The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Live at Just For Laughs Toronto with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

Grab a piping hot mug of Tim Hortons, turn on the NHL, hide your Royal Canadian Mounted Police porn VHS, pour a shot of pure Canadian maple syrup, and bury your fat face in a pile of steaming poutine. The dolls have invaded the great white north for a live show at the Just For Laughs Festival in beautiful Toronto. Join us as we both marvel at their universal healthcare and mock them for their smorgasbord of crazy accents. A special thank you to Duncan and all the staff & crew at Just For Laughs Toronto and the beautiful Meridian Hall! Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. Here we go. We're ready to begin. Just for Laughs is proud to present the bold and the beautiful podcast live. Please give a warm welcome to your hosts, Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova. Oh, my God. Day drag.

Day drag. Ooh, is this lighting? To be honest, is this overhead lighting? I think it is. I'm a little concerned about the harshness of this lighting. I think I look like a sedimentary rock being lit by a Bunsen burner in a seventh grade science class. How about that?

Welcome, everybody. Thanks for coming on down to Meridian Hall. Yeah. How many of you were at the show the other night here? Yes! But you know it's a big event for the dolls because they've come dressed in their black sequin.

Yeah. We are in mourning. Well, the queen. The queen. Priyanka has died. Priyanka is dead. Canada's finest has perished. But, you know, it's a huge deal for,

not only for royalists and people who are sympathetic to the royal family, but for people who love coffin tours. And so I'll elaborate on that for a moment. So basically, I've been a little bit obsessed with the viewing of the coffin, the Queen's coffin, of course, Queen Elizabeth II. Is it open? It's not open.

Okay. It's not open. That's gripe number one I have with the royal family. I don't know if you know anything about Vladimir Lenin, but that motherfucker has had an open casket the last hundred years. that motherfucker has had an open casket the last hundred years. And Russia has, they have really revolutionized, no pun intended,

the embalming process that keeps that dead motherfucker and perky and lovely. And so... High, tight tits. Yeah. Huge jug. Little soft balls this close the chin yeah and so you can go you wiggle on over to red square and view lenin's dead body open casket and yet the queen not even a week dead

closed casket the casket doesn't move at all And so you just have to line up in queue forever. So I was thinking maybe a coffin tour. You know, if it's pulled by like a speedboat along the Mediterranean. And like, if you know, like maybe it's like a yearly thing. If you know, you know.

And if you don't know, you don't know. But't but like i imagine i imagine like the coffin is gonna like i mean it's towed like by like monster trucks or like lamborghinis or something and it's like 400 miles an hour down the street down these little village streets and like you could have your you could like lean your wet hair out of the window and when the coffin comes it's dry do you know what i mean because it's going fast yeah it's going real fast there i think there's like a town crier yes who's in the front of it on a unicycle who comes, it's dry. Do you know what I mean? Because it's going fast. Yeah, it's going real fast. I think there's like a town crier. Yes.

Who's in the front of it on a unicycle. It's not these words, but it's the cadence of, I killed Sirius Black. It's that. Yeah. Queen's coffin coming through. Coming through. But I realized in the, you know, tragedy a lot of times does bear happy fruit.

You know, sometimes things come of bad things, you know, good things happen. So I realized that if I make enough money to buy a boat, it's going to be called the Queen's Coffin. But it's Queen apostrophe S-C-O-U-G-H-I-N apostrophe. Right? Which kind of describes her before the death Yeah, yeah, yeah

You know And me now Yeah Welcome to the podcast, everybody Listen You came And you knew we were going to launch Right into either death or air conditioning

I say why not both You know, if I die, which could happen Yeah, absolutely. Have you ever seen, okay, in True Blood, there's this part where Pam has like, she's getting her like injections

to like grow her skin back when she has that curse on her. Yes, yes. And it's like a, a like Tiffany, like Jeffree Star presents pink tufted, like beautiful little bed.

But I'm not going to look good because it's, you know, I'm going to be an old man. I think I'm going to live a while. You think so? I had a lot of sun damage. I went to one of those dermatologists where they take a photo, whatever picture of your skin to show you what spots are coming down the pipe. Oh, wow. And I said, well, what can we do about that? And they said, well, a lot of this,

you know, the sun damage is done when you're a kid. I said, then why are we here? Yeah. Why are we bringing it up? Why are we reading? Also reading can i just read you from wait did you say coming down the pipe coming down the pipe the pipe do you know what that means i mean like i got a few things coming on the pipe it doesn't mean poop no no i isn't it wait it's not it's not about drugs i know did you say pipe i I thought it was... The only part of this she heard. I thought it was the pike. It is?

Thank you. Are you serious? And who the fuck are you, bitch? And how do you know, bitch? Who said it? Who fucking said it? You said it, he said it. He's saying you said it.

Is it the pike? Yes, it's always been the pike. Like the mass pike is the highway that goes through. No, you sit back down. This isn't about you. It's the pike. Yes. Coming down the pike.

What the fuck? I have a college education. What the fuck? Drag queens, we are so stupid. So stupid. Sorry, guys. But also so belligerently stupid. Yeah, aggressively stupid.

Aggressively stupid. And then aggressively defensive. Yeah, it's the pike. What is a pike? Well, the pike is like a highway. No, it's not. Is it really? It's the mass pike.

The mass pike in Boston. Isn't it a river? No. I don't know. Listen. Well, even if it was a river, it would still make sense. Pipe Pike in Boston. Isn't it a river? No. I don't know. Listen. Well, even if it was a river, it would still make sense. Pike. Pike. I have said that so long, so confidently in front of so many fucking people.

And no one's ever said anything except this guy. You are the truth teller I could have used so many times in my life. Thank you for being a whistleblower. We really appreciate it. Thank you. Will you come on tour? We really appreciate it. Thank you. Will you come on tour with us and spell check our life?

Yeah. Well, actually, it's Pike. Yeah, I do have to apologize. My dress is awfully short tonight. Are there any children here? We were at a comedy show last night and oh my God, was there a funny moment. Yes. We were at a comedy show last night and oh my God, was there a funny moment. Yes.

We were at a comedy show and there was a funny moment. You would have never believed it. I'm not a fan of comedy. Like, sorry, sorry, JFL, whatever. But like, I... As one of our, as the writer of our stage show so succinctly pointed out

comedy is just not funny the two things ironically the two things we shit on the most are comedy and drag girl we'll be backstage

and we'll come into each other's dressing rooms in like I don't know one lash and half a lip and I'll be like girl drag is tired

yeah I was like girl comedy is so corny. Corny, tired, and played out, and cheesy. Yeah, and rotten. So anyways, so they had a, there was a moment where Christian Schaal needed to get, I think, Canadian citizenship or something, so they were doing a live dating thing

where the two contestants come up from the crowd, and in a competition dating scenario, and one, the winner she would marry and the winner turned out to be 17 years old. 17 years old and I mean I don't know what's wrong with me. I couldn't see that at all. I couldn't see that at all. Ironically there's probably a lot of 17 yearold girls here who would marry you.

See, she's standing up. Thank you. We'll see you in a year. Now, what is the age of consent here in Canada? What's the age of consent in Canada? 16? Well, what was the problem? I guess who cares? What happened?

What was the problem? I guess what is... Maybe they didn't know. What was the problem? So can you legally... Wait, can you get married at 16? No. Okay, that's the problem.

Okay. Because she was looking for a husband, not somebody to fuck. That was the bit. Oh. It was a great program. It was Alex Adelman was in the show, Otsko. It was Puddles the Clown came out at the end. It was like, whoa, like the MDMA hit or something.

And the clown walked on stage I was like but you know though I talked to him after the show wasn't as much a conversation because Puddles doesn't talk even off stage oh so what I learned about myself is if someone doesn't talk back to me I get very uncomfortable okay so you're Puddles which you know is pretty easy okay and I'm looking at his very very big feet and I I go, so like, Oh, I have very big feet too. Look. And I put my foot next to him. He's like, I was like, it must be hard to find shoes. I know for me, I'm a women's 14. So it's really tough. And he's just like, and I was like, do you want some wine? I think they have Italian soda. And he was like, and then I just started to

feel like, I don't know, like an ignored bird or something. I was just like, am I real? Wait, is that part of his shtick? That he doesn't talk. Oh, really? Yeah, he doesn't talk. Oh, wow, that's very strange. And his partner was there,

this beautiful woman. I was talking to her and she was like, he doesn't want it. I was like, how do you know what he wants? I guess that's the connection. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think it's like, if you have a clown in your life, it's like having a companion animal or something. You just know. You just know. You just know. Oh, I went to Cirque du Soleil. When?

Oh, I didn't tell you. But let me tell you now. New information? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. This is wild. Yeah, yeah. I went to Cirque du Soleil in Ottawa, your country's fine capital city.

Five people. Okay, great. Very bitter about not being the capital. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ottawa's kind of Flaptina to be honest. It's a little bit Flaptina. But most... Many

capital cities are Brasilia flop, Canberra flop. A lot of these like municipal like bureaucratic cities are just not very well, they're just not very fun. But anyways, I went to Cirque du Soleil and I almost had, almost my desire to be a contortionist

reignited, but then butted heads real quick with the reality of my 40 year old body. Oh baby! Oh shit! Drink this! Wait, did you get so moved that you started to, in. Oh, shit. Drink this. Wait, did you get so moved that you started to, in your seat, ride or something?

You did, didn't you? I sure did. You started to test your limits. I sure did. I know you did. I was like, it was me and Eden, and I was like, I was like, okay, the contortionist act is, I've seen the show three times, ten years ago, and I was sitting down, and I was like, I was like, okay, the contortionist act is, I've seen the show three times, 10 years ago.

And I was sitting down and I was just waiting for it. Three contortionists come out, these gorgeous, lovely women. It was the, only two this time

and they were Mongolian but that's fine. And they were, it was so, and the way that they were doing it fast, the legs and then over

and then all. Oh, so it was like speed contortionism. Yes, it was like totally synchronous, perfectly in unison. And it was just so, I started to cry. I started to cry.

I was like this, I was like. And then I started. And then I was like, oh, it's never gonna happen for me. Oh no. But it's fine though, because I just don never going to happen for me. Oh, no. But it's fine, though, because I just don't have the body for that kind of thing anymore. A lot of wear and tear in the legs. Is it sort of like a compulsion?

Like, what's the song? Like, Buttons by the Pussycat Dolls? If it comes on, you can't not like... Or like, I'm a slave for you. I want to be butted. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but it was... But a lot of them...

There's a... It was 11 years old. it was 11 years old. It was 11 years old. 11 years old. And I watched Circus Lake for the first time and I went home and then stretched

and stretched and stretched and six months later I could sit on my head. Seriously. Not joking, not joking. Seriously. Do you remember, do you remember

when Taylor Swift told that story about doing the splits? No. You don't know about this? No. It was a quote in a magazine. Does anybody else remember this? Okay, It was a quote in a magazine.

Does anybody else remember this? Okay, it was like Vogue or something. And they asked her about like a time she overcame adversity. This is not a joke. This is just a story. I'm kind of Tarantino-ing it. I already told you what she says,

but she was like, I wanted to do the splits and I never had been able to do the splits. And so I went home and I stretched, and I stretched, and I stretched, and soon I could do the splits. That was her being like, and that's, isn't that amazing? That's a harrowing journey.

And what a tale of triumph. Well, the good news is if you're young enough, you can train yourself through the splits. If you're 40 and you've never done it, I wouldn't say it's going to be an uphill battle that might end in... Yeah, dislocation. But this was before the full grift of puberty had sort of swathed itself over my body. You know, like it was like I was very pliable still. And I got to tell you guys, any youngsters out there, you might want to try this maybe with a gym coach or something,

but it's a really unique feeling, the sensation of having your buttock flesh press into the crown of your head. Okay, I would actually say that if you're a youth and your gym teacher wants to have a unique experience with your butt flesh, I think you should tell a friend. Or at least don't go in alone.

That is a really good point. You know what it alone. That is a really good point. You know what I mean? That's a really good point. That's a really good point. This episode is brought to you by CIBC. From closing that first sale to opening a second store, as a business owner, you've hustled to accomplish a lot. But the rewards don't stop there.

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You will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue.yorku.ca. It's really not important to me to have a lot of things to show off, fancy cars, you know, a giant home. Those things are just not part of who I am, but I've been coached and I've learned through my advisor that it's not

one size fits all. Everyone has their own preferences. Everything that I do with Edward Jones is tailored to who I am. Edward Jones, we do money differently. Visit edwardjones.ca slash different. But all the stars are out here in Toronto. Gee whiz guys. Wow. We had, But all the stars are out here in Toronto. Gee whiz, guys. Wow. We had a breakfast. I hope I'm not telling tales out of school.

But we had a breakfast with the stars. We did. A breakfast with the stars. We had breakfast with Amy Schumer. Yeah, it's Amy Schumer. Alex Adelman, very iconic. Megan Stalter. Yes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. At one point, halfway through the breakfast, Megan looked over at me and she says, I noticed you haven't been looking at me. I noticed you haven't looked at me in a while. Is everything okay? Girl, that was me with puddles. I was like, so you're not responding. Can I tell you a stretching story too? Oh, please.

So, I mean, this is like, you know, we talk about our body creaks and cracks a lot. When we're not talking about air conditioning. It's too short. I hope it's just not too short. You literally, this is like, you know, we talk about our body creaks and cracks a lot. When we're not talking about air conditioning. This dress isn't too short. I hope it's just not too short. You literally, this, like, Kim Basinger, like, it's kind of, you're like, I hope it's not short. Well, can I tell you the secret? What's the secret?

Panties sewn into the dress. Did you want to see this, too? Yeah, there you go. How's that for a pike? Wait, isn't a pike also a fish? We can't go back to this. We can't go back to this. So we're over that.

We've been going through a lot of creaks and crannies and pains. And listen, drag is really hard on your body. It really is like a 21-year-old drunk twinks game. It is. Squids on trees. That's who it's for. For us, like,

oh, I've been getting a lot of back pain from, I don't know, stillborn corsetry six hours a day doing Queen of the Universe.

Maybe that's it. So, I got a massage the other day and I've got a lot of massages. I have some great people and it's always not sexual

which in LA you have to dig to find somebody who's going to rub you where it's not like, so what areas bother? It's like, no, I need you to hurt me. Okay? Yeah rub you where it's not like, so what areas bother? It's like, no, I need you to hurt me. Okay.

Yeah. This woman, this woman, Debra comes in to this theater in this dressing room in this theater two days ago, works me out so fiercely in a way that I've never experienced in my life where I was on the table going, oh, oh, oh. And at the end, you know how people go like, I thought it was like self-indulgent. Like, after a massage, I always fucking cry. Like, no, you don't. Like, if you go into massage looking to cry,

you're a hurt person, and that's fine. But like, I had never, I stood up, and I was like. And she was like, are you okay? I said, I'm going to cry. And she said, any release is good release. Just let it go. And I was like, well, touring is really hard, and I want to be my best out there,

and I'm trying to be present. And just a little of my body, and I hugged her and started crying into her arms. And she was so nice and professional, she was like, let it all out. She's like, this happens a lot, it's totally fine. Debra. Debra!

Debra! I'm gonna be tweeting her contact info if you're in, like, she's in Toronto. She worked me out. It wasn't even that expensive, and it cried so, I mean, wait, it was extremely expensive, you should pay every penny, how about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't want you guys to be like, well, Trixie said it's cheap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I just cried into her arms for like, I was like, and she was like, it's drag. You can calm down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the healing power of touch. The healing power of touch. Yes. No, it happened to me just for three. She said

something else interesting that I need to talk to everyone here. Okay, wait, wait, wait. She said, well, that's why people are so into marijuana. She said, you, that's why people are so into marijuana. She said, you ever notice people are smoking? No, no. I mean, yes, but no. Not in this story, no. So she goes, a lot of people are smoking marijuana.

She goes, watch people who smoke marijuana. They're always taking a little puff and looking up towards God. Taking a little puff, looking up towards God. She said, it's people trying to connect. Connect with God. And I don't know if that's true, but I love it. I like thinking about it. Let me tell you something.

So it was on tour in Europe, in the UK. I had to go visit a church. I went inside the church and I said, can I please speak with the priest here? And they're like, what? They're like, you're a little old. Yeah, I was like, yeah. You're about 20 years too late, honey.

Come back when you have a kid. Oh, fuck. That's horrible. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you. I don't normally do that. Go on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No. No, so I was like, I was having some kind of spiritual experiences that were very disorienting at the time. And I sat down with the priest, lovely guy, and I was like,

Father, there's something I need to talk to you about. And I don't think he said, what is it, my child? But I imagine that's what he would have said. I don't think he said child.

No, I don't think he said child. He's like, what is it, my but i imagine that's what he would have said i don't think he said no i don't think he's like what is it there's a middle-aged man on the porch shaking a shaking a coffee cup of nickels get her out of here chase her out of here with a broom no and then i told him i was like you know i i think i hear the voice of god everywhere i go and sometimes it makes me cry and then and then was like very, very nice and then I was like I wonder why that is. Oh, it's because I'm smoking like 14 joints a day. Yeah. Well, marijuana it really does. It's an incredible

magical thinking. Medicinal drug. I gotta tell you, not to incriminate anyone but there's somebody in my life, I'm gonna call her mom. She gave birth to me. And when I go to Wisconsin, she's like, oh, I'm soisconsin she's like oh i'm so happy you're coming i'm so happy you're coming for christmas can you bring me along you know because like for people with chronic pain life-changing sure for drag queens trying to see god life-changing

absolutely you know yeah yeah god well i so i have a massage story too so i might i'm seven years older than her and my i put my body through a lot of wear and tear. I'm currently in need of a hip replacement, which is fun. If anybody knows a guy. Yeah, if anybody knows a good orthopedic surgeon, give me a referral. But anyway, so I enlisted the services of a lovely massage professional whilst in D.C., our nation's capital.

And then he... So it was a sensual massage but I don't like to do happy endings hope this is not an overshare but I don't like to get my wiener touched and I and side note it's a my heart goes out to the massage therapist community that it's actually actively difficult to find somebody who doesn't have to jerk you off do you you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is, I like people who are very, I like people who are, this dress is just so short.

Oh, God. But he, I had the craziest thing. He flipped me over, and then, like, whoosh, and then he, like, he did this thing on my neck, and I went, oh, God. And I, this is so gross. So my, my penis, which was currently flaccid, did like a cartoon stop animation.

Kind of like. Did you apologize? I was in the middle of apologizing when another biological process occurred, which I will just use your imagination. It's 2 p.m. But it was like an accident. And I was like, it wasn't an accident.

It was a God moment. It was like, mama, there are no accidents. There are no looking up towards God. No, I wasn't smoking any weed. I was stone cold sober, but I was just so feeling the moment. It was like, Mama, there are no accidents. There are no looking up towards God. I wasn't smoking any weed. I was stone cold sober, but I was just so feeling the moment tuned into the electricity of the experience that I was just like, Oh!

You know what I mean? It was incredible. No touching. Oh! Would you say it was like the sister to a nocturnal? It was a little involuntary. Would you say it was like the sister to like a Would you say it was like the sister to like a nocturnal like it was a little involuntary It was a daytime emission

Yeah it was Yeah yeah It was incredible though but I'm God it's so gross I'm such a heavy pre-comer it's so gross to say out loud but

You know what whatever But that's nature's lubricant you can't find a comparable liquid in CVS. And I'll tell you this. Whenever you're doing like sexy stuff, whenever I've been like, oh, sorry, I pre-cum a lot. It's not because I expect them to be like, it's okay, I'll deal with it.

I want them to go like, it's okay, I like it. And I'm like, you do. Pretending like we all don't know. Sorry, I cum a lot. Sorry. Sorry, when I'm turned on, I have a tendency to get so fucking wet. By the way, can you believe we are headlining this festival? I know.

I know. We're never coming back. I know. They're going to have Bob and Monet in here tomorrow. I know. I know. I feel so bad. I'm always expecting people to be like, yeah, it's disgusting.

I prefer it dry. You know? It's like, ooh. But so that was really funny. And I've been, you know, listen, if you guys, human touch, not to get sincere. Oh, God, this dress is so short. The therapist, Debra, said,

do you ever think how little we touch each other, not in a, like, hugging your mom or like a, you know? And I'm the queen of not touching people. You are, yeah. She was also like, think of all the ways you use your own body to do work but you never do work on your own body wow i said speak deborah speak it speak on it preach it preach it and then she left and i immediately put that steel bone corset right back why is this happening yeah the healing power of touch it's very healing

let me tell you um i you know i didn't have sex for about seven to eight years in my 20s something i deeply regret making up for it now and um i've recently i've recently encountered a young man who uh not only willingly does sex to my naked body but but but enthusiastically and i gotta tell you it's a whole it's j-lo in second act it's um mama. Yeah. It's epilogue. It's the epilogue. Yeah, it's the appendix. But I feel like... It's the acknowledgement, buddy. I feel very invigorated. 40 is, um...

You know, it all depends on how... Listen, we're all cars. You know, we're all cars. We all have different types of... Some of us made in Germany, others in Japan. Different mileages on all of us. And depending on the wear and tear of your car, you know, a 40 year old car from Germany is going to be a little bit different from one from the Soviet Union.

Do you think this audience knows about cars? You know what I mean though, right? You know what I'm saying? It's just, so what I'm trying to say is that I have the tightest cunt in LA. Uh-huh. With no, but you have to imagine though, LA is the home of the gape. Okay. It is.

LA is, LA is. Has anybody been to the Grand Canyon? It's, yeah. Yeah. Hoover Dam. Okay. I'm watching for them to come tackle us after saying all this shit. It's so gross.

But also, I found myself in a very unlikely friend group, to be honest, where they're all these Olympic-level bottoms. And I'm talking about taking all this furniture, this couch, right up their ass. Wouldn't even hit the sides. And it was just like, so I can't get that bottoming advice from my friends at brunch, you know,

which is girls at brunch and I can't get that sex and city advice like, how do I take that cog up my ass? And they're like, I don't know, just, you know.

And I'm an exclusive bottom but I play an Olympic level bottom on TV because I don't, I don't want, I don't want the lovely bones. I want normal. I don't want survivor because I don't, I don't want, I don't want the lovely bones. I want normal.

I don't want survivor. I don't want, I'm a celebrity. Get me out of here. Fear factor. No, no. I want literally the shred of someone's rather small pink,

you know, I'll be like, Oh my God. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't,

we don't have to really test the limits of human nature. We can pretend we are. I know. And I asked, I asked, um, I, with this lovely,

amazing muscular man, took me to the gym yesterday and gave me a lovely workout. And we were talking afterwards over lunch about how I was like, you know, I'm just not interested if I'm going to bottom have receptive anal intercourse. I'm not really interested in sacrificing half of my day skipping meals and this nonsense. He's like, oh, no. I mean, I only douche about for three hours.

And I was like, three hours? Wait a minute. You said he douches for three hours? Three hours. Are you lying to me? I'm not lying. That's not okay. That's what I said.

I was like, this is not okay. This is colonic irrigation. This is colonic irrigation. It's not a water pick. It's not a water pick. It's not the hose. People aren't water sliding down your GI tract. It's not a slip and slide.

Thank you. Mary. Jesus you. Mary. Jesus Christ. I felt like I was like... Be careful with your orifices. Thank you. Be careful with your... I recently hooked up with a gynecologist,

so as far as I'm concerned, I'm a fucking woman. But not all women have vaginas, so that's also true, but... I hooked up with a gynecologist, and I was like, everything business as usual back there. And he was like, noologist and I was like, everything business as usual back there. And he was like, no.

And I was like, okay. But again, it doesn't have to be true. It's just the yes and, you know? Is everything business as usual down there? What kind of business you got down there? Like, is it a vagina? No. Does it have that energy?

Yeah. You know. Oh, my God. My skirt is so short, guys. Sorry about that. You know what it's giving? Like, I don't know. Like, Kim Basinger tries on a tight dress.

It's like, so short. Oh, shit. It's 1995 and everybody's going to see my cunt. Oh, no. Okay. You got to be careful. Can I also got to tell you? I got a new phone. Oh, a little one. I also gotta tell you, I got a new phone.

Oh, a little one. I got a new phone because I broke my little phone. Well, I had like the giant, you know, the like Star Wars. Yeah, yeah. The tablet.

It's the tablet. It's the tablet. And I'm doing my little content. It's a full swipe like this on my phone. Yeah, yeah. But I said, you know what?

We have to draw the line in the sand and I got a mini and you can't tell me fucking anything. Yeah. Because let me tell tell you this is what god intended yeah the little guy we don't have to do mac like traveling macbook screens stuck to our hand on a strap this this little phone listen this is all you need yeah well i'll never forget later I'll never forget. In 2001, the Baroness of Belgium, Audrey Snois, she pulled out a tiny little Nokia, not the size of a Tic Tac container. And I was like, did you love it?

I loved it. I mean, I hadn't had a cellular phone at that point. It was 2001. And I couldn't believe it. Actually, it was the year 2000. And she pulled out this tiny little Nokia thing right from Charlie's Angels. Remember? She put up, hello.

Yes, the tiny little phone. Tiny, tiny little phone. We have to stop the giant. I'm like the, it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve of giant phones now. I'm like, you need to stop. Yeah, yeah. That's all we need.

Well, I found out that I think I'm going to switch from blue to green because I saw those Samsung ones, the smartphones that fold right in half. Oh my goodness. Look at that. Do you live? Look at that, look at that, look at that. Can I see it? half. Oh my goodness. Look at that. Do you live? Look at that.

Look at that. Can I see it? Let's give it here. Look at it. I got a few calls to make. Look at it. Do you remember back in the day at concerts when... Oh, thank you.

Look. Look, so it's a smartphone. Sorry, this just became a Samsung panel. Wow. I just have to... Would you stop yelling at me? I'm so flustered. God.

Sorry. Oh, no, she's crumbling. Now I'm being... She's crumbling. She's crumbling. Are you from Verizon? Yeah, yeah. Wait, wait. I just need you to flip. I need you... She's crumbling. She's crumbling. Are you from Verizon? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, wait, I just need you to flip.

I need you to flip the phone close. I just want to see the flip. So, wait, wait, wait. I just want to see the flip. You have listening problems. Oh, the flip. It's amazing. Thank you.

It's amazing. It's amazing. I really love that. Thank you. I'm okay. I'm going to sit down. Thank you. Thank you guys for indulging our neuroses. I really love that. Thank you. I'm okay. I'm gonna sit down. Thank you.

Thank you guys for indulging our neuroses. We like the audience free and wild. Engage, not caged, okay? By the way, somebody's got body makeup all over this chair. Oh my God. It's so disgusting. What a pig. This episode is brought to you by Mazda.

When you drive a Mazda, you'll find out why RSUVs won more 2024 IIHS top safety picks than any other brand as of June 2024. Find out what makes Mazda different at Mazda.ca. Hey, you. Yeah, you. Scrolling TikTok and avoiding your chem homework? Chegg here. Hot take. You've seen enough Bama Rush, ASMR keyboard, and viral dance videos for one day. Let's lock in and start that assignment. If you need a little help, lean on Chegg's expert-supported learning tools. I say this with love. Put on some lo-fi beats and get going with our step-by-step study support.

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excellence, and innovation meet. Learn more at our open house events on October 15th and 16th. Register now at causeandeffect.ucc.on.ca. Should we see what the people have to say? Yeah, we'd love to, if you have any queries or quandaries, we'd love to open up the floor for some questions. Now, I do have something I would like to say, a preface. Try to keep the weirdness factor to a 2pm level, okay?

We can't do trauma. We're not doing Jamie Lee Curtis trauma. We're not doing it. No, no trauma. Don't be invited. Uplifting. Yeah, uplifting, curious, you know, things of that nature. I myself do not have very many boundaries, but I will, you know. Okay, so if you want to just raise your hand and then we'll point at you and then you can shout out your question and then we'll answer it.

You can be the picker. You're like a little clairvoyant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can pick the people. I'm going to stand up so people don't see my crotch. This dress is so short. Oh my God. Okay, let's go.

But pink shirt right here. Glasses inside. Let me start. This dress is so short. Oh, my God. Okay, let's go. But pink shirt right here. Glasses inside. Let me start. I got laser eye surgery. Did you really? Because you knew about this lighting. You were like, let me get laser eye surgery. Your eyeballs would have popped right out of your noggin

if you had seen us in this light. Yeah. So congratulations. Thank you. My question. Trixie. After all this... Thank you. My question, Trixie, after all these years... No, just kidding, just kidding.

I know he's blind and he cannot see, so I'll allow it. Maybe he thought you were me. Oh, yes, that's right. On your best... He thought you were someone seven years younger. By the way, it's usually the opposite. It's usually the exact... What did somebody say to us recently? Something insane?

Somebody at the meet and greet recently said, Trixie, my husband and I saw you a few months ago. Wait, wait, wait. Let me say it. Okay. Let me say it. Say it. Sometimes pause, put a pin in that.

We're coming to you. We're coming to you. Put a pin in that. Somebody, sometimes the meet and greet is a very interesting situation. Yeah. Because we get short little bursts of interaction with people and you never know what you're going to get. Sometimes the comment is so honestly, sincerely touching, heartfelt.

Like where I could, if I had time to think about it, I would cry. It's so meaningful, wonderful. Sometimes it's hysterical. Sometimes it's wild. Sometimes it's extremely insulting. Girl. And we sat down and somebody said somebody said oh so happy to meet you guys uh trixie my husband and i saw you a few months ago he was gonna come tonight but he said you weren't worth seeing twice i was like well you're the one who paid three hundred dollars for a meet and greet whore

yeah and then and and then seeing how like the gray flush of my skin was like, it was so crazy. And then he doubled down on it and was like, oh, no, no, no, it's okay. He would want me to tell you that. But do you know what I said?

Do you remember what I said to him? I said, did you know we don't have to say everything? Yes. Yeah. You're like, sometimes we have thoughts

that don't need to come out of our mouths, you know? So wild. So anyway, picture. I have to talk to my fan now what's up yeah scream into this microphone well as we all know katya you love the movie contact yeah sure i love the movie contact uh-huh all these years trixie have you finally watched contact i did see watch i did watch contact and i actually i was quite moved, I was quite moved.

I was quite moved. The part in the courtroom when she's giving her deposition and no one believes her. I mean, Jodie Foster turns it out. She really does. And then I was gagged. I was gagged when they found the however many hours. 18 hours of static. Is it worth talking about for years?

You know. But here we are. Okay, next question. Let's go right here in the blue hat. Hello. It's directed. Yeah, what's up? You're like Santa's little helper.

I know. Oh, God. It's a suggestion. I can't wait. Here we go. you're like Santa's little helper I know you're very sweet but oh my god am I not you should get that information from certified professionals. I thought I was a good guitar player because I grew up barefoot in a tree. I was the only guitar player I knew. I was like, I'm incredible. Then when I went in the world and started hiring real guitar players, I was like, oh, I should sit the hell down. Shut up, bitch. It was like, when I started working with real guitar players, I was like, never mind. It was sort of like I was like a mom doing like flirty girl fitness. Oh, sure.

And then I saw, what was that stripper movie with J-Lo? Hustler. Yes. And I was like, never mind. Take the pole down in the living room. Yeah. Stop it. Yeah.

Yeah. Humbling experience. Another question? Another question for Tracy. Yeah. Right over here. I love hot moms. Yeah.

First time photo with you two? No. I know, but this is a question time. Yeah, we have two photos that are questions now, though. The dolls with you on tour? The dolls stay at home in boxes in the closet. Yeah. We are the dolls on tour.

Yeah, we are the dolls. Does anybody have a question for me? Don't you look at this person and have questions? Yeah. Doesn't this inspire lines of inquiry? Yeah, right there. You're pointing at her. Yeah, exactly you.

She can't believe it. Okay, so this is a funny thing. How many languages have I learned? People love to give me credit for being way smarter than I really am. They're like, oh my God, do you know she speaks 12 languages? I'll say like, I'll learn hello in Italian. And then all of a sudden I'm like adjunct faculty at the University of Pisa. A manager at the Olive Garden.

Yeah, yeah, totally. I only know French, and I like Russian, and that's pretty much it. I don't really know anything. Yeah, well, we've been working on our Canadian. Yeah, yeah.

Hello, how are you? Thank you for coming to the show tonight. Have you been down to the Tim Hortons? Yeah. Is it good? It's not good.

Oh, but I recently learned that this is a very fascinating thing that a lot of Quebecois slang comes from the church. And I recently was able to put my penis inside the bum of a French Canadian. And as he was... Can I say it? Can I say this out loud? As he was ejaculating?

Ooh. Yeah. He said, Oh, tabernak. What is that? So it's oh, tabernak. What is that? So it's like, it means fuck. And apparently like all the slang comes from like the church related. Tabernacle?

Tabernacle choir. Tabernacle choir. Oh my God. And then he had said like, oh, tabernak. Like you're like, you're fucking hot. And I was like, oh my God, it was like really cool to know. I've never known. I never knew that.

So if you're ever in like, if you're ever in like a municipal building in um in Quebec city just scream out and then um definitely won't get in trouble for that so in addition for going to your gym teacher to look at your butt you should go down to the church and scream fuck me but not fun though I think it's fun I That's fun. Hey. Hey. Oh, another question? Mm-hmm. Yeah, right here. The pigtails, the black top.

Mm-hmm. Hi. I have a Kelly Mantle question. Oh, great. You love a Kelly Mantle question. Love a Kelly Mantle question. Finally, something interesting. Yes, thank you. I've seen Kelly Mantle twice.

She's so incredible. What's the role? Wait for her. How did she come to the show? Okay, so she's seen the show twice, and she's wondering if the role of Sandy and the CEO was written for Kelly Mantle. And I actually, I don't know if it was written for her, but she was our first choice. Yes, I'm going to give her more credit, which is it was written as any age or gender expression, anything and no nothing. And we just gave her the gentle suggestion of, you're a used car salesman

and we're the last two on the lot. Yeah. And she was like, okay. She knew exactly what to do. She's so, Kelly is such a pro.

And it's funny because I forget that a lot of, if you're like a fan of Drag Race, you might not even know who she is because she was on

one episode. But Kelly Mantle was like, a very talented actor and she has a huge cv and has worked a lot in the industry for years and years and years way before drag race and during and after um and it was kind of a tragedy that she was axed on that first episode but she's so fun to work with and we did a huge script rewrite during the break, and she had three new monologues or something,

and we gave it to her the day before we started trying to keep her on her toes. Radio City. Yeah. And she nailed it. It's amazing. Amazing.

You know when you have like an aging parent, you maybe give them like a Rubik's Cube or something just to like keep it fresh. That's with Kelly. We got to keep her engaged or she just kind of like...

What did she say? She was... She enjoys Countess Lunel's cabaret. Yeah, she said, I love housewives. I love that Countess Lunel who does the cabarets.

Yeah. And then the other day she called Tim Hortons Reverend Hortons. And I got to tell this story and it's kind of her story but I have to tell it. I got to tell it.

Kelly, we were in Sydney, Australia and Kelly Mantle was like, I'll get myself to the gig. No problem. She does half her makeup at home. So her drag foundation's on. And then she has her little suitcase and she's in her day drag getting to the gig. She puts the directions into the phone, how to get to the theater. And she doesn't realize she's using the car directions. Kelly Mantle's in just drag face, walking down the shoulder of the freeway in Sydney, Australia looking like Eileen Wuornos, the freeway killer.

And she called for help and they were like, just walk down the shoulder, just walk down the ramp and call us and we'll come get you. So she's wise and talented, worldly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. God doesn't give with both hands. And she's too beautiful. She's too beautiful to be smart.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How many of you can relate to that? We go right here, pink hair. Hey. You can stand. You can sit. It doesn't matter. I can hear you perfectly.

Did you manage to see any local drag? Oh, did we see any local drag? We didn't. We don't go out a lot. No, we don't go out a lot. Yeah. Tonight, what's happening tonight? Priyanka?

Isn't she here? She is here. Where are you? She's right there. Yay! Opa! Opa! Canada royalty, Priyanka.

Now, when she leaves the theater, we're going to let her get to her car safely without being her limbs torn off. Okay. Well, that's the other issue. Sometimes when we go to a local drag show,

let's say the drag queen on stage is doing reveals and kicks. If we're sitting in the audience, people are like... Yeah. And it's actually

a little rude to the performers. It is rude. Yeah, I know. I don't like that. We don't like to try to do that. Although, girl...

Did you ever go in a disguise? Mary? Have you done a disguise? Well, I think that if I wear glasses, I know. I don't like that. We don't like to try to do that. Although, girl. Did you ever go into disguise? Mary? Have you done a disguise? Well, I think that if I wear glasses, I'm a different person. And David's like, everybody here, you look exactly the same. By the way, recently I was supposed to hang out. I said, I didn't ask Kachi to go to lunch with me because I don't want her to get sick of me.

And David goes, why? We all are. So true. So true, bestie. I went to karaoke in ottawa and wait what is this accent it's my it's my french canadian oh okay it's kind of celine dion okay okay hello how are you thank you for coming tonight and it's not great it's not great so uh i go to karaoke and it was, it started. It started right off the bat. 7 p.m. karaoke started with a girl going in on I Dreamed a Dream.

Oh, shit. She started the night swinging big and she committed. Like the Anne Hathaway one? Yes. I was like, we are doing depression karaoke tonight, bitch. Did she cry? She was almost there. And she even had a short, like a little Mia Farrow haircut. So it was like bitch. Jesus. Did she cry? She was almost there. And she even had a short, like,

a little Mia Farrow haircut, so it was, like, fierce. Yes, and then, but then, like, two people later, someone, some guy sings Gangster's Paradise in Ottawa. And he's in, like- The Michelle Pfeiffer one? She doesn't sing in it.

Oh, okay. But, yeah, she's from that movie. She's in this, yeah. Yeah, and he's just going hard and he's throwing arms and stuff and I was like, whoa. That is so wild. So go to Ottawa for karaoke.

That is my drag. Because karaoke is drag. People who bring their own CDs to karaoke are doing drag like no other. Has anybody done that? I don't trust those type of people. It exists. Yeah, I know.

It exists. They're like, I didn't get on Broadway, so y'all are going to learn about me at karaoke. Or like, that you don't even have to write your paper down on the slip because the person knows what song you're going to sing. Yeah.

Stand by your man. It's always like that song. What's your karaoke go-to? People at the party. Everyone had matching towels. Oh, Rock Lobster? Yeah. Okay.

Rock Lobster. Singing, because if I'm at the bar, I'm drunk. So we're not doing come fly with me. We're doing like yelling. Michael Buble. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I almost did. Well, mine would be Blue Bayou by Roy Orbison. But I have to get alcohol poisoning drunk and I don't even drink. So it's like, it's just not going to happen. So you're going to have to hope that people pin you down and throw shots down your throat. Like waterboard me. Like in order to do that. Yeah, I just don't. With serve vodka.

Yes. Is it time? We've got a few more minutes left. I don't want to get in trouble. Another question? Yeah. Another question? Yeah. Thank you so much for bringing up a very important issue of the climate crisis.

Not all heroes wear capes. They wear little mini skirts. This lovely young ingenue, straight from the pole, has asked us just down the pike. No judgment, of course. Just stating facts.

She wants to know how has the air conditioning been in Toronto or in Canada? How much time do you have? Well, we gotta tell you. We gotta tell you after Radio City.

Hi. She's just listening. Get back in your seat. She's a gentle I can see your under boob It's amazing Walk away I'm going to stand up for this

We were in Radio City Have we talked about We did Radio City talked about We did and I'm going to talk A little bit more about it Because Listen

I am a very simple person I have a complicated personality But When it comes to knowing Things about me There's only one thing You need to know Listen, I am a very simple person. I have a complicated personality, but when it comes to knowing things about me, there's only one thing you need to know. I sweat. I sweat a lot. I sweat hard, and I sweat often.

And I start sweating immediately, and I don't stop until it gets freezing cold. Now, if you've ever been to a drag show, you know that it's rarely freezing cold, but here we are. I'm doing drag drag the highest level and i gotta have a cold i gotta have it cold we gotta have a cold we gotta have a cold i mean and now i gotta tell you this our lovely friends i gotta i got a truth to tell yeah i'm more heated about this than tiny iphones let me tell you, during our tour, they have tents on either side of the stage.

So when we walk off stage, there's a tent with an air conditioner blowing at 60 at all times. We come right off stage and into the... And that might sound high maintenance, but on the tour of Avenue Q, they have hand massagers, so whatever. Yeah, yeah, thank you. We come right into the... We're Gwyneth Paltrow and Rene Russo in Outbreak and Contagion, respectively. We're in the isolation tent and bleary

and bug-eyed, trying to get that core temperature lowered. Because at a certain point, at a certain point, listen, any and all conditions, but at a certain point, we cannot serve glamour when the aluminum siding has melted off the

building. Do you know what I mean? You guys probably got here the earliest or got the best tickets, and it's this lighting this close. You're not even fans of us anymore. Was that jigsaw? Did we just go to the live saw production?

We apparently went to fucking Sweeney Todd today. Seriously. That's the kicker. They have the right idea. Yeah. Don't we look gorgeous? Tiny little black sequined specs. Paris Jackson.

Paris Jackson and Dove Cameron. Kristen Chenoweth. Yeah. Crystal Chenoweth. No, Kristen. Kristen Chenoweth. Crystal Chenoweth and Dove Cameron. And Kristen Chenoweth. Yeah. Crystal Chenoweth. No, Kristen. Kristen Chenoweth. Crystal Chenoweth and Dove Cameron. Kim Passenger.

Kim Passenger. Kim Passenger. Let's do a couple more questions. A couple more questions. We love engaging with you guys. Let me do like. We never get to talk to you. Yeah.

Can you just do Swedish Cher? Oh, yes. Yes. I don just do Swedish Cher? Oh, yes. Yes. I don't do Cher. I am Cher, bitch. And maybe I did pick up a little bit of the accent when I was in the Swede. You should be assassinated for that.

I know. I know. But you know what, though? Because not every day are we feeling it, perhaps, backstage. And I know if I have to juice myself up, like... Like Trimix. Trimix into my comedic cock. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Trimix is an injection you use in a penis to make it hard during porno shoots. Ladies, she knows. She knows. The Pike guy went, you know. He just pointed at her. He goes, she knows. She knows. They, he just put, the Pike guy went, you know. He just pointed at her. He goes, you know. And yes, I'll come back and right before the show, I'll be like, you're ready for the show, bitch. It's not helpful, but it makes me feel good.

There's something about it that's very funny to me. And I actually. We kind of do a version of it where Cher's homophobic which she's not but I'll be like why do they need a parade you know it's like I don't know why do they have to be so in your face about it like like a version of Cher that's like yeah if I could turn back time I'd keep marriage between a man and a woman, bitch. And of course, she's not homophobic. But to me, the idea of sharing a tinsel wig,

being like, what do you mean you have a girlfriend? Like, it's so funny to me. Because there is an alternate universe where like Cher's a conservative person and like Lindsey Graham is in a beaded wig. You know what I mean? Right, right, right, right, right. There's a version. It's funny because back in the day,

it was kind of, she's not exactly the most, like, you know, blue-blooded liberal. She's rich, so. But anyways, yeah. Malibu. Malibu, yeah.

It's very funny to me. But you had to call her the other day. It was like, you called Cher. I was like, can you do the, she called and she said,

can you do Cher? And she was like, it was sort of inferred, like, can you do homophobic Cher? And I'm like, uh, fine. I put in my AirPods and I'm like, who is this fraggot? You know, it's like...

I don't know. To me, this is the future liberals want. You gotta find little nuggets of happiness however you can. Anybody else? Let me pick one. Yeah, yeah, why don't you go ahead. Let me see.

You've had such great hand up. What's your question? Oh, okay, my dress is so short. You've had such great hand up, what's your question? Oh, okay, great. I'm a little scared of saying that people will do a little trick drag and it sounds very imminent and scary. And I was wondering if you could help for us

that you'll- Interesting you say that because. Yeah, yes. So this lovely person was asking, we drop hints frequently about our imminent departure from drag. Is there any truth to that? Listen, every day is a gift. Every day is a journey.

But the clock is ticking. If you've ever been to a drag show where the drag queen earnestly wants to be there, it's Stepford Wives. It's creepy. When a drag queen's like, it's Sunday brunch. I love to be alive. I want the drag queen who comes from behind the curtain hungover is like do we really fucking have to do this yeah yeah well there's this amazing a gabriel art photographer posted this amazing clip of hannah montana um where miley cyrus was like uh peeking out through the curtain was like oh my god i love

you so much i wish you could be here all night she turns around she's like get out of here yeah and then flips the microphone up. It is so funny, but that's the kind of like, that's, um, that is the vibe, you know?

And we, we, we are, but there's two things can exist simultaneously. Yeah. That's like, we love it, but we also fantasize about disappearing.

Yeah. And we already have disguises, but unfortunately those disguises aren't good for disappearing that's why we have immigration problems we show up with disguises in a suitcase and they're like so you're not a criminal and I'm already planning my plastic surgery

third act oh we also we're lucky to get into this country because every time you come over here on a tour bus you gotta get we drive in the middle of the night what time do we get up four in the morning four in the morning we have to wake up on the bus and everybody's in like you know the lgbt version of comfy so it's just like you know bioterrorism yes people have half blue hair and they're like and they make you walk into this humiliating little like you know hello how are you and you

you know you come in and you're just like, you have your passport. And you're like, I'm gay. And they're like, come on. I walked in there and I was like, I looked like. I don't even think my eyes were open. No, these like two red slits were like. And they're like, do you have any marijuana on you? I was like, no.

Like, do you have any tobacco on you? I was like, yes. And that's all I remember. And then I went right back to bed. It was fierce. Good thing they didn't, like, do you have any marijuana? I'm like, why do you want a little, you know? I'd rather you do it in the house. I'd rather you do it in the house. Marijuana is legal here, right?

Who's medicated already? Woo! That's good. Now be careful. Some of those strains do inspire some magical thinking. Girl. Girl. My psychiatrist recently told me that weed can cause psychosis. Just so something to chew on while you're sparking up that doobie.

If Latrice Royale offers you weed, step away. Step away. Yeah. Well, I think we're almost at the end of our little... You know, we got to leave on time because there's nothing I hate more in comedy when I see the light flashing and the person refuses to stop. Oh, no. If I ever do stand up again, swear to God, as soon as I see that light, I'm going to go...

So anyway, I said... Because, you know, whatever it is... Doesn't matter. Just leave. Just leave. Just leave. We don't hold audiences hostage. because you know whatever it is doesn't matter just leave just leave just leave we don't hold audiences hostage and you know audiences

think they want long shows they don't you don't really you don't however I will I know that the fans have been clamoring because I am very

plugged in online and I god my skirt is so short and I'm I'm just gonna I would love to to close with a little ditty

yeah yeah sure a little acapella voice thing I've been working on working real hard at this I have a coach I have a coach in LA so delicious so delicious

I have a coach in LA and we're we're thinking about an album of like or an EP of old standards so I'm just getting the pipes all warmed up

and practicing everyday three four hours so here we go. Ah. Shh. Ah. Shh. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. I think that was amazing that was Rival Tapestry

in B-flat thank you so much I have to say thank you to the festival. I mean, for us to be able to headline something like this. When we saw the poster, we were like, why are we on the same poster as these people? I know. I was like, is this a joke? Is everybody making fun of us? Oh, man. The pig's

blood. I'm ready. Yeah, totally. And thank you all for listening to the ball. By the way, on the poster for this festival, it literally says the bold and the beautiful. Which was a soap opera back in the day. We're getting sued. Good for us. And thank you for coming. Thank you for listening to the podcast. We bold and the beautiful. Yeah. Which was a soap opera back in the day. We're getting sued. Good for us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And thank you for coming.

Thank you for listening to the podcast. We really love doing it. We love it. We love it. Thank you. Bye. Have a lovely day.

Bye. Oh, shit. Get your pets spayed and neutered and get a smaller iPhone. Thank you.