The Aspiring Psychologist Podcast - When you decide you need to quit your job - quitting your psychology role

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi there, it's Marianne here. Before we dive into today's episode, I want to quickly let you know about something exciting that's happening right now. If you've ever wondered how to create income that works for you, rather than constantly trading your time for money, then you'll love the Race to Recurring Revenue Challenge with my business mentor, Lisa Johnson. This challenge is designed to help you build sustainable income streams. And whether you're an aspiring psychologist, a mental health professional, or in a completely different field,

Starting point is 00:00:32 the principles can work for you. There are also wonderful prizes to be won directly by Lisa herself. And if you join the challenge by my link, you can be in with a chance of winning a one-to-one hours coaching with me, Dr. Marianne Trent. Do you want to know more? Of course you do. Head to my link tree, Dr. Marianne Trent, or check out my social media channels, or send me a quick DM and I'll get you all the details. Right, let's get on with today's episode. If you're looking to become a psychologist, then let this be your guide. episode. With Dr. Marianne Trent Hi, welcome along to the Aspiring Psychologist podcast.

Starting point is 00:01:33 I am Dr. Marianne Trent and I am a qualified clinical psychologist. So, I was trying to work out what to talk about today because I've got some guest podcasts lined up, but I haven't recorded them yet but they are coming so you might be like oh there's been a lot of Marianne lately but yes there's going to be another one of me today and if you're listening but would rather watch you can come along to Dr Marianne Trent on YouTube and see what I'm wearing today. So I was trying to work out what to do. I was thinking I could do this,

Starting point is 00:02:06 I could do that. And then I thought, no, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to talk about when you want to quit your job. And we've already done an episode about when you can't be bothered to be a psychologist. And we've already done an episode about when you're hurting and you feel like quitting. But today's going to be slightly different because it's going to be about actually, no, this, yeah, this isn't for me. I'm going to change my job. And it's very strange timing because I was literally just setting everything up to get sorted, looking for the right hole for the mic wire and all of that. And then my computer alerted me to the fact that Liz Truss has literally, as of about a couple of minutes ago, resigned. It's like breaking news as I speak right now.

Starting point is 00:03:04 Twitter will be a light and you should definitely if you're not already following me on Twitter come along and follow me Dr Marianne Trent yes it will be an absolute furore but it has been already hasn't it I also would welcome your comments and thoughts about how you navigate being an aspiring psychologist or mental health professional in the world right now on media and social media. So yeah, let me know. Come along to the Aspiring Psychologist Community brackets free group on Facebook and let me know what's going on for you in that realm right now. But that's an aside. So yeah, the social media will be a light. I presume there'll be a general election now. It's been

Starting point is 00:03:52 a pretty dodgy time, hasn't it? Not an enviable reign, regardless of what your political allegiances are, not an enviable role at all. And sometimes in psychology and in mental health, we also have that too. You know, on paper, the job sounded amazing, you know, on paper, like as you spotted it, perhaps on NHS jobs, or maybe in your local paper or you know on some sort of recruitment consultant website you were like this is it this is this is my job you know this is a bit of me so it might be that it was you know this long-awaited um assistant psychologist position and you were like you know your little ears pricked up, I've been there, I've been there, you know, you suddenly see there's an assistant psychologist

Starting point is 00:04:51 job actually available near you. You know, it's just about travelling distance or maybe it's even in your home city and you're like, oh, wow, this is it. You get that feeling. You're like, this is my time and I'm ready for the next step. And this is my job. Get out the way, everybody else, you know, do your best, but this job is mine. And you just get that sense and, you know, you apply and you get through to the, you know, maybe you get through the first round of applications. Maybe you even get, you know, the interview and maybe you get told you're like your final two and they want to see you again I don't know like uh but you you know you get some feedback eventually that you you're the chosen one you know you've got this job and

Starting point is 00:05:38 you're like hallelujah hallelujah you know it is my time and I'm ready for the night step and the universe told me this was going to be my job and here it is like amazing how am I celebrating you know uh buying some shoes buying a nice candle uh you know coffee with a friend I don't drink coffee don't know why I said coffee you know herbal, herbal tea for me, you know, buying a nice outfit, going out for dinner, how else do you celebrate, please do let me know, how do you celebrate when you do well, I try not to reward myself with food, try not to have, although if I was, I just got a light and intrusive thought then, if there was a Ben's Cookies nearby, which I think might only be in Brighton now but there used to be some across the uh yeah across the country I think there might only be

Starting point is 00:06:29 Brighton now if there's a Ben's Cookie nearby I might well celebrate with a chocolate orange Ben's Cookie because they are amazing so yes if you are Ben's Cookies and you'd like to send me some thanks um so uh right yeah when you get this job and you're like this is gonna be incredible and then you start and it's just not quite you know something doesn't quite feel quite right it isn't quite what you imagined but your name badge says you know assistant psychologist or whatever it is that you wanted to be and you're like so it name badge says you know assistant psychologist or whatever it is that you wanted to be and you're like so it's worth it you know I knew this wouldn't be easy but life isn't easy so I'm gonna just push it down I'm not gonna pay attention to it because

Starting point is 00:07:20 it's really cool you know love this job um so for me when I was on a placement once and I turned up and you know without even basically knowing anything about me on day one I was sort of just given 10 files and it was like very much feeling part of the conveyor belt there not feeling at all like an individual clinician and it's like small things like that that you might notice that you're like this kind of doesn't feel that comfortable to me this isn't quite what I imagined and in the brand new book the aspiring psychologist collective as well there's a couple of stories of people who are like yeah like with hindsight that wasn't an assistant psychologist job that was like just shuffling papers you know this isn't what

Starting point is 00:08:15 I imagined an assistant psychologist role or other relevant experience role please you know fill in your own um dream job there um isn't what i imagined it would be like and of course that's not really okay is it so you know that you want to get enough relevant experience and you want to get um you know the right kind of experience under the right kind of supervisor to be able to hear my husband doing some percussion as he walks around the house thanks noisy husband um he is a drummer and he makes a lot of noise um so and my children are both learning to be drummers as well so they also make lots of noise very noisy house um anyway so yeah like you're just like this isn't what I thought and although this experience is key to me, it's getting to the position now, perhaps not on day one, we might have zoomed past a little bit, where you're like, hmm, I'm not sure this is about me. can be internalizing the experiences we're having we can think well it must be me I must have

Starting point is 00:09:49 misunderstood or maybe it was the way I handled x or y and you know I remember that one time when I did struggle to get on with someone so maybe it's you know it's just something I've done but as time goes on and you're still asked to do things that don't feel like they're utilizing your skills to the best potential or they're asking you to do things that don't feel that comfortable or maybe even that robust you know maybe you're thinking this is not a safe service for me to be in. You know, it gets to the point where you're like, I don't know if I want my name associated with this service sometimes, you know, and you're thinking about, is whistleblowing?

Starting point is 00:10:36 You know, I've definitely been to the training on whistleblowing. Is this safe? And some aspiring psychologists have gone ahead and whistleblown um and then of course there shouldn't be any reason why you shouldn't continue in that job because of course you know we've got protection for whistleblowing and in case you're listening to this was like i don't know what whistleblowing is it's when you see something unsafe or um not okay and you alert um probably the whistleblowing department um in in your trust or in your in your overarching service um to say i'm i've got clinical concerns about this service or this person this is not robust this is not safe um

Starting point is 00:11:22 so that might be one of the reasons that you're feeling that this is not the job for you. But if you were to whistleblow, it could feel like hot water, but it ought not to, because you're supposed to be protected as a whistleblower. But I know when people have been in that position, that sometimes it's challenging, but we still need to make sure that we're protecting the service users. We're protecting the public. We're protecting, you know, just providing safe, robust, ethical, evidence-based services with appropriately qualified clinicians. So I remember when I was, I know some of you listened to this to get the random insights into my life. But when I was very young, I was, I'm going to say 11 or 12, something like that.

Starting point is 00:12:14 And I was at secondary school. I basically looked a bit like this, really. I looked a whole lot different, despite the fact that that is nearly three quarters of my life away ago now um but yes we were being taught German so it can't have been year one because year one we did just French but year two we did German if we'd done okay at French too much information anyway I think it was either year eight or year nine um and then the teacher was dreadful and also couldn't hold the attention of the class and couldn't hold the respect of the class either. People who would ordinarily be very pro-social, very thoughtful members of the class were being awful you know it was this teacher brought out some sort of feralness in people who ordinarily would be really good diligent students like myself included I think like just

Starting point is 00:13:17 just there was lack of respect there and that was very difficult and it got to the stage where I think we'd all complained you know we've sort of tolerated it to begin with and to begin with it's quite fun because you get to kind of mess around and but after a while you're like this is just this is a waste of my time and I am 12 you know uh and that doesn't happen easily no but it got to the stage where we were so concerned about that that we were raising that regularly with other staff. I guess it didn't feel safe at times either, you know, even though we're just in a classroom, it felt like chaos. And there was no discernible talent for teaching German observed. And so in the end, this teacher, I'm trying to stay genderless here,

Starting point is 00:14:07 I think I have so far, this teacher was dismissed. And it was later investigated that this teacher had never actually qualified as a teacher, in fact, wasn't German, which shouldn't matter, but was Austrian. And so it just was chaos, you know? So I think they do speak German in Austria, don't they? But for me at the time, it was like a big deal, like teaching us German and not even from Germany. But yeah, sometimes the wrong people are in the right job and so you might find yourself in a service where you've got someone that is a wrong person you know so hopefully not as quite chaotic as in a room full of 11 and 12 year old wildcat kids um but you might you might you know this might resonate with you you might be like yes i can immediately bring someone to mind who um you know this is just not a good fit for the service not a good fit for

Starting point is 00:15:09 me personally and I was just reflect I'm a little bit behind with Married at First Sight at the moment if you're watching that um you might well be ahead of me but I was on the final dinner party um last night for Married at First Sight UK and like there's some people as soon as they walk in they just bring the energy of the room down and it's like oh I don't know if you guys have got a whatsapp group for watching reality tv with your other psychology friends but I have and we're all like oh did you see that did you see that yeah there's some people in services that are like that too so basically all of these many factors including you know toxic culture about work finish and start times and not stopping for your lunch always stop for your lunch people I do if you're like oh I'd like to hear more about what Marianne does for lunch then

Starting point is 00:15:58 please do listen to the previous episode which was episode 45 where I talk in detail about my love of lunch um so yeah like you just very quickly for a variety of reasons coming to the conclusion that this job is not a bit of you this is not for you and the best conclusion you can think of is to leave um to pack up your troubles and your old kit bag and you know see if you want to take that that um trust pen with you that never works very well because I could say pack up your desk but I never had one never really had one in NHS services I did have a locker in my most recent service but even being able to find a chair at times was problematic so um yeah you know see see whether you've got a notebook that they're going to let you take with you um but you might decide that you need to look for a new role um

Starting point is 00:16:56 that your time in this service is limited and that can lead to a whole host of difficult um emotions um in yourself you know especially if you don't yet have a job to go to. So, you know, you might be in a position where you're having to stay in a job that you don't want to be in because, you know, you've got to finish your qualification or if you don't stay in it, there might be some sort of financial consequence or, you know, because you're worried about, you know, having at least six months on your CV or you really want that reference on your CV, for example. And to that, and of course, you might just need the money, you know, which is very real and a very pressing concern.

Starting point is 00:17:38 But we also need to think about you being important. And, you know, this is likely not a case of you being a bad fit for psychology or for the mental health career that you are pursuing but this is quite possibly localized to this one service and to the people that you have met in it um and i'm very aware also not just that today is the day that liz truss has resigned but we're also um you know in the first stretch of um doctorate training courses and that imminently people will start their first placement or their third placement or their fifth placement depending on how the courses are structured that was the timing autumn for me when I was a trainee clinical psychologist so first would usually run September October usually October until around March. I would always take a week at the end of placement to have a nice break.

Starting point is 00:18:48 And then the next one, I think I start around April time and run until August, September time. Depends on the dates. And then obviously you'd have the same cycle but for placements three and four and five and six the following year so yeah always trying to illuminate the process in case you don't know about the processes but if you do know that already then sorry but try to make this as accessible as possible and to save you any future Googles. So yeah, at this point, let's just take a quick break to hear from one of you guys about what it's like to be just in my world. Yeah, this is a good one. Hope you enjoy. Dr. Marianne Trent is here to help aspiring psychologists. She can help you become a success.

Starting point is 00:19:53 She has books, podcasts, and does a Q&A. She's here to help in so many ways. It's Dr. Marianne Trent. Dr. Marianne Trent. Dr. Marianne Trent. My name's Lizzie and I work as a Senior Psychological Wellbeing Practitioner. I first became aware of Marianne Trent through her compassionate lives on Facebook throughout application season for the DECLIN. I then got hooked on her Aspiring Psychologist podcast, which really helped me to

Starting point is 00:20:25 think about how my experiences have shaped me as a practitioner. The Clinical Psychologist Collective book allowed me to be kind to myself, as I learned that very few people have a straightforward journey to training. I was then lucky enough to be one of the first to join the Aspiring Psychologist membership, and this means I have what's affectionately known in my house as Marianne Mondays. As on top of a new podcast episode, I also have a session on most Monday evenings on topics such as the application, research, and various modalities such as CBT, psychodynamic approaches, or cognitive analytic therapy with a host of experts. The community Marianne has created and the support she offers has been invaluable so far this season.

Starting point is 00:21:11 I'm learning so much about myself and the world of clinical psychology. I highly recommend the Aspiring Psychologist podcast, Marianne's books, and the Aspiring Psychologist membership to anyone thinking about clinical training. She can help you become a success. She has books, podcasts, and does a Q&A. She's here to help in so many ways. It's Dr. Marianne Trent. Dr. Marianne me. I didn't know that. Yeah, I would love to know how many of you first learned about me, frankly. When did I first darken your door or brighten your vista, maybe?

Starting point is 00:22:18 How did it feel for you? When did you first hear about me? And, you know, was that a good thing? Or were you like marry what marry who let me know um but yeah if you'd like to leave me an audio testimonial um please do head along to my website www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk forward slash podcast um and if you've read one of the um psychology books and you let me have that testimonial before the 31st of um october which is halloween which is coming up imminently if you do that before halloween uh then you'll be entered into a draw to win a one-to-one psychology coaching session with me on the first second, 2nd or 3rd of November,

Starting point is 00:23:06 just in case you wanted to use that session to tweak your form before submissions, to have a look at it together. So I'm going to be closing the draw on the 31st of October, which is the day of the next Compassionate Q&A as well. But I won't do the draw until the 1st of November because I want to make sure that everybody before midnight can get their entries in if they would like to. So yes, there's other information about how you can enter the competition in the show notes, but also on my website. So if you go to www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk forward slash my hyphen books you will see all the information you need there so we're thinking about deciding

Starting point is 00:23:55 and indeed finding a new job and knowing that that's okay so of course if it feels safe to do so you should be discussing some or all of this with your supervisor and with your manager as well, who might not be your supervisor, because some services have different managers than supervisors. But it doesn't always feel that safe to do. But you could also consider talking to HR. If you're unionised, you could also consider talking to your union. And again, like I said, it might involve talking through policies and procedures and potentially whistleblowing. But it might just be that you're like, this is not the job for me. This is not what I imagined. This is not what I think an assistant psychologist role is. I feel like a skivvy.

Starting point is 00:24:41 This is not for me. I just paused for a brief moment there to check I wasn't gonna be offending anybody with an ulterior meaning for the word skivvy I think we're okay with that so apparently it does mean a female servant who's asked to do menial tasks so I'm gonna open that up and suggest that regardless of your gender you can be a skivvy, you know, asking someone's asking you to do stuff that you just think this is not my role. You know, this isn't about being too posh to do some jobs or thinking it's not my role. You know, I have done washing up and all sorts and kind of dived in to help support the team and do different bits and pieces that you wouldn't necessarily think are the roles of an aspiring or qualified psychologist but you know things to support

Starting point is 00:25:30 the team and to have a cohesive um a cohesive environment you know like going to tea dances and things um with uh with with clients when I was an inpatient lovely memories but not specifically an assistant psychologist role but um yes we're not talking about that we're talking about stuff that feels like it's not using your skills ever you know and you've worked hard to develop those skills so and of course um sometimes as I was saying you, at this sort of time, people are doing trainee clinical psychology roles, perhaps for the first time. And that balance of academic pressures, placement pressures, jostling to find a place in the cohort and personal life and commute and sometimes people are living separately to their family and having great amounts of travel it is not unheard of that people decide to quit their doctoral psychology training and I know that if you're

Starting point is 00:26:47 an aspiring psychologist yourself and you haven't yet been offered doctoral training that when you hear that it feels like oh you've taken a place and then you've not completed your training this is a place I could have had this is a place someone else could have had but all of those factors sort of need to just be put to one side we can't be too worried about what other people think about us because you matter and we can't know that we're going to like doing anything if we've not done it before you know we do things with the best intentions with the best resources we've got on any given day but that might be different when we actually get there and we've got more insight into what that role is like or we thought that might be sustainable for a period of time but actually when we get there or perhaps some of the variables

Starting point is 00:27:45 change and you're less resourced you know perhaps someone in your family becomes ill or your own health starts to falter and that suddenly becomes untenable for you um and so you know you might be listening to this thinking i'm not sure this old training malarkey is for me, or I'm not sure this doctoral training malarkey is for me, you know, because you might decide to defer and have a place on the same cohort next, same course next year, if that's a possibility, or you might decide this uni is not fit for you, you know, kind of locally, you know, you need something closer to where you grew up or, you know, away from where you grew up or you know away from where you grew up maybe that's part of the problem but you might decide whatever psychology or mental

Starting point is 00:28:30 health role you're in even if it is a doctoral program that this is just making you so unhappy giving you that you know really really connect to your body where you're feeling that in your body this is just making you feel so sick and sluggish and it feels like the weight of the world is pressing on your shoulders with making it feel like this is just consuming all of your thoughts so I just wanted to extend my compassion if you are finding yourself in this position right now and to just give you permission to do what you need to do to look after yourself. But yeah, please do reach out for people's support that you care about and that you trust. You do speak to your supervisor if that feels safe to do so do speak to your um if you're on training speak to your personal tutor if that doesn't feel safe

Starting point is 00:29:31 speak to your cohort speak to your um course director if that feels okay um speak to another local clinician um you know speak to someone on placement or you know speak to, you know, speak to someone on placement or, you know, speak to someone, you know, you don't have to feel this way, this is not okay. And often the burden of having that first conversation can feel like the most difficult time. But if we don't ask for help, then people don't always think to offer it. So yeah, you need to make the decision that's right for you. But please try not to make that in isolation. Please try to make sure that you're at least including people in your family, your support systems to make sure that you're going to be looked after practically and emotionally. So I hope you found this a useful episode. It's been my pleasure to speak with you.

Starting point is 00:30:19 Please do come and connect with me on my socials. I'm Dr. Marianne Trent most places um and yeah come and join the free community uh the aspiring psychologist uh community free group on Facebook um and yeah if you would welcome more support come along to the Q&A on the 31st um across all of my socials at 7 30 p.m um apart from TikTok notok not on tiktok and um yeah if you would like even more support come and join the aspiring psychologist membership more details on my socials or in the show notes thank you so much be kind to yourself please please please be kind to yourself thank you so much for being part of my world i'll catch up with you very soon for the next episode

Starting point is 00:31:01 of the aspiring psychologist podcast take care if you're looking to become a psychologist then let this be your guide with this podcast at your side you'll be on your way to being qualified it's the aspiring psychologist with dr marianne My name's Jana and I'm a trainee psychological well-being practitioner. I read the Clinical Psych collective book I found it really interesting about all the different stories and how people got to become a clinical psychologist it just amazed me how many different routes there are to get there and there's no

Starting point is 00:32:00 perfect way to become one and this kind of filled me with confidence that no I'm not doing it wrong and put less pressure on myself. So if you're feeling a bit uneasy about becoming a clinical psychologist I'd definitely recommend this just to put yourself at ease and everything will be okay but trust me you will not put the book down once you start.

The Aspiring Psychologist Podcast - When you decide you need to quit your job - quitting your psychology role

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