The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Deceptively Old at Arby's with Wesley Woods

Episode Date: November 3, 2020

Adult film star extraordinaire and producer Wesley Woods joins Trixie and Katya to talk about O.G. drag queens, bathroom sex, and letting the damn ghouls and goblins have their day. And through our continuing mission to properly educate our listeners, we finally answer the age-old question of: "Super Smooth or Super Hairy?". To follow Wesley: @TheWesleyWoods To follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel To follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To listen to our podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TBATBYT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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you'll realize how much more rewarding your hustle can be. Get up to $1,800 in value when you apply for the CIBC Aventura Visa for Business at cibc.com slash aventurabusiness. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome back to another riveting episode of The Bald and the Beautiful. Today, we are joined by an incredibly beautiful man

whose name is Wesley Woods. Oh, yay! Who has a full head of thick, lustrous, real hair. Throw it out of your scalp. And I'm Trixie Mattel and I guess we know that there's the bald and the beautiful and today it's pretty clear.

It's the first thing I notice on someone I hate to say it but it's something I covet. Really? I do still kind of sort of. Yeah. Well I don't like I mean your hair is fantastic. Thank you. We're not going to just like brown nose you all day, but like

I'm trying. Your hair is fantastic. I'm trying. I want it down to my shoulders. Like I'm going to have some fucking fun with it, you know. Let it go. It's got this natural love wave. It's so, and it's like, it looks very healthy. Do you color it? Does it look like it? No. All natural. I don't really even wash it very often.

Just perfect. You were coloring it when you were acting though, right? You weren't? No, I just go out in the sun and it gets a little bit lighter. And I'm like a cheap, like bad gay. What do you mean by that? I don't do hair. I don't do no skincare. Like I literally do like here.

He's a natural beauty from Texas. I wish I did drag. It seems like nowadays you're one of the only porn alumni who doesn't do drag yeah have you noticed that i feel like a lot of the porn people do drag now yeah they do i actually did a a fundraiser for a non-profit organization called pineapple support that does uh free therapy and subsidized therapy for performers and we actually put on a miss pineapple pageant for the guys who do drag and they competed digitally in this little pageant.

You didn't do it though. You're helping. You know what? I wish more gays were like you. Let the ghouls and goblins have their day. We always talk about let the creatures of the night Yes, we look like naked mole rats

and let us have something. That is our bread and butter. Do not come and try to steal these cookies. You can't have it both ways. You really can't. You can't. Now, before we start, I have to ask. I think we should start asking everybody this.

We are the bald. And when did you know you were beautiful? Time out. I didn't even realize that y'all were bald until like we were just sitting down having oh that's so sweet that we are bald but like spiritually we're spiritually we're hair presenting spiritually hair suit that's what we are i mean i have hair it's just to me it's not enough anymore to really like and we wear wigs for a living. We wear wigs for a living. I guess it just never, I mean, obviously though, I didn't know what boy you looks like too.

It just never really occurred. Yeah. I guess I'm just an idiot. No, no, no. It's just, you know. I realized I was beautiful though. Like probably like when I was five and my aunt would just hold my hand and stroke my hair and tell me I was beautiful.

Oh, that's so cute. Is that a lie or is that true? aunt would just hold my hand and stroke my hair and tell me I was beautiful. That's so cute. Is that a lie or is that true? No, literally to this day, she will want me to come and sit next to her so she can hold my hand and she'll say, oh my God, your hands are always so dry. That's never changed. And then she'll be like, and you're still so beautiful. Oh my God. It's very Southern, right?

So Southern. It's very a read, a compliment, a read. As she's stroking my hand, literally. Did you have, like, did you have, so wait, you were telling me you grew up in fucking, in a town of 900? 97. 97. Yeah, not even 100 people. Not even 100 people.

Yeah, I think maybe like 60 something nowadays. I mean, the liquor store closed down, so everyone moved out. That's about from the size I'm from. Well, how many in your high school? So I went into Greenville High School there in Greenville, and it's about a class of maybe 180, 200. Oh, okay. So I drove into the city, honey.

We had an Applebee's, you know. Honey, honey. I remember in my hometown, because my graduating class was like 30, 35. Oh, shit. And when we got a Sub a subway like a chain restaurant it was the place to be every kid was at subway every day after school oh my god yeah it was just like a moment and then looking for a good footlong honey is it trash to like subway because me and

david you're asking me you're like curling your mullet second Sucking dick for a living. Can I say that on here? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you're not alone. Before this person was a famous, famous, she actually got too famous, but she used to moonlight. Yeah. As a sex worker. As a hooker.

Yeah. And I miss it. Yeah. I miss it. In drag. In drag. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. I miss it a lot. Yeah. Shut up. I do. Before we get too much into it. But I can totally see that though. I mean, I grew up in the drag scene

and like trans girls raised me like i'm from that dallas part of like drag like the little s4 miss dang the village station back when erica andrews and crystal summers like yes yeah wow you are aging yourself for all the drag fans well there. Well, bitch, check it, because it don't look bad. Yeah, aren't you? You're deceptively old, right? No. No, what I mean is. Are we at an Arby's? Get out of here.

No, what I mean is you look young, but you're not. You're not. How old are you? I'm 34. That's what I mean. You look very young. You think? I do.

No, I look like a man, baby. I'm macho. I think you look. Well, he's. By the way, she's re-watching True Blood, so this accent is giving us that moment. Not, you should, he's Jason fucking Stackhouse. Oh my God, totally.

Oh my, the Jason. Do you know Ryan Quantin? I don't know either. Jason Stackhouse of drag, and he's here to show people he's still got it. So Ryan, you know, there's the actor, Australian actor Ryan Quantin is like the, I'll look him up and I'll show you later. So Ryan, you know, there's the actor, Australian actor, Ryan Quanton is like the, you, I'll look him up and I'll show you later.

I'll show you later. I mean, that is who would play you in a movie. Oh, that is who the RuPaul always asks who would play you in a movie. So that's okay. Yeah. Yeah. Or definitely big time Jason Stackhouse vibes. Yes.

Now I looked at, I looked you up before today and I have to say, have you ever Googled yourself? I try not to, cause I'm just like, it's not anything ever productive or good. Cause let me tell you what pops up when you, oh, it can get dark. Oh to because I'm just like it's not anything ever productive or good. Because let me tell you what pops up. And I spiral. Oh, it can get dark. I'm sure, well for drag, I feel like drag and adult film actors are like. We're cousins. Oh, I think more than that.

Very close cousins. A go-go dancer, a drag queen, a sex worker, and an adult film actor in the same room, same people. Same people. A lot of diagram overlap. Some bartenders, let's just be honest honest yeah yeah and there's a through line of alcoholism yes and i think we could probably put um dancers like strippers yeah for sure private dancers totally so the first thing that comes up when you search wesley woods is wesley woods senior living in atlanta uh ath Augusta, Blairsville.

It's senior living the way it's meant to be. Carefree, active, happy. Welcome home to Wesley Wood. Thank you. It is. It is so mean. I actually, true story, I got my porn name, Wesley Wood stage name, whatever, since I'm not doing porn anymore,

but still trying to use my mouth. I got my name because my mom and I were driving around in her car. Wesley Street is the main street in the town I grew up in. And being from the country, the woods, she liked the ring to it. It sounded nice. We Googled it. We saw that it was a nursing home, but also a church camp in Tennessee. I was just going to say the second thing that comes up is a summer Christian camp retreat for children, youth and adults in Northwestern. Is a summer Christian camp retreat for children, youth, and adults in Northwestern. Yeah.

Yeah. And my mom was like, that is a sign from God, baby. Wow. That is a sign from God. That a star was born. Yeah. I mean, it's really interesting how people pick their dragon porn names. You know, Iggy Azalea, friend of the show. Her first pet was named Iggy, and the street she grew up on was Azalea.

Shut up. That's how she got her stage name. She literally did that? She literally did. And it sounds so good. Yeah. Wow. Which is, don't they say that's your porn name or your drag name?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Street and pet. Stripper name. So what would your porn or drag name be if we did the pet in the street? Freddie Bergeron. What kind of animal was Freddie? A cat. Or it would be like Miss Kitty Sunhill.

Kitty Sunhill. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage, Miss Kitty Sunhill. Yes, I guess one would might be... Oh, Monique Lulu. Monique Lulu. That's okay. That could be a person. The House of Lulu.

The legendary house of Lulu the house of Lulu from Athens totally stretch pants they're all very active very active so then also googling you

one of the first thing that pops up is you probably have had the most successful short run your career was a sprint not a marathon

honey you can get a degree in four years so I finished porn in four four years four so I finished porn in four. Four years. Four years. In and out.

In and out. And you really did everything, and you became a star, and you really swept every award you can get in four years. And then you did something I don't think a lot of people in our industry do, which is quit while you're ahead. Well, that's why I was like,

okay, this cannot go anywhere better than right now and I felt like I kind of had done everything I wanted to do and I also started doing bi work and trans work it was really important for me to have my persona step outside of just me and also like teach me some shit along the way and porn released me from a lot of my fucking insecurities because you're literally just showing it all and yeah I try to take a very spiritual approach to porn. I have to commit to something. You don't have to tell me. I am a huge fan of your porn work.

I have to say that you're one of the few and I've watched a lot of porn. I used to be an active tweaker so I've watched a lot of porn. We share that. Till it's red. Skin rubbed off.

Rubbing the skin off. You know that coke dick where it seems to get softer and longer? It's going to come off in my hand. Why am I still doing this? Like a mind trick with a rope. Just pulling. I can get it. It's the determination.

Wait, wait. No, but I really want to say, I really want to commend you on, I can get it. It's the determination. No, but I really want to say, I really want to commend you on you have, um, it is a parent like immediately that a, you're a natural born performer and you are passionate. Yeah, I try to be,

you know, honestly, uh, I don't know. I think we all can relate to having, I don't know. It struggled with our sexuality at some point in time, like we,

with even without coming, becoming gay and like really owning that and stepping into that. Like for me, when I decided like porn was going to be it, this is the route I'm going to do. I wanted to really like experience it authentically and really learn if I was into getting whipped or putting my head in the toilet or watching someone eat my shit.

I wanted to know if I was into that. And honestly, you're not going to know until you do it. Yeah. It's even in non televised sexual experiences. Sometimes people get surprised by what you go along with in the moment. You're like, I would have never thought I liked that. Exactly. And fuck it.

Like, I don't know. For me too, like, we have to, I'm literally going to have to have your dick in my mouth or your at like, we're doing this. That's why we're here. My rent's due, period. And I need this paycheck. So we got to figure out how to do it.

And I am just one of those people like, if we're going to occupy space, I want to make sure everyone's comfortable and make sure everyone's happy. And tell me what you like, tell me what you don't. And let's go. Yeah. You got to what you like. Tell me what you don't. And let's go. Yeah. You got to direct.

Yes. Yeah. You got to direct. Now, without tooting your own horn too much, if you feel comfortable, what awards have you won? What's the top? I've won Performer of the Year three times. I've won Best Actor twice, Clip Artist of the Year, Webcam Performer of the Year, Best Buy Scene. I don't know.

And I have to say, too, the terrain of porn actors, it's so weird because 10 years ago, it seems like as an enjoyer of porn, studios had all the money and a few porn actors were really well paid if the studios said this is the star. And now people can get inspired and make their own porn and kind of cut out the middleman. You can just be the filmmaker and the actor and money collector. You should be. You know, I still work for Falcon Studios, Naked Sword, and I do a lot of their marketing. Naked Sword. Yeah. Miss, uh, Miss, uh, from San Francisco. Yeah.

Sister Roma. Sister Roma. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love Roma. We love her. I believe she does a lot of the graphic design. Yeah. So like we work very closely together.

We're part of the marketing team and whatnot. That's one of the reasons why we did that Miss Pineapple support pageant and what blah, blah, blah. Where were we going with this? I'm high. We were talking about awards, awards, and then directing. You should cut out the middleman. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I do work for them. And I would say as a performer, I always try to give the best advice I can to anyone in the industry. I think the studios are phenomenal at what they do. And it's a full like movie experience or really getting to walk on set and kind of learn the trade in a way that you don't. I mean, if you want to kind of learn acting and the ropes,

I hate to break it to you. Porn will release you from a lot of insecurities, really stepping into something. And you're learning camera angles, lighting, positioning, you're having a turnout so everyone can see it. Right.

And a little nuances, but you should definitely only be doing studio work. I think to kind of PR these affiliate sites that maybe you're shooting with, like your only fans or just for fans, or if you have a clip store, I mean, there's so many different ways that you can have a platform to as long, if you're a sex worker to monetize your following. Yeah. clip store, I mean, there's so many different ways that you can have a platform to as long, if you're a sex worker to monetize your following.

Yeah. Especially since, I mean, we know porn performers who probably only have a porn prep, uh, presence to drive their escorting. Cause you can drive up. You're basically a famous escort.

Yeah. Traveling salesman. People can see you in porn and go, can I get that person in my bedroom? Yeah, I can. That's what you should be using it for. Seriously. And I want to, I kind of, I want, I I get that person in my bedroom? Yeah, I can. That's what you should be using it for. Yeah.

Seriously. And I want to, I kind of, I want, I'm so curious cause I've never been on, I've never been on a porn set. Oh, we got to change that.

No, I know. You should be in one. She, she asked me a while ago. Um, uh, she, she,

she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she,

she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she,

she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she,

she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she,

she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she,

she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, Like, no. But.

Because I was watching this porn and then Manila popped up and I immediately lost my boner. I have actually gotten a few. I've gotten a few actually very financially generous. Yeah. Like there was this one that was a Western theme. Yeah. Okay. And they were like, we want a scene where you're like the house band sort of saloon

girl playing guitar. And I just passed just because of, I just passed. But yeah. I mean, I already, because of the tricks. And they were like, we want a scene where you're like the house band sort of saloon girl playing guitar. And I just passed just because of, I just passed. But yeah, I mean, I already, because of the tricks. I'm going to challenge you as a good homosexual friend. Please help put some of the sex work on the map, y'all. No, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Get into porn.

Because wasn't Manila in like a superhero porn or something? She was in Alaska. Yeah, Alaska. Alaska was in Ass Destroyer or something like that. Didn't Bianca win some kind of award for cameo? I don't know. I can't believe that she would because she's such a terrible actress. I know Alaska won like a straight up gay porn award.

I think it was for Ass Destroyer Part 8 or something like that. Maybe we'll get to host a porn award someday. You should. Shangela did, I think. Yeah, she hosted the Gavians all the time. But wait, I got it. Shangela's the only one who will host like GLAAD, a fundraiser for children performing at a college

and they do porn in the state. that's my East Texas sister, Miss Bang. She really can cover all the bases. Because she goes right up to the line with, Shangela's not nasty.

No. She'll do innuendo, she'll flirt, but she's a little more Bugs Bunny about it. Whereas we're talking about pig shit. Yeah,

scabs, scabs. Yeah. No, but Wesley, I want to get fucked in my fake silicone pussy. So I have a time out. You know, let's take a break and then we'll come back to this.

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Hot take. You've seen enough Bama Rush, ASMR keyboard, and viral dance videos for one day. Let's lock in and start that assignment. If you need a little help, lean on Chegg's expert supported learning tools. I say this with love. Put on some lo-fi beats and get going with our step-by-step study support. Your weekend will thank you. Small steps today means big wins tomorrow with Chegg. Subscribe today. today you got this and we are back so okay so i got a pussy coming in the mail okay um i started only fans and i'm having and i'm i am so into this um like um this a new identity as a as a b i don't know what the version the uh

porn version of a B movie actress would be. Do you know what I mean? Like, like, like a, a D maybe D movie actress. Do you want to, who, why don't you list some names? Who in porn is really a D lover? I'm not, I'm not, I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm saying like, I'm trying to say like, you know what I mean? You know what I'm trying to say? I'm getting ready to read. Oh, I was. She had a scroll. She said, well, these are the performances

I have found underwhelming. Yeah. No, but I, and I really, I'm committed. I'm committing, but I want to get,

if I were to appear in one of those like men.com movies, like I would really want to get fucked. Oh wow. You're like, not in my orifices, not in my real orifices. I'm not going to show my dick

and I'm not going to show my real asshole. Oh, thank God. Thank God. But I want to get titty fucked, because those things are... That's you getting titty fucked. That's the thing. And I will lick the dick, too. Oh, wow.

Okay, yeah, you should. It'll fuck me, and I'll go... I have no problem with that. And honestly, you've developed the perfect persona for it. Don't you think? Yeah, so I'm just putting that out there. Okay. Just putting that out there. I have no problem with that. And honestly, you've developed the perfect like persona for it. Don't you think? Yeah. So I think so.

I'm just putting that out there. Okay. Just putting that out there. I know you're tired, but it's I'm just putting it out there. Pull some strings. Yeah, for sure. Make some calls. And I have so many different titties to choose from.

I also have legs, feet. She's got fake feet. She's been going through. She's not a straight line. I'm aware, But I didn't Feet Fake pussies Titties

Yeah everything And it has some masks I also got fake arms Fake butts Yeah I'll show you afterwards Anyways Yeah I'm dying to know

So back to you Back to you No What is Oh my god I'm gonna ask you So you meet You show up to work

Yeah Okay Just give me a blow by blow Cause I wanna know Do I shave my asshole Before I show up to work. Yeah. Okay. Um, I just give me a blow by blow. I want to know, do I shave my asshole before I show up? Do I douche on set? Do I douche at home? It does it. It depends.

What's the normal day for you? Um, back in the day. So I'm going to be shameless and plug a sexy, funny raw on YouTube, which is my podcast channel. Okay. I actually, I actually just talked about about this but any day can change but you're basically there in the morning you're making sure that you didn't drink the night before because you don't want to have the shits because you're gonna have to be fucked right let's

be honest most adult people i love drinking two white claw will make me not have a complete or solid absolutely so you really can't and the same thing that's one of the first things i learned from porn actors is this let's say the shoots of friday the work starts so much before that it absolutely does yes sorry i didn't mean to interrupt you go hydration no that's so true and also things like um diet hydration emodium and then obvious things like the the tanning or the makeup or the trimming the trimming of your butthole. And do directors say, all right, Wesley, so I'm going to need you to be da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Do they have

like a, you know what I mean? Like in terms of what we want your everything to look like. I've been told no a lot of the times because I won't shave my chest hair or like my asshole hair. I've literally been like, uh. I've had someone pull me up once and was like, mm, kind of getting a little fat.

You're kidding. Can I ask on the positive, who's your favorite director you've worked for? Who makes you feel comfortable? I don't do favorites. Who makes you feel really comfortable? I love Shishi LaRue. I love Tony DeMarco.

I really do love everyone. I shouldn't start naming because people are going to be like, what the? You didn't say my name. It's only in our podcast, Mary. And I'm high and I blink on everyone else's. Do you do marijuana? All the time.

Really? Absolutely. Do you do smoking or edibles? All of the above. Okay, wow. I only do edibles and I micro, micro dose because a half of five milligram, I'm on Uranus, mama. I'm on Jupiter. She's in bed giggling.

I'm in bed in the dark scream laughing. Yes. And Monique Hart was here the other day and she said, how many did you take? I said, half of one and she took three whole ones

and she said, the next day she goes, girl, I don't feel it. Yeah. The one you gave me? Nothing. Yeah. What?

It's only five. What? I need about 15. I took 50 in Mexico City. Well, and then I was, then I, it was, it was turns.

Couldn't go on stage. Was there a multiplier effect? Was there other things going on? No, no, no. I swear to God, it was only that. A little coffee, a little espresso.

And can I ask, if you feel comfortable talking, I'll let you finish the day. Yeah, sorry. Sorry, we're so over. We're so over. I love this. This is,

I feel at home. This is my brain. People don't know at home. Truly, like I said before, drag queens, adult performers, we provide a fantasy that is a fantasy of gayness and sexuality. I think that's why we're all cut from the same cloth. Yeah. And we all take the wigs and the underwear off and we're the same person.

The very first time I went to a gay bar was a Thursday night at J.R.'s Bar and Grill. J.R.'s Bar and Grill. Dallas takes his hoodie. I love J.R.'s. I do too. And I walked and Grill in Dallas, Texas. I love JR's. I do too. And I walked in. It was drag night. I was like, what the fuck is going on? There's men cheering for a man in a wig. And then after that, I like

fucking fell in love. Well, you're very pro drag. Very pro trans. I know you've even done scenes with trans women. And then you do I'll let you get through your day. Basically, you show up, you're, I'm always douched before I get there.

Two Imodium in, so that way ain't nothing coming out. Yeah. Okay. And I'll have a couple of fruit snacks, you know, I make sure that there's fruit snacks for me on set or I fucking cause a fit. Yeah.

And I carry. Yeah. For sure. Well, cause I can't eat, but you know, yeah. And so,

oh, and it really pisses me off If they want to take a lunch break Halfway through I'm like This one She won't do it I will flip She won't do it

I will just have Because in drag I like to have a green juice Or a shake And her Naturally very thin And metabolism Firing like cannons

I start to get She starts to wilt If she doesn't have a cheeseburger Every two and a half hours I mean I literally start to feel faint And I get glassy eyed And I look at her And I'll be like Do you want to go keep going She's perky I'm fine Per, I literally start to feel faint and I get glassy eyed and I look at her. And I'll be like, do you want to go keep going?

I'm fine. Perky. She's ready to do it. And I'm like, how are you doing this? Do you guys do liquid meals? Because we do juices and ensures. Yeah, I'll do like some sort of like protein like right before in the morning.

Very small breakfast. Let me ask you this. I mean, these are long days. You're not shooting a scene in two hours. You're railed in the back door. You're hungry as hell. That's why I'm like, you're not. That's why I'm like, you're not. a scene in two hours you're railed in the back door you're hungry as hell that's why I'm like you're not

that's why I'm like you're not I know I'm like feed me I'm hungry feed me don't really feed me I'm fucking starving you're like

you want me to feed you that dick you're like I would love a protein shake a cracker yeah I was watching I was watching an interview with one of the Rockettes

and they eat four high calorie meals a day because they're doing those high kick Christmas shows back, back, back. Yeah. So somewhere between fasting because you want to feel sexy. Right. And two, three thousand calorie days. Because you want to stay alive.

You need to strategize. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Then you've got to time it because, you know, what goes in must come out and you're not going to do that on film. And that's why I'm like, don't take a lunch break. Like, I'm hungry. I want to get through this.

I don't want to pull belly. For a scene average day for a scene? Six to eight hours. Six to eight hours for a 20 minute scene? For a 20 minute scene. Wow. Fucking hell. Yeah. It's truly... You ever need to put a tiger bomb on it afterwards or whatever? Oh, honey. You gotta, yes. I've put some ice cubes up in there before to help some of the bleeding.

Oh my God. This is before you could do... Bareback is really all the rave now because of PrEP. Thank my God. This is before like you could do, you know, bareback is like really all the rave now because of PrEP. Thank you, doctors and PrEP. But before it was condom

and like I'm telling you getting fucked for a condom for that long. I wasn't on it for a long time and then I just did another round of those PrEP commercials.

Oh, you did? And I'm saying all this medical jargon over and over again to the camera and I was like, whore, it's available. Just get back on it. It's so true. Do you know what i mean and i like me and my boy we've been together

four years but it's like it's available to you to fucking get back on yeah and now they mean the david dacovny for prep is they have we call doskovi david dacovny and i know that's not the medical term but it works for us and it helps you gain weight so that's why i think i'm going to get on it love it yeah i've never been gayer than when I was at my, like whatever doctor, like two months ago. And he was like, well,

it was like a Truvada or you could try, you know, David Duchovny. And I was like, well, what's the difference? He goes, Truvada makes you lose weight.

Prep makes you gain weight. I said, mama. Truvada. Give me that fucking skimpy pill, bitch. Yeah. I want to,

I want to blow up. I didn't even know that. Can I ask, because you top and bottom in scenes. I like to think I'm power versatile. I just want to be invited to didn't even know that Can I ask Because you top and bottom in scenes I like to think I'm power versatile I just want to be invited to the party You are Full disclosure

I've seen a lot of your work I've seen a lot of your work as well And you also are very Kind of a switch in the power dynamic You'll do either You'll play old or young I'll be your uncle Or I will be the boy

Because you do have that look Where they put you in a suit And you're 40 Or they put him in gym clothes And he's 16 And I believe it I believe it I watched a scene where you're supposed to be this guy's stepdad And you're probably two years older than him

And I just sell it Which could happen You're a great actor Thank you He was a great actor Was He's an activist now Hey

I don't know if y'all are aware But I just did my first stage debut Here in Hollywood With Eureka With Chi Chi Chi Chi I know Was that the girls in Locked Up

Or Yeah With Tracy Lords Yep Tracy Lords Mink Stole Cocoa Prue The fuck up It was so much fun

You know what I don't remember why we didn't see it but we didn't see it and it was such a regret especially now thinking of teaching everything i was like that i was like that was going on down the road you were so lucky you got to work with her i am so lucky because y'all know her and like the outside world who doesn't like actually spend time with her phenomenal person uh-huh phenomenal person i mean i literally there were days where i was dreading going into rehearsal and just because knowing like she was there and we're in kiki and laugh like it was okay kind of an intimidating cast i mean i've worked with

coco peru and out of respect she still gives me a fucking chill because she's coco peru she's very prepared she doesn't mess up a period or a comma. Which in drag is like, I mean, you're like, No, that's the wrong one. Which in drag is, Oh, damn it. That's not good either. Really, it is.

I don't know what it was. The first time I worked there, I was like, Oh, oh, oh, the last minute unprepared piece of shit gag is not going to cut it. You're a professional monologuist and we're green screen clown strippers. Yeah, seriously. I was like, oh, just showing up is not going to be enough for this in 15 minutes.

What a great cast. That's how I felt though. But yeah. Eureka as well, right? I loved all of them I will say this though there was a lot of personalities in that room I'm sure porn and drag is similar in that way there's

let me just say this I learned I mean that was my stage I've never done anything like that so even just like the blocking to this the words like oh my god I can't say cut and like you know I have a hand it was just a lot it's stressful live theater horrible and everyone had an opinion it's a lot i mean it always live theater too i don't know about you guys i love the moment i love after it and during it but the moment before my mind goes you made a mistake and i was about to find out yeah every night yeah

every night it's really michelle when we were in robe v. Michelle, and you know, that was like, we had, what, a week of rehearsal? Week, three days. I felt the lights come up and we were back to the audience looking at clothes and a minute was an hour

and I went, they're about to find us out. Tonight's the night. Tonight's the night. It's all a charade. Yes. Yeah, I've had moments where moments before

I went on stage during my solo tour where I was like, it's over. It's over tonight. It's over tonight. And then you think about it. And even if you had a good night, sometimes the next night you're like, last night was over. The same thing.

It's like, it doesn't, there's no cumulative effect. It doesn't even, the last night of the tour, 10 minutes, I would say an hour before the show, abject fear an hour before the show. Abject fear. Total terror. Yeah. Total terror. Well, now I'm terrified because it's supposed to be coming out to a streaming service.

Oh, right. Oh, cool. And so I'm like, uh. Silver screen debut. Don't watch it. Don't watch it. Oh, I can't. I can't.

And I'm cringing that people are watching it. No. We are the opposite. That TV goes on when I'm on it. That's it. I'm not kidding. I don't watch anything unless I'm on it. I don't watch it. I don't people are watching it. No. We are the opposite. That TV goes on when I'm on it. That's it? I'm not kidding. I don't watch anything unless I'm on it. I don't watch it.

I don't like to watch it. I just found out Brunch with Tiffany. Brunch with Tiffany is going to be on BH1. I was like, great. I will watch it. I'm on it. And then she's the opposite. She was in a fucking HBO show with Michael Shannon.

And I still can't watch it. I'm not going to see it. But I got a really nice compliment just the other night from Willem who watched it and he's an actor and so he was like he's like just watch a thing

with Judy Greer great job you did a wonderful job and I was like and I almost started crying is it on HBO? it's on HBO I keep getting checks for it

in the mail it's fantastic you were wonderful it's Room 104 Room 104 so it's like an anthology series half an hour series by the Duplass people, brothers.

And they like it. Things happen in a hotel room different every time. And it's like, it was an acting stretch for her. She played a Russian transsexual prostitute. Literally. Did you literally? I did.

I literally did. I have Russian transvestite traveling companion. But talk about intimidating. I didn't know. And I was high on weed and I didn't know You were I was I was high on weed Because I was I just I was going through that Summer weed and I was Michael Shannon But I didn't I didn't know

I didn't know that there was that Caliber of star when I showed up Yeah it was just two other actors Who won Academy Awards by the way and like And I'm like Oh again Again I'm like, oh. Oh. Oh.

Again. Oh. Again, I'm the clown stripper from the green screen. These are real actors. These are real fucking actors. Yes. Real fucking actors. And mind you, I've worked on my Russian accent for 15 years, and he just shows up working

on it for 15 seconds and is better than me. No, you were wonderful. Thank you. You really were wonderful. Well, enough about me. Let's talk about you. I'm just happy to be here question yeah so in the drag in the drag world not just drag race because drag you know drag world everybody everybody's girlfriends best friends colleagues frenemies enemies and it seems to me from the

porn actors i know mostly male because gay guys yeah there is a lot of um it's a little it seems a little competitive and a little bit she it seems a little, it seems a little competitive. Competitive, a little bitchy. It seems a little, what's the word for it? They really have an opinion about each other's performances, dick sizes, whether or not they deserve their fan base. And now what I've learned, what's your view count? What's your subscriber count? How often do you post? When do you post?

You're not doing it right. Because that kind of thing. everyone has an opinion on that. I stay away from that shit. I don't even, who cares? Because sometimes from the point you're laying. Yes. From the point people I know, I'll be like, oh, do you know so-and-so? And they'll be like, he's just mad because he's older than me and my dick is bigger.

And I'm like, oh. You know? But it does seem a little. I do have a couple of people that if I were ever to be asked of them I would describe them that way too okay yeah okay I mean come on there's bad people in everywhere of course

petty in every profession maybe everyone's not totally cut out for it because I'm assuming in porn too you gotta have some sense of humor about it you should I mean you're fucking for a living. I mean, but some people, that's all you have.

If that's how you feel, then I mean, it's very, you know. But I feel the same way about drag. I feel when I come across a humorless drag queen, I'm like befuddled. I don't know what to do with it. Like an earnest humorless drag queen. You're like, there's a drag queen we know.

You know you put on a wig and acting a fool, right? Like, you know what I mean? Like, yes. What is the fuck? You will have come on your face by the end of it.

Yeah. There's a drag queen. We know where one time she went, so all that stuff you're saying, you're always joking. And I go, yeah. And she was like,

okay. Like after years of working with this person, she was like, so you always like kidding. And I'm like, yeah. And she was like, okay. Like after years of working with this person, she was like, so you're always like kidding. And I'm like, yeah. Like she thought when I would say something, it was serious. Do you know what I'm talking about? I'm dying to know too. Oh, that's why I fake it. Dallas, Texas, baby.

That is my girl, baby. She's incredible. And I can totally see that. But come on. She also doesn't. She just doesn't get my. Except, except that she is also really, really funny and has a huge knock for comedic acting. Yeah.

Well, we can't, we can't talk drudge. I would be like, you know, and I would just say something kind of catty and she'd be like, you really got a mouth on you. And I'm like, she's always mad. Anyway, gonna take a break this episode is brought to you by mazda when you drive a mazda you'll find out why our SUVs won more 2024 IIHS top safety picks than any other brand as of June 2024. Find out what makes Mazda different at Mazda.ca. Transform and roll out.

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We're back. I have a quick little lightning round that I'm going to have you respond to. And it's like this or that. And it's just lightning. Pick as fast as you can. Give us a reason why, if you want, but we're going to keep it.

Don't think about it too much. Don't think about it too much. It's like 30 seconds. You're going to be great. And you're not too high for this. By the way, telling a high person to play a game like this, he just covered his eyes.

I don't know why it felt like it was going to help. All right. Mariah Carey or Mariah Cherry? Carey. Lights on or off? On. Raisin Bran or Heidi Klum? Heidi Klum.

Super hairy or super smooth? Hairy. Peaceful and stupid or depressed and smart? Depressed and smart. Okay. Bleach or fabric softener? Fabric softener. Boomer Banks or Jack Hunter?

Boomer Banks or Jack Hunter? Boomer Banks. Arms or legs? Legs. Fruit snacks or fruit snacks? Fruit fucking snacks. And finally, RuPaul or Lady Bunny? Lady Bunny. All right.

Okay. You survived. I love that. Excellent. I put in the easy fruit snacks or fruit snacks. Who are you more scared about burning your house down? Jack Hunter or RuPaul right now? RuPaul don't know who the fuck I am.

She don't give a shit. She's somewhere out there fracking, I'm sure. Jack's out there with the gas right now. I was more worried about Jack and Boomer who was going to be burning shit down. I can tell Jack is okay, Jack. They're both wonderful. Yeah. I love Jack.

Jack is many of your sisters. And I just immediately was like, who are you having a fuck? And I was like, not my sister, Boomer. There you go. There you go. Sister dick will make you sick. And Boomer is truly like,

I think probably like, because of OnlyFans and stuff, probably one of the last like studio super superstars we'll see. And he's, I mean, nobody's nicer to the drag queens than Boomer. Oh, he's a good time. And Jack does drag, so she's one of the girls. Oh, Pterodactyl.

Pterodactyl, yes. That's her name? Yes. Pterodactyl. We love it. We love it. Shut the fuck up. Okay, so as an actor, now, I don't want to like you know

I don't want to like talk shit about no not about you I was gonna I want to compliment you without denigrating the work of other porn performers but like I said you're a great actor and you're very passionate in your scenes so I wanted to do the earnest questionnaire from

inside the actor's studio which this will questionnaire from inside the actor's studio, which this will be called inside the actor's booty hole. And, um, it's the question that James Lipton will ask like Sharon stone and Sandra Bullock at the end of this show. So, um,

so, uh, don't think about it too much. So here we go. What is your favorite word? Um, yes. What is your favorite word? Yes. What is your least favorite word? No.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally? Spiritually. No, but what turns you on spiritually can you repeat the question this show is sponsored by MedMen in West Hollywood so when you said you retired to do philanthropy

you really said smoking weed and growing out my mullet So when you said you retired to do philanthropy, you really said smoking weed. Yeah. And growing up in Moline. What turns you on spiritually? Priest. Priest. Am I still answering this question? Yes, yes. That's perfect.

That's perfect. What turns you off? Oh, great. That's fantastic. Oh, God. I shouldn't have said that. I regret saying that. We can beep it.

I know, but I shouldn't say that. We're going to beep it. I don't like smoothness. We're going to bleep it. Okay. And then it'll be an air of mystery. Ooh. Yeah.

Also, I'm with you. Yeah. Yeah. I feel the same. I feel exactly the same. You know what? If this percent of people don't like this percent does.

Oh, absolutely. So like, they're fine. Let them have them. Yeah. We'll be okay. Well,

Chromatic is out. They're going to be fine. Well, and it just got really weird when you would show up and do paperwork before a set and some people are born

in the year 2000 or later and I'm like, oh can't fuck them i cannot have sex with them you know what the problem is too that's weird my sister is 21 and my sister's 21 and 20 so any i could never anybody in that age range because i just think i remember that person as a baby yeah how about i graduated high school literally year 2000 i. As a class of 2000 graduate, you have to be fucking born in the 90s or earlier. Girl, even the 90s were, late 90s were a bother to me. I'm like, if you haven't seen Harry and the Hendersons,

you can't have it. When I saw my first license, because I sometimes just to check their IDs back in the hooker days. Oh yeah, absolutely. Because it's, you know, when I saw 90ss I was like 90 90 90

Oh god It was such a jarring thing Cause it's like 90s I remember being in the 90s Yes Thriving I mean I was born almost in the 90s Yeah

89 To me 90s seems crazy Yeah Okay What is your favorite curse word? Fuck Fuck What sound or noise do you love?

Whenever someone deposits money into my Venmo account. Cha-ching. I love that. Well, yeah. Like, how about this one? What sound or noise do you hate? The sound of 45's voice. Oh, yeah.

For me, it's that email whoosh when the email is sent. I hate that. I hate it. I hate the text. Yeah. It just sucks. Any communication. Yeah.

Any kind of, um, alert of communication is it. I hate that. How about, okay. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Um. Model? I thought I was already doing that, bitch. This isn't a modeling.

We're not going to do a little shoot. I want to be a drag queen, damn it. No, you don't. No, I don't. No, you don't. The amount of time and energy that goes into learning. Anesthesiologist.

Actually, I would love to be like an ER physician. There you go. Yeah. Okay, that's really, yeah. You went from drag queen to ER physician. We said dream big. You said I sure will. I sure will.

Well, schooling is no issue, honey. I'm going to save yourself. Yeah. What would you do if you weren't being drag or any, no music either? No makeup. No makeup or music. Um, no makeup, no makeup. I think real estate's pretty interesting. Wow. I mean, you told me, I mean, no standup.

Yeah. No standup. No standup, no music. No. Okay. No makeup. I think real estate's really interesting. Okay. Flipping houses, million dollar, million dollar listing.

Yeah. Like people say, this is the kind of house I want. I say, great. I found the perfect one for you and I'll take a little bit of that money. Goodbye. I like anything where you wake up and you're in control of how much money you make

you're in Ed Benning with the vacuum I will sell this house today I will sell this house yes or Lady Dynamite when her her real estate agent

gets right in her face and kisses her and goes don't fuck with me we will sell this house I love that or like when I watched that show

that Santa Clarita Diet show, they're realtors and like when they're showing a house, they show up and put cookies in the oven and like light a candle. That's what I would do.

Yeah, you would be fucking crazy. You'd be knitting rugs in the bedroom. I'd be parked outside people's houses like, have you made a decision either way on that?

With a gun. Fucking weirdo. I'd be, you would hear me put in the bullet and the revolver. Make people, I would bully people in the buying houses. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, last question, last question. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say to you when you arrive at the pearly gates? Wow, you did it all, didn't you? Yeah. No stone unturned. As he's jerking off looking at my life right then it flashed back before your eyes

oh god now when we said you were gay we didn't know you were gonna really run with it that's my problem that's my parents were like this is your life live it how you want to I was like fuck it I'm gonna live it were they supportive of your career yeah my mom was the first person I called I was like, fuck it. I'm going to live it. Were they supportive of

your career? Yeah. My mom was the first person I called. She was like, just think it over once you do it. Like, uh, there's no coming back, but this is your life and you just, you have to do what you feel like you need to do. What a blessing. I'm just going to go on a limb and say that that's a pretty abnormal response. Yeah. My mom, uh, her dad was murdered when she was 12 shot and killed on the side of the road by a friend and just changed her life drastically. And so growing up, uh, she, you know, didn't graduate high school. She got a GED and she was, I don't, can't probably say that on here, but she, she had it a little bit rougher than anyone. She used to drop me off at school every single day. And she'd say, you don't know what anyone's going through. That could be your mom. That could be

your aunt Nini or your aunt Cree. Yeah. Fucking show up. Don't start a fight. But if someone touches you, you kick them in the balls until there's blood coming out of their mouth. And I will be here to get you. Now,

aunt Cree. Aunt Cree was the one that pets my hand and says that it's ashy and draw all the time. And aunt Nini. Aunt Nini. That's pretty lucky. That's amazing. That's pretty lucky. That's amazing. Yeah, it's very lucky. I was talking earlier,

like my older brother played football in the NFL for the Patriots, the Dallas Cowboys, and the Kansas City Chiefs. And then my younger brother, like is in the, does missionary work, a youth pastor. Down at the Wesley Woods. Yeah, he should be.

The good old Wesley Woods. Now I feel like for drag most parents are either against it or they don't know enough about it to feel one way or the other or they think that it's about sex they don't ask questions yeah i can see that though adult film work is pretty like everyone knows what that is so maybe that's why there would be more of a response right right well i was just kind of shocked too because i'm like damn you really didn't expect anything from me, did you? Sure, go right on into porn.

Oh, she said there's a paycheck. You better take it as long as you can. And don't call me until you got six figures. Click. And you know. And I guess for now, like compared to 15, 20 years ago, when she says it follows you,

compared to, it used to only follow you if someone finds a VHS or something. It's everywhere, yeah. And now it's like forever. Do you ever encounter any, are you married? No. No. Do you ever encounter like any objections from guys like in the dating world?

Oh my God, come on. It's the same for you all. Yeah. Come on. Unfuckable monsters. Especially once you start, yeah, and you start building something that you're wanting to showcase and bring people in to,

or whatever. They just only see that. They don't know that the person behind it, they don't, it's just weird. I found that weird. Yeah. I found that people often,

and this is a little bit true with drag queens, but a lot of times with adult performers is that they kind of assume that you have no boundaries and they're, they can like grab you and kind of like, yeah, just that. Oh, I'm the first to throw a punch.

Really? Please believe. Really? Okay. I have found, maybe this is just unfair, but I have found adult film actors when I meet them, especially guys,

they have like, it's almost like a X factor of warmth and like sexuality, but not in a pervy way where they're comfortable standing close to you. They're comfortable looking you in the eyes. And it is a very

like enchanting. I love that. It's not pervy, but maybe it's because people like, I mean, Boomer, for example, is probably the first people I met where I was like, I barely know him and he'll like stand close to you and look you it's because people like, I mean, boomer, for example, is probably the one first people I met where I was like, I barely know him. And he'll like stand close to you and look you in the eye and like, you know, give you a hug when he meets you.

And I was like, yeah, I guess porn people aren't shook by touching as much. And like, it's kind of a redeeming quality, I think. Cause don't you really leave it all out there. And then in the real world,

you're like, and what most people are scared of showing their ass. I've been showing my ass. I find power in it. I'm like, what are you going to are scared of showing their ass. I've been showing my ass. Literally. I find power in it. I'm like, what are you going to say? I'm a slut. Okay. Like, yeah.

Roll the tapes. Literally. Roll the cameras, dead ass. I mean, you're doing the same thing, bitch, except I'm getting flown to Barcelona, paid for, and I'm getting a check and coming right back. Yeah. Die mad haters. Someone's like, I'm going to fly you over to Europe.

Can you spend three weeks there and I'll make sure you come back with a lot of money and you'll get to have sex with people and you don't even have to get on your grinder

to do it we'll book the people for you to have sex with and free testing yes all that great lighting yeah

and great good lighting thank god you have someone that is there to wipe the dirt off of your foot well at least I always well you showed up well you always ran to work barefoot You have someone that is there to wipe the dirt off of your foot. Well, no dirty feet.

Well, you showed up. You always ran to work barefoot. So he showed up like Mel. Just Mel. Yeah. Mel from nowhere, Texas. He showed up.

Now people always ask us like, I don't know about you, but young drag queens, people are always like, do you have any advice? I say, don't do it. Well,

yes. Don't do drag. Get the fuck out of my house but for people who are here for people who are getting into porn literally it's always somebody after yeah yeah uh people are getting into porn what what's your t on you want to say something no i'm getting into porn oh so this is applicable to me i'm a young struggling woman okay and i just want some from a veteran award critically acclaimed award winning legend. What do you have? Do you have any advice?

Now don't tax yourself because you can't address all the struggles on the couch over here. But what's your like takeaway? I mean like I'm assuming you had some

learn the hard way moments et cetera. Well you know I got into the industry through a Craigslist ad. Wow. Same. Did you?

Oh that was that was the industry that was my industry especially i always uh tell people to just message me privately send me your photos and let me get you in the house of woods and we'll figure it out there you go you put the monocle on you tell me what you want to do and i'm going to find a place for you to monetize what it is you want to do i mean there's people that i'm working with that do foot there's people that do like all sorts of different type fetishes just stockings or just free balling and you never know who these people are yes even yeah amanda in her book she talked about like she worked as a dominatrix never touched a guy just yelled at him that's yeah i'm

going to do i'm gonna have foot and pee but yeah foot and piss maybe just pissing on my feet that is on the feet yeah yes make sure you make sure you show the bottoms of those foots honey yeah always the bottom i've never been to a port award show is it fun is it long because it was always fun for me yeah because you're always snatching trophies miss honey girl she's sweeping what Did you cry when you won awards? Always. You did? Absolutely. Come on.

Well, because, too, like, let's be honest. Like, here I am actually on stage at a porn award show getting an award for, I mean, it's all just so crazy. And then even in a room full of your peers, it's like, fuck, like, y'all see me? Like, I didn't ever feel seen ever. That's so great. Yeah. And in an industry too, where you probably have a lot of like, what am I doing moments? A moment like that is so like, I did that.

Yeah. Especially now that you're retired, you will be able to look back and be like, I did everything. I got paid a lot of money. Everybody's giving me awards. And then I left. Well, and I learned so much. Like I actually took the time to go to like sex expos and like see the

business side of it and like really get in with the people that were the game changers and the movers and the shakers. Like that's what I wanted to do. Like did you do toys or anything? I have not yet done a toy, but you should do it. Stay tuned. Wesley,

you should do a commemorative, especially since you're done for now, you should do it. Stay tuned. Wesley, you should do a commemorative, especially since you're done for now. You should do an action figure. Okay. Like there's a Tom of Finland shit. There's a Tom of Finland doll that's like 16 inches

and he's a big tough guy with a dick. For your like fans who are like you're retiring, sign a bunch of them. Because most people are going to want to miss. Do you know where I can get dolls made?

I don't know anything about that. because most people are going to want to know where I can get dolls made. I don't know anything about that. Yeah. Final, final questions. Final remarks. Um,

I, do you want to let us know where everybody can find you? Yeah. The Wesley woods. Just type it in. So easy. And if you accidentally follow the Christian Bible camp. Honey, I so bad want there to be like when you Google image search Wesley Woods, like prayer circle and me in a circle jerk, right? It's a bunch of links to senior living and Christian stuff.

And then when images pop up, it's all you. Can I touch on one more thing or is it too triggering? Do you remember when you got, Oh yes. That's been such a fucking crazy experience. That's one of the reasons about that. I got jumped here in West Hollywood, jumped in West Hollywood,

coming down a sunset on Crescent Heights, right after that little like temple there. Holy shit. It was fucking wild. And honestly, the trauma and like the PTSDtsd that came from that i'm still battling some some weird shit i mean it would make it so bad and then also like i didn't even want to exist in my persona anymore because i felt too seen and vulnerable and like uh maybe

like in some ways like i mean i had 14 stitches like my lip was hanging on like and it was a homophobic attack this wasn't just america whooping you faggot it wasn't just a Hollywood it was going so bad at one point i literally thought to myself this is not going to end well oh my god oh my god did you lose any teeth or anything i didn't lose any teeth thank god but i will tell you this because i'm such a crazy cunt like i show up to the er to get my lips stitched up and I'm fucking bloody as hell. And I asked the doctor, I'm like, Dr. Demond's stitching it up

a little higher. I've always wanted an upper lip. You better work, queen. You better work, you fucking bitch. You know what? They didn't realize gay bashing me.

Like, it actually made me look gayer and better. And I got this little, like, yeah, and I got scar tissue right there that I can just kind of use like on a dick, like a tongue ring. Like die mad haters. Bam.

And I mean, for you to even post it online too. I mean, did you have a moment of like, should I share with people that this happened or should I say nothing? I didn't think about it, but I knew that I was going to miss a shit ton of work because I was going to have to have time to heal.

This has to change the scene a little bit. You're not the doctor anymore. You're the patient. Give you a little head wrap. The makeup artist has an easy day. That would have been great. Yeah, me too, because I'm not having to suck dick. I'm just like, great, just lay here.

Use my holes. Yeah. But yeah, it was fucking crazy. Like, whatever. It happened. Was your friend okay? Yeah, he was okay. Oh, my God.

Yeah. There's just so many better people that could have happened to. I didn't know if I didn't even know why. Looking back, I'm like, I can't believe I immediately posted something online about it, but we live in a world where we post fucking everything online, I guess.

And oh my God. But do you remember something similar happened to Valentina? No. Do you remember when Valentina was like mugged in West Hollywood? No. It was in the news and stuff. Let me look it up quick. Valentina mugged.

Weeho. Sorry, Valentina was mugging in Weeho. No. No. Man walking with drag performers attacked in West Hollywood. It was during a time. It was Jason King. It was during a time where there's a lot of this happening around here.

I think that was actually during the time. Was it in 2018? Let me look here. It was 2017 King. It was during a time where there's a lot of this happening around here. I think that was actually during the time. Was it in 2018? Let me look here. It was 2017, March 2017. And it was Trinity Taylor, Valentina, and King, Jason King. And they got mugged. That was crazy. What I'm saying is sometimes hearing it happen to someone you know makes it so real.

Well, there's places where we travel to where um you get the sense real quick that is not safe to walk in drag and i remember one of i can't imagine yeah last time i was in scotland there in glasgow um there was the promoter was like i was just i was coming from like touring here in the in the united states where like i just go anywhere do whatever i want and and they're like oh no no we'll take you over and they would not let me go by myself and i was like and when they took me over i was like like, oh, this is why. Because I would get the shit beat out of me. Yes.

Yes. I've been to the same place with it. The hotel's maybe four blocks. And they're like, you're not walking alone. You're not walking alone. And because drunk straight guys will literally just, they'll come right up to your face and fuck with you. Oh, yeah.

You know? In Ireland, I was in drag. That's scary. And I was like, super scary. Antagonist. I was kind of antagonist. The straight guys yelled something and I didn't need to yell something back. And I did.

And Courtney acted with me and she grabbed me and was like, okay, we're leaving. Yeah. Yeah. Because I was like, they called me disgusting. And I was like, that's not what your dad said last night. It was so lame. I'm just like, I should have been beat up. I should have been beat up.

Just with a bad joke. Full sixth grade burn. By the way, professional comedian. Well, you know what else? Your mom. Just terrible. And they said, you know what?

We weren't going to beat the shit out of you, but that punchline sucks. Yeah. You deserve it. Well, thank you for joining us. Thank you all for having me. This was so much fun.

I'm super grateful. Thank you all. All right. That's it. That's it. Beautiful. all right that's it that's it