The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Book a Ride with Beyonce's Balloons Today! with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

Calling all señiores and señoritas! Book your tickets today and soar above Mexico City with Beyoncé’s Balloons: the only luxury hot air balloon experience where altitude meets attitude! Founded by Trixie and Katya after a prophetic Katya fever dream involving an Aztec King, a singing churro, and Ben Franklin's kite, float gracefully over ancient Mesoamerican pyramids, swirling Mexico City traffic, and the emotional ruins of your last throuple. Each ride includes a Beyoncé-only playlist (NO SKIPS) and a thermos of lukewarm ginger-lime agua fresca. Plus, if the street tacos you dared to eat at 3 a.m. decide to throw a quinceañera in your intestines mid-flight, fear not—we offer our brand-new patented Sky Relief Capsule™: a private, glitter-lined lavatory pod with LED mood lighting and Beyoncé whispering “you got this” in ASMR. Beyoncé’s Balloons: Sky High, Bootylicious, and now Bowel-Safe! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self! Need a website? Head to ⁠⁠https://www.Squarespace.com/BALD⁠⁠ to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code BALD Start listening to Audible and discover what’s beyond the edge of your seat! New members can try Audible now free for 30 days by going to: https://Audible.com/BALD or text BALD to 500-500 Take advantage of our exclusive Hungryroot offer! For a limited time get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life! Go to: https://Hungryroot.com/BALD and use code BALD Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipsYT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://trixieandkatyalive.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://workinggirlsbook.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemotel.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Listen Anywhere! ⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast⁠⁠⁠   Follo​w Trixie: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemattel.com/⁠⁠⁠ ​ TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@trixie⁠ Facebook: ​⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠  Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠ Twitter (X): ​⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠   Follow Katya: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.welovekatya.com/⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@katya_zamo⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/welovekatya/⁠⁠⁠  Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠  Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠    About the Podcast: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya features a pair of grizzled gay ghouls sitting on chairs, holding microphones, and discussing their fabulous lives in Tinseltown. (featuring occasional forays into movies, television shows, and air-conditioning) The New York Times called them models, moguls, actors, influencers, drag queens, RuPaul's Drag Race contestants, and even humanoids. If one thing can be said about these two preternaturally gorgeous queens' podcast, it's that Trixie and Katya find the sheer, unadulterated beauty of pure insanity. Tune in every week to experience the auditory pleasure that is The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya. #TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whether it's a family member, friend or furry companion joining your summer road trip, enjoy the peace of mind that comes with Volvo's legendary safety. During Volvo Discover Days, enjoy limited time savings as you make plans to cruise through Muskoka or down Toronto's bustling streets. From now until June 30th, lease a 2025 Volvo XC60 from 1.74% and save up to $4,000. You can get a $25,000 Volvo XC60 from 1.74% and save up to $4,000. Conditions apply. Visit your GTA Volvo retailer or go to volvocars.ca for full details. This episode is brought to you by Intuit Turbo Tax Business. Introducing Turbo Tax Business, a brand new way to file your T2 with confidence.

Maximize every credit and deduction for your business as you file with help from our experts. Whether you're running a food truck, a fitness studio or a flower shop, TurboTax experts can help you find write-offs you might miss and credits you never even heard about, ensuring you get the most from your return. Intuit TurboTax business, new from TurboTax Canada. Some regional exclusions apply. Learn more at TurboTax.ca slash business tax. I'm Courtney Act. Many of you may know me from RuPaul's Drag Race, Celebrity Big Brother, Dancing With The Stars, or probably my hit album, Kaleidoscope! Well guess what? I have got a brand new show called R&R with Courtney Act, and I want you to check it out!

You know, I hate small talk, I want to go deep and I want to go quickly, and on my show we do just that. In today's world, it feels really polarized and we're more connected than ever, but really we can feel isolated and I don't like that. I want the story shared here on R&R to make us realize that our similarities are greater than our differences.

So join me and my fabulous guests like Nicole Baya, Tom Daly, Margaret Cho, Katya, Adore Delano, Jackie Beat and many more. If you're looking for some rest and relaxation, you've come to the wrong place because we are peeling back the layers of superficiality when we're getting down to the real stuff. Follow R&R with Courtney Act on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you're listening now. The Bald and the Beautiful Live is coming to a city near you. This year, there's only a few more chances to see us live, so don't miss out on the following

cities, starting now. So we're coming to Canada on October 3rd in Calgary at the Southern Jubilee Theatre. And on October 4th we're in Winnipeg at Club Regent. Tucson Arizona November 9th, the Linda Ronstadt Theatre, of course Linda Ronstadt, uh, Writer of Blue Bayou, one of my favorite songs. Thank you very much. And on November 13th, our asses are wiggling over to Honolulu What's my favorite Hawaiian island? Come on. I want to lay you. Tickets are available at Trixie and Katty.com. Hey broke ass I'm also broke so I can say that if you need a pre-sale code, it's bald, B-A-L-D. All right, bitch, you fucker. Uh. ["The Last Supper"] Hi, everybody.

This is a little, what would you call this? This is a little special put-in. Yeah, yeah, this little message because we feel that we can't really, while we're not a political podcast, we can't ignore what's going on in Los Angeles right now. Which is scary. Really fucked up and not great.

Yeah, because we pre-taped the show, you might not ever really hear us talk about something that's happening right now. So, we just wanted to make a special exception because we live right in the middle of these atrocities. And it's awful and we love you, Los Angeles, a place where everybody's from everywhere. Yeah, it's crazy here, it's super scary.

I... I think that ICE is a domestic terrorist organization. I don't... Because it is. It is. I mean, why do these people... Why are they... Why do they look like a militia? Why were they covering their faces? Why are they, are they ashamed of their behavior? Their deplorable, despicable, like criminal behavior? Yeah.

Like the fuck? I also, crazy. You know, I watch 28 hours of news a day and right now they keep saying that they are supportive of peaceful protests, but I'm like, all right, you're shooting reporters. Did you see the fucking Australian reporter? Like, and the guy was like this.

Yes. Boom. Then it was another reporter who they have their credentials and they're barely letting them in. Then I saw on the news today that one of the highways where they knew the overpass was People Go Science, they shut down the highway. It's because they don't want anyone to see the protest.

And they are saying that they're supportive of protests, was people who had signs, they shut down the highway. It's because they don't want anyone to see the protest. And they are saying that they're supportive of protest, but also calling it unlawful assembly and detaining everyone. And insurrectionists. When I heard Miss Thing say insurrectionists, the January 6th people are what? Getting pardoned?

Girl. Just, you know, Katya and I live right in the middle of Los Angeles and it's horrible. And I'm sorry. And look out for yourselves. This is not a political podcast. It's not. And we, I think that we talked about this earlier

that I think that our most significant contribution to the culture as it were is levity and humor. It's calling my own body Greek yogurt. That's, you know. It's pussy tits and a little tits's, you know. It's puts these tits in, little tits, little ass, little cut cut. Yes. You know, and it's relief.

It is. Los Angeles is a beautiful place full of people from everywhere. Yeah. But we're gonna do our job, which is make you laugh. So. Yeah. We're gonna talk about peepee and poo poo now.

Okay. How can we not start this pod by talking about how HBO Max went back to HBO Max? Max is HBO Max went back to HBO Max? Max is HBO Max again. For two fucking years, I've been saying, watch Trixie Motel on HBO Max. People go, well, it's actually Max now. And I go, oh, I'm sorry. And now these bitches have the nerve to say, never mind.

We are who we, you said we were, honey. I've only like, I'm almost halfway to the point where I've like reacclimated to searching for the other app on my thingy. Right. And now they're gonna change it. What's the problem, what's the problem, what happened? They woke up and the branding interns said,

switch my wig, make him feel like you're cheating. Like you're cheating. Wow, shit. The thing is, I have news for you, HBO Max, you've been HBO Max. We all say HBO. HBO ain't going nowhere because you don't want it to go nowhere.

It's the home broadcasting office. Home box office. Also Pepsi Max got the jump on you. Tea. Oh, home box office. Home box office. What did I say? Home Buster Keaton office.

Let's take a break. I just think it's, I woke up and was just like, really? I felt like that Jasmine Masters meme of like a fucking gay, nothing different, nothing new. Just as I thought, trash, no good. So what is the, do you not have the inside scoop about like what actually happened? Because you know there's some crazy shake up where people got fired and killed and all that stuff.

It was like the gayest person you know coming out to you. But coming out as what? As gay. No, no, no, but I know, but like, who's head's up? It's like, who's head's up? I wanted you all to know that I'm gay. It's like- This might come with a shaw.

Guess what, Max? We been knew. We been knew that you're HBO. I know, but who's head rolled? That's what I wanna know. I don't know. Maybe they just gave up the ghost. I mean, at a certain point, like-

No, there's no ghost give up. They like fired like 50 people, I bet. They're trying to be like, oh, well, I'm Bricky Lake. Bricky Lake? No, bitch, you're Brickney Spears. Brickney Spears. Brickney Spears.

So HBO Max is HBO Max. And now we can say it without people correct. It's actually Max. Well, why did they switch to Max in the first place? Wasn't it to save money or something? I think it's a tax pit. So they don't have to pay residuals? Tax pit.

It was so that they wouldn't be illegal. Oh I'm sorry my name is HBO by the way. I'm sorry that I produce high quality entertainment and have been doing that for the last 30 years. And you're she's the number one purveyor of what do you call it prestige? Sunday night prestige television you bitch you fat ugly bitch You you happy you stupid happy little bastard you dumb bitch Listen, I'm at home. By the way HBO Max water the home of the rehearsal. Thank you It is the home of the curse the home of Trixie Motel Nathan for you

It's the home of the best programs Motel. Nathan for you, not for me. It's the home of the best programs. Game of fucking Thrones, The Sopranos. The Sopranos. Hello Taco Bell, are you hiring? Okay, I will come down and fill out an application. It's the best, it's, mama, I grew up on HBO, she raised me. She raised you. No, I'm not joking. Six feet under?

Six feet under, Sex and the Fucking City. Sex and the City? Dream On? That's a deep cut. Of course. The Smurfs? I don't know about that, I made that up. Real sex?

Sing To? Pitch purplish? Secret Life of Pets? Oh. Whenever Brandon, when he talks about his personal life, I assume he has one. Your secret life. I'll say, tell me about your secret life of pets.

And that's what, you know. He do have a secret life. He do have his personal life. I assume he has one. I'll say, tell me about your secret life of pets. And that's what, you know. He do have a secret life. He do have a secret life. Sometimes I, you know, I clock him. You clock his tea. You clock his non-binary tea. And it's very valid. It's very hot and piping.

The best is when you're on Grindr and you see someone and it's like, someone you work with or someone, and you have to comment girl or like just the eyeball emoji. I like immediately block. You do? Oh yeah.

It's humiliating. I love to get him. Absolutely humiliating. I love to get in there and say, what are you up to tonight? Or like, you know. Looking. Yeah.

What local news? Any local news? Are you horned? Can I tell you what happened last night? As long as you don't, as long as you don't forget to remind me about Beyonce. Yeah, yeah, we'll talk about Beyonce. We will talk about Beyonce.

We both saw Beyonce. And we have a lot. I saw it on a Wednesday, you saw it on a Friday, and here at Englewood. Two different days. And we can talk about it. I think we should save it for the end because it's gonna be so explosive.

How are we gonna follow it? That's a really good point. So last night, I don't know if you know this, but get into this. The Republicans in the cover of night are just passing the great big beautiful bill, whatever the fuck they're calling it. They're big beautiful? Great big beautiful bill or whatever the fuck.

Big big. It's billed back better with the big big. The BBW midnight special, whatever they're doing. I just have to say as a politician myself, if you're up doing it the witch's hour, if your blood oath, murder, like taking food out of baby's mouth piece of paper has to get signed in the cover of darkness like a fucking witch.

After 2 a.m. by the way, which anybody in Hollywood or anywhere else knows that nothing good happens after 2 a.m. Nothing, unless you're in LA, or in New York I think it's 4 a.m. Nothing, unless you're in LA, or in New York, I think it's 4 a.m. Yeah, and then you go to after hours. In New York, everything in nightlife is too late in New York.

No, I don't understand that. In New York, sometimes they don't even start eating until 4 a.m. That's what they say about Barcelona. We have dinner at 1130. That sounds awful. Yeah, it sounds terrible. What do you do at five, pray?

I'm hungry by five o'clock. They take a three hour nap. Okay, so. I just think it's, and did you do you do at five? Pray? I'm hungry by five. Take a three hour now. Okay, I just think it's and what did you see one of the things in it? Obviously, they're slashing Medicaid. They're taking literally life saving things away from people. We're not talking luxuries. We're talking can I get a hospital bed for myself at my house? Yeah, Medicaid things are all like, super fine printing out and then they're giving huge tax cuts to the wealthy. Which are really well needed. Well, thank God. I know, I was like...

One of the tax cuts is the craziest thing and I had to tell you about it. What is it? One of them is tax cuts for people who have tanning beds in their homes. Which, by the way, is money elitist and fucking racist. All these rich white people need their tanning bed coupons. Honey, go outside. I hate everything. Tanning bed is the sun. I hate everybody.

It's fierce, it's so fierce. By the way, Planet Fitness has tanning beds, $20 a month. You can get any tanning bed in Planet Fitness. Are they getting a tax cut? I highly doubt it. And I just think it's funny that under a certain administration, where everybody's very Caucasian and sometimes even orange, they said, you know what? I mean, you're in your, you're,

he's hanging up. I bet he hangs upside like a bat, like a bat when he tans and he opened those big eyes and said, I think I, I think I should get a little financial kickback for this. Yeah. I just think it's crazy. That is so money elitist and fucking racist. It's also, I saw the footage of them in the celebrating. And you know what? Up all night. I felt like I had X-ray vision glasses on and I saw a bunch of lizards.

Just a bunch of nasty lizards. Like not wanting to do public service, not giving a shit about any taxpayer, not giving a shit about anybody, but themselves in their weird, like, cabal of fucking pervert, nasty pieces of shit. It's really hard. I just wanted to get out of the way

because I'm just, I'm fascinated with the idea of sitting down and going, well, this one's gonna be unpopular, folks. What do we schedule at 2.30 a.m.? And how about we just try to keep the cameras off and dim the lights? It's a joke. And we just get our tax rebate on our training bed?

Yeah. What about a get our tax rebate on our tanning bed. What about a mail-in rebate? Remember the days of mail-in rebate? I have never, do you, has anybody? $200 off a washer or dryer at Best Buy with a mail-in rebate. Fine print, you gotta read that. Have you ever had a, have you ever done that?

I don't think I've ever. Have you seen, did you see on Nathan for you when they put the rebate on top of a mountain and you have to go hand carry it to a mailbox and he keeps them all night asking them riddles Wait, I've been so I caught up on the dollars off their gas. I caught up on the rehearsal a little bit I finished the the the parenting one and I gotta ask you wait. I gotta ask you the first season with no parenting No, I saw I saw it but there were new episodes. I think or no, I guess I didn't finish it I'm only I'm only up to see that I episodes. I think. Or no, I guess I didn't finish it. I didn't finish it.

I'm only up to season... I'm on the season that's about the plane ride. I haven't started that yet. Okay. The parenting one is wild. The kids climbing in the windows is wild. I was like, I found myself, I'm like, okay, what reality is the real one right now? And like, in which reality should I be actively concerned about this child?

What about when the child starts to think it's his dad? That's what I'm saying! I was like, this is heartbreaking. Is he a monster? Right. What about in episode two of that first season? Nathan, please come on the pod. Anytime. Day or night? 2 a.m. Nathan, come on at 2 a.m. on the pod. Our first live episode in Cover of Darkness. What about the second episode where the guy is trying to talk to his strange brother at a Raising Cane's chicken finger restaurant It's fucking in the people in the restaurant has a chicken and they're holding up going they can't talk Union rules like the little kids party they can't talk. Yeah that

Love that which by the way fake talking is more energy than. Thank you. It's more, well, I guess you don't have to. Well, that makes me think of real TV whenever you see a party and it's like, Janine, should we go dance? And they're like. Oh, dancing, no music. The extras are there going.

That is so weird. I've done it. I've done it. I can't remember where, but I did it. I hope it's a slow dance and you're like... No, slow... You're like Elaine. Yeah.

I owe $949 to SAG. What do you think about that? You do? Mm-hmm. What do you think about me calling it SAG? SAG. I owe money to SAG. Let me get my SAG Aftra card.

Why do you owe money to SAG? You're not anything. Ask a friend. You don't work. You don't, you no job haven't bitch. By the way, that's SAG. We didn't book. You don't, you no job haven't bitch. By the way, that's seg. We didn't book in anything this year, but we'd like our due.

Listen, I'm all for unions. If they want to come give me a rectal exam, that's fine. Fran Drescher needs your money. Give her $90. How much is it? $949. But I think every year it's like three grand. Yeah, I mean, I think we should pay it, but why are you behind?

You didn't pay? I don't know. I just got an email that said, you're made do's are due, bitch. You fat ugly bitch. We won't book you for nothing, but... Well I've seen how much you complain on union things. Imagine how much you complain on an independent program with like, here's your bag of Cheetos, bitch.

Yeah, and take that dog sled up the mountain, bitch. Have you ever... Well, non-union work. All of drag is fucking non-union. I was gonna say. You're being paid with a, you know, um... Bitch. Have you ever... well, non-union work. All of drag is fucking non-union. You're being paid with a, you know, um... Cocaine use. Wait, what? What?

Wait, what? Union-sanctioned cocaine? Brand dresser approved. I saw cocaine use this weekend. I saw cocaine use. For the first time? No, it's just like, it's been a while. Cocaine? Champagne?

It was Cocaine, it was in Mexico. Wait, you went to Mexico? Yes, this weekend. The hot air balloon. Oh my god. Talk about it, talk about it. Okay, well I guess I... Can we go back?

Yeah, to what? Because, well let's talk about Mexico later. Okay. Okay? We can save it for the next pod. I saw Cocaine... Well, okay, go back. I didn't see Cocaine use, but I heard someone was doing it. Okay. We can save it for the next pod. I saw cocaine. Well, okay. Go back.

I didn't see cocaine use, but I heard someone was doing it. It's not the same thing, you stupid bitch. Oh my God. So you didn't actually see it? No, I was working. I was in drag, but I had someone run to, oh, run to my dressing room and grab this.

And they were like, someone was doing cocaine. I was like, oh my God. In your dressing room? Well, I was sharing a dressing room. With people who do cocaine. Cocaine use. Okay. And I guess people do it.

I just like forget about it. And then you see the cocaine use and you go, holy shit. It's like seeing an Amish person or something. It's like, whoa. You know? Well, I associate cocaine with straight people. They love it.

Because K is very gay. K is gay, Coke is straight. Coke is woke. Well, because Coke is like very up. But the gays for the drinkers, you know, like it sobers me up so that I can drive. That's beer. That's crazy. It's actually, but actually, like, that's the feeling that straight people have on cocaine. Like, I need a little bump so I can drive

home. Do you know that? Yeah, I do. It's crazy. You know, I know that Gen Z doesn't drink because it's obviously they're in a much worse financial bucket than us when we were that age. It's like the economic stretch is much worse. And also I understand that they're more health conscious because they know that alcohol shrinks your brain and the ethanol kills the cells of your walls, all kinds of stuff. Buy a bottle of pink Sir vodka. Go ahead.

But I also think it's crazy that, do young straight people not know, Gen Z, back in the day we used to go to the bar with a handle of booze in the trunk. You step outside, you chug booze in the parking lot, and then go back in the bar. You can go into the bar and actually not buy many drinks. Absolutely. You can go get a water. Boof. Yeah, boof. Boofie. Boofie the vampire slayer.

Boof the bourbon. Boof the bourbon. Oh. ["Ballin' the Beautiful"] Today's episode of Ballin' the Beautiful is brought to you by Better Help. I gotta tell you, the world is wild. The world is unleashed, unhinged,

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They really creep me out. Start listening and discover what's beyond the edge of your seat. New members can try Audible now for 30 days and dive into a world of new thrills. Visit audible.com slash bald or text bald to 500-500 That's audible comm slash bald or text bald to 500-500 So someone was doing cocaine in your dressing room, and then you went on a Hot air balloon ride okay, so I had to well I got the opportunity to go to Mexico City this weekend

Which is just a beautiful city my god Mexico pouring out for Mexico City beautiful people nice people stunning heads of hair thick glossy not bald gorgeous hairs and I went with two girlfriends from college and I said I'm going to Mexico to do take out the emblema and it's gonna be a huge music festival I'm gonna get to DJ would Would you guys like to come? We can all hang out. And they said, sure. So my friends Becca and Claire, shout out to the pod,

who you've met both of them several times. Love them both. So they told me I could tell this story. Poor Claire gets the good diarrhea. She gets the good diarrhea. The kind where you don't have time to close the bathroom door behind you when you're running in there.

You know what I mean? Damn. Like that, I mean? Damn. I felt the earth move. That is that jet pack diarrhea. Three inches off the toilet seat. The cyber truck diarrhea. The real shit. Damn.

What'd she do? She drink some water from the tap? Well, poor thing. She was well enough to go to my thing, which, you know, Becca and Claire aren't music festival people and so they were very supportive to come and watch me and clap and enjoy it. And then I thought, well, you guys, if we get through this, we're going to a real tourism the next few days. So we got to do my show and then we'll go do a real shit. We went to see a castle in Mexico City, a Mexican castle. And then something they don't tell you about Mexico. Mexico is

very old. Yeah. They have shit that is older than old shit. So we got in a hot air balloon. That didn't stress you out at all. Okay. I find it to I find it completely terrorizing. So like there's a lot of reasons you wouldn't have gone. First up, we had to be picked up at the hotel at four thirty in the morning. No ma'am. Okay. No ma'am. The day before Becca goes so tomorrow we have pick up at four thirty and then she goes and you said In a text that you were fine with it and I was like damn She's got me because she knew I was about to launch into a complaint. Why 430?

It's so early because we got to drive an hour out of the city Get in the they have give you coffee sign the waiver whatever and then you get in Okay, so Becca first of all Claire can't come cuz she has diarrhea So that bodes well because you don't want diarrhea in a hot air balloon You don't You are a hot air balloon What are you gonna hang out the side of the basket? Little booty off the side. Yes, and

The ninjas and the abuelitas below do not deserve you to shit on them. Face speckled with brown. You look up and see a white ass just shitting? Like, no, you know what I mean? So Claire doesn't go. Claire's big white ass shitting. We feel bad because Claire's, she has a minor in Spanish. She got a master's in Spanish. Oh shit.

She speaks fluent Spanish and it was like, Claire's our guide and because she's dedicated to so Oh, shit. She speaks fluent Spanish, and it was like, Claire's our guide. And because she's dedicated to so much of her life to learning Spanish, we were like, this is really her trip. This is her moment. And then she couldn't go. And so we feel horrible for her,

because not only can she not go, she's at home sick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is she like helping you on the toilet, like with phrases and stuff? No, she's texting us, being like, you know, miss you guys, wish I could come and we feel awful.

And so that's me and our group. And we end up, we're in a van. They don't tell you this. They put you in a van, a huge Sprinter van with a bunch of other people who are going. Straight people. Oh. Straight. Like, and when I see straight people in their 20s on a trip, I immediately think hostile.

I think this is how horror movies start. This is... Human trafficking. Yeah. Like, come on, Troy, this isn't funny. And then you like walk over and get your tits hacked off. You know, so like everything about a straight group of people... Some German businessman is like watching on a monitor.

Yeah. So I am the last person to get in the van, and I'm sitting in this single seat And you know Becky with the good hairs behind me this blonde girl in a white linen dress with a white linen shirt And she's ready for her instant Moment and I hope she doesn't hear this and I'm sorry to tell the story She starts throwing up in the moving vehicle leaving Mexico City. She starts going, and then she's going, open over, open over.

So then her boyfriend saves the day goes, hey senior, can we pull over? My girlfriend's about to blow chunks. And I have my headphones in, and one part of me is grossed out. The other part of me is like, the other part of me is like, it's early, this is crazy. And you know what I thought of immediately?

Katya's gonna love to hear about this. So she's, what? We're in Mexico, so a centimeter. She's eight centimeters behind me, puking. And the guy's on the highway and he goes, I can't stop, we're on the highway. So he keeps driving, she keeps puking. Puking on what, where?

In her dress? To her credit, she got up and there was no puke. She must've keeps puking puking on white where I? In her dress to her credit She got up and there was no puke. She must have been puking down her shirt protecting the group That is to her that's cunts. That's considerate and she gets off. She's any white linen and when she walks by me Some droplet hits me here. So I'm already like great. I'm gonna die covered in yeah You're gonna be going to the pouch or a contagion. She gets off and her lovely boyfriend helps her off and she

turns to the rest of the van, which is like eight more of her friends and goes like, you guys just go without me. I don't want everybody's time to be ruined. We will Uber back. It's totally fine. So we leave her. So I'm like, yeah, we're the straight people dropping like flies. We've lost my friend. We've lost her. Right? And so, and it's also like, you know, you feel corny as a Caucasian person on vacation

in Mexico to get sick. It feels corny boots. It's a little predictable. It's like coming out on a coming out day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys! Yeah. So we get there.

On a coming out day. It's so early. The sun is starting to rise. Okay. Yeah. So we get there. I'm coming out today. It's so early. The sun is starting to rise. And I'm standing in a field outside of Mexico City, like here we are, girls. And I see 20, 30 hot air balloons starting to get erected with a balloon.

And it occurs to me, they do this 20 or 30 times a day every day. This can't be unsafe. So I ask Google, I say, is it unsafe to hot air balloon? And Google says it's one of the safest, it's the safest form of air travel and it's safer than driving. Okay. Okay. I mean, not for Ms. Puke behind me. It's not safe for her. Also, actually, think about it. You get sick talking puke, not that one. Right. Hot air balloon, fabulous place. Yeah. Portable toilet, just outside.

You know what I mean? And shout out, and I don't want to expose this woman's information, so I don't know her name or anything, but- Her name is Kelsey Robinson, 616. But Claire, Claire, friend of the pod, told me I could use her name, so thanks Claire. Thank you, Claire.

You know, and also, I don't know, Shitting Yourself story on vacation is not exactly novel. Travel fucks up everybody's body except ours. I know. Because it's all we do. Yeah, it's always fucked up. It's like, if you stay sick, you don't have to get sick. T. Everyone in my group had diarrhea. Yeah. Except me.

And I'm sitting there with my, you know, 19 inch cig, like whatever, you know. Cast iron stomach. Completely fine. I'm like, you know, so we walk over to the hot air balloon and I'm like, holy shit This is happening and it occurs to me. This is a balloon in the sky with a basket and fire and fire fire So a basket fire a giant balloon and I'm thinking where's the gas? How do I know the whole thing doesn't turn on fire? And by the way last week in Mexico City last week There was a viral video of a hot air balloon started on fire and falling to its death last week

Somebody might group sends it. I said, thanks so much. It's like first time in like a hundred years apparently. I don't know So it takes off the guy starts going they pull a thing and hot hot fire propane or whatever Yes Yeah And we start lifting and there are six to eight men guiding it off the ground and before you know it We are fucking floating away like a roller coaster with no track T And it's a basket. Maybe the size of a quarter of this room. Okay small do you either chairs inside? No, but it's cut into a middle section

We're just the operator as the pilot and I looked, they have real training where they get like certifications, like a real pilot. I would hope. But I didn't know. It's not like a tandem bicycle. You need some credentials. Well, I didn't know if it was like super regulated the way planes are. I didn't know.

You know, do you need a license to skydive? I don't know. I would not get in a helicopter without doing some research. Right. What about a helicopter? Like from one of the hair shows, the helicopter of hair? I hold some research. Right. What about a helicopter like from one of the hair shows? The helicopter of hair. I hold her legs.

Yeah. She just goes. And she just goes. That's the safest way to travel. You hold her thighs really tight. Of course you can only go from a hair show to a Sephora and back. That's all you can do.

You get an ultra if you want. Cause you need to get hair sprayed once you get there. You know? And you better hope the hair doesn't come out of the head. So we're in the air. And at first we're a little bit off the air and I'm like, this is so cool, this is crazy. I look off the edge and it occurs to me,

as we get really high, it occurs to me, my feet are here, then there's actual Wicker basket. We're in a Easter basket. In the sky. Basket in the sky. And they have a JBL speaker playing like 99 Red Balloons. Oh no. Come fly with me, 99 Red Balloons. Real literal.

Yeah, Coldplay, sky full of stars. And I was like, this is crazy. It's also a very well-trodden songwriting-wise. Oh, flying, of course. And then it accursed me why it's called the Sky. It's also a very well-trodden songwriting-wise. Oh, flying, of course. And then it occurs to me why it's so early. We're watching the sunrise from a balloon in the sky. Oh, duh!

Surrounded by 20 or 30 other balloons. It was like being in a Windows XP screensaver. It was so cool. If anybody has the privilege to go to Mexico... Do it. We also, how much did it cost? Don't remember. So we're, I also don't understand how money works there. Okay. Oh, here's your meal. It's 26,000 pesos. Yeah. Yeah. I think we could just. I know the same thing with rubles, like same thing with rubles. It's like $5 is 450,000. Why are we doing all that? Why are we doing all that? Why don't you just like cut some of those zeros off, you bitch?

Are there pennies there? Well, pesos. I know, but is there anything lower like dollars, quarters, nickels? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've got to have change. So look at one peso is cents. It's like 0.01 cents. So what could be smaller?

That's why I'm asking. Oh, no. Oh, I see what you mean. Well, of course it could be smaller. If they do like 150, is anything ever 150? There's pesos and the paquitosos. I think we should all be using the crypto. Oh, the Dogecoin for sure.

The Trump coin. And so we're in the balloon because once I got over the fear of it, I go, oh my God, we're going to see Mexican pyramids. I'm fucking- From the balloon? From the balloon. The balloon lands and then I get to go to the pyramids, which fun fact- Look at you complaining. Are called temples.

They're only called pyramids colloquially. They're not hollow and it's not really a pyramid. They're flat on top. Oh, we didn't know that and they were named by the Aztecs who only found them and thought they were built by gods because the people who built them are from so long ago We have no idea who they are or like what they called themselves It was so crazy to be somewhere so old And then we went to go down to into caves to see where the people slept because it's so crazy to be somewhere so old. I love that. And then we got to go down into caves

to see where the people slept, because it's so hot, they slept underground. That didn't freak you out? No, it was just amazing. Mexico's very cunty. I know. Shout out to Mexico. Yeah, shout out to Mexico.

That's our sponsor of today's pod. Also, yeah, the country of Mexico. The country of Mexico. La Ciudad de Mexico. What about our country only being like 40 years old? That's the thing. I'm like the oldest thing here. Well, it's Boston. No, like Native American shit. Well, yes.

But America loves to not exactly build museums for that. And also they don't really love talking about that. No. So we're at we're at this castle in Mexico and we're like, wow, this was built for a while. It was used as a headquarters for military for a while. of Mexico and emperors of Mexico like lived here in America, the way we completely do not acknowledge the history of indigenous people. We act like American history started in 1490 fucking two. You know, so how about how about the other English speaking countries like doing land acknowledgments when you land

like in Australia and New Zealand for example. We're belong to knowledge. We live on the land of the wall of war. It's like so aggressive and here we are on the very opposite side of that spectrum. Like what genocide, bitch? What are you talking about? 100%. What are you talking about?

Slavery? What are you talking about? We are you talking about slavery? What are you talking about? We are from the era of Sarah Pellin telling us that it's like it was a hoax if you believe it didn't happen Guess what it didn't I just was like wow Mexico relating themselves to this culture and treating it as their ancestors instead of basically acting like bloop. Sorry. Yep the people that we don't even know the name of it because there's no way. So the Mayans and the Aztecs, are they contemporaries or no?

Aztecs found these structures and thought they were built by gods because they thought the people had a volcanic eruption or famine, but all those people were gone. Who made them? We don't know. Probably the same people who did Stonehenge. I recognize that work. I think it was, oh, you know who it was? It was, um, it was on

Chad's Property Brothers. It was the Property Brothers and Chas Bono for sure. It was Chas Dean. It was a Chas Dean salon. I saw this sign. There was a little overgrowth, jungle overriding. We gotta talk about Chaz Dean's salon. We gotta talk about these billboards. Mama, if you have the opportunity to get a billboard, I suggest you do it. It's a great, wonderful way to remind people that you exist and that you are slaying the game.

You would think she's a musical artist. It looks like, like this is Beyonce's Lemonade visual album. Oh no, it's a Chaz Dean billboard. Also, I feel like with, especially with styling, like that particular profession where, where desirability is so like pinned down to like, elusiveness, like you can't catch me

because I'm so sought after. Being so aggressively like promotional is a very weird flex, you know what I mean? It's fierce. Yeah, like he could either be a total flop, like arsonist or a legend or somewhere in between, but probably one of the, you know, either or. I mean, we sell things with our faces on them,

but we're entertainers, you know. Yeah, we all, that's what we do. And it's not our faces. No. That's not us. They're masks. They're masks. His billboards are so fierce. Today's episode of All Them Beautifuls

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That's Chazdine? No, no, no. No, no, no. That's mistress Isabel Brooks. No, they had those for sale in Mexico at the markets. For $0.1. In this gentleman, I said, so what do they mean? I was like, this cute?

They have these big chubby cheeks with angel wings. And he said, well, people just like them. And I said, great, thanks for the... This is a really interesting story. I thought he was gonna be like, oh, it's a religious figure. Or like it represents the children of gang members slain by the Sinaloa cartel.

He said, people like the big cheeks and people think they're cute. And I said, thank you, senior. Sometimes it just is what it is. It just is what it is, and that's enough. You know what I mean? We don't need to be anything more than what we are. What did you do last weekend?

Because when I'm gone, I know that you're not working. No, you did work. I did. Huge, if true. What did you do? Girl, that's a great question. But I did. Huge if true. What did you do? Mary, a girl, that's a great question. But I did it. I thought you worked in San Francisco with Peaches.

I worked at Stanford in Palo Alto at Stanford University with Peaches. Who's in Palo Alto? She gave me this lovely t-shirt. Support the girls. Love Peaches. She's always a delight to work with. She is. Because she dishes backstage and it's so funny.

She's great. She's a real... Hum so funny. She's great. She's a real... Humdinger? She's not exactly... Of a great beauty. No. No.

No. No. No. I love working with her because I look amazing. No, I'm just kidding. No. She's not exactly an impenetrable fortress when it comes to gossip.

No, yeah. Let's just say she lets people ride the subway for free. Yeah, totally. She was, one time she was like, I heard from so-and-so that you said that I was gossip. I was like, you're gossiping now. You're doing it now. You're doing it now.

You're calling me to tell me what you heard about you. God, I love her. It's so transparent. I didn't know all this stuff about like the continuing mystery about Hicklini and all that stuff Which I find fascinating talk about it. Well, I don't know about it. Nobody does that's the whole point basically there is a movement Beseeching and suggesting and and there's also like there's media right like Hulu or somebody or what there is like a suggestion that this was not

Reported upon properly, is not investigated properly. Because of a... Because of the nature of it. Yes, because potentially or allegedly, there may be people with very high profiles involved in the... Right. It's like, so say for example, you're Kate Middleton.

Yeah. And you're going to a PNP orgy. Right. You don't, when somebody dies at the orgy, you want to scoot off real quick and not have the British royal family know that you went to a PNP orgy. Right. Um, you don't, when somebody dies at the orgy, you want to scoot off real quick and not have the British Royal family know that you went to a PNP orgy. The freak off. Yeah. Who's going to match your freak? But you know what I mean? That's totally the implication. I mean, I don't know if people remember, I think we talked about this on the pod when it happened, but Peaches and Hicklina were in London living together,

working on some projects and Hicklina passed away. No, she died. She passed herself away. She passed herself away. And Hekalina was such a force. And in a way, you know, Peaches and I have joked about like, listen for Hekalina, sex, drugs and rock and roll. Yeah, what a way to go, of course, right? Not like slipping on a puddle

and whacking your head on the sidewalk. Right, but the way it was investigated and handled and the accountability. And I mean I don't think it's wild to suggest that if it's An LGBT person or a black person or you know that things don't get exactly their due Diligence, you know and so people just want that kind of justice across the board because

Hicklena was so big and also so full of herself. So like I feel like this is very fitting She's like y'all aren't gonna forget me. Heklin is like, why have you all stopped talking about me? Yeah, I was just like, it's only been two weeks. Hello. Excuse me. I definitely want foul play. Like I want DNR and then foul play. You should have been on the case.

Yeah. I need you to not resuscitate me, but not stop talking about me. Well, do you remember when it happened? Do you remember what we said to each other? That's, we picked up the phone and said, I thought it happened? Do you remember what we said to each other? That's there. We picked up the phone and said, I thought it was going to be you.

It should have been you. She said, I thought it was going to be me too. Yeah. Well, I mean, duh. Yeah. Like that's just the brutal reality of it. It's tough. I mean, it's you know, we just lost Jiggly, the Vivian, Chi Chi, Hekline, like the list of drag queens, Sahara, like the list of drag queens, we lose high profile drag queens is always odd. Well drag queens. We lose high-profile drag queens. It's always odd

Well, well a because they're usually under 50 right and anybody under 50 then you're 90 102 you know You look really old but What would you do if you got a call? To be on American Idol To be on American Idol, to be on American Idol, the singing show, I would do it. Would you ever work if America's Next Top Model were hiring like male models and they approached you

like in person? I would think it was a Josie Grossy situation. I would say Nathan Fielder, come out. Okay. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you hear about that part of it? Nathan Fielder and Nathan for you, I believe. Or wait, no.

In one of his shows, he has the people auditioned for a singing competition. And he picks somebody to go to Hollywood. And do you have these, this girl was like, I flew my, I flew myself out to audition for this show. That's a singing competition that wasn't real. And she spent her own money and took off work. Do you think there's an unethical angle of what he does or exploitative facet to what

he does? Cause sometimes I've read certain critical like pieces or whatever about it, but I'm like, I don't know. Sometimes it does seem a little like, ew. Well, it's not exactly reality, but I wouldn't say that it crosses more lines than reality television across the board. But I don't think reality television is ever projecting a squeaky clean image, like a squeaky clean image. Right.

Do you know what I mean? Whereas like, I don't know, you wouldn't really have any assumptions. He's deception, like that's actively deceiving. Right? I don't know, can I say that I don't know, you wouldn't really have any assumptions, he's deception. That's actively deceiving. I don't know, can I say that I don't have an opinion because I love the program? I do too. I think it says something really different

than anything else on TV. And there's also no rubric for what he's doing on TV right now. No, but you know what he's up to. Like we know what he's up to and we know that these are rubes he's like juggling. You know what I mean? I don't know. But then again, like, I don't know.

Like, in the first season, the woman who agrees to do this live-in marriage with him... She's wild. She's wild, but... She's also really, like... She was fine with it. Yeah. She can tell, like, that's not a person

I want to feel sorry for. She's got this. What about when she's like, did you know that eating poop is satanic? Yeah. I love that shit! Love. She's so great. What about when she's like, did you know that eating poop is satanic? Yeah, I love that shit. She's so great. That's when you leaned in and you said, ooh, if eating poop makes you satanic.

Ooh. I, okay, wait, wait. I know we're not supposed to talk about poopoo and peepee, but wait a minute. I tuned in on Netflix last night, oh no, on HBO Max, I think. And it it was a guy who he was pulling down his linen pants Okay, and here's hairy butt head was caked with shit What show was it? It was uh

It was called Yeah What Gaby's dollhouse. Yeah. Yeah. What? What? Have you ever seen that? It was called Leaving Neverland. No, it was a comedy thing. And for the whole episode, he had shit-caked legs, dick, and balls, and ass.

Wow. And I was like, you know, can I say what Nathan reminds me of? Have you ever seen Bad Grandpa? I have not. In Bad Grandpa, people don't know that Johnny Knoxville isn't this grandpa. Wait, wait, I thought that was with Robert De Niro. Robert De Niro and Zac Efron? Sorry. But isn't there a movie called Bad Grandpa?

I don't know. With, with, with, I'm aware of that one. Isn't there a movie called Bad Grandpa? I don't know. I'm aware of that one. By the way, shout out to Mr. De Niro for being accepting of his trans child. Oh, Dirty Grandpa, my bad. There's Shitcake Grandpa. Bob De Niro has a trans child? Yeah, and very accepting of them.

I would imagine. Is that sad we have to clap? For, is that sad we have to clap for people accepting their children? I know shit. So bad grandpa. We also got to talk about that new Wendy Williams documentary because I watched that too. There's a Wendy Williams documentary? Another one.

There's like one every two and a half weeks. I know. Also HBO did a documentary about Blake Lively. The thing is not even near resolved. It's fierce. It's so crazy. It's like this is not even this little moment has not even half over. Now you can't do a documentary about it because people can't talk. So the thing is the only people

they're going to get clips from is people who aren't involved in the case at all. Perez Hilton. But then what do you want to get subpoenaed? Like I don't know. It's so weird that like when the talking head is mostly Perez Hilton, that's when you know. All I want is a gritty Taylor. I want it to be Taylor Swift, but backlit. And they change their voice. But it's totally. Her bob was a good one. We know it's her.

And she jumps at the end. And we know it's her. We know it's her. She's talking about all her ex-boyfriends. And she's available because Donald Trump said that she's not hot anymore and she fell off. Did you see that? What? Girl.

He sucks so bad. Also to allege that Taylor Swift is not popular and not pretty. And also granting asylum for white South Africaners and then falsely giving a whole little presentation about the... Mary, he suggested that the white white South African are getting genocided. It's fierce. It's fierce in front of the South African president.

It's fierce. All these people from Mexico get out. But all of you white South Africaners welcome. Also, not to like display my ignorance, but I couldn't help but notice that every time I see an ICE agent,

their face is covered up. It's country. Why is that? Well, it's why would you cover up your proud of what they're doing? It's cunty. Why is that? Well, it's almost like they're not proud of what they're doing. It's right up there with doing deals in the middle of the night. Or the Ku Klux Klan.

Baby. It's the same fucking thing. You're a domestic terrorist if you have your face covered. Well, vigilanteism at its worst. It's, oh, I know we're supposed to keep it light. In the HBO series, HBO Max, in the HBO series Watchmen, they say masks make men cruel.

They do. I feel that way. They make me horny. They make me horny. What about the Masked Singer, where they get gay guys to have to do like Pitbull songs? I don't understand. London to a B's, is that Pitbull?

Caitlyn Jenner was on the Masked Singer. Now what is the? Tick tock on the clock. That's, yes. Wake up in the morning feeling like, whoops. Yeah. Oh, what about that whole mess? Where's the HBO documentary about that ongoing investigation?

Also, why didn't she go to Kris Jenner's face person? Mama, that woman is 70 years old and she looks like she's going back to high school. Kris Jenner's gate kept the good plastic surgeon. She has him saw chained to a radiator in a basement somewhere. That whore. That fucking old bitch really got a weird haircut

and waltzed into the room with a 17-year-old face. It's giving Freaky Friday. Like, have we seen Kim? Is she old now? Did they switch bodies? Yeah, she should rip the face off and sew it on. and waltzed into the room with a 17-year-old face. It's giving Freaky Friday. It's... Like, have we seen Kim? Is she old now? Did they switch bodies? Yeah, she ripped the face off and sew it on. It's crazy. It's fierce.

It's the best. Tick tock on the clock. Hey, kiddo. I love your... Like, I was like, okay. You get a weird little haircut to pull focus from the fact that you just de-aged 35 years I got a Dyson air wrap

No, it's just vitamins. A lot of vitamins water. It's just vitamins. It's really all it is vibramins vibramins my god wait, so Beyonce wait what oh we okay. I thought you were gonna tell me more about your gig this weekend. Oh sure what happened? Well, uh me and peaches hosted a show and that was it although we have to perform I did perform at the end little Italian number. No way and the My my uncle Tom and my aunt Karen came I think it's a very not for uncle Tom. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Because I have a cousin who goes to Stanford. In 2025, in this America, you have an Aunt Karen and an Uncle Tom. Oh my God, it's so funny. I didn't even realize that because they are literally the opposite. So they are like not racist complainer men. That is so cunty. My Uncle Tom and my Aunt Karen. They were just coming from their rally.

Let me like, actually, it's so funny. Jesus Christ. So Uncle Tom is a fucking, owns a Pilates studio, did a butt modeling calendar in his youth, and Aunt Karen is the cunty-est, most laid back, kind of like, just vibe, bitch. Just that people don't pick their names. And by the way, 10 years ago,

I think the name Karen was still okay. Yeah, also I think Amy Poehler and Tina, they talk about how like it was this close to being Amy, Karen. Do you know what I mean? Like we have to use a scapegoat for this type of personality and it's almost Amy. Amy's not bad. I mean? Like we have to use a scapegoat for this type of personality. And it's almost Amy. Amy's not bad.

I mean, any name, Emma, Judy. Bethann. Yeah, McNavy. Braylon. Yeah. Beyonce. Okay. So I told you what I thought of it.

I think two episodes ago, what did you get out of it? Okay, so I was offered, so my friend Eddie, he was like, hey, do you wanna go to the Beyonce concert? I said, no, thank you. Because I honestly don't really listen to her music, but thank you so much for thinking of me. And then, Spotify came through with a ticket for a little buffet seat.

When there's food involved, I'm perked up and interested. So you won't go for Beyonce, but you go for Spotify's Swedish meatballs? No, how dare you. Charcuterie, fresh, replenished. Have you ever seen a charcuterie board replenished? No, actually. Well, the Delta Sky Club.

Replenished by the Senate under the cover of night. You're right. And who went with you? You went with Vena? Went with Vena. Saw Mark there. So that was like instantly a good time. Mark who? Aminato, our producer. Oh! Yeah,ated. Went with Vina. Saw Mark there, so that was instantly a good time. Mark who?

Aminato, our producer. Oh! Yeah, yeah, he was there randomly. Mark? Yeah, we had the time of our lives. Is that random? He's dating Beyoncé. He's the father of her children.

Mark is with Beyoncé. His daughter, Blue Ivy, is doing her show. Listen, I don't have Beyoncé songs in my playlist. I don't have them downloaded. I never listen to her. I rarely think of her. This song, I mean the song, this concert was the best thing I've ever seen in my life.

The best thing I've ever seen in my life? It's like she is doing something that, what, yeah, I know you told me. But I didn't believe it, I had to see it. Also, I had to see it with a full stomach. It was amazing. Did you feel proud to be American? I understand 100% what you could.

She texted you the next day, I know what you meant when you said proud to be an American. It was like, and it's so funny. Hopeful. Hopeful. It was, it wasn't like an elegy to America. It was like a, it was like a anthem. And it was like, I don't go up for any kind of country music,

certainly not hers. I cried seven or eight times. I mean, I would say country music is hard to define because country music at its core is folk music and folk music just means music passed down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, I wanna talk about like stars pivoting or changing lanes in their careers

and being met with nothing but like hate and division for it. Oh, what about the clips in the show from the news being like, apparently Beyonce thinks she's doing country. Yeah, this black bitch wants to play white music. It's like, what are you talking about? She's born and raised in Houston, Texas. Also, you gotta do street music? I guess a lot of country music lives in the South. There are a lot of people of color in the South, Mary. Yeah. News flashed. Texas is very black.

No kidding! Anyway, so she was... The show was so... It was so good. The interstitial videos were so cunt and juicy that you didn't even miss her when she was changing. They were so cunt. Yeah. You were't even miss her when she was changing. They were so cunt. You're like, oh, you bitch.

Screaming, screaming, screaming. She looks perfect. She performs. The breasts, the face, the hair. The hair, the face. The hair, the face. Every once in a while, she would do this. To like mime getting sweat off her face

because I don't think she was even sweating. The best singing I've ever heard live. Yeah, it was like an expert performance by an expert performer. I can't believe how much she said without killing the vibe. Oh my God. It was also three hours.

She communicated without making it too heavy. Guess what else she did. What? She started at? 8.01 p.m. I was like, oh boner it was for me boner maybe 15 minutes long. Oh Yeah, I'm just not used to that long of a piece So once I've once I've let the um, like the the wash over me and I'm less like hyperbolic about it I can like criticize the show absolutely 15 minutes. It's a little long.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 15 minutes too long in the second outfit. With the, with the, the, the Bootaloons. Right. Yeah. And when it starts to really kick off to, once you start to maybe go like, once you've looked at your watch at all, if you have, the Renaissance portion starts,

and then you got to tuck. Yeah. And so you get your carpenter's tape out. You put on your, your good hair hair and I put on my cat suit. Check my tech, you know. No makeup, there's no time. But everything else. It's so, I mean, I saw the Renaissance movie twice

for some reason. And like that pink dress with the crisscrossed titties. Yeah. Anyways. That whole section was great. The robot things were cool. The flying on a horseshoe, the flying on a car. I hated the last outfit, but in the moment. You know, like the sparkly dress with the American flag.

No, no, it was a black, matte black bodysuit with the flag. With the American on the bottom. In the moment, I thought it was lovely. Now that I'm reflecting, I could have used something else, but who cares? What did you think of the dress that was half blue, half red and sparkling? She didn't wear that. The night I went, it was a dress that glowed with lights. Oh, the thingy.

Yeah, I thought that was so cool. At first I was like, oh, that's corny. And then I started to cry. No, no, I cried a lot. Also, using samples of music that's like American radio music to talk about America in it in a fresh way Yeah, was like she's on some type of shit. We wouldn't understand. Yeah I mean, she's operating at a level in a frequency that is not very well known to other people, right?

She's that bitch. It was awesome. I just was like wow. I just saw maybe one of the best things I've ever seen my life. Yeah in, and to not be a huge, rabid fan That's what I'm saying. Is like really fucking impressive. Well, that's how I felt about Madonna too. I was like, okay, I know probably a dozen Madonna songs by heart, but that's just cause I'm a drag queen. I'm not like Fina where I own all these albums.

And after Madonna, I was like, damn, lifelong fan now. After Beyonce, I was like, I now would walk into traffic for that person. I know, I was like, now I just really wish I had seen the Mrs. Carter show, because I want to see her do blow. People say that that was a wonderful concert, too. It's interesting to go and talk to people who've seen her three, four, five times.

Yeah. The big gag of the night was, we rolled up into the parking lot, and they were like, um, $100. For parking? $100 for parking. A hundred dollars. Did they sell you one of those bags? No. Oh, they did.

I got it. They said to me, you have to have a clear bag. So I paid $10 for a clear bag. No one asked about a clear bag. Sweet. That's amazing. So now it's my Beyonce concert merch. I have a clear vinyl bag.

I got an embroidered denim jacket and a little rucksack, courtesy of Spotify. They're very nice. Yeah. And I thought that was so cunt. They were like, I was like, how much is parking? Like $100. You better wait. I was like, okay, I guess it was a $50 show because you know.

I know, in Englewood, I'm like, rent here's $100. But I married, like after the insult in the crime of like a $3,000 ticket, you're gonna slap me with a hundred dollar parking? That's so crazy. Well Englewood is in LA, which means everything is still crazy expensive and they got you. They know you want to see Beyonce. However, I will give them this, mama, we were in and out of that parking lot in record time.

Those whores know how to like get that hamster wheel rolling. Because we were, I was so impressed how early I got home. I was like, this is gonna be a nightmare. 15,000 people or whatever. I left that concert in the car in shock. I was just like, it took me days to honestly even process what I saw. I agree, I agree.

And also it took me days not to get like, I'm like, oh, I'm being so annoying about this. Because it's really like, it was crazy. I was calling people and being like, have you heard the good news? It was the very mission, I was like, she converted me. I called my brother, who, you know, let's just say is not on the same political side

of life as me. And I said, I think that she created something that you and I would both enjoy for different reasons. Reaching across the aisle. Not in a bad way. No. I think this is like a concert that could heal America. She puts one heel on the dresser in the red state

and the other heel on the dresser in the blue state and she shits everybody, it's fierce. Yeah, shout out to Beyonce. She is gonna be on the pod next week, so. Yes, we have Beyonce, Kelly and Michelle and then we have Tina Knowles. Of course. Promoting her new book. And then Kris Jenner, of course. My Tina Knowles new book that says I gave birth to

Beyonce. Hey, what's up with that? Okay, bye. Thanks for watching!