The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - I'm Bread Pitt and This is Ghoulia Roberts

Episode Date: February 23, 2021

All aboard, folks. Our tour guides today will be Trixie and Katya. From teenage brides to Nick Nolte fantasies to grandpa sex, we guarantee you'll be a better person by the end of this episode. Come for the tips about sex with old people, stay for the wisdom about spousal finances. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To listen to our podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TBATBYT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Eligibility and member terms apply. Oh, do you mind? Do you mind if we have just us girls again today? Just us teeny, tiny teenage girls. Oh, just two little girls with tight little cunts. teenage girls just two little girls with tight little cunts teeny tiny teenage little slits well well it depends who you talk to that's true that is i know a lot of men who would find that kind of behavior very appealing sex offenders on death row sex offenders

hey what's with them yeah yeah i mean i've been so not to get dark right away but i've been uh keeping up on my like um french politics a little bit here and there sure and um celine celine well at least french canadian um and uh this uh you know pedophiles are big time in france and really oh yeah yeah yeah sex is a whole different thing in france we're talking about the age of consent there was um this prominent isn't isn't brant's a lot of like 16 and a half year old girls and like 45 year old men exactly like but this guy is like even this guy who is like um now he's in exile now in italy This guy is like even, this guy who is like, he's in exile now in Italy somewhere on the Riviera. But he had published something that was like openly details vivid accounts of him, you know, sleeping with eight-year-old boys in Vietnam.

What? Or like, you know, in Thailand or something like that. Yeah, he was just like, I think he actually even wrote a thing called like, for the love of pedophiles. Like, it's lovely to be a pedophile something to that effect where he's just openly brazenly kind of talking about that celebrated and so they're just coming around and he's like had support from a this like that's not the guide to modern womanhood no we would never no we would never and the whole trying to shift the and then and then he was like he went on he was in exile because this woman wrote this book about consent.

And it's just like, it's just so crazy. It's so crazy that men in charge, it's just tomfoolery. Girl. Shenanigans. Girl, I've been on Hulu. I've been watching more television. Okay. It's time.

And I watched a documentary on child brides oh my god and how in america it's extremely common now what do you mean when you're saying a child bride under 18 year old women getting married to older men yeah the parents co-sign on it yeah it gets basically arranged maybe they get knocked up at 14 and then sometimes 13 year old girls are getting married off in the united states today 13 14 15 year old girls married off knocked up because they also yeah you might say well when she's 18 she's just gonna divorce at that point she has no income no support from her family she probably already has a kid usually it's

an abusive relationship sexually god it's men will it's crazy it's crazy it's crazy that i was watching the documentary like there's a brigade of ladies who are going state to state and trying to abolish you shouldn't be able to get married before 18 i don't think you yeah i mean who and these women they're made to feel like it's their only option a lot of times because they You shouldn't be able to get married before 18. I don't think you should. Yeah. I mean, who, ugh. And these women, they're made to feel like it's their only option a lot of times because they get pregnant or whatever. Yeah. Can we call it pedophilia? Can we call it what it is?

Yeah. Well, I mean, it also depends on country to country because they think it's- I'm going to take it a step further. Oh, go ahead. What is it? What? Stop Googling porn with the word teen in it. Oh my God.

Unless you also are like 25 or younger. Barely legal. You don't need to be watching 18 year olds jerking off. Yeah. You're 45. You're 45. What is the, I mean, I get. Teens and MILF. That's the two whole searched things yeah

teens and milf yeah just search milf fuck someone's mom fuck someone's mom have you ever had sex with a dad oh i've had sex with a grandpa I, yeah, I absolutely. Gary Busey? Yeah. Nick Nolte? Was it Nick Nolte? He looked older than Nick Nolte. Interesting. Yeah.

Was he hot? I don't know. Wait, was this the guy whose asshole you licked? Absolutely. But I've, but no, there's, there's been others. Did you know about the kids? Were you his grandpa's day present? Yes.

Grandpa got you. love an older man I love a man who's my age Like a man who's a little bit younger But I mean I'm not trying to fuck a kid You heard it here folks I'm not trying to do that And it's a very interesting discussion Because

In France there is no law So for example if you have sex with somebody but it's and it's a very interesting discussion with you because uh they're the in france they there is no law like so for example if you have sex with somebody under age it is automatically statutory rape so it's it's it's sexually assault because we have ruled that anybody under 18 is not able to give consent yeah exactly so but that's not the case in france um that's barely the case here hello but the age of consent is 16 i think over there and they do not those oh this old french like guard these these old dudes they are nasty rotten and skeezy and skanky nasty and they're not willing to give up anything they want to fuck them three-year-olds what have you what's the youngest you've ever been attracted to well so okay or okay let me Okay, let me ask another question before that.

With the youngest I've been attracted to, the youngest I felt myself wanting to be sexually involved is very young. How old young were you? 10. How old was they? 50. I'm just kidding.

I know. I don't, I don't, um, to other, other 10 year olds or other older men. Okay. Yeah. But I'm, I'm saying like you now as a 38 year old man, what's the youngest you could hook up with? I mean, could you pop a boner for like a 20 year old? Popping a boner?

It would be, I mean, having an actual physical encounter. It's not worth the trouble like i don't know i would say they'd also be annoying no that's what i'm saying it's like it's like it's to me it's almost like dating a child it's like i don't yes and i don't want to just have like a like a non-verbal flame i'm not trying to meet guys down at the limited two yeah yeah yeah i know it's annoying and they're then they got their own yeah i'm not if you'd like to know whether or not the guy is too young for you there's a very simple list of questions why how have you recently been to spencer's gifts what'd you get for christmas yeah what did you get for christmas do you still go home and stay with your mom? Yeah. When's your driver's test? When's your driver's test?

Have you gotten Botox yet? Yeah. Yeah. What's the oldest? Is there an age cap? When I was 19. Wait, wait, wait. You answer the question.

Sorry. When I was 19, I had a three-way, four-way. I had a four-way with a guy who was 31. And I thought at the time that was like, whoa. Crazy. Yeah. What's the youngest now? That I've been with? I'm 31. I've been with time that was like, whoa. Crazy, yeah. What's the youngest now? That I've been with?

I'm 31. I've been with somebody who was like, when I was 30, I probably was like 23, 24. Well, it's funny. I mean, I, when I, you know how when you get older, like if you look at say, you know, your cousin's yearbook or something, everybody. And you're jerking off to your cousin's yearbook. The faculty page, The faculty page. The faculty page.

But it seems like everybody looks younger. Every generation looks younger. Yeah. Like I look at my dad's yearbook. They all look like they're 40 in high school. Yeah. It's crazy. What's with that?

18 years old now to me looks like they just got out of diapers. They're insanely young looking. Or they're looking to get back into them. Into my diapers. Into my diaper. Yeah. It's crazy. I don't just don't fuck kids. Yeah. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't marry people who are underage. If you're in a, if you're a parent who signs a marriage certificate for your underage daughter, you need to fucking go to hell and hell's not even real. let's go worse go to drag con go to a meet and greet i hope you have to go to a meet and greet and fluorescent lighting yeah i mean oh god i've talked so much about doing drag i know you are like they're never gonna invite you back no at

this point when i do it fans are gonna approach like sorry i'm so sorry you're going through this like you're a victim yeah martyr totally um but the you know why would the youth and beauty they cannot you cannot um you cannot detach the two do you think that's why some of the the guys want the very young because they they covet i well i think it's like i don't know it's like like if i can fuck a 23 year old does that mean i'm 23 no no i think they're just trying to like find they're trying to maximize the potential for their seed they're trying to find a suitable womb if you're hot you're hot sometimes if you're hot you're also young but not necessarily because you could also be i was hot what is this accent i don't know

um what's the oldest you're 38 now what's the oldest you're 38 now what's the oldest you could today honestly there is the sky's the limit pulse

if there's a pulse if there's and even then a weak pulse yeah warmth still fleeting warmth and a space heater

can do a lot oh my god so I I have to tell you so I fucked this dude when I was on in Boca can do a lot. Oh my God. So I, I have to tell you. So I fucked this dude when I was on, in Boca, not Boca,

Florida, like a trashy, Fort Lauderdale. This guy lived in, he was rich, rich, rich. And he had,

I, on Grindr, I met up with him. He's probably late fifties. Very tan. Very tan. Old Jewish guy. Very tan. Oh, jewish people love florida of course he was very tan and you could see like he had some some fat rolls and like the inside the row the creases was

what like white almost because you know what i mean because you can't push it you know i'm saying like if you well if you can't tan you can't spread the fat while you tan that which does not see the sun shall not receive its gift do you know what i mean so anyways the youngest skin about him is in the creases in the creases it's all about yeah so um but he was like a nice body type he was like a thicker taller guy late 50s maybe even 60 mama we fucked the house down you did i climbed on his body like a fucking monkey bottom uh were you in drag yeah no i was a boy i was a boy and very very very did it make you feel young it made me feel very confident comfortable because you were like at least he was very attracted to me he's collapsed

he's a collapsed awning and i'm here no he was young and tight he was spry he was spry and mobile um and he walked in and he was in and he was doing a floor routine. He had a ribbon. The thing that I, and this highlights why I would, my distaste for like young, young, young. We had a fucking, he was witty. Yes. Conversation was pop in. I'm going to tell everybody here, have sex with old people.

Mary. Yes. We need to normalize having sex with people who are in death's door if you're of age yes I like how on one hand we're saying

don't fuck the young on the other hand we're saying if you find someone older than you you are fucked that old man even if you don't like them

but I love it it needs to be more like in casual conversation hey what'd you do this weekend I fucked this old dude I fucked the wheels right off his walker bitch his 10 the tennis balls went up my ass up the at walker texas ranger i let him have it we need to normalize that because old people are hot

i fucked him twice i went to his gated community i had to show three forms of id i swear to god to get in that fucker Visiting hours I mean it was wild How rich people live That's a whole nother discussion But then he came to My little flop house hotel The next day

Because he wanted more Of the good good And it was like It was lovely Lovely Lovely Wow Yeah he jumped on me

Then like That old bastard Climbed up on top of me And he got He literally used my body It was And you loved it I loved it And I just I was like It was so lovely Climbed up on top of me. And he literally used my body. It was. And you loved it. I loved it.

And I was like, oh. It was so lovely. Great guy. Yeah. And every time he looked at you, he was like, does that feel good? You're like, does that feel young? Sometimes to fuck, to feel young. You reach an age where to feel young, you gotta fuck a corpse.

Sometimes you gotta fuck a corpse. Sometimes you gotta fuck a corpse. Normalize necrophilia. Like if I could fuck an old guy, it makes me feel like I'm in like an oil of Olay Regenerist commercial. Totally. You feel like Andy McDowell in 1982. Yes, I'm Andy McDowell. I'm a racially ambiguous mother looking at the camera and going like,

my secrets, my secret, you know, like. Totally. It was, but it's nice not like my secrets my secret you know like totally it was but it's nice not to like i you know i'm not brad pitt so like if and i've had the great you're brad pitt brad pitt brad pott or like i've i've had the fortune i've been fortunate enough to fuck really hot people but like when brad p bread pit, I'm bread, I'm bread pit, I'm bread pit. Bread pit. Oh God.

Bread pit and Ghoulia Roberts. But, but you know, it's, it's not, it's nice not to have to feel self-conscious and not to be, not to be pretentious. I don't,

it's almost like you're kind of like, you're not throwing them a bone. I mean, literally you are, but like not, do you know what I mean? It's almost like you're kind of like, you're not throwing them a bone. I mean, literally you are, but like not, do you know what I mean? It's not like a pity fuck or a sympathy fuck. No, it's mutual comfort. Yeah. I will say the chubbier times of my life, I was more with chubby men. And maybe that's because I was trying to like, I wouldn't feel comfortable.

Maybe if somebody was, I've never been with somebody who's like, let's say a personal trainer. And unless I looked like that, I think I would have a really hard time doing it. Well, let me tell you something. I have been with many guys who have what most people would call perfect bodies. Yeah. You know what? I just lied. Okay.

I have been with people like that and it didn't bother me. I think I'm trying to weave a tail. You're trying to tell. I'm trying to tell a tale. But the truth is I'm such a slut i'm such a slut anything goes honey oh yeah oh my god because there's there's a guy i there's a guy in milwaukee that i've probably been sleeping with since college and he had a great body then. His body now is bananas.

Oh, really? Fitness model. Okay. And sometimes I think I've been grandfathered in. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, totally. I couldn't have picked this up.

I hooked my years. I hooked my hooks in sophomore year. You were the first to invest in that stock. Yeah. So your shares have just. Yes, I was really thin. I had a full head of hair. I was like, do you remember when I was young?

I was so young. He's like, I of hair. I was like, do you remember when I was young? I was so young. He's like, I got to keep fucking this ghoul. Right. I'm like, I got some. I'm a board of directors. I got some tread left on these tires. Well, you know, I've been, I've seen the Real Housewives, but I've been watching a lot of the Real Housewives and I'm interested.

I guess I've not seen on reality TV women 50 plus being horny. Oh, Mary. Like women 50 plus walking in and talking to guys 20 years younger than them being like, I'm like turning on the charm and flirting. I love it. Yeah. And they're getting those fucking pussies dick. Well, that's because straight, straight guys like older women.

They love it. I mean, but yeah. And it's still to this day. You guys want old women? Fucking 14 year olds. They want one or the other. I know nothing. There's no middle ground. They it's still to this day. Do you guys want old women? Fucking 14 year olds. They want one or the other. I know. Nothing.

There's no middle ground. They want 14. The most unattractive person is a peer because they're both physically and emotionally and intellectually challenging. There was an episode of this fabulous French show called Call My Agent and Sigourney Weaver was a guest on it. And she was, during her episode, it was like the unfathomability of a 71-year-old woman having a love affair with like a 25-year-old guy,

which the reverse has happened in literature, in film, every- In real life. All the time, all the time, all the time, all the time. But it was like, that was the hurdle. And I was like, she's so, first of all, she's 71 and she looks incredible. But like- Sigourney yeah

oh yeah yeah incredible but that's that's the thing that happens it's just not a thing that we want to happen

it's the thing that happens but it's just not portrayed because young guys young guys are fucking older women all the time they love it yeah seriously they love it

MILFs and GILFs MILFs and GILFs DILFs and and more GILF milfs gilfs and good gilfs good gilfs great grandmothers i'd like to fuck great grandmothers i'd like to fuck yeah it happens a lot and something else i noticed in the show they talked about was when you're looking for love or like dating i'd never seen women have frank conversations about well what do you want do you want somebody really young and hot who you get along with or do you want to be comfortable meaning like get the old fatty

with all the money yeah yeah and i guess that's really discouraged but what i've learned from watching real housewives and a lot of 90 day fiancees okay if both parties are getting what they want out of the relationship it's a perfect marriage yeah you don't have to go well you can go like well i wouldn't marry for money well if that's really important to that person that's kind of the point of marriage thrilled yeah it's kind of the point of marriage yeah it's changed my relationship with like i don't know you and i are somewhat financially comfortable would it matter to you, let's go on a limb here and let's, well, let's take a break actually before I can process what I'm about to say. This episode is brought to you by CIBC.

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and we're back let's imagine in some scienceutopia, cornucopia, in some kind of frutopia, science fiction novel, that someone was in love with you. And in this fiction, it's inception. There's another fiction that you have the self-love to love someone else. So there's a lot of levels to this hypothesis. And in the third level. In the third level, you're not at an inpatient center

at the time. Your phone is turned on. We know where you are. You're reachable. There's a human-ish glow to the face. Yeah. The skin isn't

the color of tuna fish. Gray tuna. Gray chicken. Yeah. And let's say that you find someone. Okay. Yeah And let's say that you find someone. Okay. Yeah.

Let's say that you, Katya, financially, I think, I don't want to count your money for you, but you're doing very well. I'm fine. Yeah, I'm fine. Would it bother you if it was like, I want to marry this person. Like, I want to be with this person a long time and they didn't have no money. Would it bother you? So there's a, I was just talking about this.

I think it might've been with, with somebody we were talking to. It might've been Gigi Gorgeous or somebody else. Or it was, I was talking to a woman. No, it wasn't about Nats. It was about, Was it about Ann Getty? It was about the babies, the Ann Getty's babies.

We should do an Ann Getty calendar every year. Where we're the babies. Yeah, that's what I mean. Oh, I love that. I can do it on Photoshop. I'll do it this afternoon. No, but the, well, it doesn't matter. So blah, blah, blah.

I was, you know. But yeah, go on. Go on, honey. You know, you can identify a more important quality. So there's the bank account. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People can lose that money. Yeah.

But you can identify a hustle, a motivation, and you know whether someone is on a track to succeed. And that's a more important characteristic than a bank account. So by succeed, you mean like fulfill the dream of what they're trying to do? I mean, get some money. Oh, okay. Because money is important. Yeah. of what they're trying to do i mean guess the money oh okay because money's important yeah and i'm not trying to pay for money for somebody but i know i will so that's a that's a trap you know but like do you know what i'm saying like if i wouldn't have a problem say like so if he doesn't have money now but it seems like he might later that's a huge yes yes if i if i happen to meet someone at a point in their life where they

may be like broke but they're on the way and they have regardless of me they have a they have a uh like an identifiable um uh motivation a track they're going somewhere they're going somewhere right and whether that means i'm in business school or like I'm in grad, whatever. That's, that's more important to me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like rather than like,

I'm broke and I'm just so hot. I'm just like an artist. It doesn't matter to me. Oh, no, no, no. Also I love is great.

Love is love. Marriage is something different. Yeah. As somebody who spent like 25 years, dirt, dirt broke. Yeah. I can't go back. No, no, me let me say um i don't want to expose my mom or my family but i watched a lot

of situations where there was one income and the other person for whatever reason didn't work wouldn't work that's and it it's sustainable. That's a parasitic relationship. It brings a lot of friction, especially with gay, but look, with us, with gay, gay,

the one thing that, one of the things I always was, you know, sometimes I struggle with being gay, but I was like, thank God I don't have to get married. That was always a part of the gay storyline. That was a relief.

You know, it was a relief. So I want gay people up the right. Sure. But I will probably not participate. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, you can shoot your own foot. I'm gay people of the right sure but i will probably not participate yeah yeah it's like you can shoot your own foot i'm not gonna do it but go ahead or whatever wrong metaphor but you know what i mean well like um people have the right to do whatever but that's like fran lebowitz by the way people have not watched pretend it's a city you have to have

you watched it yet it's so good it's so good on netflix but fran lebowitz talks about that because she was in new york forever and a lot of gay friends and she never would have met would have imagined that to be in the military and to get married were the two like hills that gay people were seeming to you know to die on like those were the like what those are the two things about being gay that's so great i know i hate to not i don't want to to say anything that gets me in trouble, but I want people to have the right to get married. No, no, of course. It's equality as a concept.

I do not want to participate in this archaic, heterosexual, religion-based, historically, practice. That you could also be describing the military as well. Absolutely. It's archaic. Kurt Russell and Golihan. They're not married. No.

Why would they tether their assets? For what purpose? Oldie Han. Oldie Han. Your Oldie Han. And Kurt Russell. That would be great. We're going over to Brad Pitt's house later.

Brad Pitt. We got Brad Pitt. We got Kurt Russell. And we got Oldie Han. Oldie Han. And Demi Poore. Demi Poore. And got Oldie Hawn. And Demi Poore. And Demi Poore coming through. Demi Poore.

With the lunch meat trays. She's got lunch meat trays. No, it's just to me, I want people to have the right of course. Is our daughter? Oh, my God. Okay. Tumor Willis. That's enough.

Okay. Sorry. Okay. I just want people to have the right, but like, I've always thought about it. It's like the door prize of being gay. You have all this trauma, but guess what? You don't have to do this thing. You don't have to participate in the way you just described.

This is archaic, whatever. Absolutely. And guess what? People often point to the things like, well, I can't, I don't have legal rights to visit my through in the hospital. I'm like, okay. Joke's on you for dating someone who could get sick. I'm never going to die.

Exactly. Mama, you do hospitals? Hospitals? You smell like hospital. You smell like hospital. You smell like hospital. We're going to take another break. Introducing TD Insurance for Business

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of Salt Lake City. Okay. So what is the best franchise? What's the best location? What's the best season? It really depends what you want. I want maximum drama, maximum characters. I want a full range of human emotion. Are you okay with off the rails alcoholism? Absolutely. Prefer it.

New York. New York. Women 50 plus fighting about who's the drunk. Full blown alcoholism. They're all the drunk. Yes. It's just jacked. They drink it in the morning uh yes

okay crazy blackout tits out naked at the pool throwing things we're talking in public at dinner tables crying standing up screaming making a scene um it's just really fierce are they actresses no some of them are former actresses denise um denise richards would be surprised yeah um like at least arena right yeah lisa rena was a soap star and like a daytime tv actress um kyle richards yeah i don't know she was the little girl on halloween oh wow so she's been in movies before as a child but there's a lot of them who are performers erica jane went to like a performing arts high school stuff like that but it's just um it's wacky jackie okay and then it's really made me think about marriage more yeah and these are this is um this is a what tier of wealth would you place these

women and is there a pecking order okay it depends on the city depends on the city because the richest people in some of them seem to be just kind of bourgeois not very like upper crust yeah like the houses the women live in in potomac the beverly hills girls will be caught dead sure okay gotcha beverly hills like that's a different level where's potomac in new york that's dc basically dc that's right okay so suburbs of dc is that black it's like all black cast okay and is the is there any location that has a pretty diverse cast because i know like atlanta is diversifying it more they have okay they have? Okay. Yeah, so like Atlanta's an all-black cast.

It's NeNe, right? NeNe Leakes. Formerly, yes. Formerly. But now in like Beverly Hills, there's a black cast member, Garcelle Beauvais. Garcelle Beauvais?

Yeah, wasn't she on? She's an actor, right? She was on, she was a judge on All Stars. I didn't watch House at the time. I didn't know who she was. Garcelle Beauvais. That sounds familiar. I i can picture she's very beautiful i'm a new viewer

relatively new viewer of housewives and this has been going on forever like you're late to the game right extremely late i mean that's what's crazy is so many of these franchises like there's so many where do they start where do you begin if you want to start watching you're like oh i can't even start yeah well you've got too much going with the two kids and the yeah and the kids in the car the car's been idling outside for two hours well you don't have them in the car they're in an enclosed garage and the car's running yeah they'll be fine there's the only pipe going but yeah did you see midsummer i sure what about that opening scene with the carbon dioxide death from the car it was incredible hose taped to the mouth yeah and the hose in the into the parents but

yeah the email bitch yeah i identified with her that was wild so shocking it was so shocking yeah it was such a show i loved it i saw it on tour i couldn't wait i was like counting the days before it came out we went to see it on tour do you think that you look like glenn close and hillbilly elegy i don't think I know. I look like Glenn Close. I feel like Amy Adams. I'm such white trash. I never heard the word elegy.

I'm like, yeah, it's a hillbilly named Elegy. Her name's Elegy and she's a hillbilly. Just like Abby who lives downtown. Yeah. Downtown Abby. Downtown Abby. Did you watch that? I heard got it got slammed it got shit reviews i didn't watch it i will say there's a program everyone's been watching called promising young woman oh mary oh bitch and i didn't see it but it sounds like an incredible name for a stand-up

i thought it was i literally every time i went to tweet about it i was like i love this movie but i want to make a joke about it because i was going to say it's not a tricksy mattel biopic i would have called my special that in a heartbeat. I know. Promising Young Woman. Yeah. That is so funny. Yeah, it's a great film.

Is it sad? No, no, no. It's a revenge. It's a rape revenge movie. Oh my God. So you don't know the premise? The girl pretends to be drunk, goes to a club,

gets picked up by a guy who's a potential predator. Right as he's about to finger blaster and she's in a blackout she comes to and is like hey and then dot dot dot dot work and it builds up to this very huge kind of um because it's you should watch it you've got to watch did you see that other rape revenge movie with the two women and they play cello it's like world famous cello players was that um uh uh the was there drugs hallucinations remember no i haven't seen it oh well was that with them this

is a show we're really in touch with what's going on but you gotta see promising one was very polarizing because a lot of people because the stylization of it was very like you know um cutesy and also we're talking about age a lot of of people criticize Carrie Mulligan for looking a little too old for the part. Well, you're in the sequel promising old woman, or I promise I'm an old woman promise of an old woman. That's your version.

That's coming out. We're really excited about it. It's a necrophilia revenge porn where they think they've been fucking a corpse and bum bum. And my, my show, um, hillbilly, um hillbilly um uh enema hillbilly energy it's hillbilly energy that's my show it's gonna be yes rave reviews yeah hillbilly energy and promised i'm an old woman and i will uh to indicate intermission at your show,

I will be in Glenn Close, and I'll just drive my pickup truck into the stage and sell hot dogs. Sometimes when actresses look so ugly in the trailer, I immediately think they're going for the award. Oh, 100%. Oscar bait. I play a beautiful woman every day,

and no one will ever give me an award for it. Because they're hating at home. They're hating. Y'all fraudulent bitches hating y'all bitches fraudulent fraudulent fraudulent we were actually nominated for this pod i don't think we've mentioned it what we're nominated for a query for the a query for this podcast a query a query award who's who let me talk to Bob Queerty. Who's the,

where's the, I would have a Queerty. I'm very suspicious of any of these awards because I want to know who's on the, on the board, who's on the,

the academy. You know what I mean? Who, what's this council of elders that are, of course, I'm very humbled, but.

we were nominated for this pod. The Bald and the Beautiful. Did we win or lose? We are nominated for podcast We are up against Sibling Rivalry Juggernauts Oh there's a million

Race Chaser Sloppy Seconds Savage Love That's a big one Les Hangout Rear Review Keep It Icons Attitudes Encyclopedia Hangout. Love that. Rear View. Keep It. Another great one.

Icons. Attitudes. Brian and Aaron. Love them. Oh. And Psychobabble. Oh, yeah. This is, oh, mama, we're dead in the water.

Dead in the water. You know what, though? It's nice to be nominated for something that we, there's no way. Yeah. Who cares? You know, congratulations. It's an honor. It's an honor.

It's the hillbilly energy that we need. Hillbilly energy. Promise I'm an old woman. I'm also nominated. Barbara's nominated for a GLAAD award for Breakthrough Artist. You know, the fun thing about those, well, not now. Ask me how I felt about the nomination. How did you feel about that nomination?

GLAAD. Fraud. You're disgusting. But no, I was at a GLAAD event or once with Bianca. It was a sad event. Seasonal Affective Disorder. I was sad at a GLAAD event or once with Bianca. It was a sad event. Seasonal affective disorder. I was sad at a GLAAD event with Bianca. And then I got to meet Cynthia Nixon.

That was cool. Like stuff like that's cool. Yeah. The guy from Pose, Billy Porter, you know, like famous gay people that they trot out for clout is, you know. Well, what's even better is they'll trot out a straight ally, a rich, a famous straight ally to come tell the story of like in sixth grade i had a gay best friend sure and then they get an award absolutely

and they deserve it because they're listen at gay events i think giving words to straight people is really important it's really it's really brave yes it's really brave yeah when did you choose to be gay well jury's still out i was just so so gay. I mean, I was in, I remember being in kindergarten. I've been gay. And I don't want to say that I'm gross. And I know that some things happened to me younger that maybe made me think about sex too early. But I remember being like first grade and being like,

I would fuck so many of the dudes here. Like I remember being in first grade being like, that boy is hot. I would suck the dick right off him. You should have been born in France. I should have been. These nuts are fabulous. Yeah, we are enjoying

some lovely, what do we got here? Ruby Royale nuts from Squirrel Brand. Latrice sent me these and they're delicious. Lovely. Well, this is a dessert medley.

Yeah. Let's get clear. This is not just a nut. We've got nuts in there. We also got chocolate covered raisins. I don't normally get into pistachios but these are good yeah all together the mix is some is better than the sum is better than the latrice was on qbc selling nuts really latrice on close-up of nuts and then instead of latrice giving in her deep baritone voice

a flavor profile of the nuts in the in the can's. And that's how I knew 2021 would be better. I know. I know. That's a good sign. Latrice selling nuts on the TV. That's a really good sign. She said, move over RuPaul at Mali BB. Did she say get those nuts into my face at any point?

No, she was just like. It's her being like, these nuts are quality. Yeah. I don't know why that was her voice. I can't explain that. What? But you know, my accents are so good. I know.

It's uncanny. Do you know about that? Was that you or Latrice? God, it's so hard to know. Do you know about this? Hold on. Okay. I just Googled golfer faggot.

Okay. Hold on. Get into this. Golfer Justin Thomas says gay slur and anger after missing a short putt. Does he say faggot? Yes. What does he say? So Justin Thomas is expressing regret because there's a homophobic slur that he said in

anger after missing a putt. So, you know, those greens have, you know, um, so it's kind of fierce. No, but there's microphones all around and he's golfing in it. But if somebody is golfing and they miss it and they say faggot is an instinct, it means they say it a lot. Of course. What would you, I mean, I don't want to say that it's, it's not a slur. It makes me laugh. It's yeah.

I think it's funny. I'm not offended. Yeah. You know, I was thinking about this earlier. The idea of a professional golfer in these fucking white pants, there's like chinos. It's funny. It's funny. I would say fuck my ass. That's what I would say.

That's my reflex. Fuck my ass. What's the equivalent of that? Gay people golfing and going like breeder. There is no equivalent. It's just obscenity. It's not a question of like a slur. It's just appropriate or inappropriate.

Not to any particular person. It's unfortunate because he's getting pretty canceled. I learned about this on another podcast. He's getting pretty canceled. It's a punishable offense, however. What do you think an adequate punishment is for that? Well, the challenge is, does saying faggot once mean someone's a confirmed homophobe? I don't know.

So, I don't think he should go to gay jail. What does that even mean? Well, have you seen the prison show Oz? That's gay jail, honey. Stick a spoon up my ass. They put a spoon in the ass. I remember very vividly. Yeah.

Yeah. I just wanted to bring that up because I just thought it was funny. I just keep thinking of it around the house and I keep going, fuck it. And I just think it's so funny. I know that's awful, but it's just funny. No, I mean, it is awful. It points to something going. And I just think it's so funny. I know that's awful, but it's just funny. No, I mean, it is awful. I'm not points to something awful. I hope if he's listening to this,

he doesn't take it as like, keep doing it. We love the bit. Yeah, no, yeah. We're not interested that, but I'm,

I'm certainly not offended by it. But if you told me a pro golfer was going to say faggot after missing a putt, it is funny. It's funny. Why faggot? I mean, it's like you're a fat was the ball pink or something, you know?

Right. Anyway. Well, the takeaways are fuck old people. Yeah. Don't say faggot on I mean, it's like you're a fat, was the ball pink or something, you know? Right. Anyway. Well, the takeaways are fuck old people. Yeah. Don't say faggot on the golf course. And, um,

don't fuck them kids. And don't fuck them kids. And eat the nuts. And eat the nuts. I'm just going to give an unsolicited plug. Treat yourself to these delicious nuts. Ruby Royale. Give Latrice Royale the coin,

honey. And that's, um, that's it from, uh, the coin Tina, the Royale. Give Latrice Royale the coin, honey. Yeah. And that's, that's it from the coin Tina, the coin Tina. And that's all the hillbilly energy we have from a promising old woman. Goodbye. Bye.