The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - 250 Episodes of Dolls Being Dolls with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: January 20, 2026

Our beloved listeners and wayward souls, we write to you from the glittery halls of memory, where two hundred and fifty episodes now flutter like sequined gowns on a brightly-lit stage of times past. Our hearts are heavy with laughter, saturated with love, and perfumed by a joyous feeling so thick you could spread it like Marmite on toast. Each episode was a bejeweled hour of gossip and grace, where movie reviews unfurled like velvet curtains in a grand cinema of the mind, and our voices learned, again and again, how to harmonize bite with tenderness, snark with sincerity, and spectacle with soul. Yet betwixt the comedy, there were seasons of rain tapping their impatient nails against the chalkboard of our lives, a recurring guest star who refused to be written out, summoning with it an evil chorus of black mold. Through spores silently multiplying, dehumidifiers humming like a Viennese choir, and the sound of us constantly googling mold remediation companies in the greater Los Angeles area, we loved, we laughed, and we proved that fun can be had regardless of the state of one's drywall and keepsakes. Let these past 250 episodes serve as weathered love letters to you all, damp at the edges but radiant at the center; forever echoing with the sound of two queens dancing in the rain like everyone is watching. Thanks for the past 250, and we can't wait for the next 250. To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, head to: https://Hims.com/BALD Refresh your wardrobe with Quince! Now available in Canada, too! For free shipping and 365-day returns, go to: https://Quince.com/BALD Get your gut going and support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual’s Synbiotic+. For a limited time, save 40% on your first month at: https://Ritual.com/BALD This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off at: https://BetterHelp.com/BALD Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT⁠⁠⁠ To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipYT⁠⁠⁠ Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast⁠⁠⁠ If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com⁠⁠⁠ To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://trixieandkatya.com/#tour⁠⁠⁠ To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemotel.com⁠⁠⁠ Listen and Watch Anywhere! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast⁠⁠⁠ Follow Trixie: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemattel.com⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@trixie⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠ Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠   Follow Katya: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.welovekatya.com⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/welovekatya⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠   #TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi, Diva's Katya here. While Miss Pink is out getting hair plugs, I want to kindly remind you that we are going on tour. I go through hell doing ads about going on tour. The very bald and very beautiful tour will be heading to such lovely places like Chicago, Toronto, and Boston maybe. For tickets and more, head over torixie and Katia.com. Thank you, fat. Ooh, queen. Hi, everybody. We need to address the antelope in the room. Yeah, what is that? It's my primary abuser. Oh, is this the incident? You should have had your wig on. I may have protected by a wig. No, I did not have my wig on.

Well, it's at home. Usually don't do wigs at home. Do you see that? Yeah. No. Oh, shit. Ripped off. Wait a minute.

Did that break off when it hit you? It sure the fuck did. Yeah. Oh my God. So it was up. This is like 20 pounds. It was up like. Yeah, maybe 15.

15. Okay. Maybe 12. I don't know. It was heavy. But it was like up, like imagine. Kind of creeps me out. Oh, yeah.

It's really creepy. Also. Oh, no. Oh, wait. Oh. Oh. Oh. And that thing is dead and it didn't.

That thing doesn't even know that it's a star now. A star is born. So, gross. I had to get a tennis shot. I had to get stitches. I have a lovely scar. You know I'm gay. Why do you think I gave a shit about you and your taxidermy when you have these shoes on?

Let's see the shoes. Holy shit. I love these. Maybe get the shoes. good that she was Rochester, New York. Really cute. Aren't they fun? Really cute.

You know, because I'm getting... With some taps on them. Baby. I, if every cell in my body was incorporated not to rhinestone them. Why would you do that? They look great on their own. Because I'm a fag. I guess, but you wouldn't have worn them.

You wouldn't have worn them. You wouldn't have worn rhinestone shoes. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not that, maybe I'm not that gay. Maybe I'm not that gay. But, you know, because I am older, getting older. And I'm sort of like, I'm at a crossroads.

We're actually I'm overdue to be at this crossroads. Are we going to talk about your personal style? No. Oh. We're just talking about... I wasn't going to talk about it. I had nothing to say on the subject. Go on.

I need to be... You know, after 40, you should... One often, you know, thinks about slacks rather than jeans. But and downs, but... You know what I mean? Like maturing up your... So this is about personal style. Yeah, theoretically.

I agree. Because at a certain point, I like, I don't know. I'm at a point where I'm like, when you're my age and you're bald, a t-shirt doesn't hit the way you think it does. Well, at the gym it does. At the gym, it does. At the home it does. But in general, I don't know. What do you feel about a super oversized t-shirt with the shoulder off and no panties on?

At home? Yeah. It reminds me of the mom and Poultergeist, which isn't like that jersey. Yes. Love Poultergeist. I love Poultergeist. What's her name? I'm Joan,

the mom. Oh, Angelina Jolie. Joe Beth Williams. Joe Beth Williams. Joe Beth Williams. And Craig C. Craig C. Nelson.

Craig T. Nelson. And what is the Craig C. Riley? Who's that? John C. Riley. Oh, fuck. Craig T. Nelson. Carolan? Daddy's going to give you a spanking.

Boner. Instant boner. T and Gina. Katelyn. Boner. Oh. Oh, no. Was that you?

Oh. People who know where I am right now. Yeah. Text to me. Can you talk? Well, yes, you can to me. I'm about here literally keeping these lights on.

Thank you. And speaking of lights, I have sunglasses on because they have two black eyes. Oh, that's tough. What happened? I don't want to talk about it. Right. I'm just kidding. I don't have two black eyes.

The reveal. Yeah. Imagine if there were no eyes underneath. What's going on, Mary? I love those glasses, by the way. Oh, thank you. I'm on the TikTok shop. What is this tick?

I don't want to know about it. it's this beautiful union of me, me high, me on a gummy. Is it Timu? Me in a gummy and me seeing something and saying, hey, and you know what the real? For people like me who have no personal style, it's, it's my, my, um, catalyst is if I see a bald person in an outfit and they look half, they only look half stupid, I'm like, maybe that could happen for me. Yeah.

Because the thing about being bald is, you got to stay in your lane. You got to know that everything with a bald haircut changes. I know. I can't relate anymore. There's no boy next door. that's bald. That boy is sick. I was going to say a Jimmy fund. Right. In a movie, like the boy next door who's bald.

Is powder or has cancer? Right. Yes. Or a lovely monk, the golden child. I think what you do, the kind of gothy thing, I think bald or not bald is great. Yeah. When you're alternative, you can get away with a lot. Oh my God. Because you don't want to be Jeff Bezos.

You don't want to be Jeff Bezos. No. Did you say mustache? I would sooner and alive. I love mustaches. You do. Love it. It's an immediate launch.

It's immediate, yes, for me. So do you think, how many, how many notches up the hot skill does a man go when he rocks a mustache? I'm sorry, does it depend? A full click. Really? A full notch. Absolutely. Interesting.

Can you give an example? Superman. Which one? Which one? Christopher Reeve? No, the needle Superman. Henry Cavill. Yes.

When he had a mustache, it was like, well, now we're, now we took, we took chocolate cake, rich, Bruce Bogtrodot, chocolate cake and we dumped cocaine on it. And so we're sniffing and eating. We're boofing. We're boof. We're completely boofing. Speaking of Superman. Did you see the woke Superman?

Did David Corn Sweat one? Corn Sweat? Corn Sweat. His last name is Cornswet. Corn Sweat. C-O-R-E-N-S-W-E-T. I loved it. Mary, that man is talk about, I mean, I don't know about the movie.

I love Nicholas Holt. Love him. Oh my God. Nicholas Holt. Can I say, I know we don't have guests anymore? Nicholas, you better come on the YouTube channel. Yeah. I love him.

I've loved him in everything. Me too. He's one of my celebrity crushes. Warm bodies, eight. X-Men, eight. Superman, eight. Nospheratu, eight. Chomped.

Yeah. The world doesn't seem to be receiving Frankenstein. Frankenstein? I don't, when we saw it early, Katina, and I saw it super early, I thought it would be like what heated rivalry is. Well. No one's like changing their Twitter bio to

to Frankenstein movie. You know, I think because we enjoyed it in that, you know, we get the movies like that, like, you know, I care a lot. That chopped up was so cunt. I watched the whole thing. Not as quite. Brangesteine? No, I'm saying, like, when we watch a movie on Netflix, we get the clip show. I love it.

So all we got was cunty me a goth outfit after cunty me a goth outfit after beautiful set piece after beautiful set piece. Right. But like, just in terms of the story, I don't know. Yeah. But I mean, those outfits every time. she was on screen, you're like, can I jump into the future a little bit? We just filmed this video yesterday.

Okay, remember we had Luscious on this pot? Yeah, yeah. Luscious Masker, you guys remember icon legend the best? Don't do her, remember how she said, you said, well, you do my makeup, but she said, I'll do you, but it's like a little one too. Remember she said, I'm going to get you

in and out of the makeup station in 30 minutes? Yeah. Remember she said, like, the girls are spending too much time doing makeup? Yeah. I did a video yesterday where I said, I'm going to take 30 minutes. I put a timer on my iPhone,

and I said, I'm not just going to like stop at 30. I'm going to make sure every step is done in 30 minutes. Cunty. Not Cunty. Beautiful. Fine. Good.

Good even. Check it on YouTube. You guys, I couldn't believe it. And now I'm like, remember how we've talked about when you rush an hour face, 45 minutes? You're like,

damn, what have I been doing? Now that I've touched 30 and been like, I mean, I finished in 25 and had five minutes to go blend and like, oh, touch things up. Yeah, yeah.

Well, we do like, bald and the beautiful, those big stages and no meat and greed. I'm kind of like... Well, here's the thing, though. I like to... I like to... I like to...

I like to relax, have a little cocktail. Do you take my time? Camarra Hall. Eight hours. Mary. It's actually... What about Jake's monsoon? She does the...

First thing she does the... The paint by numbers. She does like a marine layer. She does like the Earth's mantle, the crust. You know what I mean? She's doing like... She's color blocking. pouring foundation.

Blends it all out. And then... starts. She takes like Mabel. I think Jinks, you can you can correct me if you remember how to use your phone. I think she, when she came over my house, I think she used Mabeline Dream Matt Mose. Do you know about this product? I sure do.

That hockey puck a blast. I sure do. And I love Mabeline. We both have Mabeline Fit Me Foundation on today. Yeah, and I have it and I'm, well, you can't see mine because it's underneath. It's on the, did that bump ever go away? It did, right? Excuse me. Remember the ingramed chair? I can you bring that up right now? From uh.

Um, um, oh, Huge bump. Oh yeah. Huge. Was it herpes? Was it ingrown hair? No, that was a, that was a fucking devastating ingrown hair. Devastating.

Remember how? It was purple. Fucking disgusting. Mary, it was, because underneath the surface, you know the evil lies underneath. It's a twisted root of a tangled hair. Disgusting. The fruits of the devil. There is a, I have chronic pain.

There is a release. There's something diabolical about being in drag and your base level. is not 100% healthy. Because mama. If you're sick, if you're in pain, everything all sucks. If you're at 100% you get into drag, you're down to 30%.

Down to 30%. You are in pain. Yeah. That's the, I was just talking about this with somebody. It's like, with Fina, it was like you, the paradox of drag is that

the more, you know, as the steps progress and you become this cuntified version of yourself, the comfort level degrades so drastically that it's at odds with that feeling. For sure. You know what I mean?

And you start to lose the best. battle. Yes. The pain starts to overtake the awareness that you're this hot bitch. Yeah. Especially with movement too. Like if you are corseted and padded and then wigged, like you're not like Twyla Tharp. You can't do Lucinda Childs. No, you can't do

Alvineli. You're like, I, you know, I'm doing all the music festivals this year. Some of them have been announced, but I'm doing a bunch of them. And some of them are in the summer, like in the south. I don't know why you do this year. But I called Amy my costume and I said, listen. Because originally we were going to do for the show, a boostier with a sculpted cups and stuff that we would like pin things on for quick changes.

And I called her and said, I just don't think. So Bonaroo. Bonaroo is in Tennessee in the middle of summer. Why the fuck would anybody do that? Why? So I called her and said, I just don't think we can put me in a corset in like a hundred degrees outside. What you can do? Get one of those Japanese cooling suits.

They exist. They exist. for workers of wearing these Japanese cooling suits in Japan. What? Oh yeah, baby. Look it up. Google it. It's the thing. Also, to the point of sweating, I have a revelation that I would love to share with you. What is it? So, I had a gig. I guess I can't talk about it right now, but a wonderful, like, dream gig. TV. TV gig.

I don't want to say anything, but we both got the TV gigs of our lives. Yeah, we both booked TV gigs on shows that we not only love, but that are objectively incredible. We only got the jobs from years of saying how much we like it, which is so much better than auditioning. I have to say, just beg to be on things. Don't audition. No. Just at every turn, cheat out to the camera and say how much you love the show. That's the move.

I was invited to be on the show. Because I said no. I'm just kidding. They wrote a part for me, Mary, and I memorized the lines. I did. Anyways, but I went to a costume fitting. And then I was like spiraling because the outfit was so incredibly hot. So it's like, it's over.

It's over. It's absolutely over. So I went to go get out my stitches. You start crying. I almost did. I went to go get my stitches out at that fucking crazy concierge place. And I said, hey, baby. Hello, Ms. N.P. Nurse practitioner.

I did a little Googling this morning. What do you think about glycopyrolate? She's like, what? She went and did a little Googling. There is a medication that anesthesiologists use during surgery to help stop secretions in the body. So in the off label used for this is it stops. sweating. You stop sweating. I was like, this sounds too good to be true. She sure did write me a script for that and I picked it up two hours later. It worked. Baby, were you hot still? I was hot.

So yeah, here's the thing. I went to the gym the night before to test it out. I was going, I'll go work out, go in the sauna, see what the tea is. It didn't work. It didn't really work that much. But if you are not exerting yourself, it's for event specific hyperhydrosis. Like if you have a business meeting, for example, and you are sweating buckets. This could be great for my panic attacks. No, no, no, I mean, we are you joking? No, I'm serious. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sweating is a symptom of like an anxiety attack. Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, you know how a lot of people are just like, they get crazy, sweaty hands? They got to shake hands with people. It's like a huge liability. What is it? Hyperhydrosis. Hyperadrosis.

Yeah. And that's when your, your balls are so big. And purple with saline. Yeah. And they drag behind you. Yeah, yeah. Is the snail trail kind of effect? Are your nipples wired?

Are they? you always you never answer because when people want to touch my nipples sexually it does nothing it's like Mary I feel like I let them down because they love to touch the nipple

and be like isn't that intense and I'm like Like you might as well just like suck on a brick wall It's the same thing Right Suck on a brick wall bitch I have a friend who if you if you like

If you blew in his nipples He would just jizz all over the place It's like nice isn't that nice It's always a sober guys Oh damn TikTok TikTok But wait, so I took the medication and got to take it on an empty stomach.

Very important. Very important. Very important. Side effect, dry mouth. Very dry mouth. So took the med, did the scene. And there was, I was a little bit physical at the end of the scene. Vina comes over. She's my assistant. She goes to blot me. There's nothing to blot. Oh, interesting. Are you going to use this at Netflix? We don't sweat at Netflix. No, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, we're literally just... Well, so I can't use it in the club because it's because I'm moving around. I'm like, you know what I mean? That's what I'm worried about your body having an adverse effect if it can't sweat.

Well, so that's the danger. You can overheat. Yeah, that's what I would worry about. But not when you're on a TV set, not really moving around for a limited amount of time. And this is the perfect scenario. Well, I mean, think about it. Like, imagine you're given a TED talk and you're terrified. Right. And there's hot lights and you're in a sequin catsuit.

I would take it for that. I have a real question. If you could give a TED talk, first of all, would you go to the TED Talks if you could? Would you go to the, to watch them? It depends on who's talking. A single drop of blood. Would you do, what would you give it on today? Today I would give it on.

That's a good question. I would give it on. No, I would give it on. No, I would give it on... Recording 250 episodes of the... Oh, my God! No, I would... I would... I would... I would...

I would... Wait, let's go back to that. Congratulations, by the way. Let's celebrate that. Mary... Congratulations for the win at the Golden Globes on Best Podcast. Oh, my God. I couldn't believe it. I was so...

I was shocked. Can I be honest? I was shocked. You know? Y'all can make fun of me. I believed we could be nominated. I don't care if that's delusion. I believe.

even us. Shoot me in the head, bitch. No, no, no. Millennial optimism right here. I'm happy when I'm already for Gladaboard. I lost it for Tricks and Motel, I think, three years ago. We're going together. There's strength the numbers.

This is the two I think we got to take down. Maybe. I think we got to take Luskulch down at the knees. Yeah. You know? Yep. And now Bowen has quit S&L so he needs the work. And then Caleb Heron, who's fucking funny and nice.

I'm going to have to push him down a hill. That's okay. So these are the three people we're going to have to take out. Amy? Oh, no, we got to take out Amy too. Both of Las Colch. And then Caleb. And Amy.

And I think that we could scoop the glad award. Bob the drag queen has like 16 glad awards. Can you and I get one? Thank you. And why are there two A's in that word? Glade. Glad. What is, gay, lesbian and.

Alcoholics Anonymous. Divorcees. Gay lesbian, alcoholic anonymous. Divas. This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Hymns. In these dim and frostbitten days of winter, when the sky hangs low like a weary velvet curtain and every sunbeam feels like a forgotten rumor, we're reminded that darkness is never the final act.

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Hems.com slash bald. Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required to see website for details, restrictions, and important safety information. As 2025 was coming to a close, and folding itself into the quiet satin of winter, I found myself ascending toward the Schaftberg Mountains with a few close friends, seeking an Austrian New Year's Eve that felt less like a countdown and more like a rebirth.

We had booked to Shelley on Airbnb, one of those guest's favorites complete with a little badge that whispers, I'm one of the most loved homes on Airbnb. And the moment we stepped inside, it felt like poetry carved into timber, a haven of warm light and generous space where each room breathed its own soft blessing. There was privacy for all of us, yet a great room where we gathered like pilgrims around a glowing hearth, sharing stories that drifted upward like sparks into the alpine dark. In a hotel, bedtime often means surrendering your night to the rhythms of strangers. But at this gorgeous chalet, our evenings unfurled slowly, with one friend drifting off

early while the rest of us stayed awake. Each night we gathered like a festive board meeting around the fire, steaming mugs in hand, mesmerized by the picturesque view of the mountains. In the mornings, we cooked breakfast that tasted richer simply because we shared them around an actual table, not perched on the edge of a hotel bed balancing a flimsy tray. One day we wandered the frost-laced trails, watched the sun strike the peaks in rose and gold, and felt that rare sense of being in a place rather than merely passing through it. There was room for everyone to stretch, to breathe, to feel like themselves.

We laughed in the living room rather than whispering in a nondescript lobby. And the location itself felt truly special, tucked away in a part of the mountains that offered authenticity instead of the usual tourist bustle. And now, as winter softens and my thoughts leap ahead to my next escape, I already know I'll be booking with Airbnb again.

This spring I'm headed to the Bahamas, yearning for bright skies and turquoise water, dreaming of riding a scooter around an island while sampling the local cuisine. The warm island breezes will comb through my hair like a gentle blessing. And I want that same sense of space and privacy, that feeling of being welcomed by a thoughtful host in a place that feels personal and perfectly my own. Because the trip becomes something more when your stay feels like part of the story. And when you book a stay through Airbnb,

every journey feels like it's being written just for you. Your next adventure awaits. So we're going to do that because I'm going on the show with you. Is it here in L.A.? Okay, so Katie and I are nominee for a Glad Award. And we will be attending that ceremony dressed to kill. I honestly, when I saw like Caleb in Los Cultures, I was like, this is a hard thing to win. It's hard to win.

I disagree. 250 episodes prove, yeah, so what? They got Lady Gaga. No, this was me. They got Tina Fey. I got nominated for a Gladdor a couple years ago and I went. And to me, I think if I go and drag that maybe I'll win, I think there's good karma to that. If we both show up dressed to kill.

I'm talking really murder. We're going to murder people there. Well, this is not this award show, but there's some award shows that are smaller, the ones that I get invited to, where if you show, you do have a higher chance of winning. Also, and they kind of almost tell you that. Yeah, they're like, hey, we'd really love to see you. Yeah, are you going to be coming? It might be really good for you to come.

Yeah, and you probably want to sit near the front and wear some comfortable shoes. Right. So I would love for us to win a lot of award. And I'm sad we didn't win the Golden Globe. Because when we were nominated, most people would have thought that means you're probably We're not going to win, but I thought there still could be a chance. I was, I mean, I, I've never felt so shocked and betrayed in my whole life. Amy won.

Amy won. Amy Polar. Shout to Amy Polar. Yeah, whatever. No, just kidding. Great, great pod. I love that when she talked to Gwenith Houcher about what time they love to go to bed and eat dinner. I just saw Gwyneth.

Not in person. I saw her in a movie. Wait, it wasn't a movie. Marty Supreme? It was a documentary. It was about that woman. What? It was orgasm ink, that documentary about the woman who, um, what was it?

called, or what was the company called? Susan Powder? No, I watched that too. We did talk about both of these. Okay. I'm sorry, I love Gwynne. I love Gwyneth Paltrow. I'm on the Gwyneth Train again. Orgasm Inc. Okay, one taste. One taste was this company where I'm not kidding. Now some of you trigger warning, grape, grape, grape. So that sounds dispositive. I didn't mean it like that. Rape. This is a documentary talking explicitly about lines being blurred at a sex positive company. Oh shit. What company?

What are they selling? It's called One Taste and it was started by this woman and her whole thing was like spirituality and being connected to the universe and the power of the female orgasm. So people would pay money to show up to seminars where she would like talk about like kind of MLM style like the self, your success, whatever. And then she would get a woman on the table, take the pants off and some guy would stand over and do this and make her come in front of everyone. Okay.

It was always guy on girl. Okay. And then at a certain point, there's cult elements. They're putting a snake on people. They're wearing hoods. They're jerking it off. And then at a certain point, the only people paying to come were mostly men. So then the women who work at the company are like, I guess I'll go to the class today and get jerked off.

Kind of crazy. Really crazy documentary. That's wild. I mean, I wouldn't take a sex workshop unless it was given by Annie Sprinkle. Who's at? She's a sexologist, Eco. She's a performance artist who does. like she did a fun thing

called a public cervix announcement. She makes love to the earth. She's really amazing. Huge boobs, wonderful person. What about like a passion party being thrown by Condoleezza Rice? What about if you went to a living room passion party and it was Condoleezza Rice and she brought her

dildos and was just like, let's go girls. Then she tickled the Ivries and spoke Russian because you know she can do that. There is a special time that I feel like we missed out as adults because we weren't women and we're not like passion parties. Passion parties What are you talking about passion? Passion parties

I don't know what those are Tell me, tell me, what is it? In small town USA like where I'm from Like Tupperware parties? Yes, but they're not selling Tupperware. Yes. Oh, baby. So the women come over and then somebody's like

Sassy friend. Right. Oh, I know. I know what you're like ladies, you're not coming enough. Yeah. And then we're shabbit out. Yes. Yeah.

Hook it up to the generator. So this is kind of chattering teeth. It's sex based business self-positivity vibes. But it's like a performance of sex in a room. That's a perfect storm. So yeah, it was a, and the people who used to work for this company in the documentary were

very forthcoming and very blatant about what they experienced. It was a very shocking documentary. It was crazy. Nothing eats, nothing touches, nothing touches the Susan Powder documentary. Right. Nothing has ever touched it. I mean, are you old enough to remember her on the TV? No, never heard of her my life.

Oh, I was there. Oh, I was there. And obviously the insanity did not stop. No, I mean, I'm very, very, We're kindred spirits. She's, I think, driving Uber in L.A. or in Las Vegas.

Driving Uber's. Yeah. The Stop the insanity was huge. Huge. It was really interesting because she was like, I have no issue working. I have no issue driving Uber. You got to work.

When she was younger, her managers and agents, etc., all took at least half of what she made and they own the name Susan Powder. So there's a scene where she's on the website, looking at Susan Powder Fitness items. She's like,

I don't get any of this. that's my name. None of this goes to me. Brianna, that's why she don't make no music. It was so... Obviously, this woman was traumatized by all this happening to her.

And Jamie Lee Curtis produces it. And they get together, and of course they're crying, right? And I'm crying, because these two women are crying. And Jamie Lee Curtis is like, I've always thought if anyone would play her it'd be me.

I was like, do it tomorrow, bitch. Do it tomorrow. But I need to see Jamie Lee Curtis as Susan Powder driving Uber in a feature film. Yeah. It was a great movie. And I hate stories about like, like when I read Michelle Visage's book and she talked about seduction, her touring for years and actually leaving seduction in debt, they took all her money.

Michelle never got anything. Michelle carried the costumes and steamed them for everyone. She was opening for Millie Vanilly for years. Stadiums. Michelle had, I think she said she got less than $1,000 a month per pay. It's unbelievable. The music is so evil. And they made these, the first successful interracial grail.

group, they made these women feel like you're so lucky to be here. You're a star. Don't worry about the money because you're just so lucky to be here. I've heard that before. Michelle just ended a huge run with that band with no money. Years of her life. It's so fucked up.

And also like just the dissonance of like performing the stadiums and like. Yeah. Do you guys want to go in on some Cheetos later? Like it's crazy. Do you think about touring? I do. Lately hell tour. lately, I don't know what's wrong with me.

Lately, I really miss touring, like, a scripted show with you. A scripted show? I like fantasies about doing Tracing Katia Live again. What about, um... Is that crazy? The word is fantasy. This is... I'm not saying I'm gonna do it.

Is she... But you know what I miss? I miss the body microphone. I miss being backstage us all in the costumes. Talking about what we had for lunch and then we just go out there and do it. I miss the curtain coming down and you're doing that. And then people scream in. I missed that.

Yeah, yeah. And you know what I also got, which I didn't deserve. I got to walk in that show first. And I got to stand on stage alone and get the first clap, which... Baby, I love that. It was amazing. And then you come out and it's a double clap. But see, I love being second fiddle.

That's my role. You're not second fiddle. No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm in McMahon. You're not second ferville. You're Johnny Carson. I'm a piccolo. Light, dainty, cuts through. I'm a tuba.

I'm an obo. You're an obo. You're an obo. Yeah. I love obo. If you're going to sit here and talk shit about double-reated instruments. Bassoon? Do they have the thing that goes like that?

Yeah. Love bassoon. Girl, can I tell you something? I think I've told you this before. Who cares? When I was in school, we had to go to something called music convocation. Every Friday, every music student had to go to the amphitheater and watch some area of the music department play a show. Maybe this week it's singers. Maybe next week it's a string quartet. It's fine. It was zero credits. You had to go. It's every Friday at noon. Whatever. One week, it was around Halloween. And it was Bassoon Convo. and you guys, bassoons are just funny sounded.

Oh, yeah, you've told me this. No, no, keep going. I forgot it. No, fuck me. I think it's... No, I actually maybe, I don't know. I'm going to see if I can hear it. Was it like, was it a...

Yeah, yeah. Well, I want to try to find the bassoon sound. Because if people don't know, it's just a funny fucking sounding instrument. It's here. Let's hear a bassoon. It's a fart. It sounds like farting. It's too funny.

I love that. It's like farting. So you're hungover, you're 19... And it was how long as a little. and they walked out with Halloween masks on. That's right. That is so. Beard.

They sat and guess what song they played? What? Take me out to the ball game. That's right. I could not handle it. That's so fierce. I was like, is this real? That's great.

We should do that. Play bassoon? No, do you take me out to the ball game for our next show. Take me out to the bald game. The bald game. Take me out. I'm a ball gay. Love.

My winter retreat to a seclude. chalet in Quebec's Charlevoix region was the perfect way to ring in the new year. The chalet had a beautiful deck opening to a view of the frosted evergreens as we grilled in the wintry air and toasted the arrival of 2026. There was even a hot tub outside underneath a canopy of trees where we'd relax for hours and talk about our goals and expectations for what lies ahead. The entire trip felt like wandering inside a snow globe and staying in this gorgeous home I booked on Airbnb

was the pause that I didn't know I needed. We spent our days snowshoeing through birch forests and taking in the sights along the St. Lawrence River as the snow glowed beneath the afternoon sunshine. Somewhere in that hush, it struck me. My home is sitting empty. Why not hosted on Airbnb while I'm away? Especially since my next spring adventure is a trip to Spain for two weeks, where I plan to buzz along volcanic cliffs in a tiny Renault, stopping for Papasaragudas and fresh island seafood. Hosting is really about making small dreams at home possible, like finally up.

updating my hardwood floors. A little extra income from hosting could help me get there. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health, from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment

offers a physician-led, full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today and may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. A healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan, live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started.

My winter retreat to a secluded chalet in Quebec's Chalvoix region was the perfect way to ring in the new year. The chalet had a beautiful deck opening to a view of the frosted evergreens as we grilled in the wintry air and toasted the arrival of 2026. There was even a hot tub outside underneath a canopy of trees where we'd relax for hours and talk about our goals and expectations for what lies ahead. The entire trip felt like wandering inside a snow globe and staying in this gorgeous home I booked on Airbnb was the pause that I didn't know I needed. We spent our days snowshoeing through birch forests

and taking in the sights along the St. Lawrence River as the snow glowed beneath the afternoon sunshine. Somewhere in that hush, it struck me. My home is sitting empty. Why not hosted on Airbnb while I'm away? Especially since my next spring adventure is a trip to Spain for two weeks, where I plan to buzz along volcanic cliffs in a tiny Renault, stopping for papasaragudas, and fresh island seafood. Hosting is really about making small dreams at home possible, like finally updating my hardwood floors. A little extra income from hosting could help me get there. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca. Hi, we are Dan and Phil. And hard launch is our mail podcast.

We call it a male podcast. About the power of living your truth. We're better than that, honestly. Well, it's mostly us accidentally spilling scandalous info about our past dating lives. True, and getting into inappropriately domestic arguments about it. After 16 years on YouTube, we decided to hard launch our relationship, and now we are emboldened to overshare with you. So you might have seen us on Grindr this week.

My ex texted me. What? He did. I have a confession. I completely thought you catfish me when we first met. Join us every Monday on hard launch with Dan and Phil. Hard Mondays, start your week hard. Sorry.

I keep walking by your old house. I know you to. Oh my God, my God. This used to be my playground. I take a picture every time. I don't know why. Do you know that that, that's so weird, you said that song. Because when you sent me that picture, it was like,

this used to be my playground. Used to be. I literally had the whole league of their own montage in my mind. I thought about. I thought about driving home. Like, it's like, oh, it's like 5.45. The sun's about to set fucking cranking it up, El Contento. Yeah.

Picking off a pedestrian. Oh, it's beautiful that time of day. It's amazing. Charging up to the top deck to goon at that fucking set. It's just so beautiful. From the street, I could see your old pergola, and it's just bathed in sunset light. I was like, that is, that's end of life care up there. All those gore.

And on your way up, you get all those different flowers, like, always live. in bloom at different times, all these different species. Some great yards up there. Difficult parking, but some really pretty yards up there. No parking. No parking. No sidewalks. You want to get hip, you want to get hit by a car? Go up there. Yeah. Do you want to, do you want to, you know what? I love, my favorite thing was counting how many fucking stupid rich fuchs would wear head-to-to-to-black, walking their dogs in the middle of the street at night.

With a black dog. With a huge black lab. On a 40-foot leash. And not just black, but let's say, um, that'll fit the color of the pavement. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And full makeup, the color of the pavement. Laying down with stripes, pin or crap. I mean, these people want to be hit. It's, and then...

Jumping out from Bushers. And then when you, when you come up on them, the audacity. They have their headphones in. The headphones in. The headphones, Mary. I know. Headphones in the ear. It's fierce.

She wouldn't get out of the Cocker Duty Street. You know what I do when I'm up there? I have the, um, the metaggoggles that have the glass. It's the glasses with the open ear speaker. Okay. So you can hear the street in the world. I do my ghetto blaster, my boombox. Do you?

No, I'm just kidding. Oh, I love the JBL. That's the GBL that's the clip for like going for a walk. That's noise pollution. You think? People do it at the reservoir and I think it's kind of cute. It's noise pollution. It's noise pollution.

You think? I do. Okay. I mean, imagine the subway. That's different. That's different. But, okay, so memories, memories, memories. I was going to say, you know what you need to do.

But you need to go up there like Jennifer Lopez. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where she goes, I used to live here. Yeah. And the guy goes, oh, you did. Okay, bye, lady. And he's like, who are you?

What's your name? And she was like, Jennifer. And he's like Lawrence or no, he doesn't say anything. But you should go up there and be like, I used to live here. And they're going to be like, yeah, we always wondered who lived here. We saw the shit stains. It took forever to get them out. Why did you do that to the yard when the interior looks like this?

Mama, not to put them on blast. I hear they're very lovely, the people who live there now, very lovely. I hope they enjoy it. It's a great house. So the. I, you know what? I drive every once in a while because they used to go to my friend's house

in the hills. I would drive by a little, you know, very slowly and then drive again, drive by very slowly. Just two at the time today. Pull in the driveway. Yeah.

Run the car. Just like, I peeked inside a few times but the windows are open. Do you ever go use your old shower just for all time's sake? What if they came home when you were like exercising?

What if they came home and I was Sprite Eagle naked on the percolon? I wish when you sold a house there's a sunset provision. Like you can use the house half time for a year. Oh, yeah. You can have the house.

But mama, that pergill is mine. Also... I come with the house. Free gift. But also, like... Well, the thing is, from my neighbor, I've heard that they're so nice. I could... If I asked them, I could go...

I'm sure they'd invite me over to sleep over for a week. Crazy. Straight couple. Anyways. The way that I'm so rueful and nostalgic about this place, I can't even... I weirdly... I can not be overstated. I can understand it because when I walk by it, it feels like your house.

I don't know how to describe it. I'm like, someone lives in her house. The way that I love... I love... I mean, there was many things about that place that sucked. A, there's no square footage. B, there was no sidewalks. Right.

You could not walk anywhere. Right. Totally car dependent. Very car dependent. I mean, no, 100%. I moved to America's second largest city, so I have to take a 15-minute car ride to a CBS. Like the moment I bought that house, I had to buy a car. Right.

I had to. There was no other choice. So now contrast with my current living situation, which I'll give you a lovely update on, continue to hate it with all my heart and guts and soul but wait wait so you know I told you I was reading the moisture reader wrong oh yeah

well you weren't I got it right one day so so I was a little bubbling a little bubbling in the studio they cut a fucking hole in the wall they cut a hole through the drywall wet dripping

black mold the return game on bitch the sequel So I've got four giant deafening fans and dehumidifiers going 24-7 for the next four days. I'm sure that my neighbors are not like, I don't think they're in love with me.

I think they're like so in love with me because I must be the best neighbor they have ever had. You know, the hammering, the sawing, the fans. You know what? I'm going to stop you right there because in my old place, my neighbor, when I first moved in, I go, oh my God, you're in. I'll make up the number.

You're in 10.01. I'm 10.02. I'm your neighbor. Oh, yeah. She's like, oh. She was like, oh, you're going to be done with your. They're hammering every night. You better believe. I am the only person this building who does not have children or a dog or both. All of you can suck my fat cock and lick my heavy clit. I do not care. I flush the toilet once a month. I'm not even fucking there. I don't have dogs. I don't have dogs. The rest of you are fraudulent bitches. Shut up. Perpetrating frauds. You know what? Don't worry about me in my house barely being there and being silent. Don't worry about me. Renter. Worry about your ugly ass. Yeah, I'm like, I'm the secret garden. I'm the child. I'm the indeed in the cupboard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No one knows about me.

You're the perfect neighbor. So, you know, and to your point, my friend was like, listen, the people next door would not have moved to the city in a condo surrounded by two people in the middle, have two neighbors on each side. If they were so sensitive about sound and needed peace and quiet, they would have moved to fucking Albany. I moved into a condo because I needed to make sure that I didn't share a wall with anyone.

How about three on each side? And I've lived in apartments and shared walls like a long time of my life. It just is. It is what it is. Yeah. I mean, be the neighbor you wish you could be. I don't blow up the neighbors.

You won't catch me in my house blowing up music. Oh, baby. No, no, no. Although I did once in my old, old back in Laurel where I lived below the landlord who was, I swear to God, he was, you know, he was a great big that person. And he would, like, fall a lot. And it just felt like he was going to come through the.

But that doesn't seem intentional. falling? That's not like testing subwifers in your home. No, I don't think he was five. Well, anyway, so one day I played, I put on a movie. It made me a little loud. Dune. It was Dune. The way that that man barreled down the stairs and almost broke through my door and told me that screaming at me while Amy and Sam, Amy Doyant and Sam were there saying, the whole complex is shaking. God damn it. And I was like, can I say? When you go to someone's door, you've got to know that you're not going to be perceived the way you think you're perceived. You're going to seem crazy if the door opens and you start yelling. You're just going to seem crazy.

And what you could say is, you know, it's just my walls rattling a little bit. Is that okay? I'm sorry. We've never met I'm so-and-so. Like that approach compared to the whole goddamn complex. He barrel down and brum, boom, boom. I was like, baby, I can hear you at 3 a.m. falling down.

Right. What are you doing at 3 a.m.? Yeah. bitch your big everything broke that shoe you know what i mean so wait so the um so my my life at home is currently again in shambles but um the uh i i i i you know i wow wow i have something to add please it's been raining in los angeles my guesthouse leaks everybody's got water damage my guest house leaks i had to have black mold remediation is doing my whole guest house.

I'm in the club. It sucks. It's expensive. It's tens of thousands of dollars. Tell me about it. Ten of thousands of dollars. I'm a moisture expert. The foundation,

they got to do what they call a mold cut, which is the three feet from the floor, the entire property, the entire thing. And they did the moisture gut and they're like, you have maybe one wall here that doesn't have to be like gutted. Now,

did you vet whoever, I, no, I called the first person. Is that bad? Who is it? I don't know. Do you know what the company?

The name is called? What is yours? Whoa. Now I'm scared. There's got to be more than one. Maybe. It better not be fucking. It's not.

It's not. Because, Mama, they ripped and ran. They tore my whole house apart and then left without putting anything back. No, this company moves on all my belongings. It's a full service. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're going to put back all the drywall in the construction. Yeah. Guess what else happened? What? You don't even know about this. I don't.

Why didn't tell me? So one of the issues was I said, well, Brandon and I have a storage unit down the street from my condo. Andrew told me. So in my storage unit, and this actually sucks, and you all make fun of me, whatever. One of the only things I have that has value that's not money is my doll collection. I've spent years of my life collecting all these beautiful vintage toys, time capsules of American history and fashion, whatever. I'm a huge bag. They're really valuable.

You love them. I love them. Yeah. It's one of the only material things I know is completely, it's not for food, water or sex or shelter. It's just, I love it. Yeah. And I've invested a lot of my money in them and making sure that they have their own storage unit that's dark and dry and cool and safe. We went in there to get something mold.

The entire doll collection, my entire doll collection, dolls from 59. through 80 basically. The boxes are all molded. All the boxes have mold on them. And I'm having to hire a company to come in that does mold remediation on objects to go through the whole collection and see what can be saved. But I might have to. So all my videos of vintage dolls, they might just all have to go in a landfill. And I have the fullest insurance at that storage unit.

It only covers up to $5,000. the fullest insurance at a storage unit only caught $5,000. And so I'm one hand to keep candy corn's there? My guest house leaking is like, okay, everyone's house is leaking. But paying a monthly fee for a safe, dry storage unit, I would have never occurred to me that this unit was just flooding. Yeah. I don't know why in Los Angeles we had to make buildings as if rain hadn't been invented yet.

I know. Rain didn't just hit. I know. Rain isn't new. I know. Well, Los Angeles is famously, I mean, depending on what type, I mean, unless it was, you know, unless it was built in the 20s and then renovated during the golden age of architecture in L.A., it's going to probably be poopoo crap. If it was built in the 50, 60, 70s, an apartment complex, it's going to look like the cat's ass. Yeah.

And it's probably going to be from tissue paper and wood chips. But, you know, my situation is a little bit more frustrating because I, it's like, I wasn't a, a victim of circumstances. A lot of this stuff I did, I made the most spectacularly stupid decisions. So after getting rid of the mold, having the bright idea to let someone put these enormously heavy planters on my deck, which of course immediately perforated the newly sealed waterproof membrane of the deck, having to take them down. All that, super expensive, by the way.

For nothing. Only to cause more problems. Oh, yeah. So it's like, I'm literally, like, I'm like. Brandon, was literally crying because he was like, Brandon was like, you worked so hard for this. And we went extra steps to put these, what we perceive to be like, the safest place.

It's not in our homes. It's in a storage. It's not even on the first floor. How the fuck did it get? Molding, everything, moldy. Dolls, moldy. Beautiful, pristine, mint condition Barbie collection. Drodding.

Fuck. It sucks shit. We're going to have to go back on tour. Oh, yeah. We've lost it all. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm in foreclosure. Thank God, take it.

Take it. Take it. I'll live in a wheelbarrow for the woodchips and sawdust. It just sucks. No, it does. And I don't want to like fantasize, but I'm like, okay, over in Wisconsin,

we don't have leaks in our homes, mostly. I grew up in a trailer. It did not leak. Mary, what is the issue over here in Los Angeles where somebody is, somebody's up there just poking holes. Like, we're all,

bugs in a peanut butter jar with holes poked in the top. That was me. I paid someone to poke some holes. Crazy. Kill me. Slat me. Throw me down the stairs. I can't be trusted. I hope it stops waiting for the winter because I can't take it. I mean, I'm from Massachusetts

where we got, I don't know, famously like 4,000 feet of snow every winter. Do you think we had one leak in our motherfucking house? No. No. I don't know what to do. I don't know why we don't just make roofs like this, no matter what. Like my house has that roof? My house doesn't leak. All of it rolls off.

The new studio, Andrew and I moved into, the top, so it's above, it's above this restaurant. Why is the driveway concave? Love. And why does it collect puddles and puddles and puddles? And I was told not to park there because the restaurant is flooding always underneath it. Fierce.

Isn't that fierce? In that country? Isn't that great? And that lovely for a restaurant? What are we going to do? I don't know. Not live in L.A. I try to call my blessings.

I'm like, my house isn't leaking. Trixie Cosmetics isn't leaking. Not yet. Trixie Motel isn't leaking. Once again, my little poker. But we also just redid the Trixie Motel roof when we moved in. And it's not going to rain in Palm Springs away.

It's raining here. Mama, yeah, that's like, yeah, no. But I don't know, girl. Weather. We're having weather. I have another great story for you. Teaser next week. Trixie Mattel pulled over.

It happens. It happens. It could happen. Tricks Mattel pulled over. All of this has been happening in the same like three-day period. It's been awful. Wait, wait, we've got to end on a happy note. End on a happy note.

We get an 150 episodes of the Baldwin, the Beautiful. 250 episodes. Now, take that, Amy Poehler. Just kidding. 250 episodes of non-stop, non-stop entertainment for free. Sometimes people will say, to me,

about you and I, they will say things like you guys could just do anything and people would eat it up. I don't feel that way, and I know these people are watching us for 10 years, don't feel that way. I take that as a compliment because they don't understand. I think it's a read.

I think it's insulting to these people listening too. And there's a limit where there's a, when you yourself, when you don't have it, you have a sense of humor and a sense of humility and you have a self-deprecating sense of humor. There is a line where you should kind of check yourself in like, you know, I'm actually not a piece of shit. And this is not some stupid frivolous thing. It's a wonderful thing that I'm proud of. I care about what you and I do in here.

I do too. And just because it seems off the cuff or like, or that it's improvised or that it's not heavily produced or that we don't know how to say goodbye. Like doesn't mean... We may not know how to introduce guests. Yeah, yeah. We can't remember anyone's names. But what happens in between all of that is very important. Right.

They love to say this to me, girl, I love how you could just wear anything. That's what I'm saying. Like, don't wear anything. I wish you wouldn't wear anything. What if we start doing drag, but we're just completely naked and no padding on? The wigs and the makeup, but just... Oiled. Big black bush.

Hateful bush. Hateful bush. Hateful bush. You just got to, it says... Hairy legs. Big old panties and that hateful bush. No, I have a bra on panties, but I don't have them on. I just hold them on my lap. Just so, you know, I could put them on if I'm on a hanger that I hold up the whole time.

So much better than getting a drag. We should just bring in store mannequins with our outfits on it. Be like, this is what could have happened. Or a projector, projector. Oh, love. Paint our body's white, different outfits. Love. Yeah.

And then have it crossed us. dissolve so they change over time. I love the cross-dissolve. All right. Last thing. Last thing. I, um, I love, I've recently discovered that I maybe am not as interested in having sex with people as I thought I was. I kind, can I tell you, I listened to the last pod and you were talking about the asshole

like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I knew you were going to have this Sarah Plain and Tall swing backwards. And I, and I kind of did you because that's how everyone is. Does anyone else feel like when you're horny, you have a hookup or all I used to have like three in a week and then nothing for months. Mama. Once you break the seal, you're like, well...

And it's like I... Everything I said was true. Right. I mean, I really had a transcendental time. Right. But I just haven't really been in the mood. I think that's okay. It comes in waves, I think.

And also, I... Mama, I know me. Yeah. Nobody knows me better than me. I love to jerk it. I love to touch myself. Right. I go through a hell of pleasure myself.

I think we can go. 250 episodes. Thank you so much for letting us do the most wonderful thing in the world. Because honestly, this job is so country. It's great. Thank you to Nick for filming and doing all the sound. Yes.

Thank you to Tracy. For always laughing. Always laughing in the background. Give me someone a wink at. And thank you to Mark. And honestly, Mark, Studio 71. And all of our guests. And also, PEG, our managers,

were the ones who were like, do you guys want to do a pod? I don't know if we would have done it around. Don't you remember. I was like, start a pod this late in the game. Oh, yeah. I remember feeling like who wants to see, have us do. I remember feeling like, well, we're models. People want to look at us. They don't

want to listen to us. Why are we so good at drag, but people are so happy we've stopped dressing up. But don't I remember thinking, this is too late. This is too late. It's like too late in the game to this. Now everybody, now Gwyneth Paltrow's got a pod. Everybody's got a pod. But also our fans were so young. Like their cochlear like little bones had just finally. Yeah. Now their fontanels are hardening up. Right. And so they were cerebrally finally ready for a pod. Thank you. Now we're all on the level. Now that I have dementia, they're ready to listen.

And a whole new audience. Whole new audience, which is great because we don't have any stories. Except me getting pulled over. I'm going to tell you next week. Okay. Cliffhanger. Okay. 251. You know,