The Aspiring Psychologist Podcast - Reflecting on the impact of supervisory relationships

Episode Date: July 25, 2022

Show Notes for The Aspiring Psychologist Podcast Episode: 33: Reflecting on the impact of supervisory relationshipsThank you for listening to the Aspiring Psychologist Podcast. Throughout our journeys, we meet many people. Many of these people will stay with you - in your memories, the impact they have on you personally and professionally, or by remaining a part of your world. Some of these might be memories of difficult times, but I hope most of them will be inspiring and compassionate memories of people who shaped you as an aspiring psychologist. Today I reflect on those that shaped me throughout my journey. I hope you enjoy listening and stay kind to you!The Highlights: 00:28: How I came up with today's topic!01:32: An interesting awakening 02:20 Practicing gratitude 04:14: My first supervisor07:24: Another great experience in great boots09:24: Inspiration from my trainee days – the good and the bad days 11:30: On the other side of training 13:40: Ending those great relationships17:19 Jingles and testimonials 19:08: Celebrating the jingles 21:30: Those I carry with me 21:11: A message for you Links:Connect socially with Marianne and check out ways to work with her, including the upcoming Aspiring Psychologist Book and The Aspiring Psychologist Membership on her Link tree: https://linktr.ee/drmariannetrent• To check out The Clinical Psychologist Collective Book: https://amzn.to/3jOplx0 Like, Comment, Subscribe & get involved:If you enjoy the podcast, please do subscribe and rate and review episodes. If you'd like to learn how to record and submit your own audio testimonial to be included in future shows head to: https://www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk/podcast and click the blue request info button at the top of the page.

Hi there, it's Marianne here. Before we dive into today's episode, I want to quickly let you know about something exciting that's happening right now. If you've ever wondered how to create income that works for you, rather than constantly trading your time for money, then you'll love the Race to Recurring Revenue Challenge with my business mentor, Lisa Johnson. This challenge is designed to help you build sustainable income streams. And whether you're an aspiring psychologist, a mental health professional, or in a completely different field, the principles can work for you.

There are also wonderful prizes to be won directly by Lisa herself. And if you join the challenge by my link, you can be in with a chance of winning a one-to-one hours coaching with me, Dr. Marianne Trent. Do you want to know more? Of course you do. Head to my link tree, Dr. Marianne Trent, or check out my social media channels, or send me a quick DM and I'll get you all the details. Right, let's get on with today's episode.

If you're looking to become a psychologist, then let this be your guide. episode. with Dr. Marianne Durant Hi, welcome along to the Aspiring Psychologist podcast. Thank you for listening. Now, today, I would like to think with you about the incredible people that we meet along our journeys into becoming qualified psychologists and beyond. You know, when I think back and reflect on this, it feels so lovely to have been able to keep people in my world, either in my head or in real terms as well. And this idea came to me this morning as my brain keeps waking me up at 5.59am. I don't know why. This morning I woke up assuming that it was 5.59 and it was in fact 5.45 and my brain was excited, excited and it was busy planning out this episode that just occurred to it and I was like seriously brain can we not do this you know from 7am we can be excited then that's okay and I'd not long got back to sleep again um often I just get up at six but I was I'm not getting up

at 5 45 not when it isn't for a child um so I just kind of laid there and planned this episode in my head. And then eventually I managed to get back to sleep again. And I was woken up just before seven with my husband doing some ballerina legs. I don't know what he was doing. He's not a ballerina either. And I crept my leg over to try and like gently sort of softly contact him in a way that's not a kick um to just try and quell those ballerina legs um but he was so far over the other side of the bed i don't know what he was doing i couldn't even reach him really and we've only got a double bed so that was some skill um and then like when he got up i said what were you doing it was like you were doing ballet

which the kids found hilarious he's like oh I did have some wild dreams really wild as I was having them I was thinking oh this is weird and then the kids started talking so I never got to find out what those weird twiddly legs um were all about but yeah I thought what a nice way to help you develop your skills in reflection. You know, perhaps this can be the sort of thing that you write in a reflective journal. Perhaps it might be, you know, the practice of gratitude. I think we have to be careful with the practice of gratitude that we don't, you know, make ourselves feel grateful, you know, for, I don't know, having air when the rest of a situation is really toxic. But gratitude can be a really useful thing to do when things are generally going reasonably well, because I don't want to gaslight ourselves

by, you know, doing false positives, by telling yourself that, oh, you know, at least I've got a pair of shoes without a hole in, even though I'm being bullied by my supervisor and, you know, it's all awful. So yeah, let's not gaslight ourselves with gratitude, but let's use it in a way that enriches and enhances ourselves. So I thought I'd talk to you about some of the incredible people that I've met along the way and why they've resonated with me. I haven't got any consent to share names and so I'm going to do so in a way that is anonymous so that they will know who they are but yeah hopefully not sharing too much data. um i first um when i first started working for local government um when i lived in milton keynes i had a supervisor um in that role um and she was

really key to me in helping me develop my reflection develop my containment. And she was my first ever supervision session. It all felt quite weird to begin with. It felt a bit like, well, this is odd. What's the point in this? I don't get it. It feels a bit intrusive. I don't know if I like it. It feels a bit weird having this space held for me every week. It makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, not really used to having space held for me and people wanting to know my opinion and thinking about safeguarding and documenting things and taking supervision notes. But working under her expert care, she was the first to be really meticulous about written communication. And that's something that stayed with me. I love letters and they're so important. So she was the first to be really meticulous about written communication and making sure we were sending, you know,

good letters, really. And so, yeah, I have kept her in my life. I spoke to her as recently as a couple of months ago on the phone. So I was with her for about two years. And it was a non psychology role, but I learned so many useful things from that role you know being part of an MDT you know working with clients who had physical health disabilities it was an incredible role as well as you know really connecting I hope in a lifelong way to this incredible woman um yeah it's been kind of been like being remothered a little bit you know and I know she's well she tells me she's very fond of me fond is a word I absolutely attribute to her um and yeah she's really proud of me and that really matters you know so the people we meet at the early stages of our career might well see things and

see potential within us um that we maybe don't see ourselves so she obviously could see that i had this psychology degree and had this desire to go off and you know pursue it so you know it's difficult isn't it because she didn't want to let me go because she loved what I did and liked her like being um you know my supervisor but also you know had to let me go um with with goodwill and grace and wishing me well in the world even though I know that she would have missed me when I left um but yeah we've stayed in contact and you know she's really lovely so really think about you know what other supervisory relationships you might have had and why they've been useful to you and how you can take that forward into your other supervision relationships as well. The next important pivotal milestone was my first assistant psychologist supervisor within a large psychiatric hospital I just oh I've just really loved every supervision session I loved time in her office I loved your boots you had fabulous boots before I met you but

your boots became even more fabulous with with me in your world because I gave you access to really great boots and you will know why that is and everyone else will be like how were you the provider of great boots Marianne but yeah you know I didn't feel like just part of the cogs and part of the machinery and you know I know it's very difficult when we're supporting psychologists um when there can be a reasonably high turnover of staff within trusts and divisions and hospitals um because it can just feel a bit like yeah like cogs you know like that working through and I was never made to feel that way I was made to feel like a valued part of the team um that makes me think about um the penguins of madagascar

and if you've watched that film you'll know what i mean it's very good you should watch it um yeah really valued part of the team and the community and you know they really liked having me there they really valued my work um and you know i learned so much about working in forensic services and having fun as well. My supervisor was really fun and just starting to bring in some more, you know, personal self into supervision and starting to really think about developing explicitly my skills as an aspiring clinical psychologist. And, you know, it's such invaluable experience. But yeah, I did bump into her at some training a couple of years ago. Now it's so nice to see her. We are still connected via Facebook, but we have busy lives, you know, busy lives. But yeah, sending her so much love. And the next is my first supervisor as a trainee clinical psychologist.

And it felt like such an important period. And we got on really well, even though to begin with, I just was so intimidated by her because she was a proper grown-up and she kind of was schooled in dynamic ways of thinking but I know after that time did broaden out to compassion and things like that but you know just a wonderful soul and I really valued every second I spent with her and so I just wanted to give her a special mention and to know that everything I do in sessions and everything you know I feel really grateful that you've been part of that and helped shape this experience. The next is the member of staff who was my personal tutor during the course. And I don't know why. And he also ended up being the internal invigilator, the internal examiner

in my viva. But I don't think that was because he was my personal tutor um but my viva was a bit ouchy actually um the external um examiner was not my biggest fan um the first section on the introduction went really well he really enjoyed that section really enjoyed section three as well he did not like section two he did not like the way that I'd done my grounded theory. And it led to a very difficult driver. And I just felt ripped to shreds and was really disheartened. And just the support from my personal tutor in that session was invaluable. And knowing that he was there. and then in the time after that as well he said oh he'd actually said if you'd cried during that he would have wanted to fail you and

I was like oh that feels a bit ouchy how I didn't cry I don't know I just held it together and got through it got it done and did actually pass with only minor mods in the end as well um but yeah I feel really grateful when I reflect on that time and when I think of him um I just really I think I was really pleased that he knew me and we'd you know develop that relationship during um during the training and grown with each other as well during the training and so it felt really nice that he had my back and he knew me he knew that I was competent and capable so um yeah he has a special mention uh my first ever qualified supervisor um you know I just think so fondly of the time that we spent together going from um you know newly qualified getting to grips with working five days a week and driving a long commute you know that's a big do it's a big ask

um and you know just yeah coming into the world of being qualified and taking ownership and doing leadership and having clinical accountability and responsibility she really helped empower me to do those things um to do them with grace and you know aplomb and then she took me through other important milestones as well I got married during that um that time at my that role I became pregnant and had my baby, my first baby in that role. And it was a really important nurturing experience, actually, those supervision sessions and holding that space in a way that was wonderfully nourishing and healing and validating and really helped me navigate such important milestones in my life and I think very fondly to that time and when I left that service it was I was absolutely gutted

to leave that supervisory relationship but as I understand it after I did leave there were changes within her role and in the service anyway and so it might be that it came to an end so you know sometimes it's better to be in control of when things end rather than feel like it's better to be the leaver not the left isn't it I always think um and what you'll learn in your career you know when you've been supporting aspiring psychologists is that they leave and then you miss them. The same was true with my first supervisor ever on training. I know she missed me because she messaged me to tell me. And you just don't realise how special you are and why people resonate with you in the way they do.

And I think we can get used to just thinking that there's nothing special about us. We are just part of that treadmill you know we're just another another cog in the wheel you know um but we are all unique we've got our own special unique gifts and talents um and it's lovely when others see those and really value having you in their world and in their service so um yeah you will as you go through your career you will know more and more what it's like to be left um and it's like just like you know when um when sarah went by me saying but sarah was in our team when she was a trainee psychologist and when she left i was like oh i really miss her and similarly when um when my honorary assistants moved on I was like

oh I miss them it's not the same without them um how did I do this without them you know um so yeah it's been really nice having you know relationships with with um trainees and assistants throughout my career and it's something that I get to continue as well in my work in supporting you lovely people. And then my first 8A supervisor, our experiences in helping me assimilate to life as a parent of two and in, you know know processing the grief around my loss of my father even before he died you know we worked through some of that grief stuff and it was really powerful and really important and you know what you're hearing within all of these accounts is lots of personal stuff cropping up in supervision and in order to have a really functional relationship with your supervisor

that was my ankle I've got a very cracky ankle um keep needing to go to the chiropractor um yeah the you kind of have to be vulnerable and bring yourself to supervision as well as your cases um and that is how I think you'll get the most of what you are doing within psychology. And at this point, let's take a short break, shall we? And I'll be back along very soon. If you're looking to become a psychologist, then let this be your guide. Filled with lessons and experience that will help you get qualified. So come and take a look. It's right here in this book. It's the Clinical Psychologist Collective.

It's the Clinical Psychologist Collective. I'm Jo, and I work as an assistant practitioner in a CAMS service in Lancashire. I bought and read Marianne's book, The Clinical Psychologist Collective, to accompany me while completing the clinical psychology training application. It proved to be really good company. I found it sparked ideas of how to build experience and skills, but more than that, it offered the chance to get lost in people's stories. It provided a timely reminder not to get so caught up in an end goal and to value and enjoy each job we fulfill along the way, because the work we do now is important and matters to those we sit alongside, as well as ourselves. It also gave the reassurance that there are eclectic

roots into clinical psychology which is important for me as someone who's had a meandering journey and not a typical route to the profession i wholeheartedly recommend the book for both personal and professional reasons be prepared to put evening tasks on hold for a while though because once you've started reading it's tough to put it down qualified so come and take a look it's right here in this book it's the clinical psychologist collective it's the clinical psychologist collective So thank you for listening. Hope you found that catchy. So yeah, as I was saying, that within my first 8A role,

there was really pivotal milestones that I went through um you know as well as just you know her giving me the permission to go out there and do what I do you know and she was always fiercely encouraging of me and um you know really appreciated what I was able to do and how productive I was and how much I got done um and yeah it was just a really nice nice experience you know that felt I don't know I guess I felt like a proper grown-up in that role um you know my first 8a role um my only 8a role now because i'm self-employed now so um yeah just useful stuff so thank you you know who you are um and then there was someone else in the team as well who i've kept as a friend from there um and i know she'll be happy with me name checking her because she listened to an episode recently. And that's Jane and she's a CBT therapist.

And we shared some really important experiences as well, thinking about grief and parenting and, you know, being in a relationship. And we never worked together clinically, actually. I don't think we've ever been in the same room. Oh, yes, we have a couple of times. And that was a joy an absolute joy to be working with jane um both of us loved it loved it we would have been working together a couple of more times as well but the patients didn't turn up because that does happen sometimes um but yeah we loved it it was so nice being able to you know work together therapeutically but um

yeah just really nice to be you know to have a friend that is at work. She's got girls who are a bit younger than me, but they're all adults. And so it was really nice just to have a friend from a, you know, a different generation, you know, thinking about intergenerational relationships. That's something I wrote about for the press recently as well and the power and the importance of that. And last but not least, dear listener, is you. The incredible people that I've met along my psychology career includes you. And I really love being part of your experience. And I really adore it when you tell me how useful it is because it keeps me doing what I'm doing. You know, when I'm recording this, I'm speaking to you. It's a personal, connected relationship.

That's how it feels to me. And you trusting me to help shape and guide you is lovely. So if you think about me as one of the good guys, that's really nice. That's really nice. It's a real privilege. It's a real honour. But I like learning from you as well. I like hearing what resonates with you, even stuff you don't like. I'd like to know that too. Helps me do things better. So yeah, it's just been the best experiences you know creating the clinical psychologist collective book creating this podcast series the aspiring psychologist podcast and um you know the aspiring psychologist book as well that's coming up it's just been really nice hearing from so many of you and getting to know so many of you especially in

the aspiring psychologist membership and i'm aware this like especially with the review of the 30 episodes so far and this one it sounds like i'm saying goodbye to the series and i'm not there's no plans to stop the aspiring psychologist podcast so don't worry don't worry i'm not going anywhere right um i am going to pause this I'm not going to pause it I'm going to stop it I'm going to stop that here but thank you for listening um do let me know anyone that you've had important resonant connections with get journaling get doing your gratitude um practices um see happens, get your reflective journal out. And I will look forward to catching up with you again next week, Monday, 6am. From then,

don't set your alarm for it. You know, if you're sleeping, stay asleep. I will be there for you when you wake and when you have the headspace to listen but yeah do the good things rate review listen enjoy tag me on socials if you enjoy an episode tag me share it I'd love it um right be kind to you I still haven't had my lunch yet I'm going to um look forward to catching up with you very soon. Bye. My name's Jana and I'm a trainee psychological well-being practitioner. I read the Clinical Psych collective book I found it really interesting about all the different stories and how people got to become a clinical psychologist it just amazed me how many different routes there are to get there and there's no

perfect way to become one and this kind of filled me with confidence that no I'm not doing it wrong and put less pressure on myself. So if you're feeling a bit uneasy about becoming a clinical psychologist I'd definitely recommend this just to put yourself at ease and everything will be okay but trust me you will not put the book down once you start.