The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Kim Chi's Love Affair with Public Libraries with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

The dolls are joined by the prodigious patisserie of elegance and razor-sharp wit, the incomparable Kim Chi! Miss Chi who would like you know that public libraries stand as luminous beacons of civic generosity, offering complimentary tootsie rolls that taste like tiny victories of the working class as these huddled masses check out CDs to be burned into their iPod Classics, empowering each and every one of them to cultivate a personal soundtrack without groveling to the dark forces of capitalism. Some of these noble institutions even distribute book-reading gift certificates for free bagels, nourishing both mind and body in one glorious carbohydrate embrace. And thanks to their tireless preservation of microfiche, detectives of every stripe can finally uncover exactly what happened at the Des Moines Harvest Jamboree in 1987, a truth now restored to a grateful society. Let us all join Kim Chi with praise for the unsung civic treasures that are America's public libraries.  To buy Kim Chi's new book "Kim Chi Eats the World" head to: https://kimchithequeen.com/pages/cookbook This holiday season, get an exclusive $45-off Aura Frames' Carver Mat by using Promo Code BALD at https://on.auraframes.com/BALD Getting contacts doesn’t have to be a hassle! Let 1-800 Contacts get you the contact lenses you need right now! Download the free 1-800 Contacts app today or order online at https://1800Contacts.com Get your gut going and support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual’s Synbiotic+. Get early access to their Black Friday sale for 40% off your first month at https://Ritual.com/BALD Follow Kim Chi: @KimChi_Chic Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: ⁠⁠⁠https://trixieandkatya.com/#tour To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemotel.com Listen Anywhere! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast Follow Trixie: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemattel.com TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@trixie⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/trixiemattel Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/trixiemattel Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/trixiemattel   Follow Katya: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.welovekatya.com TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@katya_zamo Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/welovekatya Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/katya_zamo   #TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Airbnb. On a recent fall retreat back east amongst the stillness that only autumn can bring, I stayed at a home that was hosted on Airbnb. It was so gorgeous that I was swept away with the sweet scent of pine, the hush of golden-hued leaves, and that feeling of stepping into a mountain cabin that seems to simply breathe warmth. And at some point between the evening strolls under the starry Vermont sky and my third cup of spiced apple cider, I realized.

I could also host on Airbnb. My home could be welcoming guests while I'm away, maybe even helping to fund my upcoming summer vacation to Bali, or perhaps help fund that guest bedroom remodel I've been planning all year. So what are you waiting for? Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca.combe slash host. Welcome aboard via rail.

Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and stretch. Steep. flip or that and enjoy via rail love the way

this episode is brought to you by Airbnb on a recent fall retreat back east amongst the stillness that only autumn can bring I stayed at a home that was hosted on Airbnb

it was so gorgeous that I was swept away with the sweet scent of pine the hush of golden-hued leaves and that feeling of stepping into a mountain cabin that seems to simply breathe warmth and at some point between the evening strolls under the starry Vermont sky and my third cup of

spiced apple cider, I realized I could also host on Airbnb. My home could be welcoming guests while I'm away, maybe even helping to fund my upcoming summer vacation to Bali, or perhaps help fund that guest bedroom remodel I've been planning all year. So what are you waiting for? Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca.ca. slash host. Oh my gosh, you guys, we have, we have brand new microphones sent to us from Sineheiser. Bebabababababam. Sineheuser, and they love the gay. Signhair is actually German.

It's German for ran through. And the best part, wait, wait, wait, wait, does this work? Give you a clown note. Oh! Obviously, we have Kim Chi in the house. She is a food officiantado and critic, and now a food. book writer. Hello.

Wow. Congratulations. Welcome to the pod. Newly a double time author, Kim Chi. Wait, we got to talk about this. We got to talk about this. So Kim, not only likes to one up every drag queen in writing a book, but she's going to say, I'm going to put out two at once.

You know, the two book deals happen in two very separate times, but, you know, one thing after another and... Are they at odds with each other different sections of the bookstore? I actually don't know. all the bookstores I've been in they've been next to each other which is cool but it just happened to come out

in the same months What's the other one? The other one is a young adult novel called Donatella Machi and the Library Avengers Oh wow It's a book about saving Public Libraries

The last place the FBI can't go Yeah exactly Fierce Wow And Oh yeah So the main villain His name is

Blop the Drag Singh what is that macroaggression would you call that a direct attack and you know what the library is called what they're trying to save it's called FERCIS library Oh my God

No it's not Yes it is Oh my God And that is in commemoration of that I'm the first person My family who can read Oh my God, yeah Thank you

Yours Probably the last How long did it take you What was the process Like writing the book? Did you write it? Did you ghost write it That's what we get asked

all the time Well, we corroded it with Stefan Fahn, who is an amazing writer. I mean, listen, English is my second language here. I'm trying my best, so. But it's part graphic novel, part... Oh, fierce. Oh, I love graphic novels. And I think...

Hardcore nudity? No, there's no nudity, no, no. It's a young adult. It doesn't matter. No. There you go. But, you know, I think there's, like, a lot of themes that will resonate with a lot of people, you know, like, growing up as immigrant, you guys wouldn't know. Growing up queer, you guys would know.

You guys wouldn't know Growing up bald, you guys would know Saving public libraries, you guys might know Right I love public libraries Unironically Do you? Yes

No, they're great It's a great resource And they're the pillars of our community I'm old enough to like Remember going to there When I wanted to learn something Do you know what I want to do This happens in movies sometimes

If you're like trying to If I was trying to get like dirt on her MicroFish I go to library with that thing You turn the knob And the newspaper flips by Microfeesh. Is that what it's called? Yes. Any good, any good, like...

Any good detective. Any good gumshoe. Any gumshoe. If you want to know about the fire in 87 or whatever, the blizzard 28, you'd go to the dark room, you flip the microfiche. It's fierce. I'd also go to the library and check out a ton of music CDs. And do you remember when you would, like, burn music into, like, your iTunes?

And I just burned, like, ton of songs and that's how I got me music because I couldn't afford to buy CDs. My library at a program where, if you're a... read five books. You get like a voucher for a bagel. So I read so many books as possible just to feed myself. Oh my God. Reading to eat. That's fierce. Any time fitness is food. Yeah. Yeah. I'm nourishing myself. You know.

Planet Fitness has free tutsy rolls. You go to Planet Fitness? Yeah. They have purple and brown tutsy rolls. Well, I guess brown is chocolate. They have grape and chocolate tutsy rolls. And anytime fitness sometimes on Fridays has free pizza. I would think you're, like, too famous for Planet Fitness. You don't get mobbed at Planet Fitness. I do, but I keep going. But they have Charmed on the TV.

Okay. I didn't know they had TV at Planet Fitness. You can bring your own TV. They have all the TVs, and they have the same, let's say, six channels and it repeats. And then all of the machines have, and they have subtitles on so you can watch Charmed. That's really nice. And we lost Julie McMahon this year. I guess I'm just trying to pay tribute to.

Isn't that his name? Julian McMahon Who's in Nipto? Yeah, he's died this year, didn't he? Cole. Cole is dead. Cole. I know him as Dr. Whatever from Nip Tuck.

Well, yeah, that's also him. He died last year, I believe. Both of them. I had no idea. Oh, he died in July this year? Of what? Of what? Of death.

He died to death? Not to get randomly dark, but whenever I hear in use about, like, celebrity's passing, I feel a little envious. Like, you don't have to deal. with this, like, shithold that, like, you know, that we live in. Yeah.

Twisted metal car crash. Especially if it feels like a painless desk, you know, I'm like, oh, a little jealous. Some days I'm like, oh, my God, I feel a tightness in my, are like, I cough today. Well, it's over. Right. And then some days I'm like, wouldn't it be nice? You know, like, sometimes it's just so, but we had a wonderful, you know, Andrew Cuomo lost, which gives me hope for one more day.

Oh, baby. But also, like, part of me, like, wake up every morning. I'm like, I hope nothing happens to someone on, like, in the greatest city in the world. Especially, like, considering, like, what happened with the lawmakers, like, recently, you know? Like, oh, yeah.

I, like, I worry about, like, all the, you know, people in politics that's trying to do the right thing, you know? Because it's a four-year-old. You know, we live in. Oh, yeah. What about Deborah Messing? Twist it up. Creast it up.

She is. Demented. Demented. 150 Instagram stories in, like, two hours. I just think that's a lot. Now, I don't feel, like, bad for making fun of her scarf collection during um will and grace

no no um that one show that singing show oh my god why cannot I remember the name glee smash yeah because first season she had like a different scarf on every time she came on yeah and it was the dumbest thing ever wow love your scarves debor yeah I mean I she's ridiculous she's forever ruined because of her

no it wasn't that good in the first place you're right come on you know yeah it's like a low hang fruit the only person who's allowed to post that many stories to me is vanity When Vanity They're not about politics When you see vanity stories And the slice is as thin as a Listerine strip

You get on that treadmill I'm sad Speaking of vanity So you know There was like a video clip of you imitating like The Real Me comes out tonight Fabulous Friday

There was one day I literally just had that on repeat And I don't know It was like ASMR to me I could not stop watching it It was just like on repeat I was just like refresh Refresh Rush

I got to watch this again It's an earworm It's wrong And now again, the real me comes alive. I lost a link to that clip and I was like legit upset that I couldn't watch this anymore. It's so good. So could you do it again for this podcast so I can watch this over again? Of course.

Just the way you did it. Yes. Well, she kind of has like. That was fabulous Fridays. But do the whole thing like cheap bars. Yeah, she kind of like, well, it's Friday. The weekend. The rail may comes alive.

I really shouldn't have a drink. I wish you never drink, but, you know, it is Friday, so, you know, I worked so hard. And it's very bad. And then this is, like, also, like, a really random part of the internet that no one ever knows what I'm, like, referencing. Yeah. But in her Cheapars Tuesday video, you commented, bring back Welfare Wednesdays, you coward. Wait, wait, wait. Well, originally it was called Welfare Wednesdays.

Yeah. Well, what is, right? Well, I believe welfare has a different meaning in Australia. Yeah. It might mean fairing well. Okay. But people were trying to cancel her for, you know, like, making fun of poverty or something. She had to change the cheap arts Tuesday. Yeah.

So you commented, you bring back welfare Wednesdays, you coward. I just like to mess with her. And I quote that on a regular basis. And no one ever knows, like, what I'm quoting. And I feel like crazy for you even have to explain this whole thing. And then after I explained, if people look at me like, I, like, am on the stuff. spectrum, you know? No, no, no.

I do. If you're coming here to talk about personal rattles that you speak in your own, this is the safe space. Me and my house either saying, okay, James from Wendy Williams or Jane from the comeback. James or Jane at any given moment. Jane, absolutely not. Cut that, you know. That clip in the comeback where they have the cameras in there and there's her housekeeper's cleaning and they zoom in and they pull a porn VHS out of.

Mark's her husband's side table drawer and the camera's zooming in on it and Valerie walks it and sees them zooming on it pretends like she doesn't see it and then she picks it up and she's like okay we're human but she's like you know and she's like Mark only has one of these

okay and he's like she's like try it's like backdoor lesbians nine or something it's something so crazy I've never seen the comeback should I start watching the comeback or is it too late or did I have to be there it's not too late it's absolutely timeless It's a classic.

This episode is brought to you by Airbnb. There's something transcendent about the fall, the way the mountains seemed to hum under a golden quilt of maple and flame. I stayed at a log cabin a few weeks ago, so picture-perfect it felt like the forest itself had written me a beautiful, personalized invitation. A roaring fire, the scent of pine and cinnamon, in the slow, deliberate quiet that big city life never affords you.

And somewhere between my third cup of cider and the crackle of the fire in the hearth, it struck me. I already have a home that I could host on Airbnb. It's currently sitting empty as I wander these Amber Hills, but it could be working for me. While I'm away gallivanting with my fellow leaf peepers, my home could be someone else's slightly warmer autumn dream. And honestly, with my next trip already on the calendar,

a Christmas ski getaway to Whistler, British Columbia, it just makes sense. Picture it, snow-dusted pines, cocoa steaming in a chalet mug, laughter echoing off the slopes, and perhaps, just perhaps, a romantic spark with a charming local Canadian who knows how to make a mean snow angel. And as I toast this season under Whistler's starry sky, my home could be helping finance the guest room remodel I've been dreaming of, all the while welcoming travelers of its own. And it's not just me. All of you out there in podcast land already have a home you could host on Airbnb, too. It's straightforward, smart, and it might even be worth more than you think. After all, while you're chasing your own snowflakes

this season, your home could help you finance next year's planned vacation to Bali. So what are you waiting for? Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.combe.com Today's episode of The Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by 1-800 contacts. Oh, la, my friends, it is I, chef Catezamo, the spiritual descendant of Auguste Escofier. Listen, as I must confess something, Trisario, to you, every Thanksgiving I awaken at dawn to begin preparing my signature French dishes for the familial feast. I'm talking about my velvety pan puree, my cookie Saint-Jacques, my cassoulet that could make a grown man sob into their pumpkin-accented linen napkin.

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We got to get you a backup Kim Chi. You know, I'm sure there are. A joella exists. Oh, shut up. Oh, my God. She did Brandon's party, Slash and Royal. He said she was really fun. Oh, my God.

Amazing. Yeah. Joella, that girl from Drag Race, who was like, I feel like L.A. just expects me to always give glamour. Remember her? Wasn't that what she said, Kim? No, she's like, I am like known for my looks. I'm the slaysian diva of L.A.

The Slasian. Yeah. But I don't think she was necessarily. An Asian who slays? Is it that a slasian is an Asian who slays? I think so. Okay. You know, I can't speak to.

No, it's an Asian who kills people. Buffy the Vampire Slash. It's a term that I've never encountered until that moment, you know, so I can't really. speak to that intimate knowledge. I think we're getting carried away with these contractions or whatever. Yeah. Right. It's too much. It's too much. But anyways, back to my books.

So if you guys want to know, let's talk about it because this is a book that only somebody who's actually traveled the whole world could write. Can you tell us about it? T.S. Reci. Oh, my God, I thought I said T.S. recipes. No. 75. Kimchi eats the world. T.S. recipes fit for a drag queen. So this book is a love letter to all my favorite places that I've been to and all the

favorite things I've eaten. The whole book was conceived. Could you tell that I've been in like a press circuit saying the same thing? Well, but I want to know though. Yes, yeah. So the book got started during pandemic when I couldn't travel anymore and eat all these delicious things, you know, like the fattest than I am. So then I started making like all these global cuisine in my own American kitchen and just how the idea for the book was conceived. So every recipe comes with a beautiful picture that is like a little offbeat and quirky and there's like like a little drag twist to it. And there's a story

in why that recipes there. Cheesy bread bowl fondue in Switzerland. Yes. That's incredible. If you had to eat only one cuisine for the rest of your life, which would it be? It'll definitely be something Asian. I mean, Korean food is like my soul food.

But if it wasn't Korean food, I could eat probably Vietnamese or Thai food every day. Thai food really is lit. And LA has so many good vegetarian options. Because if you don't eat fish, sometimes, even if it's not a fish dish, to have like oyster sauce or something and it can be really overpowering.

But LA you can find like a lot of non-fish shops. Even with like picky friends or people with dietary restrictions usually like Thai food, you know? Have you ever loved to eat Thai? Oh my love to eat it's so good. It's so good.

Oh, that it's like my regular quote too. And the name tells you. Yeah. Do you love to eat Thai? And I believe the owners are like too like lesbian so what's you're supporting the queer community by supporting love to eat.

What a gorgeous photograph. When I was depressed, I got really into Faw. Oh, Faw's really good. Oh my God. And I would order from these places and I'm like, the soup would arrive so hot that I'm like, what temperature was it when they poured it in this tub at the restaurant? If it's showing up at my house, basically boiling. Because they put like the beef in their raw and then the hot broth cooks the beef.

So then by the time like it reaches the table, it's like perfectly tender. Yeah. And then the vegetables. And you cook the vegetables in and it cooks it nicely. And then after you like sauce it and all that, it's like the perfect temperature for you to consume. Well, the first time I got it, I didn't realize. how much of the soup came not in the fluid. So I was like, I thought it was too much woke or something.

I was like, you know, a little bit like how they want you to tip at the register. I was like, no, I got to cook the vegetables, but it was so fresh and lovely. This is so random, but can I say something? No. No, not on the pod. This isn't a pod. Okay, go ahead. Okay, I am, if someone could like enlighten me on this and I'm genuinely curious, so you know I'm a good tiper, I always tip 20%, I tip like coffee, even counter-service, everything.

Why is that when I go to a concert And I buy like a $70 Merch T-shirt and then I go to pay There's a tip option And I'm expected to tip like 20, 30, 40% On a concert merch My favorite is when the tip options are set At like 30, 3540

And you have to key in a 15% While they watch you. Or it was like no tip you have to say Fuck you asshole And then press no tip But like concert merch why And half the time They're not even nice, and all they did was just grab me a t-shirt or a hat.

Right. And why am I doing you like... I assumed that they would be getting paid. They do get paid. We all know they get paid. And they don't really have a relate... That person, that merchandising person doesn't necessarily have a relationship to the sales of the merchandise. No.

Right. I mean, I think they're probably allowed to keep that part. Yeah, yeah. And the, I mean, the artist gets a cut. The venue gets a cut. The manager. The producing touring agency. A lot of time, not to mention the artist that the artist hired to make the graphic.

Sure. Maybe you get to cut. Some of them do. Some of them's not a flat rate. I mean, of course, everyone should get paid. Everyone should get paid. But why am I tipping a concert merch salesman when they're not even that nice? I think American tipping culture is based on like lack of a livable wage.

Yeah. Which is a bummer. At least it's official merch, which I just got in a, I just got in a fight with a person at the B-52. Well, I ain't going to fight. I screamed. I don't want to talk. I'll talk about it. No, no, no.

I was at the B-52s and I was a little. I had two bottles of wine. feeling good. And I watched Debo and they were amazing and I was just blown away. And, you know, for me, surrounded by 60 year olds from the 80s watching these bands, I'm in heaven, right? I'm feeling good. Yeah, my arthritis is feeling good because I'm browned out. You know, I'm just feeling really good. And I'm walking out of the menu and I

see the knockoff merchandise. Yes. And I don't think people understand that you're not just stealing from Beyonce or whoever. The person who drew Beyonce's shirt, like, you're stealing from them. Do you not feel this way? Okay. Or do you feel bootleg match is good? Okay, so I have a very strong feelings about the Vulek merch. What is it? I do too.

Okay, so for example, like a lot of K-pop bands, they have merch, right? Right. But the merch, the design is extremely underwhelming. Sometimes it will just, like, have their logo on it and no pictures or anything. Because fans will buy them regardless, so they don't have to try to, like, make good designs. But then you go into the parking lot and you see some of like the most, like, well-designed, like creative design with all the members' faces on it. It's like super colorful Like impactful and like

That is actually a merch that I want to spend money on I mean granted like a lot of artists has merch That is actually really good You know like Beyonce kills it And not to mention of you Has good merched But yeah sometimes the bootleg merch is better than the actual merch That's why they need to have little agents

And managers go in the parking lot And poach those artists Well this is the thing The word bootleg to me is Okay let's say this was the exact Beyonce graphic From the concert is that artist is printing that same graphic and trying to pretend that this is an official

Beyonce shirt. Not the one type of scene. To me, if it's somebody scalping, but they're selling an original design, that's not as jailable. Like this. This is a restaurant and a person. Right.

This is a great example of somebody, if they were selling this in the parking lot, I almost feel like they should go for it. Yeah. Because it's two for one. And I'm not saying you should buy bootleg merch. I'm just saying if I see like a bootleg artist,

or bootleg salesman like trying harder than the actual artist and I'm only speaking specifically for K-pop not like Okay But they're making an original design That the artist doesn't sell And that's the difference

I'm talking about straight up copies of the official A Xerox of a shirt Then they're on a shitty Yeah And what you mean Yeah But then also like Some artists are like basically billionaires

You know And they're also making a million dollars A night at merch Yeah so I'm like Do I want to help this You know Bootleg salesman who probably leave money for their family

or do I want to support a billionaire? I don't know. I'm morally conflicted in both ways. I feel like a lot of times, let's say our bald and a beautiful graphic, we don't even have all the rights to that image. So you're stealing. So I can steal that.

But you're stealing from the photographer. So like the people used to come up and want us to sign 8 by 10s. Oh, that's a whole other thing. And I'm like, you got this printed at Kinko's. You're also, by signing this, I'm co-standing on you stealing us on the photographer. I'm more offended that they don't know who we are.

Oh, that I'm more offended that they're not actually fans. Like, once I actually learned that they're just like Upper Junis or whatever, they're scammers. I'm like, yeah. Yeah, like, I don't mind taking photos with anyone. But when people see like a lineup, like, you know, people forming around you and then they want a photo

just because they think you're someone famous, you know, that I'm like... It's not strange. That's how I feel about if I'm in drag walking to the car at the hotel, like through the lobby and you see like, a group of people and they want a picture just because they saw a cross dresser. Oh, is that a taco truck? They're just like,

a drag queen. I'm like, no. I was at a taco truck. Some girls asked for a picture and then the taco truck guy asked for a picture. He didn't know who to, no idea who I was. Love it. Did you get free taco? Were you at a taco truck and drag? No, out of drag. He's like, are you famous? I was like, not really. He's like, can I see your Instagram?

What? And then he was like, oh my God, because a million followers or whatever. And he's like, he was freaked out. But see, at least if they're like, like a friend about it, I'm fine with it. When they start playing this game, like, do I, do I know you from somewhere? Oh, they're trying to be familiar.

And I'm like, like, he drowned. Does that make sense? Does that make sense? It's like, are you someone famous? And I'm like, do you want a picture? We can take a photo, you know? Yeah, but let's cut the game, you know? Yeah, oh, no games.

Yeah. If you want a photo, I'll give you a photo. Although, how many, but the trade does that too, though. The trade is like, oh, I, they'll act like they don't know you, and then they follow you on Instagram. Oh, my God. And as they're leaving, they're like, by the way, huge fan.

That shit. Yeah. So they're all liars. They should just be honest. They should be honest. Do what our fans do. Yeah. Truxie, I hate you.

Thank you. Do what our fans do. Open your shirt. Show the breastplate size portrait of us, tattooed to the chest. And then we are like, you're verified. Start crying. Yes. You're verified.

You're in. And just to clarify, we appreciate all the love, you know, that comes our way, you know. But just be real with us, you know. Be honest with me. Yes. This is the other worst. best thing, which is if you're on the plane and people are walking by, getting on, and they go, a big fan

and you go, thank you. And maybe it happens a couple times. I don't know, I feel like being bald, you're just a beacon. People's eyes see a white bald head and they're like, what the fuck was that? You know? For you, maybe. They can, oh, thank you. But then the person next to you goes, it's a straight guy and he'll, all right,

who are you? I hate that. I hate it so much because then you have to explain why I'm or one they're like, are you someone famous? I'm like, am I supposed to, how am I supposed to answer this question? I say, I say, no. Yeah, I'm Carrie Fisher. Yeah.

Like, what am I supposed to say? I got, I got, I was, I had cancer. I went on Jenny, um, what is, uh, uh, Sally, Jesse Raphael. Well, there's this episode of wife swap where I famously screamed dark-sided gorgiles and people still know me from that. Wait, wait, wait, wait, but on the plane, I peed myself. Wait a minute. Okay, so.

Can I pivot my chair back to Kim's side and maybe you can have the floor? So this happened in the same thing you were just talking. about the guy was like one of the guys over to the my side was like um like where do you I forget what he said but it was like because the two people had gone past the aisle and were like big fan whatever and then the guy was like well are you like famous or whatever and I was like oh I get up halfway through the flight go to the bathroom and I pee and I guess I just didn't really know that I wasn't done and and you know like sometimes you should you have to obviously, this is so gross, I'm sorry, but you have to like shake or whatever and just, but I didn't.

Not the penis. Yeah, as soon as I've done peeing. I there was like sometimes you pee a little bit after. It's, you try not to. I peed all the way down my leg and on the floor. Right. So I basically pissed in, I basically for, I mean, quantity wise, I pissed myself standing up in the airplane. And I had to get down, clean up the pee on the floor.

Right. And then I had to walk back to my seat, leg drenched with piss to the point where it smelled like piss. And I know for a fact that at least three or four people in the area knew what time it was. Right. They knew that I pissed myself. that I was covered in piss Did you have What kind of pants did you have

Because if you have a cuffed jogger like this But did you have a gaucho Was it just free? They were white jeans Yellow now honey No No they were They were

She got crackhead pee It's dark brown You know what I mean One time I don't panic I took on a plane Because um A little red Because of a pee

It's a little red What was the panic pee Um so You know like When you board Business class I don't know I sound so full

you know that they give you like little like orange apple juice orange juice whatever for this flight had beet puree it was like a shot of beet puree and like a shot of like green puree along with champagne so i took like a shot of beet puree and then later when i went to pee and i forgot that i drank this like beat puree my pee was like bright red so i thought i was um peeing blood and i didn't know what to do and i'm like am i dying like what's going to happen so then in the stall i started working breeding like really heavily and I was like do I get a flight attendant and then I remembered I drank the beet puree and I'm like oh it's the beat just beat pureate really turn your piss if it's really concentrated it was like it was a really intense thread and I've never had that happen before have you ever had the hematispermia no what is that's been you jizz blood has that happened to you three times let's take a break When you're flying Emirates business class, sampling our range of vintage wines from the largest selection in the skies, you'll see that your vacation isn't really over until your flight is over. Fly Emirates, fly better.

And we're back. Yeah, she jizzed blood for a while. Around Halloween, too, right? Jizz's blood, yeah. I don't know. It was around a Halloween. Could have been. A little surprise.

Work. It doesn't hurt, though. That's the gag. I've taken too much vitamins for a while and you start peeing all the time and peeing like more bright yellow. And I had a, like, oh, I'm going to die. Seeing your P not P colored is shocking. It is, absolutely. Especially your jizz.

And you're on the plane. Why did an appendix explode on the plane once? And that was, I was in so much pain it didn't occur to me. Oh, I could die. So luckily. Were you airlifted out of the plane? No, I landed. I guess you're already lifted up in the air.

I just parachuted out. I guess because we spend so much time on airplanes, you know, like at some point, shit, it's going to hit the fan. I hope I die up there. I would love to die in an airplane. I mean every time there's like a huge like um turbulence I think to myself like well this could be the end and I have like my wheel typed out in my notes app you know yeah in case like the plane crashes and like well they're gonna find the phone somehow and you know right they're gonna go I've never been scared of incredible turbulence I get excited girl have you ever I was in peatown last weekend for spooky bear have you all ever taken Cape Air oh the puddle jumper girl Cape Fear that riggedy wheelbarrow with wings Cape scare female pilots oh I'm just kidding no we didn't No. The way there had, Mateo texted me at 8.30 in the morning and said, he was taking a, we were in Boston doing Halloween.

Mateo was flying to Peatown, but he was taking the boat. He said the boat is so turbulent that people are laying off the side of the boat puking. The fast ferry? The Vasperi? The Vasperi? The fast ferry is fierce. But the waves are so bad, he said that they were like jumping and people were puking. So I'm thinking, well, good thing we're flying.

The waves are that bad from the wind. You're also going to be in a plane. The tiniest little rickety, Wright Brothers plane. And, you know, it's all one room, right? And one of the passengers takes next to the pilot. And so you're seated and I'm right behind. Wait, excuse me? Do you not know this?

I've never taken that airline. The first left chair, like the driver in a car, is the pilot. And the other chair, the co-pilot chair, they sell that. Some guy sits there. I want to do that. Up in the air, the other day I tapped the guy and said, you're doing it really good. I'm going to grab the wheel, yank it and have us all going down. Please don't.

Should he do it? Balden the Beautiful to go. It was such mad turbulence. I was scared for the first time. Really? I grabbed the seat in front of me and started laughing out of fear. I was like, eh.

And we landed. Thank you. How would you die if you could choose today? Oh, um, something quick and painless. Samurai so. Maybe drowning in a bathtub.

That is not quick and painless. Kim, are you out of your mind? Are you quick and painless? That is like a nightmare scenario. That is, that is the height of terror. Being shot in the back of the head. No, Simri storage.

If I was like, asleep and unconscious, you know? What kind of drug could like make me like path out? Fentanyl? Never done it before, but, you know. Propothal. Propothal, yeah. The Michael Jackson drug, propothal.

Where do you even get propopal? A doctor. Do you like... I have one or one. Okay. So you don't call up a dealer and be like, can I get some propyl? No, you get extreme peptides.com. What is it? Extremepeptides.com.

By the way, I asked my doctor about that. I said, well, I have colleagues and friends who get their peptides online. And she said, the single most dangerous thing you could be doing. right now with your health would be to get peptides anywhere but a doctor. Oh, please. Doctors.

You know, I feel like a trained professional would say that, you know? Also, you know what? They're trying to secure their bag. But are you a bad bitch? Yeah, yeah. You know what, though? I don't doubt her at all, but...

Are you a bad bitch? You try to prove to people you're a bad bitch by ordering peptides online. And what bitch? Also, it did occur to me recently that just because you haven't, MD doesn't mean you are good at all.

Don't trust doctors willy-nilly or don't trust doctors just, period. You don't get a second opinion is what they say, right? Third, four. I mean, a lot of doctors are drunk, bad, stupid, negligent. I mean, you don't mean? Dugie Hauser was a kid. Thank you. What's the, what are the worst things going on in drag right now?

With the way people look I think that Kim has a very sharp and broadened awareness of all the different types of drag and skill levels What do you think is the worst thing going on? You do have a very sharp critical eye To be honest I kind of like tuned out every other drag queen For like the past year Not because like of anything

But I'm just focusing on me Honestly besides having the guess that I see her We're kind of the same For or against wet hair Wet hair If they don't know how to style it properly And then if it dries up And it gets like frizzy

You know I'm against that Do you think boobs will come back Has boobs been out I'm so out of the loop What other drugs do you do? There has been an alarming dearth Of boobs in the drag scene

Especially on a frame That could use a breast Well you know like in this economy Breast press they're probably expensive I'm not talking breast plates I'm talking panty hose filled up socks Birdseeds Mary I have I have

batting in a panty hose right with a tie for a nipple she does you felt them you looked at them I've done more than that you've jerked off to that I just I do feel like you know we need a risk of sounding

a hundred years old I do feel that kids today like an A cup is a giant jug to them you don't even mean a huge dick like a like a cock destroyer titty is like truly a band-aided like must be amputated

because it's just too much back pain I'm worried that at some point the new flat chest will become carved out tissue we will the drag queens will have concave surgery

top surgery maybe humps maybe it'll just go to the back to the back finally maybe like legs you know are optional oh

boobs down the legs boobs down the legs maybe the boobs are just gonna move what something I'm glad is gone was that pastel like fetish gear

like PVC fetish gear Oh Do you remember that wave of that? I remember like creepy yeah Like made some like really cool like Harnessy things You know like in Feminine colors

And then everyone in their mom of course started Yeah Yeah yeah I'm glad that's kind of But then you saw like every like terrible version of it Yeah I don't like when guys were harnesses Are you a horse? It doesn't speak to me

I mean I do hear gay guys say like Oh a harness was like the first time I felt like... A horse? Oh. So I guess if it's a means to feeling good. I guess so. I don't want to be a hater.

I guess it's like a subculture that we are, like, not directly in, you know? Yeah. So if you like harness, you know, props to you, Moma. Yeah. Keeping the letter industry. You know, Kim and I used to work almost exclusively at circuit parties. Now, with, okay, give us the doze and don'ts of circuit party fashion. Honestly, there's no dozer and those.

Everybody's in their speedos with... Oh, they're just naked. Naked with designer sneakers. It's interesting. It's literally. naked with designer sneakers and Are we talking With drugs?

Are we talking Dick and balls and an asshole out? No. Like a thong with no back So what is that? A cock sock. And everyone's pupils

are dilated And everybody's like Really really sweaty Well that's no problem But should we show them How they dance? It's all But do they have enough

Buffering Do they have enough? Do they have enough room? Yeah, it's that Yeah And like if Kim and I were like We just met And when we were into each other

We would dance like It's just this With just the... And everyone has sunglasses on indoors Because all their pupils are dialy. Oh, because they're bloodshy. True blood. Black eyes with red eyes.

Yeah. And then you say hi to them. They're like, where's the afters? Kim and I would do these parties. Oh, not the after. Where we would probably be in drag by 9 or 10 and we'd be there until 4.30? 4.30, yeah.

We got all on drugs? I wasn't. Okay. A huge drug addict. We were, we had a show early. Like, we would each do a number to, and then we would host like in a costume

yeah host in outfit so we do two numbers and then change into kind of rather elaborate for a local drug and we do multiple looks multiple changes through the night no people don't tip

no circuit queens didn't pay you no mind didn't they honestly genuinely that they were not there for us but we and our young minds I really thought like well obviously we're like local celebrities

you know I really felt maybe more famous then than I do now I was like Honestly yeah Well because you know like We did all this like elaborate photo shoots You know that was like to promote the parties

And everyone was shared And everyone knew us like when they came to the party You know One time oh my God Kid we have to one time Kim and I had a fucking gig the night before And we slept in face for what four hours Kim and I slept like this

Like switch other like vampires Like a pack of hot dogs Make up just like crusting over And so we wake up We put on the outfit because it was an Olympics-themed photo shoot. You did a photo shoot after... In the morning.

In the morning. The photo shoot was supposed to be at noon? It must have been a photo break. I recall time was like 10 a.m. 10. Yeah. And I don't want to say what it was, but the photographer at the time said,

he just came in and I remember him saying like, hey, I thought it was Coke, but it was like G or something. It was like... No, he said he was snorting coke, but it was ketamine. And so he was in a cave-hole. So he needs to take a nap.

So we sat there and dragged and waited for the photo shoot to start. But we're talking like... While he uncayed out. Literally like eight drag queens, like fully ready to go at noon. And a bunch of beautiful go-go boys, which at the time I will say

the go-go boys in Chicago were dropped-de-gorgeous. Oh, for sure. Dropped-de-gorgeous. Muscle, beautiful, huge go-go-boys. And we all just sit there and wait for the photo shoot to start. Outside in the sun. Mm-hmm. Outside in the sun.

Is this person still alive? Was he a same? Oh, actually. So this person died, supposedly? Well, no, no, no. So... Sorry. No, no, no.

So I asked, Allegedly. I asked my friends in Chicago, and people are saying, like, he's pretending to die to, like, escape. On the land. Second act. On the land?

I've heard all this conspiracy. Double jeopardy. Double jeopardy. He pretend to die to, like, not pay his debt or whatever, but he's actually alive somewhere. But I don't know the truth. The orphan. But at least that was the real.

This is all allegedly. Don't even Google who it is. We're not trying to blow up people. spots. It was a different time. We were both of his names. I'm just kidding. But anyway, we do these parties and we were, in my mind, the amount of work we put in looking back, we're talking two or three look changes at a circuit party where no one cared. We're talking look changes. Changing nails. Changing contact lenses. Changing. But in our head we're like hashtag up and coming. Hashtack. We're going to show the girls. Tonight's the night. We're going to show the

girls. We're going to live it. No one does it like Chicago, you guys. And at the time, I think that was kind of true. Yeah. Girl, the same time, what was happening in Boston, the opposite. What's going on in Boston?

We weren't changing nails. We weren't changing costumes. We weren't changing lives. We weren't changing anybody's opinion. We were so ugly. We're pissing ourselves. We were so ugly, not performing for circuit guys,

but for bachelets who don't give a shit. We looked, we had an opening number and a closing number. The fabric that we wore was a, for the opening was bright orange squiggle sequin on

like a heavy knit and a green squiggle sequin on a heavy knit I wore a sleeveless like a St. Patrick's Day and you could do whatever you wanted with it so I wore a shirt and a skirt in shitty black boots is that what you wanted and then the closing outfit

was a brown Paisley a brown Paisley grandmother's couch type of fabric for Lady Marmalade Diabolical My biggest guilty pleasure is watching drag queens

Put together Like their matching group looks For opening and clothing of things This would curl your hair They start the outfit the day before Oh baby People just go just wear something black But this was worse

It was like Started the day before And then it degrades Because you become lazier and lazy you're in less and less interested in the number. So by the end, you just like a bunch of fucking, I don't even know what. It was so, we looked just so ugly and so bad.

And the choreography was so abysmal. I remember that. I think I've seen you guys do it. It wasn't it like, wasn't it almost, we had like an ASL vibe of like, if you could read my mind. Wasn't that it? There was that.

I don't want to say ASL vibe. Was it pentamime drag? It was sort of, I love you. But people, to be fair, though, we really brought the house down with our box step for Bootylicious. I don't think you're ready for this jelly. I don't think you're ready for this jelly. I don't think you're ready for this jelly because your body's too bootylicious for your back. I had Kelly's part still don't know the words.

Can I say that something about there. also something about Lady Marmalade that it is a pecking order. Because some girls gonna get stuck with Maya. Uh huh. Because and we didn't have we had stereo or something. Maya's part didn't even come in at the end. So I would

I'll be Maya, I don't care because I would go smoke. You know what I mean? I would come back and wait a, uh, uh, nothing. Nothing. And also the token black black on the cast is always the Lil Kim. Right. And Lil Kim kind of had the fun part. She had the best she had the best part. Pink. But like, The Christina is horny.

And also, it was always... Drag King is always Missy Elliott. Yes. Oh my God, the Dry King is Missy Elliott, for sure. We never had Missy Elliott. And then it's always like the reveal is that it's like, whoa, oh, oh, you know, it's a big buildup. It's never the girl with the best outfit.

The reveal's not hitting. It was misery. She was like 6'5 black Panamania where it was always a fight between misery and destiny being Christina. And it was just like, you know, the booger or the troll like me gets to be pink or Maya. And I couldn't be Little Kim because of... The pink part's nice and short.

Maya's pretty short too. Yeah. It was very short because it had no... Well, I guess, yeah, the Little Kim part is a lot of words. So you would have to really know it. I mean, I know it, but I would come out. I would go blazing out like Maya and then right out the door to smoke a cigarette. And I didn't have to come back because I didn't play

that part. I think that's what Maya does at her concerts. I think she just kind of walks out and goes and smoke. I just watched a movie with Maya and she was in it. She gets killed. Was she incursed that Jesse Eisenberg would be?

Chicago? No, I think she was incursed that Jesse Eisenberg She was in Chicago. Yeah. She was in the sub-black tango.

She is. Yes, she is quite a beauty. Beautiful. Beautiful. You know what? Wait, Brandy and Monica just did a tour and I just want to say

very briefly, I really appreciate their stage wear. They did not come out in the same tired cat suit, body suit, sequin stuff like

Jennifer Lopez. God love her. But she's like Jennifer Lopez is doing this like Beyonce outfit with this like hip hop choreo that just doesn't make any sense but like Brandy and Monica have these fabulous like

fucking long latex trenches and they're like I don't know if it's fierce Speaking of Brandy Monica Queen's doing a duet with the boy's mind is also my favorite because everybody thinks they know the words but no one actually knows the words I do

well you are just so fucking special I never have known that song Me and my black friend used to do that song. I never knew that song. And so when girls are like, do you want to just do the boys mine? I'm like, I don't know it. I think when we went on a tour once, you were like, let's do the boys. And I was like, I don't know it.

It's fierce. I don't even know many duets or a girl, I did Dancing Queen with you and you. We still don't know that one. I do know it. Oh, no, no, no. Waterloo, yeah. No, we do know that. We do know it.

We're incredible at it. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, we're amazing. We're amazing. Kim and I also, one time, girl, Kim, jogged my memory. We were working someplace in Iowa called What was that gig in Iowa? We also did a Halloween duet number together

Lickety Splits. Oh, we did the Buley Brothers. Yeah. But I don't know what song we did. We did Dancing Queen. Reheating the nachos. For sure. We're eating the nachos.

Girl. We did the Dating Queen dresses of the Bully Brothers. Because they are like, drag you like. I know. It's like, girls want to be her. And we come out like. in shitty. They're like black, not even real, like faux PBC.

Oh my God. That's fine. Kim and I, we did a show in Iowa where they suckered you and I into like. Oh my God, do you have a group number? Yeah, at the end. At the end, you guys are going to be in the group number. This girl was it? You was.

You was, yeah. And they were like, so she's going to do like a share mix at the end, I think. Share. And you guys are going to come and you're just going to walk out and like two step. And then you're going to turn around and face the wall and put your hands on the wall and shake your butt. And Kim and I were like. what is the song? Yeah.

What does the stage look like? What is the blocking? Yeah. And it was so hot in there that it was dripping condensation from the ceiling and Kim and I are completely

it looked like if you took each of us and dipped us in like glycerin. And lacquer you'd use for the porch. We're just wet. I remember this thing of Lily, we were both holding onto the wall,

shaking our blood and tricksy off me and goes, Kim, what is happening with nose? She's like, I don't know. She's like, I don't know.

We're just doing this. I just, I'm not in a place where I will ever be, like, will you just come on for the group? No, I can't. No, no. Unless there's a rehearsal for the group. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think we should do the group thing.

But something about drag queens is like, hey, we're just going to. Although Lady Marmalade is, I think, the great equalizer of like, everyone in this room might know one or two of these verses. Yeah, there's also no choreo. Which is why it's not good. Well, we all know the verses. No, but it's a showcase. But eventually we're all out there together. Yeah, going.

It's corny. It's very, very played out. It's corny. What is the ultimate drag opening and closing for your drag show to the stars? Oh, opening and closing. So you're performing for Beyonce, for Brandy, for... I don't know if that it'll realistically ever happen. No, I think there are better candidates to...

No, no, no, but it is happening. It's happening, and you have to choose the program right now. We're working it out. Bootylicious, obviously. What would be your... Like, if you had four or five girls in a show, what's your opening and closing number? Oh, my God. Not Lady Marmalade

You know You think it's gonna hit But it never actually hits the way Like Maybe bang bang? I don't like that too I hate that too Yeah

You know what if you just come up with something really random Like What is that? All I want for Christmas is you That's a great group number Even better if it's summertime Yeah What about islands in the stream

Somebody has to be Kenny Loggers What about Wilson Phillips, hold on That's a great You could do that That's three right Boy is at bottom Shout out to that

That's a good drag queen group number But also like At the drag queen Performing another drag queen's like So greatest love of all Nope Spice girls We are the world

Wanna be Wanna be Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Okay well we don't have to

It's okay We don't have to do it Did you watch The Victoria Beckham documentary No I didn't know She had a documentary Well, yeah, David Beckham had a great one on Netflix,

and now Victoria had one, highly recommended. I love those fuckers. Love those fuckers. Great. People give her a lot. Did you ever watch the Jennifer Lopez documentary? This is me, dot, dot, dot now? Yeah.

I don't think that's a documentary. Oh, there's a documentary about the movie. Movie. Yeah. No. I'm waiting for it. She's like looking for a dancer, and she's like, just call Derek.

They name all these, like, celebrities, and they're like, they're not available, they're not available. And she's like, call it, like, Derek Hugh. And they're like, he's in a wedding. And then she, like, mix his face. Oh, that's right. But it was, like, his wedding that he was getting married, that she expected him to, like, drop his own wedding and come film or movie. I honestly, I con. Yeah.

Her team reached out to me to have me delete an Instagram post that I posted I was performing with her. Really? Yeah, about 10 years ago. Oh, my God. You said you were doing a show with her? Yeah, like, 2017. I was like, I was so excited to be. It's a joke.

I was like so excited to be. performing with J-Lo tonight my dream come true hours later David's like Jennifer Lopez's team reached out could you please delete that poster I was like well I think I think at that point it would have been clearly a joke don't you think no shit I don't know

that she's exactly I mean there's reason why I don't post that because it could happen but you I think everyone would know that that would never happen to you I think it would be okay you know it's such a fiction it's a farce hey girls I'm gonna be back I'm gonna be back at Jacques tonight people would believe that So what is your take on random, like, pop stars, randomly using, like, drag queens as an accessory at their, like, concerts or music videos?

I'm sure you get those offers like, hey, so-and-so is, like, doing a tour, and they're going to bring out a drag queen. It's not paid, but... Or what about them mopping their whole stick or, like, their catchphrase and... Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do you want to say any names? We can blur it out. Am I the drama?

Yeah. We can blur out our mouths, but we will not cut the audio. Does that help? Does that help? Blurn my face. Blur my face. Tone my voice down like unsolved the histories. Well, what we were saying was

Cardi B. You know. Oh my God. Cardi B is responsible for my favorite music artist, almost quitting music. See, I love, sorry, I, music-wise, I don't know, really, not a fan,

but of her personality, her, I feel like she's so funny. She's so charming. She's so hysterical. And also not that Nikki Minaj has gone like full MAGA. I feel like we need all the good ones we can get, you know? Oh shit. If she can say, oh, all she wants.

Yes. But you know what, though? It's not just we need the good ones. I think we need the good ones might also make you think like, we need to reach across the aisle. When I hear any of these fucking cunts saying anything like, well, there's good and bad on both sides. I can. No, there's there's bad and then there's horrible shit. That's what I'm saying.

To me, anything like I can see both sides. or the system's broken, just say you wear a red hat in your room at home when you're alone. Yeah. Just say you hate trans people. Just say you hate trans people. It's just too late. It's too late. Well, I guess I feel whenever I get, I don't ask, I don't get asked very often to do those group things for celebrities, but I always say no because I just feel like they'll tell you like, well, so-and-so really wants to feature you in a video and you have to ask like how many other drag queens are going to be there. Am I one of 35 drag queens that are replaced, they're replacing? because I don't feel like it.

And there's often no pay. I can think of a lot of big artists who've offered me to do that shit for free. It's such a great publicity, though. I'm just kidding. One time was like, we went you to videos. One time, um, blur that out or subtitle it. This poster asked me to be in their music video for $250. Work.

Transportation not included. Your costume and makeup cost more than that. Yeah. It would have one was better if they just said like, oh, we don't have enough money for budget or something, you know? Yeah. We're broke. We're desperate. We owe the IRS, but we love you so.

So you want to throw $250 my way and then, like, what? Have me in a stop for how many hours and feel like you're like, girl? Yeah. I will say the reason why you're so qualified to write this stunning food book is because you love food, you love cooking, and you've traveled the world. I really recently think that we need to put our heads together and put together some kind of declaration of independence on we the people if you want to book a drag queen. Like a flow chart.

Oh. I'm like, you want to book a drag queen. Yeah. So, you're going to need money. You're going to need a dressing room. You need to unfollow Deborah Messing. You need air conditioning in that dressing room. You need a mirror.

You need to make sure that if there are the direction in that dressing room, that they're not going to steal from you. Yeah. Look at the car to the venue. It can't be a compact car. Misting on the floor. No, recently I do Sprinter bands.

I'm never looking back. Sprinter. One time, I showed up at a gig to perform, and they took me to a dangerous closet with broken glass on the floor. Oh, yeah. And I was like, there's broken glass on the floor. and then they got like a tarp and put it over the broken glass and they put sawdust over it and that was my dressing room

and I'm like well that was jocks so oh my god loose rugs when I used to work at hydrate the basement which our dressing was was maybe four and a half feet you can't stand up and Kim's already pushed in 17 yeah yeah yeah and Kim in drag and she used to wear all these big elaborate head art

we'd be prone in the dressing room we'd be like at Barry's boot camp crawling on the ground. And that's much the floor is dirty so if your knee touches the ground you're tight as

your tight are dirty sepsis yeah I have to think more about that because every time I fucking complain on one of our

incredibly cushy luxurious wonderful gigs I'm like I used to make $50 performing to no one on a loose rug

filled with like baggets and you're the happiest that you ever were but take me back but you also weren't earning anyone much money and now you are So it's okay to say, I hope the money I earn you,

I hope some of it gets used to do the things you said you were going to do when you booked me. Wait, what? It's okay for you to say when you booked me, you said that you would provide adequate lighting. No, totally, totally. But when I get those things, so you're not doing it now. No, no, no, no. I'm saying that when I do get all those things, I still complain. Oh, yeah, she's a special case.

Yeah, it's like, it's a special case. It's 65. I want it's 64. You know what I mean? Like, that kind of thing. Speaking of complaint, you know what's crazy too? Because, like, at least from my experience, we're, like, working with, like, a lot of new queens. A lot of these queens who's never had, like, a real job, you know, like, they become old and not become old, but they become, like, of age.

And then they go, like, straight to drag race. And then, you know, like, they go, like, straight to, like, working these places. And they, like, have no, like, they don't know how to act. They've never worked. Yeah, that is true. And they pull some of the craziest shit that I've seen anyone pull, like, ex. And I'm like, I cannot believe, like, you. we'll subtitle it don't worry

is there anything general enough that the person won't know who it is give us for instance no no no I don't want to start any drama no no no just give it the hypothetical but you know it's you know there's extremely unprofessional they're like incredibly rude now when you mean a professional of like time

or you know they have like no respect for anybody else there was like for my time you know it was like a bad thing if you like didn't do the meeting grade because you didn't care like have the queens now they just don't show up to meet in grace because they don't feel like what? You know what else was Conti this was like back in the day of early drag race, maybe like the 2015-16s.

Remember like a mix and mingle? It was like a group meet and greet. There would always be one or two people who would only show up for the last five minutes of it. Well, to be fair, a lot of those people who didn't have a line. No, they did. Oh, really? Yeah, and time blind is like a real thing. Also, group shows are very,

time is very important. I mean, but even like my friends in my day-to-day life, I have friends that I like love hanging out with and, you know, like, they're amazing. But, like, they'll just not show up on time. And so then I have to And I feel like then now I'm like I know they're going to be late

So then I start showing up late Because I know they're going to be late But then I'm like Am I being trained to be late by these people Like Then why don't you just say like Okay so eight We're saying eight but do we really mean nine

Like what you know what I mean? Yeah Why is I don't know I understand why time is such a hard thing For many people Because like we are always on time Yeah I mean part of why we work together

Is because we always on time Yeah 90% of the time If I'm not I'm on time Because I feel that if you're not, it's directly disrespectful. Yeah. Sometimes she's on time. Sometimes she's on something else.

Yeah. And they're all like, oh, you know, like, time blindness. You know what, it's not a crooked trade, you know? Like, it's fucking annoying. That's like, what if, what's her, who is it? Madonna was just talking about that. She's like, you don't know. Like, it's hard to be on time.

I have like my spiritual life to take care of. My spiritual life. You know, there's like thousands of people waiting on you. On a Monday night. Yeah. On a Monday night. Yeah. And that's the thing to the fans.

And also the respect to other drag queens. I mean, I just don't think in drag Like the truth is Especially when you're on a tour If one day you're cutting it close You just start earlier the next day Also, we're putting on the same wig and outfit Every night on a tour

That's all you're doing That's all you're doing Pretty much And if you're cutting close one I mean I will feel like in the middle of a tour I will get my process down to 90 minutes Because I know the outfit I know the wig

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I don't know I'm doing the same makeup every night I just feel like if you're late today Tomorrow start earlier But that type of person They'll never start earlier If anything, they get met at you for being met at them for being late. And also, like, the attitude is like, well, you know I'm late.

It's like, well, I also know you're an asshole. Like, I don't know. I guess you just, I don't know. Punctuality. I always grew up thinking late, on time was late. Yeah. Like, it was always half an hour early rather than five minutes late. But also, it is so easy to figure out your day, no matter how busy you are.

Like, just start your day a few minutes early. Also, these people have a fucking assistance and assistance assistance. You know what I mean? We're on like L.A. time where I also think I think L.A. is pretty lax with start times in general, don't you think? Because everyone was like, oh, sorry, I'm stuck into traffic.

I was at home, dye my hair blue and smoking weed with my lesbian girlfriend. You know, L.A. woke. What's that? It's like, oh, you know, the traffic is so crazy. It's like, you came from Rio to Rio? I had to buy my $18 coffee. Unless you're brand new in L.A.,

you do know that some things at this time of day is twice as long. And when you do, I feel like if you live in LA long enough, you just don't agree to do, like, you say like, oh, you want to do this, I can't get there in time. Or you know what I mean? There's like traffic, you know what I mean? You just kind of like, you plan and you anticipate. You're like, that's not possible. You know what I mean?

Rather than, yeah, I'll be there in 10 minutes, 45 minutes later. It's too spread out. Yeah. The real life hack, though, because I have a hard time sitting in the car and drag. The new life hack is if you can get them to get you, they're one of those party buses. housewife party buses. With the poles? Either or.

But, you know, the thing where it's a bench that's like you shaped, that's what I got to and from Chaparone. And you can sit in a corset completely upright, like comfortably. Versus when you're in a car and drag, like, I don't know. What about a hers? Yeah, lay me down. Or right on top of the car like Priscilla.

Yeah. Speaking with you, it was a really good thing you at Chaparone. You're amazing. Oh, thank you. Which is open for, what, 60,000 people? yeah it was I was on at like 610 so I honestly didn't think any of my friends would she texted me she was coming and I was like do let just come out no stroke um she she was like I'll see you tonight and I was I knew I was on at 610 so I was like I don't think anybody will

see me but thanks for inviting no people like showed up at 4 o'clock yeah it's like a music festival yeah honestly it's like smart and I've never seen a music festival where water was three dollars and what the staff was also going on passing on like free water to everyone so people like don't pass out from it. Stuff was like reasonably priced. It was like a great experience. Honestly, Chaparron, like props to your mama. If you could have seen the dressing room they had for me,

the luxury yurt with private air conditioning, multiple couches, a huge desk to get ready and a mirror lit mirror. Wow. Treating the drag queen's good. She started on time? Yes. So to Beyonce, 801, I love start on time.

I got, everyone should start on time. I got hot, hard and I came. 802. she was on there. I was like, when Cobbett Carter started on the dot, pretty much,

I was like, this is something. Could not believe it. Let me tell you, I do not enjoy sitting around waiting. I don't either. And we had buffet.

Yeah. Like we had food. I was like, I have getting antsy. What's your ideal, like start time for a drag show? Oh, right on the dot.

And I know promoters always try to delay as much as possible to get more people in the door, like alcohol sales. And I'm like, audience doesn't like that. And it's going to turn off

more people from coming to your show because they're like, oh, they're not going to start to 11. I'm not going to do that. If I know a show starting on time, I will always show up so I can watch a show and leave.

Yeah. 8 o'clock, 815, that's it. For DJing, they always put me like late or last because they they're afraid people will leave. They tell me that. But then I'm like, well, then they're so sick of, they're tired and too drunk

or they've danced already for like an hour. So then you inherit like a very tired audience. And they're just looking at you. They're like wiped out. And they don't want to leave because they paid money. So I don't know. I don't think we should.

trap people in venues. I agree. I'm going to start the shows in time. You know what? And it'll train people to show up to your thing early. They're like, oh, the show starts at 10 o'clock, so we've got to be there at 10, you know? Yeah. Stop delaying it. I had to do, I did a little Halloween wiggle in Minneapolis, and I was like, I hosted the first half, and then there was a little break, and then it was the last performer to go, and I was like, I'd rather go first. Are you kidding me?

I'd rather do three numbers back to back, right at the beginning. Oh, I love going first. When you do Work the World, do you do, like, earlier in the show? Oh, talk about Work the World. That show looks so fun. Does that run on time? Oh, Work the World runs in time now. Kim killed some people.

No, no, just back in the day, like, there were some monsters, like, where the shows would be delayed by, like, hour or two because of these monsters. But now... Subtitled that. They run a tight ship now, for the most part. Did you love that? I mean, just, I haven't seen... I've never seen in live, the clips I've watched. It does look so fun.

Yeah, I think this past concept was fun, you know, but Yeah, ensemble tours, I think, um... It's tough. A lot of personalities. In some ways, it's fun. When I was on the ensemble tours, it was nice because you could almost, um, jump around with your dressing room mate. I remember sharing rooms and skipping around.

It's great if you feel like the girls you tour with. Yeah. Yeah. I can't do it. Jinks is, I love her so much, but I can't be in the same room with her because she's definitely singing in your years. Well, I remember like the first time I did a tour where I got to, Like, oh, my first time I get to share dressing with Farah, I have that moment of me and her getting to get ready.

And you really bond when you get ready with people. Do you have your own dressing room? Depends on the venue, you know. Some venues have like more things. Some venues don't. Who's your go-to sharing dressing room, Diva? Um, this past tour, honestly, no one. I mean, I like all the girls on tour, but I want to be naked in my room.

I want to play my music. I don't want, you know, like, my music to, like, worry about, like, I don't like the music I'm playing, you know? And I like to watch, when I'm on tour, I like to watch TV shows. In the dark? No, I like to put a TV show on and watch, like, an episode a day when you get ready. She gets ready with the compact in the complete dark. I love quiet and dark dressing rooms. Yeah, that's absolutely valid.

At least dim. I like super bright, very loud and all the music. Yeah, it's, I know it's not. No, I like, I like super bright, too. Yeah, I like, and I like K-pop blasting in, like a four years. I realize my music sounds like nails on a chalkboard to everybody else. No, I actually like it. And I, for me, I like the JBL to turn it on, like, when I'm putting on my body.

When it's time to, like, get in character in a way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The music will help me get to the... And when we're on tour and we're filling nothing inside, sometimes I'd have to take that JBL. I'd pump it up and use it to walk to the stage. Yeah, sometimes I'll walk to the stage. Just like getting you into groove, you know? You got to improve your...

So, I don't know. Sometimes the music helps. Do you have a good pump-up song? If you had to listen to only one song For the rest of your life While getting in drag Only one song Oh my god

That is a very deep question Um The Carpenter's Superstar Love! I probably do car wash Okay Five minutes Yeah

Rose Royce Rose Royce always gets It's a great track It's got a great flow Yeah What about you? I mean probably something Abba Yeah

Abba's just timeless It eats Like what Not Mama don't make me put on a dress Fernando? No, I love, I really love, I really love, I really love take a chance on me. Yeah. Speaking of, Mom, don't know when you put on a dress again, one day I talk about this, some gig that we did to this day, where it was Pride with Trixie. Oh, where was it? We filmed it at the precinct, featuring Trixie and her friends.

Yes, there was no air conditioning. There was no air conditioning. And at one point, they had us hold these really heavy mannequins. And they had us dance with the mannequins in this, like, sweaty rooms while Tricky singing Malibu over and over again. And Monagia and I were sweating so bad. And these mannequins were getting so heavy to the point. It was like hard to hold them up. And we were looking at each other, like, just listening to Malibu.

Uh-huh. And now, like, whenever I come across Malibu, it automatically, like, triggers me. Malibu, yeah. It's a lovely song. I wouldn't sentence any of my. friends to a hot room hearing me singing on repeat. I think that's kind of aggressive. But also it was also

right during COVID. So that was why it was like we were doing a Pride special at Precinct. I remember you talking about this. It was like the night it was like 400 degrees. It was for YouTube I believe. And then I did a YouTube Pride special with Juno Birch and there was also an air conditioning.

So. You know why have air conditioning? It's overrated. Yeah. Especially in L.A. Oh my God. I just did the Bullets Halloween thing two weeks ago last week. How was it? What did you do? I DJ for 45 minutes. Love it.

That outfit you wore was fabulous. That ghost shit. The beautiful. Thank you. Oh, it goes. Yeah. And I was leaving the venue and the person came up and said, I just wanted to meet you. I run the venue and I said, oh, what happened to the air conditioning?

And it was like 1 a.m. In the alley. And he ended, he goes, oh, we had one of our things went out. And I said, oh, bummer, six year in a row. Have a great night. Like, I don't care anymore. You don't have air conditioning and you keep lying about it. I won't be seeing you again.

Who's going to be exposed tonight? It's just too hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not enjoyable. It's too hot. Nobody benefits. I'm seeing drips off my face hit the equipment. I'm like, what are we doing?

Have you tried losing some weight fatty? Wait, I'll never forget before I get this. Give me that book. Wacker with the book, please. If I don't want to lose any weight, I surely will be cooking every single recipe in your book. Where can people get it? Yeah. Available, any cool place that sells books.

Books.com. Anywhere that sells books. But also, you can go to my Instagram, link, and bio for all the various places where you can participate from. Congratulations, author. Thank you. Along with Kim's Chick-Beauty. Oh, by the way, I just got your, thank you for the PR style. Oh, of course.

Yeah. Are you guys in CBS now? Oh, we're in CVS. We're at JCPenny. We're also on Ulta.com. Oh, yeah. Altas' new. Also.com.

Well, Kim's products, I love your products. Your products are cunty. The blushes, the hailed blasers. The fucking the concealers I use. Ugh. The drag queens turn out for those concealers. They are amazing. I love using them as eye to shadow bases.

They're gorgeous. Also, the brush applicator. Yes. Like speed of just like, yes. You did squeasy. And then do, ooh. I love your products too.

Kim knows everything about makeup and everything about food. So this is a wonderful gift item for anybody in your life who likes drag. likes to eat food. You've always been a foodie, but have you always been able to cook? Oh, yeah. Have you ever tried eating your makeup? Never cooked for me. Not yet, but we have just released some lip glosses that are like scented and flavored, so.

Love that. I'm going to make some of this shit. I love your makeup. You're not going to make it. Yes, I am. I love cooking. Do you cook? Yes.

Since when? Oh, started during COVID. I learned using Green Chef. Oh. So it's over for you, ho. Oh, my God. Can I have that? Yeah.

This book? Yeah. They never sent me. Oh, this is my copy. They never said it was supposed to go to me. Oh. I can buy one. I'll buy one.

You're rich. Thank you, fat fuck. Congratulations on your double book. Your double book release. Kim, that's... This episode is brought to you by Airbnb. On a recent fall retreat back east amongst the stillness that only autumn can bring, I stayed at a home that was hosted on Airbnb.

It was so gorgeous that I was swept away with the sweet scent of pine, the hush of golden-hued leaves, and that feeling of stepping into a mountain cabin that seems to simply breathe warmth. And at some point between the evening strolls under the starry Vermont sky and my third cup of spiced apple cider, I realized I could also host on Airbnb. My home could be welcoming guests while I'm away, maybe even helping to fund my upcoming summer vacation to Bali, or perhaps help fund that guest bedroom remodel I've been planning all year. So what are you waiting for? Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.com.ca

Thank you.