The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Microphones Are Cameras for Sound with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: July 25, 2023

Dynamic microphones are constructed with small magnets that oscillate inside a metal coil attached to the diaphragm. When a sound wave causes the diaphragm of the microphone to vibrate, the relative motion of the magnet and coil creates an electrical signal by magnetic induction. From this magical, fantastical process, we arrive at the auditory eargasm that is The Bald and the Beautiful. Need we say more? We need not. Check out https://Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://Betterhelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self! Get Factor and enjoy eating well without the hassle! Head to https://FactorMeals.com/BALD50 code BALD50 to get 50% off! Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To order your copy of our latest book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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We were meant to film at the normal studio. Yes. But it burned down. It didn't burn down, but it might as well have because Friday I was in there. I forget what I was doing. And I walked in, the air wasn't on. And I walked up to the thing and it said the air was on. And I walked up to the vent in the wall, put my hand up to it, took my temperature gun,

which I own. You have a temperature gun? Honey, yes I do. You know who bought it for me, ironically? RuPaul? No, no, I think, oh, I think I got it as a gift from an executive producer at Drag Race. That makes a lot of sense.

He was like, here, this is what we use on Drag Race to make sure the air is right before Ru comes in. So they got me one. It's like the police force with their firearms. I thought it was a stun gun. Or it looks like a breathalyzer or something. I mean, it looks like a gun up until where the barrel would be. And then it's flat with a display. Is that what they do your temperature with?

The COVID temperature. So it's all kind of. Yeah. Someday we're all going to. COVID is real. Yes, it is. And we'll stop it right there. Someday we're all gonna, I'm not. COVID is real. Yes, it is. And we'll stop it right there.

But at some point we're gonna look back on some of these practices and we're gonna go, was that real? Well, right. Was that temperature gun real? You know what I mean? I think we're gonna do the same thing with TSA perhaps. I hope one comes sooner than the other.

I can handle another COVID. I can't handle another frisk from TSA, okay? TSA, TSA, The ultimate drag pageant. Bring me 9 and 12. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I mean,

I just watched Get Out recently and the hero, you know, the, the, the super, super funny supporting actor

works for TSA and it's a big like, or anything. It's like, I work for TSA and it's like very pro TSA for some strange reason. But I love that.

Yeah. Also his little Jeffrey Dahmer monologue. I don't know if you remember is pissed your pants funny. Oh, he's so funny. He's so, so funny. By the way, got to do the whole movie from probably one set and probably shot it all in one, two days. Probably his apartment.

Yeah. We're bad for not knowing the actor's name, but he's also with it. It's so... I watched my brother. How hilarious. Steals the scenes that he's not even in with other people. I know. It's so good. Yeah, he's on the phone the whole time.

By the way, when you are auditioning and they go, your character's TSA, but like weirdly proud of it. That's all you need to know. That's high comedy. I think it was just... I think probably because it's like TSA is like many black folks work at that job. Oh yeah i mean i guess that's a good thing because that means that they so far don't seem um racist in the way they hire yeah also they were it was pro tsa anti-cop because he goes to the cops and the cops make a fool out of him so actually he's pretty

fierce because i i've heard people say that TSA is racist, of course, like profiling people. But I don't know if the hiring process is. Because I do see all ages. Oh, yeah. All genders. All genders. All everyone at the TSA.

Everybody is making their life a living out at the airport. It's like when you're a kid and there's that picture of the globe and people in all different outfits holding hands. That's what the TSA is. It's like. They're like, put your fucking shoes in that box. And do you have a laptop?

You have a fucking laptop water in your bag. You bitch. Yeah. Get that water. You fucking bitch. They pull that water out of your bag and they go like, it's a dildo. My name is Osama bin Laden.

Sorry. It's a shit stain dildo. Like the shame. It might as well be. I know. It might as well be. I know. The best part is Brandon will do,

Brandon, who I love, my assistant. Love, love. He's not here. Love. Brandon will proactively put waters and juices and snacks in my backpack. Like if we're going to the airport in case we want food or something. Okay. And I won't know.

So sometimes I'll be at tsa and they'll be like you got a water in here i'm like no i do not you got a 12 pack of evian girl they pull out something like and they just look at me and i go and they go my assistant must have put in there and they're like sure okay your assistant yeah is he in the room is he in the room with us now by the way um well tsa was bred by the tragic events of 9-11 right i mean because i don't remember tsa pre that bread bread get bread got bread by 9-11 i got bread by 9-11 is it too early for a break okay we'll keep going i saw a tweet i saw a tweet that was like people in their people who covet hit in their early mid-20s now are had a very traumatic experience at a time where they're supposed to be developing like their major like identity you know mid-20s finding your tribe

going to bars for the first time oh yeah and said, now that these people are being released into the wild, they're expected to function and work and exist without those traditionally formative experiences, in a way, at that time in their life. And then somebody else tweeted, oh, girl, but there's been a traumatic event every 10 years that has affected every generation. They were like, we had 9-11. And I was like, 9-11 was traumatic. Not COVID level. No. Not shut down your life level. For a year. generation they were like we had 9-11 and i was like 9-11 was traumatic but not covid level no also not shut down your life level for a year a year more not staying at home with your crack addict mom yeah or you know what i mean on zoom like going through puberty on zoom honey house party remember the house party app wait house party house party? Girl, it was like, first of all, I installed it.

Now it automatically opens in all my browsers, which I don't know how to fix. House party? Yes. No, it's like you log in and it was like Zoom before Zoom where you could, your house party link of your like house, I think. Anybody could join at any time. So you could be like, oh, someone's at your door. And then it's like your friends wanting to hang out at your house, which is just like a Zoom. Girl, I don't work there. Corny. corny where i do work is zoom zoom zoom is it let's roll the ad i don't have the energy for it so let's roll the ad

also i uh yoga yoga studios i'm so sorry hot drink no coaster a freshly oiled table murphy is this murphy i'm gonna check and if it's not Murphy, I'm leaving. Smell that. Oh, I wouldn't do that. That is not Murphy. I wouldn't have done that. I wouldn't have done that if I were ye. Stay tuned for 20 minutes into...

I'm fine. Freshly oiled. Can I tell you about Ms. Table? Yeah. So she has two little sisters right behind you. Extensions, if you will. She goes, if you take a look, just take a look right to your left. See extension number one and two.

No, there's two extensions. She goes very long. If you want to have a very, like a 25 person dinner, of course, I would never do such a thing. Well, you could hug this out from the, you normally hug this up from the wall. Hug it out? Like, sorry, you take it away from the wall normally. No, I love it against the wall. But why would you put chairs here then?

Exactly. Who's getting in there? Well, in case I need to hug it away from the wall. That's for Ozempic and Manjaro. Ozempic, Wangobi, Manjaro. All right. No more sorrow. Every single person, this is number five on my list.

Every single person we know or have ever known is on Ozempic. A hundred percent. I just ran into somebody who I've done several television shows with. I won't tell their business. And I said, oh my God, we live in LA. We live in entertainment. She looked really trim. And I said, you look beautiful.

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And you know what I'm talking about, right? Yes, I do. Yeah. Imagine her being like, oh, yeah, I did. Of course I did. Yeah, girl. And I'm on heroin. And she's like, oh, yeah, I did.

And she looked great, I guess. But does she look great or does she look super, super skinny? Or is that great? I guess if it's helping you manage your appetite and you're like drinking water, eating healthy, exercising, you will look great. But if you're just taking that and withering away,

that window of looking great turns into a window of looking scary. Vanderpump told me last week that I look too thin. I don't know about that. You look very, you look very trim. Thank God. Very trim I was writing to Sam

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So I hate to sell vodka And then have everyone Tell me I look great I look from not drinking You can sell vodka Listen it's not It's just not for you At the current time

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See what you can achieve at ymcagta.org. This will be the day. I couldn't bring myself to watch the talent show that we're talking about on Drive. Honey, I thought about rolling it in here with like a MacBook 2012. Plugging it in. Plugging it in. Plugging it in. Like the teachers do on the stand. Yeah, but I couldn't watch it with the sound again.

I couldn't watch it as it is. I would have to put on like, I don't know. What's that annoying song? As it was. I'm at a payphone. Yeah, something like that. Maroon 5. I'd have to put on something.

Yeah. So we could just watch clips of it because I, you know what? Full disclosure, I watched this talent show because David watched it. I've never seen a talent show at the end of the season. Me neither. Was James Mansfield in it? Yes. And she was incredible.

Yeah, I saw hers. I was like, that's fun. She's funny. Without calling out anyone in particular, there was some highs and lows. Yeah. My fave was James. We won't talk about anyone else. No.

But David also looks at me and goes, yeah, you played an auto harp during your talent show. So, and I was like, you're right. Here's the thing. That's actually a talent. Also, gone in 60 seconds is what they're doing up there. I know. 60 seconds?

Peaches Christ? Friend of the pod? tell her you're alone hello this thing girl i'm in the middle of filming bald and the beautiful with katya i put you on speaker phone say hi oh my god hi katya hi peaches i think about you every day oh my god i masturbate thinking about you oh i wish I could get hard. Can I call you later? I couldn't not pick up because of having a celebrity on the, on the pod is so fun. Oh, wonderful.

Thank you. Well, um, yes, please call me back. Okay. Bye. Bye. I won't. Um, I'm sorry. That interrupted my, I was saying, Oh, David was like, I was like, this is crazy.

Why are these people doing these weird talents? And David was like, you played auto harp. And I was like, that is a hundred percent fair. Okay. So I have no And David was like, you played auto harp. And I was like, that is 100% fair. So I have no room to make fun of anyone's talent. It's fair, but it's also a talent. A talent is a skill that is honed over time. Is it exciting? It's not cool.

No. But it's a talent. Is it amazing? No, but it's a talent. I would struggle because I don't have much talent show talent. You did a talent show. I did a fucking straddle press handstand. Mary, that's what I did. I did level one show. I did a fucking straddle press handstand. Mary, that's what I did.

I did level one gymnastics. I did level one gymnastics. But it's fine. How many 40-year-old men you know who can do that? I was 38 at the time. No, I just think I'm sick of drag race.

Well, it's not drag race, but I'm sick of drag queens being humiliated on television. We already don't have, like, you know what I mean? It's like, let's show the good stuff. Let them shine. But we also should encourage them to show their good stuff.

They just don't have anything good. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Talent shows are weird. I don't like it. Not in 60 seconds. To be honest, I'm going to mention, let's say somebody like, I don't know, if you're

a drag queen who's an incredible celebrity illusionist or a lip syncer and then the talent show prohibits you from doing a celebrity illusion or a lip sync to a popular song coco montrese has been taken away from you coco montrese yeah coco that was so that talent was see people that was ahead of its time it actually was ahead of it was past its prime but also ahead of its time. It's actually the only one that for me completely holds up. And in fact, matures over time. It's a classic. It's a classic. It's a silent film.

Bah, boo, bah, boo, bah, boo. Much like the train, the first film, you know, the train moving, the first motion picture that really freaked people out. Yes. That was Kokomon Trees. Very boring. You guys don't know, we've been talking about Celine Dion.

I do it now actually, if I have to say any, before that thing we did, the voiceover. Yeah, you did. Bro, bro, bro. Yeah. Very boring. Very, very boring. God, I love her. Well, here we are again what that accent canadian i don't drink milk because the mucus i can't do the accent so what is it like so i say to him i would like to

sing a song yes by the way did you know that my Will Go On? I could be wrong about this. Don't Google it. I heard that the version of My Heart Will Go On that is recorded is her demo version she did in like the sound booth in her house. Like just saying it once so that they had a demo version. And then they were like, it's flawless. How can that be? Because it's her. But she has flawless music equipment in her house?

Like you can have like an isolation booth for just voice. Like Sia has like in her house just a thing for just voice oh my my friend the horn player has a soundproof little closet where he does his horn you could do that here god forbid god forbid i would make wow sending me crystal clear yeah vocal renditions wait you better believe oh you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to have Vigiletti isolate that as a sample and just make a four-minute clip of it. Over and over.

Or you can better stretch it. I think that should be the chorus of my new club banger. If you ever do drag racing again, can you do that song? That would be my talent. Lip syncing for 60 seconds to that. Yeah, get booted off right away. Okay, so I got big news in the household. I got an Alexa because I forget why.

And she speaks French. You didn't tell people where we are. Oh my God, we're in my house. Which is? The address is? Yeah, it is. 3469 Bryn Mawr Lane. No, we're here.

So we've got Coyotes over here. The Shade Store. The Shade Store. Yes, of course. Do you like those blinds? I love them. You know. Okay.

All right. Well, we're moving on. So I never, I'm'm being, not being funny. And I say this about my own house. Why choose Venetians over fabric ever? Oh, I don't like that. You don't. Okay. Yeah. Because the wood. Yeah. The sumptuous mahogany. Sumptuous mahogany woodwork. Because look at the wood. I get it. No, I get it. I don't at all. We have these exact same ones in my house. So you hate them. No. You hate my house? Literally the same. So why did you come here?

You come in here, disrespect my house, 20 minutes into the pod. Oh, no. Wait, wait. Hold on. And then, so another fun, fun development is this. I mean, I could do it with Alexa, but I don't want to. We are bald. I know.

I know, I know, I know. I know. Hold on. What's going on there? Do you know how much harder this would be? Wow. Do you know what I'm talking about like that? The red light special. It's beautiful.

For the trade? For me. Oh. When I do my stunts and shows. So also for the non-trade. My stunts and shows. For no one. For nobody.

Girl, you living alone up here honey i bet it's a i bet it's a it's i bet it's a one person sitcom i have been doing um well of course i do my sanskrit screaming yeah and then i do um i've been doing a lot of clapping uh-huh a lot of clapping especially downstairs in the gym and it's like um it's like an energy thing and if i'm feeling it with the song i'll start clapping just clap i do the same thing when i'm when i'm running you clap if i'm if i need to if i need to like take a few deep breaths and like i love the song but i need to level up my pussy while i'm running i'll be like i'm running clapping yes your. Your own hype man. Yes.

Running lip syncing sometimes. No, I'm not lip syncing actually. Well, yeah. I mean, yeah. Running is crazy. Yeah. But clapping, your arms are free. I mean, you're doing this, but you can.

So I get that because it does, especially in a workout, it makes your energy like, all right, bitch. No, we're doing this. Five, six, five, six, seven, eight. And then just pop into a handstand. 100%. Yeah. So I went and got Botox yesterday

The nurse told me about this woman who gets cool sculpting and she pissed the bed Because of unrelated, um, not illness not incontinence But wanting it. Um, well, let's just say she was not overly or at all apologetic She simply pulled up her trousers and said i peed a 35 minute procedure bed meaning the one on the spa not her own bed oh yeah yeah yeah yeah the spa and were you also in the bed i was in the bed with her she was peeing on me and it was you i wasn't a girl also it was No, but it's the cool sculpting, 35-minute procedure or something. You don't seem like you think it works.

Mama, I don't know anything about it. And also, I know it's snake oil. And shouldn't, don't. Cool sculpting? Is this like ice? Are we in like Minnesota in the winter doing like shaved ice? What I understand is that they freeze fat cells and kill them so your body expels them like waste i think that's crazy but that's just me anyway lipo's crazy um i don't think it's crazy

i think it's severe yeah but i would i think it's crazy or is her peeing the bed and lifting up her trout like her pants at the end saying i peed no one noticed that there was p no they noticed she said i peed and she she indicated that she has done it before oh the gall one time i got botox it's not my normal guy because you know i go to yeah skincare whiz ross ross callahan ross callahan at next health on Sunset Boulevard. At skincare. Padam. Padam.

Padam. I feel it and I know. Yeah. And he one time wasn't available. So I went down somewhere else down the street. It was fine. The guy was nice, whatever. Much more painful than Ross.

Much more painful. For what? Botox. Botox is painful? It was before we started our American tour. It was this time. It had never really been painful with Ross, except when they do here because it's like no fat cells. It's just your scalp. You go all the way up there, huh?

Yeah, because my forehead goes on forever. Oh. So. Mine's like butterfly kisses. This guy not only was hurting the shit out of me, but he. Did he touch you? He mentioned like, listen, I know a lot of the drag queens. I used to party with all the girls.

And he kind of alluded that like, oh oh i used to partina with the girls and professional and then mentioned the girls he used to let's just say some of the dolls he used to doctor up were not faces i would reference if i worked on faces okay darling not exactly the portfolio i would bring to the interview right fuck that's okay a that's doctor patient confidentiality it's also a breach on that person like yeah i don't like that yeah i hate that don't tell me about your other patients don't tell me stuff that we shouldn't know about no i don't know what about the urine though uh isn't that also a breach no names no no no names okay see i got names no i didn't say her name or the client's name but that woman out there she knows what she did yeah she pissed that bed she knows what she

did she knows what she hears about you know what though it's impossible for us to talk about anyone anymore without them finding out about it i know i know you guys don't like bag booking but the people who listen to this also at tweet people when we talk about that i know oh yeah uh for good for better or for worse. I thank God. I think the last thing I would think Philip McCarty was name dropped

in a recent podcast and I'd like my heart sank because I thought I was like, I talked shit about him. I know. Of course I didn't. He's wonderful.

But yeah, like it gets around. Oh yeah. Now that I said James Mansfield was my favorite talent show. We're going to get a text from Kasia Davis saying

Jimbo's outside with a submachine gun. A hundred percent. Yeah. Wait, they all did a talent show? It was the last episode for the top two And all the eliminated girls

Had to come back and do a talent show Oh that's scam likely Why? There's a top two now for the first time ever It's not a top three or four Which is great because when there's like a top six I say girl give it up Good god girl give it up

Edit the pages Clip the coupons There's like a top six. Girl. I say, girl, give it up. Give it up. Girl, good God, girl, give it up. Get a grip. Edit the pages. Clip the coupons. Let the girls go. Is it a competition or an extended stay Marriott? Let them go. Is it a summer retreat with Lady Gaga? I've said, and it's like, top three is a good number.

Three is a good number. Yeah, because you got this one, you got that one, you got the other one. Four is overly generous. Four is... No, four is there's one girl who's clearly not in the running. You know what I mean? Yes. Five is rabies.

My brain is being liquefied. Oh, and six is just like... Decision making is off. Gay pride. I don't think they've ever done six, but I think they have done a top five. I think they've done a five. Top five.

Four is crazy. How about this, though? Four is crazy. Four is nuts, because there's a top three. You think they've done a five. Top four. Four is crazy. How about this though? Four is crazy. Four is nuts because there's a top three. You've got Kim, Bob, and Naomi. Yeah. Four is crazy. But they always do four.

But I also think a top two is incomplete. Well, because with the four, you've got two against two and then one against one. Well, three is fun because you have the one you know is not going to win, usually. Naomi. Damn. No, I mean, that's what it was. And one you know is not going to win. Usually. Naomi. Damn. No, I mean, that's what it was. And then you have three that's not going to win. And then you have the two that are so different that the conversation over brunch is like,

but they're so different. Bob and Kim. Yeah. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Don't you agree? Bob's so great at this.

Funny. And Kim's so great at this. Yeah. And then Naomi, we love her. Yeah, exactly. But she's so fierce. That's what the three ends up being. I hate to say it. It was like, Bianca and Adore. And we love her. Yeah, exactly. But she's so fierce. That's what the theory ends up being. I hate to say it, it was like, Bianca and Adore.

And we love Kourtney. Yes. But let's talk about why Bianca and Adore might win. That's what that was. That's right. And then you got Darian. Top four. And then you got Darian.

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from the rest. The fans that are there for every victory, defeat, agony, and ecstasy. And when the buzzer sounds, you deserve a Coke Zero Sugar. The one with irresistible taste and zero sugar. Win or lose, Coke Zero Sugar is the most refreshing way to end the game. Coke Zero Sugar. Best Coke ever. Learn more at Coca-Cola.ca. I have had not one drag. I'm talking not one drag.

You know how people are like, oh, yeah. Not one drag of a cigarette. Girl, that's like people are like, I only drink when I smoke. Mary, you drink. And you drink a lot. So guess what? You smoke, honey. You smoke.

Not you. But people who are like, I only smoke when I drink. Well, that's called smoking. I only cum when I fuck. Like, what? Girl, you're still having sex. Right. I don't really. I only swallow when I drink. Yeah. It's like, well, that's called smoking. I only come when I fuck. Like what girl? You're still having sex. Right. I don't, I don't really.

I only swallow when I eat. What? I only kill when I'm hungry. That's what I'm saying. I don't like it's, um, you know, some things you can't really measure in absolutes, but this you can. Yes. You know what I mean? Yes.

It's like. Do you smoke or not? Do you smoke or not? Do you have a cigarette or not? Not one. Do you love it? It's a miracle. Is it? It's miraculous. But do you have a cigarette or not not one do you love it it's a miracle is it it's miraculous but do you miss it are you already over the hump oh yeah you do well i missed the uh not

to get like woo but i missed the the trick because it's like imagine if you had a you had an imaginary best friend that you thought was real and then one day you find out it's not real. You're like, so lonely. I think we should tell people that at our management company, we have found out that apparently interns, interns, when they get comfortable,

they will say, they ask, are Trixie... Extremely deeply personal questions. Oh, yeah. Are Trixie and Katya really friends? Interns getting comfortable,

probably, they start working on Monday. By Thursday, they're starting to take their shoes off let their hair down their hand out what size dong is she got like what the hell none of that bothers me but and none of this bothers me but it's funny that the most like i'm gonna get in there and maybe if i get wild after i work there a few years i'm gonna get the courage to ask if two people that work there are real friends what does that mean do you think well i would look at my acting reel mary do you think i could act this good no do people think rupaul and michelle aren't real friends i think that people is that what that is i think that people think that michelle or had thought michelle was like she's my best friend and rupaul was of silent. Do you know what I mean? Like a hanger on

which of course it's not. That's not really the case. I don't really know what their relationship is because I'm not in the middle of their relationship. But to assume that like two people who are friends on television must be lying to you off the camera is crazy. I know. Also, what is a real friend? Someone who scoops up your shit and puts it

in the cat litter box, right? what because I'm trying to listen more and it's really made me aware of how little I know what you're saying sometimes The more I listen more I don't like to what Like how many things have I just said? Uh-huh. Two. Oh, I think you could be like, you could be like anyway.

And then I think we should go down and murder that guy. And I'm like, absolutely. So in summary, the Holocaust did not happen. Okay. We'll see. Absolutely. I absolutely Oprah. That's my doctor.

Yeah. Wait. Uh, what did that with the, the, the, the one, two, three, one. You're disgusting. You're ugly. I'm going to kill you. Give me $200. Hey, bitch.

So you go to your mom and you just say, hey, bitch. That's a little slow and drunk, I feel like. Yeah, a little slow and drunk. Is he a doctor? No. Absolutely not. Is he a doctor of something? I don't think.

He's a doctor. Like, doc. Let's look it up. Do you think that. He's no way he's an MD. You know how this next generation has completely like no faith in colleges? Right. Does that mean that we will also lose all faith in the college educated?

Like, if we don't believe in these systems, do we also now not believe in the training that people have received from these systems? Well, I would say it depends on the system because I would. What if it's the Miss Continental system? Well, Miss Continental Elite, I would let operate on me at large. Don't touch me. Miss Gay US of A? Absolutely. And EOI is like a chiropractor.

They can treat you, but it's not really respected. EOI is like a chiropractor. They can treat you, but it's not really respected. EOI is Reiki. And the regional ones, well, if you need like your back cracked, that's fine. Reiki, I remember, I think Pearl's husband does Reiki, but I'm not totally sure on what it is. I have, it's so, it's an energetic. So I have friends who are Reiki masters, which means like a, you know, what? Reiki Lake. Reiki.

Reiki Martin and Reiki Lake. Reiki Martin. Living la vida. So do they touch you or is it waving? They don't touch you. I'm not being funny. Do they touch you or is it waving? Also, I met someone recently who said,

described himself as an empath. But I would say that everybody healthy emotionally, base level, is empathetic. We all are. Sensitive. Sensitive, yes. Sensitive, yeah. I will say some people are very good at clocking like micro behaviors where people reveal how they really feel highly not always good at that right david highly sensitive david and i will be like

on a double date one time we're gonna double date with two guy friends of ours and i was like what a fun night like we had so much fun at the gig and restaurant and the drinks and all the fun i was like what a fun night the next day goes david goes are you kidding me that was a disaster they were obviously like mad at each other about something. And you didn't pick up on that. It was so awkward all night. And I was like, no, I was like, David, you're making it up. You were so dramatic.

We literally, they broke up. And I had a great night and David was like, you couldn't tell that they like hate each other. That's so fierce. Mr. Magoo over here, just boopy doopy do. Yeah. I was like, what a blast. And by the way, playing it back in my head, it was probably one of them launching a vase

at the other one being like, did you fuck him? And I was like, a blast and by the way playing it back in my head it was probably one of them launching a bass at the other one being like did you fuck him and i was like this is a nice night i thought the rigatoni was really good i see that a hundred percent that is so but but calling yourself very tricksy to be like well my experience was great so everyone's must have been incredible right and if it wasn't it should have been and it should have been and i just think it was disrespectful so would you say that you are oh not i'm also psychic and insensitive but extremely psychic that's how it is so you're so on the other end of the sensitivity spectrum that the the information just just enters you without you noticing it enters me without me noticing it. Yes. Woo!

We're about to renovate the house but the property we're about to renovate is I think haunted. And I told David we better do good

on these designs or these ghosts are about to go from like complacent to pissed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those curtains with that wallpaper.

Old faggy Hollywood like honey these sconces are you joking? I am gonna haunt you tonight. I would leave. I know. I would leave. I think you should leave. I think you should leave.

We need to talk about Kevin. Have you seen that movie? No. I don't know if we're allowed to watch it anymore because Ezra Miller. What? Because he beat someone up? Oh.

He did something people don't like, and in Hollywood, if someone does something wrong, we hate them forever, no matter what. He's cancel Tina hate them forever no matter what he's yes okay how about people in hollywood doing something we don't like beau is afraid i need to talk to you about this fucking film i thought david said we're gonna like it because it's the hereditary guy got to watch it and i'm not gonna say too much about how I feel about it, unfortunately, because I want to spoil your experience, but let me just say that this film was unlike any other I've ever seen

and you are not going to believe it when you watch it. Okay, but that is literally what I felt about Barbie. Everybody who's asked me about the Barbie movie, I've said, it's not like anything I've ever seen. Did you think it was good? Did you like it?

I honestly am going to see it again next Sunday because I am devoid of an opinion still. Okay. Okay. Because I'm curious. I think it looks cute.

Yeah. And can I just say as a precursor to that, for people who say, let's say they love Drag Race, but all they do is shit on Drag Race. Yeah.

Production, the producers, the queens, the fans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate when's say they love Drag Race, but all they do is shit on Drag Race. Yeah. Production, the producers, the queens, the family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate when you say you love something, but you burn energy hating it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I went into Barbie ready to love it. Yeah, you love it. I'm in my little dress at the premiere.

I'm watching the movie with fucking Margot Robbie, right? Like, we're watching the movie. You were. Yes, the whole cast. Dula Peep, everyone. Nicki Minaj was there. Nicki Minaj. the whole cast Dula Peep everyone Nicki Minaj was there Nicki Minaj yes and Dula Peep

so I wanted to like it and I still might but I'm not sure okay I'm not sure well that's fine because I have had very conflicting feelings

about movies that are unconventional whatever and upon second viewing I'm like oh that was trash or oh this was good second viewing sometimes really helps

I think I'm seeing it Sunday with Andrew, a bunch of our doll friends. You know, we have that little doll clip. We're all going as doll people. Yeah. And I want to see it again. It was a little like, to be honest, it was, you know, Elf is like, it's. I never saw Elf.

Okay. In Elf, Will Ferrell lives in Santa's land. North Pole. North Pole, as you call it in America. Sorry, I was like, just like being European and just kind of like, some things we just say different. You know, like, I remember when I lived in Provence, we'd be like, Santa Land. Do you live in Santa Land? And so in that movie, he lives in Santa Land.

Yes. And then when he goes to the real world, the whole movie is that movie, he lives in Santa Land. Yes. Which is a real place. And then when he goes to the real world, the whole movie is that reality, our real world slaps him in the face. It's like, what's a subway? What's a taxi? What's a person? This is a thing.

This happens in, it's a trope in many movies I'm familiar with. And Wizard of Oz. Mannequin. Wizard of, yes, Mannequin. Mannequin. Wizard of Oz is sort of the reverse of that, where she's going from normal to crazy. Right, right, right. Right?

Willy Wonka. In Barbie, she's from the reverse of that, where she's going from normal to crazy. Right, right, right. Right? Willy Wonka. In Barbie, she's from basically Oz. Like, Barbie Land is magic. It's all one color palette. And she goes to the real world. So the comedy is like- And now, why does she go there? She goes there because she finds out-

I don't want to ruin the movie for everyone who's seen it. Oh, I guess not. Okay. Well, people know that she goes- Based on the trailer, you know she goes to the real world and in addition to the comedy of errors of like

oh my god I'm drinking a cup with real juice in it I spilled the water on my face never had that before yeah it's also existential crisis

of what was I made for am I real do I have a GI tract kind of yeah like she doesn't have a pussy or anything so like well right

because I saw the trailer and it said Ken's like do you want to sleep over? And she's like, why? Because we're boyfriend and girlfriend. And she's like, what are we going to do? He's like, I don't know. Yeah.

They don't have. In Barbie land, they are toys. So they don't have any generals. Does he get a weenie when he goes into the real world? Well, in Barbie world, this isn't ruined too much. They know about real world. They do. Yes.

Are they expats? Anyway, I'll let people watch it. Do they castrate themselves? I'm just kidding. But it was almost like reverse Wizard of Oz. If you grew up in Oz and went to Kansas, if Dorothy grew up in Oz and went to Kansas, it gives you like existential crisis.

Sounds horrible. Yeah, so it's a little, it's pretty heavy. Okay. They swing big with big questions about being a woman being a person falling in love Like oh someone was like there was one like right-wing reviewer was like, uh, stop pushing pushing that trans Agenda on me with the Barbie move. There's literally one actress. I believe who's trans hurry enough who by the way I'm just gonna say is passable. You probably would never know unless you read about it uh she was in the idol too and again yes and i'm not here to say who's passing don't yell at me i'm saying passing for her as a tv actress she's passing the bar you would just think yeah

oh there's a girl in this movie yeah that's a lawyer they don't go look at this is trans barbie they don't do that so i don't know they not pushing woke. That's just a woman playing a woman. There you go. So what's the issue? A woman playing a doll. Right. A woman playing a doll. Playing a doll.

Let people live. And there's also like a plus size. And they don't go, this is plus size Barbie. These just are Barbies. Okay. They don't call it Black Barbie. Black Barbie. Hello.

Thank you. I really am up. These are nice. Do we always have these? These are nice. Microphones? I like microphones. You really am up. These are nice. Do we always have these? These are nice. I just got it too. Microphones? I like microphones.

You do? Yeah. I like it. It's cameras for sound. Oh my God. We should wrap. We gotta go. Bye.