The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Juno Birch’s Ol’ Timey All-American BBQ!

Episode Date: October 13, 2026

Come one, come all, to Juno Birch’s Ol’ Timey All-American BBQ, nestled in a picturesque Burbank backyard where grease-soaked hamburgers, bacon-wrapped hot dogs, and mountainous slabs of pulled pork swim in a kiddie pool of condiments and full-fat soda! Juno will be singing select songs from Rocky Horror Picture Show while Phil works the grill with the quiet desperation of a man whose blood-sugar level is one hotdog bun away from a trip to the hospital! Celebrate precious American traditions such as competitive backyard wrestling, patriotic apple bobbing, and Juno’s beloved cat Cyril judging a neighborhood beauty pageant while driving a monster truck directly into the in-ground swimming pool! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

You really, really gorgeous. I love this outfit. Thank you. It's very, who does it give? It gives, I mean, it gives Deo. Oh, yes. But you're always giving Deo. I'm always giving Katha O'Hara. You never know.

In the studio, we have Juno Birch here. We have today's extraterrestrial. I don't know, extraterrestrial. Yeah, that's the word. She's having a stroke. No. I almost said extra testicle. That is not it.

Today's extraterrestrial co-host hails from the land of the UK. She's a Sim connoisseur. an incredible artist. It is the one and only Juno Birch. Hello. What I'm looking. Hello. Hello. Hello. We're very lucky. We just had you like what? A couple months ago? Maybe. May. Yes. And I feel like what's like especially since you don't live here. I'm like oh we had her. I probably won't have her back for however long. And then I found you, we met up this week and I was like, how long are you going to be here? And then we just we October 3rd.

October 3rd. October 3rd. Do you know about October 3rd? Me and girls? Yeah. Yes. It's October 3rd. It's October 3rd. What you don't realize is UK people know everything about American TV and movies. I know. And when we know anything British, we expect a lot of extra credit. Yes.

I know. That's true. It's like, did you know that I've seen Little Britain? British people are like, who cares? Or when I tell people I love the British office, they have a very warm response to that, actually. They're always like, oh, that's good. We often find that you don't understand our humor as well. but I think it's certain things

the office is one of them yeah so if you watch the office and your American extra points that's what I think so too and it's only like one season I think it's not a long watch yeah an American office is like nine seasons wait what about do I get extra points for

what else is extra points I mean is Spice World a given who cares? Spice Girls Spice World oh no no I thought that was in American oh no that's a British movie I think so

did you know Richard O'Brien crawls out of the toilet oh yes Oh yes. And he goes, my life has been a meaningless lie. Love. Love it's. Love. And then also, what's my other favorite British program? I guess I would say, I don't know, what's your, like, top of, using Catherine Tate. I know Katia loves Catherine Tate. Katia loves. He's a gay man. He's a gay man, Nour. She loves that shit. Her about John, Karen. She's a gay man, nor. The line that I always say to Katia is, um, we've just had new tunnel groove in our bathroom. You will,

die. She loves. Oh my God. She wanted to see Catherine and O'Mary so bad. Has you got to see it? No, I was over there and I went, I had to, I was sick. I had to do Mighty Hoopla.

Love Mighty Hoopla. Did Mighty Hoopla. And I was like, I'm going to go to a play while there. So I was so sick. My arthritis was like killing me. And I got there and I was sick and I was like, I'm going to go anyway. So I buy a matinee ticket to the Hunger Games live on stage,

which I realize. Wait, that's the thing in the UK? In London, the Hunger Games live on stage. Is it a musical? Kind of. It's the plot of the book, the movie, as a stage play. And I left it in remission because I was so sick, but it was right when Katness goes into the Hunger Games.

So I didn't get to see any onstage murdering. Oh, right. But it was kind of crazy. One thing I really want to see really, really bad is a little shop of horrors so badly on Broadway. I've never seen it because I'm always in and out of New York. I never get time to stay. You know what you got to do?

When you go to New York, you've got to lock out some time just to see plays. Because I've seen a little shop like twice. Death Becomes her. Oh, go see that. Oh, I love it. No, I've seen it. Oh, you live. I've got to see the original cast.

How was it? Oh, my God. Well, like, listen, the best thing I've ever seen on stage is wicked until I watched Death Becomes her. That is up there. And that was the best. Oh, my God. You saw the original cast, so it was like Megan Hilty and Michelle Williams. Jennifer Simard.

Michelle Williams, yes. That's fierce. I wish you could see again. Gabriel and Ray just grabbed each other's knees and went, I've got to perform that for Boise, I think. You are? For the gays. We're doing Boise this weekend.

We're doing Boise Pride, which is so crazy because you're here. And then I was chooking at my schedule and I was like, are you at Boise on Friday? And you were like, yeah, I was like, me too. Because we hug out Sunday, Monday, Labor Day. No, it wasn't Labor Day. It was just Sunday. Oh, we went to Michael Henry's birthday. Yes, we did.

Okay. Yes, and I got bitten. By mosquitoes? By, I'm still itching. From mosquitoes? Everybody says there's mosquitoes in my back yard. Her garden's infested with fleas. That is not true. Mr. Wonderful says he gets bitten and he does, but they never bite me.

Well, usually it's Phil, who gets bit, but now he's got diabetes, so I'm the one that gets bit. They're like, oh, if there's no sugar in his blood, let's just go to her. Yeah, we all, you know, it was so funny to me, Phil, because he has diabetes and he's learning the ups and downs of that. He was at the house and he was like, I think my blood sugar is low. And I snapped into action. I was like, what do you need? The only food we have is an English muffin. You were looking for things that said English on them.

I just like, all I have is an English muffin, which I think is an American thing. Do you guys don't call them English muffins, do you? Yes, I think we do. Oh. A muffin. Yeah, because a muffin is a cupcake. Oh, right. Yes.

Our muffins are cupcakes. Oh, okay, understood. It's all topsy-turvy. But I saved his life. I put some jelly and stuff and butter on it and saved his life. And while I was just next to the pool, like... Well, you were just drunk and smoking and laid out. I don't drink that often, but I was pretty steaming on Sunday.

I'm like an embargo on myself from drinking. I've been pickled for like a week. Do you remember me reading tarot cards in your loon room in a very southern accent? The very southern accent. I was giving everybody their future. Very like that. We talked and we... We unlocked each other's futures together, didn't we?

I will say, I try to read the cards from what they actually mean, but you had no knowledge and you were winging it and it still felt real. I'm quite good at that. Of lying? No, it's fortune telling. I think I learned that on Sunday and I look like a fortune teller as well. I was going to say, if only had outfits for it. I know. I've only had something to wear.

I went to see you at Mickey's on Monday. Yes. And girl, I was like, I had been drinking all weekend. it's been a stressful time, as you know. I was drinking all weekend. And then not all day, just at nights, but like gay nights where you wake up like, so Sunday, Monday I go,

oh, Mr. Wonderful goes, we gotta go to Mickey's. I was like, whose fucking idea was this? He was like, you told Juno that you were going. I was like, we're going. I'd already peck smoking up Michaels, drunk, being like, I'm coming to see you tomorrow. So I was like, we're going. I had so much fun at Mickey's.

That was one of the best directions I've seen in a while. Well, it was an iconic cast, wasn't it? It really was, it was you, Raven. Yes. Morgan McMicha's, Pandora Box, Rockum Sacra. Yes. Is that it?

Wasn't there one more? Oh, Mariah Paris, Belantiago. Oh, yes. It was like a very stacked cast. It was fabulous. And all the famous drag queens were there. I know. Brooklyn was there.

Eureka was there. We're walking across the stage. She did. There was. Bob the drag queen, Naomi Smales. B'allet, Nomey. Monet. She was in a long straight, La Roch wig.

Oh, yes, she was. But was she? She wasn't in makeup. Oh, she just decided. I think she just wanted to wear, she wanted to show up to the local drag show and wear a long, expensive human wig. And be like, I could, you bitch just can never. You know, the thing is, is when I'm, when I'm not in drag, like, this to me is not my drag drag, do you know what I mean? This is just what I look like when I go to Ralph's.

But sometimes I get worried that people think I'm in drag when I'm in the audience, because I don't like going to drag shows in drag. It feels rude. You think it feels rude. I think it feels rude. When I saw a little shop of horrors, who was sitting behind me? Shailene Whitley, is that her name? Woodley? She was sitting behind me and I was sitting behind me. She was sitting behind me. I'm in drag. Because Brittany and I was doing the cover report thing, Britney. I was like, I'm in drag. I was no time to go to get up drag. And she got a little shop. And I was like, I've seen it. I've seen it in the seat and they put me and right when the music starts. Because they were like, we don't want people to bother you guys. I said, great. I don't care. But I'm in drag because there's no time to go to get up drag. So I sit down, Shalienin Woodley's four feet tall sitting behind me. And I go, hi. Oh my gosh. And I watched the whole show like this because I don't want to block people. I've done exactly the same. Because what are you going to do? Okay, exactly. What are you going to do?

You're going to sit indignantly in hair like this and block the person behind you. Do you know what I did at the Beetlejuice, Beatlejuice Premier? What? I went in, you know that Phyllis Dillawig I was wearing on Monday? Yes. So I was wearing that to the Beatles Juice premiere and it was so high and they sat me in the front row. And I was like, oh my God, no, I can't block everyone's view. So I stuck with thumbs in my eyes.

in my lace to go take the wig off. Because no one's going to see me. It's pitch black. I'll just shove it back on when the movie's finished. Right. Then Tim Burton, Michael Keaton and Winona Ryder and Katha O'Hara just come storming in.

And I pulled my wig back on straight away. And Tim Burton pointed at me. And said, keep the wig on bitch. What the fuck is that? He said, keep your goddamn wig on. He said, you better be a wig under there if you're taking that off. What if you took that off?

And then you had a long straight blonde wig and just like let it hit the floor. like, okay, we can watch the movie now. Did you like Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice? Oh, I loved it. I loved it too. Listen, I felt like there would need to be,

I feel like we could have done with one less storyline in it and move it to the third one. Also, Catherine O'Hara's death was not, I wanted more of a a build-up to it because it was the two rattlesnakes that just, she died.

Yeah. But I want to pitch to Beatle Juice, Beetle Juice, Beetle Juice, Beetle Juice. There was a salon in the underworld. And imagine if I could go and play the woman that works in the salon in the underworld. We need that to happen. You know, I really liked in Beetlejuice. I liked the Willem Defoe, a guy with the brain exposed. Yes.

He was a detective, right? Yeah. I love that shit. I love, oh, and I love the, like, 60s Carnaby Street, Dead Girl in the window. Oh, like, the cake scene as well. it was just a lot of good. I watched it for the second time recently because I'd only seen it when it came out

and I liked it even better the second time. Yeah. I don't know. I think I appreciated more the second time. And Catherine O'Hara, rest in peace, she really brought back that character in such a good way. Yeah.

You know the way when she's like, where she's screaming a head off in the living room. And she's like, what are you doing? I'm unleasing my primal scream or something like that. I can't remember what she says. That's you.

Yeah. That is kind of you. You do give her vibe that, that character. John. Moira Bose. Phil. Do you think she would put, do you think that she's on your mood board as far as like your personal dress? How did you figure out how to dress like this? No, I don't think, I don't think Dahlia Dietz is on there. I think I've had my hair like when I'm not in wearing wigs. He's always been a bit of a scrub back up to head scarf moment. Yeah. When we first met you had like a

Maryland running to the post office vibe. It was like hair tied up with a curl. And that that day, it was the first time I met you, and I remember you pulled up your phone and the first thing you said to me, you had a picture of fern mayo from jawbreaker and you said, that's you. But it wasn't fern mayo, it was violet. It was violet, actually, yes. When she's all, like, hoard out. It wasn't, like, nerdy fern mayo. That would have been mean.

That would have been mean, like, here, this is you before she got a makeover. That would be awful. Oh, my God. We met at the Albatross show, right? Albert Schloss. Albert Schlaas. Is that what it's called? Yes.

It's like German. cabaret sausages vibes I've gotten quite drunk there too I remember there was one time

we were having food and you just randomly stood up and was like I was dancing you were in your you I think you were getting into your

DJ era so you were just like something happens to me that if we're somewhere and I like the song oh I love this song I need a few drinks in me and then I'll sit back down

oh I love you know we both love the Sims when they do that dance there's that one I think they do as a group that's like, it's like riding a horse like this. Wait, it's called, um, what, what's he called? Um, it's one where they'll all join in. It's a schmooze. It's called something. It's called something like that. When they're all joining together. And they all are doing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Love that shit. Oh, you must miss. I loved you on YouTube. You must miss doing YouTube. I do. I really do miss doing YouTube. And for the reason I stopped doing it all the time was because I just, I'm really bad with technical things. Really? Yeah, and I get very over, but I edit all my videos on YouTube. What program do you use? Final Cut Pro.

That's what I use. And I just, I couldn't, it was easy to be in lockdown because it was nothing else to do. Right. But now, I would love to have my own little talk show and make it the Juno show. Oh, yes.

And I want to draw people while I'm interviewing them. Like a little set? I want a little like QVC mode. moment with rubber hands. Can I be the DJ? Please, yes. Can we wheel you in at the bat? Yeah, what if you're Ellen and then like I'm like the DJ over here that you could be like, am I right, Schmiddy or whatever? And I'm like, sure, yeah. And then I play music as the guest walk on. Yes. We'll be our back. Oh, like him in Hey Queen. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Or we could cut a

hole in a coffee table and have you come with your head, your bald head just comes out of the coffee table like Madame Leota in Haunted Mansion. That would also be really iconic for you. Have you done her for a video or Halloween or something? No, I've never. Maybe I should do with this Halloween. I've watched some really good videos of people making a prop. They make a clear bowl,

right? Cut a hole in it. Then they take a white wighead, the foam. And then they do the hair. And then if they set that on the table, they'll put a projector over here in the room and project the face onto it. So like when you walk in, the face is like actually moving. I think that's so cool

I love Madam Leota And then I've seen people wear costumes Where it's like their head And it's a long tablecloth Yes That always looks like World's tallest table though What was it?

It was the Disney thing That did it recently And then Megan Hilty Megan Hilty Oh she did it She did Madame Leota In the Disney Um

Yes what's it called The presentation of what's coming For the rides And all that sort of thing Like they're up fronts or whatever And she looked fabulous She is gorgeous I've always wanted you to do the space helmet.

Oh, yeah. But I feel like I'd have to have the face cut out because he's going to get steamy in there. Do you know what I do for Superdisco? Because that's like a space theme. I have this stick. Almost like Marie Antoinette, like the mask with a stick on it. It's a long stick with the front of a globe. So when you walk out, the audience sees your head in there, but it's not closed in the back.

And that way, you can just like take it on. Well, when you finish this tour, you can have it. You can have it. Yay! I have some really good space. Cheers. Oh, ask it a question. Well, this is my version.

When you're not around to tell me my fortune, this is all I have. So what should we say? How about how is our show going to go this weekend in Boise? I'm sad I can't watch you Friday or Saturday, but. It's fine. You see me on Monday. You know. How is our show going on in Boise?

Delete it bald. Is that a good sign? Do you know what that means? Do you know what that means? You have to shave your head. No AC. No. You know, I checked the weather.

It's 76, which isn't awful. What's that? I need to get used to that, don't I? Do you think you'd ever move here? Because if you do, you're going to have to get used to Fahrenheit. Yeah, I'd move here. Do you know about inches and stuff? Inches?

Yes. Inches. Oh, I've been weighing myself in pounds. Why? I watch 600 pound life all the time. So I get used to me. My mom and, we have to tell my mom or my sister or whatever and say it's in pounds. Oh, I said gas station the other day.

Gas station. They're going to tell you. But no, I'd move here. But the thing is, I can't get to, who I'm moving to America because people get mad. They're like, how dare he was a trans woman moved to America.

But in a lot of ways, I feel safer as a trans woman in L.A. than I do in Manchester Piccadilly Gardens sometimes. I guess I trust a trans person's instinct. I trust a trans person and say this is where I feel the safest. Mm-hmm. I do.

I went into, um, was it Ralph? I went into Ralph. Well, that's a trans hot spot. And there was one person who was a customer, one person who was working there, both trans. And I turned to Philly and I just said, I feel at home. No, I think they only allow two at a time. So one of you had to leave. It's a one in, one out situation.

I'm not going anywhere, bitch. Whereas, like, I mean, of course, you're right. Los Angeles is a specific case. I've also learned in Los Angeles, never assume someone's straight. If I can't tell they're gay, I also don't assume. they're straight because there's a lot of people here who do gay stuff, maybe don't have identify as gay. You know, the kids now don't even say they're gay or straight. They just be like, I just like people. I know, you know, I actually had to message the promoter of

Boise here because they said the daytime thing was kid friendly. And I said, can I do sweet transvestite? I feel like you should be allowed to do that. Of course, yes. And he was like, yes, every man and child and woman should know. They should. Yes. You sing that live, right? Yes. I've seen videos of it. You really. You really. eat that shit up. Thank you. Do you know, it's one of the only songs I'm super comfortable singing. You sound amazing on it. Thank you. I'd go for a bit of a comptory. Would you ever do, would you ever do like a stage play? Maybe not Rocky, but like a play. One of my dream roles is to play Franken Furtt. We talked about this last time is they often cast really bunch guys to play. Yeah, they do.

And I think like we need a bit of a Laverne Cox sort of, you know, she played Frank and Furtt. That's true. She was gorgeous. Yeah. You know what I did? I remember seeing that movie. I only seen it once. I really loved the opening science fiction double feature in that. You only saw Rocky Horror once? No, the remake.

Oh, right. I see. I was going to say. I don't know if it called a remake, but the one with Lever and Cox that was made for TV. Yes. That one, I loved the opening number of science fiction double feature, the girl with the Usherat outfit.

I thought that was really awesome. Because you can't just do the lips again. You know what? I don't think I've seen it all the way through. Oh, it's a great opening number for sure. I used to get Liquorice Black to do science fiction double feature when she opened for me on tour with Attack of the Stunning. Because it was all space alien theme,

but she kind of was like this black and white usher. And I think instead of popcorn, she had like hard candy, so she just whipped it at people. Meatball was just here and she said she did an open number where she said, you get a car, you get a car, and she would throw keys into the audience. Handfuls of keys at people. Imagine being drunk and being hit with metal.

I mean, they probably love that in precinct. I think they do. I think, listen, for the prices of drinks in Los Angeles, at least you go home with a prize. And who knows, that key goes to something? The drinks here. Oh, girl. You got to boof it.

There's two things that are scary about the drinks here. One of the things is like your banks got drained from what two drinks. And the other thing is a cup full of vodka. They're really strong. I had one drink, not this Monday, the Monday before at Mickey's. I was, I fell off. my buffalo trainer got stuck in between a stool

and the stage and I fell and whacked my coxics on the stage. I was like... Wax my coxics! I whacked my coxics! She's a medical doctor. We didn't mention that. Yes. I have to ask if you were going to move out here to, or move to America,

you've traveled all over the United States. What areas are you charmed by? Well, I probably move here for... Because whenever I'm here, there's so much work all the time. I can do so much here in L.A. But if there was a dream place to live, it would either be a little suburban home in Burbank. A little pool, a little cateo, a little lawn.

Flamingos. Flemings. Very humble, just two bedrooms. Yeah. Or I would move in the middle of like Sedona. Oh, wow. Oh, Arizona. I love the heat.

I feel the same way. If I'm not in drag, I love 100 degree day. Yeah. Make it hot. I think it's good for my skin. I like sweating. Oh, well, I break out when I'm in the UK when I come here, spots gone. That's how I feel.

My skin is so dry in Wisconsin because it's so cold and dry. And when I move to L.A. and I'm sweating all the time, it's a lot better for me. I wonder what it's like in Florida because that's moist. It's so moist. What do you think of Florida? I feel like UK people love Florida. People will be like, everybody who's been in America's been in Miami.

Do you know what it is? I think it's because there's so many. direct. Flight is Orlando. It's Disneyland, all that sort of thing. That's true. And it's also Miami Beach is kind of like holiday-e, whereas

L.A. Beach isn't as holiday- Right. Do you know what I mean by holiday? Do you mean vacation? Vacation-y. That's it. Okay. I'm thinking like Santa Claus. I'm like, what is she talking about? I have to ask why why did the UK

take away RuPaul's Drag Race UK? Oh, that is a good question. I haven't found out about that the other day. Me too. I have no idea. And I find you responsible somehow. So I need you to explain to everybody what you did. She's managed to go and do these tours without going on the show.

It's over. Right. It's over. But why do you think? I, well, I think there was a time when drag trended, right? There was like a height of drag. And I think anything that trends has to come down a little. bit before it goes back up again. And I think we're in that period at the moment where the mainstream

loves drag and then it's kind of dipped a little bit. So maybe it's something to do with that. Or maybe it's just, I don't know, the... I think drag needs it. I think this like, we're thinking of a trend dipping, but I think of this as a time of distillation of like, only the strong will survive in drag. Only people who really want to do it will be here. Only audience members who really love drag are going to be watch because you're right i think it's kind of doing this a little and i think in a few years we're going to have a big batch of new drag audience members new drag queens yes and this can be very revitalizing because i think the whole scene needs you know that thing where you have a dollhouse and you go i don't like how many this is laid out you just throw it all out well like Michelle fifer

in batman returns yes i think the drag scene could use a little bit of a recombolulation or reimagining and i think like it's going to be new audiences new people When it swings back the other way, I think it's going to be a new vibe. I hope so. Because I think some of it, I love drag. I really do.

I think we're going to have to go back to gay bars and being gross and weird for gay people. And then the drag is going to get really potent and crazy again. Yeah. I mean, for me, my, I've been through a weird thing with drag lately. I mean, last time I was here with you, I hadn't done dragging,

I think, until Monday. I don't think I'd been in full wig in a very, very long time. That's right. I've been in a midlife crisis. I think that's what's happening. And I stopped doing the blue. Right. And then I was like, and then I was like, I don't mean, I think the line for me in and out of drag is very blurred now.

I understand. It used to be completely, it would be a big blue alien clown and then it'd be just like me a little dressed down. But now it's just, the line is blurred for me now. Yeah, I know this isn't your drag, but you. I mean, I don't remember you dressing so big, let's say five years ago. It's almost like you were hiding out of drag a little bit. Yes. And now I see what you're saying, which is, because I saw you Monday.

It was the first time I've seen you on stage with your natural skin color in my whole life. And I was like, wow. In some ways, I was like, that's the girl from my backyard a couple days ago. But in some ways, I'm like, the performance, the character, it's still you. Yeah. But it's not you. The only difference is the color. The color and the, and also I can see your eyes.

You used to hide your eyes more as the blue thing. Well, it started because I was really bad at eye makeup. And that was my excuse is that I just had the little lids poking over the top. But then I would only take the sunglasses off if people were paying me for a show. So if it was like you were coming to my tour shows, I'd take the glasses off and do like a psycho thing. How could you see? I couldn't.

Have you not seen the amount of times I've fallen over on stage? Oh my God. You got them with you? I've had them for years. I mean, but these are so tiny. Do you secretly, when you're Juno, when you were in this era, do you secretly look over or under? I'll tell you if I put them on. Let me see.

I can't actually. I think this year of Rachel Merch. I got them on on Monday. I did the number in them on Monday. I started with them. You did? Yeah. You were too drunk to remember.

Listen. True. Okay. So the way I would look is I would look down that I don't look over. You look down. I look down. Because if you see. Oh yeah, it does kind of look more like you're looking at a space, which is funny.

Yeah. Okay, that foot goes there. That foot goes there, that kind of thing. Yeah. Did you end up liking those sunglasses I gave you? I love them. The one of the little heels. I nearly wore them today.

But then it was like green, pink, red. No, let's just do green and red. It's Christmas. Can I have a question? Ask a question about your hair. Does one ever just go on its own and somebody has to go, ma'am? Oh, all the time. And you go, oh, thank you.

All the time. I think they're pretty on there today. They're on, but I wonder if anybody's at the airport or something. I was like, ma'am, I think you dropped something. Well, you know, a couple of years ago, I was on tour. I mean, we stopped in Joshua Tree. I know we weren't on tour. We were doing a road trip.

I was in Joshua Tree. And one of these had fallen off. And we didn't realize. And no one else said anything because I think they thought he was a tumbleweed. You know, in the... And it was, he looked like a tumbleweed. Or maybe they thought they were not being a supportive friend by calling it out. They're like, let's pretend it's not there.

Yeah. That's normal. Don't tell that trans woman that. Her hair's fallen off on the floor. She'll get this far again. One of her eight scrunchy hairballs flew off. I wonder if you ever put one on Cyril as like a cape. Does it look like a lion?

No, as a cape. Yes, he put around his neck. But he walks backwards with it on. Because he thinks it's stuck. He thinks it's stuck. He's trying to walk back out of it. Some people with pets have told me when they go on trips and they come home, their animal is excited.

And sometimes they tell me the animal gives him the cold shoulder. When you come home with Cyril like, well, well, well, bitch. It's been different every time. So the first time we went away for a while, we come back and he was screaming, like screaming in the bathroom. Like emotional. It's just angry, I think, that we had left. But last time he'd come back and he was just like, no. He'll come.

But he responds to my voice. That's, he knows that. That's how you talk to him. What little people got wonderful? You used to film your videos in your kitchen. Right? Yeah. I did.

I have a hard time. imagining you sitting making computer game videos in the kitchen. Well, the thing is, though, is British kitchens are very small. That's what I mean. So why the kitchen and where would Phil hide? In the bedroom. Go in there and shut up. Don't make noise. I don't know why I filmed it in the kitchen. I think it was because there was not enough room in the bedroom to put like, you know, the green screen thing up. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Are you super famous in Manchester? I don't know. Are you the Rupal of Manchester?

Are you the Rupal of Manchester? No, no, no, no. Rupal's the Rupal of Manchester. I thought I was at one point. I've not even done Manchester Pride before. That's why I'm with Milwaukee. I've only done Milwaukee Pride like once. Really?

Like personally, I've only performed there like once, yeah. That's weird, that in it? No, I think it's like, maybe you feel like I do in Milwaukee. I always felt like my, they're just like, oh her. Like, not like, oh her, but they're like, we've seen her. Yeah, she's here all the time. We see her at the gay bar's drunk. Like it's not impressive.

You know what I mean? Yeah. If you want to see me, you just go to gay bars enough and you'll probably see me. So it's not like a special show like showing. Whereas Boise, we're not from Idaho. It'll be exciting when you and I are in Boise. And it's like, oh my God. Is Idaho.

I can't tell you much about Isaho. Idaho. Boise is the capital. It's very gay, right? I think so. Usually in the more rural states, the big cities are like the gay capital, mecca. So it will be gay, but also Idaho is where the potatoes come from in America. Oh, like Ireland.

What's island? Potatoes. Oh, Ireland. I thought you said island. Ireland. Ireland. John, gay man, nor. Potatoes.

I look Irish today, don't I? A little bit. Do you have any Irish lineage? I don't think so. What are you supposed to be? Just white. I don't know. I did Google my last name.

name once. He said it was Egyptian, but I know that's not true. I think that was a load of bullshit. I did that when I was in college. I was like, oh, I'm Egyptian. I'm not Egyptian. Is Cyril Egyptian? What kind of cat is that? Oriental short eyes, I think they come from Thailand. Wow. I think they originate from Thailand. He has such a unique face. It's like a beautiful, isn't hey. People say he looks like me. I don't not believe that. Both me and Phil look like Cyril. We've got those noses. Oh my God. You're both, you're both turning into cereal. I know. But you know how people say that their pets look like their owners. Yeah. Do you think that happens when they adopt, like, or they already are just attracted to a pet that looks like them? Or do you think over time, the pet and the humans start

morphing into one? Well, I think sometimes gay guys start to dress like each other, look like each other. So I think with gay men, that happens. And do you think it happens with the girls? girls? Do lesbians start to twin? I think the white ones do. The clicky ones. I think you're right. Because sometimes me and Mr. Wonderful, we were going to something.

Oh, you were over Sunday. He came downstairs and had on almost the same outfit as me. I was like, no, no, no. I beat you downstairs. You got to go change. This is a thing. So Phil likes to do that. Match me. Oh, he does.

I hate that. No, don't dress like. Yeah. Or it'll wear like one of my t-shirts of merch t-shirts. I think that's sweet he had it on at the show Monday. No, I know, but sometimes if it's my big face on the t-shirt, I'm like, it looks like I've forced you to wear it. Right. Because I look like I force him to do everything. So it looks like I've gone, get that t-shirt on now. Now, if you come to, if you move to America,

you know, we would have to have some disgusting American-themed cookout to like welcome you. Please, I, there's something, I love tacky, greasy American thing. Yeah, you seem to have a fixation on barbecuing. Yeah, because you can't really have a barbecue in the UK. You probably get two days a year where you could have a barbecue in the UK. You know, when Katina are on Netflix and we're watching British shows, if it's a gloomy day, we're always like, this is the sunniest day of the year. Because it's like a grey sky.

It's miserable. It's miserable. And a lot of apartments in the UK, we only have windows on one side. So you're limited with lighting and everything. And I think that's another reason why I stopped doing YouTube is because, you know, I've got all my lights and everything, but I like a bit of daylight in my YouTube. I get it. It can be a little depressing to close up. You know, I like to film in front of windows if I can, but it just rarely happens. When I'm a tour and stuff, I'll usually just try to

film in front of windows. You have some kind of fixation that you think that barbecuing is like an American, like, high-level American activity. I think that you think of the barbecue in like Edward Cisorhands. Yes. Okay. But, but, no, I also know that I like the idea of doing like redneck barbecue. Oh yeah. Everyone's like that and they talk like that. They just shove sugar on it and everything. Oh, I want to do that.

I've heard in the UK they do like American themed parties where people have like red solo cups. Yes. So the red cups thing that we associate that with American house parties. Right. So and beer pong. And people do like mullet wigs and like American flag shirts and like. I've never done that.

But I'm sure it's a thing. People do like kind of like mega themed. That's like the America party. It's like camouflage and like breadbite and blue and like a buck tooth. I guess they're kind of doing the South. Yeah. Well, I think it's like, you know, when we come to America, like I think the cartoonish Americans are usually the ones that talk like they.

It's like, oh, could you say that again? Yeah. Like it's like the movies. It's like, wow, West. Like it's fascinating to us. Have you ever seen Squidbillies? No. It's a cartoon with some squids that are from the south.

That sounds like that kind of thing. I think you would love it. Cartoon SpongeBob, like SpongeBob. Like SpongeBob. I love SpongeBob as well. I just like, I love it. I'm always, if it's on, if it's, Paramount always suggests it as like, do you want to watch this?

I'm always like, sure, yes. Love SpongeBob. I didn't realize, so I was, I'm going Universal soon while I'm here. Are you going to ride the new ride? Oh, I can't. And you know why? Because it goes like, I can't do repetition. It was on the news this morning.

What? Nothing bad happened. Oh. No, I'm saying the KTLA News is doing a piece on like the new roller coaster, the Fast and the Furious. It's cars that spin while it's on a roller coaster, right?

But I can't do Simpsons. That's a ride that'll make you sick. Wait, what's the Simpsons one? The Simpsons ride at Universal. I don't remember the Simpsons ride. It's so violent. You go in this little cart and you... Is he...

What's he called? I think it's just called the Simpsons. Don't you remember the Simpsons area? I'm so excited. The Simpsons area, Universal? The Quickey Mart bit, yes. Yeah, yeah. I went to Cletus's chicken shack.

Yeah, across from the Quickey Mart and the donut shop, there's a ride. You've never ridden The Simpsons ride. I don't think so. Yeah, you sit in like a car and it moves with like the screen. It was the back to the future ride, RIP. See, I think I have motion stimulating. I think I have a little bit of memory loss. I don't remember a lot of things.

I just watched a video of Kelly and I. I was looking for this clip of. Kelly saying, I'll always be a slut, the mind of a slut, the body of a slut or something. And I found like three different clips of Kelly on this pod, different times, of me asking her if her husband knows that she used to be a whore. So not only does she not remember me asking that. I don't remember asking it. Do you know what my theory is? I think as trans women, when we get to a certain age, we go back to being children.

Let's take a break. I think. No, I do. I think it's a thing. So Kelly's time traveling back 80 years. Yeah. No, I mean like we go back to being kids again. Like we forget things.

We're just a bit like. Don't you love Kelly? I love Kelly so much. She's everything. She's killing that pot. And what's so funny is when she started it, she was like, who's going to want to hear me? Because she's like an actress.

She's never just been like, here I'm Kelly. I'm going to talk. We're like, what are you talking about Kelly? Like you are so funny. You're going to be amazing. She's absolutely brilliant. She's brilliant. I love so much.

She's so funny. And she's like, I think she was scared of like, if you've always played characters, I think she was scared of like talking about her real life, using her real voice. And like, of course, her hair goes to here and the microphone goes here. Yeah, it's just. She's like, talking to you in the pod through a mail slot and a door. It's like, Kelly, we can't see your mouth. She's like, I don't care. You can't say her mouth, kids are your pants.

Did you know that she believes she has a good side? She bleaches. She believes that one side she loves, the other side she doesn't like. visually. Like Barbara Streisand. Oh, really? I was like, Kelly, you look the same. She's pretty symmetrical, isn't she?

She looks exactly the same. But you know what? I guess, again, I'm just, if a trans person says they have a good side, I go with it. I'm like, sure. I don't know if I have a good side. I mean, I see my ears. So I had my ears pin back when I was a kid.

You know, like with a bandage and everything. I was three years old. They attacked it? And they didn't finish the operation. So I have a little cabbage ear. You know, like a boxer? No, you don't. Yeah, this one, this one here.

Look at that one. Can I touch it? Yeah, but it is. Uh-huh. No. It goes through me when people touch it. I can't. Uli.

I feel like this, like my ears inside it. I want to pull it out. It's weird. You want to free it. And then this one is pretty much more normal, right? Yeah, I never noticed that. Yeah. Whoa.

Yeah. That's what, oh my God, I saw you started making your sculptures again. I did. What do you think? I'm so happy. you do it again right the thing is i can't make sculptures with nails and i love having nails so what so i have to have a time off from from i don't like people see me without nails on because the little nails nick nick the clay yeah you'll get the clay in your finger nails because you have to use a lot of

your tips of your fingers and everything to smooth it out all that sort of thing do you do press on or no no these are gel exes but um had a bit of a fight with a can of coat yesterday and this is that's happened. What are you going to do? You're going to have to go get it fixed. Do you feel crazy when one's missing? I know. My balance is off.

I just. You know what, though? Why don't you, we'll say, you don't have to force Phil to do everything, but maybe you could have him open the cans of soda. Oh yeah, I know he does do that.

But if he's not there, I'll just try and do it myself. I'll get a knife or a spoon. Oh, yeah, the knife thing. I love Diet Coke. It's girl, it's, since I've quit chain smoking. It's so good.

Why, he was, Because the Diet Coke knows that I'm here and they know. Because people, you're not supposed to drink it. It's not confirmed good for you. And I don't want to be recommending people do an unhealthy thing. As the same is great for you. I don't know. Delta works seems to be doing fine.

I know. And she has a VAT of it a day. She loved. Have you seen the video of her testing the Diet Coke's? Yes, I have. She can name where they're from. She's, but you know what? This is something I learned this trip, this trip here.

Excuse me. Um. You just fall asleep. is why. Burp and fall asleep. And that's the end of the pod. I'm not very well, you know. What do you mean?

Well, I don't really say, you know, on Monday, I nearly didn't do the show because I was pissing blood. From what? I have a really bad UTI. Like, really bad. Are you getting care here?

Yeah, I had to go to a walking center right before I got in drag to go to Mickey's. And they've given me this, I don't know whether you want to put this on, but they've given me. this tablet, it's bright yellow, and it makes your pee

like that orange, like luminous orange, is terrifying. But it's helping. Yes, it's helping. But, um, yeah. I've never had to eat. I thought it was on my period. I was like, what the fuck? I have similar pee problems, not that, but I have um, period. I have

sometimes if I have too much alcohol or caffeine, like if I do a red bull a day for like a week, my bladder's like, no, no. You see blood? I don't see blood, but my bladder, it's almost Like the inner walls of my bladder are like, girl, I'm irritated. The caffeine, the sugar, the alcohol. Like, I'm probably now going to, for a week or two, we're going to have to like binge water to get it back.

Because once it's irritated like this, I pee constantly all day. It's super irritating. So I've been going through that. Thank you for asking. No one asks. No one asked about my bloody piss anyway. I did. I wanted to know.

Okay. I saw the blood trail coming in here. Well, I was worried because I was right before. I would freak out. got in drag for Mickeys and I was like, because I was in so much pain as well, a lot of pain. So I just didn't know what I was doing. That's the first time I've been into a walking center in America. And let me tell you something.

Notice to the NHS in the UK, but everyone was so lovely. I walked in. I was shaking like this and I was, she said, she's like, oh, honey, are you okay? And I was like, oh, I'm okay. Just a little bit nervous. First time I've seen healthcare stuff as a trans woman. in America, didn't know what to expect. She's like, oh, girl, we see everything here.

She's like, really nice, really lovely. And I just, I mean, it cost me a fortune, but it was lovely. Oh, she's like, I'll be paying it off for the rest of my life. But it was incredible. I will say this. I mean, it depends where you go, obviously. But also, so many people in America don't have insurance. They're only going to walk in clinics when something really severe happens.

They don't go to a normal doctor. So maybe our urgent care is more developed here because people don't have GPs. You know, people, people don't go to the doctor unless they're falling apart here, right? Yeah, well, that's, you know what, that's pretty much the same in the UK. Yeah. I mean, I know we have free healthcare, but I think a lot of British people, we learn to sort of like, just deal with ourselves sort of thing, because the health care in the UK is so backed up. Like, you're waiting eight hours in A&E to, for, broke your leg. What?

Yeah, he's crazy in the UK. Really, really bad. And Phil, when he had his diabetic blood sugar that went all the way up, he was on the verge of a diabetic coma. He sat there for six hours in A&E and he could have just... And you were at home sleeping. Good luck, babe. I popped home for a little bit. Did you really?

Maybe a little bit. You said, I got to go open. There's a Diet Coke with my name on it. I got to go. I was like, I think I've left the stove on. He's like, you don't know how to turn on the fucking stove. Oh, no, your food's the food that almost killed him. Right?

Oh, yes, I did nearly kill him because, no, listen, hear me out. Listen. She's soft-launching killing your boyfriend, by the way. I made a chili con carne with basmassy rice. Lobster thermidor. And it was the rice. So for diabetics, I didn't know rice is really bad. Because it's like a high starch.

Because it's sugar in a way, carbohydrates is turns into sugar. Oh. And I give him a giant bowl of rice. And he was, he was like, oh, I don't feel good. And I was like, oh, you be fine. You're such a baby. Oh, shut up. But you're asking about with sculptures.

We got sidetracked. Oh, your sculptures. Well, for a while you weren't making them. And now you're back. What was it like to go, like, sculpt again? I thought I'd lost it. You did? When you don't, when you don't do, like, sculptures and drawings and stuff for so long,

I just was like, oh, I sort of felt like I'd lost my style a little bit. but I find that the sculptures I like that I make the most are the ones I completely improv on. Hence, I can never do commissions. Right. Because if I know what I'm going to do, it's shit. I don't like it. But if I have no idea what I'm going to make, I love it. You know what?

I was recently having this revelation just this year. And I'm realizing creatively, for almost my whole creative life, I would create with the product in mind, create with the finished product in mind. it would have a vision of what it is and then do it. And I've found now the way I create, I'm much more interested in going into it, not knowing what's going to happen. That's very exciting.

I feel like a lot of the time when I say like I used to do commission, I used to be caricature artist before I was a drag queen. And sometimes when people would give me what I had to draw, can you draw me at my prom as with Celine Dionne in the speech? bubble with shoes all around. I can't do that.

It's so exciting when you have no idea what you're going to create. Oh, you prefer when they sit down and you go, all right, bitch, we're coming for those teeth or whatever. Yes. Well, this is what I want. You know when I do my own little Juno show? Uh-huh. I want to draw the guests, but horribly. Do they know that this is coming? No. Okay. No. And also I want to like morph their pets into their bodies and stuff and just make a horrible like substance monster on the page. With their pets? Yes. Oh, it's going to be gorgeous.

And we can create a big mural at the back with all everyone's paintings who's been on the show. I think that's beautiful. Yeah. How big, I mean, you think you could do a set like this big or how big do you think you would want to do? This is perfect. I mean, when you finish it up here.

Yeah, if Miss Thing don't come back, we're just going to do that side purple and we'll leave. Yes. If honestly, because the audience has never seen that way, there's like a whole, this is, that side is even bigger than this side. You have quite, are they, no, they're, they're, They're a sound insulation thing.

Yeah, but they have a full, there's two desks, space. Like, honestly, of course you want all the space in the world, but you could do a lot of shit in a room, maybe in this size. I used to make my YouTube videos on my original channel, my entire, before I had Nick and everybody, I was self-tapping. The whole room I shot in was maybe this. You could give me a portal to when I'd be okay with that, honestly.

Like, I can make it work. You know, it's funny, do you ever use egg boxes on a wall for sound insulation? No, does it work? I didn't know this was a thing. Right, so I was in university and we were moving in halls and this guy comes out and he goes,

guys, if anyone has any egg boxes, can you save them for me to insulate the sound in my walls? And we were like, why? Do you record music? No, I just have a really loud vibrator. And this was our first introduction to him and everything.

This really tall, skinny guy. Egg boxes, insulating the sound of dildos. But at that point, when you're buying 10 dozen eggs, just get the fucking, you know. I know. The foam padding. Just get the foam.

So do you have any, do you have any, do you have any sculptures for sale or did they all go like that? So this is a question I get asked a lot, right? So I've not sold any in years because I'm trying to build up a little collection. Oh, I see. Because I'd love to do an exhibition. Oh, my God. You know, a little super, do you know, supermarket?

I know all the sculptures are on all, in the aisles. and stuff. Oh, girl, you could probably show them in an actual supermarket. That would be fucking cool. Yes. Like an actual supermarket. You know, have you been to Vegas

Omega Mart? I want to, so bad. It's amazing. Did you go? Yes. I went years ago. I did a whole video on YouTube. Was it fierce?

And you open the freezer and you walk in and it's like a cave. And so you go in from a you know, the supermarket sort of thing. You go into this freezer cave and then you come out the other side and it's all laser beans and it's like,

it's so good. You know what I haven't obsessed with? These people who are like, hey, we're at my house. I'm just going to show you my secret room. And it's like, have you guys seen this? Where it's like, somebody's like, I'm going to show you my secret room. And then they have like their couch, let's say. And they lift up the middle cushion.

And there's a door. And they climb down a ladder into like the basement. And it's like a disco down there. Or it's like people with secret speakeas that are genuinely like secret. Or some people have like just a reading nook. where it's like under my couch and they go like this and you climb down some stairs and it's just all fur-lined walls with neon lights where they just go like relax. One of my friends has a sensory.

If you're on the spectrum, what's the thing where you have a room with no sound, no light? Like sensory room? Sensory room, I guess, whatever. Are they like the egg coffins that you go in with water? I know somebody who has one and she's like, oh, that's my sensory room. Like, what? She's like, yeah, go in there. Go in there.

Padded walls. lay down on the ground, I was like, a bitch could get used to this. Really? Really? Get high? Oh my God. What is that? Can you see any daylight, though? No, it was dark. Oh, no, no. Oh, I don't know. No, I don't know. No. I mean, you could furnish yours however you want. Oh, right. You know. No, but I am.

Nobody's threatening you. You're okay. I'm really claustrophobic. Like, really, really, really bad. How are you doing the planes? I have to have an aisle seat. Do you drink? No. I have to go in an aisle seat. And I can't. Well, I went on a double decker on the way here.

And I panicked because I thought that on the top deck, the roof was going to be shorter. But it was actually fine. Yeah, it's pretty normal. But I have to have an I'll see. Was it KLM? I think they have the doubles. British Airways, I think. British Airways, very claustrophobic.

Really claustrophobic. Someone put me in a cardboard box when I was a kid and it's just traumatized me. If you moved here, you would literally be a British invasion, like alien invasion and you're British. Yeah. Maybe you could tell a reality program or something because maybe it would be interesting to be a British trans person moving here and there maybe be a lot of cool stuff to document. Well, maybe we could go out to the desert and we could do an area 51's kind of thing. Oh my God. You know, I've been watching a lot of alien shit.

Oh, yeah. What's your favorite alien movie? I mean Mars attacks. Does that count? That's almost like not. Well, because it's like not about aliens. The thing is we love it. Not for the aliens, we love it for the whole style of the movie.

And the performances. Glenn Close. The Nancy Reagan Chandler. Yes. It's just like, it's just like a, it just goes. Yes. I also love the old grandma. Oh, when she's like, music.

I love her. She's in Beetlejuice as well. When I, I swear to God, when I have ever in my life been on a plane, like a little drunk listening to music, I feel like her because she's listened. She's like, That's how you should sit and listen to music. When I'm calling you. Also, Jack Black in that is so good.

I know he's so young in that movie. He's so young. Everybody in that movie is so good. Danny DeVito. Oh, oh, you're Tom Jones, your time Jones. It ain't unusual. Do you like Vegas? You must like Vegas. I love Las Vegas. You know, just a cheeky cigarette on there.

I come down in the morning for my cheeky cigarette and I'll just sit there on the slots like a dirty old bitch. Oh, I love it so much. I will say that's different and cool in America, and so is New Orleans. New Orleans is like... I love New Orleans. It's very moist. I don't like the moisture of New Orleans.

It's so hot, bitch. But I do love the witchiness of New Orleans. I had a bloody Mary in an IV bag. The Vampire Cafe. That's, oh my God. My friend Vanessa, she's a DJ, we make music together. She's from Southern California. And the first time she went to New Orleans, she was like,

oh my God, it looks just like Disneyland. And they were like, no, Disneyland looks like New Orleans. She thought she was, because she's grown up in California. She was like, oh, you know, Disneyland looks like, because you know, there's a whole area of Disneyland that looks like Norlands. Oh, is there? Tiana's Bayou area. Will I ever been to Disneyland in Paris?

You've never been to the LA one? No. Girl. Should I go while I'm here? We're going. I have a guide. Okay, let's do it. I'll cover everything.

I've never been L.A. Disneyland. All expenses is paid for. Yes, we get the guy I'm holding each of that. You will be getting room and food and drinks but I bet that counts

but we get the room I get the room the night before so I can wake up you go down to the lobby the guide is there and because I get recognized they take you in the back entrance of everything

you can see the whole park in a day oh my God can we yeah we're going Oh my God yes I can't wait once a year so we're gonna have to wait until you're here

and we'll do it I'm here I'm here right now let's go you're going to Universal I'll do both girl you I can't I can't believe you're not going to ride that Fast and the Furious ride.

Oh, he's a bit... What do you go to ride? I like things that go like this or like this, but I don't like things that do this. Do you like... Tea cup and saucers, no. Do you have tea cups and sauces here? At Disneyland, yeah. I can't do them.

Do you like the drop rides? Like... I like the drop ones. Okay. I don't like anything that's repetitious movements. Like a carousel. Like a carousel? Would you write a carousel?

No. Oh, no, no. Interesting. I won't got one of them, no. You won't see me. I'm on them little horses. Mary Poppins. Smoking a cigarette blowing chunks.

Smoking a cigarette puking off to the kids. Oh, my God. Well, not like people don't know where to find you, but can you tell people where they can find you. You can find me at Juno Birch on everything. JunoBitch 8 on TikTok. Can we get her real? You know what though? No, some fucking little bastard.

I'm sorry. some little bastard is still my username on TikTok and he's not even using the account. They've done it obviously so that I go, I'll give you money. I'm just going to say that's what it is. Somebody owns at Trixie on Instagram

right? Just Trixie. At Trixie and I DM them because I changed my YouTube, my TikTok to At Trixie and I said, hey I'm Trixie. Can I have this? They haven't posted in years and they said, well, this account actually has a lot of sentimental value to me. I'll take it for 60,000

European through 60,000 British pounds. That's some fucking nerve. It's crazy. Oh my God. And the picture, the account is all like stock photos.

They clearly buy people's names or they get their names to later try to sell them back to you. That happened to my website as well. They wanted six grand off me for my Junobetch. Cuswetts.com?

I got it back without having to pay. Oh good. I don't know how it's done, but it was done somehow. Can I tell you a similar story? One time when I was younger when I first got on drag race, I went to buy Tricksymetel.com

and somebody heard. who bought it and I was like, uh, and somebody knew at the time said, I bought it for you years ago and held on to it because I knew you would need it. Oh.

Didn't even tell me. That's not funny. That's sweet. That's nice. Yeah. We should have gotten Juno Birch for you. Excuse me, you little bitch on TikTok. I know you've got my handle.

Give it back now. Or else. Or else what? I don't know. Okay. I'm just trying to be threatening in some way. Okay. She's going to get you. Thank you guys so much for Juno Burch having

here. Thank you for having me, my darling.