The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - A Paranormal New Year's Eve with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: December 30, 2025

On a balmy Los Angeles New Year’s Eve, as the city chimed with hope and regret, the Podcast Ghost of 2025 came gliding through the lamplit air to visit Trixie and Katya, its countenance stitched of hours spent listening to the pod in the netherworld. Awakened from their slumber, it showed them hours upon hours squandered on movie reviews and anecdotes and puns that curdled into cacophonic comedy, yet also tender moments of kindness and humanity. With solemn cheer it bade them look upon the coming dawn of 2026, urging them to spend their mirth like alms, to temper their razor-sharp wit with warmth so that joy might not merely sparkle but endure during these dark times. And when the spirit faded with the last bell’s echo, they awoke resolved, hearts aglow as hearths on Christmas morning, determined to walk the new year bearing goodwill and cheer to all whom will hear. From all of us here at Bald, LLC, we wish you and yours a fu**ing fabulous new year! Get a free can of OLIPOP! Buy any 2 cans of Olipop in store, and we'll pay you back for one! OLIPOP is sold online (drinkolipop.com + Amazon) and available in almost 50,000 retailers nationwide, including Costco, Walmart, Target, Publix, Whole Foods, Kroger and HEB. Head to: https://drinkolipop.com/BALD To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit: https://Hims.com/BALD Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://trixieandkatya.com/#tour To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemotel.com Listen and Watch Anywhere! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast Follow Trixie: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemattel.com TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@trixie⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/trixiemattel Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/trixiemattel Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/trixiemattel   Follow Katya: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.welovekatya.com TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@katya_zamo Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/welovekatya Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/katya_zamo   #TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On a recent fall trip to the wild, wind-swept majesty of Nova Scotia's rugged coast, I stayed in a home I booked through Airbnb. It was so breathtaking that I felt myself carried away on the briny scent of the Atlantic, the low murmur of crimson and copper leaves swirling along ancient cliffs, and that hushed enchantment of stepping into a seaside cottage that warms the soul. And somewhere between my twilight wanderings along the weather-beaten shoreline and my dinner with a local fisherman, a thought swept over me like a tide. I, too, could host my own home on Airbnb.

My place could be welcoming travelers while I'm away, perhaps even helping to fund the New Year's voyage I'm planning to Greece, where I dream of greeting January beneath the white stone chapels and the shimmering acheon sky. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca.combe.combeau. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and sip.

Play. Post. Taste. view and enjoy via rail love the way I think we should have a town hall I want to have a town hall I want to have a town hall I don't know about what I do what all's fair

oh if it's not a town hall it's not it's not it's not adversarial it's celebratory right the dicks who did this and the cunt's responsible right So last month, that's week And that cunt's responsible My crusty

My crusty pussy Last week on the pod I told you that I would be willing To tell you about girl I've been waiting Now before you laugh I haven't even eaten I want to tell you

I heard about this show being a It's a stage show And I heard about it being in Los Angeles And I said I want to go and I checked for tickets and the only I could go was December 2nd last night. So I said, I'm going to go. Now, I want to acknowledge that

I've been having some health issues. Bladder issues. So I couldn't wake up and be on a red carpet at 8 a.m. this morning for the Hollywood Reporter, Women 100, luncheon, bruncheon. You're not a woman. I did want to go.

You're not a woman. But that's why I thought I have to go in drag. I can't show up at 8 a.m. out of drag at the women's luncheon. They'll think you're like there to serve hors d'oeuvres. But me on the right car, I was just like, 8 a.m. That's abusive.

But it's not waking up, it was like, I don't feel good. I had a camera in my urine, my pussy yesterday. Like, I can't. Pull the camera out of my urethra and head down to the women's brunch. Like, I can't. You know what I mean? I can't. The cuntz.

And the cunt's responsible. So I saw that, um, you stole fizzy lifting drinks. You get nothing. Good day, sir. Willy Wonka. Oh, the, there's a musical? No, no, no. This is, I was just saying it.

It's from the movie. That's Gene Wilder. That's Gene Wilder. We can't do vocal stims in the pod. What the fuck is, what is this? NPR. Speaking of, have you ever been on NPR? Sorry?

Have you ever been on NPR? I think. I have a couple times. And whenever it airs, I guess I don't realize how many people listen to it. The phone blows up. Everybody listens to NPR. Yeah.

Why don't we get NPR numbers? This is fresh air. Terry Gross. Do you listen to Fresh Air, Terry Gross? I love Fresh Air with Terry Gross. Democracy Now, Democracy Now.org, The War and Peace Report. I'm Amy Goodman. Do you watch Democracy Now?

I highly encourage you to do so. I listen to... It's a watch. I'm a big bat pod Save America faggot. Okay. So I love that. I'm sure they'd be happy to have you on. Thursday, I'm doing a live show with John Lovett.

It's a nice to typewriter. Love it or lead... Love it or lead... So I got tickets to the stage version of Paranormal Activity. Okay, what is this? I was like, I've never seen a horror play. I love the Paranormal Activity series. I love that those movies.

You like found footage? And I thought, all that greens. And I thought, if there's a stage version, it has all these amazing reviews. Be like, oh my God, it's so scary. And I said, oh, I would love to be scared. So I went online. I looked up tickets and I like a good ticket seat. I'm sorry.

If I, I always sort the seats by closest first. I like to sit as close as I can. I want to see tears. I want to see the real, you know. You want to get spit on by Jonathan Groff. Yes. And some people like to sit for their back. If I can get an affordable seat in the front, I will go for it.

What's affordable? So get this. Mateo says, well, I was in the mezzanine in the middle. My tickets were like $240. I don't know how this happened. No, that's paranormal. I got the front row two center tickets for $160 each. Okay.

I don't know how it happened. Faggot. I don't know how to happen. Maybe they kind of hacked my iPhone and saw pictures of my fat cock. And they were like, let's give her, she just had a camera up her pussy. Right. We need to throw her a bone. Well, that's paranormal activity.

It's above normal, for sure. No, the camera. Oh. Found footage. That's Periscope. Remember Periscope? I do. You on drugs speaking French on Periscope.

Oh, my God. What a time. Well, not only that, fully psychotic. I know. Fully psychotic. And full sprench. With urgency, with 100% seriousness. Like, you're in actors on actors.

And I was down by MacArthur Park. You know. The girls used to show up at your house. That was way, way, way back. That was in Boston. I was just thinking about that actually They were like hey we're down the street bringing you pizza I was like weird

Really weird But I'm the dumb ass who like You know would live stream outside my home And I lived above a bar No that's that's she deserved it What was she wearing? Was she drinking? Thank you Okay

Thank you So paranormal activity So I go front seat I go and I show my thing and they go Lucky you Your seat's right in the front The very middle So me and my boyfriend

Walk out the Oh yeah Hello So we sit and it's starting. I'm all excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. Lights go down.

So it's an original story. It's nothing like paranormal activity other than it's a couple in a home where paranormal events are happening. Oh. And so it starts with this. I don't give away much. It starts with this couple who moved to London maybe two weeks ago from Chicago. And it's sort of inferred the guys on the phone of this mom being like, yeah, she's doing better. The female in the play, Lou, depressed, seeing things.

Postpartum. Seeing things. No, she hadn't had a baby. They dream of having a baby. They're trying to furnish a nursery because they want to have a baby. She's on depression medicine. And it starts a little like he's like, you think you heard something. You should take your medicine today.

Which in movies, ghost movies, when no one believes you, which would be the natural thing. Yeah. If you called me and said you were seeing ghosts, I would not believe you were seeing ghosts. No, no, no, no. And right you would be. Right, you would be. Because in the play, they just moved to London. And they're staying in a flat.

And because paranormal things were happening in Chicago where they lived. And they kind of set up in the play, she's like, I know you don't believe me. This has been happening my whole life. And like an entity has been after me. I feel it in presence my whole life all the time. And it's gone better and worse. And right now it's been worse. And it starts with him not really believing it.

I'm kind of spoiling part of the play. And so if you want to see primal activity to play, just the magic of knowing nothing is amazing. Okay. But for those of you will never see it or just want to know the tea. And I don't want to say too much. But I will. Yeah. So you're not going to go.

No. Today was, I think today is the last day they're in L.A. They're going to London. They go to West Day. I'm going to go to London to see it. Worth it. No, no. First class flight.

It's worth it. It was amazing. Tell me, tell me, tell me. Tell me, tell me. So it starts with a few things like water turning on or like, oh, the Alexa turned on its own. Like the power's out, huh? Weird things. As a couple, you can tell they're in turmoil because they want to have a baby.

Things start happening. And what I thought was going to happen was him sort of not believing her for a lot of the play. early on something happens that's so crazy where he comes home from work and she thinks have been happening

when she's alone the lights are out she's freaked out and he goes to like did you take your medicine today and that turns into a fight because if you're a woman who's being haunted by real ghosts

and your husband thinks that you're just a little sad thank you you know women being like you should get in your meds you're being crazy is your time in the month right

yeah you're hallucinating so I'm just gonna tell you the stage magic in the show is so unbelievable and so chilling I've never been so scared in my life I've never been more scared

in my whole life no movie nothing is there's a part where they get in this fight and she puts on this this robe and she's looking for her slippers and she's like

gonna go to bed because they get in this bite thank you and he's on the phone with his mom and he's like you know mom whatever like yes it's like

the mom is very southern and very overstepping and you know he's like you know I don't appreciate you talking about her like that whatever and she comes

back downstairs in her robe and she's got her hood pulled up and she's all covered with a blanket. She's got a pouty and he's like, I'm sorry. I hear you. I'm sorry. That was wrong on me. Let's just have a fresh start. He's talking to her and she turns to the kitchen away from the audience and she's cutting vegetables with the knife and he's like talking and he's like, you know, I read about this paranormal event that happened where these people swore that they were haunted and their animal died and that's how they found out that there was a gas leak in the home and they were all hallucinating. It's crazy. It wasn't actually paranormal. It was a gas leak.

And then the stage is like a dollhouse. It's two levels, bedrooms or whatever. And this was so scary. He's talking from the second level, she's in the kitchen. From the second level, you see her pop her head out and go, babe,

who are you talking to? I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. And the whole audience goes, I mean, it was a 2,000 people go, fierce. And he turns and it's her,

standing there, the blanket drops, she's gone. Oh, I love it. It was so fucking scary. Sorry, scream. The sound design was so low rumbling. When things like that happened, big musical stings with blackouts that were so fucking scary. Oh, that's, God. It's a two-hour

play with one intermission between each hour. So things like, that's one of the first scares that makes you like, oh shit. So then they have a ghost hunter. I'm like ruining the play. Is that okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, come. So then it's sort of like almost comedic because now he believes her yeah and she's lived this her whole life

and you know her she her parents died in a um fire when she was younger and she escaped the fire and that's sort of the impetus of her seeing this entity was after her parents died she's like this thing is with her right and he's she never told him she didn't he didn't think she would marry her he'd marry her so then they call an investigator the parental investigator comes and sets up a bunch of equipment and then like an event happens again that is so fucking crazy you want to know yes no I don't I'm just gonna go to bed she tells the story of her parents dying

and you know they think they're talking to that ghost that her parents they're not that gets really crazy and scary there's a part in the second act that scared me to my fucking core and if you guys are going to see the play do not listen to this point okay tune out

so his mom is overbearing Southern mother who's very religious the whole play there's sort of like his mom's a Bible thumper and his mom's like maybe your wife needs to pray you know yeah yeah he's on FaceTime, and he rigs up FaceTime at the beginning of the play on the TV that faced the audience. So whenever they're on FaceTime with the mom, they can see the mom. Okay.

And the actress is Avi backstage doing the call. Gotcha. Who is amazing. The acting was amazing. I'm in the front row watching tears, watching all of it. It was like, these people are television actors. It was serious. Oh, he's on the phone with his mom.

And his mom is like, it's getting a little serious on the phone. The mom's getting a little mean. And the pivot is so small to his mom being like, why don't you eat a bullet, Jimmy? Why don't you kill yourself and kill your wife while you're, I mean, it's, it's, gets so scary and then the door rings and he goes to open the front door he's all the time he thinks he's talking to his mom on the phone he opens the front door his mom shows up surprise i'm here i use my miles so then you're like oh my god so now she's here and before the end of the second act before the end of the second act the ghost hunter runs out of the house and it's like if

you have anyone in your life you love you will not let them come to this house because you're fucked you've moved from chicago the ghost has followed you're fucked so his mom showing up he's like, oh my God, mom, you've got to get out of here, right? And the mom means well, she's super Christian. She's like, I just want you to pray. She sits with them. He's crying. She's standing across the room.

She's like, I think having Bibles in the house will even make this worse. Like, this is bad. And the mom and him are crying and praying and he's feeling better. So during the phone call, at the end of the phone call on the face time, she, after she says, bite a bullet and all that to her son. And he's like freaking out. He goes, she goes, on the phone, she goes, why don't you answer the door, Jimmy? and the doorbell rings. So that's when he answers his phone

into his real mom. Scary. So then the mom is holding him and they're crying and he's sobbing and it's this moment of like, I'm not really religious, but like his belief that things could get better. He's crying with his mom.

His mom is really religious. And they're hugging and he was the audience are like, thank God. And then she looks at him and goes, answer the door Jimmy and the doorbell rings. It was so fucking scary. It was the most scared I've ever been in my life. And he goes and answers the door

and there's no one out there. And the whole time he's walking. to the door, the mom, who obviously is an apparition, is looking at them like, Oh no. It was so scary. He opens the door. It's no one. She stands up and she's like, there's nothing for you out there.

Everything isn't here. And then she says, peekaboo, and she starts going like this. And then the stage magic is so real. She screws peekibu and pulls out her fucking eyes. Oh, baby. Girl, you have to go to this. I need to see this. I won't ruin the ending because that's really the magic of what it all is.

but I've never been so scared in my life Wow, this sounds incredible It almost went back around the way to not fun Because mind you, I live in a haunted house Sure So by the way, there's development on that Tell it. Roz, the ghost hunter, text me

I did some research We contacted a ghost called Evan in my house There was a guy Oh, go watch the YouTube video If you haven't, thank you Nick. $13. Always be selling, $45. $45, yeah.

Yeah. You want to do with the... I'm an O-F, an OF where I just bought ghosts. Um, tried it. Tried it. So if you, if you've skipped ahead, this is the moment where now you didn't miss the plot. Thank you so much for inviting me, by the way. Like you would have, you actually would have loved it.

But I'm afraid you would have been in the front, like, you would have been too into it. No. I would have been jerking it with both hands, jerking the people next to me. Roz calls me and says, hey, and you know that guy, that bearded guy that you keep seeing in your house? I said, yeah, she said, there was a guy whose last name was Evans, who was a guitar tech. And he had spent some time in your house. and after he'd left her house sometime later he was on drugs

and got gunned down with the police so how about that so I go home to that house I get in bed go to sleep, slept great but I don't fear the ghost no that movie was that play was the most scared of everyone in my life

wow that is impressive kudos to them oh I hope I didn't ruin it is it illegal to illegal and the stage magic of props falling off the walls shadows

sound effects. That seems difficult. It was so chilling. Oh, I love that shit. It was so chilling. It's wicked. Found dead. In the beginning of the play, they introduced this bell that is like, supposed to be like, oh, if this bell is supposed to be like a bell that people use

for the dead to contact the living. And that's on stage the whole play and you're like waiting for it to ring at some point. It gets so escalated. It was so scary. By the end of it, I was like shook. I was like having a blood pressure. Full body chills Full body chills

Was that too much to talk about? What are you talking about? I feel like I don't understand What you're talking about? The author's going to be like People don't want to know They could just tune out Or pay $13.

And that was honestly I skipped the meat of the show Is this people who are one year married Trying to In a possible situation The drama is the meat of the show Yeah It was a little bit Stephen King

Where you care so deeply About the couple That's what makes these scenarios scary Yeah Things like her sleeping on stage And the blanket Getting Offer on its own I don't even know how they are doing these things.

Not to mention, there's whole parts of the show where it's a two-story dollhouse, basically, and he's walking around stage with just a flashlight. Her appearing in different places and not remembering any of it. Ooh, baby! Word for word. There's something magical about the first true breath of winter air during the holidays. The way it slips into your lungs like a song. you forgot you knew. Up in the rugged serenity of Newfoundland's jagged coastline, where cliffs

brood over the Atlantic and the sky wears a perpetual shimmer of pearl and frost, I stayed in a weather-beaten but perfect cottage that felt out of time. It was the kind of place where the wind itself seems to tell stories, where the scent of sea salt mingles with wood smoke, and where the quiet is so profound, it feels like the world is holding its breath just for you. And somewhere between my trek into town for dinner and the soft drum of ocean waves against the ancient rocks, it struck me. I could be hosting my own home on Airbnb. My place is sitting empty while I wander these silver coasts, but it could be working for me. While I'm off tracing the edges of the North Atlantic and befriending every rugged fisherman in sight, my home could be someone else's

winter sanctuary, a slightly warmer chapter in their holiday adventure. And honestly, with my next journey already inked into my calendar, a Christmas pilgrimage to Germany's Chris Crandlemark, markets, it simply makes sense. And as I wander through Munich, wrapped in scarves and snowfall, my home could be helping finance the guest room model I've been dreaming of, all while welcoming travelers of its own. And it's not just me. You too can host your home on Airbnb. It's a practical way to earn a little extra money when you're away, letting your space become part of someone else's travel log. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca. slash host.

Today's bald and beautiful is brought to you by Hymns. According to the National Institutes of Health, as many as 30 million men in the U.S. experience ED, and it's more common than a bad night's sleep. The good news is, Hymns makes getting access to treatment simple

so you can feel like yourself again without stress or awkwardness because confidence should not be complicated. Through Hymns, you can skip the guesswork and get access to care that actually fits your lifestyle. Straightforward and designed around you. This is not one-size-fits-all care that forgets about you in the waiting room.

This is your health and your goals being put first with real medical providers making sure you get what you need to get results. Hymns offers access to ED treatments in so many ways, ranging from trusted generics that cost 95% less than brand names to hardmints if prescribed. To get simple online access to personalized affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more, visit Hymns.com slash bald. That's Hymns.com slash bald for your free online. online visit. Hymns.com slash bald. Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve

or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information. What's the most scary thing you've ever seen? I think probably. I mean, I want to say Candyman by that air. Huh? All fair.

No, I think. I want to say Candyman, but, you know, know what? It's so lame. But Freddie Kruger really, really, really got me. Because I watched that so young. My parents had no restrictions of what we watched as children. So we watched HBO, like we're three, four, five years old, seeing real sex, all these like basically softcore porn, horror movies, traumatizing. And I, like, when you're young, your, your ability to be scared is very deep. Well, the thing about Freddy Kruey. I know he's so. It's so corny, especially the, the sequels are so bad.

They're so, so bad. They get worse and worse as they go. But the dream thing, the premise is so good. The premise is so, so good. Yeah. That you can't, when you go to sleep? Well, do you watch Black Phone 2? No, but is he a ghost in that or something?

Is he a ghost? Can I just, can I just ruin it all for everyone? I'm not going to see that. I'm not going to see it. Black Phone 2 is hard, stiff Christian. propaganda. You're kidding. He starts attacking them in their dreams

like Freddy, them flying around while the awake people are watching them sleep getting slashed and stuff. It's fully Freddy and it's super Jesusy. They're investigating murders at a Christian camp that he had killed people at. The grabber he's called in those movies. And the first black phone was so good.

With the black balloons and the mask. Yes. The first black phone was so good. The second one, I didn't make it all the three. I turned it off. It was too Christian. It's so Christian. That's strange. And I don't mind. Christian because the conjuring is always

like demons verse, they're pretty religious. They use the Bible. Right. But by the way, the last conjuring, oh my God, bring a book. Was that the deli maybe do it? Bring a book. It was the conjuring last rights. It was the most recent one. I don't think I've seen it. It sucks. The pacing is so bad. Have you seen that audio that the drag queens are all doing?

The defiler and I do know your name. You are Balik. Oh, it's so bad. But the gays are I did the Boston Halloween gig with Plain Jane and she did a lip sync to it with this big rubber boobs you are the defiler I just kind of like fagget

I marry the nun the nun do you know that did you know that I went that's one of the only premieres Hollywood premieres I've gone to was the nun and I love those movies so they gave me an invite so I went

and you know you walked the red carpet in exchange for your free ticket I actually felt bad that the actors were in the room while we were watching I was like this isn't good it it sucks so bad it's just there's so filmies

there's nothing to it it's all jump scares. Like when the measure of the movie is just blood pressure, that's not scary. That's jolting. Do you know what I mean? Paranormal activity,

the stage show, almost no jump scares. Thank you. Real built momentum scares. Yeah. Actually, like Candyman, there's, I don't think there's,

there may be two jump scares. And they're not like, actually, they're fake outs. Like a dog or something. You know what I mean? All the, all the really scary stuff happens

in broad daylight. Like, it's not like, You know what I mean? It's like hypnotizing it. That's really like it needs to be scary without. I don't like a jump scare. But I do like a like in this play when the mom is like answered the door and the doorbell rings.

That is scary than anything. Well, that's just scary. And the shining, the kid in the shining when he asks, is there something bad here? That's really scary. Oh, yeah. When somebody says something like that. Do you know what is terrifying? Opening the door and having the, the guy on the bed with the need.

and then the other guy with the bear mat whatever the costume yeah that's a fucking terrible yeah yes that's fucking terrifying

very bad the old lady that's what I felt like when I fucked in drag when I saw myself in the mirror when I saw myself in the mirror I saw myself

getting my dick sucked in a wig and I thought I saw like great party like really I was like when I get on the bathroom when I get on the tub

with my unit on and you tiptoe your gray feet on the dirty tile Oreo cakesters everywhere can't take it can't take it

can't take it Oh, baby. Do you like those holiday zebra cakes? I know. Those little Christmas trees? I do. No. What's your favorite Christmas cookie?

Fina came over for the holiday special, which is out now. And she made her beautiful homemade gingerbread and homemade sugar cookies with royal icing. That bitch can make fucking cookies. I know. When she makes the chocolate chip cookies, I eat them on my ass, put my ass, put my pussy. She pulls them out of the oven and puts kosher salt on top. She eats. I don't even like chocolate chick cookies that much.

To me, like a chips-ahoy, I will never just eat one of those. Gross. No, dry? Yeah. That dry shit? Sick. But you like an Oreo? I mean, yeah, I like an Oreo.

I like a soft out of the oven chocolate chip cookies. Yeah. Classic. Take it out. Put it right in your face. Cucumbars for the eyes. Cucumbum. Wait, what's the, I'm trying to think of what else is scary.

What else is scary? What else is scary? The first conjuring scared me pretty bad. It's just cheap thrills. Really? I watched it in college and I was so scared. Did you watch the paranormal activity where'd they go to the Amish village?

Baby. It's good. It's like the best one. Okay. They're making a documentary. This girl's trying to connect with her family. She's not, she's a no. And she's related to the Amish.

So she's making a documentary staying with them. Very scary. What is the scariest movie ever made? What is the scariest movie? The visit. Oh, when she goes, those are your grandparents. That is like one of the scariest moments. Boop-boop-bo-bo-bo-bo-d-do.

Those aren't your grandparents. Yeah. Yeah, that's... But it's kind of a slow burn. Ooh. But then she, like... She turns out to be like a... Yeah.

Yeah, like a vampire kind of. And listen, old people... I'm fine with old people being crazy. Yeah, and also... It's fine. It's agist. Yeah, like, you know what? I was thinking about, like, barbarian. It's kind of like, ageist anti-woman in a way.

It's like, oh my God, what? She's a crazy lady naked. That's crazy. Bo-b-b-bub. that's me right that's me just drink from my bottle everything will be fine um so what else is the tea with you oh i wanted to talk oh i just thought about it in the parking lot oh i just went to um did you go home for thanksgiving yes that's what i wanted to say what did you do okay so i went to my sisters in Atlanta to visit her um your sister lives in Atlanta yeah she moved there yeah she's been there for

a little while she just got a new house direct flight from LA oh yeah thank you hello Hello. Wait, something happened on the flight. Hello. What happened? It was, I was, I got surprised. Okay. It's very relatable.

This, I got like. Like you got on the plane and everyone had those hats and blowers and said, Surprise. No, they just booed me. They just booed and they made me go to the back of the plane. Yeah. And you were like someone coming out on Mori. They were booing and you were like,

shut up, shut up. Y'all fake. I took my top off. No, I, um, it was a... Screaming, y'all fake while you get on the plane. Y'all fake. You are not the father. I, it was a, like a, it was a, not a laydown bed, but it was something, it was the in-between level of first class that I've never experienced.

I know this is going to be great with the listeners. Like, it was like a reclining seat. If you don't start flying in coach. The coach. You do need to do time of hall. Steerage. I need to get in a I need to get with the crates

with the dogs Yeah No no it was like You know how sometimes It's like first glass And it's just You know It's up in the front

The UK A lawn chair Where they waterboard you A fucking lawn chair It's like Can I have a glass and wine They just throw it in your face Not even

It's crazy They're like Did you want to Coke day out And then they hear your accent Like You want Yeah

No bitch I don't want Warm Soda A thimble of warm soda that tastes like shit. Anyways, it was a recliner. Right. It was a recliner.

Oh. I loved it. I was smiling the whole way. I was like, love. And I read Missouri. And then I went over my, stayed at my friend David. David, who does Slick It Up, he moved. Love, David. Love Slick It Up.

Shout out to Slick It Up. Shout out to Slick It Up. Shout out to Slick It Up. Shout out to David Mason. He left under the cover of Night like a thief. I've never felt so shocked and betrayed. What do you mean? He left L.A.

under the cover of night like a thief. He moved? He moved. I feel so shocked and betrayed. Where is he now? In Atlanta. Well, can I say if you're, he's a small business owner and a designer and an artist? Doesn't change the fact that my shock and my betrayal are still very well.

They might have better tax breaks for small businesses. It doesn't matter. I'm still shocked and so betrayed. Anyways, it's so funny because all between me and like a lot of my friends, me who will talk about something for about 15 years and never do it, he just like casually mentions, I think I'm going to move to Atlanta next day, But he had a great, he has a great house. He should have consulted with you first.

I feel so shocked and betrayed right now. And you did it at my birthday. Moving to Atlanta. But it was great. I know nobody cares. Ugh, whatever. What about this? Opening a clock store at the mall.

Sucking tick and clock. Sucking tick and clock. That deserves its own kiosk at the mall. Kiyos. You know what I see for you? Being one of those people that's... Ma'am, can I ask you a question? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I just throw up on them.

Or the gold face. The gold face. The gold face? They love to sell the gold face mask. I just want to fix people's cell phones. I just put them in my mouth. Very hopeful. I just put them in my mouth.

I just put them in my mouth. Hey, everybody. My name is Bob the Drag Queen. And I'm on an exchange. And we are the host of sibling rivalry. This is the podcast for two best friends Gab, Talk, Smack, and have a lot of fun with our black queer selves. Yeah, for sure. And, you know, we are family. So we talk about everything, honey, from why we don't like hugs to Black Lives Matter, to interracial dating, to other things, right, Bob?

Yes, and it gets messy, and we are not afraid to be wrong. So please join us over here at Sibling Rivalry available anywhere. Well, anywhere you get your podcast, you can listen and subscribe for free. For free, honey. But wait, my nephews, my sister's children, the sons of my sister. Mama. These motherfuckers are so cute. I don't give a shit about children.

That's well documented. I don't care about children. My new thing is, are adults that great? No, that's true. Human beings are all flops. But these motherfuckers. Oh, you love him. Owen, he's a little man now.

He's growing up. Hold? He's got to be fucking four or five or some shit. I don't know. He's eight or 12, I don't know. He's got to be like, he's three or four or five, six, seven, I don't know. He's like a young man. He's talking, he's moving around.

He's got to, he's got to, we're playing with a lizard that, a motorized lizard that climbs on the wall. We're having a blast. Oh, kids, kids, toys now? Don't even get me. Oh, Mary, if I had a, if I had a remote control lizard. that could climb the wall. Do you know, we had a wooden paddle with a, with a ball and a rubber string.

We had kicked the can. Girl. And I'm not joking. We kicked a can. I was in Kentucky and I was at some friends who have twins. Their children have a 3D printer. I said, I'm sorry. Wait, what?

Do they have a 3D printer? Yes. That's crazy. That's too much. I was like, back in my day, we had Jenga. We never, I didn't have a printer. Any printer. So Benjamin is, Ben is the baby.

He's 11. in months. He's almost a year. Cute. This motherfucker. You love it. I want to put him in the oven. Right.

On $450. Right. And just broil him and eat him. Right. I want to eat. I'm going to eat. There's a lot of great things about babies, the chubby legs. Mary, he's this motherfucker.

The Michelin Man legs. The tiny little toes. The Gerber baby is so ugly by comparison. The razor fingernails. Babies have sharp fingernails. Razor fingernails. They're so small. Comment below.

baby finger adorable baby fingernails are fucking sharp they're dangerous what he thinks to me right i don't see a resemblance yet but not yet you don't think so but look at this look at this motherfucker oh he's so fucking cute you know there's this great age where babies look like old men love that age oh so cute i just want to fucking eat him i just want to eat him up right wait Well, maybe you should visit him and then you can do that. This is me. Right. Have you thought about having more of a presence in his life?

No. Right. Showing up once a year and taking some videos, hardly parenting, you know. Parenting. No, I'm, you know, I am wondering. Take him down to the learning annex and enroll them in some classes. Take him down to the Brooklyn Education Center. You should open some kind of savings account for him.

Oh, Mama. I'm way ahead of you. I'm way ahead of you. Right. I got, I got, I got, I got plans. You're going to will him your bed. I already got him all set. Oh, good.

But not the other one. No, no, no. He's, he's, he's, let me tell you about this motherfucker. I'll keep the nephew talk to a minimum. I think he's mine. My brother's son, my nephew. Right. This motherfucker is going to be present in the United States.

Okay. He's so funny. He's so quick. He's so hysterical. He could probably do it now and do a better job. I know. It's like at, how? He could win.

He should run now. I seriously. he is so smart and he's so funny like at that age it's like six or so they're like he's again he's two or twelve I don't know where he's two and two no he's like yeah yeah six he's so funny I don't remember any child being that funny that young right

I don't know good for him he looks exactly like me which is very suspicious I did not fuck my brother's wife right okay um but your brother looks so much like you this all makes a lot of sense No, he's, he's so cute. He's so cute. My niece, I stopped my home for Thanksgiving and I went to my mom's house and she did something, she does something very Wisconsin that I really appreciate it.

She'd lock you out. No, I'm like, I don't ask for anything. I come over and she just sets up a TV tray with cheese and crackers. It's like, that's all I need. I love that. That's all I need. Yeah, yeah. You don't have to cook.

You know, for me, if we're visiting my family, I'm like, we can go for three hours the whole weekend and I'm good. Love them, but I don't need to spend a lot of time with my family. No, that's so, that's what I was struggling with. First of all, my brother-in-law, Ian, it's incredible cook. He air-fried this motherfucking turkey. Air-fried this turkey.

Air-fried the turkey. It was so delicious. Oh, wow. He's such a good cook. It's incredible. I love the air-fired. But David and I went to my sisters and my parents were there.

And I was, like, struggling with how long do we stay? You were with David? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, I stayed at his house. And then we went to my... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, sorry, I didn't get that.

Hot tub. Fun. Hot tub. Hooligans around the... Hooligans in the street on, on books. No, on bikes, just like young kids. Oh, kids. Kids, hooligans.

Getting wild. But I was like, I don't know. It's like I flew all the way here, but I don't know when to leave. Sure. So it's like three, four hours. Can I be honest? That's enough for me. I felt like me.

For me sitting with my mom and talking for like two hours. My niece was at church that day because her dad said the family's religious. So they've been taking her to church. And so honestly, Getting to be with my mom without kids winning around was really nice. Yeah. Different vibe. Yeah.

Kids love them. Annoying. Thank you. Also exhausting. Messy. And also, Graham, when he was much younger, he was like, I think he slept about a half an hour night. And then he ran, like, his energy level was like crystal meth. Devil child.

Devil, the son of Satan. And now he's mellowed out a little bit, but still very energetic. We have a child in my family who's at an age where isn't interesting any toys, just wants to take pictures off the wall. grab silverware everything that's not a toy is is fair game and so you're watching an adult pick up one thing for every two things you get thrown on the floor one thing is getting picked up and it's a losing battle it's a whack-a-mole yeah i think the newborns can't only make so much mess and then the older kids but there's that middle baby zone where they have no responsibility yeah i don't know terror like two three four years old yeah i would be really hard i would have to i would i would love like

the newborn i mean i'm a born breastfeater but then i would like ship them off to boarding school until they're like 20. I mean, do you think boarding school's bad? Do you think it's bad to ship your kids away? I don't think it's bad. I don't know anyone who did it. I do. So I grew up with a rich girl.

Like we were not rich. And none of... Like one stephanie? Rich girl? No. Like she went to a 20,000... Okay, in the 90s. Her high school was $20,000 a year.

She did a whole year in Spain. Oh, God. What? In high school. She lives in Spain? She loves it. Everything's great. No, but imagine that in high school.

Right. Imagine your high school costing $20,000 a year in the 90s. These days, that same high school is probably $50,000. Think about it. I can't imagine. No. So she was rich. I think I told you the story where I got so drunk, I drove her dad's BMW.

Oh, no. I got so drunk at her house, face down, like dead drunk. We had to wake up her sister who was 14. to drive the dad's BMW to drive me home because I had my mom's car, Mary, it was so wild. It was so off the hook. So off the hook. My friend who was drunk drove my mom's car with me in it.

And then the 14-year-old daughter was woken up to drive the beamer to drive the girl back to the house. Oh, yeah. That was shenanigans we got into in high school. Christina. And I walked into the house. My mother's in her robe having tea in the morning. She's like, oh, thanks.

I need the car to go to work. Does she know what the tea was? Oh, yeah. I mean, I walked in dead drunk. Was she mad? We had a discussion. We had a discussion. Didn't take, huh?

Not about that. Just about other things. You said, you know what? You're right. I'm going to quit on booze. Well, I never really drank again after that. You said, I'm never going to have an issue. Movies with little bitches are always like, I'll never tell a lie.

Love that shit. But, I mean, they really soured me on drinking. Yeah. Drinking is kind of disgusting. Why does it really love it? Medi, can you grab my computer? You know what I think is really the vibe? Do you remember that little bitch from A Little House in the Prairie?

No, I never saw it. Nellie Olson. Wait, she's the one who got pushed down the... No. Who's that? Who's that? In the Green Gables? That's not that, that show, is it? it is it is it isn't it

I love that clip I love that clip I love that clip She used to love to watch Little House on the Prairie And recently I've been thinking about it a lot I think I'm gonna rewatch it Michael Landon Oh the dad Yeah

Hot Well yeah I know But I was I was thinking of the theme recently What do you think about it Let me just play this for you What do you think about it as a disco remix hold please I know this is like not on anybody's bingo card today I've been doing a lot of producing for other people

I got to, I can't say who, but I'm doing remixes for other, for pop girls, real pop girls. People in the car, would you, would you gaze, would you bop around to the Little House on the Prairie Disco theme? One, two, three, out! This is horny. Hey! say one two one three everybody

this is horny horny I'll see you at the Grammys I was listening to and I was like why is it this it's this dreamy it's a dreamy

70s it's almost like never ending story kind of it's this very like ooh you need to do Dynasty next

please do Dynasty next the song itself girl you would fuck up Dynasty I was like you would fuck I live you do Dynasty next

have to. Maybe that's next. What about a whole album of just disco TV? No, it's, girl, that is so fierce. I had, when I was like 16, I mailed away, like, because, you know, no internet. I sent away a check in the mail and I got back, um, it was goth, remixes of, of exactly that theme songs, like Charles in Charge. Charles in charge. And then like all, I figure out what it was called, but it was really fierce, like, it was a really fierce, like concept. All dark, dark weave industrial like um theme songs i love a reimagining it's fierce i i um i have a two-part story to this one is one of the girls i just got to do a remix for she hadn't heard the remix yet and she came to the studio and we were sitting in the studio with the big speakers and she

we played it and i was like it was one of those moments i'm like she actually hasn't heard this and now she's going to have to either fake or responsive she doesn't like it and i was like this is awkward she couldn't get enough of it she was like she stood up she started screaming she started dancing she loved it and it was so gratifying That's fierce I was like Oh thank God she likes it

Because she could have been like It's a nice start You know what I mean And she loved it Thank God That was like That's fabulous Will you please do

Dynasty next Yes I'll give it a shot I want to finish Little House on the prairie To No Dynasty Twink Peaks

Twink Peaks Twink Pea Sometimes the remix You know that song By um Do you know Pet Shop boys They're kind of Gothy right

No No Not at all Because they're a little bit Depeche Mode They're like New Wave Yeah but don't the gotts like that?

I mean, it's like adjacent. Okay. But it's definitely not goth, though. Their version of, you were always on my mind. With Liza? Oh. No, you were thinking of,

you were thinking of the Dusty Springfield version. No, I'm thinking of the Petschup Boy remix with Liza singing. It's so good. I forget what it is. Oh, I haven't heard that. You know what I'm talking about it? Oh, yes, but I don't know what song that is. It's a cover.

I, maybe I'm going and, I forget. Oh, that is what it, yes. The Petschop boys, maybe I didn't love you like a blah, oh, I love them. I read, I was like, why did they think they were doing in the UK, a holiday special in the UK honoring Elvis, where they asked all these bands to do their own versions of Elvis songs in their own style. And they were like, we all, we all like, you're always on my mind. It's widely considered the best, like, cover of any song ever. Really?

Because it makes the song sound like, that's the original song. Yeah. It's so good. That's fierce. And did you watch Veneno? Remember she's titties out in the club dancing to that song? Oh, that's right. It's such a great piece of music.

You know what else is a fucking fabulous cover? One of the best covers of all time, due in time by Lana Del Rey. Yeah. Better than the original. The great heartbreak of my life, the biggest regret that I have for her is that she didn't do a whole album of covers. She's still good. She still could. What do you want her to do?

This is time to speak it into existence. I want her to do classic rock. Sure. I want to do Led Zeppelin, the door. Black Velvet. Shimee Hendrix. Yeah. I mean, all, I would love for her to do all, like, male tunes, you know?

Oh, yeah. I mean, Leonard Skinner. I mean, she could fucking rip that shit apart. She could fuck up. Wildhorses. Like, I mean, Roger, but she could, like, 60s, 70s classic rock, she would she would take a fucking, she would take down her bloomers, pull her

butt cheeks apart, and just shit on it. Right. As the time we film this. I think Wicked came out last week. Now, what do you think about all this? I didn't see it because I don't want to go to a crowded theater. I didn't, I tried to watch it at home the first one. It's not for me. I'm not a hater. Yeah, I know you told me a hater before I'm trying to change my ways. I don't want to be a hater. Right. But it's just not for me. Right. It's okay. It's fine. I watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade when I was home for Christmas. And I don't normally get to watch it,

but I had a really good time watching it. They were saying, Mary, a Pokemon ones, obviously. They were saying that it, go online and search for the comments. the comments are like, of course, this year's Macy's Thanksgiving Media Parade is woke. All because they just had Cynthia Riebos sing and people are like, there used to be white people in this parade. Black Les.

Nobody wants anything black or gay. Or it's like Thanksgiving used to be great. What about her voice? Her voice is transcendent. Of course. Transcendent. She's like technically an incredible singer. Yes. I mean, I was like, she's

up here. She's saying feeling good, which I thought was a universally loved song. Feeling good is woke. I'm feeling good. No, no, no, that's woke. And then there was one part where somebody was saying, like, maybe it's cold outside or some shit. And they took Bowen Yang's hand and did a spin.

And I'm like, this derailed the Thanksgiving parade. Pikachu's flying in the sky. That's woke. Do you what I mean? Also, did you know? I looked it up. Originally, the Thanksgiving Day parade was a Christmas parade. It just happened so close to Thanksgiving.

It became Thanksgiving. But originally it was like Christmas holiday parade. But I've always, thought of as Thanksgiving. It's also a weird mix of people singing live and people not seeing live. And it's just trying to see which one it is. You know what? Sometimes they do.

Let me tell you something. Sometimes they're not. Let me tell you something. Like I, do you ask me if I felt shocked and betrayed when I learned that Whitney Houston was lip-sinking to a recording of the Star-Spangled Banner? No. No. I was not.

I was not shocked and betrayed because she recorded that. That was her voice. There were her vocals. I don't care. It's outside. The wind's blowing. It's not possible to do what she did in that. I don't care if they're singing in the parade.

I don't care if they're singing ever. No, no, no, no. I care that it's their voice. But I've seen, especially with Russian singers, it's such a, they don't even bother with the farce. Well, I move the lips. Mary, they have air guitars. There's not, there's not an outlet in the place. Oh, yeah.

They got a full band. No, no plugs. Nothing's plugged in. There's no batteries, nothing. Everybody's doing it. Have they have the songs play in the order of the album? Mary, the, the album. Just put on the CD.

version to the T. Put on the CD. Every once in a while they'll turn the mic on and they'll be like you know like, for my background singers. Yeah. But I don't want to, like,

I've seen singers who like Ala Pugachova in her farewell tour, she was like in her 60s. Uh-huh. You know, she's got a voice these days sounds like like a bag of nickels down

a wooden stare. You know, like not great. But I, so I don't want her to sing live necessarily. When she did sing live three or four songs, it sounded like who done it. Right.

And it was like a little uncomfortable. So I, want her to do the album versions or I wanted to sing over a track. I want her and I want her mouth and I want her body there and I want the music there but it doesn't need to come out of her mouth. Right. Do you, does that, is that crazy? I don't think it's a crime. I think it's crazy. Some people, okay. If they're dancing on top of it. Ben Platt is playing the same theater I saw Purnal Activity. It's a live show evening with Ben Platt. You go because you want to hear the same. That's a vocalist. Right. You want to see the same. Yeah, yeah. So

he's not dancing the house down. I think we all need to like, like the Britney fan have never really cared if she sings. The Brittany fans haven't figured out. Who cares? She's there. It's her. And she's, you know, Mariah Carey, I don't even, those are her breasts.

That's her gown. That's her, she's beautiful. She's there. It's her music. She wrote it. She's here. I don't care. I would lip sync.

Well, it doesn't matter. I don't think it does. I don't think it really matters. I mean, especially at the parade, who cares? I also, after the parade, the dog show plays, the Westminster Dog Show. That is woke. It's at Westminster?

No, it's the, um... What is it called? The, the... Yes, that played. Fun watch. I never really watched it. It's weird that it just... Best and Show is, it's that.

I know, I know. Best and Show is so close to that. Rhapsody in white. Who won? These are, these are beautiful dogs being led by the worst dressed mannequins you've ever... I mean, these clothes are fucked. From feet.

These judges are putting on... The National Dog Show. They're wearing camel, caprice, three sizes too big. One of the judges was wearing a brown-knitted, long-sleeved, turtleneck dress to the floor. She was dressed like a branchless tree. It was so crazy, like a haunted woodland log. But they don't want to take away from the beauty of the animal. The women's fashion choices are very debate team.

Well, when we're talking dog show, we're not exactly thinking couture. why not you don't want to take away from the beauty of the dog the more dog like you look the more gorgeous your dog is going to be it's the log lady versus um

versus Annie Wilkes like that's who's doing that's what I want though I don't want Giselle Bunchen I don't want you know they also girl they did this graphical graph where they broke down the most popular dog names

by state what is it what is it there are two main ones and they both piss me off is it Kelsey One of them is Luna. Oh, of course. One of us Bella. Those are the two main dogs names.

Our producer's name is dogs and Luna. Is it? Yeah. Mark's dog's name's Luna. Fuck. Yeah. Basic. Wisconsin was Daisy.

Kentucky was bear. Ugh. But Luna and Bella, I was like, what are these, what, what happened in what happened in culture? Is it? Well, Luna Bella? Luna Bay. Think about it.

The moon. Bell. What is? You got three dogs. What are their names? You have a... Knowing me, probably doggy. Doggy puppy and...

No, you have a... Doggy puppy and Christina Aguilera. Doggy puppy and X-Tina. You got a teakup chihuahua. You got a Wymeraner and then you've got a Shih T-Cit-Soo. If I have a chihuahua, what were the dogs? T-Cup Chihuahua. Wimoraner and then a Shih T-Cit-Soo.

Probably knowing me, this is my teacup Chihuahua. Could be. Just teacup chihuahua. Yeah. Wymriner. is, um, oh, Simpy Sweepie. Simpy.

Simpy sweepie. Simpy sweepie. Oh my God. Cindy, uh, Cindy Sweeney. Cindy Sweeney. Cindy Sweeney. I saw her press thing that was like, people keep telling me how much they connected with Chris.

Chrissy. Shut up, bitch. Sit the hell down ho. Wait. What about that? Um, I love jeans. She loves jeans. It's so diabolical.

It's fierce. Just like, zip it. Um. And then the Wymeraner? Oh, the wheymeriner. On the Shih Tzu, sorry. The Shih Tzu, obviously, uh, Caleb. Fierce.

What about you? I love, I love, like, regular people's names. Linda, Jeffrey, and Curtis. Yeah. No abbreviations. No, no baby. And Lidna Vangelista. Yeah.

No, no baby talk, straight human language. Yeah. I just, what are you doing? Yeah. Bella and Luna. I mean, you know. I just... We got to look outside ourselves with names.

Well, yeah. We also have to look at what are the top two female gymnastics girls' names? Because it's like McNavy and McBrayland. Yeah, they're very like Midwest. I don't want to... I just feel like Bella and Luna also both feel just very Caucasian. Maybe that's not the case. They're also women's energy bars.

Maybe that's how they're naming it. This is my shih Tzu, Nature Valley. This is my cat tiger's milk Oh shit Oh my god Nature's Valley I don't know I just This is my dog neutral grain

I feel like with dogs Because we don't have to use people names The world is your oyster You can't name your baby macaroni But you can name your dog It's like Anne I think poopie Her dog's name is poopie Who's Anne?

Anne Pine Oh poopie Yeah I think so right I had a cousin named poopie It was her nickname But I have an aunt named Gooch That's true.

So we're doing all kinds of stuff. I have... Oh. How many cousins do you have? Do you know? Who knows? You don't know. My aunt's 60th birthday was last year, and I went.

People I either have never met or have no recollection of. Hundreds. I don't know who was related. I know they're all related to me. I had no idea who was related to me in what way. On how many uncles and aunts do you have? Oh. I mean, just a couple, but I have great aunts and uncles.

I have a lot of babies. No, no, just uncles and aunts. I don't know. Your mom? One now. I have one aunt. Just gooch. Yes.

Damn. But she got like four kids and they all got kids. So what is that? What are those first cousins? I guess those are second cousin? That's what I'm saying. I know we're related but I don't know what the terminology is even. Would you have sex with them?

Do you think that's wrong? Let's take a break. Actually, we got a wrap. I don't think it's necessarily bad. Is that bad? To fuck your cousin? Second cousin. Listen, if I roll up to the family reunion

I mean, we don't have, I don't think my family has hot people, so it's not been a big press. It's not, I mean, it's kind of a dog show at my family reunion. You know, if somebody showed up my family reunion and said, did you know that your second cousin is Josh Hutcherson and is here and wants to talk to you? Like, that's so strange. I don't know. Because, yeah, we would be. I know he's a little short, but I don't know. You know who else is really short?

Jeremy Ellen White. Yeah, do you feel horny to that? I feel neither way. I've saw him at the Rose Bowl, four foot two. That's right. We hope you enjoyed this. If you want to hear more,

just tip $18 in the chat. Honestly, I want to say, I never know what, when I listen to the pod, which I don't always catch them, I never remember talking to you or what we talked about. No, me neither.

This is a repeat shirt, I guess. Sometimes I think, like, oh, I love to listen to my own pod, but I'm like, I don't know what we said. Me neither. And we tape them so far in advance, sometimes a month in advance. Who knows?

Yeah, no way. How many days happen? You know what? You know what happens? And there's a new day every day. Every day. Every minute is something else. Something fresh.

I hope your bladder's okay. Yeah, me too. Me too. I'll perforate my bowel just in solidarity. It sucks. No, I know. It sucks. Goodbye.

Bye. You know what I'm going to do.