The Aspiring Psychologist Podcast - The Hidden Cost of Dismissing Your Feelings - Inner Work

Episode Date: June 28, 2026

What if your nervous system is paying attention to far more than you realise?In this week's Inner Work, I reflect on my conversation with Health Psychologist Dr Sula Windgassen and explore the idea that our bodies are constantly taking in messages about safety, worth and belonging.We consider what happens when we repeatedly dismiss our own feelings, stay silent when something doesn't sit right, or fill our environments with content that leaves us feeling "less than".This isn't about dramatic life changes. It's about the small moments of self-advocacy, self-respect and self-compassion that can quietly reshape how we experience ourselves and the world around us.Highlights00:00 Your nervous system is always listening00:32 The cost of invalidating yourself01:01 Self-advocacy and safe relationships02:06 Doomscrolling and protecting your nervous system02:38 Retraining your algorithm03:11 Final reflectionsMy Inner Work series is a space to pause and think more deeply about yourself. I explore where those roles come from… and whether they’re still serving you now.These videos were previously members only but I have decided to share them with you so thanks for being here.💡 Want to support the channel? Like, comment, and share this video!🫶 To join my podcast membership to get early access to episodes head to: https://the-aspiring-psychologist.captivate.fm/support or to the Apple Podcasts App: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-aspiring-psychologist-podcast/id1605628278 or to YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOwjrIP_jatiqlAivJE2mgQ/join📩 Business & Collaboration Enquiries✉️ Email: [e-mail]🎧 Stay Connected With Me🌍 Aspiring Psychologists Website: www.aspiring-psychologist.co.uk🌍 Good Thinking Psychology Website: www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk💼 LinkedIn: Dr Marianne Trent: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-marianne-trent-psychology/ 📘Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GoodThinkingPsychologicalServices🐦 Twitter/X: @DrMarianneTrent📸 Instagram: @DrMarianneTrent🎵 TikTok: @DrMarianneTrent.📚 My Books on Amazon📖 The Grief Collective → https://amzn.to/4hNHru5📖 The Clinical Psychologist Collective → https://amzn.to/3ErIEJs📖 The Aspiring Psychologist Collective → https://amzn.to/4jSxc9N📖 Talking Heads: Stories of Psychology & Mental Health → https://amzn.to/3EvbKaN📖 An Autistic Anthology: Neuro-Narratives of Mental Health Professionals → https://amzn.to/3WXBpz9⚠️ Disclaimer This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute medical, psychological, or professional advice. Any actions taken based on this content are at your own risk. © Dr Marianne Trent#psychologypodcastMentioned in this episode:Sponsored by WriteUpp Smart ImportThis episode is sponsored by WriteUpp. One of my favourite features is Smart Import, which allows client information from intake forms to populate securely into the system with a single click. Use code MARIANNE30 for a free 30-day trial and 30% off your first 6 months. Discover WriteUpp https://writeupp.com/?refid=142336Sponsored by WriteUpp Smart ImportThis episode is sponsored by WriteUpp. One of my favourite features is Smart Import, which allows client information from intake forms to populate securely into the system with a single click. Use code MARIANNE30 for a free 30-day trial and 30% off your first 6 months. Discover WriteUpp https://writeupp.com/?refid=142336

One of my favourite little moments in my working week is when I'm preparing to meet a new client and I click the smart import button in write-up. Before I moved over to write-up, I used to spend so much time manually inputting details, checking spellings, chasing information and worrying whether I'd copied things across correctly. Now clients complete their intake forms remotely in their own time on their own device and with one click of that magic little smart import button, their information securely populates into the system ready to do. for me. That means names, addresses, GP details, next-of-kin information and more are already

there before we even meet. It feels smoother and more professional for clients, but honestly, it also really reduces mental load for me as a clinician and business owner too. And when you work in healthcare, having systems you can trust matters. Right-Up is the practice management platform built in the UK for UK practitioners. Have a look at write-up.com. That's W-R-I-T-E. P-U-P-P-com. Use code Marianne 30 for 30 days free and 30% off your first six months and then you can see whether it's that smart import button or another of write-up's great features that makes you smile too.

Hi, welcome to Inner Work. I'm Dr. Marianne Trent. I loved my chat with Dr. Sue Wingasson, the health psychologist. And what I've been left with is that idea that our nervous system is always, listening. And some of the ideas from Bessel van der Kolk's, the body keeps the score are always with me, to be honest. And this book is a lovely extension of that. But it's that idea that if we are constantly invalidating ourselves or not on our own team or, you know, saying mean things to ourselves, or dismissing what happens to us and glossing over it to make other people's lives

easier or better, but at the detriment to ourselves, then I think that can potentially become problematic. And I think it can be small shifts. It might be just starting to think, actually, this is a safe relationship for me. And when that person said that, that didn't make me feel good. And so maybe it's like older patterns that are causing me to stay silent. Maybe I can self-advocate. And I honestly believe that every time we do that, your body feels good about that and kind of breathes that sense of relief, that sense of sigh. So, you know, I think in the moment sometimes we don't always notice when that's happened. But if you find yourself kind of percolating it through and thinking about it, just be like, actually, could I go back and speak to that person? And

say, actually, when you said that or when that happened, I don't agree or that didn't make me feel good. I would empower you to be curious and to be a little bit courageous so long as the relationship you are doing that in is safe. Of course, you know, coercive and controlling behaviour is a whole other thing. Your safety is always a priority. If you find, you know, that kind of topic might be useful, please do check out my other video on coercive and controlling behaviour. But I think this idea of our nervous system always being there and always listening doesn't just crop up when we are actually with, physically with people. I think it can also be the things that we might think about ourselves, the world and others. You know, if you're always

doomscrolling things that make you feel bad about yourself, then maybe we're doing a disservice to our nervous system. And, you know, some of the ideas I spoke about with Lily Silverton on a recent podcast episode was, you know, thinking about retraining your algorithm so that it starts to show you things that you do want. My phone often shows me cat videos, but I don't own a cat anymore. But they make me feel good. They make me feel good. So what could you start to weave in to your own algorithm, which will make you feel? certainly not less you know that won't make you feel like you are coming up short thank you so much for being here in a work I would love your thoughts and yeah I will look

forward to bringing you the next episode which will be along next week I'll see you very soon take care one of my favorite little moments in my working week is when I'm preparing to meet a new client and I click the smart import button in write-up before I moved over to write-up I used to spend so much time manually inputting details, checking spellings, chasing information and worrying, whether I'd copied things across correctly. Now clients complete their intake forms remotely in their own time on their own device, and with one click of that magic little smart import button, their information securely populates into the system ready for me. That means names, addresses, GP details, next-of-kin

information, and more are already there before we even meet. It feels smoother and more professional for clients, but honestly, also really reduces mental load for me as a clinician and business owner too. And when you work in healthcare, having systems you can trust matters. Rightup is the practice management platform built in the UK for UK practitioners. Have a look at writeup.com. That's W-R-I-T-E-U-P-P dot com. Use code Marianne 30 for 30 days free and 30% off your first six months and then you can see whether it's that smart import button or another of write-ups great features that makes you smile too.