The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Happy Pride! Make America Gape Again! with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: June 14, 2022

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Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. Hello, hello, hello. Yes, we're recording. Check, Hello, hello, hello. Yes, we're recording. Check, check, check. Check, check. Can you put me up a little bit?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just your monitor? Or like just in general? My headphones? Yeah. How's that? Oh, that's a little too much. Too much.

How about that? A little too much, actually. Okay, how about that? That's good. How about just like a little bit of that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like When um

In music videos When the People in the booth Are like just Pushing buttons Up and down The whole time That they're singing a ballad

Well they're They act like it's the Slay button It's not the slay button It's volume levels And like sound levels But they act like Oh this is getting juicy

Yeah Yeah ooh Here it goes and also you wouldn't i mean i'm not a sound engineer but correct me if i'm wrong you wouldn't be um like buttons wouldn't be present like you wouldn't be uh moving dials during the song no you really want it not during the song no mid mid sing yeah you would you would you would be listening back to it and you'd be tweaking it so that you would honestly be tweaking it so that you can get it somewhere where the artist can say good because then once the artist leaves that's when they go in and they do all that shit but

they do this on a computer right yeah those giant boards when you go into the real real studios are they're not saying they're overkill but it's all for show 90 of those do not get used you know it's like and it's they're all like little% of those do not get used. Oh. You know? It's like, they're all like little props like in the science fiction movies. Yeah. Like in the lab. Well, they're all individual channels. So let's say there's 20 people

individually singing all at once. You would need all those channels. But most of the time, you're just tracking one or two people at once. Yeah. Well, it's always, the scene is always one person

like doing a ballad. Yeah. Just one person. And then the guy's like. And the mic is here and it's a woman in full hair and makeup. And she's like doing a ballad. Yeah. Just one person. And then the guy's like. And the mic is here and it's a woman in full hair and makeup. And she's like.

How do I live without you? And then she remembers that she's in love and her singing gets even better. Yeah. Well, because if anybody and any sound engineer will tell you,

it's not exactly the buttons that really give you the sound. It's the remembrance. It's like coming into your power. Music school? No, no, no no speed dating yeah the thing that learned um the thing that finally kind of got me over the hump of um learning the classic violin is uh confidence i know yeah that instrument i gotta say this but the i had to believe in myself in order to play the violin i just did an interview with guitarworld.com, I think, or Guitar World magazine,

and they were asking about why I started the guitar, and I was like, honestly, I was poor. And I probably started the same reason every poor person starts a guitar. Because there's always one around, and they're not that expensive. They're really not that expensive? Like, if you're in a single-parent home, or your family's on a fixed income,

you're not in violin lessons. Oh no. Right. Yeah. Yeah. You're not karate. You're not in karate. You're not doing gymnastics.

You're not doing dance class. Nothing. It's so expensive. Yeah. So expensive. Well, when's the last time I saw girl, we just shot two days of,

uh, in a week. Yeah. That was a couple of short, short, short, short. I love doing,

uh, but two in a week is it's uh it's pushing it because that one is um yeah i mean i there's it's tough we're we've fallen i think we've both fallen asleep watching it during netflix at times and um you know but uh we can't do that in a world of wonder because there's nothing to bring us back there's not a movie playing there's not a movie we can rely on the audience watching a hollywood film yeah for a hundred million dollar budget movie um on the days we're retired i always worry if jeff and ron are they get the footage and they're like are you kidding great are you kidding i can't even imagine the kind of internal discussions that are happening i don't want to know though. I don't ever want to know.

People have been watching season seven and people have been saying, oh, the editing this season is crazy. I said, we're getting more boring. They're having to do back handsprings. You know, when part of the body fails and other muscle groups are recruited to- When you go blind and you hear better.

Yes, exactly. Both eyes have gone blind. So the ears have really needed to perk up. Isn't it incredible that when someone loses their sight or their hearing, their vision or like vice versa improves? Did you know that? I mean, I've heard that, but I don't know. When people lose their sight, I think their hearing sharpens.

Their body's like, oh, now this is the moment. I mean, that makes sense. Vision is very important. If I had really good hearing hearing i would inflate it to the point of like we'd be in a silent where i'd be like y'all don't hear that you don't know out down the street so pride what are you Oh yes happy pride It's the first month

What's this outfit about Well I just thought Like I would put on I was supposed to go get Oh you were I'll say it I don't care I was supposed to go get

A hemorrhoid removed today And it shrunk It shrunk so much That the doctor was like Why don't you go on Your Australia tour And see if it continues To shrink because

Yeah I don't wanna I don't wanna fish around Your butt with the Hedge clippers today Yeah and if anybody's Had a hemorrhoid removed i've done it it the healing process is annoying because that's a unsanitary area that stretches and moves when you do things what's going on with your that area like opens and closes i know i know and you know plus i'm gaping yeah and so you know i'm gaping i'ming. I'm pulling every night before I go to bed. I lube up and I put two fingers and I rip, I open, I gape, I gape, make America gape again. I'm gaping.

We have some friends where I would say gaping and they'd be like, Oh my God. I'd be like, Mary, you do it on camera. You do it on camera. Gaping doesn't even, we need a,

we need a bigger word. We need a bigger boat to describe what is happening with some of the, the gaping is not. When it goes that far, I'm like, was Westboro church, right? God does hate bags.

Maybe they were on to something. Yeah. Yeah. They were a little too vocal about it. Yeah. It's like, um, um, it would, it would be like, um, it would,

it would be like a, another word. It would be like, I just feel like it's an event horizon or something. Yeah. You know, when the black hole sucks everything into it and everybody turns evil. It's the,

um, multiverse, multiverse of madness. That's my hole. That's me. Oh yeah. That's me. When they put a,

they also, the doctor, he wanted to show me that the hemorrhoid was like, of course my luck, by the way, I finally get an appointment and it starts rapidly shrinking. Great. Yeah.

So he takes pictures and then they show you on an iPad pictures of your butthole. And it's not even the first time I've been shown butthole pictures on an iPad. I hate that. I hate that. Were they going to excise it or were they going to burn it? Cut,

remove. They said, um, sometimes when you have a hemorrhoid your body either like pumps blood into it makes it worse or your body like blocks it off yeah and he says yours is pretty much blocked off so it'll go away on its own or we can remove it later but with this week and everything i just was like i don't need to have this surgery right now no i mean that is very pride though to be doing very proud to do elective rectal surgery booked in busy and

drag all day with like a bleeding asshole from a hemorrhoid surgery well he said it's it's he said you know it's not dangerous it's in a sense it's on the outside like it's it's not gonna be dangerous or pain instead if it's not painful it's just really cosmetic he's like are you do you use it matter to you yeah how many cover shoots do you have for a whole magazine? As a woman, I'm like, it does matter to me when I wear, yeah. When you bend over and you have your little dental floss G string on and the club,

it kind of gets a little, yeah, it gets a little, um, maybe I can get it like a, it's a pride month. I could spin this into a little, you could,

you could, are you dipping into the cool, the cool, cool waters of corporate sponsorship during pride? I don't think so. Well, come on. I know. Are you dipping into the cool waters of corporate sponsorship during Pride? I don't think so. Well, come on, Deepa. I know. I don't think so.

I don't think people want me to speak for their products. You're not really a content creator. No. I don't think they watch your TikToks. The mere mention of that phrase makes me bristle. Well, basically, it's an all-encompassing umbrella word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because some people who make Instagram stories

and call themselves a content creator. Absolutely. But then an independent filmmaker could call themselves a content creator. It doesn't really mean anything. Yeah, literally anything from the bread face girl to like Barbara Dunn, the bread face girl, the girl who sits on or puts her face in bread.

It's an oldie. That's an oldie. That's a deep cut. Yeah. She's like. Is she on Ishikido? She's like, at least I can smell it or something. I don't know.

I don't know what her deal is, but she does all different types of bread. And it. You've never seen her? Is that what's beyond cake farts? I think it's. Yeah, it's like. Bread face. It's like the PG. It's in the neighborhood, but it's in the PG section.

DJ Breadface. DJ Breadface. Yeah, she puts her face right into the bread, smushes it down. I think it's like, you know. You know what, girl? Joke's on us. She's mashing bread in her face and we're cross-dressing in our 40s. Yeah, no, I mean, she's really, she's got it right.

Content creator. She ate. Yeah. She didn't eat. She smushed. Yeah, no, I mean, I'm, so. She's really, she's got it right. Content creator. She ate. Yeah. She didn't eat. She smushed. Yeah, she didn't eat at all. You got pride gigs? Yes.

Oh my God, so many. Are you really not doing any prides? No, I'm doing like a million. Are you not doing? I think I'm late for one right now. Oh, it's pride. If we're going to talk off the record. No, I don't,

I don't think I'm. This is the month to do gigs. Is it? Everything. Everything pays a little more. Uh-huh. And granted, sometimes daytime and stuff. We don't have.

But we have a tour. Yeah, but not for two weeks. And it's still pride in Australia when you get there. I think I have five pride gigs before we leave. Is pride only in June? It moves. So like in Atlanta, where it's really hot, it's in September. October, okay.

I think in Phoenix, it's also not in the summer. That's, wow, a rare moment of like humanity for gay people. I got to, the premiere is tonight. Yeah, I'm coming. And then the airport, the car for the airport comes at 3 a.m. To go to Pittsburgh to DJ tomorrow night. Where can I throw this? What is wrong with you?

I'm going to stop asking. I'm just going to assume that you're insane and that you want it. You are Julianne Moore with the seam cutter. These are godless times. Yeah. So I got that gig tomorrow. That would be me DJing tomorrow.

I'm going to grab the mic and go, these are godless times. So I got that tomorrow. But That would be me DJing tomorrow. I'm going to grab the mic and go, is that God of Stars? So I got that tomorrow. But that's actually really easy. I mean, DJing. Not going to the airport. The airport is now. 3 a.m. at, so what, you'd have to,

you pop a goofball around 11 and then make it to the airport around, you leave the airport at 2. Wait, what? The flight is at 3? No, you get picked up at 3. Flight's at 6. Oh, right, right, right. Get? No, Mike, you get picked up at three. Oh. Flight's at six.

Oh, right, right, right, right. Get to the East Coast for a gig. You lose all that time. You lose all that time. Who the fuck is Serial calling? The front door. Oh, my God. Hello?

Brandon, there's going to be flowers coming to the door. Oh, my God. Who is she? I don't know this person. I don't want to know this person. Brandon, put the fucking flowers by the thank you note from the butt doctor. Thank you.

Shut up. I wonder who sent them. You love, she loves flowers. I love flowers. So I got, I got a Pittsburgh Pride Friday. You got flowers that,

you got flowers for Algernon at 1115. I got Pittsburgh Pride, Pittsburgh Pride Friday You got flowers for Algernon at 11.15 I got Pittsburgh Pride Friday And then Saturday I got a during the day drive to Asbury Park, New Jersey Do a band gig After the band gig at 9ish Get in the car Drive 90 minutes in drag to the Borgata Casino

To DJ at midnight To DJ at midnight Double gig, double booked. Well, that's going to suck. I know. No, not necessarily. Borgata is like fun and trashy. If you're cross-dressing and it's pride and you're not

making as much money as you can. Yeah. What do you wait until July? When it's hotter and you're less valuable? Yes. Or you're just, you don't want to make that much money. Or you don't care. There's also that option. Something, I don't know about her.

That's me. Yeah, that is you. So do they call you, can I ask, do they call you for gigs and you say no? Uh-huh. I'm sorry. Who's they? Like when people ask you to do gigs, do you say no? A lot.

Oh yeah. Really? Yeah. I mean, do you think I i've just i'm not wanted at all can i ask another question because we are sort of like city mouse country mouse like do you have like a paywall where you're like if it's not this much don't even ask i don't i don't negotiate my own things but i don't i don't leave the house for oh those are gorgeous gorge wow those are very very pretty let's see what it's from i still think about the flowers you sent me from cobra lily pixie congrats on your incredible feet and see you tonight sorry in advance that i'm going to

look better than you at your own party whitney cummings oh wow feet f-E-A-T or F-E-E-T? I think she said good luck on your feet. F-E-A-T or F-E-E-T? Well, I think it's just F-A-T. Good luck on your fat. Good luck on your fat. Yeah. Good luck losing 12 pounds before the premiere party tonight,

you fat cunt. I don't know what it is about the Instagram algorithm, but Whitney's standup specials pop up to me on this. Maybe she posted a lot, but they're always popping up. Yeah. level success? In a place that is innovative and practical? A path to stay current and connected to industry? A place where you can be yourself? You will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue.yorku.ca. This episode is brought to you by CIBC.

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Stream Paramount Plus from $6.99 a month. So wait a minute, back to your gigs. Can I just like understand this correctly? They ask you to do gigs. They ask you to... Hello?

They ask you to do gigs and you say no. Yeah. For your enjoyment and for your own happiness? Yeah. I mean, I don't want to work that much. I mean, I don't really want to work at all. But then, you know, we have this show. I'm not making fun of you.

No, I'm not. I really think that this is. You think it's a mental illness? No, I think it's a really healthy thing. Because I feel like the way you think is, why would I do that? I have money. I have the money I need to live. Why would I go?

Yeah. I mean, I never feel that way. No, yeah. I mean, I don't know. I crossed the threshold a long time ago. Now, but here's the thing I have to keep remembering, and this is so embarrassing. This is really embarrassing,

is that I am so selfish and I'm so self-centered that I forget that my money earning potential goes beyond the care of just myself. Do you know what I mean? Like there are other people in the world that I could be taking care of. Like my family Do you know what I mean? Like, there are other people in the world that I could be taking care of. Like my family.

You know what I mean? Like my fucking nephews. people who make money off you. I thought you like your responsibility to management and agency. Are you out of your mind? No,

if anything, I'm going to tax them once I retire. I won't say this. Give me my 10% back until I die. I won't say this not to make you feel

any type of way. Taking one gig a year you didn't really care to do and then sending it to your parents and being like, it's for retirement, enjoy it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is a game changer for them, I'm sure. Yeah. Because they are extremely poor. Extremely poor. Extremely poor.

And they're only 55, 56 years old so they got a long way to go. I got to meet your mom on tour. Yeah. I'd never met her. Yeah. I met your whole fam on tour.

Yeah. You met my, you met cousins and everyone. Yeah. I didn't get to meet your brother. A lot of ladies. No. I didn't even get to see him. He literally, he pulled at me and just like dipped.

By the time I was backstage and like not even like wiped off sweat, he was like, oh yeah, we're back at the hotel. I was like, work. Work. Love it. Yes. Love it. Yeah, me too. off sweat he was like oh yeah we're back at the hotel i was like work work love it yes love it yeah me too your mom was so nice and i yeah only because i know her from drag race and i know you so well it was it was like it felt very overdue to put it i know yeah i know i was like i guess i haven't met because of drag race i think i mentally thought maybe i'd met her i had i figured you had to but also my family i don, we don't really get involved. You guys really look alike.

Yeah. I think people say that. And you, I don't see it a lot like your sister. Yeah. Okay. I don't see it at all. We don't see anything.

Yeah. She's great. She's like, she's like the nicest person in the world. My sister and my mother, the two, you know, when you ever do that morbid thing of like,

when you're, say you've got a hostage situation or some horrible killer is like threatening you. And you're like, which one, which one? And I hostage situation or some horrible killer is like threatening you and you're like, which one, which one? And I was like, Oh,

take me on like no problem. But actually that it's kind of, it's kind of easy because I would just go first. I've thought about this a lot. The only person I think I would go for. What do you mean go for? Like you would go, you would give up your life.

You die or they die. Oh yeah. Yeah. Little rich. Probably David. Okay okay and my younger siblings yeah yeah yeah my older brother that feels like uh maybe something in my genetics knows you don't die for the older sibling you die for the younger siblings my sisters either of them gun to the head no problem no hesitation you would put a gun to their head no No, we're going to shoot you or them. I'd be like, do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, my brother's my benefactor, my financial benefactor. Would you have a will? Yeah. Where did you write it on the computer?

Because he's a liar. Yeah. And he's the one that I, I mean, I love my mom. I love my sisters. I don't trust those bitches with money. No, no, no. I trust my brother with the money. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, I told him him like i'll let you pretty much have everything but you need to like slowly disperse to the rest of the family over time because if you give it to them all at once they're gonna get corvettes and live in the street or something like they're not responsible right right right right right yeah so that's cool is it is it like um is it i'll read it to you i know i think i have one too i wrote it on my notes app in the, on the bus. Cause I was like,

Oh, there is a, you really think that bus is going to kill you. I don't think that I, I'm not dramatic. I'm not dramatic. I'm not dramatic. I'm not going to answer,

primorifies the bus and turn it into a murderer. But I do feel that it's quite, it's more than, you know, there's a, there's a decent possibility that we will die on the bus. So, um,

let's do, let's have that conversation. Let's celebrate that. Exactly, because I'm not complaining. It seems like you're writing the will in anticipation. So I did. I was on the bus and I couldn't go to sleep. And I was like, oh, I should write a will just in case. So I did.

I wrote it on my notes app. And I told Eden, I was like, just so you know, if they can get it from the cloud. What do you want if you die? Or what do you want from me if I die? From you? Items. Any items I have.

Anything. I'm assuming you don't want money. No, I mean, I would. You want Matthew? I had to wait. I would throw that thing off of a cliff.

I would go to Courtney's old apartment And throw it down The trash chute I don't think Would you fuck it No To clammy I don't think I have

Anything of value to you Honestly There's not much Of value to me In like just period You with the Peloton I don't like Stationary biking

Or biking really at all Alright You want I'd take the AstroTurf Oh You want the seamless seamless paper photo shoots oh i take i take the entire office the youtube stuff i take all the equipment cameras take everything and sell it on ebay oh okay it's more of a okay no no there's anything of yours i would want i don't really don't think so no i do have something that's really really

valuable hold on let me think about what it is it's um i don't remember but it's yeah i don't really don't think so. No, I do have something that's really, really valuable. Hold on. Let me think about what it is. It's, um, I don't remember, but it's, yeah, I don't have anything. Nothing really good.

You could have that giant drawing. I did in college. I love that. I think that'd be really great. Well, I'm trying to, I was going to get it framed. Can I get it framed?

No, I'm going to get it framed and I'm putting it in my new house. Oh, I was going to try to put it in my new house. You know what I should do? No, you don't should do. I should try one like a just as good.

Yeah. I would actually love to do that too. Cause it would, if I did it for somebody else, then I would be more focused and I would actually try hard and then I would do it better. I was just at, I took,

okay. News. Oh, okay. I'm happy to say it. Why? I'm moving out of took, okay. News. Oh, okay. I'm happy to say it. What? I'm moving out of this condo. Okay.

Because I'm moving into a house that I purchased. That's incredible. So this condo will probably go to heaven. I was going to rent it, but I think it's a lot to rent something. Don't be a landlord. Don't be a slumlord. Yeah. So I'm going to let it go.

I hope the next person likes pink. Well, if they don't, then guess what? That's why God invented a wall paint you know yeah so um it's not oh it is very pink yeah you're just i am i'm never gonna say much about the place because i don't want people to know where i live oh shit um shit because people have known where i lived before and i don't like it yeah that's so crazy too like i mean i i'm so naive with that stuff but um people mean well but like when i get when it's my birthday and gifts from people i don't know show up to my home it makes me feel unsafe yeah very unsafe yeah yeah yeah so um but we were

at the house yesterday because other news i'm gonna let david move in with me wow six years in i'm taking the plunge taking the plunge i think i put a lot of personal fear into moving in with someone with with um and you're exactly right to do that yeah i'm scared of that but eventually i was like we've been together so long what am i afraid of and what's the worst case scenario what's the worst thing that can happen and honestly after doing the motel i think that will be a lot harder than lifting living together. Yeah, absolutely. What? Oh,

wow. I mean, you're not even a home. Here's the thing. I love having a boyfriend. Yeah. When you live together, you introduce new stress,

getting sick of each other, being in each other's way, sharing responsibilities, sharing you, you, you, you gamble with adding, you go into the next level. Yeah.

And you don't know what's going to happen. You don't know what's going to happen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so that's what I was fear of. Cause I had a boyfriend in college that I broke up with while we lived together and it was just horrible.

Really horrible. Why did you break up? Um, at the time, I mean, I was 22, 23. So it was also 10 years ago,

but, um, we just kind of outgrew each other a little bit. Yeah. I mean, early twenties relationships. It's rare that people kind of grow in the exact same direction. Yeah.

That's kind of like, did you have sex with him a lot all the time yeah constantly and then and then not no we did we had sex all the time oh and then even when you didn't really like each other yeah yeah a lot of sex um but i guess i brought david to the house yesterday because I wanted him to see it. Did he gag? Oh, well, I gagged. I mean, it's gagging. Yeah. He gagged. I mean, he liked the pictures, but in person I could tell he was like, yeah, it's beautiful. That's awesome.

Yeah. It's really, really beautiful. And I love this house. If I wasn't doing drag and outgrowing it so quickly, I love this place. Yeah. I filmed a tour of this condo like during COVID and then I started getting mail and stuff to my home address.

So then I decided not to show people the anatomy of my home. Oh yeah. That's a smart one. Yeah. I know I'm an idiot when we got like when Drag Race started

I went on like Instagram live and showed people like where I lived where I was just like I was doing whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because I lived lived above a bar so it was also like that added like public you know what I mean people felt like it was just like a a stop in a little museum tour or whatever you could just go right in yeah I love that I don't I just want to say this if you love someone if you love someone don't go to their house don't go to their house don't find out their phone number yeah don't

don't send things to their personal email don't mail things to their house yeah i remember my old house i walked outside one day and there was a girl in a tricksy shirt and like blue blue hair yeah you know the vibe just waiting and she turned and ran and i tweeted there was a tricksy fan outside my house today and people were like she people responded she didn't know it was your house i'm like she obviously did she obviously did but she just sitting there just my old address she was just standing there just like just standing there vibing yeah stand there yeah yeah yeah so the new address i'm gonna guard with my fucking life i don't think i'm gonna tell banishment my address no no no need to know basis and when i invite people over for dinner

it's a kidnapping it's a it's a blindfolding you get uh blindfolded and then chloroformed like squid game and then you just get left on the yeah you'll wake up on the parquet floor and then you'll just yeah that'll be cute actually in squib game when when uh they get in the car and then that is my that now airlines take note because y'all think you're like, you're really, I'm doing something with these gourmet menus on your airline. Consider this. Thank you for coming. You know, thank you for writing,

um, you know, dipshit airlines. Uh, you know, here's the secret. And then you pump, you pump in gas.

Like Corbin Dallas, fifth element when they're like, have a good flight. Corbin Dallas. Boom. Trank to the neck. Fifth Element had a lot of things going good for it. Let's take a break.

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I love the fifth element. Yeah. Costumes by Jean-Paul Gaultier. Snapped. Multipass. Multipass. Yeah. There's a lot of things in that movie that should come to fruition.

There's a part where she is hungry and she puts an empty plate in the microwave and beep, beep, and a full rotisserie chicken comes out. Yeah. I've been waiting for that food pill forever. You know what else? When she goes like this and that view thing and then her eye makeup is done gorgeous yeah like in total recall with the nails you know all those futuristic things are kind of like so we have the ipads now we have the flying cars where are the nails we don't have flying cars well i mean some of these planes are really small i think it's like a flying

car i think i'm gonna get like a toyota corolla or a Tercel and just put an iPad in the front and write in spray paint Tesla on it. So wait, wait, wait. I have to, I think it is, I think I'm facing this fork in the road, literally, where I have to buy a car. Interesting. Why? a car interesting why because um because where i'm living is just not like i'll just need a car just so where you're living is just far away from things you need to get to yeah like it's just like i'm not in a girl those ubers rack up oh yeah no no i know that i mean it's it's not it's not necessarily about like the the financial expenditure or the expense.

That's for, that's crazy. That's like crazy and shouldn't be that high. But, um, I just don't really like cars. Uh, as we've famously talked,

we've like both don't really like driving. Well, I think that you're, you seem like you'd be a pretty safe driver. Yeah. I'm, I'm fine. I'm fine.

I'm like, I'm stressed out. I'm safe. I'm attentive. It's a pain. I'm paying attention. I'm not drunk I'm attentive. I'm paying attention. I'm not drunk. And this is the thing. In LA, there's always going to be the chaotic way to get somewhere and the calm way.

Like, you can take the busy freeway or take Fountain. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Honey, take Fountain. You have to take the side streets. Take the side streets. You have to take Olympic. You know, I'm just looking for Like an easy way To get downtown

I took Fountain To Olympic To La Cienega And then I just hopped On the 405 And then you go From Pico to Cienega And then you just take

Fountain All the way home And then when I'm In Little Armenia I go to Big Armenia And then I end up In Medium Armenia But then I was like

In Thai Town I was like Thai Town LA does have Thai Town K-Town And Chinatown I believe Thai Town Chinatown Thai town. I'm in Thai town. LA does have Thai town, K-town, and Chinatown, I believe. Thai town, Chinatown. How about the world in Los Angeles? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, that's K-town.

There's Little Armenia. Little Tokyo. Little Tokyo. West Hollywood, which is the country of gay. Which is also Little Russia. Very Little Russia. And this is just south of me. I don also little Russia. Very little Russia. And this is the, just south of me.

I don't know if you've ever seen, it's a lot of the very traditional Jewish families. Yeah. Well, there's Jewish pockets everywhere, but this is like the fancy clothes. And on the weekends they walk cause they do the no, no electronics thing. Can I ask a close hope?

I hope an open-minded question. Yeah. Very devout Jewish people who don't use electronics on the weekend. Can they not touch them? Can they use Siri? Like. That's a good question. Like if you program.

As an Orthodox Jew, and I am definitely going to answer that. I don't know. Can you program your TV to turn on when like, you know, Women Who Kill comes on and then you're like, well, since it's on,

I'm not breaking the law. Yeah. Well, I don't think it's a law, but yeah, think um i know people who have families in like these orthodox religions like you know whether it's muslim or jewish or whatever and they you know those like custom they always find some people always find a little loophole or i mean it's like you know you know god's not going to come down from heaven and like slice you in half if you use siri on saturday although maybe he will i don't know You know, God's not going to come down from heaven and like slice you in half if you use Siri on Saturday. Although maybe he will.

I don't know. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? I'm reading a book about Islam right now, like the history of Islam. And religion is so wild. It is. It is so wild. It is.

And it's really hard to honestly gauge which ones are the wildest because some of them just seem more wild because they're newer. Yes. And some of them seem less crazy because we're exposed to it all the time yeah yeah yeah you know americanized religions don't seem as crazy yeah they are we have it on our dollar bills and stuff and then of course like in america like interesting that when white people do the religion it's trendy you know what i mean like yeah cool it's right and yeah well they're you know uh churches and liquor stores. What about them? You find them everywhere.

If I went to a liquor store and they were doing a sun salutation or something, I would scream. Like a morning prayer. Could you imagine a liquor store they're doing a baptism? Yes, I can actually. I'm surprised they don't baptize the babies in like Tito's.

Serve pink lemonade, serve vodka. Serve that baby. It's your baby fucking fierce. And then drown that bitch in pink vodka. It's the what the God, I think it's their Greek Orthodox ones. They take the baby and they go, boom, boom, boom. It is wild. They take that little baby and they fuck it up. They dunk the baby and they go, boom. It's sickening. Boom. It is wild. They take that little baby and they fuck it up.

They dunk the baby. I would do that energy, but it would be like a big martini glass. Like, um, like you put a little, um, you put a little Swarovski shoe on her, a little, um, a little crystal thong and I grab her by her lace front and I go, are you ready to get cunt? And then I just start dipping. Are you ready to serve cunt? then I just start dipping are you ready to serve cunt yes cunt come on cunt who put my baby in the water uh who put my baby in the water

and then when the when I put the baby's mouth in the water I'd make it kind of sexy and be like and then when the baby came up it'd be yesified-ified. It'd be like, 13 years old. Or it'd be 18 years old. Yeah. 18 years old and like, freak him dancing. With like a long, like a ponytail doing this. Isolating butt cheeks and a twerk. Yeah, that'd be great. So let's have, let's have that conversation.

More sexy baptisms. Where are all the sexy baptisms? Why can't I make it so solemn so grim I mean I that footage you gotta go google it I'll find

maybe I'll try to find a link but like I love them I've seen them that is I mean sometimes they drop them too oh they are

they are flinging that baby like a fucking doll I mean it's it's fine love control they're rubber babies are rubber yeah

like nobody no babies died from baptism. That doesn't happen. Yeah. Right, right, right, right.

But it's just, it's just later. It's the guilt of baptism. Hello. Thank you. It's very intense. It's a very intense thing. Although I do appreciate that because all those,

especially Catholic stuff, my God, how, what a grim, boring affair. All these bringing up ceremonies are, were you baptized? Yeah.

What was that like? Baptized? Well, I was an infant, so I'm not exactly clear on Yeah. What was that like? Baptized? Well, I was an infant, so I'm not exactly clear on that memory. Well, you were dressed like an infant. You were 25, but you had a little baby bow in the hair. No, I had Alexis Stone come paint the baby face on my adult face and I just had a- The filter. First communion, sacraments. Have you gotten to put the baby filter on a baby? Yes, and it doesn't really do much.

Actually, it doesn't really do much on a youthful face either. On Eden, it was hilarious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really funny in her. She looks, yeah. It's good on you in drag. I'm obsessed with your face with the old thing in drag. It kind of is a serve.

I mean, I have it framed in my apartment. It's such a serve. It kind of is a serve. Yeah. It's like a beautiful, imagine like a gorgeous, a beautiful like ceramic plate that's in like all these

jewel tones and then you just drop it on the floor and it cracks. Yeah. And that's like, that's like that. Do you know what I mean?

Do you think you'll get pumped? With what? If you continue to do Drag In Your Life, do you think you'll get like cheek pump, lip pump? I already got lip pump and I'm getting more next week because when i see the men on tv now like the

late night hosts i clock that voluma in the cheeks so fast yeah just a little useful you know i i swear to god um i just sir i just saw this thing this morning about how there was a on d listed that said kim kardashian would eat shit if it would help her look younger. And it's like, girl, honey, get in line. Same. but I don't, but I don't, I don't, I don't want to do all that. Guess what?

Just guess what becomes shit? Your food. Yeah. Eating shit is not the worst thing. Just turn the, turn the beat around. If it was like Kim Kardashian would kill someone. I was like,

okay, then no, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Shit girl. Don't act like, yeah,

we'd all, mom, we all eat shit. I, I, the stuff, I don't know. I'm just, I don't know who, who knows who cares. I'm for, first of all shit. The stuff, I don't know. I'm just, I don't know.

Who knows? Who cares? First of all, there's no moral issue with it. So that's the aesthetic issue, obviously. If it turned a point where to be in drag, I really started to get old enough and male enough. I mean, as you get older as a man, your features don't convert as well to drag.

Do you think you're going to have a problem converting that thing to drag? A little bit. As it ages? Why? I mean, as long as this stays like, Where do you think it's going to go? It starts to hollow.

Like, pockets of your face start to lose volume and you start to see your male skull underneath. And then it's hard to be, you know what I'm talking about. I was like now you're speaking my language so but but you draw circles and squares yeah so what's what's the problem i don't know i said yeah i mean your canvas becomes a little bit more topographical than rather than flat you just have to go against the reality more i guess yeah and it doesn't happen overnight so there's nothing to worry about it's not like it doesn't no people don't wake up old no i oh god though i'll walk by the like um wherever and i'll see a my reflection in the mirror and i will like scream oh it's me

the go the scream the artwork yeah that's it um you should do a merch of that you as this that's the hole the gaping hole the gaping hole i don't want to gape i don't know i mean i love everyone i'm happy for gay sex i don't want to push the limits of my body in that way yeah it is like a very um i don't want to shove something up my dick hole. I don't want to shove. This thing is very, very popular. I don't want to do that.

Very popular. I don't even want to, I don't even want two dicks in it. So it's like a hundred percent, but okay. I was going to say like, help me understand this because I am, I totally understand wanting something or liking something and then gradually and progressively pushing it to the limit.

Of course, that makes a lot of sense to me. But how would you have any way to understand that? I can theoretically kind of, I can kind of, you know, um, but I don't, yeah, the, um, the, you've never had that feeling, that desire to like put a fist up your butt or whatever, or like get more up there. I, the extremeness of it isn't sexier to me and i think that's probably something that you have to enjoy you have to like that you're doing something extreme you know that has to be kind of a rush yeah that you're

like this is a little dangerous and weird uh-huh and because it's a little dangerous and weird it turns me on uh-huh i think that's probably where it comes from and i don't have that feeling i'm a little more of a Harlequin romance novel. Oh, draper, like drapes, more storyline. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, maybe I'm standing on a balcony. My husband just died. And then his brother came in to get his stuff. And then, Oh my God, from the trip,

he's so sweaty and he takes his shirt off. And I'm having sex with my late husband's brother. And I'm not sure how I feel about it. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's the sheets are in the drip or they're like billowing in the wind and and then i try to hang myself and he saves me and we have sex and i still have the noose around my neck stuff happens if you were gonna move

what's the dream vibe of your new like your home like what's the decoration vibe? Well, we just saw the dream. Well, the exterior. So I don't care about the, so I'm just going to assume I lived till 70. Let's just say that. Okay. I, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I know. I know. Just stretch the imagination, stretch the limits of your imagination for a moment. I'm going to say that I lived till 70. My, I'm my like first property that I buy, assuming that I continue to make any money. Um, I don't care about the exterior at all. Like,

so I don't care about the exterior at all. I just want the interior in the, the, the like yard space. There's any curb appeal. No, no. Why would I,

I mean the place that I'm moving to, especially like there's no, it's a nice place, but I don't like, you know, we're not going to sit on the sidewalk but like yes there that is my home right you know you go inside it and then you're like oh yeah um so you smoke outside right but that's the thing so backyard area that's the smoking that's the spot yeah lots of great little backyard areas but i we saw

um andrew showed me this place in um uh about probably like 10 minutes from here oh my god in the not like up in the hills it's just up the hill very like from um sunset or something or christmas holy shit this like it's all like tucked away in these, it's all forest, you know, like it's tucked away in the trees. You see this like red barn, barn looking place. Like I'm going to call it Victorian. That's not right. But like, it looks like a, like a red, like a red Victorian, it's not Victorian mansion. And it just looks so, it's like, oh, that's the one I want, you know, but it's too big yeah way too expensive obviously and honestly you want the space for the things you do and that's kind of it yeah like i i just outgrew this place and what i liked about it is if i only had one day at home i could clean the

whole place in a couple hours that's that's so that's like 1,300 square feet, one person. Yeah. That's what, that is my, my like metric for space. Because when you, when you get a lot of money, if you have, if you're lucky enough to earn a lot of money,

then you can go for, I mean, in America, it seems to be you buy as much as you can. Do you know what I mean? Like you, you spend what you have.

Like if you can afford a $5 million home, that's what you do. If you can afford um a five million dollar home that's what you do if you can get a ten million dollar home that's what you do even if you're one person well i'll tell you this it is a hassle to purchase conservatively and then you outgrow it yeah i should have gone bigger than this but i was scared because i never bought anything so expensive before yeah i mean well that's fine then but i but now i've only lived here two years i redecorated the whole thing and i'm leaving right that's annoying custom wallpapers custom like you know that's a bummer yeah i thought about keeping this place just for drag then i was like i have to come

over here to get in drag every time i'm gonna be here five six days a week that sucks yeah you would just right oh right like just youtube and drag here That's annoying Yeah I guess so I wanna wake up Walk 10 feet And get in drag Oh right right right right Oh yeah after having Yeah

Same thing yeah I just walked down I just wiggled down the studio Yeah I love that It's amazing Very lucky Do you remember drag like Drag in the bedroom

Remember having drag in your home All the time Well I had a studio apartment I know It was It was everywhere It was everywhere You're talking about Boston Boston That studio apartment. I know. It was everywhere. It was everywhere.

Boston. That was a huge studio. It was a huge studio. Actually, that was bigger than the studio. Yeah, it's huge. Yeah, it was huge. It was crazy.

I love that place. But I remember settling for less. I was like, something's wrong with the bathroom. Something's wrong with anything. I would just accept it. Accept it. Because it's a renter. Yeah, I was just like, oh, I don't know. I don't want to be a wrong with anything. I would just accept it. Accept it. Because it's a renter.

Yeah. I was just like, oh, I don't know. I don't want to be a burden on anybody. I'll just accept it. The perfect tenant. Yeah. You want to move in here? I'm like.

I'm like. You want to move in here? No lights. That's fine. Candles are good. You know. Yeah. Well.

The pink drink. What you got there? The pink drink. What's in that? What's in that? It's like strawberry. Caffeine strawberry. Caffeine strawberry? A's in that? It's like strawberry, caffeine strawberry. Caffeine strawberry?

A little milk. Caffeine strawberry. A little milk? I got to say something. What? Trixie Motel starts today. Congratulate. Congratulations.

Thank you. Congratulations. My new record comes out in about a month We'll be on tour at the time I just saw it somewhere It's so pretty Can I show it quick It's so pretty Really gorgeous Albert did it It's so sick

It's a double album It's this and this. So when you open it, yeah, it's all together. Oh, it's secret poster. Yeah.

And it has a poster. So this comes out. And then most importantly, you and I are touring us touring Australia, New Zealand. I believe we have a few tickets left in some of those cities. It's like crazy. And then we're coming to,

we've announced Europe and UK. There's only a few cities we aren't making it to that I wish we were doing Reykjavik. I wish we were doing. I know. I wish we were going, well, I don't know

if we're going to Asia. Maybe we are. I hope at some point. I really want to go to Hong Kong. And we're doing America again. Yeah. Mary, I think Radio City Hall has 15 tickets left.

Radio City Music Hall, yeah, it's sold out, essentially. It's sold out, essentially. 6,000 seats. I know. It's so crazy. That's fucking crazy. I know. It's wild.

It's wild. I hope those fags in the back have good vision. I know. Honestly, bring the binoculars. Bring the opera glasses. Bring the opera gloves. I know. We have jumbotrons.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there's jumbotrons and stuff i don't know it's just but if you want to see us in any of these cities and because there's a lot more american cities get the tickets now because i just looked at the report today and they're gonna be sold out again all of them yeah that's really cool it's really very cool crazy yeah it's very cool i mean two years ago covid we thought we'd maybe never perform yeah which had a fierceness to it i was like i have been recently fantasizing about this those first few months of covid besides the terror yeah yeah yeah

when so yeah the yeah when everybody who i owed things to was saying let's put on hold we don't know when we'll start again and my job was to sit in here and do nothing that was sickening yeah you like that one simpler times yeah simpler time it's a far cry from club another club another club which is what i'm doing this weekend but yeah well good luck girl happy pride to you happy pride are you gonna celebrate pride in any way um i'm just gonna do the same thing just kick rocks in my little patio you want you want to wear like a rainbow rainbow flag what do you think of the kids You know like high school age kids will wear rainbow capes as a flag. Rainbow flags as a cape.

I think that's great. Good for them. Yeah, you go gay. You go gay. And listen to Sylvester. Yeah. Well, I put my disco pants on in the morning and then wear my platform shoes and I sing I'm Coming Out as I get out of the shower.

And then I just, you know, it's fist it's fisting poppers k g screaming um crying getting a driving badly to my next um to the whatever club we're going to that night yeah and it's kind of just the same rinse and repeat just being gay happy pride yeah you know what i mean yeah yeah every year that's right every year deba every year we do g k e t and just you know what else about pride? If you're going to do drugs, do them as safely as possible and wear sunblock. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great question.

The level of sunburns at pride every year. Well, yeah. It's the killer. The silent killer. Skin damage. All you pale nasties out there. And with that, thanks again for listening to another riveting episode and we'll see you next time. Yes, next time we'll be reporting from...

Oh yeah, damn it. We got to have vanity on the pod. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. Have we had vanity on the pod? No. To Courtney. Courtney, yeah. We got to have vanity.

Vanity, we're coming for you. Okay. Bye. we're coming for you bye