The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - I Left My HVAC Heart in Florida with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: November 29, 2022

Looking for a last minute gift? Go to https://establishedtitles.com/BALD and order a digital title pack certificate to print today! They are running a massive Holiday Sale, plus 10% off on any purchase with code BALD. Thanks to Established Titles for sponsoring this video! With a richly tapestried history spanning nearly two millennia, London is the jewel of the Thames with its cobblestone streets, priceless museums, and trendy boutiques. As the official seat of the once-powerful British Empire, it is virtually impossible to capture the essence of London in anything short of a multi-hour treatise on the massive cultural, political and financial impact this European metropolis has had on the world. Instead, let us focus on the air-conditioning capabilities of this historic municipality, which is eminently more fascinating than all of that other historical and sociopolitical crap. Get 33% Off Everything, Plus Free Shipping at https://www.tommyjohn.com/BALD To get 20% off your first order at MeUndies, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to: https://www.MeUndies.com/BALD This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp Therapy Online! Learn more and save 10% off your first month at: https://www.BetterHelp.com/BALD Start your credit journey with Chime! Sign up takes only two minutes and doesn’t affect your credit score. Get started at Chime.com/BALD Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You'll flip for $4 pancakes at A&W. Wake up to a stack of three light and fluffy pancakes topped with syrup. Only $4 on now. Dine-in only until 11 a.m. at A&W's in Ontario. So what's it like to buy your first cryptocurrency on Kraken? Well, let's say I'm at a food truck I've never tried before. Am I going to go all in on the loaded taco? No, sir. I'm keeping it simple, I've never tried before. Am I going to go all in on the loaded taco? No, sir.

I'm keeping it simple. Starting small. That's trading on Kraken. Pick from over 190 assets and start with the 10 bucks in your pocket. Easy. Go to Kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Non-investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss.

See Kraken.com slash legal slash CA dash PRU dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. I'm going back to university for zero dollar delivery fee, up to five percent off orders and five percent Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber One for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. and member terms apply. Hey. Hey, guys.

Hello, love. Hello, governor. We're in London. I almost said we're from London. That's not true. No, certainly not. I'm going to do something that people love on podcasts, which is to show people.

Oh, be careful. Oh, yeah, riveting. Absolutely gorgeous, babe. Well, we're here. Here I am in London for the fucking 12th time this year. Oh, did I detect an ungrateful tone in that voice, Miss Lady? I'm grateful. Listen, I'm happy to be here.

It's just, you know what, though? For the air conditioning sake, I'm happy I'm here in the winter. Because you can't count on the UK to provide you with the air con, babe. Certainly not. However, you can also count on the UK to shut the doors tight and have the warmest kiki indoors. When thousands of bodies get into some old rickety-ass, old maiden type of building. Thousands of bodies.

Half of them have the blue haircuts. And the other half have a suspicious odor emanating from every single motherfucking pore of their bodies. Wash yourself. Wash yourself. And maybe a front tooth that looks like it holds the future. The teeth is the least of my problems. I love a character.

Teeth are fabulous or like character shoes. But like they don't smell. Oh, actually, they do smell. That's the kicker. So can you tell me about Labada? Okay. Okay. So I was able to achieve something that I never thought that I was able to achieve.

I went to. So I go on Instagram a while ago for my favorite Ukrainian singer, Svetlana Loboda. So her name is Loboda. That's how you say it, L-O-B-O-D-A, but you say it Loboda. And it's just so weird. Svetlana Loboda.

Svetlana Loboda. She's Ukrainian. She sings in Russian. I've been listening to her for the past, I don't know, five years or something. This was a big moment for you. Huge moment. But here's the kicker. She announced in Russian. I've been listening to her for the past, I don't know, five years or something. This was a big moment for you. Huge moment. But here's the kicker. She announced an American tour, Miami, New York, LA, San Francisco. Where do you think she,

we are when she's in LA? Poland. I couldn't go to New York. Which is ironically much closer to where she's from. I know, I know, I know. I couldn't go to, I couldn't go to any of the other dates because we're on tour. This was the only date Miami that I could go to. So when we were in DC, I got a VIP table. And then I was like, I'm not going to go alone. I would have gone alone. But since it was so close to the tour, I was like, okay, Eden and I will go.

And then we needed four people for the VIP table. Well, can I ask, do you know a single person besides you who likes this person? Like, did you have anybody where like, oh, here's my friend who likes this artist? No, however, Andrew and Eden are both ruthlessly and mercilessly subjected to hearing her music in the studio

every day. So they're, they know, they actually were singing along, but they were like, they're learning. Like, Andrew knew the words, just not what they- Do Ukrainian people speak Russian? Yeah. So she sings all of her, most of her songs in Russian.

Okay. She has a few, recently she has a few Ukrainian hits. She was actually the Ukrainian entry for Eurovision in 2008, I think. In her English language song, which was, you know. I think we're doing our venue in Warsaw. By the way, you can come see us in Poland. Yeah. Our venue in Warsaw, I believe we switched venues because it's because the Ukrainian refugees. Yeah. Yeah. So anyways, it was, uh, it was, we got the tickets. It was for a,

in a casino in Hollandale beach, Florida, just where the fuck is that North of Miami, um, Miami beach. So it's so it was like 30 minutes from South Beach and ooh girl girl first of all we went to the beach it was me, Ethan, Andrew and Eden I saw that salt water douching right up your pussy

Mama sand in the dick hole honey I forgot going to the beach when you really get all good and juicy down in the beach like that It gets everywhere The sand gets everywhere The salt in the eyes In the face in the mouth

Snow on the beach salt in the dick hole Exfoliating Your what's gone sour It was so intense it was so fun Warm water Well can we be honest like when we when the whole world shit talks florida no miami is the the nicer part right it's got architecture it's got cubans it's got people huge russian diaspora apparently great outdoor mall

lovely well so the the sport of king's theater at the Gulfstream Casino was lit. They had one of those Christmas trees that lit up all different colors and synchronized to music. I almost cried. What's the gay bar there? Is it Score? Twist. Oh, no, that's in South Beach.

Twist was fierce. I worked at Score once, and that's where I met Rubber and Lisa. No, where is that? Lisa Limbaugh and Rubber. I think it was in Miami. Miami, okay. Yeah, so there's Fort Lauderdale. Lovely, gay, that? Lisa Limbaugh and Rubber. I think it was in Miami. Miami. Okay. Yeah. So there's Fort Lauderdale.

Lovely. Gay. Gay, gay, gay. That's where my uncle's former boyfriend tried to show me his penis. Thank you very much. I probably shouldn't have said that. I went to Fort Lauderdale because I won a trip on Drag Race. Oh, yeah.

And I went there once for three days. How did you love it? Yeah. I mean. Did you go to the nudie resort? I just would never choose to go to Florida. Like not for vacation, not for anything. Cause it's just, it's LA, but humid. Like we already have good weather. 82 at night and 90% humidity. It was like with her hair, she was like, I'm in hell. I don't know how the drag Queens. Well, you you know florida i feel like i think of a lot of the naked girls it's not fashion it's survival yeah it's

survival it's by necessity even the girls without perhaps the most stunning body the girls who don't quite serve the body are like well gal i'm gonna put on the necklace yeah i'm gonna whip my cock out and i take my shoes off and get my 4040. Florida is where I have seen drag queens with no clothes or no shoes on. Naked. Well, it's a different set of policies down there. Brandon and I were at a certain bar once where the bartender leaned over and gave us money to go give the girl because

she was completely naked with no shoes on and there was no tipping going on. Are you sure she was in the lineup? I asked. I said, this feels like we could intervene and it was a show yeah yeah yeah and you know during a drag show you do want the audience to feel secure yeah that it's a show and not sex trafficking yeah not a farm to table sex trafficking you know scheme but we went down to south beach the night we got there. Went to Twist. Twist was fierce. Twist, the gay bar.

Uh-huh. I've never been. No cover. Tuesday night, we went in there. Did you dance? Oh, we danced. We danced. And then-

Do you like to dance? I do in a certain set of circumstances. If like it's, you know, well, if it's like music I like, which is never played at any bar. The older I get, the more now when I'm in a gay bar, I'm actually like, why aren't we dancing? Let's go dance. In my 20s, I never felt that way. And now post-COVID, I'm like, well, I'm already uncomfortable. I may as well go enjoy myself.

I look uncomfortable too. Yeah, but they had all these different rooms and most importantly, smoking areas all throughout. Oh, because it's like half indoor. How about? Yes, like four different rooms. I'll say this about Florida. Because it's hot and putrid. The air conditioning is fire,

Steve-O. They don't play around because... It's like Texas. Yes, because it is like it's like, oh, the desert has water pumped in because they need water to survive. It's that vibe. It's not like these fucking these, you know, variable climates where it's like oh you know

no no no no no when a heat wave comes they know what time it is absolutely I mean Dallas shit like that you walk in and they have long thin air con things above the door so when you open the door you're blasted with freezer air and you're like I'm never going home also a lot of the restaurants and malls

strip malls have those misties those cold misties. They have those in P.S. I almost have to stop from jerking off because it's so fierce. Devils in what? They have those in Palm Springs. Yes. Yeah.

In the motel, we have central air in addition to in-room units. So you will never be left hot at the Trixie Motel. By the way, teasing ahead, we have an at the motel episode we're going to do. Oh, yes, we do. There's going to be yes there while we're there. That's fine. And we're going to be probably by the poolside. Can you guys quiet down? Yeah, shut up.

You should charge extra that day. Maybe. I think we should. We can ask while they're there. Two or five dollars. Can't handle. Now I have more questions. So we went to Twist and then this gorgeous drag queen walks by

tall, black, braids down her ankles. Braids down her ankles. And I was like, huh. I was like, that looks like Ebony XL that I know from Boston. Circa 2010. And sure enough, it was. She was doing a show there at one o'clock. I went over and introduced myself.

And I had known her from way before Drag Race. Ebony XL. Ebony XL. Great name. Yeah. Super, super talented. Crazy dancer. She looks like she looks like a kind of like Grace Jones's daughter. Super glamorous. It hasn't aged in 20 years. I don't know

how, but she didn't recognize me at first. Then she's like, oh my God, Katya, Katya. And then she goes to the bartender. This is Katya from Drag Race. The bartender was like, who cares? Literally, he was like Elaine from 30 Rock. Who cares?

And it was so, it was so great. You know who's the ultimate culprit of not knowing who we are, which is totally fine? Security at gay bars. Security is the number one employee who's like who i don't believe you yeah julia roberts or george caluni they're the only two people i know yeah yeah but okay so labada we go to the sport of king's casino um at how many seats is it um well it was like an it was like a nightclub it was kind kind of like Royale in Boston. It's a little bit smaller. Oh, okay. Okay.

But tons of tables, tons of VIP tables. Okay. Racket. A small kind of pit area. And mama, the real show was going on offstage. Well, first of all, we were early at peak day. Who was in the audience for that? Besides you. Well, me, my party of four were the only non-russian speaking people absolutely oh besides

jonathan chibin who's this food god i've never heard of him but you know i don't know him um but andrew and ethan and eden seem to know who he was anyways go in there well first of all i see her i see her rehearsing at seven o'clock shows at eight so i from outside i see her rehearsing with canes with dancers i was like oh my god this is i was so excited you're like this is gonna be turnt i was like because i was expecting the bottom of the barrel you never know you never know you never know yeah bottom of the barrel she could either give you like cirque du soleil or just like you know mud two-step yeah yeah yeah um but so that was promising we get in there Show is one hour late. We have to buy a $200 bottle of champagne, which was the cheapest thing on the menu.

How about a $800 bottle of Dom Perignon? I mean, listen, I know from, there was a time where I was getting offered a certain DJ gig at a certain hotel in a certain Las Vegas. And the base pay for things in those environments is very low. But if you're somebody who sells a lot of bottles and tables,

the paycheck for the artist compounds like, like to the power of like 10 tables is this much. 15 tables is this much. 20 tables is this much. Logarithmic. Yes. It's crazy. 20 tables is this much.

It's like logarithmic. Yes. It's crazy. Looking for a path to accelerate your career? Clear direction for next level success? In a place that is innovative and practical? A path to stay current and connected to industry? A place where you can be yourself? You will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies,

where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue.yorku.ca. This episode is brought to you by CIBC. From closing that first sale to opening a second store, as a business owner, you've hustled to accomplish a lot, but the rewards don't stop there. When you earn two times more points on things that matter to you and your business easily track those business expenses and experience flexible Aventura rewards, you'll realize how much more rewarding your hustle can be. Get up to

$1,800 in value when you apply for the CIBC Aventura were just wandering at their leisure. But were they all like you where they were like, I can't believe I'm going to get to see her? Absolutely not. No, no. They were, they were, it was, everybody was surge. I mean, every single person had a nose job. Every single person had like, it was like the ratio of men to women,

the women to men was at least 12 to one Russian people, all Russian speaking people. You have our various, you know, Ukrainian, whatever, um, as former Soviet republics.

Um, it was probably like, like immigration or first, like, yeah, they're all living the huge population, Miami, huge population everywhere. Really huge population everywhere, really.

New York, LA, you know, Santa Monica and Fairfax is like little Russia in LA. And now I don't want to generalize, but was it giving like a lot of makeup, designer label clothing? You can generalize. Yeah. Because it was like. Because the Russian gals used to shop at the makeup counters. They would come in. Sweet tea.

I wish I could show you this woman. This in various levels of sophistication to just like, hi-yi-yi-yi. This one girl had, I mean, she looked like me if I had to get ready. Like if I had three hours to get ready just to do my eyes. Oh, so it's not always good. No, no, no. This girl had, she gave Trisha Paytas as a drag makeover.

She had crunchy, um, bleached blonde hair, a loaf, and then, uh, pinstripe extensions that went down to the waist. Yeah. Yes. It was, I was like, cause I was just finished telling the, my party was like, I should not, I'm so glad I didn't come in drag cause I would have been ogled and ridiculed. But then I saw her and I was like, I should not. I'm so glad I didn't come in drag because I would have been ogled and ridiculed. But then I saw her and I was like, well, maybe not.

Because she was giving very like third time in drag. But she was a woman. Anyways, so many tall girls. Skin T. E. D. Boots. Like eating disorder boots.

Oh, erectile dysfunction. I was like girls with erectile dysfunction. Well, the boys, the guys, like old men and hot young bitches. Yes. Cause I'm imagining that it's like, um,

bottle service girls. Yeah. And like mafia people. Well, they weren't, they weren't dressed up. They were very, it was like mafia cash,

like biz cash mafia guys. Just like, Oh, is it like the Russian hooker dresses in LA? Yeah. I mean, one girl, this like, there was a lot of tall girls, a lot of tall girls, in LA? Yeah, I mean, one girl There was a lot of tall girls

A lot of tall girls plucked from There was a One girl was in a hot pink Ostrich feather Suit with pants Like ostrich feathers poking out It looked disgusting But she probably thought it was rich

And then another girl was in like a Head to toe Chanel So gorgeous another girl was in this fucking so they're really giving colors and levels they're giving levels and uh great gradients of all the fashion spectrum good oh no no some people looked spectacular and then we get to the main event. Now it was called, it was billed as a charity concert. And if I understood every word she said, I mean, she basically read Moby Dick throughout the night. She said so much. There was so much

patter between numbers. Was it interesting to hear her talk? Was she funny? Well, I could not understand about 80% of what she's saying because it was all in Russian. Oh, wow. The only thing she said that day was on her Instagram. Hello, wow. The only thing she said, um, that day was on her Instagram. Hello, USA.

I'm so excited to be here. That was it. Everything else was in Russian, but it was a lot, a lot of monologues about Ukraine, a lot of monologues about women, um, about,

um, certain things. Like I could get pieces and pieces, but. Was your table depending on you? And you're like, I learned my Russian from her song. So until she starts singing,

I don't know what she's saying. I mean, I was, I was screaming all the lyrics and stuff. I sat down for one song cause I didn't like it. But, um, it was, uh, it was interesting. This fucking yellow suit, bitch. This yellow fucking suit. Now I took footage.

If you're watching the pod, we can show it on YouTube. Let's show it. Yeah. We'll show it here. Take a look. Um, she wore this. So she has long blonde hair. She wore this wig that i would

wear it really looked like a wig it was a wig it was it was a center part dark rooted um kind of like a wavy shoulder length full-haired wig i was like mary what are you doing it was just very biz cash yeah it was she's 40 she's just turned 40 um but like in her previous concerts and in performances she plays stadiums in in some of these you know russian russian she's really famous well she's got seven million uh instagram followers she's got um i don't know what her record sales are i have no idea but she's very famous not with young folks more with millennials and older generations but um well it's like indian celebrities for example india is such a big country yeah you can have so many followers right and then be famous not a lot of other places but that's the truth about any other

international act and they to break into the american or the english-speaking markets is impossible you know um but russia i mean former soviet russian Russian speaking countries are many and numerous. Yeah. Including the Russians in America. Including what? Like Russian speakers in America. Yeah, tons of them. Tons of them. So much so that many artists can enjoy like a pretty extensive tour of the United States.

I went to one in Boston. The most famous singer packed the place we were at. Most of the Russian people I've met are in the service industry. Like when I worked in P-Town, they would also be there in the summer doing a summer of like serving. And there are like a lot of Bulgarians too. Bulgarians. And then, I mean, it's stereotypical but drivers. Like you and I were in a car once and you were doing your Duolingo

and that driver was helping you with your Russian. Oh, I love a Russian driver. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were like, I forget what phrases you were saying. And he kept looking in the mirror at you and then eventually he started correcting, yeah. You were like, I forget what phrases you were saying. And he kept looking in the mirror at you. And then eventually he started correcting your pronunciation. He was like, why are you learning Russian? You were just like for fun. Well, that's always the thing.

It was like, as I'm learning Russian, like why? It's either you have a girlfriend or you're going there for work. Those are the only two reasons. I watch a lot of those YouTube videos. This is so clickbaity, but I'm so susceptible to anything like this. One of those YouTube videos, this is so clickbaity, but I'm so susceptible to anything like this. Okay. Where it's like, white guy who speaks perfect Mandarin surprises the staff at a deli.

Uh-huh. And he'll go in and he'll order in Mandarin and their face is always like. Yeah. They're like, why do you know this? And he's like, oh, I learned it with my girlfriend. And they're like, oh my God. And they're always in the videos. Super appreciative. Yeah.

They're like, thank you for learning this non-essential. Well, that's, well, that's funny. Cause I was, I did the same thing the other day. I went into,

um, uh, my, uh, what was it? It must've been the Kung Fu store. And I said, did you really?

No, I'm not a Kung Fu store, but I don't think there are any, but, but that's, I speak a little Mandarin. That's great. What does that mean? I speak a little Mandarin. That's great. What does that mean?

I speak a little Mandarin. Oh, and then they go, oh. They go, thank you. No, I don't know. Well, you know, when I'm in Montreal, I try to get fierce and they go, nice French. Nice French, honey. Nice French. Good effort. What do you want?

A baguette? Babes? Wait, wait. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. baguette babes wait wait it's okay quick so the the uh 45 minutes of a fashion show and i'm falling asleep because it's like we were but no fashion all day she the dancers changed um the dancers changed they were in their work the world uh season one costumes 25 times

and actually during like body suits and stuff? Body suits, sheer coats that were removed, Gia Gunn ponytails of the yaki variety. At one point during the end, there was a strap, the two straps on one of the dancers costume broke and we could see full nipples for five minutes.

Good for her though. You got to keep going. And she was a pro. You could tell, I could sort of sense that she knew and she was a little uncomfortable You could tell, I could sort of sense that she knew and she was a little uncomfortable. The choreo did not say that. She was fabulous. And funny enough, some of those dancers that were for them

were doing very different dances at certain points during the evening. It was not the most meticulously choreographed. She would have pages of notes. Yeah. But that fucking yellow suit, I understand the Ukrainian colors and her patriotism and her hometown was fucking destroyed. You know, like it's really tough for a Ukrainian artist who travels around Russia and has lived in Russia and she lives in Europe now. But to continue your career and she's very like involved. And do pop and not be 18.

Right, right, right. And she's hard for anyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Right. And she's like, but it was like Kylie Minogue. Imagine if Kylie, imagine if fucking Australia was like under a siege or something from Britain and Kylie Minogue can't just be like, you know, two hearts beating together. You know, you've got to kind of like, I love Kylie Minogue. I fucking do too. I fucking do too. It's just such a common conversation to have with Australian people when

they're like, it's kind of big in America. And anybody that tastes goes not as big as she should be. Yeah. No, it's a fucking crime. Your songs are so timeless. I,

she's so such a faggot for her music. I'm such a faggot for her.. I'm such a faggot for her. I cried. Girl, it's amazing. All the lovers. All the lovers. Yes. London, I love you.

Can't get you out of my head. Coming up on the plate, the boiler plate. Yeah. I love that song. I'm the one. Yeah. Love me. It's just so fierce.

So fabulous. So, wait, wait. Anyways, hold on. I'm not done with my trauma about the yellow suit so ptsd rage and female trauma so the the band comes out so excited hour late whatever no opener but they start late the show starts an hour late the show is at eight she um the band comes out at nine mary i've been there since seven clock is ticking it's humid and um you know you would have left for anyone else by then.

By the way. I should have known better. I don't go to enough concerts to know that time is the elusive... You know, the elusive Chantus comes out in our own time. But it was 8 to 11, so I figured, okay, probably 9 to 11. Anyways, the band comes out.

They start playing something. I'm like, this is a little more rock vibe. And I was like, if there's a fucking opener... Because somebody was on a microphone. I was like, I is a little more rock vibe. And I was like, if there's a fucking opener, because somebody was on a microphone. I was like, I am not going to sit through a male lead, a vocal lead opener for 20 minutes. So then she comes out and I'm like, what's that? What's that?

What's that? What's that yellow suit? What you got there good? What you got there on there? Lady, what's that suit all about? And it was a suit of a fit that let's just say, begged to be revealed it looked like she zara well zara but h&m picked up a men's suit a plus size men's suit

and then forego a fitting yeah she had a very um form fitting what i'm assuming to be like a body suit uh blue body suit listen yellow and blue the ukrainian colors i get it i get it i get it and i'm but we're not talking about the colors. No, I'm talking about the colors. Yellow is tough for a blonde. Yellow is tough for a blonde. I know. I love yellow.

It works for me. You're different though, because you do yellow sequin payettes with boas and shit. This was a, this was fucking the mask. Jim Carrey in the mask. It was Dick Tracy. Jim Carrey in the mask. Jim Carrey in the mask. And there tracy and the jim curry in the mask and there were times where she would do this thing like take it off the shoulders and we're like okay

oh yeah yeah yeah yeah and then put it back on oh mary dugan it was maddening but i knew every song except one the first one i don't know i don't like it but it was um it was oh the crowd this fucking singing no they were like a nightclub it was they were, the crowd. Were they singing? No, they were like a nightclub. They were ignoring us? Yes. They were ignoring her? Yes.

There was one woman over on the VIP table who had a three-year-old child who was dancing. That was great. But everybody, all the guys, because it was like a 12 to 1 ratio, the guys who were dragged there by their wives or girlfriends could not care less. And they were just on their phones screaming. Everybody's having family reunions, drinking alcohol, having appetizers,

meats and stuff. It was chaos. But you know what though? Don't you think casino gigs in general are just a little left of center as far as the typical experience? Yes.

But also, Marcella was telling me that foreign concerts are not like in America. They're wild. Oh, maybe the culture is more like a get-together. It's a get-together. And also, if you think about this,

it's a Russian community outside of the country. People haven't seen each other for a while. Maybe they're coming from other places. Maybe it's more like a drag show where you can talk during it. I don't know. Our drag shows are a little bit more... That's not an invitation to talk during our shit. No, but it,

but I, it was just, it was chaos and there was a bald guy right next to me and I was trying to get my just, but I had a great time, but it was, um, she did one costume change and it just left a little bit to be desired

because it was another baggy fucking leather suit. And I was like, Mary, I've seen your other work. I've seen your concerts. And wait, what did your table of non LabLoboda fans think of it? Andrew lived.

I think he cried at one point. Really? Yeah, because he was drunk, probably. And Eden and I were bonding over like... I've seen him cry. Yeah, he cries at the drop of a hat. Ethan likes music and he likes Loboda, actually. So he's a music publicist.

Oh, right. And Eden was very into the fact that The dancers were out of sync When was she singing versus not singing Where was the track How much of a track But she played the drums That's cool Fiercely too

The suit made sense for that It was like a butch moment She gets down but damn Did she have a big gay following? I would imagine yeah Gays and lesbians?? I would imagine, yeah. Gays and lesbians? Yeah, I would imagine.

I mean, I really don't know actually. Not young folks, more millennials. Did she clock any other gay guys there? Three, maybe. Really? Wow. Maybe her stylist. There was her stylist, that food god guy, and maybe like four other ones,

but they could have just been Euro trash. It's hard to say. That's amazing. Yeah. There was one guy who was so like this bodybuilder guy who walked like this that was fun too bad she you know it's a bummer she could have come seen us she could have come seen our show maybe do you think she knows who you are well she reposted me on her instagram but i think just because i have a blue check mark you know and she was

reposted a lot of other people and she's done that in the past but wait what do you think about the blue check mark gonna to be for sale? It's going to be purchasable. Flop Tina. We just got to get out of there. Honestly, I don't want to sound whatever. What whatever? It means something. Well, I get afraid of

expressing myself because I feel like I get raked through the coals and I'm always scared. Elon Musk is a fucking idiot. I just feel that if you have a blue check, For what? Elon Musk is a fucking idiot. But I mean, I just feel that if you have a blue check, it's because... You're a public figure. You're a public figure or you have some sort of recognition because

of your position of your career or your artistic prowess or whatever. You're famous. For lack of a better word. We're saying that money can make your voice seem more important we're basically acknowledging that that's true and it's the worst thing about america to begin with is that money makes someone important yeah and so i think money will buy a blue check well

i think that they're trying to do the opposite they're trying to use a small amount of money to make profit so that everybody's equalized so does that mean that celebrities now will have to pay for the check? Or can people buy a check? Both. What is the point? Then that would, exactly. I think he's trying to, he's trying to generate revenue or something.

Then again, I know people who are like journalists with dozens of followers who are verified. So like really, it's not even about. No, it's about authenticity. It's about authenticity. It's not about fame or richness. No, no, it's not about, because I know many, many, really, it's not even about, no, it's about authenticity. It's about authenticity. It's not about fame or richness. No, no, it's not about, cause I know many, um, many, many, for some reason, the porn community is always jilted.

Cause I know, uh, porn actors with hundreds of thousands of followers who don't have blue check marks. Interesting. Yeah. I'm not sure what the, I'm not sure exactly what the rubric is, but I think when the journal journalist case would probably be for, for, um, authenticity and, uh,

clarity of like the source is, you know, I don't want Twitter to get mad at me because sometimes they do have to help me with problems. But I think Twitter is the worst place on the internet. And I think it's really fine if we all leave. Absolutely. I think it's really good.

If I could get one to go, that would be the one I would say let go. I know. It's a bummer because my Instagram has not been working for the past few weeks and so I've been spending all that extra time on Twitter which is not doing anything greater for my like overall well-being. It is. Twitter is the worst place on the internet. But you can

curate the experience to your liking. No but Twitter is a place meant for extreme reaction. Extreme like snap judgment. Misinformation. Yes, but Twitter is a place meant for extreme reaction. Extreme like snap judgment. Misinformation. Yes. It's the craziest place on the internet.

It's the people who hate things the most are on Twitter. It's probably worse. I don't even remember being on Facebook. I don't do that. Yeah. I haven't done that in years. The only reason I still have it is because my Instagram is linked to it and posts to it. Yeah. And plus I know that I have like oh my god, I just ran into somebody

in Milwaukee who was like, I friended you on Facebook. You didn't respond. I said, do you know my login? Because I don't, bitch. It took me, when we had to do advertising on Facebook for the tour, it was a process of two years to get into there.

I could have run and folded a pyramid scheme in that time successfully. It's crazy. Let's take a break. Let's take a break. the perfect pace. Liquid IV powder helps you turn ordinary water into extraordinary hydration so you can live a more extraordinary life. Live more with Liquid IV Hydration Multiplier. Available in refreshing lemon, lime, passion fruit, and strawberry flavors. Buy a stick in store at Costco, Walmart, Amazon, and other Canadian retailers. When your celebration of life is prepaid in advance, it becomes a gift from you to your family later because no one should have to plan for a loss while they're experiencing one. Paying in advance protects your loved ones and gives you the peace of mind you deserve. Let us help you plan every detail with professionalism and compassion. We are your local Dignity Memorial provider.

Find us at DignityMemorial.ca. What's your portfolio's most valuable asset? It may be your financial advisor. Financial advisors have the investment knowledge and experience to help clients build diversified portfolios that can thrive in a variety of market environments. Feel more confident about your financial future. Dynamic Funds. Invest with advice. Visit dynamic.ca slash advice to learn more. And we're back. And we're back. What do you got there? So I have this wonderful, fabulous new book that so a couple of weeks ago or something, you were out of town. So I have this wonderful, fabulous new book that, so a couple of weeks ago or something, you were out of town. So I wanted-

She came to your house. She came to my house, which, first of all, I was so nervous because my house was done. You guys were just walking and be like, hi, poor. Well, not that. Just like, hi, ugly. Because- Hi, ugly poor. Her house is, I haven't been to it, but I've seen pictures.

It's so beautiful. She has incredible taste. Taste that I love. And she, it talks about in the book that, which I had not read because they wouldn't send it to me in advance. So that was always fun, fun to do an interview about a book that you haven't read. But she, I did a ton of, I know who she is, Natasha Leggero. And, but before the interview, I did a ton of research, watched all the roasts

and, uh, I watched a whole season of another period, which by the way, so funny, so funny. It's, um, there's three seasons. I think it's a, um, a, a comedy show. It's like a turn of the century, um, drama or comedy that's in the style of a reality show. So it's like Downton Abbey as a reality show. Fucking, I mean, I don't like comedy shows to be honest. I think I would love that. It sounds like Reno 911. Yeah. And there's all the people, Michael Ian Black, Thomas Lennon,

all those people. It's so funny. You would love it. It's so funny. I was having sex with my, um, my, my man friend on the couch and my focus was being pulled more and more towards the TV. It was real. That's not a dig on him. He's very, well, it's hard with sex cause you don't want it silent in the room, but you don't want something that's going to pull focus.

Yeah. This was pulling all the focus as I was trying to pull his, you know what? Pull his focus. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was so,

it's so funny. So, so, so funny. Christina Hendricks is in it. Um, they got a lot of great guest stars, but anyway, so, um, she came over and I was so nervous, um, because my house was not in a state of whatever. She was so nice. She was arrived right on time, a little bit early to be honest. And then, um, we had a great chat for an hour. And yeah, I've been reading the book and it's very funny. She had a child when she was 42, froze her eggs and stuff. Yeah, she's 48 right now. Looks so beautiful. Good for her.

Yeah, she's really awesome. You and I had our book come out. Yes, yes. We bonded over that. Guess what she said? When she got the book, she was like, I couldn't believe how thin it was. Thank you. Thank you. I was like, I couldn't believe how thin it was. Thank you. Thank you.

I was like, I, I thought I wrote the Cheesecake Factory menu. I wrote the Skinnylicious menu. And that's unfortunate. Moby Dick was just a, it turned out to be a pamphlet. And we didn't get New York Times bestseller. We did not. We surely did not. I wonder if she will.

I don't want to sound ungrateful or whatever. I wonder if she will. This comes out November 15th. I wonder if she will. I don't want to sound ungrateful or whatever, but we already did it once. And I don't super care if we get it twice. No, because guess what? It's like they say Grammy award winning artist.

New York Times bestselling author. It's just you make it once and it's there forever. It's fine. And we're not in danger of writing a book ever again. There's certainly no... No way. There's no way. When I have to sign paperwork, I'm mad.

When I have to do a docu-sign, I'm mad. Like I said, I have unlearned. I've just been looking at the pictures and there aren't any, so I got through this real quick. I just become illiterate. You've been drawing your own. Yeah. Fuck. Wait, wait, wait. One more thing. What is Fuck. Well, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. One more thing.

What is it? We're about to, by the way, we also just, we're in London. We just got here this morning and we start the show tomorrow at Wembley arena, Wembley arena. You know,

um, this, we're continuing the trend of having a hiatus and then coming right back to one of the most important shows of our lives with no preparation. Why are we doing that? Why are we doing that? Why of our lives with no preparation. Why are we doing that? Why are we doing that? Why are they doing that to us? Why are we doing that?

The last, like, we started with Radio City, which was psychotic. Psychotic. And this, like, we're starting with Wembley. Yeah. Do you know what the other problem with that is? What? It makes you have this endorphin and, like, rush at the top, and then you go down to Hall. Yeah, we're never going to Blackpool or Leeds.

I'm going down to Kitchener. Yeah, Westfordshire to the Five and Dime parking lot. Yeah. No, my thing is that this is, I'm a little worried because adapting a show, a theatrical show to a venue of this size is going to be a little challenging. And I don't know if we have enough time to do it,

but I guess we'll find out. It's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. You know why? Why? We have the funniest drag show on tour. We do.'ll find out. It's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. You know why? Why? We have the funniest drag show on tour. We do. And we have the best fans ever.

We absolutely do. And we have the best dancers and the best fans. Yeah. And it's great. I don't get nervous at all. This is the first stage thing I've done where I don't, never even crosses my mind to get nervous. Yeah. Well, it never crosses my mind that they won't like us.

Right. I do get a little nervous. Um, but, uh, I get, I get like, um, I get the, the pre-show jitters, whatever. Diarrhea. Yeah. Diarrhea. Yeah. Do you say gonorrhea or diarrhea? Both. I shoot gonorrhea out of my ass. Um, I, um, just re last Monday I had a college gig in columbus ohio and i haven't done a full hour 15 of stand-up pre-pandemic yeah yeah and i was shitting bricks yeah all day i was like oh god do i even remember how to do this i was like looking at my material and like looking at what songs i was going to do and when i'm by myself without my band too i play by myself so then i have to figure out what songs i'm going to play by myself and how am i and i'm using my loop pedal i don't know if you ever seen me use my loop yeah yeah so i'm looping with my pedal to think about and i have buttons that add harmony buttons that loop and i have to get the you know

the loops right or they don't work and um i have to tell you i had a fucking blast is it a triumph i thought honestly it was going to be like here's me trying to resurrect this stand-up thing that i used to do before covid and i got up there and i was like not only did me trying to resurrect this standup thing that I used to do before COVID. And I got up there and I was like, not only did I used to love this, I was really good. I had a great time. I cracked my own shit up for hours. Oh, wonderful. For hours. How long was the show? I went for probably like an hour 20.

Oh, that's fabulous. But you know, to be honest, it was an hour 15. It was an hour 15. Even better. But you know, I was like, oh, I hope I have enough to fill it. And then by the time I started to think that, I was getting the 10 minutes off stage. I was like, I guess. Love that.

And, you know, if the show is flying, it means it's going well. Absolutely. When it's. Mama, when you're like, are we almost halfway done and it's been five or six minutes. Honey. Yeah. There was some summers and there was some times in P-Town

where I had maybe 15 people in the audience. And I'm like, well, we're here for 50 more minutes. I would just do a circle of sharing at that point. Let's share. Laugh yoga. Yeah. Yeah. People on stage.

Talk about their trauma. Absolutely. Wait, where were you for Halloween? I did something very unprecedented, which is wear a black dress and a dark lip. Yes. Did anybody recognize you? Well, I went to Milwaukee and I did my Halloween gig there. And I wore like this pink Bride of Frankenstein troll doll thing. We did that thing together and that was fine and lovely and gorgeous. And then I went to LA cause I had to do

the Boulay brothers Halloween and I put on truly a black dress from ASOS, a black shoe, sheer black tights, not even in a a dark purple lip Did anybody recognize you? No one And I was actually a little bit scared for that Because that was probably my biggest DJ gig to date Maybe not the most people But the most like This is LA

Yeah On Halloween Yeah And the blue laser here And I can't mess up And I'll let you know that I ate You ate I picked the right songs

You shit it on I slammed in the right amount of Halloween sound effects where I wasn't playing spooky, scary skeletons, but I was playing vibey, haunty shit without playing Monster Mash. Like Deborah Cox. There's a stranger in my house. Well, when I got to

Boston, because that was a 7 to 9 gig, then I could pull out some of the corny. So then I played somebody's watching me thriller, shit like that. I'm sorry. You know, Rimming Kids aside, Then I could pull out some of the corny So then I played like somebody's watching me Thriller Shit like that I'm sorry, you know, Rimming Kids aside That Thriller song is a B.O.P Well, it is

It really is But you know, not everybody thinks that he did it And I think that's why people still play his music I was at Twist and I was just like They had the Thriller and they had the Jennifer Garner movie on. It appeared in some Jennifer Garner movie with Mark Ruffalo. Oh, 13 Going on 30. Exactly.

And I thought, wow, this is just charming. It's an amazing song. Now, if he was a Try Guy, he would have been killed already. And should have been. And should have been. Yeah, thank you. I wonder, I think that guy's the Adulterer, the Try Guy Adulterer's body, his charred remains are still on view in the public square of Columbus, Ohio.

That is totally what's happening. I got to show you a picture from this gig. Okay. I got to show you a picture of something too. This is me in Boston getting my shish at the Royale. Oh my God, how exciting. Oh, you are a slut. Oh, that's also me. Oh, I love that.

Let me show you this. Well, that outfit you wore to the signing was was really You looked like a tramp and I loved it Slutty There's a really good video of me Thrashing on the fucking floor Look at me on this table Oh my god You got turned crunk and lit

It's to Thriller I think too actually Isn't that crazy Can I show you something I love to DJ You love to tour a thriller i think too actually yeah isn't that crazy that's great can i show you something i love to dj i love to tour you love to tour it's like a reverse orgasm you douched yeah that's that's what it feels like you know that's what it feels like that's what my tushy feels like because i don't know how to turn down the water pressure oh right yeah i have to go and even then pressure washed asshole skin on the floor, blood in the toilet.

I think I'm going to have to dilate this tour. Because I'm telling you, I have a. You're dilating too? I'm going to have to. Because, listen. David and I have been apart so much. I've been having so little anal sex. It closes up.

When we want to have sex, I'm like. Yeah. If you don't use it, you lose it. Yeah. And you have to get the knitting needle to poke the skin that's had the layer over the hole. I used to be able to do it. Now, unless your dick is a pesto cavatappi. Pesto cavatappi.

Pesto cavatappi. And now it's like, you know, let's say that David and I have a very healthy sex life. But because we have been seeing each other, when we are going to have sex, I'm like, oh, I used to be able to just snap right into this. And now I'm like, Oh, bottoming is hard. I'm like, I'm so I've got the preparation thing down pretty much. Like I, you know, I just do the rectum. I don't want to get gross. Like, like I'm not doing that colonic irrigation that all my friends are into. Cause they're all like on display at the Met while they're having sex. Like, but the, so there's never a problem with cleanliness. It's just the God damn it's so jammed. It's too darn tight. Am I going to have to become one of those people? Am I going to have

to become one of those people who wears like a butt plug for an hour before the sex? Or during bed in bedtime. Oh, before sex. I've done that. I pre-gamed. That's what I mean. Am I going to have to pre-game? Yeah. And then, but still, I have a, let me ask you this. Because also a certain amount of pain doesn't turn me on. It takes me out of it. Thank you. I'm not one of those gays with the pain.

Right. Right, right, right. Does this, does that feel good to you? Not pain, no. No, no. I'm talking about. What does that mean? The dick going in and pounded the drill

yeah it feels good when it's working yeah what's what what is like when it's relaxed when you've used the right amount of lube and you're taking your time it all works okay but like i said when i was like when i'm having sex all the time it's easier to get into it but when you're not having sex all the time it's harder to get i gotta it. But when you're not having sex all the time, it's harder to get into it. I'm going to take that water bottle and stick it in my pussy when you leave here. I guess.

Maybe porn has given me unrealistic expectations too because when I see the bottoms in porn, I'm like, am I supposed to be able to do that? I saw a video on Twitter the other day where the guy had four hands in him. Four hands.

Four hands. It looked like that meme of the people like holding hands in a circle. Trust fall. There were four hands in him. Trust fist. Yes. That's like that meme of the people like holding hands in a circle. Trust fall. There were four hands in here. Trust fist. Yes. That's like a,

that's like a weird team building exercise. I don't know. But I saw, um, I saw, no, this is a very, this is not very large,

but this is the size of the penis that I had, um, that I had, um, you know, whatever, uh, on a previous leg of the story.

And this went up my butt with the most. It took a while. It took a long while. It took, I mean, it took a long while. And then got it all the way in. That was it. That was it. If he was like, you want to take it in and out now?

Go to the library. Get out of here. This is not going to work. I couldn't even imagine that. And these guys are getting oil drilled. They're getting Texas tea. But they are for hours. I know.

Am I gay? I know. I'm not that gay. I don't know. I'm just curious. I know it's performative. It's porn. But what is the pleasure element of it? I'm curious. Am I going to have to get an anal surgery? Anal paralytic.

Or a gauge my hole? Yes, I think we have to gauge our holes. Gauge our holes. Well, if you see us on this tour walking funny, just know that it's because we have two pipe bombs shoved up our asses. I have a bum hip and also a can of Coke shoved up my ass.

You know what's been feeling great for me? The back. Yeah. Good. My pain is gone. Good. I went to a chiropractor. Yeah.

12 minutes later. Yeah. Pain permanently gone. Yeah. Gotta love it. Thank you so much. We'll see you next time. My skin looks okay.

I put on a lot of self-tanner and this is the manifest. Look, I look tanner than you. Yeah. Jeez. Oh. All right. Tanner and this is the manifest look I look Tanner than you yeah geez