The Athletic Football Show: A show about the NFL - Luck Episode 6: The End

Episode Date: July 11, 2022

Wait ... what?!? That was a common reaction to the stunning news that came down the night of August 24, 2019. Andrew Luck — just 29 years old, coming off his most efficient season ever — was walking way from football, broken down and battered, his love of the game gone. How? Why?In Episode 6 of LUCK, host Zak Keefer examines in detail one of the most shocking retirements in NFL history: the lead-up, the clues, the scene, the reaction then and now. Voices include Jim Irsay, Chris Ballard, Jacoby Brissett, Robert Griffin III, David Shaw and more. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Somewhere, somewhere along the way, this dark shadow emerged in the corridors over all of our hallways, and we don't like it. None of us like, Andrew doesn't like it. You know, I saw him as his, you know, the shoulder was hard. I mean, it was freaking hard, man, that was a hard year. But no, I never, I didn't envision this. It's no secret. We go to Houston, we win, okay? We go to Kansas City.

We come up short. He plays in the Pro Bowl in Orlando, and then the off-season hits. And I walked out and I was like, oh, shit. Like, I was like frozen. And I think I seen Ballard in the hallway. And Ballard just looked at me like, no words. It was just like, yeah, it's like fuck. Of course, the question is, you know, always going to be asked.

Is Dave Hammer leaving me a voicemail saying, we have a minor lower leg thing that we're looking at, but it should be okay to where we are today? The guy played through a ruptuous sleep, for Christ's sake. He was going to play through a calf. We have nothing. but gratitude and thankfulness for the blood, sweat, and tears he spilled as number 12. And part of our hearts broken tonight.

Andrew Luck's retirement remains one of the most shocking moments in NFL history. The way it happened, when it happened, everything that he and the team had said in the months prior, what his teammates had seen. So how did we get here? This is Luck, Episode 6, The End. Let's go back to January of 2019. The Colts had just lost to the Kansas City Chiefs in the divisional round of the playoffs.

The next day, Luck is clearing out his locker. He's talking one more time with reporters before heading into what would be another off-season of discontent. I think we've got a great group of guys in this locker room. I think we've got great leadership that side of the building. And certainly that makes me excited to be a cult.

The focus of the conference, conversation is on two topics. One, how excited luck is about the future of the franchise. And two, how he was heading into an offseason seemingly pain free for the first time in four years. I know personally it's a little bit exciting. But I also know how much I can improve. Then, just a few months later, in April, luck is smiling, he's laughing, he's joking. He's actually revealing personal details about himself with reports.

That was all you, and those are all your moves? I always taught those moves, very good choreographer, but yes, that was me. Luck could exhale. He'd climbed out of his shoulder nightmare. He was a married man. He and Nicole had tied the knot that spring in the Czech Republic, and after some really dark years, it felt like everything had fallen back into place. I think emotionally, it felt weird not going to work for a while.

Like, it really took a while not to say, oh, this is okay, you know, to reset. Both Ballard and Reich would make the trip overseas for Luck's wedding. But before that, really, as soon as the team returned home from its playoff loss to Kansas City in January, luck was bugging Ballard wanting to know what the team was going to do to get better heading into 2019. I'll never forget that next week. Andrew was his giddiness and determination and happiness and joy that I saw from what he had accomplished. the team had accomplished during the season had just carried over. And that, I mean, that went on for, I mean, not only, you know, into the end of the season, but also in the February March,

where Andrew went got married over in Europe, the emails, you know, what are we doing? You know, what, you know, what's our direction? Who are we signing? You know, all of that, Andrew, you know, would stay in touch and weekly talk. And so, yeah, yeah, he was extremely excited about where we were going the direction of the team. And, you know, the future was. extremely bright. The Colts held luck out of minicamp in June, citing a minor cap strain that he'd suffered while training a few months earlier. Truth be told, most of us brushed it aside at the time. And to be perfectly clear, the team and luck seemed to as well. Dealt with injuries in the past, I think we're on a very, very good page, and I'll be ready for training camp and in the early

report date and all that. Luck told reporters at that June minicamp he was going to follow the steps it took to get back on the field. There's a lot less anxiety in my life about it, I guess, that I have it had in the past with certain things. And, you know, but I think trusting myself, trusting the process, trusting how things go, and working hard and still pushing yourself and expecting, you know, good progress every day is a big part of that. He was still throwing, still keeping his arm in shape, and there was no hesitation in his voice when he pledged that he'd be ready to go at the start of training camp. After all he'd been through with the shoulder, a minor calf strain in June didn't seem like that big of a deal.

calf strain aggravated it, training. Things can be stubborn sometimes. I certainly don't feel as young as I once did. And I'm certainly also being conservative with things. It's one of the lessons I learned going through my shoulder. That same month, Colts head coach Frank Reich was asked whether his star quarterback would be ready in six weeks for the start of training camp. I mean, in my mind, it's a no-brainer. I mean, it's, you know, you never know. I mean, you can always re-aggravate something, I suppose. You know, he starts working out and his thing heals in next week and he goes out and he's working. out in the next couple of week and reaggravate something. But barring anything crazy, in my mind, it's more of a no-brainer. Here's the thing.

Rike and the Colts were being honest. They honestly thought luck was going to be good to go. They had no clue that this calf injury was going to become what it became. Just listened to Colts owner Jim Ursa, who by the start of training camp in late July, was starting to dream big again. This team is one of the best teams. that I've had the privilege to bring to our fans. Without even being asked, Ursaite offered up how healthy the team was heading into camp.

I like the health of the team. You know, Dave Hammer's report to me was very short, which is always good. We've had one situation that popped up. But beyond that, you know, it's excellent. And Andrew's excellent. He's happily married, waiting for the baby. baby to come and all that kind of stuff. So I couldn't be more excited, guys.

And the health issue that Ursae referenced didn't even have to do with Andrew Lug. It had to do with defensive engine ball shear. At the time, Erse's expectations for his star quarterback were sky high. Everyone here knows Andrew stays healthy and has a great year. We're going to have a great year. To be honest, it's hard to knock Ursay for his belief. The Colts were on the come, a trendy AFC pick, and a dark horse Super Bowl contender. The optimism started with the quarterback, the reigning NFL comeback player of the year.

In his first season with head coach Frank Reich and offensive coordinator Nick Siriani, Lucket at the most efficient year of his career, throwing for 39 touchdowns in over 4,500 yards. He made it through shoulder hell, reestablished himself as one of the best in the game, and in Ursa's words, was ready to lead the Colts into another gilded era. We had everybody coming back, and I was like, Frank and Andrew are like a perfect match. That's Jacoby Brissette, Luck's backup, who'd play a central role in the unfolding saga. He was just like in the zone at the end of the season. I was like, all right, I went to the Pro Bowl to hang out with him.

And we were just talking. It's like, man, I just can't wait for the season. But things began to shift at the start of training camp. There was a practice early on that I'll never forget. I was standing on the sideline watching Luck miss throw after throw, getting frustrated with each passing down. It was obvious to me that something was off. After each throw, he'd stand there,

reworking his motion from start to finish, slowing it down step by step. He was searching for something. And it was pretty obvious that he never. ever found it. It was weird because we'd heard about some sort of ankle issue and I believe in the summertime during the OTAs in the mini camp. This is Stephen Holder who's covered the Colts since 2013. And at that point, frankly, unless it's a severe injury, look, we've covered football a long time. You know, guys are hurting the in the summer. You just kind of shrug and like, okay,

just let me know if he's okay in training camp. I don't care. And I kind of don't, right? This was one of those. It was, okay, he's got this ankle thing. And, for Frank Reich is sort of heming and honing trying to explain it in, not doing a very good job. We just kind of said, all right, whatever. At one point, the Colts decided to have Luck undergo a test that would reveal if a tiny bone in the back of his ankle, a bone called the Ostrigonum, was loose. Only 10% of people have this bone, and yes, Andrew Luck is part of that 10%. But no, as it turned out, the bone wasn't loose. So was this a cast strain? Was this an ankle injury? For a while, the Colts doctors and the outside consultants, they were

brought in were stumped. Why was the pain still there? But I think the questions are understandable because he had played through so much in the past. What's up with this sore ankle? He's not, he can't even practice? What's going on? Right. So it was very bizarre. We would ask Andrew, he would occasionally come out and interview with us. We didn't really get a lot of information. First it's his ankle. Then it's like a calf thing. Then it was something I can't pronounce. What is that? Right? What's an ostrugonum? Listen, I learned things about the human body by covering Andrew Luck that I never knew before. I can tell you all about shoulders. I can tell you about ribs. I can tell you about ostracognums. Didn't know that existed before.

Yeah, it's been an education for sure. On July 30th, less than a week into training camp, luck spoke in front of the media only after the PR staff convinced him to. I did a disservice to myself by saying I'd be ready. I think it was another thing I tried to learn with an injury as you can. You know, things, bodies don't care about a date on a count. or something. And I certainly wish I was out here. But the nature of it is a calf strain. And I say lower leg because I feel pain in my ankle area and calf strain.

And I guess I'll get a little specific. I've had images and x-rays and everything. And my Achilles is not at extra risk. There is no tear or swelling in there or anything that's indicated. But so it's a calf strain. And we're on our feet a lot. And I know to be the best quarterback I want to be to help this team, like I want to help them, I can't be, I'm not looking for average.

And if I'm going out here with pain, I'll be average. I will feel like an average quarterback and I'll be an average quarterback. That's not good enough for me. That's not good enough for this club. What stood out was that Luck made a specific point about what happened to him in 2016 when he played through that shoulder injury for the entire season, making things worse for him down the line. He was going to do everything in his power not to take.

go down that path again. I could not live with myself if we got to the season or a point of the season and said, hey, I could have done this to take care of this issue, but I didn't because of X, Y, Z, whatever that is. I'm not going to allow that to happen. It's something, again, 2016. And, you know, I still have some emotional scars from that, and that lives with me still. But I'm trying to use it in a positive way, certainly for myself.

After that, luck was essentially a ghost. He was working out by himself. He was avoiding the media as best he could. offering little to no information about his status for the September 8th opener against the Chargers. But behind the scenes, he was doing everything in his power to be ready. He told teammates and coaches and close friends the same thing. Reich and Ballard were left to answer our questions on why the franchise quarterback had a calf strain that had lingered for five months.

Trust me, we asked ourselves this question a lot during that training camp. What the hell is going on? Training camp comes, and as it turns out, he's still dealing with this thing. And that's when it's like, well, wait a minute, wait a minute. It was six weeks ago. What are you talking about? There was a moment of a little bit of exasperation, I think, from Frank Craig. I don't think he meant it to be an exasperation, but it kind of was when we were grilling him about this.

Like, when is he going to come back? When is he going to practice again? What is the story here? Give us, you know, this doesn't make sense. Explain it. What is it? And he said, look, his retort was, or his response, I guess, was, look, guys. Andrews, make no mistake.

He's driving the truck here, right? He knows how he feels. He knows best. what is going to get him ready. So that's how we're proceeding. I never heard a coach say that about a player. Like, hey, it's up to him. Like, normally, the team is kind of in control of these things.

I don't necessarily mean in control of, like, forcing the player out there. But, like, it's definitely very cooperative. And this was different. This was, they were taking their cues from him. And it was very unusual. That's just not the way it typically works. A calf strain that lingers for multiple months isn't abnormal. The Colts had additional scans done,

and there was no tear, thus no surgery needed. But on top of a grade two calf strain, which Luck had aggravated early in camp, we'd later learned that he was also dealing with the posterior impingement, which causes searing pain in the back of the ankle. Tom House, the throwing guru who'd mentored luck both physically and mentally, back from the darkness of his shoulder saga, was summoned to Indianapolis three different times that month.

Nobody could tell him why it hurt. And to be honest, I had never seen it. anything like it. And none of the interventions that we try, from the traditional to the Ui-Hui stuff, none of it seemed to relieve him of the pain. One week of camp blood into another, and soon enough the preseason had started. Luck never saw the field. Brissette, meanwhile, was taking all of the first team reps on the practice field. And like everybody else, Brissette was beginning to wonder, when is this guy coming back? I never thought it was abnormal, like not normal because man and him

was always talk, he was always in meetings and like, our relationship at that point was like, we were talking all the time. So, like, I would see him all the time.

He's like, yeah, I'm getting better. He was, obviously, like, with his previous injury of, like,

history, like, he just wanted to be cautious. And like, that sounds logical. Like, okay. And in my head, I'm like,

I don't mind taking all the reps. Like, I didn't play all last year before. I kind of want to stay on top of my game and keep getting better. And then it got to probably one week he was in practice.

I guess it was the first week he was supposed to be practicing. Or was it the preseason game. He was doing like drills on the field. The next week he didn't practice. And in my head, I was like, hmm, maybe I might be playing the first four games. At one point, he decided to go up to offensive coordinator Nick Siriani and quarterback's coach Marcus Brady and find out what exactly was going on. And then the next week he didn't practice. And I think I was talking to Nick or Marcus.

And I was like, bro, somebody has to tell me something. Like, I need to be prepared for something. And I just remember, like, in my head, I told my. I literally told myself, I was talking to probably Jack. I always talked to Jack a lot. And I was like, man, I think I might be playing the first four games. But that's the odd thing in all of this. Luck was working out like crazy, desperately trying to push through the pain and ready himself for the season.

Maybe he'd be ready for week one. Maybe he'd miss a few starts. But the season, there was absolutely no indication of that. He later said that at no point during those first few weeks of August did the word retirement ever cross his mind. Peter King, who's covered the league for four decades and was on his annual training camp tour around that time, grabbed a few minutes with luck on August 4th during his stay in Indianapolis. Opening day five weeks from today, any doubt in your mind you'll play? No, no doubt. I certainly believe I will.

I had been with him absolutely unequivocally. There was no indication that he was going to do this. He thought that he was fine. He was just taking a few days off to get himself, right for the season. Former Colts coach Tony Dungey was also in town that month, asked by Ursae to address the team ahead of the season. He witnessed the same thing. They had like an alumni day or something at training camp. And Andrew wasn't practicing, but I talked to him and he was working out on his own like a banshee. I mean, he was doing

these box jumps and working out with the weights. And I was just like, wow, man, this guy is unbelievable. The Colts' second preseason game arrived on a Saturday night, and I showed up early to the game. And there, on the field, warming up like a man possessed, was Andrew Luck. Box jumps, ladder drills, you name it. He was moving at full speed, working up a sweat, looking far more like a quarterback on the brink of a return than one contemplating retirement. What only Luck knew at the time, the calf wasn't improving, the pain wasn't going away,

and he'd started to think about calling it a career. In fact, in his mind, the decision had already been made. but why do those tedious agility drills that every football player hates when you know you're retiring in a week? I asked him that question years later, and his response, he wanted to enjoy Lucas Oyo Stadium as a player one last time. And he's doing this furious workout on the field in pregame, which is typical for preseason because the starters don't play a lot. He's not a guy who plays much in preseason. So you get your work in before the game. And he's out there and we're watching them through binoculars thinking, okay, whoa, this guy looks at

It's fine. He's going to play. I remember that week I had just reported a story. I think I published the story maybe a couple of days after seeing that. The story was basically not my opinion. It was based on interviews with lots of teammates and just what I had seen. The story was about just how hard he had been working behind the scenes. What we learned is that he had been doing all kinds of really strenuous workouts, throwing the ball and running and doing all sorts of things in the indoor facility up in Westfield, Indiana, where they have training camp. I remember one day he came out to talk to us and he's just dripping and sweat and he had clearly been doing really strenuous workout.

Remember Ty Wylton telling me, oh, he's working out like an animal. Like, this guy looks ready. And other players repeating that and then seeing what happened before the Browns game, and you're thinking, all right, this guy, this is going to happen. He's going to be okay. And I think we all kind of let our guard down for a very good reason because he looked fine. And then everything changed. In that Monday, Luck asked for a meeting with Jim Ursay, Chris Ballard, and Frank Reich.

The four of them sat in Ersay's office for two hours. And in that meeting, the Colts 29-year-old franchise quarterback told his bosses that he was walking away from the game. I'm in pain, luck said. I'm going to retire. At first, they were shocked. And their initial impulse was to see if he'd reconsider. What if a few months down the line, the pain in the calf was gone? What do you want to play then? No, Luck said. His mind was made up. He was done for good. Ballard was stunned. And it took me a little time in the process. I wasn't mad by any stretch because my relationship at Andrew at that point had developed into much more than a GM quarterback relationship. I mean, it was a true friendship and loving, caring relationship that's going to go far beyond

and, you know, football at that point. I don't want to say like a father, you know, because he's got a great dad, but, you know, our relationship was very close. And, you know, I was. I was extremely shocked. I was sad. I was very sad. At Lux's request, the Colts kept a lid on the news all week.

He told a few teammates that Thursday and Friday, including T.Y. Hilton, Ryan Kelly, Anthony Costanzo, Jack Doyle, and of course, Brissette, who said, he said. suddenly was QB1 in Indianapolis. I was actually sad more than like anything. I was like, damn, like I was getting ready to watch this dude like a sin. And then I was just like, fuck like it got to the point where he just said no more. And I was like, damn, because he's obviously a mentally strong dude. But then like I talked to him and he was just like so happy.

Like he was like, because I think he saw me like get sad. And he was like, no, no, no, Jacoby. You can't be sad. Like I'm happy. And I was like, damn, like I walked out of. to meet and I was actually watching film or something or practicing. And I walked down and I was like, holy shit.

Like, I don't even know what. I was like frozen. And I think I seen Ballard in the hallway. And Ballard just looked at me like, no words. He was just like, yeah. It's like, fuck. So it was pretty crazy. Knowing Andrew, like, it took a lot for him to get to the point where he's like, I just can't do it anymore.

And I was kind of sad that it got to that point, you know? And I just like, I mean, I'm right now, I'm kind of like getting like emotional about it because I just remember in the day of just like, it's like, damn, he won't be here? Like, it's weird. The Colts were set to host the Bears on a Saturday night for their third preseason game. Luck was on the field beforehand, not warming up like the previous week, but chatting with teammates, laughing, looking completely normal.

Chuck Bagano was back in Indianapolis as the new defensive coordinator for the Bears, and the two shared a long hug and conversation before the game. Years later, I asked Bagano, did he know? No, no, I mean, and everybody else found out is when I found out, We all found out. He wasn't alone. Heck, most inside the Colts organization had no clue the franchise quarterback was about to walk away. This includes staffers, scouts, even the players themselves.

But the plan was in place. Luck had signed his retirement papers that afternoon, and a press conference was scheduled for the following day at 3 p.m. His mom, his dad, his brother, and his sisters were scheduled to fly into Indianapolis to be there. But that press conference would never happen. I'll never forget when his agent, Will Wilson, and I just have great respect for, but I'll never forget when we were in here, him and I were signing the, you know, the retirement stuff. Both of us got Tiriag.

You know, we both not just because of our care for Andrew and knowing what he had been through, how hard it had been on him, and that it was over. You know, we both knew it was over. and it was, yeah, this is actually the day it came out. This was the day of the preseason game when it actually ended up coming out that night. You know, and we signed and had to turn some things into the league. And I remember both of us having a moment where we both were teary-eyed signing it going, man, you know, this beautiful, beautiful player is not going to play anymore.

A few hours later, in between the bruchetta and his pennyola vodka, Adam Schaefter landed the NFL's juiciest scoop in a decade. ESPN's top newsbreaker was actually off the grid that night, celebrating his mother-in-law's 75th birthday at an Italian restaurant on the banks of the Hudson River in New York. But everything changed when he got a phone call and a tip on the story that was about to rock the entire sport. You see Andrew Luck on the sidelines, and you see the graphic on the screen. The Colts and the Bears were in the middle of the third quarter. Schefter would fire off the tweet at 9.28 p.m.

There is a report that has been filed. by Adam Schefter of ESPN that Andrew has informed the team of his desire to retire. And in the moments after Schaefter's 38-word tweet went out, the busboys and waiters from the restaurant he was at kept coming up to his table. Is it real? They kept asking him. Is it real? I was in the press box covering the game when my colleague Bob Cravitz hit me across the shoulder and yelled two words I'll never forget. Holy fuck. So it's about the third quarter, if I'm not mistaken.

Pre-season game, who cares? And I saw this tweet. I looked at it and I looked at it and I was like, is this real? It was obviously Adam Schaefter saying that Andrew Luck is going to retire. And I made sure that he had the blue check mark and everything else. And I believe I turned to either you or Stephen or both and said, holy fuck, walked over to Matt Conte, the PR guy, he goes, yeah, I know, I know, I know. He was, he was freaking out.

I will never forget the chaos that ensued. Word was spreading. The PR staff was in an absolute panic, and the shock was starting to trickle down into the stadium. I fired off a flurry of text messages, hoping to confirm the news, hoping for context, hoping for anything. Almost everyone I heard back from was still processing the shock.

of it all. They didn't know either. I've been digging for weeks, trying to get a sense of what was really going on with this calf ankle thing. But rock-solid information was really hard to come by, if not completely impossible. The Colts have always been really tight-lipped about the health of their franchise quarterback, but this was different. Nobody knew a thing. The best I could get from a source close to Andrew Luck, there was some mental hurdle that he was still dealing with. But at no point, not once, did I ever hear anybody mention the word retirement? Shifter's tweet absolutely floored me. It's as shocked as I've ever been in my life.

At one point, a few of the Colts area scouts walked up to me and Holder in the press box, hoping to chat about the game. Game? What game? We asked them if they knew. Know what, they said. So we showed them the tweet. That can't be real, they both said.

I just don't remember a time in recent years covering the NFL, and I've covered the NFL for 30. Even Peter King, who'd spent time with luck at training camp just a few weeks earlier, and who's as plugged in as anyone around the league, had absolutely no idea this was coming. I just don't remember many times when I was as shocked as I was that night when Adam Schaefter reported that news. I never saw it coming. It was a bombshell of bombshells. The fans in Lucas Royal Stadium had found out. Some were shouting down at the sideline asking the players, of which had no idea if Schepter's stunning report was true.

Safety Malik Hooker was one of the players who shouted back at the fans. No, he's not retiring. What are you talking about? He's standing right there. I just remember on the sideline, like, I've never seen somebody frozen. I just remember him telling me, and my face lit up. And I was like, fuck, no way. Like, no way that got out.

Shortly before the booze really started to rain down, Luck walked up to Jacoby Berset on the sideline and told him the news had leaked out. The only thing I heard was his voice And then it got quiet For some reason I just hear fans like What the? Like all that

And I just really got mad And I really was looking back I was like What the fuck like shut up? Like y'all are terrible This dude has really like Given every bone in his body To the city you know

And I just saw it in his face Like he like turned He's already a pale guy He like turned super pale And like he just was like Ready for the game to get over And I know he didn't want to do it like that You know

Even when he told me earlier in a week. He wanted to do it right, you know. Luck addressed the team in the locker room after the game, fighting back tears, stammering through his words. A day later, I asked a few players what that moment was like. It was dead quiet, Darius Leonard told me. Everybody was in complete shock. It was surreal, said offensive lineman Evan Bame.

Like, did he just say retire? My mouth literally dropped open, said running back, Naheim Hines. Now, Luck was planning to do an official press conference the next day. But the Colts knew, after the new, had leaked out, there was no way they could wait. They pushed up the press conference to that night. Matt Conti, the head PR man, printed off Lux notes on a few sheets of paper so he could have something to read in front of the cameras.

A few minutes later, the quarterback lumbered into the interview room at Lucas Oil Stadium. He was in a Colts t-shirt and shorts, his ankle was still wrapped, and his face was worn from the stress of the last few weeks. In a word, he looked exhausted. Hello. This certainly isn't how I envision. this or plan this. But I am going to retire.

This is not an easy decision. Honestly, it's the hardest decision on my life. I'll never forget that press conference. Sitting against the far wall, Andrew's wife, Nicole, just kept wiping away tears. For the last four years or so, I've been in this cycle of injury pain rehab, injury pain rehab, and it's been unceasing and relenting. Frank Reich sat there completely silent. And I felt stuck in it, and the only way I see out is to no longer play football.

It's taken my joy of this game away. Same for Chris Ballard, whose face was red, his emotions evident. He'd known for a week, but in a weird way that night and how it all happened, felt like a gut punch. I've been stuck in this process. I haven't been able to live the life I want to live. Taking the joy out of this game. And after 2016, where I played in pain and was unable to regularly practice, I made a vow to myself that I would not go down that path again.

I find myself in a similar... But I kept my eyes on the billionaire owner slumped in a cheap plastic chair. Jim Mercer's eyes just stared off into the distance, like he couldn't believe this was all real. Come to the proverbial fork in the road. and I made a vow to myself that if I ever did again, I would choose me in a sense. It was seven years earlier he'd made the boldest decision of his half century in the game, cutting the greatest player in franchise history, Peyton Manning,

the man whose nine-foot bronze statue stands outside the stadium so he could draft this prodigy out of Stanford and chase more Super Bowls. And now, impossibly, the luck error was over, finished before the quarterback even turned 30 years old. As a member of this team, and because of how I feel I know that I am unable to pour my heart and soul into this position, which would not only sell myself short, but the team in the end as well. The news was making its way across the NFL, stopping everyone in their tracks, even a few who'd grown close to luck over the years.

Brian Schottinheimer, the Colts quarterback's coach in 2016 and 2017, was now the Seahawks offensive coordinator. He was in Los Angeles coming off the field after a preseason game against the Chargers. Oh, I cried. I mean, I cried because I could see... I mean, you're talking about a guy who rarely would let people see that side of him. I don't know what he was feeling when you're walking in and people are booing you and you've done so much for this franchise, this organization.

And again, they didn't mean anything by. I mean, you know, people react. But it was so heartfelt. It was so pure. I just remember being sad because I knew the NFL was losing an unbelievable player and a great person, but I also knew that I was happy for him because I knew he wasn't walking away unless it was under his own terms. And so I was happy for him that he had figured out what he wanted. Bruce Arients, who'd coached Luck as a rookie with the Colts, was at home in Tampa,

preparing for his first season as the Bucks head coach. Somebody came and said, Andrew Luck retired. It's in no way. And he said, yeah, I was shocked because I knew how much. much it meant to him. I knew he had bad. He had to be hurting to do it. Pagano, Lux head coach for six of his seven seasons in the NFL, was on the opposing sideline in Indy that night, but he didn't find out about the retirement until after the game was over. I mean, it's, you know, one of those things, like, pretty surreal and hard to believe,

you know, and fathom that, okay, he's shutting this, he's really going to, he's going to really do this. And at first, you're like, no, that can't be. There's no way, you know, but then, you know, you listen to them. And can you imagine a hard? And can you imagine a hard. I mean, that had to be. Robert Griffin III, the college quarterback who'd edged luck for the Heisman, then went second behind him in the 2012 draft, was with the Baltimore Ravens, his third NFL team when he heard the news. I immediately, I just kind of stepped out of the moment for a second

and tried to reflect on everything that me and Andrew had been through our quote-unquote careers together in the parallelness of them. and I just thought it was a courageous move by him because it just made me realize that it takes a real man to kind of sit there and say enough is enough. And he wasn't going to do it because people expected him to do it. He was going to not play instead of playing because he was done. David Shaw, Luck's coach at Stanford, was watching the game that night. He'd spoken with Luck just a few weeks before, never getting any indication that his former

quarterback was about to hang him up. I had no idea. And we had talked, he was gung ho about the season. He was gung ho about the team. He just said, you know, this thing just keeps bothering me. I was like, really? He's like, yeah, my calf. It's like bother me. Typical undersell, right? I found it much later that it was, it was extremely painful. He'd done everything that was asked, push it hard, back off, take a break, do this therapy, do this rehab. I'd done it all. And among the other things on his body that were just not, you know, going. And it was painful to hear the booze. It was painful, to be honest, I couldn't watch the press conference.

I don't think I've ever watched the whole thing. I turned it off. Mike Sandow spent two decades at ESPN before joining the athletic. And that Sunday, he canvassed executives and coaches from around the NFL, hoping to gauge the league-wide reaction to luck's stunning decision. No one had seen anything like this in a long, long time. One of the quotes that I got from a coach in the league was when you're a true team leader like he is every day that team practices and you rehab, you feel like you're letting the team down. It's sort of a catch-22.

You get paid the most. You're the best leader. But when do you have to stop the cycle, which is everybody on the team wondering when you're going to play? I think it's probably underestimated how much that weared on him. Not being able to be there for your team is the ultimate thing. for the real guys, you know. And I think people who had been in the league in a long time and knew of him, knew about him, knew that was what was weighing on him.

So his reasons for stepping away were admirable. Completely healthy, Brett Farve makes the Packers wait. He's down to Mississippi. He's taking private jets. He has trouble deciding finally they trade him. Luck was straining through rehab and probably going to all the meetings. He had to face the cameras and get booed instead of keeping it quiet and making the decision after the season if he has to sit out.

This is much more courageous. This is what defines him. Still, not everybody had the same stance. Luck's decision was applauded by some and heavily criticized by others. The stunning retirement announcement that rocked the NFL. Indianapolis Colts quarterback Andrew Luck making a play no one saw coming. At age 29, Luck announcing he is retiring from the NFL. This will go down as one of the most shocking retirements in pro sports history.

shocked I've ever been by any news. And everybody's in my ear. Andrew Lux's retired. Andrew Lux retired. First thing on my mouth, no way. Life is the most important thing, and so is your mental state. I can't believe that in some parts of this country, that's viewed as a hot take. I mean,

what do you expect? He's never living with Peyton, and that's who is supposed to replace. Time to move on to a new player. I mean, you owe it to yourself and you owe it to your family. You don't owe us a damn thing, but this decision, this time of year, hoses everybody. It does. The coach's got to go get Kaepernick or some quarterback because you know Preset is not going to be able to do it.

Here we are talking about the end of his career. It's just one of the out of situations in sports history. Who is most to blame for Luck's early retirement? Andrew Luck plays for the Indianapolis coach. His job is to be quarterback. You are Ryan Grigson. Instead of getting him offensive linemen to protect him, they got him skill position players because they wanted this thing to pick up right where Peyton Manning left off. Andrew Luckin, his first three seasons in this league, took an unholy amount of punishment.

To put him in a position where he was subjected to such putrid offensive lines is inexcusable. I've never seen things quite like the punishment he took. If it wasn't for Pat Mahonstrom for 50 touchdowns, we are talking about the league MVP, and he's walking away. A day later, Colts headquarters received hundreds of phone calls. Some season ticket holders were furious and wanted a refund. The quarterback was out and they were two. Staffers were summoned in on their off day, told to purge Lux's face from everything they could find, promotional banners that would hang outside the stadium, commemorative cups they'd sell on game day,

commercials they'd edited, billboards they'd designed, promos they'd approved. Everything had Lux's face on it, and everything had to be altered. That same afternoon, Colt's second year safety, George Odom, was walking around downtown and enjoying an afternoon off, when he saw this big hulking dude on his bike speeding past him, big beard, big biceps, helmet and sunglasses on. And then Odom realized, holy shit, that's Andrew Luck.

That's how luck spent the first day of the rest of his life. He got on his bike and he went for a ride. He'd make his way to the Coles practice facility later that evening. He cleaned out his locker and he said goodbye to the coaches and staffers that he'd grown so close to over the last seven years. A few weeks later, he made a trip down to a homeless shelter in Indianapolis to donate his old football shoes. Coming up after the break, we'll get into what Andrew Luck is doing now and the reason he left the game. When the Colts moved on from Peyton Manning, they had a plan.

They had the number one overall pick, and at the top of the draft board was this generational talent in Andrew Luck. But with luck retiring, the way he did and when he did, there was no. plan. How could there possibly be? Now, at first, team brass tried to downplay the loss. It was never about one guy, remember? Next man up, all that. And publicly, Ballard said all the right things. The Colts would carry on. Luck's abrupt exit wouldn't sink the season or the future. We will make no excuses, no excuses about how we play, Ballard said a couple days later. We got a good football team. We got a good quarterback in Jacoby Brissette. That's just how we roll. And privately Ballard knew that if he flinched, everybody in the organization would too.

The Monday after Lux's retirement, the GM addressed his entire team. He told his players how much he loved being part of a team and why in moments like this, that was so important. I'm here for you guys, Ballard told them, and we're here to do a job. And I knew in the moment it was going to be difficult going forward. I didn't, you know, I knew it was going to be hard. Now, maybe publicly I didn't say that. I knew it was going to be hard.

But nobody really cares. And I remember talking to the organization and everybody in the organization saying, look, I said, this organization has been really blessed with Peyton Manning and Andrew Luck. I said, okay, now welcome back to the real world. I said, now we're going to have to do it the old-fashioned way. I said, we're going to have to work. And let's build the horse you up and build the best team we can each and every year. still with our sights set on getting a generational player, but they come along sometimes,

you know, once in a lifetime, but you've always got to be ready when that chance happens. The funny thing in all of this is the summer before he retired, Luck and his wife began construction on a new home about five minutes from the Colts practice facility. It's where they live to this day. Luck kept close tabs on his former team, texting Brissette before almost every game, sometimes during the games. I've never forget when he was like, when we were walking out of a room, it was like, I'm retired.

And I'm like, Andrew, you got to give me at least two weeks of, like, picking your brain about this shit. Like, this is your offense last year, not mine. He was like, man, whatever you want, just tell me. And like, I never forget. He gave me all of his notebooks and all this stuff. And, like, he was like, I know I got bad handwriting.

So if you got a question, just call me or text me. He would just text me like before a game. Like, me and Nicole, can't wait to watch your favorite. quarterback play, like, stuff like that, you know, like, just from like a friend standpoint who I took, we had built that relationship to where it was, like, kind of past football. I'll never get some of my best games. He would, like, text me, like, he was texting me during the game. Like, he was one of those guys. He was, like, texted, like, during the game. And I'm just like, this is like, Andrew texting me during the game. And I know, like, he wants to be,

you know, at a certain point, he wants to, like, be there, not even the play, but to just, like, to be the support. And I always wish you would have came to one of the games. So I always, I always thought that I was like I was hoping he would come to the game, but I knew why he couldn't. If it was like a team that I said I needed help, like what'd you think of this team or this team or this player, he would always just like, hey, yeah, I would do this, do that type deal. Brissette and the Colts started out hot in 2019, racing to a 5-and-2 record before fading in December. They'd stumble to a 7-9 finish and missed the playoffs, paving the way for the team to sign veteran quarterback Philip Rivers the following spring.

he'd be the first of three different starters in three years, followed by Carson Wentz and Matt Ryan, that the Colts would add in hopes of filling the spot that luck had vacated. But when it comes to a long-term successor, a player the Colts can build around for a decade. The team is still searching. The one position you cannot, I don't know how long, I can go, just all of you go back and look at first round quarterbacks drafted over the last 10 years. It is not an exact. I mean, everybody just thinks you take one and you're going to fix the problem. Look, taking one will get y'all off my ass for a little bit. But the second that guy didn't play well, I'm going to be the first one run out of the building. I promise you,

we get the importance of the quarterback position. Ballard said that leading into the 2021 draft, the same offseason that Philip Rivers retired. A week or so later, a quarter of the quarter of the According to two team sources, All-Pro Guard Quentin Nelson walked into Ballard's office and told the GM this. We need Andrew Luck back. Ballard didn't know what to tell him. Luck was done. I asked Ballard this summer if he'd ever called up his former quarterback and asked him about a comeback. No, and I've never asked him. I don't, I have too much respect for Andrew.

And I'm not saying we, you know, people haven't talked to him about it. But me personally, this game's too hard. to like not want to be in it 100%. I always figured if Andrew wanted to play, call me and say, you know what, Chris, let's talk. I think I want to play football again. If he didn't call, I'm okay. Like, it's okay.

Like, this is what upset me publicly is that he changed careers. And selfishly, people think that Andrew owes them something. No, Andrew gave this game a lot. When he was done, he was done. We moved forward. And, you know, I know that's hard for some people to accept, but that's what he did.

And, like, there's not been, there's never been one day that I've ever resented him for doing what he did. Not one. I have too much respect for him, who he is, who he stands for, and the things he's going to do in life going forward. And I think he's got an unbelievable wife. and the cold, they're going to do great things outside of the game of professional football. Same goes for Reich, the head coach who grew exceptionally close to Luck during their one season together

and has stayed in touch with him in the years since. I asked Reich if he ever catches himself, wondering how the last three years would have gone if that mysterious calf injury never popped up and Andrew Luck never walked away from football. Well, yeah, I mean, I'd like to say that I'd never thought about that. I'm not absorbed with those thoughts, but those thoughts, you know, like you said, I mean, he was very good player, but he is at such a good spot right now. That's what I'm so excited about for him and Nicole. And he is truly embracing this next stage of his life. And like, everything that he said to us in that transition, it was all real and everything he was feeling. and he's really stayed true that.

There was no replacing Andrew Luck. The franchise quarterback had walked out on them 15 days before the season started. And in the years since, Colts leadership, namely owner Jim Mersey, has been more and more candid about the unprecedented nature of the situation. I don't know. It's hard to understand the enormity that happens when Andrew walks away to me to 29 years old. I mean, it's never happened to you. it's extremely difficult

because it wasn't like we even thought it was possible in June I mean when it happened in late July so I mean it wasn't on our radar even I mean it was a concept

we could believe and then it happened I mean it's not like he thought like oh well you know we got to start possibly preparing because maybe this or that

you know it's going to make this player unavailable for the rest He was clearly for the most part. I mean, that wasn't even just like that. When the season's about to start, that kind of shock to a franchise hasn't really been seen that I had ever remember seeing. Brissette knows there are parts of the game that luck misses. But there's a difference between missing parts of the game and missing the grind of being an NFL starting quarterback.

From talking to him, I think he misses the team part of it, like players and learning and stuff like that. at peace with all the other stuff. Like I told you to get to that point, I know he had to think about it. And I know we've talked about it. And I've been like, shit, if anybody could just pick up and go play football, Andrew, like you're one of them.

Like, I don't think you have to work out for two years and you'll still be fine. And that's probably why Jim Ursa is always trying to see if he's going to come back. But I just always thought, like, at any point he could come back. But now, like, I'm like, he has kids now, wife. Like, he's just, like, super at peace. he's like, he doesn't, like, I wouldn't say he don't give a fuck about it anymore, but he's more so

like, I can, I can get my fix somewhere else, you know, and I'm sure things in his near future are going to, like, reflect that. Colts fans, hell football fans, have this undying fascination with the possibility that one day Andrew Luck might make a comeback. But Luck's college coach, David Shaw, says that fascination with a luck comeback

boils down to the idea of luck, not the person. Those other feelings that a lot of us feel are truly selfish for us, right? Because I wanted to go to his Hall of Fame induction. I wanted to go and watch and put that gold jacket on as he was wearing his three Super Bowl rings. That's the rare air like a guy like him should be in. And that's what kills most of us. We know if he played a few more years, he was going to take that team to the Super Bowl, right?

He was going to break a whole bunch of records. he was going to be one of the iconic guys in this era. You couldn't talk about this era of football without mentioning Andrew. I still don't think you can. But now it's not set in stone that that Goldjack is going to be on his shoulders. But like I said, that's selfish by the rest of us because Andrew's great. He's fine. He knows he did his best.

He knows he raised the franchise. And he couldn't be prouder of the moments that he had. And he's excited about his next moments. What would the NFL look like now if luck never walked away? What if he was still healthy, still carrying the Colts, still throwing touchdowns at Ty Y Hilton, still leading all those fourth quarter comebacks? Daniel Jeremiah, former scout with the Ravens, the Browns, and the Eagles, and now NFL Network's lead draft analysts, saw luck as the bridge between two eras, the link between the greatness of Tom Brady and Aaron Rogers

with the new generation of star quarterback. Yeah, I think that we kind of missed out on the bridge, if this makes any sense. Like I think you had these two eras of quarterbacks. You know, that era that's kind of riding off into the sunset over the last couple of years with the 2004 group, obviously Tom and Aaron, you know, representing kind of that older group that's still going. And then you have this new group that's out there with Herbert and Mahomes and Josh Allen and all the excitement with Lamar Jackson and Kyler Murray.

I feel like it was going to be a, you know, kind of a bridge from that. with those guys from that class, with him and Russell Wilson, we're going to be kind of the bridge from that group to this next group. So I think, you know, that's, I feel like we kind of missed that, that era, those few years. But now we've got kind of this next wave that I don't think his name comes up quite as often because we have this stellar group of young guys. But, yeah, it's, it's a bummer because I think, what is he? He'd be like 32, 33 years old right now.

He could, he could still go for another six or seven years. There's no doubt. in the mind of former Colts linebacker De Quoile Jackson. If luck was to play again, he'd be the most sought-after player in the league. You know, you look at this year's draft, they talk about how it's not a big class of quarterbacks. If Andrew Luck put out a word today that he wanted to come back, all 32 teams will reevaluate who that starting quarterback is right now, without a doubt.

Without a doubt. Not many people can say that. Once you leave the game for a period of time, no matter how great you were, it's like, no, no, It sounds great, but we're going to pass. Not Andrew. Not Andrew. Tom House, the quarterback guru who's worked with Brady and Breeze and dozens more,

puts Lux's physical skills right up there with the best he's ever seen. He had all the pieces, but I think he still has the record for fourth quarter comebacks. Even the length of his tenure as an NFL quarterback wasn't that long. And he's a perfect example of, I don't know if he ever had the zone. defined for you, but the zone is when thinking is inversely proportional to the stimulus of the environment. And he had that same capacity that the elite do, the, the Rogers, the Brady's, the Drew breezes to work. The crazier of the situation, the calmer he got. Again, I've been truly blessed as a kind of an outside consultant coach, be around some of the best, not only in

football, but in baseball and golf. And Andrew is right up there in my top five. Since retirement, luck has become this great mystery for football fans. You rarely see him. You never hear from him. And you read these stories about luck randomly showing up to a high school football field and giving advice to complete strangers. And when he does show his face on TV, it sets social media on fire.

A piece of advice that each of you would give to the starting quarterbacks tonight. would be? Oh, that's a great question. Certainly, limit turnovers. To date, Lux only made a few public appearances in retirement, notably at the college football national title game in Indy this past January. It was the first time he'd walked into Lucas Oil Stadium since the night he retired. There he was in a Stanford polo, a black jacket over it, a thin mustache, and I'd say probably 30 pounds less than his playing days. He was on hand for his induction into the college football Hall of Fame. And before kickoff, he caught up with his old friend, RG3. Can't leave this without asking Andrew. What have you been up to? We haven't seen you.

What are you doing, man? Oh, full-time daddy duty. It's the, and it's been a complete joy. Griffin walked away from that night, more convinced than ever that luck has moved on. He seems to be beyond happy, out of the spotlight. You know, that's, that was never something that he was always entirely comfortable with. So now he kind of just gets to be a dad. And, and live the dad life and tell dad jokes, right? And have fun. And although a lot of people made fun of what he was wearing and his facial hair and whatever, he seemed happy.

And I'm happy for him. Now, luck isn't completely detached from the game. Tevita Pritchard, his old college teammate and the current offensive coordinator at Stanford says that whenever luck makes his way back to the team's practice field, a glimmer of the old Andrew always comes out. When he came to practice, like, yeah, he wants to be in it. Like, he wants to be out. Like he's not going to, he's only going to come to practice if he wants to be out there, right?

So it's like if he is out there, yeah, he wants to know what the play call is. He wants to know how we're reading it, you know, but like that also doesn't mean he wants to get back into it. It just means he decided to be at practice that day. And boy, he's going to be at practice that day. You know, so he's, he's, he's very present, you know. He's just one of those people that like, he does a great job of being present, whether it's in a conversation with a reporter, whether it's in a conversation with a friend, whether

It's playing basketball with 10-year-olds, you know, whatever it is. Like, he's very present. So when he is back, yeah, let's say he's got some of that fire, that intensity. But it's like, because that's where he is for the day, you know. So it's been a joy when he has come back. You know, our guys obviously eat it up. And he's joined our quarterback meetings a couple of times. Our guys have been able to pepper him with questions and whatnot.

But he's phenomenal in those settings, as you would imagine. And every time we get him back is a treat. During those visits to Stanford, Shaw will see a certain level of satisfaction in his former star quarterback. The love of the game is still there, but there's something more powerful overwriting that now. I don't like to use the word happy because I think happy and sad are fleeting things. I think peace, right? I think Andrew feels peace about the football part of his life. He's at peace.

He's comfortable with that. I think for him, the biggest challenge for a guy who's smarter than you and I combined, the hardest part for him is choosing one path because he also knows he's still that same 17-year-old kid I met. Like, whatever he does, he's going to be able to do it at a high level. Now it's with, forget about all the things that have been presented to him, right? There are always people presenting things. Hey, why don't you come in and join us to this?

Hey, what do you think about this? It's for him to say, what is my next challenge? because whatever that next challenge is, he's going to pour himself into. When I met luck for coffee earlier this year, it was obvious to me too, where he was at in life. Again, as I mentioned, he insisted the conversation be off the record, and I'll honor that. But my takeaway from our hour and a half chat was this. His football career very much felt in the past tense. It was apparent he'd moved on.

He was excited about what's coming next, and at no point during our conversation, did I ever get the feeling that a comeback was something he'd ever seriously considered. He's traveled a lot. He's kept in touch with his old teammates, both at Stanford and the Colts. And yeah, he still watches the games, but the main thing dominating his time is being a dad. Hi, I'm Andrew Luck, and this is Larry gets lost at the museum that I'll be reading to you because the Children's Museum of Indianapolis is closed and we're bringing it to you at home. This is Lucy, too. Back in 2020, in the early days of the pandemic, Luck took part in a virtual book reading for the Indianapolis Children's Museum.

In his lap is his baby daughter Lucy, wiggling along as her dad reads from a book. A tiny little train moved up the steep hill while a big one made noise but sat very still. You like trains. And it's fitting that one of the few social media posts that Luck has participated in since retirement involves, reading one of his first loves and his daughter, one of his new loves. Deep underground, he found a lot of rubble. He wanted to play, but he thought he might get in trouble. Look, he's in the tomb. Oh no. Dogs probably shouldn't be in the Egyptian tombs. So after all this, all the interviews, all the reporting, the six episodes you've spent

listening to this series, there remains one last question. Why did Andrew Luck retire so early? It comes down to two things. Perspective and perfection. In a lot of ways, luck was this perfect football player, but he wasn't necessarily a perfect quarterback. As a football player, he never thought he was any more important than anybody else on the field. Luck wanted to take the hit, needed to take the hit,

to show his teammates, to show his coaches, maybe even to show himself that he would do anything to win. But there's a reason quarterbacks don't take the hit. take those types of hits. The pounding wears them down over time. And the list of luck's injuries is brutal to read, even now. Torn cartilage and two ribs that required pain-killing shots for an entire season. A lacerated kidney that left him peeing blood. A partially torn abdomen. Lord knows how many concussions. A torn laborman is throwing shoulder that left him contemplating retirement at the age of 28. And finally, a calf strain that became a calf-strain that became

a posterior ankle and pinchment that sent him into retirement at age 29. Lux's quest to become this perfect football player left him an imperfect quarterback, and it cost him. And the fact that the Colts took six years, six years to get him a decent offensive line certainly didn't help. At the end of the day, football was beaten out of him. It's been tiring. I feel tired and not just in the physical.

In July of 2019, about a month before he stunned the entire football world, luck left us all with this massive breadcrump that at the time didn't seem like much, but it was a real window into how he was feeling. To be the best quarterback I want to be, to help this team, like I want to help him, I can't be, I'm not looking for average, and if I'm going out here with pain, I'll be average. I will feel like an average quarterback and I'll be an average quarterback. That's not good enough for me. That's not good enough for this club.

Luck knew. If he gave the Colts 75%, even 85%, it wouldn't be enough. In his mind, he'd be selling himself short and selling the team short. Still, and this is a question I've asked myself a lot. Why didn't he just wait for the injury to heal? Maybe he could come back later that season. Maybe he could come back the following year. The answer to that question is perspective.

After the shoulder, Andrew Luck saw everything differently. I'll never forget the scene I saw after the Colts playoff loss in Kansas City after the 2018 season. That loss, that day, would be his last game he ever played in the NFL. He exited the locker room with this beaming smile across his face. His fiancé Nicole was waiting for him, and she had a huge smile on her face too. They hugged and they walked out of the stadium arm in arm. you'd never know that his team lost by 18 points that day.

So a few months later, with just the two of us in the hallway at the Colts practice facility, I asked him about that moment. Why the hell were you smiling after a playoff loss? He thought about it for a solid minute, something he never did, and then he gave me his answer. Something I learned last year was that if my worth as a human was going to be tied to how I did, the result of a performance in a football game, that I was going to have, and pardon my French, a real shitty life.

That's what this all came down to. All of it. By August of 2019, after the ribs and the kidney and the concussions and the shoulder and the calf and the ankle, football had made this man miserable. What used to be so much damn fun was now so much agony. And with Andrew Luck, there was always more to life than football. Thanks for listening to Luck. Thank you for listening to Episode 6.

Luck was written and narrated by Zach Kiefer. The executive producers are Mike Smelts and Matt Havia. The Athletics Head of Audio is Andrew Wasserman.