The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - How to Successfully Converse with Gen Alpha with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: July 30, 2024

Do you goon on BookTok? Are you rizzing after peeping a gyatt at Taco Junk while reading Colleen Hoover? Do you spend your Saturdays being chalant while flicker gooning and running duos with the GOAT? If you didn't reply to those questions with, "I'm doing W, honestly. On skib," then you are in desperate need of "Trixie and Katya's Guide to Hawk-Tuah'ing One's Drake." For just $99 plus shipping and handling, you will never feel L again, and finally be the glizzy-glazing Sigma you always knew yourself to be. Call 1-900-Skibidi-Rizz now to order your copy. You have to check out the new softside Luggage from Away! Head on over to https://AwayTravel.com/BALD to see the new softside lineup, in 4 beautiful colors!  Take the guesswork out of buying concert tickets with Gametime! Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code BALD for $20 off your first purchase! Head to https://Gametime.co for more info! Last minute tickets. Lowest Price. Guaranteed. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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A strong ally to support your next level success? You will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue.yorku.ca. You guys, I... Ooh, that wheeze. I'll tell you this. I don't have COVID. Wait, are we rolling?

I guess. What are they going to do? The real question is, are you listening? Okay, so... Girl, I got sick last... Excuse me. Excuse your whore mouth. Do you have an Apple Watch?

Don't you find those to be like... Don't you find those to be like... I don't know. Think about Eve in the garden. Did she like the apple? I think we all know what that means. I've been really into God. Super into God.

I'm going away for three months to a bible camp by what about what about a bible thumper what about a good old-fashioned fucking sixth grade like cargo shorts bible in the shorts pocket have you heard the news i love well i love i love thumping the bible. Love it. Like, what is it? You beat it against a rock. No books here, okay. But, you know, they just got like, they're just thumping. Thumping.

Let's get it thumping. You take the Bible and you fucking, there's a fire. And you get really into it. I am obsessed with people going down to the river. Nose plug. And now you're saved. Love. Excuse me. That isn't even a holy candle to the Orthodox baptisms where those bearded fucking priests take the baby by the feet and go dunk.

Love that. Dunk. Dunk. How do they not die? Well, you gotta teach babies to swim young. That is important. They,

they literally go. They know they it's, it's dunkaroos. It's crazy. That's Bible dump. That's Bible Duncan. If I had a church, we would have a cheese fondue.

Okay. And we take the baby's little feet. We dip it in. We suck the cheese off and we go home with that with that wait would it would a cheese and a chocolate fondue burn you like not if you're pure pure heart it burns the center babies is it hot is it hot i mean is it hot is the cheese hot yeah yeah is it burning hot boiling it's so if you like if you threw a cheese fondue at someone would it burn them can I say that I'm not I'm not classy

enough to ever have experienced fondue so I don't know I'm gonna go I'm gonna argue that fondue is nothing nothing I think it's elegant really I thought it's trashy in the comeback when Lisa Kudrow's having the premiere of her show, she has a fondue fountain in her house. And what do you do? You fucking stick shit in there? So I think if it's a chocolate fondue fountain, you have strawberries, you have banana pieces, you dip it, you chomp, you dip it, you chomp.

I don't like any of that. But you don't like chocolate or cheese? I like chocolate. I don't like cheese. But I don't like strawberries with chocolate. Oh, okay. I love that. You do?

I love that. What do? I love that. What do you dip it in a chocolate fondue? Well, I've never done it. Graham crackers. That sounds great. Banana pieces. Oh, strawberries, raspberries. Perhaps.

Marshmallows. Marshmallow. Marshmallow. A marshmallow. What about Plastique pulling those marshmallows out of her thing and cooking them on her boobs? What are you? Oh, that has an airhead.

This will be out much later, though. It will be out after. Oh. Are you sure? Yeah. Okay. So wait, I subbed for you on the pit stop. Yes, I was sick.

Ill. Which really concerned me, actually. It sucked. Can I say what the first thing that I thought came to my mind well i called you but you didn't answer i thought someone i thought there was a death that's someone i thought there was a death yeah i i didn't think you died but i thought there was somebody very close to you died and why can't you consider that i would die because i feel like somebody would have told me. Right. She can't come to work. She's, she just can't come to work.

And then I find out a week later, she's dead. If that tells you how sick I was, not even calling you and giving a heads up was on my top. I just was on the couch.

I was like, I was like, I thought something very wrong was happening. It was wrong. Okay. Diarrhea, coughing,

fevers, 101.8. The nurse came to the house and said, if it hits 102, you might want to go to the hospital. It was so bad. Oh my God. So that's terrible, but I have something that's even worse. What? This thing under my fingernail. Oh no. Can you tell me what that is?

I can. What is it? It's your fingernail. I don't know. It hurts really bad. It's jammed under there. Yeah. It hurts so bad.

What's the game plan here? Wait it out? I think you got to fish it out with a stick pin. It's very country, but I always think like you can just do your own surgery. That's what I was. I looked online and it said I could do that, but I don't want to like stab the flesh of the underside of the... You like bath?

I tried that. Hot, hot bath? Dip, dip, dip? Yeah, I tried submerging the hand. I was like, oh, it'll just come out. It didn't work. Damn. Yeah.

It really crippled me that day during my makeup. I was one-handed. Thank God it was my left hand. How did it turn out? What? Did it turn out okay, the makeup? Oh, it was great. Well... I was just being dramatic. Oh, okay. Well well we'll see you on camera with bob you're good you're good that being said

i was so happy bob bob called me and said trixie i'm sorry you're sick i'm doing the pit stop tomorrow and i was so happy because i i felt bad because we've tried to get you on this season and last season three times total yeah it was fun it was. It is fun. It was fun. Bob was a hoot. He showed up. It was very like, hey, can you come now? He shaved there and then he

put on, I hope he doesn't get mad at me, but he put on an outfit that was like it was it was it was nice it was it was it was nice but it was it was nice but it was well i mean i i don't really know what his drag looks like these days to be quite honest i mean he came in to do the this pod and he showed up in a large suit that didn't fit with gold earrings on like gold grandma earrings he's like i know this suit doesn't fit i lost a lot of weight but at least i have these earrings

it's just so fucking weird but the great thing about a suit that once it gets way too big for you then it's fashion it was on the way but it wasn't quite diane keaton yet right you know what i mean it wasn't like over you know it wasn't like apple of the year it wasn't like oversized like new york moment kind of thing right um but he's like sitting there first i got i got a moment to pick with those pit stop people god damn that set is uncomfortable those fucking stools give me a break it's tough those are long days you're perched well it was only one episode so that was fine it was i was talking about you guys had a late start because we only did one episode it was when i do that shit that's what they said in the morning that's what they said

you know my pickup time to get to the studio out of drag was 9 45 a.m. cunty super cunty i feel like that's the only way they knew I would do it. 100%. Do you know that I did one a day with Jan and I still had to be there early? They still made us come so early. So for you, I bet they kind of tempered their expectation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Bob showed up and he wore like, I mean, not that I was a great beauty by any means. Right.

We're going to roll the tapes here. Yeah. Because me and Andrew had worked all day the previous day on this outfit that I just didn't finish. I had to put a zipper in it, fucked it up totally. And so I had to just wear something I wore the other day. But I thought it looked lovely. And Bob had a cat suit on, like a performance outfit. And it's always funny in those contexts to wear a performance outfit.

It's kind of weird. It's weird to sit and wear like a one-armed catsuit yeah like he was wearing a sequined um like literally a number outfit and i would have for a number and this wig she had a wig on huh yeah to pull out this wig she's like fiona can you do something to this it was um it was so fun though it takes a village yeah i felt so bad but you know i um i had to fucking dj avida saturday and i mean the pool party yes were people like having sex to talk to you were people having sexual i need a witness i agreed to do it it was in malibu day comes and i go oh it's normally in hollywood it's normally in hollywood it's normally 10 minutes from this studio five minutes can't go far away here

Malibu it's 2 hours away how am I going to get there he was like I don't know so I messaged the group chat I go is there a ride situation they were like can you get a ride and I said with whom with one of the horse with God catch a trade wind

fuck I hope I end up with some pirates did you have to Uber to Malibu I got a car service okay so I kind of splurged I don't even know what I was God, catch a trade wind. Fuck. Help I end up with some pirates. Did you have to Uber to Malibu? I got a car service. Okay. So I kind of splurged. I don't even know what I was getting paid, but I splurged on the car. So I had to ride.

Yeah. Baby. Well, you had to go in drag, right? No. Oh. Of course not. Oh. It was too hot.

Oh, yes. Too hot. Ah, caca. No good. So, girl, I get there and they go, this is the gate. And they go, oh, you're not allowed to enter from here. You have to go down the street to this lot where this shuttle's going to pick you up. And I go, but the car dropped me off at the car is leaving. I'm here now.

And they're like, but we can't let you in. You need to go back down the street, get on the shuttle. The DJ. You're the DJ. You're the DJ. Yeah. And I go, but I'm here. And they were like, but you have to get back in the car.

I said, but the car's leaving. I'm dropped off? But I'm here. And they were like, but you have to get back in the car. I said, but the car's leaving. I'm dropped off. My body's here. The car's leaving. And he was like, no, you need to get in the car, go and ride the shuttle here. So then I'm waiting for the shuttle at a bus stop with a bunch of fucking gay people. People in like shitty like crop tops and stuff, you know. And I'm sitting there waiting, waiting, waiting.

And then they're loading up this van and this guy's going, we got one more. We got one more. Is there one more? We just van and this guy's going, we got one more. We got one more. Is there one more? We just need one more. We got a seat for one more. I said, who the fuck came out to Malibu alone? Drive the bus. Single rider.

Drive the bus. Single rider to Malibu. Who the fuck came out here alone? You're on the bus to Malibu? To Malibu. You're working there i get in the shuttle right down the street shuttle full of homosexuals the trail of queers thank you god i get there again when i go in love it love it everybody's so nice it's a great party the evita summer party is

so fun okay and it's normally in a mansion this time it's a mansion in malibu so it's like looking on the ocean gay gay gay amanda lapore's booked and you know she i go for that is looking on the ocean. Gay, gay, gay. Amanda Lepore is booked. And you know, I go for that. Is she on the bus? Probably. Amanda Lepore had to get the bus. That's what I heard. Is the bus still running? Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

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Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi. Everyone's just running on her back. Buckle up, everyone. We're going to the pool party. So we go to the pool party. I DJ my little one hour. So fun, so easy, so cool. I love my music I picked. What are you playing for the gay people? Well, I did some of my set that I did for Dolce & Gabbana the week before in Italy. So I kind of like pulled that shit and did it there. And it was really fun.

Fun, fun, fun. And you know, hour DJing. By the time you get in your groove, it's over. Love that. But all day, I'm not feeling good. Start the day with three diarrheas. Take the to malibu holding give me one diarrhea and i'll then i do my dj set and i'm wearing a tank top no i'm wearing a white fiorici t-shirt with shorts with no underwear so if i did have diarrhea it's just so the whole time i'm DJing, I look loose and fun, but it is the death clench.

It is a witch's cold grasp on the whole. Beckoning. Just please stay close. You know what I mean? It's don't. I hear you knocking. It was wild. So then I get in the fucking Uber or the car home, the car service home. They pick me up down the street because I can't even leave out of that door.

What is with this fucking door? It was not the tea. What is this? Whose house was this? Oh, no. Was it a rented? Was it Mary J. Blige's abandoned mansion? The hateration and the holleration and the dancer.

It was Mary J. Blige's 60 million dollar abandoned mansion with graffiti in it so I ride all the way back to LA okay an hour and a half two hours try not to puke try not to try not to diarrhea try not to blow ass in the car and I actually fall asleep and sleep for I think two days because I got so sick

the fever was so fierce so then it's Sunday I'm supposed to do hot dog Sundays. No ideas at all. Sid God. And I have to cancel and I feel so bad. But again, diarrhea waits for no one.

Do you want to do it at home or go do it at a club in front of people? And there's nothing like burning the shit out of your asshole. Literally. Yeah. It was almost like God made up a decision for me. There was no way for me to be like, can I push through? You can't push through.

No. Unless you have a maxi pad, the size of a roll of paper towel. That's going to soak up fecal water. You're going to be corked. Girl. You're going to be corked. I need them to get a plumber with a snake,

put it up my ass and run it on full speed the whole time. I'm DJing for a four hour. You just have a shop back. You have a shop back connected. You have a shop vac connected. Yes. Or one of those vacuums in the UK with the nose and the two eyeballs. What? You know those vacuums in the UK that have a face on them?

No, I don't. Okay, let's take a break. Bye. Are you Dave, a claims-free hybrid-driving university grad who signed up online? Well, Dave, this jingle's for you. Who saves with TD Insurance? Because he's a claims-free hybrid-driving university grad who signed up online. It's Dave.

Not Dave? No problem. TD Insurance has over 30 ways to save on home and auto. So... You can totally save just not exactly like dave save like only you can at td insurance.com slash ways to save td ready for you what kind of vacuum you got um i got the um dyson pet pro mama i don't have pets but i don't fuck with it mama let me tell you something if i can't pick up furniture with my vacuum i don't fuck with it. Mama, let me tell you something. If I can't pick up furniture with my vacuum, I don't need it. I got something that's going to take...

We're talking cage matches of vacuums. Yeah. My vacuum will fuck yours up, no question. What kind is it? It's a Mila. M-I-E... Kunis? Oh, my God.

Mila Kunis goes around your apartment and sucks debris off the floor? She sucks everything up. Mila Kunis sucks. Like a Hoover. That's horrible. I meant it like a vacuum. the floor. She sucks everything up like a Hoover. Mila Kunis sucks. Like a Hoover. That's horrible. I meant it like a vacuum. They're going to click it.

Like a Hoover. Like a Hoover. She speaks Russian. She does. Really? Yeah, yeah. Mila is such a beautiful name. Yeah, she's so beautiful.

If your name's Mila, you're a hot bitch, I think. Yeah, and if you're a vacuum, you suck the shit out of anything. Tea. But it's a bag, though. Okay. So the big compromise that people have to make, and if you go to Beverly Hills, it's not Beverly Hills, it's in West Hollywood on the way to Beverly Hills,

like past Robertson on Santa Monica. Brentwood. It's like Brentwood, OJ, Merlin, Nicole Brown Simpson. Always go to Brentwood. Who the fuck wants to live over there? Girl. Girl. Back to the vacuum store. Yeah. So you you go in they give you a little demonstration they pour a bunch of kitty

litter or like yeah i think it was like kitty litter on the floor or kitty he dropped a bunch of flash drives of kitty porn on the floor and if you don't if you don't suck them all up you get arrested do you know about that shit do you know about that shit kiddie porn oh dude do you know about that shit the that the big news item while i was fucking in seattle humiliating myself at gay pride was um the austin wolf who is a yes i know i got nabbed for um like child like having troves and troves of fucking very horrifying like can i i saw some of the descriptions the ages i read some of the descriptions and i was like yeah by the way 17 is children 10 is children everything's children okay these what they had described in some of these things was things that should not happen ever never mind be videotaped and and shared you know what i mean it's just like skin crawling like can i just say i was googling to that i worry that

okay what makes pedophiles happen right something people happen to become pedophiles not by choice they are attracted to children how do we as a society actually help these people and like prevent these things from happening yeah or rehabilitate people what is that like i don't know i don't know either and i know that but i i yeah line them up and shoot them it's not compassionate you know what i mean no i know but i wish there was a way people could be like oh i'm having these thoughts and feelings i should seek help right and also if they're but i think maybe i'm wrong but i and i think that there's maybe too broad of um of a too broad a scope of behaviors that would label someone a sex offender or or put them on the sex offender registry like um like this for example is pretty

extreme we're like actually doing something that this person had in these videos like would be like yikes your life in prison or whatever yeah but then like something that is less intense i don't know it's just don't forget don't don, creating kiddie porn versus owning it, obviously those are different level offenses. Yes, right, right, right, right, yeah. I just wish there was more, I just, when these situations, I'm always like, how did we get from this person being born to committing this totally harmful crime?

And how can we intervene before the crime, before the, you know what I mean? Help people somehow, I don't know. I know, I always think about that scene in Spotlight where like, i think it was like amy adams no rachel i don't know rachel mcadams i think was like they're investigating the church scandal in boston into in the year 2000 or around that time and she goes to the residence of one of the priests and she's like um did you basically ask them point blank did you you like, did you molest these children? It's like, yeah. And he just says,

yes. He was like, of course it did happen to me. Right. He was just like, oh yeah. I mean, I didn't want to even like that. It was like so fucked up.

I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

back to vacuuming. This vacuum literally. So the, the, with the Dyson, the tantalizing seduction of the Dyson, of course, no bag. Right. Right.

Battery. Lightweight. Yeah, relatively. Battery sucks. Shit. Not fierce. Not fierce whatsoever. No.

In fact, if you put it on the highest setting, you get a good 45 seconds of power. Literally. No, no. Less than 15 minutes, for sure. Less than five. Less than five. It's bad. than it's bad it's really bad and then the highest setting is the only way that you can really like attack an area plus those things just don't they don't they just don't work as well when i when i decided to get this thing very expensive um it was a big adjustment going back to the cord in the bag but let me tell you that floor it's

fierce it's fucking fierce you clean your own house i cleaned the other one because it was really small right and i um and i i'm having cleaners come over to this my new place for the first time and i have to do the pre-clean before the clean do you know what i'm talking about yes and i know that's so bougie so bougie like oh i have a cleaners over but like you know it's not really like it's not i realize it's like don't be a hero and like struggle to clean your own place if you don't if you're depressed or you don't have the time or if you're busy you know i mean or filthy or won't do it yourself or lazy or lazy or just don't know what dirty is um have you ever been to someone's house oh my god i remember this one guy i hooked up with once

this one guy hooked up with once i walked in and i felt like i could smell his mattress from the front door yeah and he led me into the bedroom and i i was like oh so we just don't wash bedding in this home and not to mention you look nothing like your daughter so i was like what did you do did you get do you make a graceful exit you know i sort of tried to be like well you know not somebody having a clean house okay and i couldn't get over the hump of it i was like the really dirty apartment smell the apartment bedroom just now there's a smell yeah like a stuffy like old mattressy old blanket matted blanket grandpa joe's bed rot kind of vibe piss aunt georgina's piss puddle in bed. Were the jars of piss at least arranged in a, in a,

by color, by color and kind of viscosity. I mean, I went, listen, I went into the basement apartment of a person. Very attractive to all. I'd never been to this place before.

Very attractive, very attractive, very put together. Had a great job. Just like on paper i was like this person is like comes from money they have they're very attractive always well whereas designer clothes it was it was unimaginable no it was i it was it was a garden level basement apartment basement that's hard no light yeah it's hard anyway because it's not not well lit there was food everywhere over the floor cat shit

everywhere over the floor there was trash it was it was it looked like um it kind of looked like a crack house the basement and ma oh no that looked like the sistine of looked like a crack house. The basement in Ma. Oh no. That looked like the Sistine Chapel compared to this. It was like, it was truly, truly shocking. And I didn't want, and I didn't want to spend more than three or four seconds in there. It was like, it was just scary. It was actually scary.

Do you think Octavia Spencer likes Ma? I hope she does. I hope she does too. There's no movie like it. It's very camp. It is. I'm sure she knew what she was doing when they put that wig on her. Yeah.

Yeah. What a fun wig. Love it. Fun wig. Yeah. I just love a dog blood transfusion. Yeah, of course. When she hit Missy Piles with the car.

Girl. That was really fierce. I love the iron on the skin. There's a lot of things that That was really fierce. I love the iron on the skin. There's a lot of things that's great about it. I remember the iron on the skin. I remember at the end when she paints the one guy white. Oh, yeah. Irons the guy.

Oh, yeah. I remember she sews the lips up. When she has the gun and makes the teenage boy take off his clothes. Oh, I know. He's got a great butt, though. That teenager? Yeah. Shut up, Hito.

There you go. There you go. Austin Wolf in the studio. Oh, my God. That's so sad. I feel just sad not sad for yeah sad for the situation the idea of and the production of possession of and and and forwarding of yeah child sex crimes yeah it's wild horrible yes it's like really really skin crawling but you know what and also the um what's interesting is that uh because i

am i know a lot of people who do porn professionally there's a lot of people in his orbit who i think are receiving or being scrutinized or like being attacked and like like of course you knew about this you've like i mean and i don't think that's necessarily true i you literally could have smut films killing't think that's necessarily true i you literally could have smut films killing people on your computer how would i know that yeah they're listen and yeah that's i was thinking about it was like no i mean for someone with like me who tells everybody everything i still have secrets like i'm not bad ones but like i there are still things that i do not tell right you know what i mean it is perfectly possible i think for a person to have

a very very dark secret that they don't tell anybody right besides the people that they're you know right canoodling with in that in that like gross sort of dark underworld but i don't think yeah it's just so crazy i feel lucky that what i'm naturally attracted to is not punishable by law yeah do you know what i mean yeah i like adults having sex with adults yeah well i can't imagine how i don't know what those people's interior conversations on how they i don't know yeah i don't know either i mean i also don't know about this is certainly not a crime but it's it's interesting is that um that clip that went around about the guy who's like dating a guy who's like I think he's like 90 and it's

there on he's been on Silver Daddies which is like a you know looking for old mature men yeah and he like wants a 95 year old but he wouldn't go for that because he doesn't have a lot of time left isn't that fascinating because he wants a real relationship

yeah yeah so he's like his maybe he can get like a yeah. So he, his like, his, his. Maybe he can get like a Mrs. Doubtfire boyfriend who like will cosplay old. Alexis Stone. Six Flags guy, like a mask sort of. Me. For sure you. I have three different ones.

You think you can pass the 90? In that mask, absolutely. All those masks. Yeah. Oh, you thought it was just me and also your dick is already so wrinkly it never gets hard and those wiry

pubes stick straight oh my god going out of your pubes pubes I hate that word I hate it puby Wilson oh I hate it I hate that expression and I also hate the and I hate the I hate that expression and I also hate

the sort of correct term pubic hair there's something about pubic I don't like it I hate pubes I hate the word it's so what about

I hate pubes I hate panties panties is pretty hate panties. Panties is pretty rough. Yeah. Panties is so fucking weird. I hate. Panty check. Panty check is different than panties. I have a huge issue with bussy.

Bussy is unacceptable. Yeah. And that's verging on a sex crime. I think that. What about James Bond and Octobussy? Jane Gum and Octobussy. Jane Gum and Octobussy. Jane Gum is Octobussy. Octobussy of eight buttholes.

Eight pussy asses. You know, what about pussy ass? What would you rather? You're a pussy ass. What is that? Would you rather have some fucking uh similarly aged gay man lover say yeah whatever they say i don't know fuck that what do they say what would you say like gay men like what would they say like fuck my butt like what do they say what do they say

What do they say? What do they say? Like are they having sex? Who's they? Gay guys I don't talk I don't do that shit I don't do that gay guy shit What do they say? Fuck my butt?

Who's they? Gay guys? Gay guys Gay guys What the fuck I don't do that I think they say like I don't do that shit I think they say like I think hole is probably more Fuck my hole

Okay so I don't think it's fuck my butt That's so whack Oh fuck my butt Oh please fuck my butt Listen later You would like to fuck my butt What do the gay guys say? fuck my butt. Oh, please fuck my butt. Later. You would like to fuck my butt. What did you guys say?

Fuck my butt. No, like, but would they, so would you rather say fuck my pussy or fuck my pussy ass? What would you rather have them say? Mary. Mary. Ain't nobody saying pussy ass. No, no, no. Kitty cringes.

Mary. Nobody is saying pussy. Are you sure? I would say, I'd be like, you want to fuck my pussy ass. No, no, no. Kitty cringes. Mary, nobody is saying pussy ass. Are you sure? I'd be like, you want to fuck my pussy ass? You like my pussy ass? What about you saying my pussy ass? Fuck my pussy ass with your genus.

And now we're getting a dialogue going. It makes you think of French class and it'd be like, my would be like did you work on your dialogue dialogue your dialogue remember when you had to go in front of the class and have a fake ass scenario happen never girl you have to go in front of the class and you have to be like all right uh my character's name is ahmed and this is twee and we're going to talk about our classes and you'd have to have a french ass conversation in front of the class about you're like you're kidding oh j'aime l'histoire et toi oh it was like wow we never i would have found that harrowing and absolutely paralyzing acne and bad at the language if you sit and pretend to talk to each other forget it nobody was ever good at my french class besides me yeah it was like and i and i had to temper my um because

i did not want to be that person because i have a really good french accent and for an american you didn't want to unleash no i'm i'm serious because no tea no shade my french accent was better than my teachers whom i loved yeah she loves her i love her she's like is that is that we've talked about her yeah she has the twitch yeah she uh angel still alive i'm sure exactly but i didn't want to be like you know i didn't want to be like that fucking nerd but also the other side of that is like 15 year old white girl wisconsin girls being like badgerger, Toulomane, Osher Dewey. It's awful. I think even the French people are like, don't try to learn our language and don't talk to my family

ever again. It sounds like you're speaking out of your pussy ass. Your pussy ass. Why is the French accent so difficult? Because American is all front of the mouth and French is back of the throat. Everything's swallowed, which is why I think African French is easier because it's more open mouth.

Like it's very difficult for American people to say the French word for rarely. It's all in the back. Like, that's really hard. Yeah. And if you don't get it, you're not going to get it. No, but is that true though? Well, I went to college with a Caucasian girl who was studying Spanish and couldn't roll her R's.

And I always felt like that must be tough to be the blonde white girl who can't roll the R's in the Spanish major. You have to, you have to. Well, there was a famously in my high school, the, the, the department of foreign language, the department head of foreign language the department head of foreign languages french and spanish she was a spanish teacher with the worst spanish accent go i mean it was like giving talk soy uh contento para usted um it was like it was like it was like oh but i would say if you can't do it go this go the other she did not give a

fuck she was just like i look like an egg and i'm gonna talk like this and i'm gonna control all of you it was crazy when i went to france in high school the teacher from the other school who went with us it was like two schools going together the teacher from the other school had that level french and it was humiliating to hear her talk to like a bus driver and then have the bus person be like, huh? Because also. What are you saying? I'm like, this is our instructor. Yeah.

It's also when you're learning Parisian accented French, you kind of can't understand a really bad accent. you kind of can't understand a really bad accent. Like there were often times where like, I couldn't understand what my classmates were saying because it sounds, it does not correct. So it's like as a foreign language teacher, you have to be able to have a, a really like tuned ear for like, I mean,

sure. It's like a music teacher. Like, okay, that's supposed to be a G, but it's not. Right. And how do I, how do you know what that's, you know, I mean, sure. It's like a music teacher. Like, okay, that's supposed to be a G, but it's not. Right. And how do I,

how do you know what that's? You know what I mean? Yeah. It's really difficult. I don't know. Well, what makes you, what makes people good at accents as a dialect coach?

I think listening a lot. I think listening like the only accents I'm good at are people I've known or things I'm obsessed with that I've heard a million times. What about this new linguistic discovery that I made in Chicago? What the Sigma? He's got a level 10 Riz. No cap. Oh, the youths. Yeah. Gen alpha. he's got a level 10 Riz. No cap. Oh, the youths.

Yeah. Gen alpha. Gen alpha. Is that after Z? Yes. Okay, works. Now we're getting somewhere. I'm going to go munt my grandma in Ohio.

Like, I think he knows what I'm talking about. you know what that is it's brain rot it's brain rot and i'm gonna i gotta i just i wish i had a clip um what is it it's brain rot it's brain rot it's fucking crazy and you need to listen to this weird fucking thing. Please, can I find it? My living constant fear of the youth is making fun of me on the internet. No, this is, sorry, sorry. No, no, no. Don't, please don't get angry.

It's going to happen. No, let's get that. Get it right. I feel like Olivia Benson. Oh. Baby Gronk? Baby Gronk, is that you? No, I'm Quandale Dingle. Baby Gronk. Gritted off to Ohio. I know that Olivia Benson. Oh. It's just alcohol. Baby Gronk. Acting like a kid. It's just alcohol. You don't need to. This isn't like you, Baby Gronk. And what do you know, Libby Dunn? You never watched my streams.

You never clipped me. I did. You had my munt. And you flushed it down the skivvity toilet. Please, that's just... Listen, please. Why should I? I don't skivvity.

I was locked in. I was W about us. I was doing tricks on you. You were glazing. But you? You already have a Sigma. No, that's... Go edge him for all I care.

No, wait. I thought I clutched, but... You did. I guess I just have bad reign. No, you have good reign. on you were glazing you you already have a sigma no that's go edge him for all i care no wait i thought i clutched but i guess i just have bad rain oh you're good just listen to what i have to yeah baby he's my ex sigma we're not duos anymore he was just picking up his rose to him i'm gone on me baby on me wow it's so this one uh Can I get a double chunk chocolate Blumpkin, extra felch, and a side of corn? I guess I can say only. The hockey way? What the Sigma?

Hi. What's your app? Libby Dunn. Baby Gronk. Who taught you about this? I stumbled upon it. Who taught you about this? I don't. I stumbled upon it. Who taught you about this? No, I stumbled on it.

It was a stumble. I like tripped and fell into a Gen Alpha brain rot puddle. Do they know what it is? I think they do. They do. And what's fascinating to me about it is that it's like one of those, you know, like in drag speak, we got about four words. Yeah. I mean, there's a pretty sparse vocabulary and so in in pretty and then it devolves into like one word could mean literally anything like how cunty is like something great something bad something mediocre something wonderful something really terrible lately

when something's really bad like i say it's cunty i'm like it's cunty yeah yeah i'm like oh our plane is delayed until tomorrow it's cunty that boeing crashed into the ocean it's cunty when the worst it is i'm like this is this way it's so cunty but that like that baby gronk like uh baby gronk had such low riz that he like munted in the skibbity toilet with his grandma in ohio that's not a good example but it's kind of getting there so there's like riz is like charisma i believe level 10 riz gatt is like a butt i think it's like a big butt or like okay and then um skibbity toilet i just baby gronk um there's this thing called this is not this is not our world no remember that whose world is it that moment in the hocus pocus where that kid lights the black flame candle yeah we have no business here no i know

and i'm not a part of it i know and i don want to be. They're laughing at us. Look at them. Those fucking, they're laughing at us. What the sigma? Mary, we're not young. I know. We're just gay. I know. That's all we have. And it's not even good.

I know, but I want to know the origin. So what are the origins of it? I did like a boomer urban dictionary deep dive into all these terms. And I'm like, oh, it's from video games. Duh. Oh, see, I mean, yeah, I know about a lot. Okay. The ones I do recognize is one of the video game items.

I learned that from James Mansfield. Okay. What does it mean? I don't know. I think it means like for real. Like no shit or like. Yeah. I think it means like for real. Like no shit? Yeah, I think it means like yes. Did you see RuPaul's Parallel Parking video?

No. Baby. Do you want to talk about parallel parking? Follow me. The secret to parallel parking is the passenger side door or PSD. Your PSD has a front seat and a back seat. The car in front of your parking spot is giving parking instructions while Sabrina Carpenter espresso. Your car side by side with car a about 12 inches apart.

Put your car into reverse. And once the back seat of your PSD is aligned with the rear. This I know. Yeah, I know. But RuPaul in her spare time is like, I'm going to teach the children to drive. Well, she is famously a great driver and a lover of cars. Okay. You know that?

Yeah, she's a lover. She's been a lover of cars for a long, long time. But aren't we all? No. Oh. Do you like going somewhere and not walking? Then you love cars. I sold my car.

And guess what? I think I regret it. You sold? Then you love cars. I sold my car. And guess what? I think I regret it. You sold, I loved your car. I sold it. Because you were afraid of the foreclosure. Yeah. I panicked. I went to CarMax and they gave me a check within like 12 seconds.

It was really weird. They were like, oh, you have a car? Boop. Oh. But it was a great chunk of change, you know. But then whatever. i don't know i i live in an area now that's a little bit more walkable but walking in this heat with my neck this skippity neck with that neck no where is he my neck your neck has no ribs

no cap no back no crack nothing this neck is vulnerable wow and i'm not wearing one of those hats with the hair that covers it you walk in places with this neck with my neck with my fucking wait again i gotta talk to you throw a neck for ketchup girl run me my barbecue girl run me my ketchup what do you want a blow job you want me to you want to give you a blow job you want me to throw neck for ketchup the best part of that video there's this video of delta work let's just play it it's so funny it's so so funny it's all i care about it's so funny it's that in love pink oh love pink i can't stop saying it love pink did you see the joe biden thing love pink listen look at listen to this delta work shit this shit sets me fucking free by By the way, I see Gypsy Rose is having a baby. Did you see that?

Walking in circles to the lost hits of Sheen East. Baby. Oh my God, I said Barry. I got something to say. I got something to say. Please. The first thing I have to talk about. The first thing.

You listen to me. Skibbity toilet. You fucking listen to me. This is the first thing I have to say. Mama, that's a terrifier. That's the terrifier. That's the terrifier. That's the terrifier. It's actually everything.

It's the terrifier. If I was a Gen Alpha in my little airplane seat and I looked over and saw Ms. Thing do that, I would think that's the stare of the devil and I am cursed for life. So fierce. I can't find this Delta Work video, but she goes, she goes $25 an hour. She goes, I bet between screeching into this microphone and walking in a circle, performing Sheena Easton lost heads.

I bet I don't make $25 an hour. She is so funny. You got to find it. Come on, fire up the control room. You got a computer to miss thing. Come on. Why do we have to do all the production?

Between phones, but they both got a computer and a phone and they're just on their skippity toilet what do we have to do all the production um why does she why are she and i responsible for the run me my barbecue run me my ketchup what do you want me to give you a blow job you want me to throw neck for ketchup it's so i thought about it it popped into my mind at one in the morning in my bed convulsing laughing convulsive laughter like concerning concerning laughter what do you want me to give you a blowjob to throw neck for ketchup it's so funny oh thank you okay we got it all right i'm gonna play it the kids now this is from by the way very Very Delta. Delta, just go watch Delta.

When I open a TikTok, this is God, I'm boom. Just please do it. No, I got it, I got it. I want my barbecue sauce and my ketchup. So I will look in the bag, and if it's not in there, I will say, oh, could I get barbecue sauce and ketchup for this? Again, I feel like if I go like this, I feel like if I raise my brows like that, that says to them, like, I'm making myself small. Like, my request is just like this I feel like if I raise my brows like that that says to them like I'm making myself

small like my request is just like this so I'm like can I get some barbie sauce can I get some barbie sauce oh what happened to me yesterday and I went through and I asked that and the girl goes it's all in the bag and I looked again in the bag because I thought maybe it's underneath something so I looked again and there wasn't anything in there. And I was like, actually, it's not in there. She goes, they put it in there. And I said, well, actually, I watched you pack the bag. You packed the bag and they're not in there.

I don't know why I keep having this conversation. And I think it's because when people read me and they're like, girl, it's not that deep. It is that deep. Because I said it before and I'll say it again. If she told the total was 973 and i said well today i'm giving you nine dollars there would be a problem giving me the bag damn i believe there would be a problem giving me the bag so what happens is she like gets all huffy and gives me this like handful like this of ketchup and barbecue sauce and she like puts it out and it's all falling

everywhere she wants to create some scene or whatever and have her authority so i got it and i put it in my bag he said you have a nice day and then she didn't say anything and i said you have a nice day she didn't say anything and i know you think i'm a loser and you're mad at me because you feel like the 20 an hour that you're getting is still not enough. And it's my fault as the consumer. Take it up with your boss. How many more? What else do I have to do? F*** yourself.

If you don't like that, like, I don't know what you want me to do for you. But guess what you're going to do? Run me my ketchup. Run me my barbecue. My God, what more do you want me to do? Do you want a blowjob for ketchup? You want me to throw neck for ketchup? Is that what you want? And the text on screen, you want me to throw neck for ketchup is that what you want and the text on screen you want me to throw neck for ketchup it's so funny run me my barbecue

run me my ketchup she's right she's so funny it's a great point about the 973 and the nine dollars oh yeah you know what i like about what i love about delta is that she is not a Karen. No. She's a justice warrior. She is. She's not a Karen. She's not some uppity bitch who's like, excuse me, I need to talk to the manager. By and large, they're pretty reasonable gripes. And it's all very Seinfeld.

It's all little trivial things that she makes hysterically funny, but that don't really matter at the end of the day. I don't know. By and large of the day. I don't know. By and large. You know what I don't like? This looks like diarrhea, by the way. Is that a nice coffee?

Yeah. Wow. Slurp. I don't like these. I don't know. I don't know what they're called. What do you call them? Not for nothing or um

oh like at the end of the day like at the end of the day oh i'm like little i'm not um i'm gonna to be honest like like little placeholder nothing like yeah what do you call that what do you call those things they're unnecessary what's um a phrase i guess it's a phrase it's a phrase I guess it's a phrase a colloquialism no it's not that what did you call me bitch idiom is like something that's particular to the language no idiom is when it's the same backwards as forward no that's a

that's a that's a palindrome aphorism is a saying though it's a saying it's like a it's like a... It's like a... Qualification.

I don't know what the fuck it is. But it's very... They're always in a conversation. And they're usually redundant. Well, girl, it's things like... You know what I mean? At the end of the day, it is... At the end of the day...

You know what I mean in general? You know what I mean is one of them, too. Totally. Yeah. You know what I mean? To of them too totally yeah you know what i mean to be honest not for nothing the thing is um they don't you don't have to say all that i do it too though it kind of bothers me well i mean that's it right there yeah i just did it yeah i really don't like not for nothing because i've never no not for nothing and I've never, no, not for nothing. And then you take the shards and whip my hard cock out and jerk off out this window while squinting. Blind and just screaming with blood shooting.

Run me my barbecue. What is not for nothing? No riz. No riz. Baby Gronk. What is not for nothing? No Riz. No Riz. Baby Gronk. What is not for nothing? What does that mean? It doesn't mean much, but it means something.

Not for nothing. Like, you know, I didn't get enough ketchup in my bag. I mean, they gave me two packets, not for nothing. But, you know, like, it's better than nothing, right? No, it's not better than nothing. I don't know. Everybody wants to comment on that you can comment below yeah tell me tell me what it is and and oh please oh yeah so tell if in the comments if you please um make a compile a list of these phrases like to be honest quite frankly or quite frankly is useful i feel like because it means i'm going

to be very frank about this right um but but if you could say kind of like um uh meatless phrases that that don't that are kind of mostly unnecessary yeah yeah i i don't like them i would love for delta to come on the bald and the Beautiful She is when you're not fucking here Oh good Well as a reminder I will be fucking leaving She's like one of the first guests During your break And I cannot

I'm going to have to restrain myself From just parroting back her fucking phrases I know well these are big shoes to fill Do you have any size 13s coming in I do There's a huge turd on the bottom it's like a chunk of a bloody scalp stop the shit driver on the way here you're like wait can you just bite the curb for a second I hate that I know I know I just bite the curb for a second? I have some business. I hate that. I know, I know, I know.

Bite the curb. Bye. Oh, yeah. Goodbye. Bye.