The Aspiring Psychologist Podcast - Why We Numb Our Pain | Trauma, Alcohol & Emotional Avoidance

Episode Date: August 12, 2026

Trauma doesn't always look the way people expect. Sometimes it shows up as anxiety, depression, emotional numbness or unhealthy coping strategies instead. In the Episode, Dr Marianne Trent explores why we avoid emotional pain, how trauma affects the brain, and why therapies such as EMDR can help you reconnect with yourself and move towards healing. #Trauma #EMDR #MentalHealth💡 Want to support the channel? Like, comment, and share this episode!📩 Business & Collaboration Enquiries✉️ Email: [e-mail]🎧 Stay Connected With Me🌍 Aspiring Psychologists Website: www.aspiring-psychologist.co.uk🌍 Good Thinking Psychology Website: www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk💼 LinkedIn: Dr Marianne Trent: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-marianne-trent-psychology/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GoodThinkingPsychologicalServices🐦 Twitter/X: @DrMarianneTrent📸 Instagram: @DrMarianneTrent🎵 TikTok: @DrMarianneTrent.📚 My Books on Amazon📖 The Grief Collective → https://amzn.to/4hNHru5📖 The Clinical Psychologist Collective → https://amzn.to/3ErIEJs📖 The Aspiring Psychologist Collective → https://amzn.to/4jSxc9N📖 Talking Heads: Stories of Psychology & Mental Health → https://amzn.to/3EvbKaN📖 An Autistic Anthology: Neuro-Narratives of Mental Health Professionals → https://amzn.to/3WXBpz9⚠️ DisclaimerThis content is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute medical, psychological, or professional advice. Any actions taken based on this content are at your own risk.© Dr Marianne Trent

Hi, welcome along to Inner Work. I am Dr. Marianne Trent, a qualified clinical psychologist. It's lovely to have you here. So in the main episode this week on psychology, actually I was talking with Dr. Alex Button about all things EMDR and trauma. And whilst the whole episode is really impactful, I thought we'd take a little bit of a deeper dive. So it's that idea that sometimes as humans we will naturally be, you know, avoidant of pain.

It makes sense because we need to be aversive to pain. It's why when we are, you know, I love with young children, we'll say, you know, keep your hands away from the hob, don't touch the oven, like let's keep ourselves safe. But if we then do burn ourselves or hurt ourselves, we learn that that pain is not good. I am recording this with a broken hands. If you're watching on video, you might be like,

has she not learned about pain being aversive? I have. I have learned and it will be interesting when I go back to do reformer Pilates, how that will lay flat for me. I think I will be extra specially careful when I am pressing the pause button to do some more reps in between the exercises. So yeah, I think, especially as a trauma specialist, I definitely do need to be able to go back to the scene of the crime and I broke my arm three years ago and I had, have been back cycling to the area where I hurt my arm because it felt important to reclaim that.

But of course, when it comes to psychological trauma, things that feel ouchy, often especially if we're feeling like we don't have somewhere safe to take that or someone safe to take it to, then we can kind of build these little barriers in our brain or in our behaviour so that we're not having to kind of address that so often because it's a natural kind of pain relief strategy. And another way that people will do that is to look for kind of some anesthetic to life. And that might be ordinary life or it might be that there's kind of trauma elements in there that might feel like they need more. anethitising. So sometimes when I'm working with people and they say, well, I don't drink,

I don't do any drugs, I'm not on any medication, but I've got all of these things happening. It's like, wow, well, how are you coping with that? Because you are doing all of that without an aesthetic. And that is not to say that I think the people would need that. But it's to kind of highlight that you are doing that, you know, without anything taking the edge off. So if it feels, feels like it's a lot, that's because it is. And of course, Alex put really nicely in the main podcast episode, that often trauma can present as if its anxiety or can present as if it's depression.

And so it's gonna make us kind of slow down, it's gonna make us more hypervigilant, which might then make sleep harder as well, And sometimes with depression, often people might retreat into sleep. But if you are traumatised, then being able to get that sleep is going to feel even trickier. And so often I'm working with people who will be saying, well, I am coping using alcohol or I'm using, you know, my prescribed medication. Sometimes I'm using a little bit more than has been prescribed.

Please don't do that. Please, if you find yourself in that position, do go and speak to your GP or your prescribed. but time and time again people are telling me well I'll get in from work or I'll you know come five o'clock I'll find myself reaching for the fridge reaching for the wine reaching for the beer because I can't carry on with this level of thoughts with this level of intrusion with feeling this awful and so it's that kind of seeking to to change your feeling state to change your mood state to change the way you feel and often when we're looking at the window of tolerance it's that desire to bump

yourself either in or out of a different mood state so if we were looking at if someone was feeling really spacey and numb and frozen and dissociated then sometimes they will tell me that they will be looking at something to bump them up a bit so that they feel more normal or the other way around if they're so hyper aroused and agitated, they'll be looking for something to bring them down and that's where alcohol might often be mentioned. But of course, doing this is kind of telling the brain, telling the body that we can't safely exist in the normal window of tolerance bit. And so this is where accessing therapy of some descriptions such as EMDR can be really powerful because it

helps you to live that fuller life, where you're more engaged, where things feel like they come more easily to you. That might be your own career. That might be parenting. That might be just the thing that makes you you. So if you feel that you are suffering with kind of managing post-trauma, please do know that it can be different. People are often. People are often will believe there's no hope ever feeling any different when it comes to trauma. But I know and Dr. Alex would want you to know it absolutely is. Change is possible. I hope you found this special episode of Inner Work Helpful.

I love your thoughts and your feelings on it. Please do let me know in the comments or by coming to connect with me on social media where I'm Dr. Marianne Trent everywhere. If you like my episodes, if you like the content, please do share. Please do tag so that we can help psychology actually and inner work to develop a wider audience. That means we get even better guests every time. Thank you so much. I'll be along for the next episode of Inner Work, which will drop on Wednesday evenings in the UK.

Thank you again. Take care.