The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Bringing Back Early 2000's Gay with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: May 16, 2023

For a brief, shining moment in the early aughts, every romantic comedy had a female protagonist with an exceedingly gay best friend that existed to do exactly three things: 1) Help the protagonist make wild wardrobe choices 2) Critique shoddy makeup applications while simultaneously fat-shaming the protagonist 3) Be excessively grossed out by vaginas and constantly talk about penises. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.BetterHelp.com/BALD to get 10% off your first month and get on your way to being your best self! New to Etsy? Use the code NEW for 10% off your first purchase. That’s code NEW. Maximum discount value of fifty dollars. Offer ends June 30th, 2023. See terms at https://Etsy.com/terms For home, style, and gifts shop Etsy.com! Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To order your copy of our latest book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's it like to trade crypto on Kraken? Let's say I'm in a state-of-the-art gym surrounded by powerful-looking machines. Do I head straight for the squat rack? I could, but this gym has options, like trainers, fitness pros, spotters to back me up. That's crypto on Kraken. Powerful crypto tools backed by 24-7 support and multi-layered security. Go to Kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Non-investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss.

See Kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. and see what crypto can be. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber One for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary.

Eligibility and member terms apply. Looking for a collaborator for your career? A strong ally to support your next level success? You will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue.yorku.ca. We should do like a 2000s gay podcast where we're like, pussy gross. Do you know how that was like the whole thing? Oh, we call it gold star gay.

Yeah, the whole thing was that you were gay and that you were like, I love to touch your titties. I love titties. But then they'd be like, pussy gross. Ew, fishy smell. P.U. Yeah. No, I don't like to eat fish. Okay.

Yeah. Like, I don't know what that was. I'm going to snap your whale tail. I'm going to snap your whale tail. Your whale tail. I'm going to snap it like a slingshot and say, gross, pussy. Let me feel on your titties. Oh, my God.

Your pussy. Well, listen, you have a pussy and you don't have a cock, so I'm gay and I'm not gonna fuck your pussy because that's gross. Unless, Diva, you need help with your hair and makeup. We're going out tonight, girl.

What is that, a size four? You wish, bitch. You look like a whale. Like, I don't know why that, like, era of gay was like very mean is it was despicable it's despicable oh yeah it's just really crazy oh you fat cunt yeah you're looking a little big but what is that but don't turn around let me look at those titties those huge gorgeous tits and even like um you know i love love Will and Grace and I'm rewatching from the beginning. And this has nothing to do with that.

Fat jokes. The number of fat jokes about Will. It's so great. It's so funny. Well, I guess it's. Is it funny because he's not fat? It's funny because Jack is so superficial that he thinks a completely normal body is fat. Oh, okay.

Because Jack, the character is constantly like in the gym or like on a diet. And trying to be skinny. That's so funny to me. No, this is New York in the 90s, so I think it was muscles. Oh. That's why everyone's in a tight-ribbed v-neck sweater. Oh, my God. The early 2000s is fucking rotten.

And this is not part of that. I'm thinking of, I don't even want to say what it is, but a lot of other gay representation was like, you know, like, honey, if if we're gonna be best friends we have to get your highlights like i don't and it wasn't about the gayness but the gayness attached to the meanness attached to being disgusted by like what is that what's with this um i'm curious about this goal i it is i'm lucky that i haven't had to evolve on it it's always seemed bizarre from the beginning what is this gold star gay i don't know gold star gay i

have no i have had no physical dealings with it with a a female i'm not even my mother it's so crazy it's so gross it's so stupid how many stars do i get if even gay men won't fuck me thank you thank you although last night she and I hung out last night. We did. She and I. You and I. She and I hung out. Hung out last night.

My favorite thing about you living by me and having a car is that I get a ride. Yeah. Love. Yeah. Love. I haven't gotten us into an accident. No. No.

And you could have. I could have. Should have. We went to Andrew's Cabaret last night at Plaza here in Hollywood. Right here in the heart of Hollywood on La Brea. Which is a very fun place to go. It's fabulous. It's giving major Jacques vibes.

I almost said it last night. Major. Major. Jacques wishes, by the way. It's a lot. Oh, the layout's better. The layout's way better. It's more user-friendly.

The one thing that the Plaza does not have, which they are in desperate need of, is a follow spot. 100%. A follow spot. 100%. A follow spot. They almost, for Andrew shows, I'm like, they almost should rent one and just use it that night. Desperate need of a follow spot. Big time. Although it's tough because you need to be on, you need to be propped up a little bit.

And it's a very low ceiling. Like Jacques, but it's a very low ceiling. It's lower than Jacques even. I can almost touch that ceiling. Yeah, you can. Yeah, I think. Jacques is low too, though. You're right. It's a's a very low ceiling but anyways they need a follow spot but yeah spectacular show it was so fun we got to see macy rodman perform we got to see andrew yeah i feel

bad because i didn't catch the name of everybody mostly because the host andrew didn't say everyone's name so i don't totally know well we had lisa lords um julian um aka brock banks aka alissa lords all the way from the palace in Miami, Florida. Girl, you and I were gooning because she was doing the only... This joy has liberated! This joy has liberated! Yeah, crazy. And that type of drag number,

it's gone all the way. It's sort of like, things are funny on the third time, but it comes back around to 11. It comes all the way back. I've started really enjoying and laughing at... Laughing at, not like bad no those numbers make me laugh yeah like whip crack drag numbers just like make me laugh it's it's crazy it's almost like it's it's so it's the discussion about about about about like it's so um meta it's like it's so i think your experience is so pulled away so many times it's like it's hard even to like really objectively look at it it's very funny julian brock does not we get in drag to look sexy

he doesn't have to look and get dry to look sexy so he is a brave marine for participating he's basically like um most people that hot i think would be not trying to do anything to compromise the image of hotness in a lot of ways drag is going to shatter that illusion for people yeah and i like that he's like yeah no i'm really hot but i also dress like a woman and whip my hair i love that yeah he's um he's very fascinating because he's uh he is he do he used usually does shave his beard you know and when he does shave his beard he looks looks very sexy. Yeah. Very, very female sexy. Very, very woman sexy. And he's also very sexy out of drag, obviously. He's a porn star.

But yeah, he turns those little palace looks, those little fucking Miami. Yeah. And I love the hair, though. He doesn't have a lot of my hair. I do know that. Yeah. I was very inspired by the show because it was apocalypse themed well first it was 420 blazing oh yeah and then it switched to the apocalypse then it switched to the apocalypse and there was an air horn um there was

a um there was a red alert what do you call that um amber alert amber alert what do you call that on the phone yeah yeah you attention that's what i call it attention it is the apocalypse yeah and at first it's funny because you and i got there as good supporting friends like eight on the dot when the doors opened and eden's working the door and we walk in and there's no one in there and i could tell like just because we're there andrew's like people come andrew's like they'll shuffle in and of course course, I knew they would. But when they did come in, you could tell Andrew was like, a little relieved. You know, because everybody, of course, it's all faggots in Hollywood.

They're going to wait until the last second to walk in there. It filled up in the last 10 minutes. In the last 10 minutes. And also, it filled up with a, you throw a bag and you just, it would just hit someone very gorgeous and sexy. It was crazy. It's crazy. Talk about it. Talk about it. Talk about it.

Would you please, would you please expound upon it? Would you please explain it to the audience? Would you please tell them, tell them, please. My eyes were almost bulging out of my head. There's of course people are hot when you're like,

he's hot. But the beyond version of that, but the beyond version, hold on. The, the beyond version of that is when people are so hot that they're just like works of art. I know. And they're just, there was a guy at the end of our table.

I know he does porn. He was sitting behind us at the end of the table facing us. I know he does porn. Michael Boston or Porphy. The bottoming guy. Michael Boston. Michael Boston. Yeah.

Yeah. In person. I'm just like, my God, you were made for porn. His like full lips, full cheeks, bushy eyebrows, brick jaw. I'm like, you were made for gooning. You were made for. Yeah. Like, and if you weren't going to do porn, you were going to be a very distracting temp at an office.

Yes. Because like you were just made to be beautiful. I know. It's crazy. I get so excited seeing these porn people in real life because they just are gorgeous. It's so. They deliver in person. I'm like drag queens.

No. Yeah. They deliver. They are DHL. They are. Yeah. You know, last time I'm just glad Chirac wasn't there because normally when I see Chirac I just I'm like, oh, like turn into like, I don't know, putty putty yeah putty with cum on it yeah it's like

really gross but and then pete was sitting next to us and andrew gets on stage and just telling the story about like first time i did smoked marijuana i made pete smoke it and pete's like yeah and i really forgot oh my god they know each other from Salt Lake City. So long ago. High school. High school. That's crazy to me. Also, do you realize the physical evolution that Miss Andrew has gone through? Do you have any idea about it? She sent me pictures. Do you have any idea about it? Yeah.

Body snatchers. Body snatchers. Body snatchers. Yeah. The swan. 2001. The space odyssey. A waif. A waers. Yeah. The Swan. 2001. A Space Odyssey. A waif.

A waif. Yeah. And then, it's just crazy to me. I'm not sure that she's the person that everybody thinks she is. Something. Do you know what I mean? I mean, she could have been three or four different people. We still don't know.

She could change again. She could change again. She's in constant metamorphosis. Constant metamorphosis. There's so many hot people there. It was, I almost have to like. to like you have i have to regroup i have to just get centered and i have to have to touch grass you have to touch grass there was somebody there that you know that i think is hot and he was there in person and i was like oh my god he's so beautiful i was like

he's so fucking even better in person. But so many, we know. And what's weird is that I need these guys. I'm like, I would watch porn or have watched porn of all of you. Yeah. But then we also know them and they are nice to us. It's a really weird thing. It is so strange. And it makes me really aware of when you're that hot, it really must affect all of your friendships. It has to.

Yeah. I mean, it's okay. For example, so I mean, it's okay. For example, so I share a studio with Andrew. Andrew is really good friends with like the big, a lot of these porn guys

and I am too. I wouldn't call my, I don't hang out with them by myself, but like I'm friendly with them. You're kind of like a third wheel. Yeah. Like a third gross,

disgusting wheel. Yeah. Like a clinger on her. Yeah. Like a boot. Like a boot. You know, that they put your boot on the car when you get too many tickets on the boot. There's four a boot like you know that they put your on the boot on the car

when you get too many tickets i'm the boot there's four wheels and then you yeah yeah so i was like you know i'm in the studio one day and i look over in austin avery is like bent over with his asshole out and i had to sit down and i had to like i had i had to like count back from 10 i had to do all those like little exercises because i I'm like, okay. Because I could feel myself spiraling out of control, spiraling out of desires control. This is the years ago. And it's just a lot to like, it's a lot when they- To process.

It's a lot to process when they bring, I don't know what's the, what is the- In movie star world, let's say Pedro Pascal, so beautiful, universally adored. I movie star world, let's say Pedro Pascal. So beautiful. Universally adored. I think even the lesbians want him. Yeah. But in his roles, we get to know the character as a person and we are only allowed to imagine

what they look like naked. Right. Versus in porn world. These are people who are for all purposes, way hotter than any movie star, you know? Yeah. But because we're given the whole shebang up front and the imagination is sort of removed if these people didn't do porn the fucking person who blew me away last night was a dentist do you know what i mean yeah the fact

that they i haven't seen them naked there is the mystery that like is somehow that's why we love celebrities were like shocking their selfie. They were photographed by a Chinese spy balloon. Madonna stuns a new selfie. Madonna stuns a new selfie. Yes. Wild girl. Wild.

Slither. Slither. Madonna stuns a new selfie. That's the name of a lot of the race song. Madonna slithers a new selfie Did you know that there's a bridge Under Terabithia Under Terabithia

You know that there's a bridge under Terabithia And that Madonna has stunned a new selfie But you know what Madonna has A lust for life But last night I don't want to harp on it But in addition to a fabulous show We were treated to

And Service That I would I would say that I love the plaza I would say that the service is How long did it take you to get it? It took me 20 minutes

To get a bottle of water And it wasn't a full bar 20 minutes Love it And I go to a lot of shows at plaza This is Jacques This is Jacques We had This is jocks. We had Rosa, the waitress, when we used to do Perestroika, one waitress making her way

very leisurely. Slowly. Very leisurely, slowly around the crowd. By the way, we make money on alcohol sales. God forbid we sell more alcohol. I know. It's so nuts. Then again, I order water, but this is, you order water for me and I'm going to show you

the process of getting someone water. Hi, can I have a water? Oh, thank you. That's it. That's it. I'm not asking for a blended margarita. Right. You're taking a bottle.

It's a bottle of water. Let's try that again. I'm so thirsty. May I have a bottle of water? That's it. That's all that again. I'm so thirsty. May I have a bottle of water? That's it. That's all there is. Flaming shots. I'm not asking for a shot ski, a blended drink.

Right. Can I have a pink squirrel ice cream drink with a... No, it's water. No, it's water. Just a bottle of water. And by the way, it's all porn people. So... Everybody's on G?

That's what I'm saying. They're all on drugs. They're not drinking either. Right. It's a little circuit party-ish. A little G. Myies i got to meet vigiletti yes yeah who has remixed ding dong and he was so nice and so great so cool perfect skin oh my god the whole time i was looking at him i kept thinking you look good in drag he does drag he does i didn't know that oh he does fierce drag i was like his big round cheeks i was like he would be beautiful drag i didn't know that oh Oh, he does fierce drag. I was like his big round cheeks. I was like, he would be beautiful in drag. I didn't know that.

Oh, I'll show you a picture. He's like so hot in drag. Yeah, gorge. So fierce in drag. And then it was 420 and they handed me free a thing. And I don't want to be a traitor to my kind because I am new to marijuana. A CBD joint? Cock and ball douchery.

What the fuck is a CBD joint? Cock and bullshit douchery. Cock and bullpucky douchery. It's nothing. CBD is... It's sucking cock with a condom on. Yes, it is. Thank you.

What are we doing? It's the... Can I get a non-alcoholic beer? It's the placebo effect. Just get a Diet Coke. It's the placebo effect. Yeah. A CBD joint?

Girl, eat my ass. Crawl up into my bedroom at night and eat my ass. We're at a 420 show where there's drag queens with bags of fake marijuana and people dressed as pot leaves dancing. And you're going to give me a CBD joint? CBD. Hemp milk. Hemp milk latte. Am I a Nicki fan?

Hemp milk latte. Are you friends with Taylor Swift? Are you friends with Taylor Swift? Let's take a break. It's a new day. How can you make the most of it with your membership rewards points? Earn points on everyday purchases. Use them for that long-awaited vacation.

You can earn points almost anywhere, and they never expire. Treat your friends or spoil your family. Earn them on your adventure and use them how you want, when you want. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Learn more at amex.ca slash yamxtermsapply. Turn off hesitation. Turn off doubt. Turn off hesitation. Turn off doubt. Turn off fears.

The YMCA of Greater Toronto helps you turn off whatever's holding you back so you can let your potential shine. Turn on confidence. Turn on connections. Turn on possibilities. There are hundreds of programs and services available at the Y. See what you can achieve at ymcagta.org. This will be the day. So the show was good.

The night before. Wait, the show was good. The night before I got to see Blondie. Oh my God, 80 years old. Yeah, so Blondie, so good. Started at the Greek. Okay. And it was a little triggering

because the Greek is where we did the Netflix standout special with all those comics. Oh, my God. Oh, that's right. The one that ran really long. Let's say there was last minute changes at that show. There were last minute changes to the program that became very stressful to the performers. Yes.

And in that show, I'm not going to point names. I'm not going to point fingers and name names. But in a big roster like that, where everyone's required to do a set amount of time everybody went over and everybody except me and everybody complained about and then everyone complained about it running long but they were going over when we're a half hour over and all the comics who went in the first half are like wrap it up i'm like you did longer you all did longer than we were supposed to yeah this is all your fault it's your fault but it was great to be back back at the greek it's outdoor theater the air nice and cold i'm with darian she's in a

pink fur coat i'm in a little it's nice and cold yeah fabulous they played all the hits i wanted to hear maybe i missed a couple that i would love to hear but they i mean it was just beyond they start with one way or another i love when bands have so many hits that they can start with a mega hit it's so exciting yeah that's right it was fucking cool it's like when i saw the b-52s and they started with private idaho and i just started shooting cum like it was so good so blondie is the original members are all getting up there in age the only two original members were the drummer and debbie harry and debbie harry heart of glass which is a mega hit. Y'all know Heart of Glass. You know it. Sing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

That song hit. It's like she's here. Not because of the scene, because of the age. Wasn't that good? It was really good. Thank you. Heart of Glass was their first hit. It hit in 1979 when Debbie Harry was already, I believe, 31.

Fun fact. So people don't know. She was 31 in 1979. she was 31 in 1979 she was 31 in 1979 so that puts her in 2023 how old is deborah harry 80 ish 80 ish and i'm only saying that because in 2000 in 1979 she was 31 how long how old is deb is Debra Harry in 2023? 77. 77. 70 fucking seven. Yeah.

On stage. Yeah. Real legs out. Well, I'm sure she had tights on, but boot, black boot, black, like stretched black studded romper. Uh-huh. Nice little like shape. Yeah. Wearing her real hair.

I've seen them twice before. And both times she wore, I'm just going to say it. A party wig. A blonde party city wig. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With sunglasses. Huge sunglasses. This time her real hair all punked out

and the makeup, I believe Miss Guy did it, snatched. Perfect for the giant space. She looked fucking perfect. They sounded so good. The drummer's up there in age two throwing sticks in the air and catching

them the visuals were amazing i ran into an issue which was two i'm just gonna say it two faggots two faggots homo men to the right of me and darian did not have those seats and so excuse me what now justin tranter's on one side of them And me and Darren are on the other side And there's two faggots in the middle of our row Who just did not have those seats And I know that because They just wandered I had those seats

So the whole line What did you do What did you do Well since it's standing The whole line is like Crammed together extra Because these two faggots just Did not have seats

Those are not your seats Mary So Darren and I were just like So what can you do in that moment I'm not gonna be Karen I was gonna say is it is it karen i don't believe that it's karen and by the way we weren't i don't believe that it's karen so it wasn't worth the lying and cheating we were like in the back so i'm just like you don't have a ticket and now darian and i are like this close which is fine love darian but like you shouldn't be here mary so what can you i'm this is like i feel like this is something that people,

this could be a learning lesson for someone, a teachable moment. Cause this would, this would perturb me to the max if I were you and I would not say anything. And I would let it, I would let it, you would leave early. I would leave.

I probably leave early anyways, but I would, I would use this as like, Oh, there's my big, there's my dog. There's my dog bone. I'm just going to bite it and then go. Right. Like this is like oh there's my big there's my dog there's my dog bone i'm just gonna bite it and then go right like this is like a perfect excuse for me to leave

right you know but so what what would you say like if you were another person what would you say to that person what would you say what would you say i could have said hey i think i have your seat what do you mean i have your seat So Yeah I guess I shouldn't have said that I should have been like Hey I think you're in my seat That would have been just the way to do it I guess I think you go to I think you get

You get an usher Yeah You get the government involved I think you get the government involved You get the feds up in there Yeah Because they're gonna be like Let me see your tickets

I know And they're gonna be like We don't have any I know And then they're gonna get the fuck out of here And they film almost the whole concert Which I just think fuck you first of all who's who's watching concert footage back number one number two how about how about the lady um recording the oh we gotta talk about that we have to talk about that back to plaza back to plaza so in addition to there's people

on stage and maybe some people in the audience are taking stories of like I'm at Plaza watching the show, watching the cabaret. A woman who works there. The waitress. The waitress who could be getting me my water. Yeah. She's walking around and I'm just going to do what she's doing. And this is a podcast. So I guess I'll tell you too.

But she has the flash on. The flash on. Huge iPhone. It's dark. It's a club. Yeah. She's walking table to table and smiling. Everyone's smiling. Yeah.

I'm not kidding. Two feet from two feet from their face. Table to table. Everyone there. It almost, it almost, you know, it to me,

it felt like evidence. It felt like evidence. Yes. Because I'm just going to say at that show, there's performances that maybe I wouldn't want to admit that I saw because they are a little over the line and wild. Over the line and wild. I think during this time, there might have been a little person doing Isis wings with a jockstrap on that was barely hanging on to their physicality. Barely hanging on to their physicality, if you know what I mean.

Yes. There were cock and balls visible yes yes it was a little person with isis wings and it felt like not i'm like terrorism no i just like drag isis wings yeah yeah and we're all loving and living and laughing loving but then when i start getting filmed i start to feel am i being exploited is this blackmail like Are they going to make it seem like we forced someone into stripping for us? Like, what is this? I know. It felt like evidence collection.

It felt like entrapment. She also had glasses on the bridge of her nose and the flash on. So she's just like. It was so strange. It was so crazy. The waitress. She could have been getting that water, that of water that bottle of water so going back to the um so kicking those people out of the no ticket having seats in the in the greek you know why he didn't say anything to you because you don't

want to be a bitch no when the music started he knew every word and i was like i'm not gonna like well guess what if you know every word it's your responsibility to get fucking tickets to that show i don't know i personally kicked them out hello i'd be like you're not stealing this person's seat but also they're not. What are they going to do? Sit on somebody? It's seated. Seated theater.

That's why I don't fuck around with standing. I do not fuck around with standing. I don't either. And I said to Darian, I said, I hope when they come out, I said, I hope when Blondie starts that everyone doesn't stand up. Everybody stands up. Everybody stands up. But this is what you need to know.

Everybody stands up. This is what you need to know. Everybody stands up. If we sit, we can all see. Exactly. And we can sit. Mary. Why don't we sit at concerts?

I'm sorry. I don't know. I know it's horrible. And I play rock concerts. I understand it is more exciting for the performers when everyone's standing. It is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But. That's why Miss Lana Del Rey. This is why. This is why I, this is why. See, here's, this is a perfect example of the situation. Perfect example. Lana Del Rey. Lana. Means Lana.

She does the kind of music that would be perfect for a seated theatrical venue of the classiest variety. Name the classiest variety of theater you can. Let's say Wang's in Boston. Exactly. The Wang Center, formerly the Wang Center. I can't remember what it is now. Good old Tremont Street or whatever. Beautiful, gorgeous.

Ornate. Ornate. Like absolutecoco interior baroque and it's it's just stunning boxes loge all that crap balconies sit down in your lovely little gown your little tuxedo and you get high on the beach you get high on the beach you watch that warbler come out warbler she's in a half inch mule and her hair is laid and she goes she's in a linen gown she's in a linen gown she's getting suspended from the ceiling on she's getting she's getting propped up on a grand piano and she is just warbling the blues seated emotional like a revelation but her fans standing up.

They're so consumed with their, they're standing up no matter what. And they're screaming back every single lyric that she belts out. Every single fucking lyric. It's absolute horse shit. I would never see her, never see her in concert for this exact reason. Ever, ever, ever.

The fans are absolutely garbage if you google lana del rey brazil they're just screaming it's screaming every single fucking lyric isn't it almost rude to scream over this type of music are you kidding it's incredibly rude i'm sure that she hates it i'm sure that she hates it she can't even hear herself yes she can she has ears in it doesn't matter they're screaming so loud they're screaming they have hacked into her earpiece the mainframe and they're screaming directly into her that'd be so kind to like hack into someone's because you know those ears make you basically deaf to only your music yeah it'd be great to heck into that hi hi hello you look insane keep trying to

dance bitch you know i would love to do that to taylor taylor swift yeah keep walking back and forth on that stage bitch oh you may get you got to the front turn around and walk the other way bitch oh change tank tops it's fine you didn't need to style your hair yeah you did not need to style your hair why start now 20 did not need to style your hair. Why start now? Yeah. 20 years into your career, why style the hair now? Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, it's crazy.

But I- But Blondie was good. But Blondie was good. But I wish, I also wish, I want to sit and I want to enjoy it. I want to like have my body be like calm so that I can take all my other senses can be and wrapped in the performance. Yeah, I want to be able to sit. I want to be able to sit.

I want to be able to hear, see, and become emotional. Yeah. Because you better believe I'm becoming emotional. So the other part of this story is Darian and Peppermint and people I was with, they all know Debbie. Because a lot of New York people know Debbie. A lot of New York people. And it was one of those things where they were like,

hey, do you want to come to the little hotel after Kiki? Debbie's hotel. Amazing. And I said, because I have for stage coach the next morning, I said, I can't. What a great decision you made. I know. I'm very surprised that you did that.

But I'm being honest. It's because you didn't want to do drugs. When I like someone that much. Oh, you don't want to sell yet. I'm scared. Okay. I don't want to go through the emotional labor of having to meet someone I love that much.

Also, you know what? I'm okay to love someone and let them be. Let them be a fart. I agree. Let them be a fart. No, a far. Oh I'm okay to love someone and let them be a fart. I agree. Let them be a fart. No, a far. Oh,

a far. Yeah. A far. Let them be a fart. I'm okay to let her be Debbie Harry and maybe a fangirl. Yeah. And that distance is okay. Yeah.

I feel about that. I feel that about a few people, Dolly. Yeah. You know, like people like that where I'm like, I feel that way about, I feel that way about Bjork.

And every time I get a text message from her, it feels like a prank call. I know. You know what like people like that. I feel that way about Bjork. And every time I get a text message from her, it feels like a prank call. I know. You know what I mean? Because you have some famous people pranking you. Not pranking you, but calling you. It's only when it's like out of left field and someone's really famous. And it's always like a random text.

And I'm like. It feels like pranky. It feels like. Is this real? It feels pranky. Yeah. It feels pranky. But that's also how I feel when I get DMs sometimes

because I just assume nobody runs their own accounts anymore. Oh, right. It's probably somebody gay. Hey, faggot. Hey, fierce bitch. Hey, fierce faggot.

Shannon Elizabeth is living for your tea. She wants you to come boots. Hey, fierce faggot. Hey, fierce faggot. Shannon Elizabeth has been living for your tea and she wants you to come boots

shannon elizabeth icon alexis michelle shannon elizabeth alexis michelle i love good um you know my favorite porn name is jenna jameson oh yeah it's a great name it's fabulous also tracy lords as a porn name you like the name just a regular name. It's fabulous. Also, Tracy Lords. As a porn name? You like the name? Just a regular name. Oh, Tracy Lords. Okay.

Do you think Tracy Lords sounds like pointy? Well, some people have names that you have to say both. Tracy Lords. Something in the rhythm of it. And Tracy Lords is one of those names where you have to say Tracy Lords. Tracy Lords. Jenna Jameson. I have to say David Silver. David Silver.

I don't know why. Ashley Michelle. Alexis Michelle. Ashley Michelle. No, that was, that, Ashley Michelle was a queen in why. Ashley Michelle. Alexis Michelle. Ashley Michelle. No, that was, Ashley Michelle was a queen in Boston. Ashley Michelle. Alexis Michelle.

It was Ashley Michelle? Yes, I know. It's this head scratching. Are you Mary Kate, like in Ashley? Like pick a name. It's a, she picked two.

Sugar and Spice should be Ashley and Michelle. Ashley and Michelle. Ashley and Michelle. Mary Kate and Ashley. That's three people with two girls. What do you think about people who assert their middle name? My name is Sarah Michelle Geller. Do you know what I mean? What do you think about people who assert their middle name

My name is Sarah Michelle Geller Do you know what I mean What do you think of that What do you think of that I think it's crazy I think it is too What's her name Sarah Jessica Parker

Sarah Jessica We have to go talk to Sarah Jessica Sarah Jessica That's Alexis Michelle Sarah baby Jessica Parker I think it's Alexis Michelle. Sarah Baby Jessica Parker. I think it's crazy. It's crazy. I think it's insane.

It's really crazy. Tiffany Amber Thiessen. Sarah Jessica Parker. Yeah. Although I... Tiffany Amber? I guess we're all saying women's names are...

Tiffany Amber? Michael Patrick King. Michael Patrick King? Dustin Lance Black. Dustin Lance Black. Weird to have three names. Weird to have three names. Brian Joseph McCookook Brian Michael Furcus

Brian Jordan Alvarez Brian Jordan Alvarez Weird Freckle Freckle Freckle Freckle Freckle

Loved So you showed me A clip A clip from The Suite Life of Cody Brown Or whatever It's called The Something Something

Of Caleb Gallo The Something Something Of Caleb Gallo Control group Control. Control group. Control group. This very talent. The gay and wondrous life of Caleb Gallo. The web series that I'm not kidding is probably eight years old now.

I think it's probably more than that. Control group. Control group. I can't type when you call me. Control room. 2016. So seven. Whatever.

Yeah. Eight years old. I was right. And old i was right and were you right was she right yeah okay brian jordan alvarez is in it who is from he's in megan he was in will and grace so attractive he's amazing i think he's so attractive too i think he's so i think he's so attractive very handsome so handsome but you watch his instagram for the comedy he does characters using filters. So funny. And one of them is me, Timothy, the bald one. The one with the source energy one.

Oh. Connecting the source energy. Marnie. That's Marnie. Marnie is so, Marnie is the best. Do you remember when I bought you a cameo from Marnie? Marnie, yes, you did. And the video said, Katya, I remember meeting you in Prague. Yes. You were walking into the ocean.

It was something crazy like that. So fierce. You're reconnected with source energy. You're screaming. Brandon has a t-shirt of Marnie that says pure source energy. Yeah, it's fabulous. And it's him. It's this actress Freckle.

Freckle. Who has. I mean, everybody in it is good. Freckle pieces resound They're so funny So funny So funny Sometimes things that are expensive

Are worse And she's really quite a beauty She's gorgeous The eye color, the skin, the lip, the hair Hardly any makeup on that face And she plays this character so wild. So wild. I know this character.

I know this person. Yeah. I know this person. This is a fully fleshed out person. There's a scene where she's putting on like cold cream and she goes, God, that's a lot. She goes, with how much I drink, I got to put the moisture back in. Yeah. So funny.

So funny. Yeah. I've had eight glasses of wine. I've had eight glasses of wine. Yeah. Good for her. Freckle. Freckle. What else? Let of wine. I've had eight glasses of wine. Yeah, good for her. Freckle. Freckle. Let's take a break.

Let's take a break. Get ready to uncover your potential with the all-new LG Gram Pro laptop. Staying as light as a gram, this powerhouse is here to elevate your workflow. Powered by Intel Core Ultra Processor with AI-adhanced capabilities, you can keep your cool and stay in control of your work with advanced power dual cooling. Welcome to the pro-life with LG Gram Pro. Experience the power of pro. Get your LG Gram Pro today.

Pro. Anytime. Anywhere. 3, 2, 1, 0. The final seconds of the game separate true fans from the rest. The fans that are there for every victory, defeat, agony, and ecstasy. And when the buzzer sounds, you deserve a Coke Zero Sugar. The one with irresistible taste and zero sugar. Win or lose, Coke Zero Sugar is the most refreshing way to end the game. Coke Zero Sugar.

Best Coke ever. Learn more at Coca-Cola.ca. Ask me a question. I have a question. I have a hot topic. Do you know about the Budweiser thing? Are you kidding? kidding okay so this bud light activist dylan mulvaney yes tiktoker and activist dylan mulvaney budweiser did like

a little activation pr thing with them yeah trans person by the way trans person trans and by the way every year for every pride for decades every alcohol brand gets involved in Pride. Of course. They want to dip it in the gay dollar. It's not new. The gay trans dollar. It's not new. The LGBT in June means green.

Yes. And every brand gets involved. Every beer, every liquor, every wine. And it's gotten more and more so. But I would say 20 years ago, beer shit was like for Pride. When you play a Milwaukee Pride Fest, you will play the Miller stage. Sure, sure, sure. The Anheuser-Busch tent.

Right. Yeah. So it's really cracky, bizarre, left field, and whack that conservatives are now like, now the agendas come to beer. Yeah. Where have you been? I have to dump out all of my Bud Light. And then not only that,

I have to line up the bottles and shoot them with a rifle because my name is Kid Rock. Do you know about that one? What happened? Shooting, literally shooting, but is it Bud Light? Yeah.

Shooting Bud Light cans or bottles with a rifle in protest. Should kids even have guns? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. That was good. That was fun. I think it's so, I think everybody is just so stupid. It's funny because it's like every year, like clockwork, every liquor brand doing gay stuff, doing gay stuff. And then for some reason, the LGBT, this person, this, something about this person and this scenario made conservatives realize beer and liquor has been gay for a long time.

This isn't new. Your favorite beer, whatever, didn't pivot messaging. This has been happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you look so stupid to be mad about it. Yeah. Also, you're also just giving them tons of free press. You know what I mean?

Well, apparently not because did you see the apology? What apology? Honey, baby, darling. When I tell you what you're about to be told. Kid Rock apologized? He said, sorry for shooting all those cans. No, Anheuser-Busch put out a statement. They said, we didn't know that Dylan Mulvaney was trans.

No, I wish it was that simple. It's crazier. It says, let me try to find it. Now, I understand these are big companies, whatever, whatever, whatever. But I just want to prerequisite this by saying, if you're not, I'm just going to let you read it. Okay. As the CEO of a company founded in America's heartland more than 165 years ago, I am responsible for ensuring every consumer feels proud of the beer we brew. We're honored to be part of the fabric of this country.

Anheuser-Busch employs more than 18,000 people in our independent distributors employ an additional 47,000 valued colleagues. We have thousands of partners, millions of fans, and a proud history supporting our community's military, first responders, sports fans, and hardworking Americans everywhere. That's a very particular group. But do you see how it's a lot of words so far? Nothing has been said. Nothing has been said. We never intended to be part of a discussion that divides people. We are in the business of bringing people together over beer.

My time serving this country taught me. My time serving this country. Serving this country. A lot of words here. A lot of particularly chosen words here. Serving this country taught me the importance of accountability and the values upon which America was founded. Freedom.

Hard work and respect for one another. As CEO of Anheuser-Busch, I'm focused on building and protecting our remarkable history and heritage. There's a lot of dog whistling going on, if you know what I mean. No. Do you see how they're not making a stance apologizing about gay shit? No. But they're saying, we have a proud history.

We used to also be racist. You know what I mean? Yes, they're dog whistling. They're dog whistling. They're like, hey, listen up, y'all. We actually hate trans too. Maybe not that, but they're not. My issue is they're not doubling down and saying,

you know what? We love everyone. And we love Dylan each shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That would have been fine. I care deeply about this country, this company and our brands and our partners. I spend much of my time traveling across America, listening to and learning from our customers, distributors and others.

Moving forward, I will continue to work tirelessly to bring great beers to consumers across our nation is not an apology. It's a nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. And that's what I find so offensive about it it's you could go wild because they could have doubled down and said you know what pride month is coming dylan is a person yeah you don't have to have a beer with dylan yeah but whatever yeah you have the freedom to go drink whoever with whoever you want to drink with or they could have pivoted and said you know what

our messaging is a little more conservative and we shouldn't have done that. And we don't like LGBT. Do one or the other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This middle shit. This is a bunch of like. Corporate. Like 30 people at a table typing this letter by letter being like, make sure you don't express any real views.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But okay, we have to hit the buzzwords like serving. Like serving our troops. First responders. Heritage. History. have to hit the buzzwords like serving like the serving our troops first responders um heritage history like all this like this sounds like the making of like a kirk cameron movie it's like it's crazy and the issue is i personally i feel in america that the average consumer increasingly wants brands to have almost like political identities we want to know that kleenex also believes in gay marriage yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't care if scott towels or brownie paper towels is sponsoring pride right right i don't care yeah yeah yeah but the flip

side of that is when i find out i don't know the the CEO of this company is poaching exotic animals. I don't love it. Or when you find out that the CEO of this company is actively like is shoveling cash into focus on the family. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But with a beer company like this, if your messaging has always been that you're almost like Dolly Parton or Beyonce, where you never really express a view. You sort of if you were like Beyonce, do you like the gay? She'd be like, I think everyone deserves love and respect. Boom.

Or Dolly would be like, Dolly, do you want gay marriage? She'd be like, I think everyone should be able to have the love they want. Yes. They say like around the phrase. Yeah, yeah. They're inclusive. And if you're going to be a beer company

and when push comes to shove, you put out that straight coward shit, then you should have never expressed an opinion to begin with, I guess. Yeah. If you're our allies when pride is coming. And so we like things might happen attached to your brand, but you're not our allies.

When the hateful people that drink your beer speak up. Yeah. And you weren't an ally, Mary. That's what, that's what's confusing to me about it. Ally means when it's going good, right?

That's what it means. I can just enjoy it while it's going good. And then that's, well, that's what's confusing to me about it. Ally means when it's going good, right? That's what it means? I can just enjoy it while it's going good and then dip? Well, that's why I was so confusing about it because I was like, I just assumed that they have a much more sophisticated PR machine that could have and should have anticipated all of the blowback and the fallout and the

negative repercussions from doing such a thing. But it seems like they were just kind of irresponsible and perhaps not that great. I donylan being on tiktok being open about like basically the first person to basically on tiktok at least day by day talk about transitioning uh-huh obviously gg did that on youtube like it's happening a bunch of times but i think that they probably thought that this is going to be the most like Dylan's young hasn't been canceled. Doesn't have a potty mouth.

Like, Oh, right. I think they thought they were getting someone kind of Miss America. Kind of Miss America. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But again, I'm just disappointed because what I would have loved to see if there was pushback was a complete double down of like, well, if you don't like gay people, we'll drink our fucking product. Yeah. Or sorry, you're right. fucking product. Yeah. Or sorry,

you're right. We hate queers. I mean, they're not going to do that. That word salad. It's crazy. It's unacceptable. It's the,

it's the non-apology world's word salad that is filled with little dog whistles in it. It's filled with little dog. You said that. Cause I thought I was being biased. No, it's, it's,

it's all those words are carefully chosen. History, heritage, history and heritage. Yes. History, heritage. History and heritage? Yes. Founding fathers. Yeah. When anybody mentions the founding fathers, all they're doing is making a case for racism.

Yeah. It's all it is. Mary, those founding fathers were like, they were like raping black women. Hello. Owning. Owning and raping black women. Yeah. And also the founding father, Abraham Lincoln, did not believe that black women. Hello. Owning. Owning and raping black women. Yeah. And also the founding,

but Abraham Lincoln did not believe that black people were the same, were human. And by the way, finding fathers stealing. They didn't find anything. It's so crazy. It's so crazy. So crazy.

So crazy. So I mean, it all comes back to watchmen because one of the main things in that was nostalgia. When you say you're nostalgic about a certain time think about who that certain time was good for yeah so when you say shit like our founding fathers whatever no wasn't it fun 150 years ago when you and a bunch of white men were allowed to enjoy this product like don't don't hearken back to that if anything you should be like we don't talk about

her yeah hello it's interesting that you're proud to boast like your presence at a very unattractive time in american history but you're quiet when it comes to how you feel about somebody who's transitioned on tiktok i just find it gross it's crazy and i know that of a lot of compared to a lot of people i'm kind of capitalist barbie and it's not my best quality, but nobody forced you to have a conversation about how you feel about gay people. But once you put your toe in that door and they barked back, you just cowered. Yeah.

Yeah. And I don't like that. No, it's crazy. It's no spy spineless, spineless, spineless. And they didn't even that word.

Even if you were going to do word salad, it could have been better than that. Could have been way better than that. Could have been a little more pointed a little. It had a point of view. Yes they didn't even, that word salad, even if you were going to do word salad, it could have been better than that. Could have been way better than that. Could have been a little more pointed, a little, it had a point of view. Yes. That was like,

it, all it did was like from, from, um, uh, now more than ever from, from the start, we've always been here and we will continue to,

to be here. And thank you so much for all those others who were there as well. We'll see you there. What? Yeah. Leanne Womack, I hope you dance, plays in the background. Like, it was really... I just found the whole thing very cowardly. It was crazy. Yeah. Spineless and cowardly.

But again, maybe I'm being something I don't like about people, which is I expect brands to behave like people. These are companies. Well, if they're going to start... I mean, they are behaving like people. These are companies. Well, if they're going to, if they're going to start, I mean, they are behaving like people, but that's the thing. Yeah.

If you're social, cause social media accounts now Fritos. Yeah. Fritos is like walking into Monday. Yeah. Fritos has a personality now. You know who has all the personality on Twitter? Nabisco.

Tushy. Do you follow Tushy's Twitter? Is it Tushy the porn site or Tushy the bathroom site? Tushy the bidet. The bidet. Okay. Tushy's Twitter is like mmm just woke up thinking about taking a poop I'm dead serious Tushy's Twitter

is like praying for all the girlies who still use paper on their anuses oh my god it's really crazy that one burnt yes happy anal sex day one word advice lube and Tushy responded and a bidet do, lube. And Tushy responded, and a bidet. Do you see what I mean?

Tushy's wild. And I have a Tushy in that bathroom. It's incredible. Okay. Love it. During the pandemic, everybody's scrambling for toilet paper. I was like, not over here. We're doing Noah's Ark up the ass.

Okay. Not over here. Women and children first. We're doing 28 Days Later. Oh, no. We're doing 2020. What was that movie? 2020. 2012. 2012. We're doing 28 days later. Oh no. We're doing 2020. What was that movie? 2020.

2012. We're doing 2012. 2012. Ocean's 11 up my ass. I'm not worried about paper. Paper. What is that? Paper.

Danny Ocean up the ass. We're going to go. We're going to go, but I just had to talk to you about that Bubbaizer thing. I think it's just crazy. It is crazy. And by the way,

we pre-taped these obviously, so I'm sure this is like two month old news by the time this comes out. But well, listen, have a lovely day. I just,

I just encourage brands. If you're not going to have the gall and the wherewithal and the gumption to make a stance on something and stay that, just don't make a stance. Just be a brand. If you're going to pretend to be a person, try having some integrity. That,

you know, that if you're going to pretend to be a person, try having some integrity. That, you know, that if you're going to pretend to be a person, you maybe try to have some integrity. Just a little bit. Yeah. Or just, or, or I'm fine to just think of you as, oh, they just make beers. But if you're going to try to have a personality and values, don't be a chicken shit. Yeah. You have to have some.

Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.