The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Eating Cheetos on the Floor of the Met Gala with Kelly Mantle and Katya

Episode Date: May 17, 2022

Actor, drag queen, comedian, & musician Kelly Mantle visits Katya in her dark layer of sewing and sequins! They discuss Kelly's experience on the Trixie and Katya Live tour, her ridiculously long IMDb page, and the self-confidence perils of acting alongside genetically-perfect Hollywood a-listers. You can currently see Kelly on the Trixie and Katya Live tour and starring as Sheila on the OUtTv/Amazon Prime sitcom, The Browns. Follow Kelly: @KellyMantle Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be helpful! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Welcome back to The Balls and the Beautiful with me, Katya, and Trixie Mattel. Unfortunately, Trixie has died. So we have a special, a very special guest today. The incomparable, the legendary actress, entertainer, drag queen extraordinaire, Kelly Mantle.

Well, I tried my best to look just like her corpse. Just in case, you know. You've got about 40 pounds to put on, honey. You're a legend and you are currently featured as the riveting, scene-stealing co-star in Trixie and Katya Live. Thank you so much for joining us.

My favorite gig ever. It is genuinely a delight to have you. Oh, thank you. I'm so happy to be here. If you had to recast Sandy, like if you had to have an understudy that you could pick anybody in the world from Porkchop to Jodie Foster,

but if you had to choose Sandy's understudy, who would it be? Joan Rivers. Perfect. Joan Rivers. I would bring her back from the dead and I would not let her be the understudy. I would bring her back from the dead and I would I would not let her be the understudy I would just give it to her because you all would probably prefer

that actually Joan over Kelly Mantle sure yeah but I mean I kind of based the character a little bit on I mean because I fucking oh she's so funny Jesus Christ she has a bit where she's like on all of her late night bits with David Letterman are so funny. And she said in one show, like she shows him how to like talk regularly and then how to talk sexy. And it's all in the tongue. And she's like, she said Michelle Pfeiffer

taught her that in the 90s. So funny. And you know that's a lie. Michelle Pfeiffer. Michelle Pfeiffer sitting at home going, I didn't teach you. We started this podcast beauty focused. And then now we just talk about air conditioning. Y'all started this beauty focused? Yeah.

Well, the bald and the beautiful. It's supposed to be about like makeup and beauty. Oh, that's so cool. I didn't know that. I think it lasted maybe half of an episode. And then we just complain about air conditioning and retell the same stories about sex and whatever. about air conditioning and retell the same stories about sex and whatever um but uh i found oh my window in drag my window of freshness is is shrinking so it's mine six hours yeah six hours to me i was like oh i think i have about three hours of like a fresh window in drag for music

especially like music videos you said you had hair like a wind machine in your face i'm doing this for a friend but yeah i you know i don't do the whole fierce thing well that's why that's why i've kind of turned to just playing like these really like you know uh these uh cis women that are just kind of like on the outskirts of like insanity i like that too i that's how i see myself in drag. I don't see myself as like a fierce drag diva. It's too much work. Too much responsibility. I can't do all that.

It's way too much responsibility. I can't cinch and do, yeah, it's too much. Yeah, I was trying to, I am currently trying to figure out a way to like widen my hip pad so that I can, that I don't have to cinch so much because even at like, I'm not fat at all don't have to cinch so much because yeah even at like I'm not fat no at all you have an awesome body are you kidding I'm very I'm quite thin but when I put

the drag on it all this like I'll turn to the side and I just see with the hot dog legs and it's like you get no no no no you just get pummeled by the unreasonable expectations of womanhood. That's why I just prefer to be like regular woman number three. Regular woman number three. But you are hardly regular woman number three. Your body is like architecture. It's so chiseled. Like the Giza pyramids.

Yeah, no, it really, you know, and it fits. It fits caught together. Cause it's just so, you know, like I want to see you in like one of those, like, those, what are those muscle? Men's fitness? But not the women's. Oh, wow. Where you're all like orange tans and like gloss.

Oh, fitness competition. Yes. Do you know they wear the. I want to see that. Oh, those get fierce. They wear the clear blue side heels often in those fitness competitions. The pleasers. Yeah, they do actually wear like the,

um, the ones that Trixie wears actually a little bit higher heel than she wears. Um, I would love to be a female body. Oh my God. That would be fucking amazing. Like to get breast implants, but then have pecs underneath them built up so much that they just look like,

I don't even think they have breast anymore. Do they? Most of the women just have pecs. A lot of them do get implants, but there's a whole range. Oh yeah, it's very blurry. Very blurry, very blurry. Have you ever played sports,

seeing that you are the niece of, and this is a great segue, right? Which sports do you play? Have you ever played sports? Have you ever seen a gladiator movies the corner receiver no i never played well i did actually it was horrible because my daddy was the high school football coach on top of my uncle being mic Mantle. But don't gloss over that. I thought that was like,

I thought that was like a not true fact. I thought it was like way too crazy to be true. For the longest time that I was like, oh, Mickey, it's like, oh, she's Mickey Mantle's daughter or niece or whatever. It's like, you are. I really am. You actually are.

He was my daddy's big brother. Yeah. If you've ever, if you're over 30 and you know what a baseball card is, Mickey Mantle is like, I know who Mickey Mantle is. Google Mickey Mantle. He's actually really hot. I don't know if it's okay for me to say that or not, but he's actually like super hot.

You can't say that. But no, yeah, he was my dad's big brother that grew up in Oklahoma and he played for the New York Yankees. You know, the crazy thing is he's like this American icon. He's mentioned up there with Uncle Sam and Apple Pie and Jesus Christ. In New York City. Yeah, Mickey Mantle. Yeah.

Yeah. And so, yeah, just like him, I was a switch hitter too. Of course. First string. Huge batting average. Huge batting average. Timeless home runs well you know

and and it's a short stop short do you know anything I have no idea do you know anything no and that was the thing

is growing up in Oklahoma my brother my older brother was this big all-star athlete and so everyone would always believe him when he'd say

I'm you know related to Mickey Mantle but whenever I would say they'd be like what was his batting average in 1960? And I'm like, I don't fucking know. But you know he smelled like shit, because he's your uncle.

I hope he did. Like personal details. Did you know, like, what was he like? He was, he was amazing. He was a drinker, a big drinker. Yeah, real big drinker. Real big drinker and womanizer. I really liked him though.

I really did. You know, I loved going places with him because it was always just mayhem. You know, it was just like people just like, you know. That's crazy. Kind of like you and Trixie. Yeah, it was just people just swarming. Yeah, they won our basically trading our cards i mean we are like little actually drag racers

kind of are like um uh based kind of like athletes in a way like famous athletes because famous to people who know but not at all to people who don't who don't exactly but very famous to people who know yeah and then like you have your mvps and all that Hall of Famers and stuff. I always love imagining in my mind, like, you know, the like NASCAR guys that's like Googling drag race, you know, because drag race is a sport. And then like seeing like Katya and Trixie and Bianca D'Oro.

They're like, this is the future that liberals wanted. Yeah, yeah. Well, I actually, before drag race started, I was in college and I thought it would be really, I was going to do like, I was like so like artsy. I wanted to do like a whole day long durational performance piece where people were in drag on like a field and they were getting dragged by like other people just like really slowly

and call it Drag Race. Wait, would one of the drag queens be dragging the other one? Yeah. But slowly, incrementally. How come I just had a flash of ginger men just pulling someone? Sweating. Like a tractor. Yeah.

And then just unconscious drag queens in full pageant drag just getting dragged along the field. And they just have handheld fans. Yeah. I thought it'd be great. It would be just as exciting as how Drag Race is now. Do you still watch the show? Sometimes.

Do you? Not really. No. Listen, you know, well, I can't keep up. That's the thing. I'm trying to keep up. There's so many.

There's so many. I mean, and this last season was like, I mean, what, 28 episodes long or something like that. I mean, when they said, yeah, we I mean, and this last season was like, I mean, what, 28 episodes long or something like that. I mean, when they said, yeah, we're going to give them $150,000, I said, yeah, I'll throw in the extra 50 for them. They finally upped the. They finally upped it.

But I mean, you know, they were on TV longer than our first leg of our tour was. No shit. Yes. It is crazy. Now I'm thinking like, I remember being on the show, like, you do an episode in usually two days. And, like, it is, I made it almost to the end, but, like, except for maybe an episode or two. And that felt like forever. I can't imagine these girls being on there for that long.

I know. That's inexpensive. Oh, honey, I can't imagine being on more than one episode. There you go. Some people are in it to win it't I'm in it for a minute? Thank you. But that's better than two or three. Well, it really is.

I think so. It really is because, you know, people always remember the winner and the person who went home first. Yes, exactly. So, I mean, at least you're memorable. Beginning and end. And then you have the added benefit of mystique. Yes. You know, like, what could have happened?

You know what I mean? I am from Chicago. Okay, mystique. I have to ask, like what could have happened? You know what I mean? I am from Chicago. Okay, mystique. I have to ask you, would you ever go back? You mean to like an all-stars or like an early out all-stars?

Any, any, any other iteration of the show. Like they do all types of competitions. Only if they promise to send me home first again. Oh, that's fierce. Girl,

I want to go home first on a first out season. Double first. That's like, you can't get more number one than that. You cannot get, I will over Rain Port Shop at that point. Go home first on a first out season. And that's my, yeah. Your whole there's a mama. I did it first.

I did it first. I went home first on a first out season and that's my your whole there's a mama i did it first i did it first i went home first first out season that is literally number one it's not like you don't want to like be the last hag standing girl you want to be the freshest one too much responsibility for me i cannot i don't even have that many outfits no no that's the stress of that i don't have i just don't even know what i do the stress of i think about like going back and i get would you go back no i because i no no no not to compete because it's just like i i get stuck around the the the time and preparation of of what you have to bring well is it weird it weird to say, cause I am not a competitive person at all. Me neither.

And, and, you know, that's such a weird thing to say for someone who went on. Not really. I forgot it was that. Does that make any sense? Yes, it makes a hundred percent. I completely forgot I was supposed to be competing. Like I got so in my head that I was like,

oh, wait a minute. Yeah. This is a competition. And when we're standing on the runway and you're being, you know, like you get to stay and sashay away. I was like, oh, I forgot yeah this is a competition and when we're standing on the runway and you're being you know like you get to stay and sashay away i was like oh i forgot about this no i i completely relate i did the whole time too because i wasn't competitive at like my drag gigs or you know in the dressing room or i was never involved in like fights or like it was never adversarial in any way no we're just like all just a bunch of whores trying to make money. Exactly.

And have fun. And to party and to drink and have a good time. Yeah. All of it. And pick up hot boys afterwards. And blow them in the dressing room. Fuck yeah. Or in the alley.

You know, have you ever... Actually, I think that's what's maybe missing from Drag Race. I don't want to see a drag queen. I'm blowing them in the alley. The blonde boys in the alley? Yeah, the spirit of that. I will go back on if that's a challenge because I will win that challenge.

I knew. So there was a show in Boston. This was long before I was on Drag Race. We went afterwards to a bar and there was this trans woman who was so, I mean, she was an Ivy League educated. I think she was a professor. And, but she was, she ran a little late.

She came in and joined us because she was blowing a man in an alley. And I was like that. And she's not no gutter slut or whatever, you know, which is fine too. But she was like, it was, and she wasn't even a showgirl, but she was like it was um and she wasn't even a showgirl but she was like a part of this like cast of um just very colorful characters and who all had like drag at the center of their like you know their group and it was just like that's that kind of edge i feel like is what is missing from drag race it's it's very like um you know it's very like wholesome it's become very i mean there's fisting jokes but still but which is good but like yeah

you know it's like um it's all about healing drag is a healing tool yeah heal the world yeah which is strange because for me drag hurts well it's painful you know I mean yeah I mean listen I mean you know yeah it's it's kind of become this, I don't know, this segue into discussing mental health and stuff, you know, and I embrace my mental health, you know, I mean, that's one of the reasons why I probably became a drag queen, my mental health issues, you know, so it's like, I'm totally, yeah, I mean, I'm a full on gutter slut. So I, it's, I'm a full on gutter slut. So I'm not very mainstream. I've always enjoyed being on the outskirts of the mainstream.

And so that's why going home first for me was such a, I don't know, it was hilarious. It was so perfect. So perfect. to you and your business, easily track those business expenses, and experience flexible Aventura rewards, you'll realize how much more rewarding your hustle can be. Get up to $1,800 in value when you apply for the CIBC Aventura Visa for Business at cibc.com slash aventurabusiness. Terms and conditions apply. Looking for a path to accelerate your career? Clear direction for next-level success? In a place that is innovative and practical? A path to stay current and connected to industry? A place where you can be yourself? You will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies,

where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue.yorku.ca. built for you. Visit continue.yorku.ca. You're, you were actually one of the few, uh, queens who actually has like talent, you know, you know what I mean? Like, like, I mean, a lot of times drag is just drag is itself a talent, like, you know, the makeup, the hair, all this stuff, but you were like an actor, you're a singer. Um, well, I think that's it, you know, cause I had confidence going into it that, you know, I would slay the acting challenges and music challenges and stand up comedy and roasting and snatch game and all that stuff. But what I can't do is I'm not a good fashion queen and I'm not a good runway model and I'm not and I can't sew. And so, you know, you put those elements together

and I kind of, you know, it's one of those things where it's like when they say, you know, hey, can you know when you go to an audition, can you, you a russian accent i'm like yes and then you go home and you're like google how the fuck to do the russian accent you just figure it out real quick right so it's kind of the same thing i was like sure i can so i can do all this no problem yeah well obviously it was a huge problem yeah but that's not reflective of all of the other talents that a person possesses if you can't you know so yeah it was but that's what I mean though, is to me, it was, I live for that kind of a surreal, I don't know, out of skirts, out of the mainstream experience like that, you know,

I kind of live for that. I do too. I talking about a surreal out of experience. I've recently, I guess I've seen it before, but we watched it again three times. A clip of you, what the fuck is it? What is it from?

It's the court, when you storm into a courtroom and then murder. Oh, Eagle Heart. Eagle Heart. Yes. What the fuck? What?

Oh my God. So, it's on, it's from an acting reel. I think you can see it on my Instagram. Yes, and we can see it on your website too.

So you go to kellymantle.com, I think you can see it, right? Yeah. Yeah. It is so incredible. When you say, when he, what are you? And you say, the last thing you'll see before you get completely assassinated. Completely assassinated. Not just like completely assassinated. Completely assassinated. Not just like partially assassinated,

but completely assassinated. Completely, completely assassinated. Totally irrevocably assassinated. Assassinated. Yeah. For even questioning my gender. It is, it is, it is, it is, I don't even know. It's like, David, it's very Lynchian. Oh my gender. It is, it is, it is, it is, I don't even know,

it's like, David, it's very Lynchian. Oh my God. It's very Lynchian. One of my favorite filmmakers ever, Wild at Heart's like my favorite movie

in the whole world. That, you, that character, that whole scene is straight out of a David Lynch movie. What was that?

What is it? It's a TV show. It's from Swim, the adult cartoon network, remember Swim? And they had like General Hospital. They had all these amazing shows. And Eagle Heart was one of the shows that wasn't an animated show.

And I was actually, I had never heard of it before I went to audition for it. But then when I went to audition for it, I saw some episodes of it and I fell in love with it immediately. And so when I got it. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Full on comedy. Yeah. Okay.

Completely absurd. Like talk about absurdist surreal theater. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Full on comedy. Yeah. Okay. Completely absurd. Like talk about absurdist surreal theater. Yeah. Like completely absurd. And my character was this gender non-binary. And this was even kind of before the whole non-binary term came into existence. Yeah. When and how long ago was it?

It was like a couple of years probably before all of that happened, you know. But I've always lived in that for me, you know, even like way pre-drag race, you know, I've always kind of existed under the trans umbrella and one of my, you know, I always used to call myself a gender bender. And so for me to get this role, I was like, oh, this is so cool because, you know, I've always felt kind of middle of the line, you know,

kind of in that gray area. And so, you know, go sit in the men's section, the women's section. I mean, that had been the story my whole life, you know. And so I've always wanted to kind of blow someone up, you know. You pull out an Uzi. Yes. And then the best part, which you don't see in that clip, later in the episode, I get blown up.

Yes, because I try to like storm the security and everything, trying to leave the courthouse and then I get blown up. And so that was like one of my favorite acting gigs ever because they put all these wires on you and you literally have one shot at it. Like it's one take because you know, the blood has to come out and your costume is ruined at that point. So you literally have one shot.

There's no resetting. Yeah. And so I was like, this is so cool. I felt like, you know, Tamelia Cruz or something, you know, just like running through the. I felt like, like, you know, Tamilia Cruz or something, you know, just like running through the thing. It is the face. You just,

it's the ultra deadpan. And the delivery is so perfect. Like, um, they, you know, they're like, you go to the men's,

there's the men's queue or the women's queue. And it, I feel like my constitutional right. And then when he lets you go through the, without patting you down, you just, the death stare. It's so insane. And it when he lets you go through without patting you down, you just, the death stare. It's so insane. And isn't that like, I mean,

and all of us that kind of identify as they, them, can certainly relate to that at any TSA moment. I just went through the TSA just this weekend in Indianapolis and had to go through a whole like, what are your pronouns and who do you prefer? You know, and it was something, yeah. And how did that play out? Are they sensitive or diplomatic? Well, actually, yeah or diplomatic they really were they were really great about it

in indianapolis i have to say i was kind of pleasantly surprised more so than other places like lax or you know new york where you would expect them to be and they're not so no they just hurled they just throw rocks at you no matter what your gender is exactly i i'm i'm assuming or i would assume that the tsa has pretty like extensive protocols these days on how to uh sensitively yeah i mean it's just all it just seems like a bureaucratic nightmare that whole thing it is that was a fun gig that was so fun i that is like a dream gig oh my god how long was it one day no it was like a whole week it was like a week oh and then the greatest thing was then they went off.

I don't know if it was that season or I think it was like the season after that. Well, it's not the greatest thing, but they ended. Their show ended. They had all their guest stars from every single episode come back to shoot a finale. So we were all sitting in the audience. Oh, yeah. It was fucking amazing. I was like, this show is so cool.

I have to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go watch this fucking show. Go binge watch Eagle Heart. I think it's available on streaming services. All the only fans that these cable companies have. Whatever. It's so cool. What has been your favorite and your least favorite acting gigs?

My favorite and my least favorite? Yeah. Oh, gosh. You mean like TV and film or theater because tv and film tv and film um well i have to say sheila sheila is i mean sheila is my favorite so i mean that's my heart definitely but sheila from the browns is like that's why we wanted you so badly to do to do our show our live show because it's just so funny i love that thank you yeah i love sheila and i love

i mean obviously working with tammy you know and sean mark yeah fucking incredible but and page and everyone involved with him but yeah i love sheila she was like my hero because she can say anything and totally get away with it it doesn't even fucking matter so but there's a fucking line there's like um um she leaves her and sometimes her invisalign gets stuck in my vagina there's like all these like little things like there's all these little fun i mean she's hysterical see that's the great thing is i the reason i love doing the browns is we kind of do it like a christopher guest movie everything is or or curb your enthusiasm which was another great gig i got to work with larry David. Are you fucking serious? Yes. Oh my God.

It was incredible. Oh my gosh. It was, I don't even remember what season it was, but yeah, I was standing in line with, for the bathroom with Larry David. And literally,

I mean the, even the audition, when I got to the audition, there's no signs. They give you a piece of paper and it says, you're standing in line waiting for the bathroom with Larry David. And then they call you into the audition. Larry is there.

I was like, okay, I was not expecting this. And then you have to improvise. And then everything you did at the audition, leave that alone because you're going to improvise again the day on the set. Oh, it was incredible. I was like, this is insane. Do you love improvising? Oh my God, my favorite.

Okay. It's my favorite thing to do. I mean, I love improvising and I love, I'm a writer. I'm a writer at heart. I'm a huge writer. Acting and writing, two very different skills. Very different. Very different skills.

But I love taking a script. I love taking ideas. And I love working with people that are open to someone coming in and kind of just, you know, and like, yeah, that's what we do with the Browns is that John Mark will come up with like a skeleton of the scene and say, okay, well, this is going to happen. And then we get to, um, improvise and sometimes, you know, I'll come up with ideas like, oh, this would be a great line here or there, you know, and that's where like the Invisalign came up, you know, is, um, Sheila talking about her, her lesbian lover, Mercy, you know, when sheila talking about her her lesbian love her mercy you know when tammy

first finds out about her she's like well i see her with a woman and i said she's very nice even though her invisalign gets stuck in my vagina from time to time you know you know and those little things will come to you when your spirit moves it and you're like well i need to add that to the script so so larry david what so what wait you don't remember what we'll look it up later um because i recently watched all of her yeah and um i i i'm experiencing some um pretty significant memory loss as of late though which is concerning i don't know i mean i just i forget things all the time so it's not surprising that i can't remember but um he was nice.

Oh my God. Amazing. Really? Amazing. So warm. So welcoming. Everyone on that set was, you know. I'm obsessed with Susie Essman, who plays Susie Green.

Oh, yeah. She all just hurled F-bombs at everybody. F-bombs. I know. I'm obsessed. She's so fucking funny. Is it still on? Yes.

It's, well, it just. Because they're getting ready to start. I read somewhere where it was either, yeah, it was still on or on or something they just i think they just did their 11th season and recently i've i've watched every episode like it's it's so good yeah it's so good it's oh my god now that is like my that's my first love is improv and writing and stuff i mean i studied at second city in chicago and that's why i just yeah i live for that like and we too yeah i mean in tricksy and katya live i mean the three of us on stage every night. Between me not remembering a single line.

Well, but it's fucking hilarious. When people ask, like, what's your favorite part of the show? Of course, I love doing Rose's turn, but it's honestly when the three of us just lose it and just go off into these, like, tansions. I have to try to be so, like, we have all of, I love your scenes because they're all so, like, when the three of us are together, that's the most anybody's ever interacting with like dialogue wise on you know

mostly it's just it's either one two or three and it's rarely three and so when we're all there there's like um and there's a moment when you're in your first scene where like you guys are having a thing and i'm kind of off to the side and i feel left out so i'm like hi i want to act too it's just like i don't know i think she said that one night she's like katya needs to feel included yeah i'm like i love how you two are just constantly but um you're right i mean i agree with you the funnest thing about that show is like the mistakes but i have to stay conscious of like the mistakes are only mistakes if you do do something good like do you know what i mean you have to like perform something in order to make

correctly in order to make a mistake in order to make the mistake there has to be some contrast um but yeah i love it i mean what you want to come up with i mean this is a theatric experience it's wild you who have seen it no and for those of you who have seen it, know, and for those of you who are going to see it, you have no idea what you're in tune for. It is so wild. I think it's like,

we've gotten like really great feedback. I, you know, I always expect and I expected for this, like, a fair amount of like, hate or criticism

just because we tend to be popular. And anybody who's popular, like, you know, you get that pushback. You're like, oh, they're overrated, whatever, whatever. And that's like all that stuff happens. Isn't that crazy? No, I don't think it's.

I totally get it. I mean, because I'll look at, like, someone, a popular pop star, and be like, ugh. Well, that's true. You know, you think about it. Like, oh, they're actually not that talented. But who cares? Right.

But we have gotten great, like I'm actually concerned about doing a really good show. And I think the show is entertaining. Yeah, that's what I mean. I mean, literally you all are, I've said this a million times, but I think Trixie and Kati are like the Beatles of drag. I mean, your fans are fucking amazing.

Their energy and their- They are, and Nick, our our merch guy he said almost every night when i would get on the bus and see him he would he was like he could not believe how nice all the customers at the merch line were and he says everyone cool everyone yeah like from the very first one to the very last one at that very end of the line at the end of the night was so polite, so nice, and patient. That's like so rare. No, it really is. That's so rare.

Both of your energies, you know, are going to gravitate toward people like that. But that's what I mean is that you all could literally go out on stage and read the Farmer's Almanac. I don't even know what that is. That's what we're going to do on the second leg. Yes, well, I hope so. I mean, I would only hope that you would read the Far farmer's almanac yeah and they would scream for two hours so the fact that you all have created this amazing theatric experience is just like yeah it helps when the bar is set in the very low like in the basement because then all you gotta do is bring it up to

the ground floor yeah what does sandy say i don't even remember Sandy's voice how did Sandy sound oh my god you look like two I'm gonna bring you out of the basement there she is I had to find her I completely lost Cheryl Canning I can't do it she's Cheryl Canning I completely lost her

Victorian boys with typhoid look I can't remember she's on vacation but there's uh it's funny because like i was i was also afraid that the the show would get like with a scripted show i don't i was like oh my god every night's gonna get so dull and um but i i kind of like i didn't have to trick myself much into making it fresh because it was just it pretty much was always it was always received pretty well but it always felt kind of like fresh yeah it

never felt really dull and it moves so quick like move so fast so fast so fast I mean I thought you know like oh my god we're on like show seven and they're like no you're on show like 20 like oh how did that even happen and yeah every night was different yeah every night was, sometimes we had a carpet for stage. Oh my God. Where was that? LA. Oh my God. The theater.

I hate that theater. Can someone please? I'm sorry. I have to say it. Say it. I hate that theater. I do too. It sucks.

I hate the ace fucking theater. And can I tell you, that was the place where we held our reunion for season six. And it just brings back nightmares for me. I think we were there too as well. No. And then didn't it flood downstairs? We, oh my God, you and I were right next door to each other and we got flooded out of our dressing rooms.

Oh, how about this? How about this? I noticed some water, like a lot of water, rushing through the door of my shitty dressing room. Girl, it was like the Titanic. And then it was shitty water. It was super, it was like. Is that what it was? Yeah, it was like. It stayed in my dressing room girl and then it was shitty water it was super it was like is that

what it was yeah oh my god i stayed in my dressing room you were knee deep in shitty sewage water well it didn't come into my dressing oh no it came into mine and i like we opened the door and it's the hallways flooded and i was like work i know i saw i saw eden in the hallway and eden was literally like girl like that's all she said i I was like, this is a fucking nightmare. We got carpet. We got shitty water. What else? And although I did get to meet Lisa Vanderpump that night. Well, yes, I did too. And I fucking, with her dog. I love that she brings her dog to the theater.

Her dog is a diva. It's so cute. Oh my God. She was astonishingly gorgeous. Oh my God. Astonishing astonishingly gorgeous. Oh my God. Astonishingly gorgeous. She was really breathtaking. I had met her once. Actually, I met her once before at, who was the one that was married to the plastic surgeon?

Anyway, she had a party in Cocoa Peru and I went to it together and I met Lisa at that. And I remember thinking that night, your cleavage is so fucking great. And then I remembered the show there there at la and she's in her she's in her 60s um if she's whatever yank she's had is so so well done and she does her own hair and makeup does she yeah her makeup was beautiful i mean she looked fantastic yeah she was very funny and cool oh my god very funny and cool so cool yeah i love that her and trixie are like

bffs i mean it's like know, and actual friends, too. Not just like, here's my billionaire friend. No, totally. Just because she's rich or whatever. It makes perfect sense. Yeah, yeah. It does. Ooh, are these wine glasses crystal?

I didn't know HomeSense had such a nice glassware. Hon, wouldn't these be perfect for guests? Did you say crystal? Who do you think is coming over? Well, they're only $20. $20? For a whole set? Forget the guests.

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we're ready for you. Visit td.com slash smallbusinessmatch to book an appointment with one of our advisors. At the Met Gala last night, I saw an interview with Gwen Stefani. She did her own makeup because her makeup artist at the last minute had an emergency come over.

Died. Her makeup artist died at the last moment. And she still showed up in neon green, sporting a wonderful makeup job. Sandy's got to do red carpet commentary. Yes, girl. Oh, my God. Like Joan Rivers. Yeah, like Joan Rivers.

Oh, you look awful. You look horrible. What are you wearing? You look like a dirty tampon. I got full of evil in here in the studio last night when we were on Twitter looking at the Met Gala. What was it? Gilded Glamour?

Gilded Glamour. Gilded Glamour, darling. I don't even know what the fuck that means. Well, like the Gilded Age. And I was, so I expect everybody to show up from like, have you seen the Gilded Age? The HBO show? No, I haven't.

No, but I did google what it all meant so i understand it now but it's crazy they all it was just a dog show and i get i get so and people get so unreasonably upset about fashion which i love because they get furious in furious vile no i love that i know like she's awful. She looks like shit. She's disgusting. She should die. Trust me. I know. When I wore that bacon dress, I got death threats. Which, by the way, is kind of cute.

It's not ugly. But I'm telling you, people get passionate about that shit. Oh, they need to get a life. I'm serious. They're like, I'm going to fucking kill you. But you looked good. You actually looked cute. What the hell?

Yeah. It was no Amy Schumer at the Met Gala. Someone on Twitter said that she looked like someone who was rescued from a gas leak. Who, Amy Schumer? She's wearing like a coat dress that was like asymmetric and off the shoulder kind of. And like a tuxedo coat dress with like with black sunglasses. And that's it. And that's it. And that's it.

And it was, she looks so awkward and so uncomfortable and so bizarrely out of place. Why is she even there? Yeah, that's the thing. Why is she even there? She's a comedian. I mean, if you are going to show up to the Met Gala as a comedian, then you make fun of it.

Famously unglamorous. You know what I mean? Like that's her, like that's your image. Not glamorous, no lips. Like her mouth is in, like being sucked into her face rather than the hollywood i just want to wear like a cristiano ronaldo valentino cristiano ronaldo valentino honey and i just want to crawl across the carpet and just eat cheetos you know like i'm like oh my god anna

wintour would hate me she'd throw me out in a minute yeah i mean that's what i want to do at the met everybody looked like shit well everybody looked like they deserve it for even trying to show up and not look like shit you know i mean i loved my twitter feed it was literally like you know met gala kim kardashian wearing marilyn monroe and then they're taking abortion away i mean it's just like i can can't. It's too much. It's like, oh, this is the perfect smoke screen. Get people riled up about fashion to realize that they're taking women's rights away.

That's when they're going to go in and just strip Roe versus Wade right out from under you. We won't have stopped screaming about the Kardashians to realize that you can't get an abortion anymore. You can't get an abortion anymore. Oh, my God. And then what did Kylie showed up in? A wedding dress with a baseball cap and a veil, a backwards baseball cap and a veil.

Rotten. I mean, it makes perfect sense to me. Yeah. All of them looked rotten. And then one of the stupid, like, you know, I don't know, one of the celebrity, like, E! Network or whatever, their Twitter, their social media person used the term keit to refer to like you know brangelina um like a combination of pete and kim oh i think they should just call them pimberly pimberly i like that pimberly what is it pimberly david dashian yeah pimberly car davidson pimberly carDavidson. That's a great track name, actually.

Yeah, Pimberley Carr-Davidson of the Philadelphia Carr-Davidson. Pimberley Carr-Davidson, ladies and gentlemen. And then Billie Eilish's full name is William Jefferson Rutherford Eilish. Yes. I love Billie Eilish. She looked a mess. She always looks a mess. No, she does.

She frequently looks cool. Does she? I mean, yeah, I don't know. But she looked a mess. No, she does. She frequently looks cool. Does she? I mean, yeah, I don't know. But she looked a mess on the, and she hadn't taken, it looks like she was just doing her first pass at posing in the bedroom mirror, like practicing. Cause she was like doing this weird, crazy, like, I hope she has hairy armpits.

I need Billie Eilish to have hairy armpits. How do you, what's your stance? I have hairy armpits right now. Oh, you you what's your stance I have airy armpits right now oh you do see I don't and I'm very I'm

I mean when I say hairy I haven't shaved in like two days so it's just a little stubble but you know does it does it visit do you get

perturbed when you see a woman like a glamour no I love it you do oh my god I grew up idolizing Ani DiFranco I mean like

yeah I'll shoot hairy armpits, combat boots. It can be very divisive. Oh, I love it. Lourdes. Have you seen Lourdes?

I have in the video for Madonna's Madame X show in Frozen. She had visibly hairy armpits. Hairy armpits. And Madonna used to have hairy armpits back in the day. I think it's important.

I think it's, I think it's wonderful. And I hate it though. I'm very brainwashed, but I've always been that way. I don't like hairy humberts on guys oh really yeah i don't like about anybody no because i don't like hair in general no no from here down because i grew up reading anne rice novels where everybody was hairless and bisexual that was the idea just a vampire yes they're like they have perfectly porcelain cold smooth skin they look dead dead like either

gray or like luminous and then you had no hair and then were bisexual they're yeah that was the ideal for me it still kind of is when you do finally die i think she's probably going to take your corpse and she's going to scotch tape some like cubic hair oh to your armpit that's that's when i will reanimate and then I will come back to life. If they bury me like this with hairy armpits, I will never die. Oh my god. We will totally do that.

Aren't you dying at 55? It's like, what, 15 years from now? Oh, 55. God, that's so long from now. What does the show say? 55? That's so long from now. It's 15 years. You just turned 40 happy birthday thank you very much um yeah so you've crossed the threshold of 40 sorry to out you

sorry to out you're very bold assuming that i cross the threshold how do you know as my employer You know, as my employer. You fucking bitch. You better keep your mouth shut. You'll die before 455 if you start releasing my W-2. I think it's so funny. That's so funny when people get like, when they won't reveal their age. As if it's not public record. I'm older than Cher.

Do you know what I mean? No, like, but everybody knows. If you're famous or in the public, that is usually accessible knowledge. That's an accessible fact, like your birth date. So I think it's really funny when people get all riled up about their actual age. I do too. I would never get riled up about my actual age.

No, I get riled up about whether I look... If I look horrible and someone points it out, they'll be like, I'll get riled up. The problem is I feel like a 13-year-old girl. And so that's why I have a hard time kind of accepting where I'm really at. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm like, I still think of myself

as like a 13-year-old girl. I don't think of myself really having age because I don't do, I'm... Well, that's true. I do feel ageless. I mean, yeah. It's one of those things like... It's such a number.

It is, but I mean, you can't deny that certain numbers do like come with a certain responsibility and expectation, you know? Well, yeah. Like 40, I feel like you are, it's your last chance to be an adult. This is true. Well, yeah, this is true. 50, you're like, this is your last chance to be alive. Yeah.

And then 60, good luck. I mean, it's this right here. Oh, don't give me. That's the only time I ever think about the number because I'm all like, oh,

oh, and then oh. But that started way before 40 for me. Like the visible reckoning. Well, it did me too.

It was all my drugs, the drugs I did and all of the alcohol and everything. Yeah. So that'll do it to you. But I mean, drag is,

these kids now, they're doing, they're starting, their sketchbooks like are their faces. So that'll do it to you. But I mean, drag is, these kids now, they're doing, they're starting, their sketchbooks are their faces. So they're like 13, 14 years old experimenting with drag

on a, like, I wouldn't say clear because sometimes they have acne, you know, but like young little kid faces.

I never did that. Do you know, like, did you ever do makeup like when you were young, young, young? I still don't. I don't even know how to do makeup. I still don't even did you ever do makeup like when you were young young young i still don't i don't even know how to do makeup i still don't even know like i i didn't i didn't start drag

until i was like 25 like performing professionally yeah and no i mean i always tried to do you know like dress up like boy george okay sure yeah i mean i did dress up and stuff too yeah like i used that like i used like spray makeup. Okay. Where you would just like put a spray tan on and call it makeup. But no, yeah, I mean, kids today with the makeup and the YouTube and the internet and everything. All that stuff. Obviously, they're going to be much more advanced. Well, not all the tools, but they have all, it's much easier.

I looked up a picture, and I'm going to show you, of me when I was, I must have been 20, around 27, and I look like I'm Oh my god. Can you all show this? Can you see? It's the hair, though, girl. It's a lot of things. Oh my god. It's the hair, the garage door. Christmas ornaments. Yes. It's the garage door.

It's the garage door. It's the thin, villainous lips. The garage doors. How old were you here? Well, I look about 45, but I'm 27. You're 27. Yeah. And isn't that amazing because you do look younger in hair and makeup now than you do there.

It's chilling. I know, but I noticed that too. I was watching something popped up on TV the other night. I was in years and years and years ago and I was like, I feel like I look younger now than I did then. I think it's just because we've gotten to know how to do makeup. Yeah. It's just trial and error. And unfortunately, like the canvas degrades as the skill set, you know, increases. I mean, I'm kind of on this trajectory where I'm, well, I'm probably destined, but I'm almost at this point determined to just play women that are completely messy and

just have lipstick stuck on their teeth all the time and you don't even want to tell them they do because it's just going to end up back on their teeth. Exactly. And that's such a relief because I tried for so long to be hot and sexy and all these things and I'm like girl. Who has the time? I can't even do that. Who has the time? It's so stressful. I you think about like those moments and um you know the moments when like a woman is like breathtakingly beautiful on film or on tv are so stressful and there's so much going on behind the scenes right up to that point and to get there and then it's so fraught with tension and stress and like discomfort you want to be the drunk aunt who falls over and has her pussy out on

the floor like that's what you really want. Cause you can do that. Take five, six, seven, eight, nine times. It just keeps getting better. Yes.

But not the like, Oh, that kind of like fragile, gorgeous, perfect beauty. Like good luck, bitch. Oh,

leave it to the violet. I mean, I'm really good at doing it in like the bedroom, you know, when the lights are really dim and I have a pillow over my head, but it's like, if I have to do it on camera, I can't do that anymore. It's too much work.

I did that Modern Family with Sofia Vargas Llaga. And I tell you, just watching her be Sofia Vargas Llaga the whole time. It's so much work. It's exhausting. It's exhausting. And so by that point, I just like took a makeup white and just did this to my face. And I was like, I just want to look ugly next to her. Because what am I gonna do when you're standing next to Sophia Barger-Brogiaga? Barger-Brogiaga over the head. Yeah. She is

Also, she's married to Joe Mangana. Is she? Oh the baseball player? No the actor. two like the two like super hot sex pot people i wonder what their sex is like effortlessly oh i don't know there's a lot of effort that goes into him well he's like jacked that's oh yeah is he oh he's a huge to work out a lot like big muscle muscle queen i mean what must that be like to wake up like that every day? I know, not from firsthand experience, but I know enough hot people to know that they're not satisfied. No, they're not. Like, it's nice to be able. Is that what Trixie tells you? Yeah, right.

Well, as a hot person. No, she's like, I mean, I have a lot of, I look around and like, if I'm out with a group of friends, it's usually porn, porn people. I have this like, the booty, like, there's like fat ass, like young porn people. And I'm like, how did this happen? Like six, seven, like porn stars in their late twenties who are very gorgeous with incredible bodies and various amounts of augmentation. Some, you know, and they, you know, nobody's any happier because you just, you're acclimate.

Totally. Your mind finds a way to make things crazy or like unsatisfying. But it is weird. I feel like I'm in the middle. Like you're not like ugly, but you're not hot. So that is just complicated. Well, I think you're very hot and Kati is very hot.

So I don't think, yeah. I mean, but yeah, it's when it becomes an obsession. I think you're very hot and Kati is very hot. So I don't think, yeah. I mean, but yeah, it's mean, I have like body dysmorphic disorder, probably. If I was, if I were to be diagnosed, I probably have it, you know, because I'm constantly just focused on every single flaw. You know, when you're in front of the camera all the time, that's, I mean, that's hard not to do. So when are you going to fix them? Well, I just don't, I just, exactly. Listen, I've tried to fix all of them and they end up becoming worse because the universe hates me. so when you go in for a procedure it's like oh you can go right back to work after lunch i look like lady frankenstein but then it

stays that way it never gets i want to get where you i want to get a yank i think if i live long enough i'll get a yank yeah yeah but you have to maintain it what do you mean what do you mean maintain it maintain the yank like keep it yanked no mean? What do you mean maintain it? Maintain the yank. Like keep it yanked? I don't know. Like what are you going to do 10 years when it's not yanked no more? Get it re-yanked. Get it yanked tighter.

I mean, I'm not sure. Plastic surgery is changing so much. I mean, I want to. Yeah. I kind of want to. Have you had anything done? No. Other than like Botox and tube.

Botox, yeah. I wish the Botox stopped. Usually Botox stops you from sweating. It doesn't do that for me. It doesn't. Have you done it where you sweat? Botox and Dysport, I always tell them, fill me up. Like, kill a monkey that much.

Where? On my forehead. But that's not going to stop you from sweating. Don't you have to get the Botox in your sweat glands to stop you from sweating? No, no. It's supposed to, like, wherever you get it under the skin, it's supposed to stop that from sweating. Oh, I didn't know that.

Well, allegedly it does. It certainly doesn't with me. I mean, if it did, I would get it everywhere. Everywhere. But then I guess I would just be totally paralyzed. I kind of hope you never stop sweating. I'm never going to. Because it's awesome.

Never, never. I love it. I come from a family of prodigious sweaters. Like, I mean, concerning. Like my dad who turns 68 tomorrow. Oh, really? He sweats. Yeah, he is like a karate master.

And I talked about this on the last podcast. He's like, we would do training sessions. My dad, my brother and me all did karate in the same studio. And like 30 guys in a training session that's like two to four hours long sometimes, there would be like a puddle of rainwater of sweat on the floor of the studio. Like I'm talking people dripping, dripping, dripping, dripping, gushing with sweat. And the next day you could see like an accumulation of dried salt from the sweat on the floor it was so gross but like i cannot believe how much i sweat and my dad

sweats even more it's so gross i love it i think there's a scene in the show where like you put your head like right here for a second like it's just wet and when i get back there's always like this big like i love it a print it's so gross it's katya but since the part i'll try to keep it brief about the sweating because all we do with me and trixie is talk about air conditioning it's like the hvac podcast oh boy i should have read the best before date on this milk. Since I'm with Fizz, my unused data transfers to the next month automatically. I forgot things could expire.

For monthly data that transfers to the next month, switch to Fizz. Certain conditions apply. Details at Fizz.ca. I need you to corroborate the following claim. Okay. There was a show. Fuck, where was it? There was a show. Fuck, where was it? There was a show in Arizona. The show in Phoenix.

Phoenix. That was cool. Oh my God. Not only was it cool, it was like an ice. It was cold. And on stage, sometimes it's cool in the dressing room.

That's a small room. Yeah. Sometimes it's cool backstage. But then when the lights come on and the show starts, the stage becomes an oven. Right. You know what I mean? Like there is sometimes when me and Trixie are just sitting there hostage tight, you know, when you're doing your whole karma thing, we are broiling.

Broiling. Broiling. I look over at her. Her nose is wet, which means I'm soaked. And just sitting there in the spotlight broiling like rotisserie chickens because you both looked so pissed

at that point yeah it's just like you're doing you are living living with the gold arms and everything I'm like

I just sat in front of a fan backstage I'm totally would you like to yoink me backstage and you all are like I mean sometimes literally just dripping.

And then the worst, you know, it's like getting embarrassed. The thing about when you're conscious of sweating and then self-conscious about it, you just sweat more. Yeah. And it's just like, it's horrible. Anyways, but that. No, you all. Don't you think that was one show that was adequately AC? Was that the only one?

Yes. I can say for a fact that I can corroborate that Trixie and Katya keep backstage fucking freezing. I don't know how many times. And of course, I would never say anything because, you know, I'm like the good little guest star. So I'm like running around going can anyone find me a fucking space heater oh yeah not like i'm freezing right now and i'm like oh my god so they would be bringing me space heaters like on the dl you know while you all are like oh it's perfect weather back and i'm all like it's wonderful hypothermia it's crazy i mean i it's wonderful hypothermia yeah hypothermia it's crazy I mean I it's like

it's so horrible I picked the wrong career for sure for sure yeah I think drag is the wrong career for so many for everybody

it's better than just sweating it shouldn't be a career period yeah it's so strange to say like drag career anyways it's a career um where

what do you want to be when you grow up wait wait wait so wait so what was your worst gig your for any reason you know my worst gig? For any reason, you know. My worst gig? The least enjoyable, yeah, acting gig.

Oh, no. Nightmare gig. I'm such a weirdo. No, I'm kidding. Actually, that was fun. This theatrical show that's currently on right now called Trixie and Katya Live. No, that's one of my favorite gigs.

Oh, my God. I am loving this gig. This is so much fun. I love doing theater. I love doing live theater. You like theater better than film and TV? I do. I'm a theater dork.

I mean, like inside the actor's studio is like porn for me. I mean, I'm one of those people that, yeah, like get into like the, like I want to discuss the art of acting and like your process. And just to hear like all these legendary actors discuss the art of acting and like your process and just to hear like all these legendary actors talk about these legendary roles and movies and how they plays and stuff so yeah i'm like that's like my full-on fantasy um it turns me on can i give you

the can i give you the the questionnaire yeah can i the the you know james lipton does at the end oh no i've never no, I've never done this. You've never done it. Okay. Then let's do it. Let's do it. Um, I would say my worst TV gig though. I'm going to say it was modern family. Okay. Why? A lot of reasons. There are a lot of reasons. A lot of reasons. I'm like, yeah, it was, it was not a pleasant gig. It was not a pleasant gig at all. I wanted it to be and i had you know and i've been called in for that show like 16 000 times over the last 40 years or something of course i'm exaggerating that'll be um yeah it's uh but yeah it was it was weird it was weird energy girl oh

i'm like that's not good that's sophia barbara yeah yeah weird energy but yeah okay let me let me see okay so this is um we have, we're going to wrap up soon. Okay. So the questions that James Lipton so dramatically asked, you know, at the end of the interview, what is your favorite word? My favorite word? Serendipity.

Okay. What is your least favorite word my least favorite word is what is my least favorite word my least favorite word you have to answer these too what's your favorite word

my favorite word is like I'll say my favorite Russian word is shlucha oh what's that mean slut it's just such a strange word i love that yeah my least favorite word um probably patriarchy or misogyny uh-huh yeah um mine is um sir sir sir like what no right don't call me sir. Sir.

Also, don't call me ma'am either. Sir and ma'am. We got to do away with that. Yeah, we got to do away with that. Excuse me, sir. We still say that all the time. I know. My man was in the Marine Corps and he is very big about like, sir, yes, sir. Sir Patrick Stewart, not like, sir, me.

I know. I think it's so stupid. I know. I prefer to be called madam. Yeah, madam X. Madam X. Madam X. Madam X is a tennis instructor. What turns you on?

This. What turns you off? This. What sound or noise do you love? Wait, we need to back up. What sound or noise do you love? Uh? Wait, what? Wait, we need to back up. What sound or noise do you love? I love, um,

I love, like, any, um, whoops, or like, or like, any, any, any, um, like, kind of reflexive acknowledgement of a mistake. Like, whoops. Oh, yeah, yeah, like, whoops. Or like,zies. Yeah, yeah, like, or like, whoa,

or things like that. Like when people fall or like the whole range. I love those. What an odd thing. That you just kind of like, you know, whatever. What sound or noise

do you hate? What sound or noise do I hate? I mean. There's so many. Children crying on an airplane. crying i was gonna go with that yeah i was gonna the classic yeah also um electric guitar rehearsal i would say violin rehearsal yeah that has a horrific element though like that has like a i mean that is so intense electric there's something so if you live next to a person who wants to be in a band.

Yeah. It's a wrap. Have you done that? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Like the, it's a couple of times actually. And people who are practicing the guitar.

Yeah. Especially the electric guitar. I mean, it's just horrible. Or the drums. That's brutal. Yeah. I think about that a lot because I'm a guitar player but luckily i play acoustic only sure and so i always wonder though like you know if my man's like oh my god please stop jewel oh

yeah yeah who do you think you are okay what is your favorite curse word my favorite curse word is shit goddamn mother fuck i love a compound curse word yeah like a combo yes i think i love fuck but i love it's just fuck because it has so many meanings so many you can be like fuck or like or like fuck you're like fuck like you know like ouch or like yes or like or like did you fuck her did Did you fuck her? Did he fuck her, Dolores? Fuck her. Lick her in the rear,

poke her in the front. And it's just so quick and it's so zippy. Yeah. I mean, most of them are. Fuck. What is your, okay, in last one,

what profession other than your own would you like to attempt? I think I want to be a meteorologist. I have no idea why. I'm obsessed with tornadoes. Helen Hunt and Twister. Yes, I want to be Helen Hunt and Twister.

Or Jodie Foster and Contact. I mean, it's kind of the same thing. It's totally the same thing. Your dead daddy compels you into science. So can I ask you, are you obsessed with Nell? I mean, because you talk about Jodie and Con... You're not. Did you not like it?

Chickabee, chickabee, moo, moo, moo. Come on. No, I mean a feral Jodie Foster. I'll take Jodie Foster in any situation. But I, no, I don't... Jodie Foster in pajamas with her lover on the couch accepting the Emmy. I will not accept that. That's where I draw the line. That's where I draw the line.

That's where you draw the line. I was pissed. I was, first of all, I was like, why are you having an award ceremony on Zoom? Like, don't do that.

Just cancel it. It's so decadent and so stupid enough. And then when she, like, when she had the, she had the gall to like, pretend that there was no chance

she was going to win. And then she was like, but you're nominated. Right. If you're nominated, you have to prepare a speech. Yes. And then you have to have someone write it. Yes. Because you're wasting people's time.

Yes. And it was just so cringe, and it made me so upset. It was so boring. And she had her lesbian lover on the bed. And I was like, this is so weird. I know. She came and saw a musical I was in years ago called Dear Bernard. She's incredible, by the way. And I was like, this is so weird. I know. She came and saw a musical I was in years ago

called Dear Bernard. She's incredible, by the way. She is amazing. That was the only bad moment I've ever witnessed, you know. And she's been through quite a lot. Yeah. But yeah, she is unlike anybody.

Oh my God. She's a unique American. And perfect French, by the way. She speaks perfect. Yeah, I read that actually. She went to a French high school or something in LA. She speaks perfect French to the the way. She speaks perfect. Yeah, I read that actually. She went to a French high school or something in LA. She speaks perfect French to the point where she can do, she has done many French interviews in perfect Parisian French.

Well, she's one of those actors that I like because she talks about the fact that she will literally close contact with all of her friends and family and relatives when she's playing a role. See, I do the same thing, except I'm not acting. She's a recluse. She's so intense. I do this.

Exactly. I mean, you and I are very alike in that way. We haven't seen any roles that she's played yet, but I'm sure something's coming out soon. And then if God, if heaven exists, what would you like God to say to you when you arrive at the pearly gates?

Fuck you. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck off. Yeah. heaven exists what would you like god to say to you when you arrive at the pearly gates fuck you yeah yeah fuck off yeah ma'am sir ma'am sir yes that's exactly what's gonna happen i'm gonna say you are so completely assassinated god's gonna say what are you what are you that's exactly what's gonna happen you know it is You know it is. You know it is. Kelly Mantle killed God. Killed God, honey. The God killer. I love that. Let me be the one to kill God. Yeah. I'll gladly.

I would too. I would gladly support you in that mission. Okay, what would you, anything you'd like to say? And also, don't let me forget, how do people find you online and all that? How do they find me online? Yeah, yeah. How do they find you online? I don't know. How do you find me online? How do they find you online? I don't know.

How do you find me online? Twitter is The Kelly Mantle. The Kelly Mantle. The Kelly Mantle because some teacher from London has the other one. And Instagram

is Kelly Mantle. And then, are you a TikToker? I have to join TikTok. Everyone keeps telling me to join TikTok, so I'm going to join TikTok. Okay.

Just don't know nudity or profanity No? No Why? They'll censor you Oh Do you do TikTok? I try

I do it as Under the Pseudonym Frederica Bemel Which is a deep cut That's from Silence of the Lambs I know Yeah

That's amazing But I get censored all the time And for erotic Like content That's not Erotic at all but what have you done like it puts the lotion in the basket is that why you're getting lots i don't know i don't know they just they're haters but anyways um thank you so much for coming oh my god it's so fun to see you

i've missed you these last three weeks we've been away from each other It's a rare delight to have a colleague that you genuinely enjoy all the time. Oh, yeah. I've yet to find one. Y'all are so amazing. And we're getting ready to go to Australia. I know. Have you been there? I have never have. This will be my first time. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's crazy. It's so far away. I know. It's so far. I hear the flights like 39 hours. It takes three weeks, yeah. Well, you lose a day and then you get one back. Oh. Do that math for me.

How is that possible? I don't even know how that works. You lose a day. You lose a day. And then you get one back. I'm sure Trixie will be working both of them. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

She'll be feverishly working both days so she loses and gets back. You and I will be mummies yeah comatose oh my god well thank you so much thank you i love you i love you baby goodbye goodbye Bye.