The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Boopity Boop in Your Doopity Doop with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

As we reach the zenith of Spooky Season tonight, we must keep you apprised of a new horror recently birthed unto the world. It is an abomination so anathema to all that is good and pure in the world, that we suggest you lock your doors, turn out the lights, and hide under the covers this Hallow's Eve. Beware, for there is nothing more frightening, more hair-raising, or more utterly nightmarish than that of a TikTok Carrot Hot Dog. Oh, the humanity... Start building your credit up. Open a Chime Checking account with at least a $200 qualifying direct deposit. Get started at Chime.com/BALD or click on: https://www.chime.com/apply-debit/?ad=podcast_bald This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp Therapy Online. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/BALD today to get 10% off your first month! Buffy Has Earth’s Softest Bedding! Get 25% off your first order at https://www.buffy.co with code BEAUTIFUL. Thank you to Buffy for supporting the podcast! Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's 2FA security on Kraken? Let's say I'm captaining my soccer team, and we're up by a goal against, I don't know, the Burlington Bulldogs. Do we relax? No way. Time to create an extra line of defense and protect that lead. That's like 2FA on Kraken. A surefire way to keep what you already have safe and sound. Go to Kraken.com and see what crypto can be.

Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See Kraken.com slash legal slash CA dash PRU dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber One for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings make very. Eligibility and member terms apply. Looking for a collaborator for your career? A strong ally to support your next level success? You will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies,

where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue.yorku.ca. What about... Beat it up. You think I'm saving my big reaction to that? Do you think I would have reacted strongly to that already? My back shots sound like bongos. Do you know that I was in my house last night alone saying bongos.

Bong, bong, bong, bong. And I was texting people, not you, texting people bongos, bong, bong, bong, bong as reactions because there's nothing else in my head that was like swirling around. It was bong, bong, bong. Talk about an earworm. You're not listening to me. No, I am. I'm looking at my calendar because I'm remembering what things I save to talk about you.

I'm trying to be responsible so that we come in here and actually have something to say. I got plenty of things to say. Bonk, bonk, bonk. Beat it up. Eat this ass like a plum and wipe your mouth

when you're done. Okay? It's so vulgar. McDonald's. What is that from? That's from Missy Elliott. It is, right? McDonald's. It's not McDonald's. It's not McDonald it? It is, right? McDonald's It's not McDonald's

It's not McDonald's It's something else though It's What is that? What is that? Isn't it McDonald's? McDonald's I don't know

Do you like McDonald's? Yeah I do What's the order? The order is chicken nuggets Large fry Apple pie Oh, you love those apple pies

Love those The crispy ones The fried ones Not the fried ones, not those baked ones, not that baked shit. Okay. And then I'm going to try to conserve my energy today because what I did not do yesterday. This is you conserving your energy?

Okay. Bonk, bonk. Yesterday, I did not do that. And then after lunch, I hit a wall so hard. I was, when I got home, I was so cranky that if I heard a human voice, I would, I would have snapped out like a piranha. Like, you know what it is? You might be having too much espresso. Too much caffeine can make people very irritable. Okay. Um, I, have you ever been over caffeinated where you're like,

are you kidding me? You're like, should we rip up the carpet in this room? What did you say to me? Like everything is, it was the irritable. I had a headache. I had a headache. No water. That was no water all fucking day. That was you.

And I remember when we went to Australia and we got on the plane vibrating, it was, it was seven or eight Red Bulls. No water. It was like season three of, um, maybe. And you and I were sitting in like seat three, a and three B thank god we're first class thank you in the dark like whoever yeah and the flight attendant's like i'm a really big fan and we're like what the fuck does that have to do with us you know what i mean we were just like headache like it was you could feel your brain pushing your skull like pushing against your skull trying to escape it i sometimes sometimes feel it as like my heart beating in my eyeballs.

Yeah. A pulsing in the brain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you have the behind the eye. Yeah, there's all kind of icky stuff going on. And I'm assuming it's because you're, I think. Dehydrated. Well, you're dehydrated.

I think caffeine opens your blood vessels a little bit. So you're kind of. It's a constrictor. Constrictor. Oh, maybe that's why it just feels like it's hotter. Tighter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hotter, tighter, wetter.

This pussy tight like a nun. Okay. Also, the that's why it just feels like it's hotter. Tighter. Yeah, hotter, tighter, wetter. This pussy tight like a nun, okay? Also, her pussy's not tight like a nun. There's no way. Nuns don't have any sex. Ease his ass like a plum, then wipe your mouth when you're done, okay? It's so vulgar. It's on YouTube. It's on YouTube, age-restricted, of course.

But it's right off the bat, the imagery is so in-your-face, so vulgar not musical the song at all it's not like it's very catchy but it's not musical i think it's just like because it's like a bong bong bong it's like a it's like a um those uh ping pong it's like hearing a ping pong game bong bong bong but it. But there's no melody to it really. I just find it fascinating. Sometimes in songs, the percussion is the main thing you wait for.

Like what I'm thinking of, I'm thinking of like friends. Sometimes there's some little dumb thing that is the hook and you're like, weird. Or rolling in the deep You like crave that straight beat I don't know what that is I guess that's called songwriting I don't know I guess that's strategic

I guess you're supposed to write songs That people want to listen to Do you know what somebody said to me once? And then you go Beat it up A producer A producer that you and I Have both worked with

I think I've told him this story He said to me once When I first started working with him, he said, so I listened to some of your stuff. You know, you're obviously probably coming to me because you want to change up your sound. Right off the bat, have you thought about hooks? And I just looked at him and he said, oh, hooks are like when you put something in the song

to make people want to listen to it. And I go, yeah. And I went, I thought I did. Bonk, bonk, bonk. Beat it up. People want to listen to it. And I go, and I went, I thought I did. Bonk, bonk, bonk. Sometimes when you, I myself am an open book waiting to be read.

And then when someone chooses to read, I'm shocked. You're shocked. And then I'm shocked. I'm like, what? I don't know. By the way,

I love these top bottom matching sets, but it is hospital. No, it's always hospital. No, it's not. Are you sure? It's tennis lessons.

You fucking freak. Who's going to a hospital in a, in a cream linen, a one piece. This is, this is what I think straight, straight, straight influencers dress like. Okay. But that's not a hospital. I need one of those puffs, those hair puff perms. This pussy tight like a nun. Okay.

I think you look great. I love this outfit. Oh, thank God. You know, I love monochromatic. That's how I know that there's probably something wrong with me. Not wrong. Just particular. Monochromatic makes me feel like.

That pussy tight like a nun. Like if these weren't cream and they were white, I would be in here climbing the walls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Cream. It has to be cream on cream. It has to be white and cream. White is the real cream.

I also have a very big problem with pastel pinks and hot pinks. They're not just because they're all pink doesn't mean they all go. That's true. Okay. That's true. You'll wipe your mouth when you're done. Okay.

Exactly. You know what I did? I got to tell you this. I saved a story for you finally. So Monday, I got invited by the filmmaker, Sofia Coppola, to come to see Priscilla,

the movie, Queen of the Desert. No, Priscilla the movie, right? And I go to see the movie at the academy museum have you been okay there's an academy museum where they have like you know the bunny from donnie darko the wigs from edward scissorhands from julia roberts just they go to her closet they just grab something off the rack okay I'm like, I'll come. Okay. And so I go to the thing and I sit there and I, I, I'd never seen a Sofia Coppola film. I'm sorry. I don't know about cinema.

The Virgin Suicides. My favorite movie is Uncle Buck. Yes. You know what I mean? She's not exactly a cinephile. No. Not exactly a cinephile. But, uh, by the way.

Maria Antoinette. Yes. So I watched the film. Blast in translation. Yeah. I hadn't seen any of them. So this is my first Sofia Coppola film. And I said, David, what is it about these films that make it what it is?

And David said, oh, it's kind of like very cinema, very narrative. And he said, it's often very feminine, these movies. And I said, great, I will probably love that. Because I'm feminine. So I thought, I'm going to love it. So you're going to kind of get who likes Empire Records. I didn't like that movie. Okay.

Okay. I feel bad because David showed me that movie just two months ago. And I said, do you know how little of this movie was story dialogue? It's just like a music video. Okay. Nothing happens. Jesus Christ. Nothing happens.

A bald girl working at a record store. Give me a break. Go to Hollywood Boulevard. Anyway. Okay. So I go there and I go, well, who knows? I should go and drag right and then i thought i should go in priscilla drag they're inviting me i should go in like a dark

hair 60s kind of look you went to that thing with like that so at the last second i go you know it's kind of inappropriate because i was like david you should be wearing like a blue hawaii kind of shirt and i'll go as priscilla it'd be kind of cute because i think if they ask trixie to come they want trixie to show up so then i feel guilty because i get a free movie ticket but they're probably expecting me to show up in drag so i feel guilty cause I get a free movie ticket, but they're probably expecting me to show up in drag. So I don't know. Cause you never know the vibe.

Cause when you got Nina West showing up as Ursula, I'm like, well, am I supposed to do that? You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. Okay. It's a Disney stuff. Okay. You know?

Okay. So I go and at the last minute I decide not to, and I was planning a dark wig. I was planning a Priscilla look and I was like the last minute I go, you know what? I don't know the movie. I don't know the vibe. I'm not going to do it. And sitting through a movie in drag sucks. When I went to Barbie, I sat there in drag.

Like the movie was great, but I sat there counting the seconds, like my corset, my shoes, my lashes. Huge hair obstructing the view of the people behind you. Thank you very much. Thank you. So I go, I sit and it's all the stars are out. Like who? The Kate Berlantz.

Okay. That's about it. No, Rashida Jones. Okay. Love seeing Rashida Jones. Okay. Who else? Obviously Sophiaantz. Okay. That's about it. No, Rashida Jones. Okay. Love seeing Rashida Jones. Okay, who else? Obviously, Sophia's there. Okay, who else?

Okay, so I have this problem where- All the stars were there. When I see a celebrity- You named three C-list stars. But I know their faces, but don't know their names. Okay. And I have this problem where I don't know their names, but if I know a celebrity and I see them, I have to say their name out loud.

So I would go, Katya. You know what I mean? I have to just say it. Yes, exactly. And you point right in the middle of their face. But I don't always have the name right. So, Catherine Han walks in front of us. And I go, Madeline Khan. Just, why not?

Why not? And David goes, that's Catherine Han. And I go, she didn't hear me. She's dead. David goes, first of all, can you not say their names? Second of all, say the right name. I'm like, you're right. It's rude to say the name and it's rude to say the wrong name. It's rude to say right.

It's like, like you're. Well, it's like when I say I love Michelle Branch and someone says, oh, I love a thousand miles. And I'm like, that's Vanessa Carlton. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's worse to get the name wrong.

Well, I mean, fucking MSNBC or some shit just posted, just tweeted this thing of Simone Biles. know what i mean yeah yeah yeah it's worse to get the name wrong well i mean fucking uh msnbc or some shit just posted a um uh just tweeted uh this thing of simone biles it's like mama that's chalice it's not even fucking simone biles that's the other black gymnast well i saw that thing crazy i saw the russian gymnast being like that's not art that's just oh yeah and you were like pack it up sorry you're bitter yeah sorry you're fat. Yeah, sorry you're fat and ugly, bitch. Sorry you're bitter. Sorry you can't touch her. Sorry that your team got suspended from competing because of doping. Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. Bonk, bonk, bonk.

Beat it up. Pack it up. Also, athleticism comes in many forms. Some people are going to be more dancey and some people are going to be more stunty. Whatever. The argument she's making is an argument that has been made ad nauseum, but she's actually wrong in this case because Simone actually has insanely good execution for someone who's all tricks.

Like there have been the Carrie Struggs who are just power tumblers and not particularly elegant, you know what I mean? But they're clean enough to be like, to get good scores. Simone is actually fucking elegant. And she has, she, her execution is cunty. Well, if there's art and athleticism,

everybody's going to be on that spectrum. And she's squarely in the middle and she's, she's shitting on them Russian toes. I love what you tweeted. Because they're doping. I love what you tweeted. Cause it's like, girl,

girl, shut the fuck up. Bitter boots. Bitter boots. Go suck on the, go. Bitter boots. Bitter boots.

I hate it. Bitter boots. You know what it gives? That girl at every bar, that older queen who quote unquote, doesn't watch the show. Yes. Okay. Miss bitter boots. Go suck on the, go. Bitter boots. Bitter boots. I hate it. Bitter boots. You know what it gives? That girl at every bar, that older queen who quote unquote doesn't watch the show. Yes. Okay, Miss Bitter Boots. Bitter, bitter boots. Bitter and nasty.

Bitter and nasty. So I go there, I'm sitting and there are seats next, there are seats around us that are empty and Dave and I are sitting there and I got there nice and early and of course the actor and actress come out who played Elvis and Priscilla. They were so nice and cool. Sophia comes out. Jacob Belordi? Jacob Belordi? Yes, he was there. He was a played Elvis and Priscilla. They were so nice and cool. So, it comes out. Jacob Bellorti? Jacob Bellorti?

Yes, he was there. He was a great Elvis. Okay. He was a great Elvis. He was so handsome in the movie. He's so tall. I mean, he's a stunner. And his Elvis was so good without being like a Halloween impersonation.

Without the, you know. Yeah. And his Miss Austin Butler. And it was really, really good. I didn't see Elvis. I didn't see Austin Butler. I didn't either. So, I'm just talking shit. Okay. Jacob Bellorti was great. And the woman who plays Priscilla, I forget. I didn't see Al Butler. I didn't see Austin Butler. I didn't either. So I'm just talking shit.

Jacob Elordi was great. And the woman who plays Priscilla, I forget her name. Kaya Gerber. Yes. Who is it? Kaya Gerber. Went so hard. She's amazing in this movie.

Yeah, she's so good. Oh my gosh. She just made me cry. Well, she's Cindy Crawford's daughter. She better be good. And it's an intimate telling of a very, I'm sure, intense time in her life. Right. Priscilla comes out and gives a little nod, right?

The real person. The real person. You know, as a 60s enthusiast, I'm like, oh my God, it's fucking Priscilla. The hair that, you know. Yeah. She doesn't look like that. Now she looks like a person. Before she looked like a baby doll almost.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She comes out and sits right in front of her. Right here. So I'm watching the movie over Priscilla's fucking shoulder. Okay. And David turns, she sits down, David turns to me and goes, you're kidding. And I'm like, this is crazy. We're sitting with Priscilla's and her back is on my knee basically. And I'm like, we're watching the movie of her life in front of her, like right with her. And I was like, oh my God, this is so crazy. Right. And the movie not to give anything away is a lot of highs in her life in that time and a lot of lows yeah and very

intimate and it was so you know i'm watching her and then at certain scenes i'm watching her react to watching a dramatization of a particularly sad moment or like and i just was like my god i've done a documentary or whatever but imagine watching a dramatization of something that happened to you decades ago with it with a ghoul behind you. With me, yeah. And by the way, there are scenes where it's, let's say, I don't want to say abuse. There's not great moments in their relationship. And then what?

You're having a tender moment and you turn to your right and there's a man dressed as you. In that moment, I went, thank fucking god i'm not dressed as i i'm so glad you did not i that there's no universe in which that would seem she would walk in and look to me and said oh really is that what you think yeah is like yeah uh-huh well fun fact she is responsible for probably my favorite moment in cinematic history. My favorite moment out of any movie ever. Nice beaver. Thanks.

I just had it stuffed. That is so fucking funny from the Naked Gun. She, in all three of those goddamn movies, she fucking shitted on him. Yeah. She's so funny. Yeah, she's so funny. And I know it's not relevant. So beautiful.

So beautiful. I remember watching Naked Gun as a kid and being like, that's the most beautiful woman. Yeah, I'm making a roast. How hot and wet do you like it? Yeah, she's amazing. She's so good. And the casting was so bizarre. Yeah.

Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Presley. Yeah, she was amazing though. And the movie about her life is obviously, you have to. Did you love it? You loved it? Yes, I'm watching it being like This bitch lived in Graceland This bitch was married to Elvis

She met him when she was 14, 15 Like what is that life? It was a really cool movie The makeup and costume alone You're like holy crap When she's at peak 60s Priscilla And she's in black giant bouffants A beehive

Literally a beehive With giant lashes You're like wow Yeah a beehive She was like a little baby doll Crazy And she's in black, giant bouffants. A beehive. Literally a beehive. With giant lashes. You're like, wow. Yeah, a beehive. She was like a little baby doll. Crazy. And she's so young. She's like 19.

Like you're like, oh my God. What does possible sound like for your business? It's having the spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit amex.ca slash business platinum. Turn off hesitation.

Turn off doubt. Turn off fears. The YMCA of Greater Toronto helps you turn off whatever's holding you back. So you can let your potential shine. Turn on confidence. Turn on connections. Turn on possibilities. There are hundreds of programs and services available at the Y.

See what you can achieve at YMCAGTA.org. This will be the day. Anyway, it was a great movie. And then I went to see Sophia afterward and said, you know, love the film. Good job, ho. Thank you for inviting me. Thank you for inviting me. And I said, she said, I thought you were going to come dressed up.

And I said, oh, well, I sometimes do. She said that? Yeah. And I said, well, sometimes at movies, I feel inappropriate sitting and dragging a movie theater, watching a movie. I said, the lashes, the corset, it's so uncomfortable. And Rashida Jones overhears and goes, yeah,

welcome to being a woman. I was like, damn. Um, that's actually not fucking true though. Sorry about it. Like that's actually not true. Oh no.

Women aren't doing what I'm doing. They're not. And they shouldn't have to. They're not. I mean, they're not. Priscilla might've been doing what I was doing for a while. But also they're not obstructing views.

Right. Right. And causing a scene. Inappropriate. Yeah. Yeah. Ina while, but also they're not obstructing views. Right. Right. Causing a scene. Inappropriate. Yeah. Yeah. Inappropriate. They're not like pulling focus.

We're watching a domestic abuse scene and I'm festively dressed as the person on the kid. You're dressed like Halloween. Like you're going trick or treating. Inappropriate. Inappropriate. It's not. Okay.

But I said, thank you for inviting me. And I wanted to introduce her to David because David loves her films. And then I, you said, you know, I'm not for the office. Oh, okay. Oh, her films. And then I, you said, you know, I'm not for the office. Oh,

okay. Oh, Rashida. And I said, I'm sorry to tell you, I love you. I'm a huge fan. She said,

you're a fan of me. I said, and Perkins from parks and rec and Karen, Philip Helly. Oh, she was in the office. Yes. For like three seasons.

Okay. She was the girl that Jim kind of goes for when he's not with Pam. So as an audience member, you're like, ooh, I like her, but she's not Pam. What do I do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just was like, I said to her, I said, The Office is my comfort program, and I watch it whenever I'm not feeling good. And I watch it about three times a year.

What does that tell you about where I've been? And she laughed. And I said, do you ever do outgoing voicemail message? And Dave was like, you got to go. You got to step away. Step away. Step away from Miss Jones. Yeah.

Well, I know someone who's good friends with Steve Carell. And I said, don't ever bring him over here. Because I will embarrass you, me, and Dupree. Everyone here will be embarrassed by my behavior. We're not doing that. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, it was a fun little night. Ate my weight.

And they kept coming around with those little trays. And I kept finding different people. Yeah, a little thin tuna. I had three little banana puddings. I just kept taking them. I'm like, well, no one here is eating them. I'm taking them. That's okay.

That's okay. I'm so glad you didn't go and drag this pussy tight like a nun. Inappropriate. Inappropriate. But then when they invite you, I'm like, well, do they expect me to come and drag? Do you know what I mean? And then she goes, oh, I thought you'd come and drag so maybe she was expecting you know i don't know well she can expect all she wants is she gonna fucking but you did the right who's gonna who's gonna tuck my pussy okay yeah wait i have to share

with you a musical moment tell me yeah can i share it to you on the microphone i've been listening to a song it is so good on repeat for the last, Oh, I don't know. Uh, like probably 25 times, 25 to 35 times a day. Not joking.

Yeah. I got it. I got a sense of that. It's so, it's not like it imprinted on you. It's not bonk, bonk, bonk.

It's um, it's an Italian song and it's so lovely. That's nice. Ooh, I like that. This is singing. It's so good. When we get to the chorus, I swear it's worth it. Who is it?

It's Misketa. Mosquito. Hit it. It's so lovely. It's such a hit Such a banger That is a beautiful song Isn't it beautiful?

Love It's beautiful Give them a shout out How did the kids find that? It's Miss Keta Miss Keta She's an Italian singer She did a remix

On my remix album She's a wonderful She wears a mask I feel like she is The Italian female Counterpart to Orville Peck Because she always wears a mask. She's a rapper.

Her music is so cunty. I love it so, so, so, so much. And this one is very poppy. She does a lot of more experimental-ish rap. I mean, she's kind of all over the place. But she's so fucking good, and I love her so much. You know, for the pop girls, if the drag queens love you, I think you're doing something right. Oh, she's doing so many things right.

Oh, she had a song in the White Lotus soundtrack season two, which is so good. And she's the only female rapper who has male rap features that I don't hate. That's a hard one. Because you know what I mean? If you're in it for the girls, you don't want to fuck with the guys. I hate a male rap bridge I hate it I hate it too I hate it so much Boom Boom by Labada has that

that horror I mean he's fine whatever Christina Aguilera Dirty with Redman no get out of there I'm like Ludacris get out of there bring me back the dirty yeah Ludacris get out of there Lil Wayne get out of there we don't want all that there's this song okay yeah

it's tough I just I never as a homosexual who's there for the girls I'm always like We don't want all that. There's this song. Okay. Yeah. It's tough. I just, I never, as a, as a homosexual, who's there for the girls, I'm always like, don't want the guy. Like, you're like, I literally will take when, when Pharaoh comes on, I will literally skip it ahead on boom, boom. Because I'm like, I don't want to listen to him to talking about his little skinny ass broke some bed. That's different than call and response.

E52s or Aqua where it's girl boy call and response That's fine Cause it's the fun of that But when it's all girl song And then a guy's like You're like Fuck off Go somewhere else

Can't you let the girls have one thing Yeah but I also love I think it's like a She does it in the song Where she does She calls in responses to herself So she goes Sheek

Sheek Okay Okay Okay So she goes, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, Okay, that's what it is But what's McDonald's? It's not McDonald's What is it? It's get your freak on It's get your freak on But I don't think she does McDonald's She does not What did she say though? You know where I eat a lot of McDonald's?

You know where I eat a lot of McDonald's? The UK Because the McDonald's in the UK is better It's cunty It's also c the UK is better It's cunty It's also cunty in France It's cunty in China It's so good The Sydney airport where they have the double decker McDonald's

Where you can order from the top And it comes down one of those bank tubes Oh that's fierce I've gotten used to the Well how about this though McDonald's sometimes So crowded you cannot get you have to wait in line. Have you ever waited in line over 30 minutes for McDonald's in another country?

No. You haven't? No. I just did it when we were doing that comedy festival, I think in Montreal. Other countries have more vegetarian shit. And so, and I think the other countries, I wait less. Oh, really? Like KFC in Europe has vegetarian chicken. It's so sickening. Yeah, really? Like KFC in, in Europe has vegetarian chicken.

It's so sickening. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In America, there is nothing for me to fucking eat at McDonald's. Yeah. Nothing for me to eat at KFC.

That's why Taco Bell is the tea. Yeah. Taco Bell is the tea. Yeah. I'm late in life to Taco Bell, but I love it. Okay. It's been so fun to see you arrive.

I don't really care what else happens to you, but to see you come into your own as a Taco Bell woman. Wait a minute. What? What is this? What is What? What is this? What is what? What is this? James. James. What was that? What was that? James.

No, I thought you were saying Jane. I watched the whole comeback over again. I know we talked about it ad nauseum before. No, no, no. It's worth it. It's like... It's so ahead of its time. I know. And I can't get over the fact that like, I mean, it was 2005, I think it was 2005, the first season. And then 2014, the second season, I think it's like mostly unscripted.

And I mean, it is so like when she goes on Leno at the end of the first season and she's like, she thinks she's been humiliated, the, the, the, and it's premiered and she's so humiliated. thing she's been humiliated the the yes and it's premiered and she's so humiliated she's so like she's like flipping out and then she gets renewed and and um uh and smoking in the dressing room of Jay Leno and like I was like this is so it is so ahead of its time it is and the performance she gives because I because Vanderpump was on it season two and I asked her so what is it like working with her in that environment where she's playing Valerie Cherish yeah and she said Vanderpump was on it, season two. And I asked her, so what is it like working with her in that environment where she's playing Valerie Cherish? Yeah.

And she said, Vanderpump told me, you're kind of instructed what points are being hit on. Okay. Your part is kind of semi. She said her part was kind of semi-scripted. But she was told, like, Lisa's just going to go. So just roll with it. Oh, wow. She just lets loose just raw talent and character.

Oh, my God. She plays Valerie like it's not just funny. It's so real. It's so real. It's scary. You really think? It's so scary. And she's so ridiculous, but my God, do you root for her?

Yeah. And it's scary. There are moments where it's so scary. Like there's a scene in the second season where she's talking to Mal and Ackerman at her party. And Juna is like, you hurt me. And she can't break through because it's like because the camera's there the camera's there and and Valerie won't let herself be real and it's like it's like this it's like it's so it's so it's so I don't know how to just it's

like so crazy when she I know we've talked about it when she's on the verge of divorce yeah and Jane is like people are gonna want to hear your story. And she's like, I can't put on a body microphone to go try to save my marriage. And then she does. And her husband's like, are you wearing a wire? I watched that sobbing. Yeah. It was so moving.

That show makes you feel comfortable by being so slapsticky and stupid. Also, the music choices at the end of every episode are so funny. Yeah. Cherish. It's like a somber, weird moment then like i'm coming out you're like okay it's hbo money so like you know but that's how like tracy takes on was sometimes the music they would pick you'd be like work yeah yeah yeah um well i watched a tracy allman and she was in some of those movies bullets over bryan yeah yeah and she was in some of those movies. Bullets Over Broadway. Yeah, yeah. Tracy Ullman is so talented.

Tracy Ullman goes off. Bonafide drag queen. Yeah. Bonafide drag queen. And it's tough with her because I've been a fan of her since like forever ago. Maybe this is like controversial, but incredible talent. Not just doesn't get writing that's at her level. A lot of times doesn't,

doesn't receive her, her talent for acting and, and disappearing into another character is so next level. A lot of times the writing is not up there. Interesting. It's like way back when Tracy takes on some of those characters are so incredible. The ranks, but later on the,

the Showtime series, the writing is just not there. She's so incredibly talented. Yeah. But later on, the Showtime series, the writing is just not there. She's so incredibly talented, but the writing does not match. Well, I remember watching that show and being like, I was a kid. I didn't understand. I barely understood she was the person playing all these characters. Do you remember?

It was a long time ago. It's gotta be the 90s. Yeah, absolutely. Tracy takes on in HBO, the lesbian golfer. Her doing They Don't Know was the theme song. And I remember being Yeah, absolutely. Tracy takes on an HBO and a lesbian golfer. Her, her doing, they don't know was the theme song. Yeah. And I remember being like,

yeah, weird. Why is she singing this song? Yeah. It's her song. Oh yeah. I didn't know that. She's singing.

Yeah. And then I used to lip sync in the nightclubs to it. Cause that's what the kids want to hear. And Tracy. Oh, I used to lip sync to, they don't know all the time. And 18 year old fans,

like 18 year old blue haired, heterosexual fans like work but when are you gonna do this to that walk and i'm like they don't know but they don't know how you want to talk about the pity dollar oh my lip syncing the pity dollar now when i get a like i'm doing halloween next week at my bar in milwaukee and i just called and said i'm not gonna do a number it's best for everyone so you should do a little tip in number. I'm coming out. I'm coming out to show. Now when I do have to do number, I wear like a sequin, like a sequin showstopper with a

boa. And I do like get this party started and I just walk around. Drag queen number six doing track number three. I'm coming out. Yeah. That like, just, just put on the good old. Yeah. The boopity boopity.

And I'm going to go doopity doopity. Yes. And don't overthink it. Okay. And don't expect too much of me. I mean, when I went to the, I would, I was not prepared for the generosity of the crowd when I went to your bar. They go hard.

They love you. I know, but they, I was like. I'm not famous in Milwaukee. You are Beyonce. I could not believe it. I could not believe it. I was like, y'all really are doing this to me right now. I was like, but what I'm presenting to you is not, is not, it's like Tracy in the writing.

I was like, what I'm presenting to you right now is not worthy of the cash you're giving me. So like if you could calibrate, you're like, bring it down to 50. Start giving me, start giving me quarters. Seriously. Let's start with some loose change. Because I'm not willing to get up here for you. So if you give me this, now I'm going to have to give you that. After the third hundred dollar bill, not bragging, just saying like the, I was like, I'm not willing to get up here for you. So if you give me this, now I'm going to have to give you that. After the third hundred dollar bill, not bragging, just saying, like the, I was like, I'm going

to, I'm going to break another hip. I'm going to need another surgery. Cause I'm going to go like, I'm going to go hard. It was so fun. And you never know people's financial situations. Maybe some people got it like that. But I don't think so though. I assume that they don't.

But usually the people tipping really generously. I'm like, what are you, 23? I know. I'm like, are you in a manic episode right now? I'm going to hold on to this to you until you're ready to get it back. You know what I mean? And also what your bar has, which Jacques never, ever, ever did, never dreamed of doing, never could have done, is had a bona fide tip person to collect and separate and label

the tips of each performer and arrange them in a way that is so incredibly fierce. I've never seen that in my life. We try to do things that I wish in my travels. Never seen it. You know, we try to do things that if I was a drag queen working there, what's the extra thing that would just make me better at my job? Can I just have air conditioning? Can I just have someone

to get the tips? Can I just, you know what I mean? Can I have a shot, a drink person run down to the dressing room a few times so I don't have to go up and get a drink little things cunty it was cunty well you know if you owned a bar you wouldn't want the drag queens to have the same shitty life you did no no no i'd rather i'd rather like like all the drag queens would have things in place before the patrons had alcohol. You know, you guys can't come in tonight. The drag queens actually drank all the booze.

And so there's nothing left for you, Gina. Okay. Okay. I had another celebrity encounter. Okay. Tell me. And I woke up Tuesday. It was Dave and I's anniversary.

I woke up in the Amoeba X. You're not Twitter. X. Amoeba's anniversary. I woke up in the Amoeba X. You're not Twitter. X. Amoeba what? Amoeba's X. Not their Twitter. Their X account. Oh, I refuse. I refuse. Just like people like me who are just like on the cutting edge of everything. Oh, God. Is this like spools or whatever?

It's not spools. Threads? Spools. Damn. I bet you when threads get spot. Damn. I bet you when Threads gets bought. Okay. I'm over here on yarn. Are y'all on macrame? He's spinning a yarn on spools.

Girl, shit. Fuck. All these little social media things. I know. Don't make any new ones. Don't do it. Don't make any new ones. Notice Betty hasn't gotten grip of the old ones. Okay.

Well, I saw Amoeba Hollywood because I've done some signings there and performances. What is that? Oh, it's a record store. It's a record store. I've done some performances there and signings. Okay. Well, I saw Amoeba Hollywood because I've done some signings there and performances. What is that? Oh, it's a record store. I've done some performances there and signings. And they said, today only Nancy Sinatra will be in store signing some records. If you come at 11 a.m. and buy a record, you can meet Nancy. Now, I've been social media friends with Nancy for years.

She's obviously visually a big inspiration for me. Yes, totally. Because she and I are both gorgeous. Insanely gorgeous ladies. Yeah, famous rich parents and that's just us. Old blue eyes. Yes, and I Because she and I are both gorgeous. Insanely gorgeous ladies. Yeah. Famous, you know, rich parents and that's just us. Old blue eyes. Yes. And I believe she spends a lot of time in Palm Springs but I never meet her there. Oh, really? She's tried to do things at the motel before and just things haven't

lined up. And I go, is it weird if I walk to Amoeba and just buy a record? I said, I want it signed anyway and if I can meet her at five in the store. So I went and got records. Came back at five and I walked and I was like, I don't know how long in the store. So I went and got records. Yeah. Came back at five. And I walked and I was like, I don't know how long of a line there'll be. All around, blocks away.

Blocks away. Yeah. And of course, I'm not going to go to the front and be like, I'm an artist and I've done signings here, let me cut. Totally, totally. Because I'm like, whatever. So I go to the back. A fan in the front walks all the way back and goes, Trixie, when you did your signing

here, you were so nice to me. Will you want to come cut the front of the line with me? And I said, yes, I do. So I went to the front and I said, I'm so happy. He said, you were so nice when you did your signing. You shouldn't have to wait to meet Nancy. And I said, I was so happy. Did you eat that ass like a plum?

I bent him over right there. I bent him over and we did ass to ass. We didn't have a dildo, but we had a baked Cheeto. McDonald's. Does McDonald's have hot dogs? No. They should. Does any fast food place have hot dogs?

Nathan's? Does Jack in the Box have hot dogs? Oh, Shake Shack. Shake Shack famously has hot dogs. Diarrhea City. Jack in the Box has tacos, burgers, lasagna. I think they have everything. Lasagna. I don't they have everything. Lasagna.

I don't know about that. Oh, wait. So back to the line. So I wait in line. That's really sweet. And I've never been to a bona fide meet and greet like this. Yeah. It's terrifying to be on the receiving end.

Oh, yeah. All of you who've met and read us, you're very brave people. It's Nancy Sinatra. I peek around the corner. I see her. I go, oh my God, that's Nancy. Like that's Nancy Sinatra, right? Yeah.

And we're waiting. And I'm like, David, what am I going to say to her? Because I know she follows me on the internet her. I go, oh my God, that's Nancy. Like that's Nancy Sinatra, right? And we're waiting. And I'm like, David, what am I going to say to her? Because I know she follows me on the internet and she comments a lot on my pictures. But I'm like, maybe it's not her account. I don't know. Maybe someone else runs it. So I get up the front.

I decide not to tell her who I am or that we know each other online. And I just kind of say, can you sign it? She signs Nancy Sinatra, no name on both. And I just say, thank you. I love you so much. You're so great. I just hug her and leave.

I was scared to say like, I'm Trixie. You follow me on the internet. Yeah. So I just say, thank you. I love you so much. You're so great. I just hug her and leave. I was scared to say like, I'm Trixie. You follow me on the internet. Yeah. So I just kept it cool. I probably would have done the same thing to Lana Del Rey. Yeah. It's not about who I am. It's about who you are.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think I would have said anything. Or so, I think I probably just would have kept it cool. Because to say like, hey, I'm so-and-so, so you should treat me differently than anyone here. Like if I spit Lana Del Rey, I was like, hey, I remember I am, I did a parody of one of your songs actually outstreamed you on Spotify. Yeah, exactly.

You know, I'm the gay guy in America that you hate. I'm the gay guy you hate. Yeah. Well, then the Amoeba staff were like, Trixie, do you want a picture with Nancy? We're not doing pictures today, but can we get one for socials? And I go, sure. And I come around and I go, I just, I kept it brief. But I said, I love you so much.

You're such a huge inspiration to me. And I just love you. And that's it. That's all you need to do. I love that. But it was fucking Nancy Sinatra doing a record store signing and she probably in her eighties. I was like, this is amazing. It was worth it. The rush I got, it's a thousand kilos of cocaine. I was like, and then the fan who let me cut the line, he was like, can I get a record signed? I said, if they have my record here, I'll sign it for you. I'll buy it for you and sign it for you. And they didn't have it. Oh, it worked.

So I felt bad, but I got to cut. Thank God. I would have been mine for hours. Yeah. Yeah. That's so fierce. And then you would, it would have been like, oh, that's really nice. And I know David went for me.

So then he would have stood in line for, you know, Dave is not going to not complain to my face about standing in line. I would have hit him like, yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's well, shout out to that fan. That's really lovely. Thank God. I wish have hit him like, yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's well, shout out to that fan. That's really lovely. God, I wish I remembered his name,

but he let me cut. That's so nice. That's so, so nice. Meeting an artist you like is exhilarating. Yeah. I kind of get it. I don't get why people meet us because we're so,

but Nancy Sinatra, I was like, yeah, that's amazing. Especially icons like that. People who have careers have decades long. I'm like, Oh my God, that's the same Nancy from television in the 60s. Yeah.

It's Frank Sinatra's daughter. It's incredible. Well, something happened to me that was almost as exciting as that. I think around the same time, I put in a shelf in my bathroom that has a sharp corner, and I whacked myself on the, whacked my forehead on it. Is that what that is? Yeah. What happened?

I whacked myself on the, whacked my forehead on it. Is that what that is? Yeah. What happened? I whacked. Why? Well, because I was bending over to do something and I just wasn't, I don't know. I wasn't used to it being there. And I whacked it so hard it started bleeding and then formed a carbuncle that was like a half an inch raised on the thing. And I was like, I think I'm going to go have to get stitches. It wouldn't stop bleeding? No, it was just so open.

Because of the swelling. It was so open and it was like gashed and I put like alcohol on it and it would pour blood down. It looks pretty good now. And now it was fine. I would have started, I mean, being home alone, blood coming down your face. I would have been scared. It was scary and it was late. It was like after midnight.

It was horrible. Horrible. And I did it again. did it midnight in the hills slamming your head into the wall i did it again y'all remember and talk to me when she's licking up her own blood girl that's you okay talk to me so lick it up when you're done okay oh i don't think that was about blood no that was um i got so i'm skipping the exorcist you me. You have to skip The Exorcist and go right to Saw. To Saw. Because, and also, this is a funny thing. My therapist saw the Saw movie and he loved it. And that makes me know that I'm on the right track with him.

Do you think there's something wrong with me that I've always loved horror movies, but the older I get, the torture porn is, I'm tapping out. I would never watch this by myself. I went orville and we were we burned so many calories watching this movie we were screaming and and squeezing each other and like and like looking away and like laughing and it was like it's so intense and gross and nasty disgusting it's like it's like um you have to be in the mood for that isn't't he an amazing friend? I know you guys are getting closer. Isn't he amazing? I love him so much.

He's such a great person. I love him so much. Yeah. So fun to hang out with and also that type of Judy where you can just open up to him. I know. He's such an angel. I know. He's a really nice person.

He makes me want to be a better friend. I know. I mean, this doesn't count as him as a friend. Absolutely beyond amazing music he makes. Oh, I didn't even know. I don't even listen to his music. The voice is so ridiculously beyond. The songwriting is beyond.

Are you going to that rodeo thing? I'm working it, yeah. I think I'm going. I'm doing a little comedy set. Brittany Broski's hosting. Yeah, if you guys are in Pioneertown in November, I believe, me, Orville, Brittany Broski. Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion yeah it's gonna be fun it's at Pappy and Harry's

you know what that is yeah it's their pussy's tight like a nun okay very legendary like honky tonk folk bar country bar of course it's very cool I did yeah yes she did I know if you want to see the picture that's us oh she's so cute she has this little Charlie Brown sweater on and

somebody commented I love your sweater and she responded thanks i got it on amazon she's just helping people out she's just helping people out but she is such a fucking star i just was like holy crap this is her and i've learned and this is a dark thought there's certain celebrities i love you know i love a lot of older music oh yeah And if you don't prioritize getting to meet them now, you might not have 10 more years. They'll pass on. I wanted to meet Loretta so bad and I kept being like, I'll catch her next time. And then she passed a couple of years ago and I'm always like, fuck. Yeah.

And so Nancy, a few blocks from my house, I was like, we're going bitch. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Plus I was like, I'll pick up this record anyway. Yeah. And then you head over to McDonald's. I had Shake Shack the other day.

Diarrhea? No, no, no. They have a great vegetarian burger. Yeah. And then you head over to McDonald's. I had Shake Shack the other day. Diarrhea? No, no, no. They have a great vegetarian burger. And I normally don't like mushroom-based burgers, but it was really good. It wasn't... You know when the mushroom burger's like a sliced portobello? I'm like, you are Miss Nasty. Mama, mushroom is nasty. That's right up there with cauliflower steak.

Shut up. Have you seen the vegans make carrots as hot dogs? Steak what now? Steak what now? Cauliflower steaks. No, that's a vegetable. Thank you. Have you seen the vegans who boil a hot dog within an inch of its life? No, they boil a carrot within an inch of its life and eat it on a bun with ketchup like a hot dog.

Okay. That's disgusting. That's disgusting. That is disgusting. Being vegetarian doesn't mean we have to eat Parodies of meat food You don't have to do weird owl eating You don't have to be the weird owl Of culinary arts

Well I'm a vegetarian so instead of beef jerky I peel skin off the bottom of my foot and salt it Like you don't have to do all that Diva You can just eat your fucking vegetables Just eat the vegetables bitch Like people are I've always said as a vegetarian, the more you try to pretend that food is a meat food, the more disappointed you will be.

Just don't eat that. It's stupid. It's not steak. How about this? I think I'll have a prime rib, AKA cauliflower slab. It's not that. It's something else. And that's okay.

That's like a tofu steak. I'm like, that's. Yeah. No one's lived, laughed and loving for a fucking tofu steak, bitch. It's not steak and that's okay. That's like a tofu steak. I'm like, that's... Yeah. No one's live, laugh, and loving for a fucking tofu steak, bitch. Fuck. It's not a steak, you stupid bitch. You fucking bitch. Do you like guinea pigs?

No. I think we're done. I think that's enough. I'm getting fucking out of here. Let's give people one more recommendation to that fabulous song. Oh, yeah. Bom, bom, bom, bom. Let's give people one more recommendation to that fabulous song.

Oh, yeah. This is Profumo, P-R-O-F-U-M-O, by Misketa on Apple Music on Spotify. Profumo. It's so good. Please give it a listen in a stream. And check out Bongos. Why not? Yeah, Bongos.

Cardi B featuring Megan Thee Stallion. I would suggest you go on over to YouTube.com, and if you're over 18, you can watch the explicit version, 18, you can watch the explicit version because you will see in what my, you know, my estimation is the pinnacle of female womanhood. Megan Thee Stallion, her body, you can't touch it. The body makeup.

The body makeup application. The face makeup, the hair. The face card, the hair. The dancing. Not the strongest verse. I'll just say that. Not the strongest verse on a rap feature Doesn't matter She's so hot Is that a man rapping?

No Thank God Real hot girl shit Real hot girl shit Yeah she's amazing She's giving real hot girl shit I think she likes Trixie Didn't she send us a message once?

I don't know I mean I would die When we watched Wednesday on Netflix She sent us a hi Trixie Oh she did She knows we're dead or alive She did I mean she is so

She might not like us She said hi to us She might not like us She said hi to us And I take that as she loves it's not real hot dog shit especially when it's a carrot i love vegetarian people and vegan people sure but when you're boiling a carrot and putting ketchup on it and saying so delicious no i don't think so i don't think so bitch bonk carrots on a bun yeah no That doesn't sound like bongos at all Just eat a vegan hot dog

Eat a fake hot dog A hot dog tastes like bongos It's disgusting Do you know how to grill? Yep You do? Is it hard? Nope

It's like one of the easiest things you can do Sometimes the strongest thing you can do I guess for health With your grill That's why I got veneers Okay Okay McDonald's Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is ask for help with your grill. That's why I got veneers. Okay. Okay.

McDonald's. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.