The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - A Ventriloquist Love Affair with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

Take notice, patrons of both the curious and mechanically marvelous! Two celebrated drag-queen automatons seated in comfy chairs, shall speak herein for approximately one hour via the mysterious ventriloquial arts! These painted wooden belles, done up in theatrical fashion, shall hold forth upon their recent engagements as musical jockeys of the gramophone disc, hospital patients for grievous intestinal obstructions, and those who dine on Mexican folded tortillas and sweetened frozen cream in the quaint hamlet of Franklin Village. Let us celebrate this duo's return to form, as they light up this podcast as varnished, vivacious, and vibrantly vulgar vixens fit for the bright footlights of vaudeville! To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit: https://Hims.com/BALD Patients shouldn’t suffer because of their laws. Our communities deserve better. To get involved and support Planned Parenthood, text UPDATE to 22422 Get 20% off your DeleteMe plan when you use promo code BALD at checkout at: https://joindeleteme.com/BALD For a limited time get 40% off your first Hungryroot order PLUS get a free item in every box for life. Use code BALD at: https://Hungryroot.com/BALD Try Wonderful Pistachios Chocolate Sea Salt and Chocolate Toffee today! To learn more, visit: https://WonderfulPistachios.com Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipYT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://trixieandkatya.com/#tour⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemotel.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Listen and Watch Anywhere! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Trixie: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemattel.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@trixie⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   Follow Katya: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.welovekatya.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/welovekatya⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   #TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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What's the rehabilitation? What's the teeth? So we're talking about the tube, right? the tube comes out, Merit Weaver goes, uh, disappears. Turns out the doctor was a woman. And, um, uh, and then it's. And that would make me nervous.

Just saying. And because you're, well, okay, I won't get ahead of myself. But there is a button to the button. So don't let me forget about the button. There's a zipper at the end of the button. Okay. We button up and then we zip it. So when I have a zipper for the buttons, don't let me forget about the zipper.

Okay. So then it's time for food. Okay. Can I get an F? Can I get an O? Can I get an O? Can I get an O? And a D. At this point, you haven't eaten in how many days?

Ten. Fears. If we count. Now, if we count. And for your big ass, that's a shock, honey. Hadn't lost one pound. Okay. Plenty of fat to be absorbed.

She didn't get her morning overnight oats. She didn't get her late night fat. What is it called a fat boy? What's that ice cream? Extra large. I didn't get my daily pint of hog andaws with heavy cream. You didn't get your Taco Bell. Baby.

I didn't get my fucking. thin crust pepperoni C.P.K. Oven. Beat the oven to fucking 450 and let her rip. Hell yeah. Unhinge the jaw and don't even chew. Right. I really, Dennis the menace throws a frisbee and I go, right. The only tweeter I know who eats.

Mama, Miss Pacman over here. Ain't no edible food left on eight. Of course. Sometimes your shirt. I might eat it. Right. You take off your limit. Can I take your coat? I eat it. Right. So first meal. This is the, So remember Ray Fines and What's Her Face, Anya Taylor Joy in the menu? Yeah. Here we go.

So the first meal. Do they let you get anything? So, Mama, let me answer your question. Jesus Christ. Can I talk? Can I tell my truth? Because I feel like for once you have a good story and you're making us, you're treating it like. But when you interrupt me, I can't speak my truth.

I know. But a crackhead was hospitalized and it's being told to us like it's an Apollo 13. Well, how am I supposed to react when you come in with that tight white blouse with those hard jutting nipples? I'm bricked. I'm bricked. I can't focus. My eyes are crossing. Where are you?

So what's the food? Paint the picture. Baby, I need to get into this. When I tell you what I'm about to tell you, you know that you're going to be told. Okay. Okay. First meal.

It is hot broth. Tomato. I'm sorry. It is a tomato basil clear broth. Extra basil. Okay. Okay. Clear tomato broth.

So it's a clear, it's a clear broth that has a flavor of basil tomato, tomato basil. Okay. Interesting. And they told me, they're like, no, Ms. Big, we need you to slip. A lady does, a lady sips, she doesn't slurp. Don't slurp. Yep. And I need you to keep your jaw intact.

Have some tooth, bitch. And also, I need you to take the wrapper off before you shove it down your fucking fat stomach, bitch. Right. You know what I mean? I was like, I was ready to take the whole tray in my mouth. I was ready to be like, oh, I don't need. It was very in fabric. It was like, in my mouth.

In my mouth. Right. Yeah. The reverberations of this tomato basil. And the nurse goes, and I also need you to stop chewing on my ankle. Yeah. And please stop chewing my kids. Right.

Yeah. So, to me no, basil, I sip it down. It's, you know, the sexual pee? Yeah. When you got to pee so bad, it almost feels like you're having an orgasm. It's like that. You know, it's, I can't believe it. I mean, it's like, it's like,

Like, I can't. Going from the two. For the first time in 10 days, she ate. She actually ate. She's eating. Oh, she's eating. She ate. Well, she slurped.

She softed up. Jesus is a clear tomato basil broth. Let it sop you up. She tore. She tore. She tore. She tore. She tore.

She's chopped, but she can tore an outfit. She can. She's chopped and she can slurp some soup. She's chopped unc, but she can surf soup. She is hit. She's a chopped. She is tore down. She is a brick.

But she can... My God. So, and then it was... And you're living for it. Oh, mama, no. I mean, ecstasy. Right. My body can't comprehend.

Like, as a tweaker, I'm like, there's no drug in the world that's better than this. No, you took one step. You know, like that Wendy Williams clip, but she's like... Yeah, I'm like, wait, James.

James? James? I was literally like, it was like looney tones. I was like... Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Then the next course. orange-flavored

gelatin. It's almost a little too sweet. It's almost a little too sweet. I love a hospital jello. Hell yeah. Oh, I was living. I was living. I was living. I was living. And then gel shot. Just to just to wash it all down as if it didn't need to be washed down because it was liquid. It was just a tablespoon of mustard.

It was a shrink-wrapped cup, half cups. That was probably good too. I feel like Meg Ryan in the restaurant I was like with across from Billy Crystal like during the orgasm like Right And once the last tip of that cranberry wash I was like

Oh squirting I didn't have to worry about the shit on the bed Because that fucking I had squirted My pussy was so wet You don't look that then Maybe my pussy was so well You had all those extra pounds on as you know Just kidding

But I was so wet I just feel like not eating in 10 days How do you not die? Well let me tell you Oh, that's keeping you alive. Yeah. 14 pounds of, so I didn't, I didn't, I went from, they weighed me. I went from 280 down to like 265.

So I went, I only lost maybe like five pounds. Oh. In four, in two weeks. No, I don't even think maybe three. Anyways. She ate, does that make sense? She drank her fluid. She drank her nutrition.

Does that make sense? Then, this is the diabolical part. So, so my intestines have been, immovable, inert, immobile, not processing any nutrition. So I'm like, wait a minute. So what's this, what's my pageant step down process? Like, what's my next number? Right.

Do you know what, when you go, well, when you go, when you go, when you go, when you win, Miss Continental, you go back and you do a sashy, shanty, let's collect some money. Oh, like your step down number. Exactly. Right. So that was my, that was my crowning meal. Right. And I got my step down.

So I'm, and I feel like I'm, I'm going to be on a gradual nutritionist guided, very specific, like, highly focused grouped, um, uh, trajectory towards like, hot dog nachos, right? And do they know you got Taco Bell today? They don't. But anyways, Mary, I'm going to just shorten this, and I'm going to cut to the third meal. A barbecue chicken sandwich. This feels like it escalated quickly.

I thought it should be another soft meal. I was Reagan and the exorcist with my head turning around 360 degrees. And I was like, no. Oh. No. I was like, I was like, did it hurt? I was like. I was almost, I was almost, I pushed the tray three inches away from me.

What people need to know about you is that you love moderation and you love to do things that are good for you. And so the very suggestion that you would eat a barbecue chicken sandwich was sort of like, Lee Cronin's the Good Wife. Lee Cronin's poop. Yeah, I was, so there was one. So it went from that. Then it went from a, then it went from a, I'm sorry, when it went from a chicken broth. Maybe that broth was good. Yeah.

And then it was another orange jello because why I have one. too twice the price. Right. So then it got a little crazy. Then it was a tomato soup. And I was like, tomato soup. What do I know about tomatoes? Highly acidic,

gird inducing, gastroosophageal reflux disease. They do have the kind for old people. It's less. My baby, this was thick as thieves. Thick of thieves. This was a hot gazpacho. But I guess you're in the hospital.

So what? So what? But I mean, if something goes wrong, hey, you're there. I know you'll say something. Hello? Am I a Cedars fan? No.

No, I'm not. They're like, but then... Pull up in the ICU. Pull up with the Ivy Tower? Yeah. It was the twin towers. I had two Ivy Towers during the operation. They made me leave because I kept laughing.

You saw the twin towers. They cut it. But you saw the Twin Towers. It was worse than 9-11. Because these towers didn't go down. Well, you didn't see how big you were. The scalpel was like a snow shovel. They had to do your surgery.

They Pinarian-Wagnered me. They were like, they had one leg up on the dresser, the other on the wall. They said, like sweet pussy Pauline. Weren't built right. No way. They got doctor now from, from six hundred pound life. You're not 700 pounds of water. You're 700 pounds of bullshit.

So then cut to fucking Rachel Ray's 13, 13 minute meals. Yumma. I got, I got, I got, I got a Costco bun, unt toasted, thank you very much. with about three pounds of fucking barbecue chicken drenched in barbecue sauce. What's the stupid? A plastic wrapped chocolate chip muffin. Okay, this feels like yogurt, plain, full fat. This feels like pans labrins.

And then like 14 feet of uncooked Vienna blood sausage. And then I got some Australian guy saying, eat it up, you faddy. Come on. That didn't happen. No, of course not. But the sausage didn't happen. But why are you allowed to eat like that all of a sudden? Oh, my hand trauma.

generational trauma, intestinal trauma. I want to talk to you about the realities, the nutritional realities of plastic wrapped, preservative-laden chocolate chip muffins. Nobody should be eating those. And you know I'm the last person telling anybody by anything. But when it comes to like, I eat crap, but I actually draw the line at that.

It's like I don't shoot meth. I free base. I free base. Yeah. I don't eat chocolate chip muffins because, not because they're bad for you, but because it's like eating a brick. There's no nutrition.

They're loaded with horrible fat and calories. They're like legit like 1,100 calories. Of crap, of no nutrition. No nutrition. Look it up, look it up, look it up. Do something else. No, Julian Michael. You're good, Julian Michael.

Go on. Yeah, yeah. It's like, it's like, I was just like, okay, well, the good news is, obviously I'm about to go home and I went home. Thank God. Yeah. But in order to sell.

Did you write a lipstick on the mirror like drag race and leave? you, but thank you, Audrey. Right. Happy birthday. It's not my birthday. It's mine. Show the car. The wrapping is really like...

I went to Beverly Hills for that, baby. Rodeo Drive. I don't even... I don't even... I like this is going to be something that already belongs to me. Did you take this out of my bag? You did, didn't you?

No, I didn't. If you don't like it, it's my side, so I'll take it back. But I thought it's really... cute. I'm going to love it. But why were you thinking of me? Well, I got two. Oh, I love this. Isn't that fun? Oh, yeah. Is that kind of fun? It's really cool. Did you get one too? I did. So you accidentally got this for me. No, I got really a gift. Oh, my God, if you're on purpose. I was at the story, but get this. So get this. Me and Jennifer, beloved Jennifer. Well, look, that's not for your. Oh, who made the, ooh. Aren't that fun? Yes. The TikTok shop. Yeah. You got me on it. You got me on the TikTok shop. I thought you enjoyed those.

Really good. Yeah. I'm going to wear these to DJ. And then when I met. I'm going to wear these to DJ. And then when I mess up, I'm going to blame the nails. There you go. I think there's a blood-soaked tampon in there, but that's mine. Oh. I think that's it. I hope the receipts not in there. I stole it all.

Yeah. So, so, um... Thank you. You're welcome. Um, you're welcome. Don't you hate that? Don't you fucking hate that? You're saying you're welcome?

No, no, no. When you like, say you, somebody, some fucking, some dumb fuck, like, you know, when you're like 30 yards away from the target door and somebody like keeps the door open, when they could just go in and you could just, You're not, you got your arms. You're not carrying large packages. Right. Fully able-bodied.

And you, you can open the door, no problem. But they insist on, like, holding it open. And it's a little long. And then you say, you know, you appropriately say, oh, thank you. And they're like, you're welcome. What's the problem here? Bitch, you didn't do nothing good for me. The worst is when they're holding the door and you're too far away.

That's what I'm, you have to do the pantomime scoot. Like, like, on going fast, scoot. Yeah, exactly. And then, of course, what you, what you have to do, what you are required to say, Even though it's not a guess. Suck their, did you suck as conk? You gotta fuck them.

But you know what I mean? No, like, it's like you didn't, that's not, my point is, that's not your good deed for the day, you fucking bitch. Well, you should be like, oh, thank God you held the door. I had no plan B. Exactly. It's like, oh my God, I can't, I, I can't see it. I'm blind.

My backup was to drive my car through the front of target. Yeah. My hands were about to get chopped off. Thank God I avoided that. There's a ninja. I mean, I didn't see, whatever. So what's the healing process now? A lot of smoking.

Like when do they think you'll be totally fine? Well, that's a great question because that actually is the prognosis. Thank God. And not thank the doctors. Are you kidding? Thank God. God favors babies and drunks and I think if you guys a little bit of both. Gougu Gaga, me one, drinkie.

No, yeah, no. So it's a... Can I say that if that happened to me, I would have been dead. That doesn't make sense. I'm just saying you have an aura. The universe looks out for you in a way that I think... When something happens to you, I don't ever get seriously worried because I don't, I absolutely think you're going to outlive me.

Well, you know, well, this is, that's really morbid. I also thank you. Oh, you're welcome. Let's take a break.

Ow! Ow! Next time you go to the hospital, I'll be behind it, bitch. So weird. I'm like, Katia, I hit her with my car.

I'm like, she has a Volvo stamp on the front of her fucking face. And on the back. And on the back. And on all over her body with the tire marks as I drove in. You know what I have soup cans

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Update to 22422. Again, to get involved, text update to 22422. While you were almost dying, I was in Brooklyn, struggling. Can I tell you what happened? Something that happens to me. Girl. We've been talking about you for fucking two days. I know.

Boo-hoo. I know. Ugh. Bring a book. Boo-who. Bring a book. Boo-who. Bring a book. You played Coachella or Bonner or Loeffair? Yes, I played lightning in a bottle last weekend, which was so cool. My new show Super Disco. Something unprecedented happened that I wanted to share with you.

You shat in your diaper and he didn't leak out. I rehearsed to the point of absolute certainty that I was going to eat. You know what? My choreographer, Alex said, when people say I'm getting kind of scared, I'm going to mess up. What if I mess up? He said, but what if you eat? Before you go on stage, anybody, don't, the other half of what if I mess up is, but what if I eat?

Not me at the hospital. Well, but what if I eat in 10 days? Does that make sense? When I'm staring at that chocolate shit muffin. So wait, wait, so you ate it. And how did it feel? Like, give me, like, the, like, I want to know, like, in the moment because I, when you're eating in the moment and I know, like, when you're locked, tuned and tapped and

and turned on Abraham Hicks. Yeah. You are. When I'm sounding, musically, when I'm sounding. No, shut up. We're like, are, are, it's in a flow state. But tell me, walk me through the whole thing. Okay.

Start to finish. Start to finish. I started the show last summer. I started with like my little Pinterest boards, my mood boards, my vibes. And then, you know, over, how about say holiday, I started building the playlist, practicing what I'm going to do. And I knew it had to be exactly an hour for this show. And work with the choreographer, the customer, Amy. And then by then, by the time I started hiring people, I had like a PDF that I could present to people as I hired them.

I mean, like, here's the story of the show. Here's the tracks in the show that are going to get numbers. Here's the run of the show. Here's the mood board. Like, I've just never, never been so prepared. You were in the, you were on the stage with Marty and Gay, you know gay. Gay. And you had, you had the, you had the, and Marcia Gay.

Yeah. But you had the thing full. I mean, you were so at the end of, you're like, you're on tonight. You had the ice with the nipples. Wired. Yeah. My nipples were wired. Why weren't they?

Well, I didn't bring my DJ platters. I just, I, I, DJ scribbled my own nipples. I, I got tattoos of records on my nipples and I just. You had chumper cables. Jump her cables, absolutely. With a whole dog. Right. 100%.

And then, you know, it was crazy? I turned around, and the audience was like, what is that? I had those cups on my back. Cumping? Yeah, cupping. Suction to hell. Welts. And I said, you want to be on top?

Nah, no, no, no, no. The pins with the little chicken nuggets that are on fire. She was actually, she was too into adapt to her own. It's all corrupt girl. No, no, it's all corrupt girl. It's all corrupt. It's all bullshit. It's all bullshit.

Get the moon tracker. Check the weather app. No, no, tell me. No, no, it's forever. No, the show went perfect. All the rehearsals paid off. I rehearsed not only in the costumes. I rehearsed in body in costumes with a wig on, with makeup on.

Trans. With lashes on. Trans. And we also, I worked at this production company called Beehive that I didn't even know, I don't want to sound naive. I didn't know this even existed. That, first of all, I can, normally I DJ my shows with my computer because I run the visuals for the show from my computer at the same time. Yeah. This production company took care of the visual package.

So all I had to do is DJ. So I almost was like, what was that? Okay, James. Like I almost, the whole show I had a feeling of I left the oven on. I left my kids at the supermarket. Because I never had a show go so well that I almost was getting the creeps. Right. I was.

And maybe it's because I do a lot of therapy now, but I wasn't manifesting the panic that I always have. Instead, I was just doing my show, borderline, calmly, assuredly, confidently. As you had exhaustively rehearsed. Yes. And my goal, I don't know if this happens to you. Never. The first, and I felt upstage because of your whole scenario. Like, I'm trying to do my thing and you're like, yeah.

So what? I'm going to die from Strang's with a candy. They gave you another gash. You have another hole and no one can fuck it. Bring a book. Has an axe wound. Your axe wound, whore. But I just, I don't.

I wouldn't say it was like the most, I wasn't perfect. I did get sick in the middle because I've been having the bad arthritis spells. I got sick in the middle. Almost threw up during the show. Okay. Well, you,

okay. But I stayed, but I went into it knowing I might get sick. You can share yourself, but it wouldn't matter. But I'm rehearsed enough that my muscle memory, I literally can be focusing on not puking and I'll be able to do the show.

Incredible. It went perfect. The audience loved it. I was afraid the turnout. I was like, it's not a gay thing. It's a straight music. It's a festival.

And I'm a gay act. What if no one comes? There was so many people there. Like tens of thousands. You couldn't even see the end of it. It was so crazy. And it just went so well that afterwards I just was in shock. In absolute shock.

I was like, oh my God. Nothing bad happened. Not that I expect something bad happened, but when you imagine your show to be a certain way, and this was the first time it turned out exactly like I thought it would be. It felt, I don't know if this happens to you, but when I do it the first show,

I black out. And I can't even remember. This was the first time I've done a first show where I felt present and in control. And also, I actually was looking around, noticing, gratitude,

smiling, almost like a feeling of, it's happening. I can't believe it. Normally leading up to stage, I'm freaking out. This show, I was just,

it was like, my best room was about to have a baby. I was like, I was like, excited. I was like, we're about to eat. To be tapped and turned on.

And we did eat. And afterward, walked up stage. And I felt bad because I thought I was going to throw up, but the choreographer Alex,

Alex did throw up. And he has a six pack. So if he's, If he throws up, maybe I'm not so bad off. It was just so hot. It was like 90 degrees. My dancers are in these big pink monkey suits. Like, it was crazy.

But then Alec cried, we're all just like in shock. It just went well. I just wanted to share that it went well. It's not as good as a hospital story. No, I'm just saying it's the ultimate. And not, okay. Also, just side note, I've stopped qualifying. I'm not doing, not to be corny, but I don't mean to be earnest, but.

No, my therapist has to not do that. I'm not, no. And my sponsor says, you know, we're not qualifying anything anymore. And this is a Something I wanted to talk You asked your sponsor Should I be qualifying? And they said,

Who is this? I haven't heard from me years. Mom? But you died three years ago. My sponsor is ritual symbiotic. So I have my own sponsor. My sponsor is my sponsor is my sponsor is TriMex. Of course.

My sponsor is a end of nothing. My sponsor's retinal detachment. Is he's Rental Imaging? Okay, okay. Oh, okay. No, no, no.

It's a capital T triumph, and I just want to offer sincere congratulations. Thank you. Because I don't ever ever get to do that. And I don't think, I mean, obviously we're. Well, I'm going to get to, if anybody wants to see, it's at Lollapalus and Bonaroo and Oceagonal. I'm not doing that many this year.

But I'm, There's only so much you can puke. Well, I'm working less now. It's incredible. Because I've been too sick. that's a mirror. Okay. Well, I was going to say that's a miracle, but I guess that's not, it's a medical or. I know. Plain Jane was out there and she was like, Tricks, you look so skinny. And I said, thank you. I've been very ill for months. Yeah, it's, um, I have sepsis. Yeah. Yeah. I've been passing on.

Thank you. Um, I also have a story that I wanted to tell you. And this was a story I was excited to tell you that when, from when you went to the hospital. So fuck my story, right? Um, by the way, I just feel like your hospital bullshit is just one up to everything. Now every story's going to seem stupid. So whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Girl, check the moon tracker. Look up in the sky, honey, because your shit is gibbius. Ghibit's givis. So, my interest is waning.

Girl. Crescent rolls. So. Oh, my old glass. So. So there's this artist. I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, screaming. A lot of screaming on this pod.

Sorry, we got to keep the audio mix. The audio mixes working overtime. There's this artist. Let me look this up quick. Sorry. Okay. While you. do that. I want to talk to you guys

about Squarespace. Wait, what time is it? It's seven o'clock on the dot. I need a crack rock on the spot. Okay. Okay. So, James. So this story is me supporting the arts. So I think it's the new

something theater over in Hollywood, the new something theater right by my studio. Beverly? Maybe. Is it a movie theater? No, no. It's like a new artist's theater. Nude. New theater act theater. One of those like not generic, but it's just like a Yes, it was a smart theater. So months ago,

there's this ventriloquist I love. Okay, but pause. Period. And then a moment. Does that make sense? Let's just like, let's just take that in. Girl, fuck exploratory laparotomy. There's this new ventriloquist.

I'm going to say this. You need to, you just, you just. Okay. That's why I knew that. I couldn't tell. Well, I'm struggling in Brooklyn. She's trying to get this out with no irony. And I also saying my hospital story is pulling focus.

This bitch just. just said, so there's this new ventriloquist that I love with a straight fucking face. You are insane. You should be in Cedarsight night right now. This is a while. Tell me more. Tell me more. Tell me more.

Sandy from Greece. Let's go. I'll go to Salas to tell a good story. I'm sorry, I poop. So there's this new ventriloquist that I love. Does that make sense? She's not new, but she's never come to town that I've been, I've been into her. Oh, my God.

So I've been following. this ventriloquist for years. This is even crazy. I know. I don't know. No, no. I'm not. So her name,

she is an actress. She's a playwright. She's the mother I never had. She's an artist. She's a manager. She does all kinds of things. She's an artist. Yes.

She's an actress and, she writes one woman shows and stuff. We're going to speak slowly because this is a lot to take in. This is a lot to take in. You got to like, you've got to page yourself. This is a lot of information. Oh.

My blood pressure. So her name is Sophie Becker. Okay, shout out to Sophie Becker. She's beautiful. She's so talented. I love. And I found her because on TikTok, there's a TikTok account called Ronnie the dummy. Okay.

Ronnie is a influencer who I love. Incredible. And Ronnie. Who's the young gentleman in the bottom left? Oh. Her husband? Oh, he's in the show. Okay.

Can you see me? She's like pretends to be an influencer. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. That's so helpful. Sorry, you don't have any. Thank you so.

And she refers to the ventriloquist as her assistant. So, like, the doll Ronnie is like an influencer. She's blonde. Her videos are like, get ready with me for my date with my situation ship. Like, I love this shit, right? Oh my God, fabulous. And so I wanted to see her for, since I found her. Yeah.

And I've never seen a ventriloquist act ever. I never have. Me neither. So I just like, why don't, I'm 87 years old. You are. It's a full moon. Yeah. My friends are dropping dead.

Yeah, the full moon. Because they won't pull the hardware out of their asses or whatever the fuck you're doing. Judo. Thank you. Um, so secret judo classes. My friends look like laying in beds with tubes up their nose and I said, well, I'm going to see the puppets. Right. Yeah.

Thank you. There's no. I do put on. There's no steam to suck up. Let's go. Yeah. Lee Corny presents Jim Henson's The Muppets. So I buy tickets to see Ronnie.

This water's salty. Ronnie is a show called Ronnie's Big Idea. Okay. And I go great. And that's months ago. Yes. I buy the front two tickets in the front because I buy him so early, the theater's empty. Am I Nicky fan?

The front two seats in the front, I buy them. And I go, when we go to the Sumi, great. See me my boyfriend. I go, you know, I have to get up early tomorrow. I forget what night this is. It's months later. Okay. Oh, right.

So you, okay. It's months later. You're like whatever. It's about 6.30. I go, you know, I think I'm going to take an edible because I got to go to bed super early tonight because I got to work tomorrow and I've been feeling so sick. So about 40 minutes goes by after I take this, the, the most hateful edible. Hateful.

Hateful. Hateful. Hateful. Be eaten eaten bitch. Girl. Big old hateful club. And my Google calendar goes, boop bloop boop boop.

Ronnie's big idea starts in 30 minutes at the theater. And I go, oh, God. Blanket. I go blanket, get up. Mr. Wonderful.

He said, what do we got to do? We got a motor if we're going to make it. Get up and put your clothes on. We got to go see Ronnie the dummy. You're like, he goes, okay. You're like,

he's mad because he's already has a pajama set on. So he's like, you know, he's like, what do you call it? Like Christmas Carol, like Ebonyzer. He's also, he's already tacked up the seven,

scarves in the room. He's a kimono. He's tacking up the fabric. You know. He flat ironed his bang and put over a little thing over it. We have enough time to get to the show. Yeah. But we can't drive because I was just self-rufied.

Yeah, yeah. So I'm waiting for the show to start and we sit down first and I don't, and I want to buy. I said, I'm going to get a piece of merchandise. And I go up and they have these Ronnie the dummy matches. They go, how much are the matches? And he goes, they're a dollar. I said, oh, my God.

A good deal for matches. Hello, how cute. I said, I'll take one. It's like, it's a gift shop at a small theater. I'm not going to make them whip out my card. I was like, oh, good, I have cash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I grab the cash.

I go, do you have change for a hundred? And that's what I realize I've gotten already like so high. And I'm like, and he looks to me and goes, no. And I go, okay. So I go, well, I was going to buy something. And then I go, well, can I get one of those shirts? He goes, yeah, because then I only need like 50 bucks back or go, yeah.

Tell you what, after the show, I'll come get that shirt. He goes, okay. So they said it. aside for me. You're not getting that shirt. So I go sit down. The show starts. She comes out.

Sophie's great. I don't want to give away her whole act, but it starts with this funny joke about like, I just got to L.A. and I just got however many Cs of Botox. And she's doing an actor. Oh, she's talking to the audience and nothing is moving.

That's incredible. Immediately, yes. Yeah. And then the plot of the show lightly is about her discovering, like, ventriloquism and finding out like her and this puppet are a perfect double act together. And basically Ronnie wants to be famous and successful.

and literally goes on the tonight show. Oh my God. While the ventriloquist, the ventriloquist falls asleep on the couch, the doll like goes on the TV show. The doll's like ambitious. It was so funny. I've never seen ventriloquism before.

Dancing, singing, dancing around with the puppet, them both singing in different voices. And then later other things, like there's a part where she pretends to be on the phone and does like a, she does the little phone voice. I just had never seen ventriloquism. It was amazing.

Not to mention. Lee Cronin's the dummy. Her mouth could have been completely moving. And I was so gone. I was like, baby, that's, that puppet's talking. I was like, oh, y'all need to see this. Everybody see the leprechaun. You're like, elbowing your neighbor, like, are you watching this?

It was completely sold out. People, not only has every seat taken, people sitting on the floor on the stage. Like, it was a sold out event. And I'm paralyzed. You're like level five hurricane. I'm paralyzed. Yeah. Literally.

But I'm laughing. You're like the dad from strangers with candy. And I actually realize, sorry, if you're going to be too high, ventriloquism. Thank you. It was amazing. It was like, it made me completely accepting and present. I was like, that's a real person. And that ventriloquist is actually fake.

This doll is alive. Like, I was the supportive. Annabelle. I was 100%. So then I see the show. It was just great. And then there's another puppet. It was just awesome anyway.

It was just the story of getting entirely too high and then realizing like, no, bitch, this is what you get too high for. Yes. Say, say yes to life. Say yes to life. Take that edible.

Shut that fat edible up your ass and go watch Ronnie the dummy. Girl, boof it and bump it. I just love it. I hope I can see more of a twilliquism on my life. It was just great. She's still doing shows. It keeps getting extended.

It was very stalled. So I could go see it. Yeah, it was great. I loved it. I want to go see it. I love it. I'm so happy for you. The idea of like a ventriloquist,

an actress playing it like reluctantly partnering with a ventriloquist doll for success. It was like, love it. That's amazing. And not that it matters. The actress, the ventriloquist, is gorgeous to look at. Ken Singh, wrote the whole show herself.

Like, loved it. It was very drag. Loved it. Excuse your mouth. Drag is ventriloquism. But drag ain't right in your own show. Well, actually it is. Anyway, it was just kind of a fun story.

Well, who does? I'm going to go check it out because I didn't get to the big regrets of my life is that I got four tickets to see Christian Schall's show a Dynasty typewriter. This episode is in partnership with Airbnb. There is a very specific moment in early June when Canada collectively remembers it can go outdoors again. The parks come alive. The lake starts sparkling. And everyone begins to act like they've just been introduced to sunshine for the very first time. Suddenly I'm entering my summer travel chapter and I need a charming home on Airbnb, a soft place to land, and preferably a porch where I can sit with a nice coffee and look thoughtfully at a large tree.

A huge tree. This June, I'm taking a few days in St. John's, Newfoundland, where the houses look like they were painted by very cheerful wizards and the ocean is just sitting there like a melodramatic, gorgeous thingwab. Totally for free. I want to climb Signal Hill. eat fish and chips near the harbor, walk around in a light jacket pretending I'm a lead character in a Canadian coastal novel that mostly is just a hot seaside romance. And the best part is while I'm having my ceremonial first taste of summer, my home does not have to sit empty, like a sad little diorama.

Hosting on Airbnb means your place can welcome someone else while you're off exploring, hiking, eating, napping, or buying that exceptional hat you'll never wear again. That extra income could help cover the next getaway, a home improvement project, or maybe just some extra gas money for a road trip. So this June, while you're planning your own great Canadian escape, consider hosting your home on Airbnb. Someone else gets a wonderful place to stay, and you get a little help making your summer adventure happen.

Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. This episode is in partnership with Airbnb. When June finally shows up, we can all stop pretending we're indoor people and finally get some vitamin D. The day stretch out, the sun gets warm, and suddenly I am emotionally transported into being a person who wears a linen shirt and says things like,

let's go get some fresh fruit at the farmer's market. This summer, I'm planning a little getaway in the St. Ines Valley, which is where I found this gorgeous little home on Airbnb. That feels like a little headquarters for a few days of warm weather intervention. I want to wake up slowly, make a little bit of tea in an actual kitchen, and wander through the rolling hillsides, buying some chunky jewelry and maybe a cool piece of wall art with a bit of seasonal, motif. And after that, I'll be ready for a little trip to Solvang for Danish's, smorgas, and that kind of Danish village charm that makes one briefly consider buying wooden clogs. That is what the beginning of summer does to me. It makes travel feel less like an escape

and more like a grand seasonal awakening. Suddenly, I need fresh air, open windows, and a home base that feels like a real place to set out from. That's why I love booking stays on Airbnb. I want a living room where everyone can sprawl out after a long day in the sun. I want a kitchen for late night snacks and lazy breakfast and I want enough space to actually feel settled instead of just stacking my luggage in a hotel room. And if I'm traveling with friends, even better. We can stay together, eat dinner together, and we can collectively pretend for the kind of people who do not forget sunscreen. And of course, once June begins, one trip becomes three imaginary trips. Maybe it's the Santa Ines Valley now, Yosemite National Park next, a long weekend in Santa Fe after that. However,

summer unfolds, it's just feeling more personal when you book through Airbnb. This episode is in partnership with Airbnb. There is a very specific moment in early June when Canada collectively remembers it can go outdoors again. The parks come alive, the lake starts sparkling, and everyone begins to act like they've just been introduced to sunshine for the very first time. Suddenly I'm entering my summer travel chapter and I need a charming home on Airbnb, a soft place to land, and preferably a porch where I can sit with a nice coffee and look thoughtfully at a large tree. A huge tree. This June, I'm taking a few days in St. John's, Newfoundland, where the houses look like they were painted by very cheerful wizards.

And the ocean is just sitting there like a melodramatic, gorgeous thingwob, totally for free. I want to climb Signal Hill, eat fish and chips near the harbor, walk around in a light jacket pretending I'm a lead character in a Canadian coastal novel that mostly is just a high hill. hot seaside romance. And the best part is while I'm having my ceremonial first taste of summer, my home does not have to sit empty, like a sad little diorama. Hosting on Airbnb means your place can welcome someone else while you're off exploring, hiking, eating, napping, or buying that exceptional hat you'll never wear again. That extra income could help cover the next getaway, a home improvement project, or maybe just some extra gas money for a road trip. So this June, while you're planning

your own great Canadian escape, consider hosting your home on Airbnb. Someone else gets a wonderful place to stay and you get a little help making your summer adventure happen. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. Wait, I have another story. Tell me. Regarding this. Tell me. Tell me.

Tell me. Sunday, which was your birthday. Uh-huh. I was going to go to see you were doing Andrew's show. You were doing apocalyptic, the church themed show. You got healed. You got healed. No, no.

I bought tickets because Andrew said, hey, we're going to have a surprise. cake for Katia. If you're coming, how about we have you pull out the cake? And I said, sure. But I love to support the art, so I buy tickets anyway. Because I'm bringing a group of six. Andrew, Apocalypse. Go see Apocalypse at Plaza.

And go buy your damn tickets. And don't you dare ask for a comp. And don't ask for a comp. I bought them, six of them. And sweetie, baby, let me tell you something about LaBray Avenue at that little stretch of Hollywood. Plenty of parking. So don't do it.

And if you don't have cash, jaywalk to the US Bank, get hit by a car. Get hit by car. Because maybe mom is worth it. You work at hit. And you know what? a yes to life, Jaywalk, and get hit by a car, get insurance money. And so you can pay for that cover price. This was the first one that was, it was like a gospel church brunch theme.

Because normally, you know, it was a Razz, Valentine's Day. And so it's at night. It's always at night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Day one, this was a day one. My favorite one. Andrew was incredible. Yeah.

Sermin that was hilarious. And then, so we're waiting for the show to start and there's a baby stroller on my left. Now, I've been at this show. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. There's a baby strroller. Is there a baby inside it? You're, we're going to get there. So I'm laughing because I'm like, I'm like, I've been to so many of these.

The prop, these are prop queens. Yes. I've seen drag queens push shopping carts. Yes. I've seen drag queens. You know, the prop game is real. Yes. So I'm thinking, I bet this is some fucking idiot's baby number.

Oh, right. Google Gaga. And then I'm like, so I take a video of it. I'm like, oh my God, at the drag show, L.O.L. And it's the baby carriage. Because I'm thinking there's going to be some drag queen pushing this fucking baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I see some guy come in and sit next to the.

baby carriage with a reborn doll and is like cheating out and like burping it. And I'm like, this is why I come to apocalyptic because these fucking idiots commit to the bit on a level that is so stupid. What are you talking about? Like a rubber doll. Oh, the baby. It looks so real. And he's like, and I'm like, I fucking love this shit.

He's got a JBL and like in the thing screaming. Yeah. And normally this is a sold out show. Yeah. This was a lighter one. Andrew comes out and goes, peace be with you. Kind of a like congregation this morning. There's like 20 seats sold.

But of course, like that show, it's all about enthusiasm. Oh, yeah. There was like 20 of us and we're living. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, and I'm ready for this stupid baby stunt to happen. I was like, I hate all these fucking faggots. A daytime drag show with a reborn doll. It's fierce.

And then Andrew goes, well, one of my friends is here and actually wants to come up here. He's a dad. He wants to come up here and talk about being a friend. father. And I'm like, I'm like, they're delivering this on a level that is so sincere that I'm like, I fucking hate these guys. It's like, gay people shouldn't be allowed to have anything. Like, making fun of church, making fun of dads. I hate this. So, and I'm looking at the reboard, I'm like laughing. And the dad goes up and is holding the baby and starts telling a story about being a constant on the street for being a gay dad and starts crying. And I'm, and I'm like, with the fake baby.

Yes. And I'm like this. I'm like, all of you guys are so awful. And that's when I realized it's a real baby. And he was, he was telling the truth. Get out. Get out. You get out.

But I've been to this show where the prop game is so strong that I thought this was a bit. And the baby starts moving. And the baby's so cute. And it is an earnest story about like, the power of fatherhood and being a dad changed my life. And the audience is, some of people are crying. We're clapping. I realize everyone here thinks this is.

Valerie Cherish. I'm waiting for the bit. Because I thought it was a rep. I thought it was a reborn doll. And I guess it was the two dads who are in this viral clip where this conservative person on the street was saying fucked shit to them. I watched the clip later. Oh my God.

And people are like, oh my God, those are the weeho dads from the clip. And I was like, yeah. So then I delete my Instagram post, making fun of the baby. baby carriage. Hello. Apologize, mom. But it's because I've been to the show enough time. I've been to the show enough times to be like,

everything in here could be a bit. Totally. Someone in the audience could get up and get naked and be in the show. I mean, they've literally had like, like, yeah, they've had like people like screaming in off the street coming and stage. And pretending to be like from the street. A crazy person, whatever. I've never seen a baby carriage at a drag show.

So I really thought it was a bit. Well, so it's a bar. It's a bar. The locals. Well, it was a Sunday afternoon. be fair. It was after brunch. Bottomless memosures with my infant. And there's plenty of extra help. We know the bartenders aren't busy making drinks. Thank you.

They're breastfeeding. They're breastfeeding. They're breastfeeding. I mean, they're not getting your drinks. But that was actually, but I was sad you weren't there because it was a, it was my favorite one. Of course. It was the funniest. Of course I miss out on, I miss out on the dummy. I miss out on Apocalypse's best show. I miss out on Crystal Shal's fucking legend of the Crystal Shale. I miss out on everything. I miss on you struggling in Brooklyn and make ends meet. I miss out on the in my own house. I miss out on my dad dying. No, I'm just kidding. No, the other best part of it was Andrew, you know, was in his drag and he's like, he starts talking about faith healing. And he goes,

you know, we have a friend who is not doing so well right now. And Marge Hallegger. No. I'm like, oh, yeah. And we're all like, oh, because, you know, everybody there pretty much knows you. We're like, oh, yeah. Andrew goes, one of my really good friends is not doing so well. He has arthritis. And I go, but I thought we were going to be talking about the person near death. The other Brian. Andrew goes, so Brian, could you come up here? Oh my God.

So I come up on stage and they wrap a sequin shawl fabric around me and start like shaking maracas over me. And they do like a prayer healing. And the whole time I'm thinking, everybody in this room, no, Kacchi almost died. And I look like I'm pulling focus. They're putting chip clips on your ears. They're doing like, crossed roots. Right. He's died.

Did that make sense? Like you're near death. and they're like, Trixie, get up here with your arthritis. We need to frost your tips. It was so fucking funny. Oh, that's brilliant. So you were not, not only not missed, not thought of. Not thought of, no thoughts and prayers.

No thoughts of, it's completely discarded, disregarded, and thrown into the bin. But were you going to do, because I thought maybe you were going to do your, to be about an amazing race? Mary, I had the, I had, it was like, I've like, I was like, I was like, a Jesus number? Are you kidding me? I was like, I had the whole, I was tuned in tapped and turned on. I was ready. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was.

like, I was like, oh, I don't want to do that all tired. I was like, tired number. Mama, that's when you ask, that's like, that's like saying Prince, don't play Purple Rain. Yeah, that's, you know what I mean? No, it kind of is your Purple Rain. It's like, detox. Don't you dare do that mannequin number. Of course you want to see the mannequin number.

Well, not to mention, you could always take that monologue and put on a different song. Which I, Mary, don't you think I had a cute? Don't you think I was up in garage band with my pounding and pecking for hours? I actually was. Giggling how to use garage band? Gusling how to, like, how to use a magic mouse? Yeah. Well, first you turn it on.

then you put the batteries. So I had the whole thing. I had a, like I had, I think I probably had like a seven to eight minute mix that I knew every. I mean, not, I had added all the, I'd done a little lip synch up like, I was like, I put in a little cereal mom, the little classics. I did a little, um. The classics. Mary, he drowned. Does that make sense?

Was in there. Thank God. It was still a great show. I've just missed you. It was great though. There was even some, there was even some, there was even a whisper of fucking of, of, um, of, um, of, um, of, um, um, of, um, um, um, um, um, fucking, God, it was,

all this shot. Anyways, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, no, it was a bummer. I was a bummer. I'm bummed, I missed it. But he lived. And no one there was praying for you. Does that make sense?

No. No one was worried about you. The length to which you will go to not have to do Andrew's show should be studied. That part. Say it again, girl. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Taking a box cutter to your stomach. Sorry, girl. The way that I'll say, of course I'll do it. Oh. Just this week. Literally like Harold and Modd like with a noose around my head, like a fake news around my neck covered in blood in the bathtub.

Of course I'll do it. But you know, Andrew told him, Andrew told me that he'll ask you when you're in a good mood and then make the flyer before you can say no. So then the flyer's out. I got to talk about something. No, never mind. Hold on. Let me check my scroll.

I got something to tell you. What do you think about these people? I went on the TikTok rabbit hole of people who stay the night in the Walmart. Like they make TikToks of like we made a little fort on this shelf and we brought a TV and a little like, we brought like a little grill and we're going to make hot dog. and stay overnight in the Walmart. Like, I think that's a little bit like let's shit in the toilet and IKEA. I kind of feel like I don't want to be grumpy, but I'm like, girl, go home.

Let these part-time workers. If you have a home to go to, get the fuck out of it. Listen, I live in the store. You don't have to live in the store. You don't have to live. No, this is just assuming, of course, that they have a home to go home to. No, it's more like stunts, like groups of 20-year-old men being like, we're going to stay in the mall as long as we can before we get killed. The only stunt that I approve of is one that you told me about these YouTubers storming into the Scientology Place, which brings me to...

Mary, speed runs. Speed runs. But do you remember just mere feet away from the Celebrity Center on Franklin? Do you remember when we had lunch and then we got ice cream? Tell the listeners what happened. Oh, my God. This was so crazy. So wait, wait, let me give a little background.

So I'm out of the hospital and I'm at home with my parents. parents, we're viving. Now, I've got, I've got this, my parents are with me. My mother and I are, this is a whole done. I got a family. Three days clean. Cut open like a roast turkey. I'm sure everyone was vibing. How dare you? How dare you? No, this is two weeks clean. This is two weeks clean. This is two weeks. I'm going to tell them that it's not impressive. It's a very big difference. Okay. Okay. But so, and there's no exercise. I am, pusses weeping through this gauze pad, nasty. So nasty. Next time I see somebody who's sober for three days. I'm going to tell them that it's not impressive and it doesn't matter. How about that?

Well, you would be, no, you would be, uh, someone's like, I have, I have three days. I'm going to go, well, it's not 10 days. Shut up. No, no, no, no, no. It's the opposite. Like, well, I have one day. So fuck off. The new, um, the newcomer is the most important person in the room. Right. So if you come in with one day 24 hours, you can basically hip check anybody into the van loins. Because you're Beyonce. Yeah. Okay. So we go to get, because, well, first of all. Okay. So me and Mr. Wonderful. Yeah. Me and Mr. Wonderful. But me in blanket. I take the blanket off of Mr. wonderful. Because Blanket tells me, oh, I'm going to go for a walk tomorrow. I said, well, Katte

told me that the doctor said she's encouraged to walk for her digestion. Ambulation is encouraged. Yes. So trambulation. I think he calls you. Yeah. And says, do you want to go for a walk tomorrow? And you said, how about now? I said, how about now, baby? Did no time like the present. These, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, blisters aren't going to form themselves. Do not let me forget. I'll just do it right now. About the, the, the, the, the, the, the fluid filled blisters this big on my heels as we speak with a half inch of pus or a fluid in them right now. That's good.

So we go on, we're ripping and roaring. Right. We go on, oh my God. Blankett and I are having the time of our lives. I'm dangling how's a bank ofy. Does Blanky walks 10 miles with no headphones? That's a serial killer. I only say this to shut up. That's a, that's either, that is two kinds of people.

A complete psychopath, serial killer or put a ring on it now. Yeah, Mr. Wonderful. Just you, that's a keeper. Okay. So he is, of course, in the latter. You guys are making TikToks. Oh my God. Like I'm busting my sutures internal and...

June is busting out all over. June is... I mean, we are having... We're talking about aliens. He's letting me know about everything. He's plugged him. He's, we're both tuned and tapped and turned on and we're really having a great time. The most wonderful guy in the world, I love this man.

Don't deserve it. And you're having lust for life. Oh, we're smiling. Between the two of us, all our teeth? Every time I smile, I smile. Every time I'm happy, I break out in a smile. Yeah. I'm allergic to happiness.

I break out and enjoy. Yep. So then I get a text saying, hey, do you want to go to dinner with us? And I'm expecting, oh, I mean, I'm in Fort Wayne, Indiana, you know, rebuilding a church or whatever. I can't. I'm doing Winston-Salem pride. Me and me and Kenya Michaels are doing, are doing a bingo tip spot. I'm on the ground floor of rebuilding a gay bar in Romania. Right. So, yeah, me and Banderpump are building a castle. We're depoisoning her moat. Does that make sense? We're choking all of her swans. Yeah, we're riding her swans around the yard. So she miraculously is at home and says, yes.

But also, I love tacos. Thank you. And this place is La Vita can'tina, which is in Franklin Village. Franklin Village. The horniest food. And the horniest, the horniest little, the horniest half a block of L.A. Great. The birds.

Mama. La Poubel, where all the celebs go to wear go-go boots. Thank you. To see, the newsstand where I get all my $400 candles. Dyer straight. Yeah. Dyer straits. Swiping a card, pretty woman.

declined. And also the Oaks Gourmet on the corner. Have you been there? Not yet, but I will. Cunty sandwiches. Watch out. And it's by the Gelsons. Which is like, do you, how? I mean he's going down at Gelsons. Mama, the Gelsons is fierce because the Gelsons is like, I just need to pick up a few things and it's $800 later. You're running out of Galsons like D and Sunny Fitt. You hit your head because your car's declined and you're like, did it not go through? No, you know what it is? It's, what could a banana be? $10. It's that. It's actually 20. Yeah. Yeah. So wait. So we have a lovely taco. Jipsy Rose Blanchard was that. one today. That's why my friend Joseph is so, every time I'm like, I'm like, do you want to get ice cream?

He's like, no, I'm, I want to go to heroin. Because Gypsy is fair. Because he says the people watching is unparalleled. And you are just confirming that. Yeah. Gypsy's in L.A. right now. And whenever she comes to L.A., she does like, she lives like Kardashian Haley-Baber smoothie.

She gets a $19. She has like a cuntie bob or a wig on. With a mama, that's Ms. Boyle. No, she has like a wig on and like, like, like, grayge athletic wear, like Kardashian cream athletic wear and she's just like getting my smooth air won smoothie she's living girl she's like I'm writing a travelers check for this smoothie 100% yeah so we go we have lovely tacos lovely tacos sure we're talking about Scientology we're really chopping it up tearing it up when I go eat there I pivot my chair to the Scientology building I try to look in the windows you're like measure my Thetons now

there's a few celebrities that we see over there all the time we won't say their names because they could have us killed you want to see celebrities go to that celebrity center and just wait you'll just see yeah just like and you got to do this you got to do weapon style hands and then mouth wide open with the eyes unblinking. Yep. So then we start walking home and to walk from that to my house, we have to walk by an ice cream place called Van Lewins. And it's me and you and Mr. Wonderful. It's two doors down. I'm two doors down. I'm calmly walking. I thought, you know, that was fun. I guess it's just like time to go because we've had dinner. And I've, we've settled the check. Mr. Wonderful paid. Yeah. Historically, we have dinner once every three years. So I'm like, this has already been a lot. So I, my cue is to skip out on the bill. I go to the candle store. I buy about $145 worth of candles. I come back. I come back. Come back. We walk by Van Lewins, you guys, and I'm calmly walking. She breaks conversation, breaks focus. B-lines directly, 45 degrees to the left. Body checks me and says nothing and walks into Van Luens to get herself ice cream. So, X program, bravo, bra, bra, bra, bra. She has a 20% burn cigarette. And no, she body checks me. She throws that fully-labor, bravo, bra, bra. She throws that fully lit. cigarette on the ground and walks into the ice cream place. And I'm standing there like, I'm like, oh, like, you guys know that meme of Jason pushing that

girl in the subway? Like, it's that. I'm like, oh, I go, oh, did you want to get ice cream? Excuse me. So they're getting up calmly like, they're like, you know, pushing their chairs back in. I'm running out of the candle store with a, with a 40 pound candle. Like, I just stole it. And I might have. I, I, with, with, with, candle, like, swinging, the bag swinging, almost hitting a car. and I light up a cigarette. I take like maybe a half a drag. Maybe I have a drag. And then I am me on the ground and shove it.

And I do a 90 degree hair pin turn. I shove her to a concrete wall. And then open. Shove means you used your arms. It was a complete body check. It was a hockey. It was a heated rivalry. Hip, no pads, hip check.

She's smashing the concrete wall. I open the door and told it open. She's already gone. She doesn't say anything to us. She just goes in on her own. I slam it shut. Mr. Wonderful's face. Yeah.

And I go and I go, I guess she's one size. It's like, can I have the honey lavender? Can I taste the honey lavender? Can I taste the honey lavender? No, no, I know. And then you ended up getting that weird Earth Day one. Oh, I loved it. The blue and green one.

It was right on the posters. Vegan. Oh, no, it wasn't. Oh, well, he was delicious. It was non-dairy. Oh, my God, it was delicious. Oh, my God, my mouth was watering. That's what I knew you were doing fine.

My, my, you were going to make a full recovery. You fucking kind. Like. And then I could not after, after like, just becoming aware, After the, after I taste the first, you know, they gave me the thing to taste. I was like, I realized what I had just done because you were literally, you're sitting there like, I think I was bleeding. So Mr. Wonderful is patching you up.

He's got, so he knows how to do stitches. And you are literally in shock and I, it cannot stop laughing. Sutures. And you're laughing. I cannot stop laughing. And then I'm like, I just hipchicked you. I just hip checked you. I just hipchek.

And I can't get it out because I'm laughing so hard. I'm almost pissing. Why don't you talk about who bought the ice cream? Mr. Wonderful. Yeah, thank you. And again, before, before I had to, I got the cone. and I just left. There you go.

Of course. Are you kidding? Took one lick of it threw it on the ground and the litter new cigarette. I wouldn't be surprised. No, I unhinged my jaw.

I threw the thing down. It didn't hit the sides. No, you know, it's more efficient. Open the stitches. Put the ice cream. Right in there. It's very soothing.

Very. You know, that UCB right there, because I go to that place like once a week. If you ever want to do a Tracy Martel siding, just go get a taco,

you'll probably see me. And one time I saw Tracy Tracy next door eating sushi. Tracy, that's what we saw Amanda Bines. Yeah. or hip check, Mr. Virgins. Thank you.

Watch my bald head get slammed into a wall. But that place, that place next door that's also there, it's like a deli, but they also have an outside area, the cafe thing or. Oh, sorry. I went there last week and I was sitting there and UCB is right there. Yes. And there was a chalkboard that said sloppy seconds, 7 p.m. And I said, well, surely that's not Meatball and Big Dipper.

It absolutely was. They have a show there monthly. Get out of here. And Meatball walks out with Darby Lynn. And I was like, no, with Alexis. I was like, oh my God, it's you. Incredible. And so it was like, not only did I not go to your show, but I sat in the table next to it and watched everyone leave and then said, oh, did you have a show?

I didn't even know. I've just been sitting here having a margarita. So I looked like some kind of pull-focused hater. I love it. It's like, basically, it's like. All these drag fans leaving. I'm sitting there with a margarita like, oh, was there a show? Didn't even know about it.

It's like, it's like Sharon Stone going to like some like up-and-coming bitches movie premiere just like. like chewing up the scenery outside, waiting for the paparazzi. 100%. Oh, me. Oh, me. Sharon Stone. I just, I was, where am I? Where am I?

Yeah. I also, I want to say, not that we have to apologize, but I was really disappointed. We didn't get, I got FOMO that we didn't get to do our Netflix as a joke show. Oh, and I saw our names on the advertisements all over town. Yeah, no, I did too. Yes, I did too. Oh, I did. I saw our names everywhere.

Oh, I didn't, but that's incredible. That's crazy. No, that sucks. Oh. I have more story. Wait, wait, wait, I want to, just on that note, before I forget, I just quickly want to, I know I don't have to, but I do want to say, like, I am, I am really, I don't know what the word is. I'm sorry that this happened, because I, I, I, I also, you sorry for. Shut the fuck up. I'm sorry that my breasts are so big.

Years of psychological warfare amid your working relationship with Trixie Mattel. I feel like that's a stretch. No, no, no, no, but like. You can stretch, bitch. Yeah, the two, the two Boston dates. You can't even exercise anymore. Not for, for a short while. Wait, we have to talk about you.

Brother. We're just Boston, Boston. Oh, Boston. They're rescheduled. They're rescheduled. But the thing about Boston is that I feel particularly bad because the thing about Boston is that we're not going to Connecticut. We're not going to Maine.

So people drive. I know. And I was excited because, I mean, when we played Wang, Wang's theater, it has a new name now, right? It's like the Ernie Bach Jr. or whatever. Yeah. You were like, you were crying. I was like, I can't believe. And so we were going to do two nights, which we still are.

Yes. But I was excited. But you're going to get sick this time. And you're going to die. Yeah, because I'm going to kill you. Are you kidding me? It was sucked because also, I mean, I just, I love going to Boston. But you're the Beyonce of Boston.

They'll wait for you. They'll wait for you. Yeah, I'm the Michelle. The way for you. The Michelle. Wolf. Wolf of Boston. So that, no, no, in all seriousness.

I'm the Michelle Wolf of Boston. Yeah. The wolf of, um, the wolf of a fucking Wall Street in a, the wolf of whatever. So anyway, the, um, I, no, that sucks. and I'm sorry. Because people do. like they make hotel reservations. That's what I feel bad about it.

It's like when they take it off. Some people have to take a three day work week. Or they take their vacation week. I know. I know. I feel for that too. Whatever I've had to cancel, I feel bad about that.

Some people like if they have a real job to even take off for a three day weekend is like a whole spiel. So I do. I know. What are you going to do? We get 13 seconds of maternity leave in this country. It's not my fault.

I'm sorry we don't live in Sweden. But you should use that maternity leave on our show. Thank you. Babies are welcome. Thank you. Obviously. You just had a C-section. Thank you.

you, Tutsi. No, you go first. I hate when you do this. So, no, no, there's a new comedian that I love that I have to. I have to shout out. Because this is the cool, this is the cool thing about drag race. And I love how famous you are. I love that for you.

I love that for you. I celebrate you. I, like, I'm, well, you're in Brooklyn trying to make your career mega wide and you're succeeding. I'm in the hospital going, you go, girl, you got this girl. I'll stay way down here. I'm the Ed McMahon, you're the Johnny Carson. I don't want to be famous. I don't need that. I'm happy. I'm me.

And I don't want that kind of fame. I can't deal with it. Obviously, you see what happens when I get a little bit of money. But you don't have to worry about becoming me because you never could. And I never will. And let's celebrate that. Let's celebrate the synergy of our inner and outer bodies aligning. Let's just use the months you have left in the best way we can. Yes. And I'm going to buy this $1,900 landcomb gel.

And I'm going to smear it all over my face. Right. So the, there's the greatest. Joy is like is finding these incredible stars, comedians. I mean, you know, like, oh, for example. So there's this Australian comedian, Ursula. What the fuck is her name? I love that name.

Ursula, but she spells it U-R-Z-I-L-A, I believe. Ursula. Ursula. And I don't have my fucking phone. Will you please look it up, Tracy? It's, it's, that is her. Ursula Carson. Oh, my God.

Oh, Carlson, Ursula Carcelain. She's got a show that's like, it's kind of like, it's a sketch show. It's a sketch show. It's so fucking funny. She does this bit where like she's in the hospital and they're, she's like, she's got, you know, she's stealing your bit. She's stealing my way. I was like, I'm watching her right out of the hospital.

And she's like, the doctor's like, oh my God, you're never going to believe this. But you have the world's smallest vagina. I'd even say it's petite. And she's like, can I get a second opinion? She's like, yeah, sure. And then she gets the second opinion, it's like, that is by far the smallest pussy I've ever seen. We've got London on the phone. And then she's got a laptop with London.

And the London was like, Jesus Christ, it's so freaking small. It's amazing. And then they get a fisherman. And they're like, they're like, old-time fishermen. What do you think? He's like, it's so small. I'd kiss it. And then they're like, well, does anybody measure it?

And then they get a diamond guy. They got a jeweler with the glasses. It's like, it's a perfectly absolute with the eye after it. Flawless. And then they're like, great. Now let's check the anus. And she's like, no, no, no. And they're like, oh my God, that's the biggest fucking asshole we've ever seen.

And then they just faint. It's amazing. So funny. Kind of like you. That was inspired by you in the hospital. It was. Did they have a catheter in your wiener? Is the Pope.

Does that hurt? I've never done that. Yes, they had a catheter that was attached to a bag that was orange red. As you know. Oh, right. How are you feeding the bag without the catheter? Sorry. And then, well, through the moon track.

No, I'm just like... No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's a fair question. And they pulled it out while I was awake. And I was conscious and it felt horrible. It was fierce girl.

I know. I had to go to the... I had to go to the rheumatologist like two weeks ago. Did they put it? Where's my pee bag? Because I've been doing poorly, so we're trying to figure out...

I will tell you this about... Have you downloaded the moon? My illness. You don't realize you're in remission until you get out of remission and you're like, wow, I felt so good for so long because I have been dying. It's been so bad.

I'm not to be woo in L.A., but have you charged your crystals? No, but I've been doing my card of the day every day. Thank God. Oh, good, good, good, good. It's usually Uno. Sometimes it's Mickey Mantle. I pull a card on my wallet. My card of the day.

My visa. Oh, thank you. My name's my black card. So, my Capital One card, my Delta card. By the way, I'm getting PS direct tomorrow. Don't come for me. Baby. Because I've been sick.

I justified it because I've been sick. Let me tell you something. Let me let you in on a little secret. I've gone behind your back. And I told our manager, I'm going to do this in this voice because it's diabolical. I said, with all due respect to the canceled, rescheduled part of my friend's dates, when I go back on that road, I want you to think of the following people. Queen Elizabeth, Elizabeth Taylor, Taylor Swift, anybody that owns a private jet,

I'm going to go in such pampered, exuberant, extravagant style within reason. Basically, transported like an organ transplant. I mean, yes. You wanted to go, P.S. I love you. It's P.S. I can't live without you. Not only am I on the plane.

I'm in the cockpit. And the pilot is Jason Statham. Yeah. And he's fucking me. And he, we're sucking each other off. Absolutely. Yeah. And then, and then the stewardess who is also Tom Cruise. Charlie's Africa. Charlie's Africa.

she's doing a play-by-play. Absolutely. And she's got Ursula Carlson on the line. And she's narrating it. And she's saying, you better fuck him. You better fuck him. You better fuck him hard. You better get that.

You better dick him down, but dick him into the fucking. Aer Lingus? Conno-Lingus. Okay. Analingis. Um, love. Shout out to Air Lingus. Love Aer Lingus.

Anyway, well, I guess we have to wrap up. But welcome back. Oh, oh, it's just changing. Got you. And shout out to the guests we had, we had, um, We had Maria Bamford. Actually, that was the first moment I almost had FOMO. But I've had the pleasure of speaking with her directly.

Can I tell you what happens to me though? What? Tracy said, oh. Are you going to blame me for something? Are you going to get pissed of aggressive with me? I can't deal with it. I can't do with it. I said, oh, she's sitting over there and Tracy goes, oh, Miss Pink. Apparently Katia sent a voice note. And I was like, oh, Maria, Katta sent a voice note. So I'm thinking it's going to be, hi Maria. love you. Really wish I could be there. But it's not a voice note for her. It's just a voice note for her. It's just a voice in general. And it's crazy. But you know what, though? Here's the thing. I love Maria. Maria is my favorite comedian. I would say always, ever since, ever since my...

Mine's Joe Rogan. Yours is actually Sam Kinnison. Of course. No, no. Stacey Kinnison. Rodney Dendron. No, so Maria Bamford, I'm actually like, I was in a way relieved because Maria Bannford is my friend Mallory Madjavon or Mallory back in Boston she I'll never forget she's like

you've got to watch this I was like I trust she has unimpeachable tastes most of the time so I'm like okay of course I put it on and it's her stand-up special filmed at home with her parents Yes and it is so insane I'm like I had it's like when Dorothy goes from black and white to technicolor

it's like it's such a paradigm shift I've never seen anything like that this is ages ago I think it's findable on YouTube now, that special. It has to be. It has to be. It was a while ago. It's at least rentable somewhere.

It's great. It's very, you can view it somehow. It's just her parents in her living room. The conceit is so bonkers and she commits to it so much. 100%. It's so funny. And also her.

And then I went and down the rabbit hall and then downloaded unwanted thought syndrome, I think, where she has the long sleeves of my right ladies, long sleeves. It's called a road show, I think. Roadshow, yes. So I.

I'm like, it's hard for me to interview the comedians like that because I have to fight so hard not to just regurgitate their own material at them or say, I can't, you know what I mean? I'm like, I, I, I, I just become a blubbering stand. And I, that was probably me. But, but you, it's, it's unavoidable. I was just such a, I just, I love her and I just was like, I try to be a good interview. But then again, does it make you a good interviewer if you actually know their material? Maybe that's good. No, I think it's great.

And it's certainly flattering. I mean, when I'm, I know, I know I've been in like interviews where like, it's almost eerie when they like Sean Evans you from Hot Ones and they're like, why do you know my social security number? Do you know what I mean? Like they know everything. But also it's like it is kind of fun when they're respectful and they're alert and present but they don't know any, they don't, but they're a good interview and they don't, they haven't done exhaustive research because then it's like you can tell repeat stories like they're the first time and then it's, but you're having a conversation. They're actually listening to you. No, I get it. There is a middle ground. But like I've often

on that like comedians interviewing comedians is like not funny sometimes do you know what I mean well that's all was when I had Robbie on who was awful I'm just kidding no Robbie Hoppin was amazing we had Marie Wade Robbie um the the two girls from you're not a comedian you're a model the two girls from um I MHO were amazing I saw some clips of Juno version they were forced upon Juneau was great she's just also so what a magic I think we have Kelly again ugh oh god Kelly Kapowski right yeah I wish I wish Kelly from 902.0. We had everyone's favorite drunkard down here. My God. Yeah, no, it's a, well, shout out to all them.

Shout out to all the guests. They all wish you were here. And I said she doesn't care about you. But you got to check out Ursula Carlson. I'll check it out. Everybody go see Ursula and everybody go see Ronnie. Yes, Ronnie, because I'm going to probably go do that as well. You better go, bitch. Drag my brother from staying with me. Oh my God. Last thing. Final thought. I'll tell you something. Jennifer and I, Jennifer and I went to an Italian dinner. Guess what happened three days later? My brother and I not only replicated the entire

meal in the kitchen of my kitchen, I'm going to dare say we fucking did it better. And then we did it better at the same fucking next day. And I actually improved on the sauce that I did. And don't, I want any smart comments from you because I'm telling the truth. And I can see that, I can see the, the, the, that you think on line, you think I'm perpetrating a fraud, you think I'm vindictive, you think this is a machination I've been talked to. I got your number, hussy. It happened. And I need you to do with it. I just have no problem. I just have no like expectation of what you're capable of sober. I do believe you know how to turn on your oven.

I just don't think it happens. You think I put my head inside it is when I do. But I want to say something? That's it. Well, thank you guys so much. And make sure you check if you are the rescheduled dates, Boston. We are coming. And redownload the moon tracker because there's an update.

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