The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Meatball and the Forbidden Posterior Pickle

Episode Date: September 29, 2026

As night fell and the city surrendered to shadow, Meatball and Trixie embarked upon a feverish pilgrimage through humanity’s most sacred mysteries: the ceremonial placement of pickles in derrieres, Tokyo’s boundless reverence for American mass, and the strange, ancient show-business covenant that true legends should erupt in a spectacular blaze of glory by one’s mid-thirties. Beneath the cold glow of Burbank streetlights and a watchful crescent moon, their conversation drifted deeper into the darkness; where fame, flesh, and mortality seemed less like jokes than warnings carried on the midnight air. By dawn, all that remained was scorched microphone pop filters and the faint scent of butts and brine. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome back to the Bald and the Beautiful. As usual, we have me and the full-time co-host of the Bald and the Beautiful Meatball. Hello. I'm back. And if you guys think it was ever somebody else, it's the glitch in the Matrix, it's been you the whole time. Yes, it's always been me. This is a photo of you. Yeah, and I look so good as a little white kid.

You look so good. I'm wearing the same shirt. You kind of are. And honestly, this Bob, this Women's 90s Bob. Girl. This Becky Connor hair. It's giving. Hunt. I went looking...

You're looking at a 9-year-old picture and say it's giving cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I went looking for a little tiny Katia wig today. I could not find one. I went to Santi. Do you want a bald cap? I almost did that too, but I don't know how to apply it. We have them. Did you do this to Rob?

Yeah, Roz put it on over her whole face. Ross pulled it over her chin and lips and talked through it like a crazy... Yeah, okay. Have any of you seen a bald person before? Why do you think that being bald means our faces are contorted? I don't know. I'm sorry. You've never been bald.

No, but I'm like, I'm getting there, I think. Me and Dipper talk about going to Turkey all the time. We've had this combo. I'm so sick of you faggots. Look, look, this is crazy. It just flew the chat. Oh, no. Your wig cap flew the chat.

I don't even know where. Oh my God, it just flew away. Girl. I don't. Oh, well, it's done. It's literally gone. Anyway, I think they got it. It's so great that you have so many pictures of, and statues of me around here.

Shut. Don't you think? It's probably me. So why don't you tell everybody how bald you are and I'll just sit here and listen. Okay, so right here, I'm sorry to lose a lot of hair and then I thank you so much. And then recently I was in New Orleans

so I was taking a lot of photos with my friends and my mom decided to text me because I was sending her to the POTUS and she goes, yeah, you really need to take some more of that monocodil or whatever those pills you were on because she was coming for my baldness. But then I had to go, well, if you would have rolled me over more when I was a baby,

the back of my head wouldn't be flat. Now who's in charge? Who's in charge of the girls? I find it, all my, all my gay friends, I think it's, well, how old are you? 35. So all my gay friends about our age are all starting to be like, my hair line. And I just sit there looking like, Kayu. Like white little bill?

Well, everyone's like, don't you see it? It used to be here and now it's here. But I think it's different. I mean, you kind of lucked out because you chose to go bald super early. Because I said, you're not going to get me. Yeah. If we're going to do it, we're going to do it young. and that way I just look the same forever.

That was my plan. I don't know if it's worked. I think it's a perfect plan. My dad is starting to lose a lot right here, but he will continue to maintain his ponytail. And I'm like, we got to do one or the other. Like, you can have the donut ring, but you can't have ponytail and ring.

Because it's giving the, from the Simpsons, the comic book store guy. Yes, it's giving comic book guy. It's giving like old hippie that smokes too much weed. For sure. Not willing to let go. This is, well, you also have a hairy body. Yes.

So everything kind of goes. Hair here, hair, here, here. Well, when I was taking the monoxide, my shoulders got thicker. Like, you grow hair everywhere more, so everything got thicker and crazy. This is the hairiest part of my body. Your butt.

You're lower back? Wait, you don't have that much leg hair? It's not even that much hair. It's so thin and wiry. I know, it's thin and dark and wiry. I told my brother, my brother goes, why is your lower back so hairy? I said it's my welcome mat.

Isn't that disgusting? No, I think that's beautiful. Listen, I got to tell people who you are because even though you've been here, You've been on every type of Trixie media a thousand times. I've actually never been here before. Unbald? Well, you know her from Queens who like to watch.

You know her from Fat Slyt. You know her from Sloppy Seconds. You know her from my Halloween special last year. Oh, yes. Okay, so. Tracy, there's a little girl behind you. That was Tracy. That was Tracy.

It's her. So today's co-host is an impeccable drag queen, an uproarious podcaster, the host of Fat Slut every month at Precinct, and was recently seen on family feud harassing Steve Harvey. It's Meatball. Yeah. L.A. drag royalty for real.

I, sure. Maybe one day. I want to be, yeah. I think you're like L.A.'s drag queen. I think I'm working a lot, but I don't think I'll like, I'm not like a Jackie B. I want to be like a hecklinga where when I die, people think about me, you know? Oh, they just put out further information about that. Yeah, I know.

Which is crazy and really sad But when I did Drag me to dinner with her I just kept making fun of her And saying that she was gonna die soon And then three months later she did So maybe Kelly's not the only magical one here at PEG That's so crazy because Roz was just here

And she's a ghost hunter And she said that Hecklina told her That she's gonna kill you Bum bum You know what though I'm heck of course Hecklin is an amazing icon I think she would be flatter by saying

you wanted to be just like her. Yeah. So. I mean, yeah. I mean, I try to eat butts on stage just like she did.

Yes, you really do. I just saw a fucking, I get so mad at you and your parties because I get mad at the things that happened. I saw a video of you

put, a picture of you putting a pickle up a guy's ass. Yeah, and then we took it out and I fed it to Willem because she'll eat anything. And that was a great night.

That was also, that was the same night. That was like last month. Yeah, that was the same night, Chapel Roan was there and I walked up to her and I went,

hey girl, you're going to stay for the food eating competition? And she just looked at me and went, no. I was like, literally her guard was like, I think she knows what's about to happen. And I don't think she wants to see it. Her boundaries. She's like, yeah.

She was like, I came for the show. I came for LaGandia. She said, I'm a lezzy, not a faget. Goodbye. I'm not into pickle shit. Yeah, I'm not going to watch Willem eat feces off a pickle. Hey, hey, he was really clean. I always count on that one contestant to be clean as hell.

They always say that. Well, when you heard the story about the one time that they weren't clean. Oh my God. Why don't you tell it? The guy came up on stage. Didn't you just go on Kelly's pot and talk about feces? Right. No poop. No, no poop. No, let's do it. No, I don't want to do it.

No, I don't want to do it. Okay. It took a lot of thing. Don't make me sing. So this guy, I call out into the audience because at my party I say, if you get the hot dogs, you have to put it up your butt. And the person who got the hot dogs didn't want it. So I was like, for $50, who will put a hot dog up their butt? Because people will do anything for my dog.

And then this guy came up on stage, put it in his butt, and when he shot it out, poop came out with it. And all of his friends went, we told you not to do it! And so we had to stop the show because it's a biohazard. I've been in shows where there was poop and they have to stop the show. Yeah, we had to fully stop the show. And Cornbread was like, just keep it going. And I was like, corn, no, it's over. Do you know porcelain?

Oh, yes. I've heard the porcelain. I've heard the porcelain, though, because it's so good. And I don't feel like this is me breaking news. This is like an old story. It's old, old, old. Porcelain, we did a show in Chicago together a long time ago. I think it was before I was on drag race or something.

But it was... Portsland did a number called Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman, I believe. No. I am your lady. You are my man. Sillian Dion. That's worse. Okay, so it was that. And she came out and she had put water up in her butt so that... And she cleaned out and then put water

so that she could pull up her dress and squat and push the water out of her ass and pee like a woman during the set, during the number. Wow. But... not all of it was water. And so the audience was like, yes, punk rock drag. And then you see the whole front row turn and walk away.

And then the smell hits the audience and everyone starts backing up. And then of course, like gay bars don't have a shit cleanup set ready. So they go to get like a squeegee, a broom, and some rubbing alcohol. And they have to like swab the stage. And I will say, we're taking risk. We're taking fashion risks. Well, speaking of fashion risk and a bow. Have you seen the video of Miss Woman the Woman, that's New York Queen?

She was in a pack. Her name is Miss Woman the Woman. Isn't it so good? That's awesome. She's incredible if you're ever in New York, need to see her show. But she did this number where she's like in a nightgown and she cuts it off and she's completely silver. She cuts it off. She turns around and bends over, pulls out another nightgown from her butt, shakes it out, puts it on.

And the craziest part, Trixie, is that it was dry. There was nothing. It wasn't like lubed up. before it went in, it came out dry. There's pills for that. If you're experiencing vaginal dryness. She's experiencing vaginal dryness. But she put on the dress and finished the number

and I thought it was the most incredible thing I've ever seen. I... Okay. Well, you're not a freak nasty. No, let me tell you something no one's ever said. Drag is art. And art is, what is it? Subjective.

Art is subjective. Whatever. That. Who said that, though? You know who it was? It was James Earl Jones. And I have always said that. Your father.

Your drag mother. Your drag mother. Yes. So I wanted to ask because things happened to us in drag. And I feel like Fatslet is so fun because I feel like you're setting the girls up for some kind of reckoning

where we're going to see something at a gay club that maybe we can't forget. Like the time I DJed for St. Patrick's Day and I saw people rub green jello with corned beef and hash all over themselves. I still think of the smell of corned beef and hash and jello. Well, you know the thing about Fatslet is that it's a beautiful.

made show so that if you just want to see drag, you can just go for the first two acts. That's true. And there's no mess during the first two acts unless you rock'em Sakura. And then... I just saw her. I just saw her last night. At Mickey's. She was at Mickey's last night?

On Monday. Was it last night Monday? No, last night was Tuesday. It was Comedy Queen pageant. She was at Mickey's on Monday. Oh. She did California girls, I think. With sunburned all over her.

Wait. Skin coming off. Did she? Did she squeeze a watermelon between her thighs? Yes. Okay, she did that at fat slot like last month. Number repeater. No.

Aoffer repeater. Outfit repeater. Kill yourself, bitch. Lancy McGuire, kill yourself. Um, didn't, uh... But she was amazing. It was so good. And I also love, well, she was like peeling it off of herself.

He's such an amazing boy body. Yeah. I know. It's insane. I think he's so handsome. And in drag and love his makeup. Yeah. And it's perfect.

Perfect. Like, both sides are exactly. even the way she does her nose and her lips. I wish I cared. You do care. No, I look like shit sometimes and I'm okay with that. You used to look a lot worse. You did.

Do you think? Yeah, that's Katia's side. She's done all that. Okay. Yeah, of course I looked worse. But I thought when you started, I thought part of your thing was that the look was like, a little more clowny, a little more crazy wacky. They weren't exploring beauty.

you then. And I'm not now. I'm not that girl that wants to do you. You know what I want is plastic tiara to just touch my face. I want her to touch your face. Why does everyone keep saying that? How come no one's asking me to do plastic? Do you ever think about that? Maybe we're sick of seeing plastic look like Miss Miss Pennhouse 98. Maybe that bitch should be- We need to put that bitch in the circus. Clowny. Cercusy. Barbie doll. Did you know Brandon? Brandon's, okay, I went to the Serpents tour. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were there too, right? Yeah, yeah. Awesome show. Loved it. It was insane.

98 people on stage doing bad romance. I was like, what the fuck is this? I was like, am I at a concert? Like, what happened? Oh, me and Katia booking live shows where one of us might not show up. Meanwhile, we got plastic. We got plastic with 80 people

doing Gaga level choreography with the wind blowing and the hair. I was like, what the fuck? So I was at that and Brandon brought his mom because, you know, Maureen, she's so awesome. And she's three numbers into the show.

She turns to Brandon and goes, Brandon, are they Asian? The serpent store. All the logos. And I told Nimpi that and she goes, you know what? I blame Plastique in that blonde fucking wig. But I was taking videos of Plastique during the show being like, I want to send this to Katia so bad. Oh no, she'll end it all.

Because when Katta sees a drag queen like Plastique, she goes like, I should never try to put in drag again. Girl, same. But I never feel like that way. I see Plastique and I go twin. And that is why we all love you. Because you believe in yourself more than anything else. I really do. I do. So we both recently

Wait, not recently, it was like a year ago. We did the show with Chablerone. Yeah, that was a while ago. That must have been like a year ago. Oh, it was because I was in Chicago. I'm doing the same pageant again this year. Yes. I almost missed my flight.

I fully missed my flight and then had to get on a second flight and set at the very back of the plane. So I landed at LAX and drove straight to the stadium. Yeah, where was that? It was in Pasadena. Pasadena. But it was like outside. Yes, yes, yes.

That was fun, though. That was really fun. That was really fun. And also the way they just take care. I mean, your tent was beautiful. Oh my God. It was like a yurt. It was, yeah.

And then when girls come in here. Like you took it out of my train. I was like, we had our trailer over in the corner, but when you invited us in there, we were both like, oh. Oh, yeah. I was like this is like, it was like the size of a huge classroom. It was like two of these, three of these. And there was so much food and booze. I was like, I was like, get that.

I was like they had one handle in there for meatball. Was that gone yesterday? Get her in here. Listen, I got to say, we were sharing our little trailer with two trans girls and they can definitely out drink me. Okay. Yes. And everyone knows that about trans people. There's two drag quiz and two trans girls over there with one bottle.

What are they going to do? You went, what do you want, red or white? And I was like, just give me the white. The whole bottle. Just take it. You're like, I'm not having it. Just take it. So since you've collected her as an affinity stone, what other lesbian icons would you want to do drag in their show?

Okay. I would love to do an Ellen DeGeneres show. Okay. I think she's well liked again. Everyone wants to be around her. I would know that the audience would be hand-selected people that are into people with bad behavior.

Oh, Rosie's in Rocky Horror now, and I'm so jealous. She's playing the narrator, the criminologist. Rosie O'Donnell? Yes, they just announced her on Broadway. I know. It'd be so cunt to be in that. Oh, God, that would be amazing. Sherry-Rena Scott is in it, too. Did you just go? Did you see it yet? No, girl, I don't go to New York. You don't like it there?

It's too far. It is a six-hour flying. You're going to Japan. You might as well. You get there. It's a shithole. It's a shithole. Everyone's unhappy and they look you dead in the eyes and say, I love being a New Yorker. And you go, okay, girl, and you fly away and don't come back. That's what I do.

What is? People are still, the New Yorkers are still anti-L.A. to a degree that I don't get because I'm like, but my quality of life is, I have a... I was like, all these New York queens, ask me where Bob, Bianca, Monet, ask me where all these people move to, bitch. I'll tell you what, not Queens. Okay, okay. Get her, Jake.

And also I was just like, I don't know. It is lovely, great culture, exciting. But the quality of life is so poor. It makes me think of like, when you're like, are you sure? It's like hard to live here. It's like hot and the train and dirty and smell. And the people, they remind me of like, they remind me of a, in bridesmaids. And she's like, in fact, I'm actually hungry.

And she eats that almond. That's what they feel like being like, I love my apartment. Well, I've lived in New York for eight years. You did. Yes. What are you think of it? I had to get out. By my eighth year, I was like on a subway.

Well, they ran you out of town. Well, yeah. They said, get your big fat body out of here. Right. Well, I was on a subway and I was having a panic attack. And I was truly like, I'm underground and on top of me as people walking on the street and on top of them are buildings. And on each building, there's like 80 floors of people. Like that was the thought process.

And I was like, it could all come down tomorrow, 9-11. And I decided to get out of there. And like within two weeks I had moved to L.A. 9-11, which is the launch date of Alaska's new album. the brunette album. And she's brunette now. And she's brunette now, thank God. Give it up to mom. Leave some blonde wigs for the rest of us, please. Well, my favorite quote from you is, I didn't do drag to be a brunette. I didn't. And neither did I. Well, I look red now. I'm into red. Oh, you look good in red. Yeah.

You do kind of, like, Rihanna Red, too, that, like, red, yeah, yeah. Well, he do orange, kind of. Whatever Fina's got in that bag of wigs at her house, I just kind of, I'll text her two days before and be like, I need a wig. What do you got? And she's like, I'll just find something and she'll just send me pictures of wigs. I just did a shoot with Jinks and Jinks sent her wig to Fina to get reset for the day before and it was not only like it arrived like the

day before it was completely the wrong color like light washed out like carrot orange blonde so Fina dyed it Fina was like I never died a human hair wig before I guess and it was it was great but it was just funny because she could do anything I was like Fina you'll be okay I gotta ask you what is the grossest thing you've put in your mouth

at fat slut it says eaten but I'm gonna say put in your mouth Is it a sex thing? Is it a food thing? I think it was a pickle out of someone's butt. Or, oh, one time, sorry about the poop mop. But one time I made a jello. No, it was in Tokyo.

We did a fat slut in Tokyo. And I had someone else. You did a fat slut in Tokyo? Yeah, the isotope lounge. Yeah, baby. Biggest gay bar in Tokyo. And I did that. I've never even been to Asia.

Oh, it was, you have to go to Japan. It's absolutely incredible. It's the best, cleanest, nicest city. People kept walking up to me and Big Dipper and just grabbing us and going so big. You are lying. No, I'm not. And then we went to a sumo show and they saw us and they were like, come down here.

And they made Dipper pick up one of the big sumo wrestlers because we're like huge compared to the people over there. And Dippers, I'm taller than him, so I look like a big fat job. I'm just kind of like, bad people aren't toys. Am I woke? Or did you like it? I like any attention I can get. Okay. Oh, no, but like be woke. Like, fat people, we should be objectified like that.

Like, what is that? Hi, Big. Can I lift you? Would you like to come lift something? What is that? I don't know. I thought it was funny. I wasn't there to judge their culture. You know what I mean? You know what? I think you're right. I think I'm woke but white. And that's the problem. So one of the foods the guy made was like a bunch of squids and stuff in a jello. Because I had someone else make me the jealous and he did an incredible job. And one of them was like squids. And I had like, uh, just like the, most random shit in it, and they were beautiful because he actually spent time on them. Because, you know, mine are just hot dogs and shrimp.

Yours are crazy, girl. And I, like, took the squid and was like, oh, and I just never felt anything that loose before. That just, like, gave me a chill. I think, I think seafood is sick. You don't like seafood at all? Let them live. Let them be where they live. Why are we in there? We don't need to be in there. We don't need to be in the ocean. And we don't need to be insane.

With a snorkela, I'm being like, I'm here to kill you with the fuck. Like, this is crazy. Are you denying skinny virgins at the door at slut? No, we want everybody in there. I think the thing about that's what we accept everybody. Now, when me and Big Dipper did our party called BMI, we did have a scale at the front, and when you walked in,

you got weighed, and if you were under 250 pounds, the whole room booed you. And if you're over 250 pounds, you got a free shot at the bar. Because fat people matter. So big. So big. I wish you guys had to be. a button like a sound effects board. So big. Okay, take that down. No, it's taken. Dipper's got to put that in a song.

That's crazy. Who is more famous in Japan? You or Dipper or the party, I guess. The party was, like the party itself was. That is so crazy. It was insane because I was just like, who's even going to go? And then we got there and it was like sold out, lying out the door. Were there fat people?

No, but you know what's so crazy? Is they're all so polite? That you know what, fat slut? If you can't see everyone in front of you is like, sorry fag like it's your fault you didn't get here earlier they were sitting down on the floor so that people behind them could see and so then we would like we would be like oh no you can get up you could get up and then i had a translator because a lot of people didn't even speak english so i was up there doing like kill yourself and then i would like turn and look at her and then she would say it

and then the audience would like say it back and then i'd be like what they say like it was like such a delayed thing it was so funny that is so fucking awesome and then the bar there was no rules so one person literally did an act well they just put like so many fruits inside of them and then one person did an act where they had like a five gallon bucket of lube and just poured it on themselves and then like ice skated across the stage it was so nuts that's crazy i want to go to japan you should go that's fierce girl i think you would eat over there i'm so jealous i've never even been to asia um i spent a week over there and i did nothing but eat food 7-Elevens it was so fun

oh my god i remember chichi devane used to be like girl i go to hong kong like three times a year i'm like what chich defa i know i just i guess they maybe they don't want me there i don't like that i was just in new orleans and that was my vocal stem the whole time i was it let the good times rule is that what she says and she walks out of her entrance line but it's also like the

like the motto of new orleans i'll give you one from chichi she said we were at drag race and we're there like three days and she goes, I go, how are you holding up? She goes, I miss my cat. I was like, three days. Your cat hasn't even noticed the owner's gone after three days. Mine do. Mine love me. It's different. It's different. I saw on your website that you're selling a fart in a jar.

Yes. But it is sold out. Will there be another restock? Yes, I just have to buy more jars. Okay, because the farts are kind of a renewable resource. Yeah. You fart in the jar and sell it. When the person gets it, do you think they open it? One person opened it after they had it for a year. And because I said if someone opens there, opens theirs after a long time. Just let me know if the stink still lasts.

And he goes, opened it after a year, still stanky. How do you fart in the jar? Do you just, do you have clothes on? No. You're naked. You fart naked in the jar. And you're in your living room or where you're doing this? I'm doing it in my laundry room where the jars are.

And then I will generally, if I'm like, oh, got a big shipment in, I got to eat like a bunch of teka masala, something very garlicky, a lot of Brussels sprouts, something that I really get something going. And then, you know, you take your fiber and then you just fart in the jar and close the lid real quick. I slap a sticker up my face on the front

and I put it in a box and mail it off. Okay, we got to work on your enterprise, though, because I noticed that also everything else on your website is also sold out. Fuck you. So what's going on? Sorry for being a box. What's going on?

I hated shipping it all out. I was doing it myself. It's very, don't you wish you could get one? They're all sold out. Well, a lot of them say limited edition. So leaving them up was sold out on it. It's just kind of a cunt move. But the fat slut shirts, I have them all, but I just hated, like, packaging and shipping them.

I used to ship my own. I do it all by myself because it saves you so much money. It does. And I don't like drop shipping stuff because I never know what the quality of it is going to be. And at least when I have the stuff printed and it's my own. own, I can like fold it up and mail it out and I know they're getting a quality product. Yeah. And when I used to do my own merch, I used to also, it's like you pack your drag and you have to pack your merch suitcase. And so you're going to make sure you have all the sizes.

Oh, I try with four suitcases now. I used to carry X small up to 4X. Because I'll tell you this, when there's a 4X, they're getting two shirts. Oh yeah. Because that size is 3x even. They never have that size. So when you have it, they're like, oh, I'm getting one. And I will never be like, oh, I went to Trixie and she had only medium. Like, you know what I mean? We had all of it. but you got to basically when you come home from your gig you got to unpack the whole merch suitcase recount what it is

because you do I don't know I used square at the time so I would know inventory but you still got to recount it well and then I have like a piece of paper so when I sell them at fat slut I have like the person like mark off what's there and then I recount how many is and make sure it matches it's just like a

I just don't like running a business it's very easy for one two five ten shirts to go missing it's like it's happened well I just did a fat slap in New York, and I told my assistant at the time, I was like, can you just grab me five shirts? I'm just going to throw him into the audience, but mark it off. And then I think he misunderstood and just handed me all the shirts.

So I'm sitting there, me, Kyra Jete, I can't remember who else, but we were all just throwing shirts out. And I go, damn, that seems like more than five shirts. And all of a sudden, 40 shirts gone to the audience for free. Damn. But then I didn't have to bring a heavy suitcase home. That's true. It's like you're being paid.

It's like you're saving money. Yep. So are you shadow ban on Twitter? No, just Instagram. Because we try to look you up and we can only view your profile through something that you were tagged in. It says no results for fat drag meatball. What? Are we here to expose you?

That was today too. Are we here to expose you? I think you're shadow ban. All your shit sold out. You're not on Twitter. You're in Japan. What, eating squid? That's crazy.

I knew about Instagram. Did I go check it right now? How are you here to promote yourself? I was tweeting. Okay, well, the shirts are going to be back up later today. Oh, yeah, this comes out in two weeks. Oh, the shirts will be back up, and we have a new shirt coming out. Oh, you do?

What is what it looks? Well, it's a picture of my face holding a gun and it says, get the gun. Kind of red state, if you think about it. Well, I'm from Texas. Get the gun and get the drag queens away from my kids. And love yourself. Love yourself. Yeah.

Did you ever do drag queen story hours? No, I don't want to be around kids. I don't either. You know, when all that was going on, I know, still going on. I'm here for people's freedom to do it, but we're not a monolith. I represent a lot of drag queens who don't, I don't

want to fucking read to anybody, especially not children. Well, I can't read. I'll read, I'll be porn to the blind. That's where I draw the line. I don't want to do any of that. And I, what is this? It's a snack. I'd think it'd this be a long story. Yeah, no. I've been asked to do it, but I don't want to do it. I don't like kids. And

I don't like doing brunches either. What would you mean? It's the same. I mean brunch is nice because you're done early but I'm not I just only want to perform for gays gay guys at night drunk gay guys at night drunk gay guys and lesbian who barely care about me

who only want each other they just want to kiss each other while something's happening behind them um is it still bad well you can't find it if you search it you have to look at like stuff that people responded to you

I think you're shadow band what have you done this explains why your career is completely stalled Because nobody has it stalled? I'm just kidding. I was like, wait a minute. I thought I was not still on the up and up. I'm here.

People go, is this a stall, baby? Here the bald and the beautiful. Do you know how many people had to die for you to get here? Yeah, I literally was like how many people canceled? Was it Jasmine Masters again? Oh, no. Do they know about that?

Yeah, I think we've talked about it everywhere. Well, it's fierce. It's really fierce. I have to ask you. Yeah. You have a shirt that says protect bad drag. Yeah. Who are you talking about?

Myself. And all those around us. And it was also, I was just making fun of, what was her name? Megami. That was fear. When that happened, it was for you. It was for you to spoof.

Because immediately that night, I made that number. And then performed it at Fat Slut. And then I made a t-shirt out of it. And then I sold out of those t-shirts, too. But it made me enough money that I bought a new car. And I needed one real bad. There's something to be sad.

Sorry, I'm chewing. There's something to say ever being in the moment and knowing, like, if we rush this tonight. this will be a banger of a shirt tomorrow. I sent it over to Andrew Powers from Pander's shirts. Have you ever bought anything from Pander Shirts? Oh my God, they make the best underwear too. You got to go look at him.

Yeah, Pander Shirts, and I sent it to him, and I go, can you do something with this, like, right now? And then I had the shirts ready to go and started printing and then just put them up online, like, within two days. That's like, I've done some. Oh, when I, Patty Don't Start happened. I had the shirt up the next day. That tweet immediately went.

Yeah. That was genius. Because I was like, well, this is funny, but it's going to be really funny tomorrow if there's a shirt of it. Also, I have that morphine tweet that says fuck tricks me to tell. Because, yeah, because you were rude to her in a bathroom. I guess. I was just happy to be seeing the same bathroom as her. Me too.

Because you guys are both beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful women. And people kind of think of us as the same, you know, like when you look at us, it's like who, you know, parent trap, who, you know? So I have a question. Which Boy Scout badge do you think that they should now require? Because weren't you a Boy Scout? Yeah, I'm an Eagle Scout, bitch.

Fierce. Yeah, baby. I went out into the jungle. Well, I went to the woods for a week alone. Oh, that's the Eagle Scout thing. That was mine. Our troop did that. Every time I bring it up to someone else, they're like, no, I didn't have to do that.

No, they did in Wisconsin. I heard about it. Okay. I quit before Eagle, but I do know people who did it. Mostly it was big with the homeschool kids. I wasn't homeschooled. In our area, the homeschool kids took scouting to another level. Well, because it's probably like we're learning outside stuff.

I don't need to know math. Who needs math? So yeah, I think we should get rid of... Or wait. Was it get rid of a badge? No, which badge do you think is missing? Like, the world is changing very quickly. Do you think the kids should have a robotics badge?

Coding wouldn't be bad. No, they need a dick-sucking badge because that's where I did most of my dick-sucking was at Boy Scout camp. And I really perfected the skill there. I did basket weaving, so I don't know what the fuck you were doing. Instead of Christmas trees, what should Boy Scouts sell? Do Boy Scouts sell Christmas trees? No, they sell popcorn.

Damn, Tracy. Were you good at selling popcorn? I was so good at it. Nobody wants that shit. My parents would take me to the rich neighborhood and then I would, you know. Door to door? I would go door to door and sell popcorn. You know, it's me to go door to door when I don't have neighbors.

Oh, yeah, you're on the middle of nowhere. Oh, my God, I'm going to walk two miles to my neighbor who's their vacation home. We'll see if they're here. Or my dad would do the thing where you'd take it to the office and be like, my son's selling a little popcorn if you want to. And he would kind of guilt, I think, his employees into buying stuff from us. Oh, if your boss does it, you have to buy it. You got to do it.

For the kids. For anybody in my life who has a child, especially a girl, if it's cookie time, you contact me. Let me know immediately. I will say it'll be like pretty woman. It'll be like, no, no, not pretty woman. It'll be very... You got this. I don't have no idea what you're talking about.

Use other words. It's like, how many do you have? No, you heard me. How many boxes can you get to this house? You know what I mean? I want like a thousand. That would be me. I want to make one little Girl Scout rich.

I go, so they sit out in front of my grocery store and the girl started taking a tap. So I was just like. They used to sell them and deliver them later. Now they have them set up outside. Yes. Why do they have them on hand? Why do they have them on hand? Why is that allowed?

I don't know. Popcorn. Hey, in six months, you're going to get bags, a bag of seeds. What the fuck? That is so stupid. And then the worst part about the popcorn was I would get to their house and hand it to them and they'd be like, what are you, what is this? And I was like, you ordered popcorn, see? And they're like, okay.

Like, they didn't want it. A lot of times they just wouldn't answer the door. And so I would just leave popcorn on their front steps. Boy Scouts, can I say the popcorn shit is corny. Oh, get them, girl. Can we just do crackers? We don't have to do cookies. Can we just do something else?

I don't know. Granola bars. Serial. Serial. Airplane bottles of booze. Airplane bottles, lip chap. Yeah. Contact Lund solution.

Something actually useful. Something people need. Bottled water. Cleaning supplies. Because I swear to God the markup on popcorn must be cunty. It's seeds, bitch. I don't even know how to cook loose seeds. How do you make loose popcorn?

You put it in a pot full of oil, then shake it. Pot full of grit. And then you just shake it up. That's it. And then you add butter, a little salt. You never made jiffy pop. No. have tried. We tried to make Jiffie Pop

recently. Oh, you burned three of them. Yeah. It's a row and slow game. It's a long game where you just sit there and do this. It was like this and it mean, it went from nothing to smoke coming off it in 10 seconds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And sometimes they're just poorly made. Like the bag won't expand. Some people like to eat burnt

popcorn. I like the little kernels at the end. Like the ones that are half popped. Yeah, them are nice. I like to crack a tooth. Oh, don't do it, girl. Oh, I try every day. I'm chewing on ice. You're not supposed to do that either I know, I just like hard things

I used to eat rocks as a kid Did you do anything gay when you were doing boys cutting? I sucked a bunch of dicks I used to eat rocks as a kid Eating rocks Yeah, because I like the flavor I didn't bite into them I would just swallow them whole

I'd find a nice shaped rock on a playground And I'd pick it up And I'd like give it a look It had to be smooth And I'd suck on it And then once I felt like There's enough moisture on my mouth That would just swallow it whole

I think it's that crazy I think it's like So do you poop out the rock? Yeah the rock came out One time I had worms real bad When I was a baby I used to eat sand And I got worms real bad And it came out

My mom was like it was big The worm was longer than you Because I was eating the sand like this By the handful And it's not PICA I just like eating You're like one of those dogs Who eats his own shit

Yeah Why do dogs do that? I think He pooped Oh no he's eating it Oh no he's crazy My face Yeah

Is it's it's it Did you not eat anything weird when you were a kid? Cabiar. Champagne. Diamonds. Which are rocks. Those are rocks. You famously performed as George Santos.

That was really, obviously, a major turning point in people's awareness of you, even though your shadow band in the internet. Is there anybody else in politics? Is there anybody else in politics who you think is gay? Is gay? Oh. Who is gay? Why are you gay?

Why are you gay? Uh, Erica Kirk. I think she's a hardcore lesbo. Interesting. Just based off of the... Yeah, lessee to lesi. I think it was... It's her eyeliner and her intensity

and like how she thinks she's cool, but she's not. I maintain that everyone with blue eyes is evil. Well, yes. They're up the devil. That's in the Bible. And they have the nerve... Bluebell, why have people

have the nerve just sit there like this? Well, have you seen those memes of like black people when they put blue contacts in and they just go... Maybe the memes. Are you talking about the eye color change surgeries? Because that makes me...

Those are insane. It makes me... Bricked. Did you watch the caterpillar documentary? The caterpillar documentary? Girl! Oh, where the guy got the wrong color? Yes. Oh, no. I haven't seen him, but I've heard about it. But I looked at the pictures. Girl, how did they get to that color? Girl, because he

wanted blue, and the guy next to him was getting green. And they do three eye surges at once in the same room. And he wakes up and they do one eye first. He looks in the mirror. He goes, does this look green to you? Meanwhile, it's lime wire, lime, glowing lime green. It's zombie green. It's an insane color. It's Cocoa Montrease green.

It's not of nature. It's not of nature. And then he's like, are you sure? And they're like, yeah, that's blue. The doctor's on camera being like, that's blue girl. You got this girl. And then the guy next one wakes up was like, uh, this looks green, doesn't it? And he goes like, oh.

And so he acts, no, that guy accidentally gets blue. Yeah. And so then they go, what we can do is we can take him out of his eye and your eye and we can switch it. And he was like, and they're on camera suggesting this, like doctors. You can't go get a new one? No. He flew all the way to, I believe India to get the surgery. and then so many people have complications, they lose vision.

Well, this is why I'm not getting LASIC. I'm terrified. Have you heard about like the dry eye syndrome? Your eyes don't produce water, so you're just putting eye drops in them all the time. And then everything kind of gets blurry for a while. Yeah, it's ruined people's lives. So I'm not getting nothing done to my eyes.

Well, you look great in glasses too. Thank you so much. Do you ever shave your eyebrows? I used to. Because you have these nice big frames. It probably helps if you go no eyebrows. Are you trying to, you're praying for my downfall. I feel like if you have no eyebrows and you have a big round face or eyebrows and a big round face, you're going to look like Humpty Dumpty.

No, no, no. If you do shave them off, but you wear big frames, I think it helps hide them versus no. No, I don't want to shave my eyebrows. I did it for so long and now I was, I looked insane. It's a weird lifestyle. Well, you know, what's weirder is when they'd shave and just leave like the little dot. Katia. Because like, who am I?

Who are you fooling? Oh my God. She looked like just braille. She looked like just an auror shak, like a, like a two. Yeah, what is the point of it? Ginger did it for a while? I don't know. And at that point, like, girl, just draw the whole fucking thing. I know, they're always like, I can, it helps me start my eyebrow, but it's like, just start it wherever.

Like, you know where it is. You know where it is. You have a brow bone. And why is it starting where your male one is anyway? Yeah, because mine is up here. We know what yours is. Oh, okay. Yours is up here, bitch.

And into the wig. Into the woods. Into the woods. I wish. Who are your top three favorite fat sluts? Oh. Tammy Brown. She's a big girl.

I don't know if you've seen her in a while. She'd be like, Meatball's right. Gorda. I just had to. Wouldn't that totally be her? That would be her. Is that the word for fat?

It is? That would be her. That was dead on. Gorda. Gorda. Goada. The bengabazes. Meatball is right.

Gorda. I've had her at fat slut every time I've done it in P-Town. She's incredible. Oh, that must go over really well in P-Town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I'm going back for Halloween. So this will be out by then. Oh, you mean actual fat people?

Okay. I would say Dr. Phil before he lost the weight. Okay. I would say Oprah Winfrey before she lost the weight. Okay. And I'm going to give it up to fat Christina Aguilera because she was a real bitch. Have you ever done an Oprah number? Yeah.

I was going to say you would probably smash an Oprah number. I did, you get a car, you get a car, you get a car, mixed with her bread speech, and I got a cease and desist from them. From Jenny, what is it, Jenny Craig? No, who was it? Wait, Watchers. Oh, fierce. Because I was using their audio. And they put it on YouTube.

And I was like, I guess whoever put it up monetized it. So they were like, you can't. You wonder why your shadow band? Making enemies left and right. Not with Oprah, though. But during the, you get a car part, I went to this hardware store. And I was like, you guys got any like loose keys, you know, from when you cut keys. So they gave me a whole box of just incorrectly cut keys.

So whenever I performed it, I would just take a handful of keys and just throw it at the audience. Which is absolutely insane baby. Oh, so dangerous. You're like LASIC hurts people's eyes, but I'm going to keep chucking chains. Have you ever seen a makeup tutorial? I believe the first time I did my makeup, I tried to follow the Miss Fame tutorial. that's a great place to start. And then I kind of just gave up and just did whatever.

I made a lot of mistakes. She does magic. I think she lies in hers because she's like just a smudge of this. And then there's like a cut and it's done. And I'm like, so what did you do? How did you use that brush? She does something really iconic that I've always seen her do, which is she cuts her crease with a lip pencil,

like a night moth or like a dark purple, whatever. Then blends that out so slowly. Then does like her layering process is, so, I just feel like most drag queens are like, girl, I'm not sitting here doing that. The fun of drag for me is not putting the makeup on. I know for a lot of people it is and then like looking, cunt and then just

standing. The fun of drag for me is like being a nightmare and like terrorizing a bar and then blacking out and then leaving. You're doing it, girl. Thank you. You're fucking doing it. If it's the apocalypse and you have to join... Have you ever seen a makeup tutorial, bitch? I'm trying to think of who I've really

watched a full tutorial. I don't know actually. I just don't have the, I don't like watching. I'll figure it out. I mean, sure, there was a point when my whole face used to be just bright gold because I didn't understand what bronzer was. That's fine. That's okay.

You never had a blue contact phase. No. That's good. I did. Yours were ice blue too. Oh, I'm here saying fun of other people's fake eye colors, me looking like Dawn of the Dead. Do you wear contacts now? No.

You're just over that? I just one day took them out because they were, they hurt. They always hurt me. They're irritating. And no one noticed. And I was like, I guess I don't care if no one else cares. There's some girls, I love Monet when she puts those like light green ones in. Yeah.

They look really good on her. Or like Naomi's are really good. Well, I don't know where she. Hers are getting coming from somewhere special. Bianca's are cool. They're like that ice gray thing. Oh, yeah. Candy.

Whatever that like ice blue is the girls wear. Yeah. But I just don't think it works for me. Katia has blue eyes and I always wonder why she didn't wear something to like maybe enhance the blue a little bit in drag. Because she's a woman. She's trans. and everyone knows it.

And we've all been talking about it and no one wants to speak on it. I know she's on her break. What if she just comes back here with tins and a pussy? She's like, bet you knew. You think she would go do that without telling everybody?

Her secret? Her secret. That's what she was actually getting her bottom surgery when she was complaining about having poop problems or whatever last time. She's getting a dick.

Thank God. So it's the apocalypse and you have to join these groups to survive. Are you joining the twinks, the muscle daddies or the pups. Ooh, muscle daddies.

Because they seem like they would know how to build. I could become their queen or court jester. I would do the entertainment and the cooking. The pups, they're going to want to just yiff all day. And their neoprene starts to smell after a while, and that's something I can't deal with. And the twinks, they're not going to get up to anything but fucking each other. I love the pup people.

I love them, too. I love it. Have you been to Howl at Precinct? No, the lights and sound guy at Precinct When I DJ is usually in the pup mask And I always feel so cool being like You're a dog I'm a cross-dresser

We're just like We're of the same ill It feels like like we're off to see you the wizard I don't know Like what about There's a dog There's a queen There's a bear

Right It's like we're off to see It's very I don't know Gummy bears Like we're all doing like I don't know He's great

I love him I do too Have you been to the... How old no, I haven't been? And how do you feel about the furry community? Are they on the same level as pups? If I have to play favorites, I love the pups. I think that whole performance is fun.

But the furries, it is very epic, the big costumes and stuff. When they take over... I just love when I see videos of them like taking over a full hotel, walking by a family with their kids. The furries, to me, seem less sexual. The pups, it seems like it's really about sex.

I couldn't tell you. I'm not in either. But I think that the pups like roll around with each other a lot more And like arf arf at each other They'd be sniffing butts and everything? Yeah, yeah, they put down a playpin And then they throw a bunch of dog toys in it And then they roll around in it

Love that doesn't hurt anybody It's not we're not hurting nobody Eating pickles out of people's asses And that's not hurting anybody but myself Thank you And I've been trying to die for a damn year now I got hit by a car on my motorcycle Five months ago

No you didn't Yes, I did You never believe me when I told you these insane things that happened to me. Well, that's like the time, remember when you were really into bird scooters, then you fell off? No, I ran into a tree. Oh. Did that really happen?

Yes. So wait a minute. You were on a motorcycle? And I fractured my wrist. I have a motorcycle. Actually, I get it fixed right near here. You have a motorcycle. Yes, because of the give it up for our trans community.

And then I waved and I was riding on a motorcycle at pride that one time, that viral video. Oh, how people struggle to be interesting in drag. And you haven't said one thing that isn't awesome since you've been here. Sorry. Every sequel story you've told is like the coolest thing that could happen to one person once. And you're like, oh, girl, that was Tuesday. I'm trying to die. I'm not here for long.

I mean, he pickles out of asses. I'm getting hit. I'm getting hit. I said I wasn't going to make it past 35. No, I said I wasn't going to make it past 32. I'm now 37. I lied about my age earlier. Right.

I'm trying to die, Trixie. I know. There's not much left for me to do. So I got hit by a car and she drove away. On a motorcycle. Did you get knocked off the motorcycle? I got knocked off the motorcycle in front of a children's birthday party in Elysian Park.

Are you injured? It was five months ago, I'm fine. My wrist was going cleat for a little bit, but it's fine now. And then I, we suitor, it's fine. And so I'm lying on the ground in front of this children's birthday party. They're all screaming and crying. Their parents are rushing over to me being like, are you okay? And then we're like, we got a picture of her car,

we got a picture of her car. And I was like, I just want to get out of here. And they're like, why don't we take you around the corner so the kids will stop crying? Isn't that nuts? I mean, I don't want to... Did you have a helmet on? Yeah.

Oh, thank God. I was like a full gear. What the fuck? Who are you? I joined a gay motorcycle group and they were going 80 on the highway and I said, ah, this is scary. So I just pulled off and rode my mic home the other day. Because they were going 80 on the highway.

Girl, can I tell you, I drive in Los Angeles and I drive the speed limit? People are about ready to run me off the road. People are beeping. I'm getting the finger because it's 65 and I'm going 65. It's crazy. Well, you got to go at least 10 over. I just think that's... Coanga Pass. People die there every day.

Oh, well, that's crazy. Yes, I'm like, why do we have to risk our lives? I think you should be allowed to go to the speed limit. I'm in the right lane. I'm like, it's not even like I'm the slow person off. You're not doing. Yeah. You know where I'm going to do drag

is like, if we don't get there, it's curtains. I'll be late. I'll be five minutes late, whatever. Who cares? What are they going to do? You're never late, though. You're always super early to everything. Well, thank you.

You hire a lot of drag queens. Do you have girls? Do you feel like, no, she was late once she's done or she was a bitch once she's done? Like, what are the behaviors that people? If they are, if they are overly late. Like, I understand a girl being like, I'm outside, I'm looking for parking.

That's one thing. But if I booked you for Act 1 and I said, get there at 10 o'clock and you show up at 11 and you're like, I'm sorry, something happened. And there's not like a valid excuse, then you're probably not getting booked again. And if you're rude and messy in the dressing room, I won't book you again.

Do what do you think about friends in the dressing room? People. I'm against it. I'm against it too. strongly against it. It better be like your legal husband. Not even that. It better be somebody who works for you.

Yeah. And I think you can have one dresser, but if I'm having my assistant or a stage manager backstage, they can help dress you if it's a zipper, unless it's something overly complicated. But just having people in the room to yap, I hate, unless the show is over and it's 3 a.m.

And everyone's been kicked out of the bar. Like that group of five people can maybe come back there if they're chill. I feel the same way. I don't like anybody in the dressing room. I don't like music in the dressing room. I'm like, it should be calm and clean. Yeah.

So we can be gross over there. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, I absolutely. And I will, if someone's been in there too long or like one time I had to kick this drag queen out because she was in the show before mine. And I was like, yeah, I get that. But now you're not in this one. So you got to get out.

And I gave her so many hints and she wouldn't. So I finally like had the security come get her. I'm like not above that. Getting security to get a drag queen out of a bar. Well, yeah, because you're trying to have a fun time, but people also kind of will just abuse it. Yeah. And you guys have go-goes and stuff with their real money, their real wallets and purses and phones. It's like...

I wanted to feel safe for the queens that are in the room, but also like safe for me to, like, say horrendous shit to them backstage. And also, what if you, like, are changing and naked and what if there's a lot of what-ifs of like, I need my moment back here to breathe for a second. And if I'm back here, it's for a breather. Yeah. It's not so that I come back here and there's another party. Yeah, because that's my favorite thing. Thing is to, like, hide in the dressing room. Absolutely.

If it's, like, getting crazy out there and I just need, like, a moment to recoup because I'm overwhelmed or overstimulated. I just like to sit back there, hit my vape, and text. Oh, yeah. When I come, I never go back to the dressing room in precinct unless I genuinely know somebody in there. Usually, Fina. Or you?

You have a... Or I walk to the DJ booth. Yeah, you just go stand up in the DJ booth. Yeah. I usually just go in the DJ booth. And that's why I'll tell people, like, like, friends and stuff, I'll be like, go up to the DJ booth. We've recently kind of implemented.

like a little roped off side on the side for like my friends to go stand in so they can come in and out of the dressing room. I've seen that yes. That's nice though. Yeah. Why do you think Precinct has such good breakfast food? Oh my God, that brunch we went to. That brunch is not a joke. And it was the vegan chorizo rap, but they stopped doing the brunches. They're not

even doing them anymore. It's so sad. But I think it's because... I mean, all the food at Precinct is good, but I was like, not the brunch food being amazing. Girl, I was there last night. They ran out of the chicken tenders on chicken tender Tuesday. Which is crazy because That's what they sell it at. I love precinct.

I love precinct. Shout out to precinct. I mean, I'd be nothing without you precinct. It's true. Well, that was the only bar that I was performing at. Well, I did all the competitions in WeHo when I started, but none of the girls, I never won anything. And none of the girls really liked me over there. I saw you once at Red Line.

Is that right? Downtown? Maybe. It doesn't exist anymore. Oh, me and Pinchet. I saw you in Pinchay. Dallas now, but yeah, Pinchet. Oh, really?

Change her name? Change your name. Oh, I didn't know that. I was there. I came to me in Orville Peck there. It was for, I think you and PG. Oh, no, I was just there because Orville was like, you should come. And then Dallas was hosting her show.

Oh, it was her show. And Orville kept going, why don't you just go up there and do a little number? And I was like, she won't let me. She won't let me do a number at her show in front of Cameron Diaz. Yeah, she wouldn't let you do a number. She wouldn't let me do a number? That was a nice little bar. I've only been the ones.

It's closed now. It's now Kiso, which is like a little closer to precinct. Have you been the Kiso? No. It's cute. It's like a, it's got like two bars in it. It's like a long runway. They do a lot of, they do, look up the party, do not disturb.

It's a fun time. Your current favorite gay bars in Los Angeles, obviously precinct is at the top of the list. Precinct. The Eagle. I haven't been there in so long. And then. I was just there last weekend, like a pig.

Were you? I went to like every gay bar in the city last weekend. I was hung over all weekend. The type of thing where you're hung up all day and you finally get up to shower, but to go back out. Disgusting. I guess on Saturday I was there. but I don't really remember.

The last thing I remember was getting pizza in WeHo. We saw each other at Eagle. When? I'm just remembering this. You walked in and I gave you a hug. At the Eagle? We were there Saturday. Well, you left early.

You were turned. Oh, yeah. Allegedly I was... You were slurring. Apparently I was like wasted, wasted. I don't really remember. Yeah, you were slurring. I've never heard you slur before.

I just want to say not to make you an alky, but for you to be slurring, I'm like, damn. And it was like 10 o'clock. Well, I had been drinking since 3 o'clock. Bears. Because I went to go to support my friend at a show at the Abbey. And so then we got pizza and then we went to the Eagle. And I was like, girls, I don't know if I could even be here.

And I vaguely remember, everyone was like, no, you left after like 20 minutes. And apparently I was like fingering people out on the bag. So I was told the least that I think you should go. Yeah. It was meat rack. It was meat rack. The party was meat rack. All I remember is I woke up with.

Sam Wheat. With Del Taco in my bed. Oh my God. Lately, I... That's horrible. I've never had Del Taco. You're not better than me? It's definitely better than Taco Bell.

No, I'm not saying I'm better at you. No, you're not, though. No, but no one was saying it. But I love... But what I was saying was... Okay, you go. I love... I love Taco Bell.

Is it... How does it compare to Taco Bell Del Taco? It feels like, I don't know if this is even the right word, but like realer food. Like, it feels like the meat isn't... like, you know, the Taco Bell meat is like crumbles and wet. See, I don't eat, oh, you don't need meat. So I get the veggie items at Taco Bowl because they have a lot of veggie items. Oh, well, the bean and cheese burrito at Del Taco is what I go for.

Are you serious? Yeah. I'm going to get that because there's one right by Akbar. Yeah. And that's, I guess that was one of my stops on the way home. Bears. Long walk home. She went, you know I got lost on the way here today?

From Hollywood. Oh, is this? This is a new studio. And I don't want to put the address in because I'm like, I know where it is. I made it to like almost the CVS, and most Hollywood was like, I missed it. This is my second time here.

And literally this time was the first time I came from, I think the right direction and like didn't pass it. And all right as I went by, I was like, oh, that's the shop that I got my motorcycle fixed at. Like I was like, I know where this is. Yeah. But no. No.

Guess not. Well, will you tell the kids at home where they can find you? Obviously not on Twitter. Bye. Listen, it's supposed to be fat drag meatball on Twitter. Guess you can't find me there. You got to type in at Spiciest Meatball on Instagram, and you got to do the whole thing.

And if you can't spell Spicest, please don't follow me. And go to Fat Slet, L.A. on Instagram as well, or sloppy pod on Instagram as well. Oh, yeah, we're going to do a bald scenario. So we're doing this thing while Katz is gone, where we have this bald cap full of a bunch of suggestions, and you're going to pull one out, and you're going to tell us what we do in this scenario.

As a bald person. Think like Big Dipper Your non-binary hairstylist Cut your bangs a centimeter too short Do you say anything? I believe as a bald person I would not have bangs? This was a true question to see if you're an ally To our community and you are

Thank you. Thank you. Let me rub your bald head. Only a true ally would know that. Thank you. Or is it like bald? Is it hair affirming? If you're a ball, okay, if you're a hairdresser and a bald person comes in

is like a little bit off the top, are you like Snip, snip. You gotta play along. You gotta live their fantasy. Like when I wear my fake mustache. And I make everyone pretend like it's real. I think that's fine. Why don't you just grow one?

I physically can't look. This is two weeks of growth. Oh shit. Okay, damn. I mean, I can't grow that. I feel like we have a similar... I can't grow anything like that. I can't.

I can't even grow what you off here. This is patchy too. I have to shave it off tomorrow. You should get out. Bye. Bye.