The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - 30 Ways to Use Lava to Incorporate a Boyfriend Into Your Toilet with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: November 1, 2022

Behold, Tik Tok judgement day is nigh! As the soiled masses scroll through prosaic videos of cats, choreography, and cleaning materials, do not pretend you are free from fear. When the end comes, it shall arrive with righteous wrath and fierce anger, darkening the sun, cloaking the moon, and causing the stars to fall from heaven. Tik Tok shall pass judgement upon you and all whom you know, causing the desolation of the land and crushing all social media sinners to dust. We have spoken! Let it be done. To check out LoveHoney and spice up your life, go to: https://lovehoney.co/Bald Check out the new season of American Horror Story, AHS:NYC, watch it on Fox and stream on Hulu! Listen to the new podcast: “Baby, This is Keke Palmer” Exclusively on Amazon Music! Download the Amazon Music App Now! When you’re ready to launch a new website, go to Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Start your credit journey with Chime. Sign up takes only two minutes and doesn’t affect your credit score. Get started at Chime.com/BALD This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. To find a licensed therapist near you, go to: www.Betterhelp.com/BALD Visit Rakuten.com or download the app to earn cash back when you shop at thousands of stores, you can start saving today! Check out Wondery's "This is Keke Palmer" new podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts! Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Whores! I love that part in the, not the Shining. The Misery. Misery. When she's like talking about going to the weekly picture shows and it looks like he's going to die and the next week he's not dead

and she's pissed. And she's like, does everybody have amnesia? She's so mad mad he never got out of the cock-a-doodie car so good Annie Wilkes should be the continuity

consultant on anything absolutely absolutely she'll be like so we gotta get Annie Wilkes cock-a-doodie we should get a

Veronica Cartwright from Witches of Eastwick whores Spanish flies and then also we should get Julia Roberts Cartwright from Witches of Eastwick. Whores. Whores. Spanish flies. And then also we should get Julia Robertson, my best friend's wedding. Fuck me. Do you remember when she is introducing Rupert Everett as her, as her, he flew in real quick to fuck me.

Do you remember that? No. It's the perfect line reading. It's so great. It's very shocking. Oh, cause she's lying. And it's America's sweetheart Oh because she's pretending

It's her boyfriend Yes and she's being so vulgar Right I think we should I would also love Something from Dr. Gorgeous I would There's so many good ones

I would love You'd think they'd have The parking lot of America To go with the mile of America Yeah Catch it in your mouth I'd give you a prize Yeah I'd catch it in your mouth

I'd give you a prize Or you're cute Oh you're cute I would also love I mean we're not Sticking to Allison Janney Exclusively But maybe some of her

From my Tanya Oh duh Lick my ass Diane She can do a triple Lick my ass Diane She can do a fucking triple What did she say This is like

Not my words But she says You skated like a Graceless bulldike I was embarrassed for you That's what her mom Says to her I think this show should have been called

Graceless Bulldaggers. Yeah. You skated like a graceless bulldagger. I was. Are we rolling? Yeah. Oh, thank God. Okay.

So if you guys have any suggestions for our soundboard, you know what else? I mean, this is kind of a throwback, but have you ever seen the movie Deuce Bigelow Male Gigolo with Rob Schneider? No, I haven't. Okay. You know, he is dating women for money.

He's a gigolo. He's trying to make money. And is that like a bizarro joke kind of thing? Well, he is house sitting for a gigolo. A hot professional gigolo. And he gets confused for one. And I think he accidentally kills this expensive fish. And he's trying to like raise money to replace it.

Or he's going to get killed. Right? Oh. So he starts. The phone starts ringing. He starts going on dates with these women and they're like different women. One has like a sleep disorder.

They're all like wacky gals. Wacky gals with quirks. And I'm not saying this is aged well, but whenever he's on a date with this really tall girl, they do one of those jokes where like, they only show her from like the chest down. Oh my God. Because he's really short.

Right, totally. And always from like the back 40, you'll hear in the back of the scenes that's a huge bitch oh my god and i think when you and i talk about our drag we could use that that's a huge bitch because it has two things when we talk about our shoulders not fitting costumes or something and when someone's being a huge bitch oh yeah double meanings double entendres so you can get a lot of use out of that How about Oh wait wait wait hold on You know that news clip where the woman's like We'll be back at five

What the fuck are you doing Because she doesn't know that they've cut Or like Miley Cyrus Let's get out of here They gotta be short and snappy There's one I wish I could There's's one I wish I could What do you wish?

There's certain things I wish you could say on camera And you can't It's not that I Actually I love that actually Cause you can't always Get what you want

Somebody should write A song about that No no no It'd be too easy Too successful Yeah Anybody who writes a song Called you can't always

Get what you want Should die No they should be Tortured first Absolutely Yeah You can't Well we're here Want should die. No, they should be tortured first. Absolutely. You can't. Well, we're here in the house. We're here in the house.

And it's really salty because I went into the ocean today. You did? It was so hot here. I can't believe you. Did you know it was going to be warm? Did you plan ahead? No. I didn't plan ahead at all. So what if it had been 60?

I don't know. I would have fucked around and found out. But I went into a CVS on the way there because they didn't bring any towels. And I paid $48 for a couple of very thin towels. When I swiped my credit card, I said, ouch. And eventually they were two-ply paper towel with like graphics of palm trees on them. They were printed out napkins. And then they dissolved on my body and did not dry me at all.

So who'd you go with? Certain people, different people, many people. No, I went with Jason. We went with a trainer. So we went and then- You want to keep a low profile. So you go with Jason? Yes, yes, yes.

We probably strutted onto the beach. We were papped incessantly the whole time. Well, we both wore Speedos and he's into nude beaches. I'm not trying to out him or whatever, but he's into nude beaches. I'm not into nude beaches. So we met in the middle and we both wore Speedos. I'm with you. I'm pro-nudity in general.

I wish we lived in a society where people could just have... This is horrible. I was jogging through West Hollywood today and I saw probably an unhoused individual and she had both...

No shirt on, no bra. Both boobs out in the sunlight. Okay. It didn't even shock me. And I was like... I know her situation's different. Yeah. But people should be allowed to just have their fucking boobs out.

Well, let's start with nudity not being illegal. Hello. Let's start there because it's the human body is not a crime. The human body as it is, just as it is, is not a crime. But that's what we think of it. Don't get me started on nudity. People should be able to like, well, I only have my underwear and flip flops on. I'm just going to run into CVS.

Like, go buy your gum. However, they should not be able to sit their, I only have underwear and flip-flops on I'm just gonna run into CVS like go buy your gum However, they should not be able to sit there bare-ass on your fucking white couch. Well, but real nudists have Decorum and etiquette. Yes. We dream of someday possibly doing a nudist event at the motel. Who's we? David and I okay, not for us But because I think nudists need more places to go. And it would be like, people already shower naked. Most people are sleeping naked. People are naked. Everybody's naked at all times.

They just have fabric draped over their naked body. And what do you call it? What's the rest of it? What do you call it? Drag. Drag. You're all born naked and the rest is drag. Oh, my God.

It's the anthem. Who do you think you are? We're all born naked and the red is red. I thought you were singing like the Chili's. It sounded like a Chili's jingle or something. Who do you think you are? Come on down to Chili's and eat our wings. Do you like Chili's?

I don't think I've ever been. I don't think so either. I will say this is horrible. I love Applebee's. You're going to say't think so either. I will say this is horrible. I love Applebee's. You're going to say I killed someone at a Chili's. This is horrible. I killed someone at an Applebee's. I murdered a waiter at a Chili's once.

I was a franchise owner of a Chili's, and I built it over a Native American graveyard. And then it was a haunted Chili's. And that was tough. I like any chain food. If they'll serve me a burger with no cheese and schmutz on it, then I'm happy. Absolutely. There's a few foods that are always, it's always like a Southwest egg roll. What does that mean?

I don't even know what that is. It's like a American Mexican version of an egg roll. But what's in it? I don't know. It's like black bean, red peppers, melted cheese, like, like taco tasting egg roll. Wrapped up in a crunchy egg roll? Yeah. It'll be like a pretzel with cheese, hot pretzel with cheese.

It'll be like there's always a salad that's candied pecans and apple slices. All these things you're describing, I unfortunately won't eat. That makes me sick. It burns me up. Okay. Well, there'll always be a pizza, but it's a flatbread. They love to call it a flatbread. Like that's pinky in the sky.

Because they think that's more classier. Yes. Just call it a pizza. It's a flatbread They love to call it a flatbread Like that's pinky in the sky Because they think that's more classier Yes Just call it a pizza It's a pizza Italians fought the Well the very They didn't win World War II for nothing Hello

Thank you Jesus Christ Give them the moment Give the Italians some shots Their pizza's good and juicy I'm trying to think of stuff like that Like I've never been to an Outback Steakhouse What are the other like sort

Olive Garden Tea Olive Garden is tea The last time i went to an olive garden the service was so quick i thought that somebody had like i was living in a vhs tape and they had pressed fast forward like the waitress came over as like before we were they sat down it was there before you ordered like it's like wait a minute did they just have everything made and they just immediately bring it out the guy who brought it out was sweating i think because the kitchen was hot obviously but he was dripping sweat and we were in and out in like 12 minutes we paid we paid at the table i was like is this a sweatshop for food well no you know my biggest pet peeve because i was a server and you know i was a goody goody server too i tried to do things

by the book i like reported my cash tips I was like just gross can you just quickly I sat down at your table what are you doing to me well I'm coming up I'm greeting you

but do it I'm welcoming I'm asking you if you've been here hi my name is Brian I'm going to take care of you guys have you guys been here before no

oh great well our menu is kind of like this what you never want to do is be that server who's like we we do things a little differently around. Girl. I was like, I don't want to. It's a restaurant. I want familiar.

I want food and I want it fast. But one of the things that people, 100%, it's the first thing I notice, pre-drops, right? Pre-drops? Yeah. So if somebody orders, let's say appetizersizers they should have little plates and silverware way before the food comes right if the appetizer comes and then you have to ask for silver and little plates jail prison and jail yeah i have the steam ripper and i'm putting in my thigh girl these are godless times the godless restaurant so pre-dropping is a big one i always am very

impressed when a server like like if you order french fries ketchup should be pre-dropped yeah things that you burgers ketchup if it's going to be a pizzaetchup should be pre-dropped Yeah Things that you Burgers Ketchup If it's gonna be a pizza meal They should pre-drop Like the parmesan cheese The red pepper Like you know people

Will need this But the pizza or the Is that the dealer's choice No matter how big the pizza It's one hand And then it's Okay And now you've sold me

Yeah Pre-dropping And then the other thing I love when servers do Is They print your bill after your entree and they have it ready to go. And that way, when you say, I think we're too full for dessert, they go, great. They already have it. Because if you add something,

it's just two seconds to add it. But now you've really impressed them by you already have the bill anticipating needs. And these are all needs that are very easily to anticipate. We're going to get hungry. We're going to pay. Girl, we're going to get hungry. We're going to play. And I also think letting drinks get empty. I mean, that's like pie in the sky.

You don't want people's drinks to get empty. No. You don't want to. But you don't want to refill it the second they take a sip either. That's psychotic. No, there's a happy medium And I think it's about Being suspended

From the ceiling A trolley pulley thing With a pitcher 100% And then Because I don't want to see you When you're pouring my drink But I do want it to come

From the ceiling Absolutely I got one of those Like leather braided belts And I have Two liter sodas Grape You know

Orange Diet Orange Coke Zero And whatever you want It's like a little spigot I have a really important Question for you What is it? Is Pepsi okay? Orange. Diet, orange, Coke Zero. And whatever you want. It's like a little spigot. I have a really important question for you.

What is it? Is Pepsi okay? Is Pepsi okay? Yeah. Have we checked on her? Have we talked to Pepsi? Is Pepsi okay? Do we really know if she's okay?

The next time someone asks if Pepsi's okay, I'm going to be, No, she died three weeks ago. I haven't talked to her today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is Pepsi okay? Well, you you know losing a parent yeah it's always hard you know it's a third boyfriend and i guess you this time he was real but yeah yeah asking if as if it's nev campbell and scream yeah has anyone checked on pepsi yeah is pepsi okay we're really worried about her we're worried pepsi you're not yourself you don't love

to do the things you used to do anymore that phrase took on so many different meanings and went into so many different neighborhoods in my mind. Because as we traveled through Canada, every time I asked for a Coke, I always asked for a Coke. And sometimes in a lot of places in the U.S., Coke means soda. Yeah. Right. I said, I have a Coke, please. And they're like, is Pepsi okay? And I'm like, is it?

Well, what if it's not? Go next door? It has to be. But I feel like you're legally required to inform the customer that it's not it's going next door exactly so but i feel like you're legally required to inform the customer that it's not coke it is pepsi although maybe half the people wouldn't be able to tell the difference well some people though pepsi challenge now is that a good drag name pepsi challenge well pepsi's not a name that's the problem well it depends who you ask you know we know people named milk and bob. But those are weird people. True.

True. Drag names need to be names. I can't believe we don't know anyone named Pepper Spray. That's really good. Pepper Spray really is. That's good. Peppers. Pushing it, though, name-wise, though, because that's still a weird name.

Tell that to Peppermint. Drag legend Peppermint. Trans person of color, activist icon, Peppermint. Go ahead and look in the camera and us she's fake her first name is pepper And her last name is mint. Yeah, she has fresh breath. She's seasonal What about minty leaf is that a name better? Minty leaf honey. I bet you a long haul trucker of the fly I mean this is not that's not name pepper pots is a character pepper labaja is a chosen name

You know these are all chosen names. The other thing I have to say about is Pepsi OK is, if it isn't OK or if it is OK, that's an hourly worker. Don't break into your type five comedy of like, well, oh, I guess I'll bend the rules at the restaurant. Drink the brown bubbly liquid. Shut the fuck up. Give me my brown bubbly liquid and shut the fuck up. Yeah. Give me my brown bubbly now. And by the way, I do prefer Coke, but even Coke is a lie.

Coke is supposed to be a caramel flavored soft drink. Did you know that? Coke is supposed to be caramel flavored. And you know what happened to Pepsi? They used to have all the juggernauts. They had Jesse Eisenberg's little sister in the commercials. They had Britney. They had Britney. They had Beyonce.

They had Madonna. Now who do they got? They have- Canadians. Hey, we got Pepsi. They have the entire country of Canada wrapped up in their icy claw grip. Yep.

All those nice Canadians too polite to say, no, Pepsi's not okay. Is Pepsi okay? You can come here and take our whole country and we'll serve it to every visitor. I want to do a true crime podcast about is podcast about is pepsi okay let's ask joan crawford oh yeah don't fuck with me fellas

i think that's where it all came from pepsi she she strong-armed that fucking brown drink bulldozed right over that cocaine uh liquid and then oh god this ain't my first time at the rodeo you know i 100 own own Trixie Cosmetics And I still walk in and scream I own 51% They're like They're like You've never been to a

Fucking rodeo bitch They're like They're like so Do we own the 49% Like what's very confusing You should get a board of directors Martin Scorsese Catherine Bigelow

Sofia Coppola What are you perturbed by? The food that just arrived? You brought Chipotle in. I didn't bring it. Eden brought it. You're getting Chipotle? What's your Chipotle order?

It changed. Oh, it's changed. Yes. It's all sourdough. I'm not sorry. Sour cream with a little bit of queso. No fork. The way I tried to imagine that and then realized it wasn't feasible i was like so she's

getting a cup of sour cream and eating with a fork no fork i told you no fork just a sip hot mug i'm sorry i'm sorry let's take a break looking for a path to accelerate your career? Clear direction for next-level success? In a place that is innovative and practical? A path to stay current and connected to industry? A place where you can be yourself? You will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies,

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Visit amex.ca slash business platinum. And we're back. And we're still talking about Pepsi. Sorry, guys. I love Chipotle. It's one of the only kind of like, oh, I just keep spitting on myself. That's cool. Yesterday at Netflix, Jennifer went, Trixie, would you dab your chin? So what's that about? I love Chipotle. It's one of the only kind of like, I just keep spitting on myself. That's cool.

Yesterday at Netflix, Jennifer went, Trixie, would you dab your chin? So what's that about? I drool. No, I'm a heavy drooler, but only in my sleep. But how do I get spit above the lip? That gravity. Let's ask Sandra Bullock. You know what it was?

Right when I spit, I did that smile thing where I head upside down. And that's how I spit on myself. Mama, that's a death drop. That's a death drop. Imagine being able to do that at the gig. You're doing the Pointer Sisters jump. Yes. Tell me how you love me.

And then you, right at the Hamburger Marys. Jump. Oh, my love. Jump it. I mean, there's got to be a song about going upside down. Absolutely there is. Pal song about going upside down or like. Absolutely. There is. Yeah. Paloma Faith upside down.

Or what about. Upside down. Bouncing on the ceiling. No. No, this isn't. Well, it is. You're going to get sued on YouTube for singing. Mark, that sucks because I had been rehearsing a whole 45 minute medley of number one hits from the 90s.

I'd love to see you do it. Yeah. Love to see you do it, gal. So wait, I went into the ocean this morning and I have to tell you something. Miss Ocean, that woman, that thing, we have no business in there. She will take it. Oh my God. It's ocean is scary.

It's not our place not just scary it is so powerful we're not supposed to be down there no because she will crush you like a fucking bug bitch she's like oh oh you want to swim in here no it's not i'm gonna drown you so effortlessly is this stupid like how how deep could a human body swim before something bad happens they're talking straight down. Oh, like depth. Oh my gosh. Because my iPhone can go under like five meters, I think.

Well, you can go down, I think, five miles, but you have to be able to hold your breath for about 45 minutes. It's tough. So when people scuba dive, like- The bends. Is this stupid? When people like are exploring the Titanic, are they, is it their bodies swimming around? No.

James Cameron and, um um what's his name uh ed harris or somebody james cameron mitchell james cameron mitchell um as hedwig went down and had lunch in the titanic during 9-11 i'm not joking i'm not joking so james cameron and it wasn't it wasn't ed harris it was somebody else another actor had lunch on the titanic while 9-11 i'm serious oh they came up and 9-11 had happened. No, I'm serious. Oh. They came up and 9-11 had happened. Isn't that fucking crazy? So they were like,

you know what? We're in the... But you know what? No, people were like, we have some news. They're the one vacationing amongst the skeletons. Who's going down

to the Titanic? Well, can I ask a question? The movie makes it look like a lot of the people on the boat were not rich. Mm-hmm. Is that true or was it all rich people?

Obviously, some people work on the boat, but there wasn't like moderate wealth people on the Titanic were not rich. Is that true or was it all rich people? Obviously some people work on the boat, but there wasn't like moderate wealth people on the Titanic. Was it all like, it was either frou-frou-frou or very dirty face poor, but all the dirty face poor were so hot.

Hot like Leo DiCaprio. That's the thing. You know what I love? I love when he turns around and goes, you want to go to a real party? We got to get that as a sound effect. Yeah. They go down to the, down to steerage.

They drop the G and the hand goes on the window. That's a seamy hand. The way I could have rolled my ankles trying to do that standing on a toe trick she does for the people. Don't you remember the part where she's like, you think you're all really tough? And Kate Winslet stands up and she, cause she's like a proper ballet girl and she can do point. So then she

slowly raises up onto her two pointer toes on on the dining room table no they're downstairs in like the the irish music party oh you're right the men in music conference the men in music down in orlando down in orlando at the many music business conference i still can't believe that that bitch released that song. Do you ever think that she's just trying to push the fags as far as she can before they snap? Yes, and so many other things. I think that she does so many things and that we will never even begin to understand those things. So many things.

I think that she probably posts some of that stuff and she's like, people think is so serious look oh i think it's even crazier than that she's like i've got an idea she's like i'm why don't i really fuck with people today yeah so she wakes up the eye mask comes off she's like let's fuck around well the power the power that that has the international implications that that has imagine if beyon Beyonce just woke up and put a one slide on her Instagram that said tonight. Of course she does that. What would it mean? We would be like, is she putting on a record? Is she going to have a baby?

Is she going to turn a school into a meat factory? Right. So, I mean, the power of that, you know. If you had a social media that wasn't drag and you didn't do drag. The power of that, you know. Dad in the middle of a business conference. Dad in the middle of a business conference. If you had a social media that wasn't drag, and you didn't do drag. Let's say you were Ben Smith who worked at the Chipotle. Yeah. And you had a socials.

What would you post? I would. Hobbies, friends, family? No. I mean, I was going to say something funny, but I wouldn't have one. I don't think I would either. No, I don't have one. I don't think I would either. No, I don't have one. I don't think I would either.

The only person, the only non-famous person's social media that I really, really enjoy, Instagram, is just, I have a friend who has really great taste in artwork, and she posts wonderful pictures of, like, nature stuff. Very, but not like, ooh, a big wave crashing, or, you know what I mean? It's like gorgeous close-up things, like, what is that? That's all. But that's, but who or you know what I mean? It's like gorgeous close up things like what is that? That's all. But that's but who, you know, I don't know. Probably my asshole.

Pictures of my shaved asshole. Did you see that? You know, Instagram doesn't like when gay things happen. Of course. But Kim Kardashian can show her inner and outer labia. Show hole. Vulva. But I know gay guys who like a remotely gay but revealing picture.

So they'll do this and then they'll do that and then they'll get flagged. Yes. However, I do know gay guys who literally have broken the rules and then are like, Instagram hates gays. I'm like, you were gooning. Yeah. You had your foreskin tied to a doorknob and you were slamming it. Yeah.

You had the Boston cream pie on the timeline. Like Instagram hates gays and like you broke the rules of Instagram. But just go to Twitter, Mary. Go to Twitter. Go to Twitter.com and you can literally post you can post the whole 30 load weekend

in full glorious display. Yeah. Today's episode is sponsored by Twitter. Twitter, thank you so much for allowing me to view in real time my neighbor get deep dicked by the whole hockey team.

Twitter, it's like, do you like violence? Do you like, truly hate culture? That's where the fans of something go to be mad. Twitter. Yeah, they also go to Reddit too.

There's Reddits for anything. Believe it or not, I'm on the Watchmen Reddit. Of course, but that's natural though. No, but it's me. Is there a gooning incessantly about Watchmen Reddit? But the thing about Watchmen Reddit. Of course. But that's natural though. No, but it's me. Is there a gooning incessantly about Watchmen Reddit?

But the thing about Watchmen is it mostly attracts like conservative right wing people, a lot of it. So like, cause some people read it and they get what they want of it. Some people are like, this is a conservative manifesto. Well, they're like the villains in something. And I'm gay and they're like, ooh, pretty pictures. So, you know, Reddit's wild. There's Reddits for anything.

Yeah, Reddit. There's, I guess porn is on Reddit. Oh, yeah. There's one that I love called r slash massive cock. And I don't even care about big dicks that much. So I don't know why I follow it. Why are you laughing? r slash massive giant chickens

like coq but what i like about the reddit porn is it's it is just someone waking up and choosing violence and taking a picture of their dick in the bathroom and posting it yeah that is fascinating to me because i've never i've never done it not don't have, you know, I have very photographical genitalia, of course. But I don't know. I guess I liked the studio porn because it was so well lit and I love acting.

But I guess I just go to the movies. Oh my God. Why aren't movies sexy anymore? Dave and I were watching Scary Movie 5 last night. I don't recommend it. They did five of those stinkers? Lindsay Lohan's in it.

And she plays herself in the beginning and she's having sex with an ankle monitor on. Yeah. Oh, shit. It's fierce. But does it like, what happens? Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen are doing a- Oh, shut the fuck up. That's not even funny.

Well, it's like a paranormal activity. Like there's cameras in their bedroom and they're trying to catch ghosts, but they're having sex. It was, I mean, those movies they're trying to catch ghosts but they're having sex. It was, I mean those movies are so slapsticky. It's really anything goes. Mac Miller's in it

who's dead now. It's wild. Wow, what a tasteless extravaganza. It is. That's the one where there was a geyser of seminal fluid

that propelled a woman into the, okay, that was like they started with that. But it launched the career of Anna Faris. Who turned,

that was her, into the ceiling? Mary, can I just say on this channel, this pod, those movies are great. And they are great because a pretty unknown actress at the time was swinging big. Anna Faris said, I know exactly what kind of movie we're making. Yeah, she did. I have to play- Broadway. It's amazing.

Yeah, yeah. You have to understand She was probably like You know I guess I'm just gonna go for it Because we're making something stupid And if I the lead Don't go big Yeah yeah

Because she's with Regina Hall Who's also swinging So big in those movies Yeah yeah yeah God they are so good And they're female centered Horror movies

Which is great Fake horror movies Yeah There's Did you see X You saw X right I did Did you like it It was saw X, right? I did. Did you like it?

It was fine. I had questions. What are the questions? Why are they killing these people? Who? Why is a woman killing people? Why are these people killing these people? Because she's jealous.

Jealous of what? Of her youth. She's jealous of being unfuckable. Jealous of what, Crystal? Your ugly leather pants? She literally says she's jealous of the big-titted blonde young woman because she's grown old and therefore unfuckable, and she's not at peace with that.

She wants to get her pussy ate. That sounds more like this dynamic. An old woman being jealous of a young blonde big-titted girl. I will kill anybody around me who tries to make a porno. Why do you think all my friends are porno people? I'm playing the long game. Girl, you are. You're like, I think you should do a slasher porn yeah i think you should have the slasher have some more g yeah work um i just thought x was you know i did watch hellraiser finally oh my god okay okay okay okay i watched it twice i have a lot

of opinions about it can i say that i think it was i love the original i think it was better than the original it made way more sense the the gore was obviously incredible the box was so transfixing because it changed shapes so many times yeah and honestly just had more of a plot i love the first one but you are a little bit like are we watching this exactly what's going on yeah yeah although the the yeah. Although the lead in the original, that girl, is great. Yeah. I mean, I think I was, the second viewing, I couldn't, who is the curly haired kid from Stranger Things? Because it looks like his older sister.

Oh, well, can I say, I know that she's a drug addict. Uh-huh. The hair was 75% covering her face the entire film. Kelly LeBrock with a wind at her back. Girl, Hagrid hanging upside down. It was so crazy. It was so crazy. And I think all those...

My issue with the movie was like, everything that didn't involve the Cenobites, I actually had no interest in. Not even a teeny bit. They were all shouting and telling us what they were going to do or what they needed to do. I was like, just go do it.

Well, isn't that... Any of of those movies you wait for the spooky? I mean they want to know what gagged me what when it's your time and the wall start receding and you base That was so when that girl in the was in the hospital Oh, and yeah the woman but you never she's being wheeled down the hospital and the wall start turning into brick I'm like work or when Nora's in the van and I walls start turning into brick, I'm like, work, bitch. Or when Nora's in the van and all of a sudden the driver's seat is getting further away

and the outside is red, I was like, ooh, something's going on. That's how I feel when I use a CBD foot oil. Yeah, you're doing .005 milligrams of THC

and the chains are coming out. Yes. Oh my God, one time I was on tour with Laganja a long time ago. You know how the tour buses, they expand when you're parked

and they shrink? Hellraiser she was seated and it smushed her no oh that's how laganja died yeah no it started moving and laganja was really medicated and the room contracting while she was high without warning her face i'll never i'll try to do my best version of it but it was like high without warning her face i'll never i'll try to do my best version of it but it was like she couldn't handle it i remember going it's fine this supposed to happen and she was like oh you should don't say that to someone like that she was so shook by what's happening yeah um miss jamie clayton pinhead she turned took that party and she turned it right around. Girl, just, just, just. A joyful note.

Yes. And then she sticks that fucking pin through her fucking throat. Yeah. Yeah. It was crazy. Mama, further delights await. I understand that like these Cenobites are supposed to be like people who pain and pleasure are all the same to them. It's just extreme amounts of sensation, right?

That's what they're looking for. Who wants that? Well, so they're from another dimension. They're travelers from another dimension. And to us, they're obviously not great because whatever gifts they have to give us, they're not exactly pleasant. That guy with the hardware through his chest? The auto harp on his nerves is so nasty.

So rude. And you know who he was, that actor? Practical magic! By the way, he has not aged a day. What an attractive man. Although he was surfing the Lady Claire all nice and easy. Mama, he's Serbian. Black number two. Honey. One B. She went down to La Brea

Tar Pits And dipped the back Of her head In that tar She had black hair It was so nice and easy Nice and easy It was literally Toupe 1B black

It was so funny Yeah It was a rug It really was She was giving a rug Also It's sort of like As the human drag queen

Wig technology improves The movie The movie wigs Have not improved Did you So we're catching up Mama we have not improved so we're catching up mama we've surpassed them we're catching up people who aren't even on the regular season of drag race or are giving hd fantasy lace i know and fucking the marvel cinematic universe is in is doing scooby-doo girl hard front scooby-doo ucb take the wig off the wall quickly cola scola quick changes that's

what they're doing it It's like, why? I've been looking at the House of the Dragon show on HBO, which is, of course, Game of Thrones, but they all wear white. Many of the characters

have white hair. So you can imagine the horrors that lie with the lace. Mama, this is a million, billion dollar production, the best production company

in the whole world. And they're giving boo-ooPartyCity.com bargain bin after Halloween. What is that? When Tim Allen and the Santa Claus has unclockable HD lace, you can pull it together. If there's a fantasy world

that you're adapting for the screen and the characters have white hair, you gotta say one thing. Okay, this world is not real. This is not Ken Burns. We can take a little bit of liberty. We can do a low light. Do a bang. We can do a bang.

We can experiment with some texture. We can make it whatever we want. Just make it look good. Uh-huh. People get hung. I think they get hung up on the good part. Now, I mean, I don't know if you're that person, but anything I watch, I go, that's a wig. That's a wig.

I said it out loud. When we saw You know that one With the girl in the back With the thing In the back of her head Oh What was it called

Maleficent No malevolent Malevolent Not maleficent Malevolent In the theater Me and Andrew At the same time

Malignant Malignant Malignant At the same time The only thing I never talk in theaters Me and Andrew said Wig

Wig Out loud I know Cause mama She was wigged For that Wigged for the gig At the same time, the only thing, I never talk in theaters. Me and Andrew said, wig, wig, out loud. I know. Because Mama, she was wigged for the gig. Wigging out with bobby pins. That's what she's doing. We're going to take a break. This episode is brought to you by Dyson OnTrack.

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Buy from DysonCanada.ca. With ANC on, performance may vary based on environmental conditions and usage. Accessories sold separately. So I first came to Edward Jones with a great deal of trepidation when I first met with my advisor and I really was feeling vulnerable about what I would have to share. I was of course pleasantly surprised to find that there was absolutely no judgment and a lot of support. And when it was time to get serious, he really took my hand and helped me to do that. Edward Jones. We do money differently. Visit edwardjones.ca slash different.

Pandora. Be love. What does be love mean to you? I definitely would say my be love role model is for sure my sister. Unconditional, infinite love. Something that is never ending, that you know is always there. Never questioned. Never questioned. No matter if you fall off a cliff, she's there to catch you, you know? Be love.

Shop now at Pandora.net. And we're back with Wiggin' Out with Bobby Pins. Dirty Ted and Stephanie are wiggin' out on HBO Max. They're given a visible lace with no glimmer glass, flat white hair, and the dolls are living. You know, not to take it back to air conditioning, but we were filming at Netflix the last two days. Oh, it was too cold.

I came home and took a hot bath, and I had to wait for my feet to warm up. I was truly, I was, you know, Aspen. Can we name drop? Jennifer Cochis. I don't know how to say her last name. Jennifer. Jennifer, who's our director.

I believe she's not on Netflix. No, no. She's an independent contractor, like kind of director, creator of our show. And she keeps us, I think she's actually trying to teach us a valuable lesson of how to, too much of a good thing. No, us, I think she's actually trying to teach us a valuable lesson about how much of a good thing.

No, she's talking about, she's trying to preserve us because she thinks we're dead. She's waiting for us to go on a call so she can go, oh, really? Yeah, that's interesting. That's interesting. Fina, our Fina Barberta,

who does our hair and makeup, she was doing my face yesterday and she goes, what foundation do you have on? I said, you know, I told her and she was like, it looks great. I said, it's because I'm unable to perspire or produce sebum.

When you spray paint a corpse, they don't move. They don't move. They don't move. It's really crazy. It was wild. I actually uttered the words, I'm too cold right now. And I was like, who am I? Where am I?

It's really cold. What's going on? Yeah, yeah. It's really cold. What's going on? Yeah, yeah. It's really cold. Well, you know. Wait, wait. There's several other things that I wanted to mention to you. I want to talk about it too.

Whatever it is, I want you to talk about it with me and I want to connect with you. I want to hear your voice and look in your eyes and know the things you think when I'm not around. I want you to agree or disagree. Yeah. I want to respond, retaliate. Retaliate? Yeah. Wait, wait. I hope you to agree or disagree. But I want to respond retaliate. Retaliate? Yeah. I hope you don't do conjecture or conflama.

Do you like war? Maybe. Why? Well, guess where I'm going. Where? Miami. Oh, that's right. I'm going to see.

Okay. I'm putting this out there. You listening? Is this thing on? I'm going to see a Svetllana lab it looks like laboda so let's just say laboda i've been calling it laboda well she did an italian but every year they do an italian special they've only done two but um in her italian version of her name is laboda so let's just call her that so laboda laboda is definitely sexier it's labada labada it's weird such a weird

thing to say anyways um so she's doing a concert She's coming to LA but we're in Poland Is that Warsaw, right? Yeah, what is that? She's coming to LA but we're in Poland Because we're busy I just got invited to, Matteo had an extra ticket For like a bear thing on a cruise

And I was like, I would love to go get drunk with a bunch of bears Of course we're working I literally thought they were grizzly bears That's what I thought Like bear traps, like hunting on a boat I would love to go get drunk with a bunch of bears. Of course we're working. I literally thought there were grizzly bears. That's what I thought. I was like a bear. What are you going to like bear traps and like hunting on a boat with bears. I love the bears.

And you know, I'm not a bear, but I'm an ally. And so I'm like the straight girl. You're a bear admirer. Yes. Yeah. At a bear club or a bear event. I'm the straight girl at a gay event.

Totally. I'm like penis necklaces. I have like little bear necklaces. It's your bachelor party. You're screaming. Yeah. I showed up with some fettuccine Alfredo. I'm like, let's eat, boys.

Yeah, let's eat. Bears love food, diva. But bears are nice, funny. They love drag. And they're body positive. That's a great generalization. I think they are. You've never been jilted by a bear, clearly.

No. Do people get jilted by bears? Are you saying that hairy people hairy people are all nice no i'm saying people who go to bear events okay yeah people who want to go they want fun disco and you know what there is no mass time for master mask at a bear event it's like we all look like construction workers but we are fags yeah and let's have fun with it totally we're all it's all like it's like um it's the zoo mama let's have a laugh yes i love bear events for that reason but anyway just we don't we have no listen through the rest of the

year you and i what do we get back from tour mid-december you don't know i think we have most of january off don't just say that aloud don't just say that i promise you they'll hear you i promise to you no i promises mama promises. Mama promises. We got to do. We'll do the pod and stuff, but like we won't be traveling. We won't be exerting ourselves. And I promise you, they're going to hear you and they're going to come make us work. I'm like an abusive husband who's like, baby, you shouldn't have made me angry. You know how I get.

Well, you shouldn't have said you had time off because then I wouldn't have made you work. I've been saying no to a lot of things. I've said no to some really crazy paying things too because i'm trying to be more like no are you are you making a conscious effort to enjoy time alone or are you just um padding your schedule so that you can be more present at your gigs i have been because of touring the makeup company the motel my bar in mil There are just things that I've been like not present enough for and I should really be there And so next year is gonna be about YouTube and the pod with you and uh, but like girl We can't be running all over the place anymore, but I love to tour Mary

I think by the end of the year you and I will have actually been out of our homes more than six months Are we in selective service? No, touring you love to tour but you go to hell balance i'm interested in balance yeah it's a funny thing um it's not very relatable or um but uh when i hear people like janet jackson and like um you know mega huge crazy rich stars yeah who can have anything tom jones tom jones um uh sigfriedfried and Roy. Right. One of that, he got eaten by the lion. Did he really? Was it Siegfried or Roy? Do you like magic?

Not really. Okay. I got to tell you something. Why? The Property Brothers, who I did- They're doing magic now? No. So one of them, before they did Renovation, one of them I believe wanted to be a model,

and the other one wanted to do close-up magic. And I have to tell you- No, no And I have to tell you, I love magic. We got to think of another name besides close-up magic. Do you know what that's called? What? Sleight of hand. Pickpocketing. Close-up magic is either pickpocketing or showing your weenie.

The other day, I sat here and ate some weed. And I watched somebody's cruise ship magic show with a bunch of birds. I sat here just like this. I looked like in The Shining when Dick Halloran gets that Shining call in bed and he's like, you look like the parents in Midsommar. Girl, totally, totally.

But magic is so cool when done well. When done well, it's amazing. The right music, the right lighting, the right costuming, my God. And you gotta think, the lifetime of practice to do these things and make them seamless. I know. I can't even zip an invisible zipper.

It's crazy though, but it's one of those things that it has to be perfect or it is completely bad. You know what I mean? I know. Say Gabby Douglas does a whip back to a triple full. Maybe she has some bent knees, but she still lands it and takes one small step back. Right. Still did it.

That's not magic. Magic, if you see the trick, it's all done and the illusion is wrapped and you're a fraud and you fail and you're done forever. Well, and this was a show centered around birds doing some of the magic. Animal slavery. The animals don't have top hats and magic wands.

Oh, thank God. I'm saying, let's bring this lady up here. Can I see your wedding ring? And then the bird flies away and later they find it in her pocket. How do they do that? Well, that's what I'm saying. It's already the variables of human error. Now you're adding animal error and audience interaction.

Listen, I'm never going to do magic. Please don't. I'm never going to probably see a magic show magic show good but shout out to the magic people david blaine um uh david copperfield all the david david silver david silver um david attenborough he does a lot of bird magic and um yeah just everybody named david good job david attenborough is that the animal guy? No, he was, yes. The BBC. He talks about like, this animal is dead and blah, blah, blah. This is the spotted dick-feathered Worthington

and native to the... Interesting. Yes. Tell me something that you've... No, no, we're not done. I'm still talking. Excuse me, sorry. I want you to tell me about...

Madeline Ash. What do you to tell me about... Madeline Ash. What do you think about The Whale? Like it's an animal? No. The movie from Darren Aronofsky in which Brendan Fraser dons an enormous fat suit to play a gay man who is obese and it's called The Whale. Are you kidding me? No. I would love to see it.

Okay. I know that's a problem Why is it a problem? Well I don't think that People are Probably encouraged To wear fat suits

For comedic effect At this juncture I don't think it's a comedy I'm pretty sure it's a drama Are you kidding? I'm not kidding Okay now I'm actually More interested

Okay It's based on a play I believe I love Listen I saw this play In college called Fat Pig have you read this play I love that name it's about It's called Fat Pig and one of the major things in it

Is this girl she's big and She's dating a guy who's thin and it's sort of like Her I can't watch that But it's her basically this guy is pretty Good to her and but she's bringing in her Own like assumptions of like She has this whole monologue where she's like you know When we're together I know how people look at us that you're skinny and i'm fat and i know exactly you know

and she talks about like i love you and like i would lose weight for you if like you know and he's he doesn't really want it right anyway it's a very powerful play when there's when a girl especially a young girl say middle school elementary school whatever you know we've talked about the don wiener thing if they're getting bullied for their weight i almost can't it's like it's like a horror movie where i can't look at it i know it affects me so viscerally that i i like i like oh this is how wars start because people get so angry they want to just kill and like dismember and like rip the skin off of people well i mean we're the most vulnerable and open to suggestion and influence when we're young. And that's why things like that are so hard to deprogram

because they hit when you were just a silly putty blob. And so everything makes an impact. It's so wild. It sinks in. How are children and young people so cruel? So unbelievably cruel. If I had a fat child, they would i swear to god i would do everything i could possibly do to make sure that can you do you can't go to school with them

i mean i can't go to school with them i think i would be like listen what are you gonna tell them if they're like oh i want to be a model i'd be like you know what there are very very skinny models there are very very big models and everything in between we can you can totally do it okay and then in the world's like some kid called me fat i would be like well people are all different sizes but what if they said but what if they said um actually six boys cornered me in the the bathroom oinking called me a fat pig and then peed on me well then i would be in prison because i'd have to shoot kids. There you go. Now we're talking. The kids are awful. They're so fucking rotten. I know.

But you know what, though? This is a call to the parents out there. And I'm not a parent. If you have a kid and you find out that they are the bully or making fun of someone, you need to come down like a hammer. Yeah. And we need to talk about Kevin. You need to talk about Kevin. And not just like punishment, like consequences. down like a hammer yeah and talk we need to talk about kevin you need to talk about kevin and not

just like punishment like consequences tell them why they are really infringing on someone's happiness and how damaging like this is like you know i've never been more ashamed of you you know yeah but they my parents tried that with me and what were you saying to kids well i wasn't doing i was just i was just you know getting naked in class and doing the hoochie coochie on the desk I just always think we're all animals I don't think there's any No parenting style is the best And nobody knows how to do it right

Isn't that scary? That's why I don't want to have kids I'm like I know I will fuck this up We all love to be like I'm going to do everything my parents did Guess what your parents said I'm going to do everything my parents did wrong We're all trying to

undo the errors of the previous generation by making more errors in the process I can't wait for that big bomb or that asteroid to hit us and we all go bye bye the human race is corny tired and played out the human race is tired

Armageddon is wired the whale Darren Aronofsky the wrestler, Black Swan You know what? The human race is tired. Armageddon is wired. The whale? The whale. Darren Aronofsky of The Wrestler, Black Swan, Requiem for a Dream. But there was some controversy because I believe he was quoted as saying, well, it was hard to find a fat actor. There are no fat actors exist. You know, it's like, mama, we get it.

You needed a star to sell the movie, to put on the fat suit, to make the movie. That's how Hollywood works. It's a 2022 American psychological drama. Oh, I thought this was an old movie. No, the whale. Let's see what it's about. I believe. 600 pound middle-aged Chris, or Charlie, tries to reconnect with his 17 year old daughter. The two grew apart after Charlie left his family for another man who later died.

Charlie then went on to binge eat out of pain and guilt which resulted in his current appearance wow yeah brandon frazier coming back and listen i love brandon frazier you too i read an article but he was a men's health magazine once i believe and he was talking about basically he got excused and excised from his career because of unwanted sexual advances and the consequence of staying up for himself at least that's what the article is about yeah crazy crazy hollywood is nasty boots nasty boots and it's look it's right here we're right here right over there we are right in the heart of it you can smell the shit of it you know about that song into the thick of it yeah no what is that? It's from TikTok.

Into the thick of it. People keep trying to get me to do TikToks and I can't. I won't. I don't want to. It's fine. I've seen your TikToks. I think you're curving your own path. See?

I'm a trailblazer. Can I show you a song? Please. Do you want to show me a song? Well, yeah. I'm going to play it for you. You're going to be like, oh, cool. Okay. Cool.

This is very popular on TikTok right now. If you like to talk to tomatoes, if a squash can make you smile, if you like to waltz with potatoes, up and down the produce aisle. So that's what they're doing on TikTok. Okay, okay. And that's it. Okay, I have some incredible news for you. I believe, it is my tinfoil hat theory that TikTok is undeniable proof that this is, what do you call it?

The remix civilization. The remix. That the world, the world isn't ending, mama. She ended it quite a while ago. In TikTok, TikTok is just showing us all what happened. Do you know what I mean? No. But it sounds good.

And so I'm trying to be like, hmm. Everything. It's all mixed up. Like when people say, oh, this kind of TikTok, as in little enclaves or sub-genres, they're like, oh, well, where'd you find that? Oh, I was just cruising for, you know, Japanese amputee, 600 pound pro wrestling TikTok.

The whale. Yeah, the whale. But that's way too general. My TikTok is, because you know, you accept the love you believe you deserve on TikTok. Yeah, okay. I get bird TikToks, makeup. And recently I watched a bunch of like Japanese smart home.

Wait, is it the thing where the girl, the boyfriend leaves and then she unboxes? You know who got me on this? Eden. Yeah. She showed me, she like pointed my face at the thing and it was three minutes long. Of course, I watched it in rapt, unwavering, unflinching attention. She did like bird box, eyes open. I was literally, she's like, you're going to love this.

Yeah. And she's like, look at it. But it's always, it starts with like, it's a pantomime of like husband leaving and she has messy hair, glasses and her house is a mess. And then it's a speed staged cleaning of her own home. It's not only that. Everything has a gadget. Oh,

she opens the door. It's filled to a closet. There's probably 500 boxes in it. And then she, it's a razor open display, what it is, how it works, install it,

move on next for like three minutes. It was insane. It's really insane. Crazy. And also they can see that I have to wait Till my boyfriend is gone So that I can get my life together Have we talked about Overload

Like cleaning overload TikTok No Mary fucking Dugan Mary fucking Dugan Overload It's cleaning TikTok It's not butts

Thank god There's no sex on TikTok That'd be disgusting Oh Fucking A Honestly we need limitations We do It's not dick talk

It's TikTok It would be centib TikTok. It would be Cenobites. It would be Cenobites. Fish hooks in the face. Fish hooks. Exposed skin. Chattering teeth. Blood dripping. Bones sticking out.

Yeah. But overload TikTok, it's like people like, hey, thanks for my 100,000 subscribers. Today we're going to do a really big overload. They'll plug their toilet with a bunch of sponges and they will pour gallons of undiluted cleaning product into the toilet. So there's so much foam and bubbles and then they'll put on gloves and the TikTok will be them scrubbing the shit out of their toilet. And I saw a comment that was like, so are we just playing in our toilets now? I told you it's the remix. It's the end in time. Mama, it's the remix. A comment that was like, so are we just playing in our toilets now? I told you.

It's the remix. It's the end in time. Mama, it's the remix. It has been over. It's over. So don't worry about nothing. This episode's also sponsored by TikTok. Yeah.

Hey, if you've got three minutes to spare and you want to unpack some things, go to a TikTok. It's so... Remember the good old days when all we had to worry about was the TikTok? Or kicking a shoe. Kicking a shoe when your outfit changes. What happened to that? TikTok used to be a lot more wholesome. And now it's... 30 ways to use volcanic lava to incorporate a boyfriend into your toilet.

Like, what? It's so... It's just all jumbled. I don't know. Listen, if you... I'm not complaining, though. I'm not complaining. I'm not either. I'm not know. Listen, if you... I'm not complaining, though. I'm not complaining. I'm not either.

I'm not either. And you know what? I enjoy it. No, good. I wish I enjoyed it. I can't get into it. I used to be like, oh, I have to figure out a good idea. I have to like...

Oh, no. No, no, no. You just do stuff. You just do it. Yeah, but that's the social media. That's the key to any social media. Because now that we got in at a good time and we got kind of... We got locked in at a low rate.

Super low rate. Fix low rate, fixed mortgage. Yeah. No, no bank shenanigans. And so we were able to just kind of like, Oh, pick it up when you want and put it down when you want. You know, there's not, there's no pressure or anything. And, um, and it's just the followers go up and it's whatever. Now, if you're like a drag queen, unless you're doing Hollywood level transitions and you have an MBA from more or Wharton school ofarton School of Business It's like so tough

If you're not actually doing Plastique Tiaras TikTok You might as well Jump off a building You just go face down Into a dumpster And never come back Her videos are unreal

I know But you know that Sofia Coppola does them now Mary She's got She's got Catherine Bigelow Rebel Wilson

Yes On sound Yeah Her sound mixing from She has John Williams The composer Script by Diablo Cody She's got She's got Catherine Bigelow Rebel Wilson Yes On sound Yeah Sound mixing from She has John Williams The composer Script by Diablo Cody Like I don't know

How she's doing it I don't know I don't know Miramax is behind it all She's like Totally It's crazy This is Netflix

New big streamer Dreamworks presents Dreamworks presents With a collaboration With Pixar The hottest two minutes Of your life Yeah

They're gonna show A bunch of her TikToks As a short before a Pixar movie It'll be like you go to see Up And then in the beginning it's her like And she's the original upside down smile girl And she also does this I can't do it because I'm not attractive like her But you know that

Yeah hot sexy hot sexy Nudity and then just nudity and it's not just nudity it's a the sound effect is a bomb going off yeah the screen shakes yeah yeah and her smile is yes so polite and so pretty and no teeth it's just

and she's like the gaze is like it says so many things without one damn word it's straight through it's wild it's straight through it's wild

it's all happening backstage at fucking Voss Presents the trailer park trailer park extravaganza or whatever Mary she's at an outdoor movie theater

lip syncing for people in their cars and then meanwhile in DreamWorks in the trailer. She's doing M. Night Shyamalan's girl. She gets off stage

at Hamburger Mary's and walks into a movie set to do her TikTok. Meanwhile over at Oh, we got Pete repainting every weekend repainting the screen. Drilling.

Lighting. Trying to order food and then two grizzled hats sit in a green hot room. Complaining. Complaining. Why can't I reach my drink? Why can't I reach my drink? My God. Wait, wait, wait.

So the Cenobites, the Cenobites. I just want to say one last thing. Uh-huh. I think that they just needed more. I wanted to know more about them. I will say this. I think it's just needed more I wanted to know more about them I will say this I think it's Hellraiser 3 that's the one that

dives into like who made the boxes and then I think only then do you actually start to get who are these people who are the Cenobites I would love to have

known a little more yeah just give me something I want to know like so obviously you know you come to it's like a trick the game the box is a trick

it's like a you know the puzzle is a trick it's like whoops we got you such contract you know, you come to, it's like a trick. The game, the box is a trick. It's like, you know, the puzzle is a trick. It's like, whoops, we got you. Such contract. You know, I just want to know more. And also, like, the girl, I love when she said, save your voice for screaming. So fun. Fun. She really turned it.

So fun. And it's very, very gory. The throats played open. It was, it was, it was. What about the guy at the end getting turned into a Cenobite? I love that. But you know what I loved? No cheap ass jump scares.

Just brooding, like scary. You know what I mean? Like, like. I screamed when she was at that playground. And she's going around in a circle and you just see one in the background. Damn. Yeah, it's fierce. It's fierce.

You know, although they need to start lighting these movies because mama, we're all in the dark here. just see one in the background. Oh damn. Yeah, it's fierce. It's fierce. Although they need to start lighting these movies because we're all in the dark here. We're all in the dark. And she has bangs. It could be anything. I have a lantern

in my living room trying to see these movies that are just all in black. It's like, what is this? Found footage. I'm doing, I'm at the doc,

I'm having the eye doctor come over to dilate my pupils so I can watch the movie. Everybody's on Twitter and everybody's like, I can't see it. It's like, no shit.

It's like, why don't we put a light? It's a movie. Don't they involve lights? I guess not. They shoot these scenes in the daytime and then make them darken post.

And there were some hot men in that fucking movie. Well, they're better. Her brother who dies first. Are you kidding me? Are you fucking, Corbin Blue,

not Corbin Blue. Corbin, that's it. Corbin Dallas. Corbin Dallas. Corbin Dallas. Randy Blue. Randy Blue presents

Sean, in incorporation with Sean Cody. I was like, am I into S&M? Because I'm ready to watch Corbin Dallas Corbin Dallas Randy Blue Randy Blue presents Sean In a cooperation With Sean Cody I was like Am I into S&M Cause I'm ready to watch These chains tear his skin off Well

Clive Barker is famously Very gay Really Yeah And there's all gay shit Going on Makes sense This was actually

You know what This isn't even Hellraiser This was originally This is originally One of your friends Only fans And they just put Some chains in it

They just put A surveillance camera At the eagle after hours and they're like, greater delights await. Want some poppers? Yeah. All right. Well, thank you for joining us again and goodbye. Goodbye. Bye.