The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Pokémon 101 is Now in Session with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: June 24, 2025

Ninntenndo America, Inc. Announces Two New Pokémon Arriving in 2026!: Trixioohh is a deranged Fairy/Plastic type Pokémon evolved from a cursed eyeliner found in the haunted Ross store on La Brea Avenue. With moves like Wig Whip, Slander Pulse, and her apocalyptic signature attack Nuclear Eyebrow Gluer, she crushes enemies into submission and leaves behind a sticky residue of THC gummies. Katya Zamoirrra is a Psychic/Trash/Unstable Gas type who doesn’t evolve—she erupts in an explosion of movie references and HVAC manuals. Her moves include Sweat Tsunami and Soviet Psy-Ops, which launches an entire Slavic folklore demon at your opponent. Her body flickers between dimensions like bad reception, and her laughter can cause minor nosebleeds in nearby trainers. Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to: https://Zocdoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today! For a limited time only for our listeners, get 60% off your first order of Smalls PLUS free shipping by going to https://Smalls.com and using our code BALD Make your outdoor space your dream oasis TODAY with Wayfair! Head to https://Wayfair.com right now to shop a huge outdoor selection. Wayfair. Every style. Every home. Work on your financial goals through Chime today! Open an account in 2 minutes at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime.  Feels like progress. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at ⁠https://BetterHelp.com/BALD⁠ and get on your way to being your best self! Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipsYT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://trixieandkatyalive.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://workinggirlsbook.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemotel.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Listen Anywhere! ⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠   Follo​w Trixie: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemattel.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ TikTok: ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@trixie⁠⁠ Facebook: ​⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠⁠  Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter (X): ​⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠⁠   Follow Katya: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.welovekatya.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@katya_zamo⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/welovekatya/⁠⁠⁠⁠  Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠  Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠    About the Podcast: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya features a pair of grizzled gay ghouls sitting on chairs, holding microphones, and discussing their fabulous lives in Tinseltown. (featuring occasional forays into movies, television shows, and air-conditioning) The New York Times called them models, moguls, actors, influencers, drag queens, RuPaul's Drag Race contestants, and even humanoids. If one thing can be said about these two preternaturally gorgeous queens' podcast, it's that Trixie and Katya find the sheer, unadulterated beauty of pure insanity. Tune in every week to experience the auditory pleasure that is The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya. #TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, it's bObi from the Really Good Podcast. I don't get excited about much, but I am counting down the days because Prime Day is coming. From July 8th through 11th, Prime members can shop some of the best deals of the year on Amazon. Prime Day is now four whole days, basically a lifetime in internet years, which means more time for spontaneous finds you'll feel great about. I've been using the same curling iron since high school. It smokes and somehow I'm still here saying she's fine. On Prime Day, beauty products like fancy curlers will be on a deal because it's finally time to retire the vintage fire hazard I've been clinging to. Whether it's a sleek new kitchen gadget or something stylish and sparkly, Prime Day is your moment to explore and discover your next favorite Amazon

find. So don't forget, shop great deals this Prime Day, July 8th through 11th. Get ready to treat yourself. You'll be glad you did. The GMC employee pricing event is on now. Get a big cash purchase discount of up to $12,300 on the 2025 GMC Sierra 1500 and the 2025 Sierra HD. With Sierra 1500's premium interior and advanced tech or Sierra HD's impressive power and capability, you'll have everything you need to get from work to play with confidence this season. Hurry in, employee pricing is on for a limited

time. Visit your local GMC dealer for details. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rank on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goaltenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details.

Our final shows of the year are happening for the Ball and the Beautiful Live. So on October 3rd, it's October 3rd, we're going to be in Calgary at the Southern Jubilee Theater. On October 4th, we're going to be in Winnipeg at Club Regent. And on November 9th, we're going to be in Tucson, Arizona at the Linda Ronstadt Theater. And on November 13th, we're wiggling over to Honolulu at the Blaisdell Center. Tickets available at TrixieAndKati.com. First of all, wait, do you know about Pokemon? Am I the only person on this earth who does not know about Pokemon? I could not name a Pokemon.

I could not identify one. I'm sorry. I could probably name the first 300 in order off the top of my head. You can name more Pokemons than presidents. Let's say that. 100%. And do you... What do you want to know? I don't want to know anything. That's the problem. Like, I feel like...

Is somebody trying to make you know it? No, I was on the pit stop. And I guess, uh, Aja... You guys stop watching Drag Race, you're watching Pokemon? No, no. Aja dressed up as Pokemons, apparently. Dressed up as Pokemon. And that went way over my head. And I was like, and I faced the wrath of the, um, the entire world.

Do people not know that you're... Not into Pokemon? Well, Pokemon came out, I was the perfect age. What? Which, what? 16? Maybe eight? Oh. Nine? When it came out? When I, when I remember. And I was the perfect age. What? Which, what, 16? Maybe eight. Oh. Nine. Okay.

When it came out, when I remember. And I was 16 drinking blood. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like why would I know what a Pokemon is? What is it? It is a cartoon, like a franchise. It's a cartoon about a world where there are little monsters

running around with elemental superpowers, psychic. Moral combat? Oh, it's a Pikachu is a mouse that shoots electricity out of its cheeks. Okay. Is there a common enemy? Well, it's sort of the ethics. A lot of the themes are like people using that for evil, people trying to control Pokemon. What would be a good like, it's like this. It's like, um...

Thundercats? No. Think it like... Think of Pokemon more like, they're somewhere between wild animals and people as far as intelligence. Okay. They don't talk. And humans can go, oh, it's a Pikachu. I'm going to catch it, befriend it, and now it's my companion pet that has powers.

Is there... does it ever get slutty or sexy? No. So it's like, oh, what's um? Your car needs a jump my Pikachu's here my Pikachu's gonna shock your car and now it works It's sort of like using these animals with powers The whole point is that Pokemon and humans are trying to coexist. Okay, so there's a lot of but what is this element of going out and? Finding them like okay. So if oh, are you asking about Pokemon Go? I guess so.

Okay, so Pokemon Go is a game that came out maybe in 2016, 17 maybe. And it's on the phone. Yeah, and you're going in the forest. People are going in the forest. Yeah, so it uses a real GPS of the world. And it'll go, oh, wow, the Culver's down the street from my house is a Pokemon gym. So if I walk over there, I can fight,

I can win that beat that Pokemon gym using my Pokemon. Oh my gosh, my friend just texted me and said that there's a Gyarados down the street at the McDonald's. I'm gonna run down the street and try to catch it on my phone. And then I have the Pokemon. And then you, and then what?

It's sort of, I mean, that's it. I don't know what to say. It's fun and people like it. I mean, I guess with Candy Crush, you crush the candy and that's it. Right. It's like, you know, it's... The journey is the destination.

Right. You know, some might say that yoga is like, that's it. You sit and breathe. You know what I mean? That's, I don't think that's it. I don't think that's a good analogy at all. Nothing. No, I'm not, I'm not, it's like, it's like croquet.

It's, it's sort of like social media meets a phone game. It gets you out of the house. It gets you out of the house. It gets you connected with your community. You connect with the community. I played it for a couple years. Okay. Off and on.

I noticed there was a gay, it was kind of like Disney gays, Pokemon gays. Yeah, Pokemon gays. You connect with the community. I played it for a couple years off and on. I noticed there was a gay, it was kind of like Disney gays, Pokemon gays. Yeah, Pokemon gays. There's a lot, like it's like a subset of gays that like, well, no, I think for a lot of us, Nick, did you like Pokemon? A lot of us when we were young,

it was a very like something you, for me it was something that me and like the straight guys could both like. Reaching across the aisle. Reaching across the aisle. Reaching across the aisle. The girls liked it. It was just fun.

Everybody had their favorite Pokemon. I played the Pokemon card game, and sometimes I get high and watch the world championships. People win half a million dollars playing Pokemon cards. So now we're talking. Yeah. So that makes sense to me. Yeah.

Like ping pong champions, chess champions. Yeah. Like world's longest finger nails. You know what it's like? I get it. Magic the Gathering. That's where your finger nails. You know what it's like? I get it. Magic the Gathering. That's where your age group. Oh, okay.

Or like D and D, but that's totally different. It's like Magic the Gathering. Okay. And it's, so there's the Pokemon Card Game, which is a whole, almost like a sport. It could be on ESPN. Okay. And then there's the TV show,

which has many seasons across different years of a cartoon about it. Got it. And it's anime. Okay. And then there's obviously so much merch. Yes. There's toys, shirts. And it's anime. And then there's obviously so much merch. There's toys, shirts. And it's widely known.

Very, very widely known. Every country, I think in the world, probably fucking knows about Pokemon. Except me. Except you. Damn. It's fun. I mean, you don't have to start now. I'm not gonna.

But the D&D thing, I have flipped the script on that 100%. You like it? Well, I went from- What was your previous script? I thought it was corny, I dismissed it right away. I was like, nope, that's crazy, like wonderful. You love it. I do.

It gets people out of the house. No, it gets them in the house, in the basement. Well, I mean, get together. Get together. And also, shout out to sober people. If you're not getting high, you're not fucking. D&D is all there is. And yes, yoga, D&D, no P&P. Right.

Instead of this. But they had, who the fuck was it? I think it was Jessica from True Blood, that actress. Oh, I know her name. She was explaining how to play, why and the sort of nuts and bolts of Dungeons and Dragons in the most compelling, non corny way. What's her name again?

Debra Ann Wohl. Brandon went to some acting classes with her. She's such a great actress. Love her. She's so beautiful. Love her. She's so cunt. She does a lot of activism for the blind

because her husband's blind. Cunty. Do you think that you would ever do a D&D? Yes! You would. Now that I was like, I got the scoop from Miss Whore, I'm like, absolutely. You know there's a D&D that is ongoing with Bob the Drag Queen and Jujubee and... No, no, no, no. Not with drag queens.

You don't want to play with drag queens. No, I'm playing with regular folks. It seems like a yes-man's creativity. What would your character be like? I think it changes all the time, right? Well... I don't know. I think you do the whole thing, the whole campaign this winter.

I think you kind of stay one character for at least that game. I would have three groups. I would definitely have three groups, because I got multifaceted personality, and I need to express myself. And would you be kind of all out for yourself? Are you kind of partnering? On Monday, absolutely.

It's all about me. Wednesday, I'm like, you know, branching out, selfless, like curious. Friday, it's a wild, like wild card, unpredictable. Gotta get down on Friday. Oh my God. Hands and knees. When I was, guess who was in Mexico as well? Rebecca Black. Rebecca Black.

And she walked up to me and you know, she really, in her glam, you're like, God damn, you are a pop star. She is so gorgeous. So cutesy. It makes you're like, God damn, you are a pop star. She is so gorgeous. So cutesy. It makes you think everybody, so many people could just be pop stars if they had the right glam. Yeah, you ugly bitches at home, get it together.

She's very pretty out of drag, but in her drag, you're like, oh, you're just a pop star. That's right. Wow. She does look like a pop star. And she came up and it was Friday when I saw her because I was at sound check and she said, all right, I'll see you later.

I said, okay. And Rebecca, happy Friday. And she was like. She all right, I'll see you later. I said, okay. And Rebecca happy Friday. She's like, no, she was like, she was like, she kicks you in the ball. Whatever fag. She could have turned around and said, whatever fag, whatever fag. She pukes into a plastic bag and hooked it at you completely. Completely. Did you see that?

Um, Rosie O'Donnell is's gonna be on a just like that? Maybe. There's something about New York City. Rosie O'Donnell said, I'm coming back from Ireland to be in New York City. I'll take Rosie over Che any day. I hope that she feels that. Why can there only be one? Because how many people are gonna fucking finger blast Cynthia Nixon in her kitchen? That is my problem with lesbian programming. There's only over one butch girl at a time. I know. Well, America doesn't have the stomach for it.

America's not ready for all that. All those rough, calloused fingers. Well, did you ever watch? Just dig in into Cynthia's cunt. Did you ever watch the original L Word? You know, I haven't seen it. That was like the United Colors abettaton of lesbianism. There was every type. It was very well represented.

Married women trying to have a baby. There was a woman in transition, like, who discovers in the show she's male. Was it good? The original season? The original show? Made me sob! I loved it! I loved it. I loved it.

I never seen the remake. Okay. Made me a bad lesbian. Well, Queer as Folk did the same thing, right? Is there another Queer as Folk? Are you kidding me? The original American one? I think there was a,

it was first a British one, I believe. No, then it was Canadian. Oh, was it Canadian first? Wasn't it Canada? I think it was British, but the first American one was like, we're gonna teach you gay 101. Like, it was like, oh God.

I always tell people it's like somebody read about being gay on Wikipedia. Yes, yes, which I can't stand from a screenwriting angle. Well, that was my issue with looking. Do you remember? That was way better than Queer as Folk. But this motherfucker, who the main character is played by was his name?

Jonathan Groff. Yes, Jonathan Groff, shout out, come on the pod. Love him. But his character was maybe our age in the show and was like, I don't know if I'm a top or a bottom. I'm like, were you frozen in ice like forever young Mel Gibson? Like, what do you mean you don't know

if you're a top or a bottom? Do you want it to go inside you or do you want to go inside someone else? It's like an Amish woman off the wagon fumbling magazines like, what are these? Rum Sprigga, Rum Sprigga. Well, it's like Sex and the City, and just like that, those characters, and they were woken up after an ice age.

Right. Like, she's a sex columnist, but is so flabbergasted by pronouns. Right. Like, what happened in the interim? It's so crazy. They, like, they stumble out of a cave and bump into a representative.

In Manolo Blanco. And they stumble into a representative from Alelo. They give her a bunch of tools to excavate. Did you see that character getting chomped out in the kitchen by Chay Diaz? I've never seen that show. Maybe when we were, sweetie. Mary, all you did was bitch about how bad it was. So why would I start watching it?

It is not bad. It is terrible. Okay. Okay. But, but, okay, so this is why you watch in Just Like That, Sarah Jessica Parker's hair. That's it. Her hair. She's a wonderful performer.

She's a wonderful performer, but it's really, her hair is the fourth girl at brunch. Yeah. It's like, it's show-stopping. It's really just a vehicle for Serge, her hairdresser. Yeah. It's really amazing. Don't you agree? I have to tell you something that Blizzy said on Twitter.

But we will be visiting that clip of Cynthia Nixon getting dug out in the kitchen. Because it was shocking to me. She was like, he, Che Diaz was covering her mouth so that she wouldn't, because she had a friend in the next room. Well, do you, or Carrie! Carrie was in the next room. Well, do you remember, did you watch Orange is the New Black? Yeah.

I remember there was some fingering that was like, it was complete fist. And I was like, I didn't know that, I didn't know that the vaginal fisting was a big deal. Really? A huge deal. Yeah, I mean, it's very elastic. Very elastic.

Blizzy, my favorite person on Twitter, the day she tweeted, wore cargo shorts today and she shared the picture of Cynthia Nixon on the advocate. Because she wore cargo pants and the t-shirt says dyke. Blizzy continuing to bring it home on Twitter every single fucking week. Also, the complete amazement of having Cynthia Nixon's character

have a late in life sexual renaissance slash questioning is so bizarre to me. I love it though. Can I say that I don't think it's bizarre because I think that. It does happen of course. Certain types of women, you are bred to be one thing. You are not encouraged to imagine yourself as anything else.

But this is a New York City lawyer. Right. I mean, I don't know. Well, but she's like white and waspy, isn't she? She's like uptight. You're friends with Samantha Jones and Carrie Bradshaw and you don't know you're a dyke? I just think that's so crazy.

I think Samantha could probably bring it out of any of these friends. She'd be like, honey, you're a dyke. No, I mean, like, even if you're 100% into men, if you're sitting by Samantha, aren't you like? Yeah. You know? Yes. You want to chomp on them titties.

Kind of like Troye Sivan, reaching across the aisle. Every person wants to fuck Troye Sivan. I, hello, what? Every person. Men, women, and children. On the Titanic, they put people in the boats to go fuck Troye Sivan. What are you talking about? Because I think men are like, oh, there's a softness. Oh, I see.

And women are like, oh, yeah. Androgyny. And gay men, I mean, gay men obviously want to fuck him too. Yeah. He's got a kind of like a tilde. It's like universally beautiful. Okay. Right?

Wow. If he teamed up with tilde, they could tag team the world. Completely. But okay. So I'm just, I don't know. I guess I'm probably jealous because I wish I could have a late in life sexual renaissance where I realize I'm straight. Not straight, but I realize that I'm bisexual.

I mean, could be honest, because being a gay guy is fucking corny. It's corny, it's tired. It's corny, it's so played out. The court is all frayed and it doesn't work anymore. Like Sean Hayes finished that Scantron and turned it in so long ago. The library book has been returned to the reference section. It's over. We're all reheating nachos by being gay men.

It's stupid. It is so stupid and it tastes like shit. I think being straight is kind of transgressive now. But you don't stay straight. It's kind of up in the air. It's not really pinned down. That's fun. That's fun, wacky, and wild. It's amazing. straight. It's not, it's kind of up in the air. It's not really pinned down. That's fun. That's fun, wacky and wild. It's amazing. Yeah, it's like, ooh.

It also eliminates coming out. It eliminates what are you. It eliminates the pressure of picking an outfit to wear for the rest of your life, basically. And I know that the groups and the labels are all for a reason so you can find each other, whatever. But I love the just like, let's see what happens. It's Friday.

That's what Rebecca Black's Friday was about. It was about straight guys hooking up. It was handy. Straight guys. I'm really happy that I'm off that path with the straight men because that's just, it's a, you're driving a lemon with the straight guys. You are, you are. You're driving a lemon.

That thing is not built to last. No. The warranty is bunk and the rebate will not work. 100%. They just, I don't know about them. I don't know about them. They're unreliable. The meal loneliness epidemic.

Yeah, they're unreliable. They don't cook, they don't clean and it's not good. However, perfect opportunity for a segue into my new bathroom. What's going on with the, wait, should we take a break? Let's take a break. [♪ music playing and playing guitar again. This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc. Have you ever left a weekend fishing trip to Big Bear only to realize a week later that you have a massive leech on your left butt cheek?

After the initial shock, you wait a few days to make a doctor's appointment. But then, you stall for a few days because you've grown attached to the little guy. Pretty soon, you're turning down invitations to dinner because you wanna have a movie night with your new best friend, Scarlett J. Hemoglobin. After a few months, you realize your left butt cheek is noticeably smaller than your right

because Scarglo has sucked all the blood out of it. We've all been there, right? Listen, booking a doctor's appointment can feel just so daunting. But thanks to ZocDoc, there's no reason to delay. They make it easy to find and book a doctor who's right for you. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality

in-network doctors and click instantly to book an appointment. They have over 100,000 doctors from literally any specialty, including hematologists who can tell you about the countless bacteria now in your bloodstream from the leech. They can also remind you that scarlet is not your friend but instead a soulless parasitic worm. You can filter for doctors who take your specific insurance who are located nearby if you hate driving like me or find ones with specific office hours to match your hectic schedule.

And most importantly, you can find doctors who are highly rated by real-life verified patients. You can even see their real-time appointment openings, choose the time that works for you, and instantly book a visit with just a few clicks. Same-day appointments are also available in many cases, which is absolutely brilliant. The best part is that ZocDoc is completely free to use. You can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors with ease,

which is why I love ZocDoc. When I finally decided to make my butt cheeks symmetrical again post-leech, I went to ZocDoc. ZocDoc helped me find the best doctor in my area and booked them fast. If I can find a great doctor, so can you. And all because of ZocDoc. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash bald to find and

instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash bald, ZocDoc.com slash bald. Today's episode of Bald in the Beautiful is brought to you by Smalls. Now okay, I currently do not have a pet, but my last roommate Lee, Lee and I had two pets together. Well, they were his cats, but they became fond of me. I toured and traveled and those cats were so odd because when I was on tour, they would sleep in my bed in my room.

And then when I would be home from tour, they would sleep in my bed in my room and then when I would be home from tour They would come in because they love my room, but they were not a hundred percent sure on me So they were kind of like in love with my room And then when I would come home they would kind of be like why are you in my room? You know cats gonna have that way to project their thoughts. They were kind of like get out of here But you know cats are part of the family plain and simple and we as roommates did not have children these cats were the babies and My roommate taught me that it's important to buy the cats the best food that money can buy I think those cats had a better diet than I did and our next sponsor is here to help. It's Smalls

You guys know I'm particularly an animal person more than a human person at this point I think the human race has run its course But I think cats will probably inherit the earth. And Smalls cat food is protein packed recipes made with preservative free ingredients you'll find in your fridge and it's delivered right to your door. That's why cats.com named Smalls their best overall cat food. One of the worst things about owning a pet is that you have to haul bags of food home and it's great because you don't really have to do that anymore.

You can get 60% off your first order plus free shipping. Head over to Smalls.com to do it and use the code bald for a limited time only. Smalls also has great treats you can add to the order. For a limited time only, because you are a bald and a beautiful listener, you can get 60% off your first order of Smalls plus free shipping by using my code bald.

That's 60% off when you head to Smalls.com and use promo code bald. Again, that's promo code bald for 60% off your first order plus free shipping at Smalls.com. This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Wayfair. So here's what happened a few weeks ago. I walked outside, looked at the cracked slab of concrete

that is my patio and thought to myself, this is where dreams go to perish. So naturally I decided to build a full-blown vintage tiki hut. Why? I don't know. I had a premonition. Also the snarky ghost who resides in my house told me to. Enter Wayfair. Like a magical online jungle full of outdoor furniture, umbrellas, string lights, and even tableware, Wayfair is your one-stop destination to transform your backyard, patio, or deck. For me, there's just something about a beautiful outdoor space that says, come for the Tiki Hut vibes, stay for the one-man musical about magic seashells.

Wayfair's got everything you need for the home of your dreams. Hot tubs, lounge chairs, and even fire pits for roasting marshmallows while telling ghost stories to your neighbor, Frank. My hall? I bought a bamboo bar set, a gorgeous dining table and chairs, and string lights that cast a beautifully warm glow on LA's hot summer nights.

Plus, I even picked out a patio rug that says either Aztec Revival or Iowa Crop Circle. It all arrived super fast and the shipping was free. Now I host chill, tiki vibe gatherings where we debate topics like, is cereal a form of gazpacho? If you want your outdoor space to feel like a mid-century resort run by a benevolent Polynesian ghost, Wayfair it.

They have literally everything. From Adirondack chairs to garden gnomes, you bring the inspiration, they bring the gazebo. Wayfair makes it easy for every space and every budget. Find all your outdoor must haves, from outdoor heaters to pool lounges to garden statues to trampolines, all in one convenient place.

Don't wait, make your outdoor space your dream oasis today with Wayfair. And enjoy it all summer long. Head to wayfair.com right now to shop a huge outdoor selection. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style, every home. And we're back with the bathroom.

I saw the photos. I saw the video. I love it. I love it. Well, thank God. I love it so much. You used to hate this place. I still hate it. I'm in active hatred of it. Ongoing. Why? Because everything... I could bore you to tears about it. I'm in active hatred of it, ongoing. Why? Because everything, I could worry to tears about it.

If you can change the bathroom, why can't you change the rest of it? You own it. No, no, I am, but it's gonna take a little time. However, the bathroom is nearly done, and I love it so much. I'm gonna shit all over those walls. It is very sumptuous.

It's gonna be hard for you to perpetuate this poverty-stricken storyline when you have this plush-ass bathroom. No, no, no, I'm flipping the script. I'm going full Gilded Age. Once this bathroom is complete, I'm like, old money, oh, that's across the street. There's...

I'm going full Carrie Coons in the Gilded Age. I'm gonna wear brocade dresses, speak with an affectation. Right. Honey. I'm happy for you. Yeah, I'm happy for myself too. So how long until you can... Is it usable? Are you peeing in there? What's going on? Nope, there's no pee or poop yet. However, we'm happy for you. Yeah, I'm happy for myself too. So how long until you can, is it usable? Are you peeing in there?

What's going on? Nope, there's no pee or poop yet. However, we got to replace the toilet. Had a black toilet on retainer, or not on retainer, like on deck. Yeah. Just happened to have an extra- Well it's such a hassle to paint your own.

No, really. I happened to have an extra black toilet. Extra black? How many types of black? No, the black toilet installed today- For your toilet, did you want black or extra black? How many types of black? No, no. The black toilet installed today. For your toilet, did you want black or extra black? I thought you meant like deep black. Like mascara, there's black and black is black. I thought it was like blue black.

Yeah, I thought it was like, it's autumn sunrise. No, no, no. But so I got, this is how I know I did something good. I realized, like I said before, that interior design is the job for a reason, because it's really difficult. Right. And it requires some training. However, the tile guy was showing videos of the design of the place to his other client, and they were like, who's the designer?

Who is that? It's me. It's you. It's me. And you were proud to say it was me. I was extremely proud. I haven't been proud of something in like 25 years. You shelling out Radio City Music Hall and feeling nothing,

and then proud of the tile in the bathroom. A black toilet, Gooning. A black toilet and you sitting there going. A cracked black toilet. Extra black. Extra black. But so I love it and I was worried because I made a lot of bold choices.

Imagine how light colored your poop's gonna look in a black toilet. It's gonna be white. Baby, you ain't gonna see anything. It's gonna be a bowl of mystery. I've been having to do some light re-imagining of my home. What's your favorite room in the house? Not like just in general. Mine?

Is it the bedroom, the kitchen? Where do you locate the most? The dining room. The dining room. I love the dining room. It's like the epicenter of the thing. The gold ceiling, I love it. But when you break up with somebody,

eventually you have to give shit back and you go, oh, I guess that's not my colander. So then you're using your bare hands to pour hot noodles in trying to, you know what I mean? Yeah, tea bags, it just, yeah. Ask me how many pieces of silver I have right now. Four. Zero.

Damn. Nothing, we ain't got nothing. So now I'm in my second era of, well, now I'm gonna go online and I'm gonna have to look at some end tables. Do you enjoy this process? No. I thoroughly do.

Okay. But I have a lot of time. Okay, yeah. You don't. I liked having those things and it's, now it's like, it's like a second draft to be like, did I like that table? Because sometimes I'm like,

should I just buy that table again? Or should I get something else? Exactly. But I also feel really strongly about used items right now. So I'm up on the marketplace. I'm up on the offer. Facebook marketplace. Facebook won't let me onto their website.

Otherwise I would use Facebook marketplace to acquire furniture. Craigslist. Yes. That's where I got that giant painting in my house. 500 bucks. It's fabulous. I had to rent a U-Haul and go to Alhambra.

You can haggle. You can haggle at CB2.Haul and go to Alhambra. You can haggle. You can haggle at CB2. Well, I also, I know that in Mexico you can haggle, but I'm not confident. I know, it's like speaking a language. It's another language. Also, what am I supposed to be like? The person on vacation blowing money for a weekend

being like, this is your livelihood. I'm not paying that much. Just getting their money. It's a sport. Like in soccer, you don't use your hands. You just gotta play the game. I'm too avoidant to haggle. No shit.

Pick something up and go, I don't know, I'll give you five bucks. If they were advertising it for $300, I'll pay 400. That's how my haggling skills work. It's horrible. Anybody else who's listening, do you feel like your nightmare is someone going, well, you have to haggle?

If it was a rummage, someone goes, how much do you wanna to pay for it? I'm immediately shitting blood. I'm like, fuck. It's like, what's your name? What do you want it to be? Oh brother. Right. Yeah. It's, I don't like that. Just give me the price. And I either have the money or I don't. Yeah. Although that being said, when I walk into an antique store, mama, it's like blood sport. I love to haggle because they sell this shit so, they price it to haggle.

Right. This chandelier is $16,000. They will take $5,000 for it. Right. But you gotta know that. You gotta know it. You gotta know that. I also, I didn't, I, my basement and like a lot of my storage is now empty.

So now I feel like my house is like half empty. So I'm like excited about things that I can put away. All the built-ins are empty. It's like, I was like, wow, there's a lot of cabinet space now that is empty. My basement just has Christmas decorations, nothing else. How big is your basement? Maybe this room, it's like a wine cellar.

Do you have one of those wine fridges? And if so, can you tell me why? I don't have a wine fridge. I just have a, cause I have the fridge in the kitchen and the fridge in the guest house. So I do put, fridge. I put beverages in the fridge in the guest house

for company. That was like, what do you want to drink? It's right there. And it's a little like, it's a little bit Aaron Brockovich where they're like, you're not gonna have the soda I want. It's like, what number did you need? Cause I do have many cans of Diet Dr. Pepper. I have Diet Fresco from 1985. I do have Great Poppy that's gonna make you shit, bitch.

I love that Poppy soda. I had one in Palo Alto. Does it make you shit? I don't, yes, I blew ass, but I think I was gonna anyway. At this age, at this stage in my life, I feel that if I have even a nibble of hard cheese, I won't have a movement for six and a half weeks. So it's better for me to just sip on a little grape poppy.

You know? Get the girls moving. You know? Kind of a charcuterie board in my mouth. Oh God. We got the hard cheese and the grapes. What are you doing Sunday? I'm going to visit Meghan Markle.

No, I don't know. Would you like to come over? For three, for 35 minutes. I'm having a two and a half hour pool party. Hell yeah, I'll be there. Absolutely, I'll be there. So I'm in a house, is it new? I'm gonna have some soda and champagne

and a fruit plate and cheese. Hard out, 430. Well, I called- 2 to 430, hard out. I called Bob the Drag Queen on the way here and I said well I heard what you said about me on the podcast and I want you to know that I said I'm inviting you to a party from 11 to 2 30 Well, I guess that's sorry. It's three hours. It's fierce. I'm sorry. It's fierce when you go to mass Sunday

They don't say well, we just leave whenever no it's like a thing Yeah, I love borders. So I was wondering if you wanted to come over but in that time period and get jump in the pool. I absolutely do. I got a bunch of new floaties and I'm got a bunch new bat. Is this clothing optional? Can I say something that seems rich? I believe I believe that if you get a cheap beach towel, it will feel like a cheap beach towel. You know, when you get like a promotional beach towel, it's like, Oh, absolute gave you this beach towel. You know when you get like a promotional beach towel, it's like, oh, Absolute gave you this beach towel. It's a sham-wow. Cheap toilet paper is not a bargain.

It's not. That's like, yeah. And something like when you have guests and you go, here's your pool towel, and it's paper thin. Here's your scratchy thin napkin. Yeah, yeah. So I said, this isn't for me. This one's for the girls who've ever had a broken heart.

You know what I mean? So I got them. They're built to last. Thick, plush, pink and white stripey beach towels. So when guests come over, they feel thought of. Oversized, thick hotel towels. Are they the type that only they age like wine? The more you wash them, the better they get.

I guess we'll find out, cause they haven't arrived yet. So, and then I was. No, do we get in the tub? All my stunning martini glasses belonged to one David Silver. Okay. So I was like, crap, I don't have any more fancy martini glasses. So I was looking online at martini glasses on William Sonoma. Very expensive.

But glass shatter, cut, ouch, blood, pool, drunk. Think about it. There's this woman called, she's running a scam. Her name is Mackenzie something. Of course Mackenzie. But think about glass martini, like beautiful glass drunk people, you know, drunk people. Mackenzie Childs. She makes these stunning glasses. That's a per glass price.

Yeah, I believe it. Mackenzie Childs, $69 for a tiny... It looks like a hand blown, like... Somebody better blow me. For 69 bucks, Mackenzie Childs? Yeah, I don't know the... Yeah. But blowing glass is kind of... Blowing ass is kind of...

Blowing ass is free. No, they had a whole major at my school. You're majoring in glass blowing. I was on WilliamSonoma.com and I was like... I was like, in my mind I went, it's a set of eight. I went, six, 70 bucks, beers, what a deal. And I got to the cart and it said one. I said something, something.

So I was like, okay. If it's handmade though. $69 for a glass? Mary, if it's hand fucking made, that's a piece of art. If it's handmade and not from Guangzhou or wherever. I know, maybe I'm just being cheap. I just don't understand that. Well, that's not, I mean, that's not a scam.

That's a splurge. Do you know what I mean? But I don't think Mackenzie Childs is in a warehouse somewhere blowing drops. I don't think so either. It's probably a drop ship scenario. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's probably coming from Guangzhou. So Mackenzie, I got my fucking eye on you. I don't even know you. You bitch. But I'm going to tell you that when I go to world market and I find a comparable cup in a set of eight for under 40 bucks, you will get clapped. You will get fucking clapped. I've gotta talk to you about.

And I'm a strong proponent of when people separate, they should take the things that they own that he paid for. Yeah, or just their hair. Goodbye to the stunning glasses, love those glasses. And I thought, you know what? I have my own money. Today's a wonderful day to get new glasses.

When you both have your own money, just consciously uncouple. Right. Do like Gwyneth. Do you know what Busy Phillips did? Her and her husband, well ex-husband as they were separating had a estate sale for their like joint belongings.

Love that shit. And they kept it very amicable. And then you can use that money to pay for the lawyers to fucking fleece each other. No. There will be no fleecing. No, no. And I want everybody who has a martini to have a stunning glass for that martini.

But let me ask you- So I wanna have a nice glass for my guests. Okay. I don't drink martini. I understand, I understand. But like thinking about final destination and thinking about like what happens when people get drunk in pool areas.

Well, I need plastic for the pool. That's what I'm saying. No glass around the pool. That's a very, very dangerous situation. I know. And the plastic pool wear wasn't purchased by me either, so that's also gone. So I was like, crap, if I'm trying to have a pool party Sunday, if I'm trying to have a pool party Sunday, what am I going to do?

Drinking like winos, country. -♪ If I'm trying to pull party Sunday, what am I gonna do? Drinking like winos, country. Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by our friends at Chime. Chime is going to help you get your whole life together, okay? Because some of us are suffering from overdraft fees, mispayments, wishing we had a strategy to save more. My favorite, ATM fees, which seem to get wilder and wilder by the minute in this world, okay? Chime understands that every dollar counts.

And when you set up direct deposit through Chime, you get access to fee-free features, like free overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit, and more. One time I was working as a dishwasher, this was right after college, and I was going on a trip with my friends

and I asked my employer if I could get an advance on my paycheck, and they said no. And I would have loved to get that paycheck a couple days early before I went on my trip. Also, this is very relevant to all of us, having access to 50,000 fee-free ATMs nationwide is life-changing. I feel that the ATM fees have gotten so out of hand.

When you go to use ATM, they're basically like, oh, stick your hands in, which finger would you like us to take? I mean, it is really wild, and having access to 50,000 fee-free ATMs can be life-changing, because I am not a cash person But some things in this world are cash things and you always got to have a little cash

You always got to give a little tip. You always got to be able to split the bill Cash is sometimes life-changing chime is banking done, right? Get paid up to two days early when you set up direct deposit Okay, work on your financial goals today through chime open an account an account in two minutes at chime.com slash bald. That's chime.com slash bald. Chime feels like progress. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided

by the Bank Core Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members FDIC. Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file. Fees apply at out of network ATMs. Bank ranking and number of ATMs according to US News and World Report 2023 chime check and account required. This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful

is sponsored by BetterHelp. There's been a lot of talk lately about the concept of masculinity, especially in regard to mental health. According to a recent study, six million men in the U.S. suffer from depression every year, and it's often undiagnosed because they keep it secret. If you're a man and you think that real men

don't occasionally struggle with mental health, you'd be they keep it secret. If you're a man and you think that real men don't occasionally struggle with mental health, you'd be wrong. Opening up about what you're going through and doing something about it can help you be your best self for both you and everyone in your life. Everyone, no matter what your sex or gender, should have someone to talk to,

whether that's a friend, a loved one, or a therapist. I've used therapy multiple times throughout my life, and it has helped immensely. Talking to a neutral party can really help shed light on the problems in your life no matter if they're big or small. Sometimes it's just nice to talk to a neutral third party about your daily challenges. Your family and friends are always a tad biased. With a therapist however, they're not concerned about whether or not you'll be inviting them to the Fourth of July barbecue. Now listen people, BetterHelp helped me and

they can help you too. All from the comfort of your couch, your car, or even your backyard barbecue. You can easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost and it's fully online, making therapy much more affordable and even more convenient. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals

with a diverse variety of expertise. If you're going through something, talk it out, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. If you're going through something, talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash bald. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash bald. Hey everyone, I'm Carlos and I'm the host of Jumper Jum podcast.

I just wanted to take a quick break to let you know that Amazon Prime Day is coming. That's right people July 8th through the 11th you can shop for some of the best deals of the year on Amazon and it's not just one not two not even three but four days of epic deals. If you've been waiting for the right moment to finally grab that one or a few items you've had your eye on forever. This is it. Prime Day is coming.

I've been trying to level up in the kitchen, no more burnt eggs or overcooked pastas, or using the same busted pan for every meal. I've been saying I'm going to upgrade for months, and Prime Day is the perfect opportunity to catch a great deal. I've had my eye on some real legit pro level pans, and now I'm pulling the trigger. Time to actually cook like I know what I'm doing. Whether it's something practical or just something fun, there's never been a perfect time to hit add to cart. Four days, tons of deals, all for Prime members.

Don't wait. Shop great deals this Prime Day, July 8th through the 11th. Let me ask you why. I go to the gym, this lovely gym, and I go in the pool and I look around and there's like 65 people around on the pool deck chairs and I'm the only one in the water. Are they not coming in because of my dirty ass?

No, they want the sun. They're there for the sun. The vitamin D, everybody in LA is depressed. I was there for 90 minutes. Everybody in LA is depressed. I was in the water for 90 minutes like La Llorona. I don't believe it. I don't believe it. You don't believe it?

I could corroborate this with any, with 65 witnesses. Do you swim or do you float? I do both of them. Sometimes I sit there. Do you play on the phone? Absolutely not. Phone's in the locker. I like to put both arms on the side of the pool and play on the phone.

But I don't put the, the phone never goes over the water. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. Even though I think the new iPhone can handle like six feet of submergence. Well, this whore, this little slut, this little slut was submerged for nine days. This slut, this fucking, this fucking coos. Yeah!

Coos is the worst. But then you stuck your finger in my coos and fucked me so hard I couldn't remember my name. Did you see Sinners yet? No. You gotta watch it. I'm trying to see Final Destination right now. Me too.

That's my top priority. I am surprised that we did not get invited to a premiere. Mary, do you know who's already seen it? Yeah, I know. My mother. I said, she said, can I, I called her last night and I wanted to tell her. How does Val get tickets to Final Destination early? Well, I wanted to tell her, hey, I got, oh. Big.

Did you just break the chair? No. What the fuck? Okay, big. At my present. You fat bitch. Damn. Okay, wait, how does that all get to see final destination?

So I called Val last night just to give her, you know, she was kind of encouraging me to, you know, make sure that we finished the move. I'm not trying to, if people don't have the right apartment yet, I'm not like, we don't have the type of relationship where I'm throwing we finish the move. I'm not trying to, if people don't have the right apartment yet, I'm not like, we don't have the type of relationship where I'm throwing shit on the street. So it's like keeping someone's stuff safe in your house

until it's time to go. And I called my mom to let her know that that chapter had ended. And she was like, can I let you go? I'm watching a movie. And I said, what movie are you watching today? That new Final Destination, your cousin Jada got it for us online.

Got it online? They all watching bootleg videos. I am so impressed. Bootleg final destination movies. It's so hard to procure those. She probably gets them on the dark web. Mama, I called her this morning because I said you didn't want to talk to me yesterday so let me finish my story.

And then I said, it's noon. I said, it sounds like your words are slurring. Did you just wake up? She goes, I'm really high. Oh my God. Your mom is a kiki. She's a wild kiki for sure. Can I tell you?

Val. I have something that I don't know who else to talk to about it. But I- Did you kill a homeless person? This is my, I've been in therapy for a couple years. Okay. And I've stopped now.

Wait, really? And I've never thought about at some point you stop. How do you stop? How do you talk to a therapist about stopping? Okay. What do you think about that? Okay, there's, I know this, because I have a lot of therapist friends who actually, that's their job. And it's obvious that you stop often.

You stop therapy often. Well, literally had a psychiatry appointment today where I mentioned that I stopped seeing my therapist because I was happy. There's today? Not, not today. My psychiatry appointment my therapist because I was happy. Which is not, not my psychiatry appointments today. I am psychic. Yeah. I have, so- I'm psychic.

There's, wait. Don't even get me started on the psychic occurrence from last week. Oh, I know. We can't, we gotta keep that under wraps because we're taking that to the casino. Yeah. So, so I thought my therapist text me and said,

we haven't really had regular appointments in like two months. Yeah. Do you want to talk about how to cadence, like how to put a period on this? Yeah, what's the rollout? What's the timeline? And I didn't know because I don't know how,

you shouldn't just stop. Well, usually what you do with a therapist is say, what are you looking for? Are you looking for a problem solving timeline? Are you looking for a general maintenance? What's the vibe? And once you guys like, you make a battle plan, you create a timeline and then you

can work on, Hey, it's like, it's like doing a job. It's like renovating your brain or whatever. But I know a lot of people who want to be in therapy forever. Interesting. Because it's like, it's maintenance. They're like, they need a professional who's not their friend to like bounce shit off of, and it does it like happy, sad, mad, or glad or whatever. You got to like look under the hood.

We don't have to, but I mean, it can be helpful. I went and I said, I don't really know how to stop this. What do you do? And he was like, um, he was like, well, we talk about the gains you've made and how that you should apply those in the future. And it was like very nice to be out when When you put a stop to the care process, you can give a nice, strong thank you. Things can have an ending.

It was very gratifying to be able to say, I mean this, you know. Yeah. I don't want to blow up his spot, but he probably doesn't watch this, but I was very grateful for years and years of getting me through the hardest time of my life. And I said, I don't want, I said,

I just want to stop because I'm so happy. I don't even know what to talk to when I come here. That's a good thing. Cause I've been in that situation many times where like, I go to the, like you're, there's nothing left to talk about it. Yeah. You've finished, you've like discussed the thing plus like,

like my stuff, I have like a whole other thing that I can go to. Right. I mean, but like the, yeah. You don't want to pathologize behaviors just for the sake of it. No. You kind of find yourself doing that sometimes, it's weird.

But the first half of getting therapeutic help was asking myself questions about, do I need help? How do I start? Who would I talk to? And the end of it was like, do I stop? What do I say? And what if the therapist is like, You wanna stop?

Yeah, I honestly was afraid that he would be like... Girl. I mean, sometimes they... I guess it also depends on the style of therapy. DBT, CBT... Cock and ball torture? Cock and ball torture. Diabolical ball torture.

I never thought about how to stop and then you just stop. Or if you're a New Yorker You always go to therapy you do. Yeah, it's like the New York thing. Oh Wendy well, no, I haven't seen it. Is it is it gonna make me like upset because it's exploitative Well, some of the people talking about it's sort of a free Brittany a free Wendy. So it's kind of talking about her mental acuity. It's people who've been her producers, her friends, her stylists, whatever. Okay.

Is it pro Wendy? It's pro Wendy. It's pro Wendy. I mean, all of us are pro Wendy in the sense of this motherfucker has the gift of gab. She is doing the hot topics. She is, you know. No, but I can't you envision or imagine

a pretty sizable population of people who like wanna see that bitch cut down because she was a gossip monger? But that doesn't have anything to do with her mental health. Whether or not you like her. Of course not, no, no, no, it doesn't. But I'm just saying that there are, she's not a universally loved person.

Have you ever heard the call with Whitney Houston in her? Of course I have. It's crazy, Whitney takes her wig and fucking slaps her in the face with it. What's fun about Wendy is that when people call her out, she is like, I said it. I'll say it again. Yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? She's unapologetic. Yeah. She's kind of in the Kathy Griffin tribe of like, Kathy can't be like, no, I didn't say that. Right, right, right. There's a special of her saying it. It's like, you can admit to being a cunt,

but you're still a cunt. Right. And I guess, you know, as much as sometimes I have been in times in my life where I wish I could snap my fingers, like last summer, I wish I could snap my fingers and not have everybody interested in my personal life. But when you are a huge celebrity, huge, the people at home watching Wendy

also are talking about you. Everyone's talking about you. So I think it's like a two way street. Where's the line though? Like where's the line? Well, it's tough. I mean, I don I think it's like a... Where's the line though? Like where's the line? Well, it's tough. I don't think it's very fun or productive to watch a crazy person just banging the walls

in a goldfish tank. No, and I guess they were talking about conservatorship as a whole and they were saying, what conservatorship does at its best is like take care of a person who can't take care of themselves. Like it's meant to be beneficial. I care a lot.

Right. And so they talk about the problem with conservatorships is it's very easy to abuse those scenarios. And they're not directly alleging that that's being abused, but they kind of ask the question is like, if Wendy is someone who has like the mental acuity to recall all these like pop culture things at any moment and talk,

you watch these scenes where she's behind glass and she's in a memory care facility for people who can't remember who they are. I know. And she's in there being like, I'm on the, I don't know how to get out of here. I'm just like talking on the phone. She, I heard she called into the view and I listened to that conversation. It was very strange and it was like, yeah, it was just like, what's going on here? It's tough too when the person is, you know, exorbitantly wealthy and surrounded by people who make money off them. Yeah.

And also, two things can be true at the same time. You can be someone, they can be looking out for you and also themselves. Right. You know what I mean? Like, we want to make sure she's safe. I also want some money. It's also possible to say that someone

doesn't need a conservatorship, but they do need some help. Absolutely. It's not zero to 100 that someone doesn't need a conservatorship, but they do need some help. Absolutely. It's not zero to 100. I love Wendy and I loved the last Wendy piece, that series documentary about her, and I had to watch this one. And I love Wendy and I, like, as a viewer and fan and supporter, want the best for her.

We don't fucking know her. We don't. We don't know her. James! We're just watching. What was that? Yeah, we don't for her. We don't fucking know her. We don't. We do not know her. James, we're just watching. What was that? Yeah, we don't know her. I know the Wendy Cinematic Universe, courtesy of Vern Hess, that's all I know.

What is that? What's that YouTube called again? It's... They kind of have connective tissue to head V empty. Yes, it's that energy. What is it? It's, anyways, it's the Wendy Cinematic Universe. I can't urge you strongly enough to check it out.

Maybe I will. You haven't checked out this one? No, I've seen them on YouTube. Oh, the Vernonator. Vernonator, yes. Check out the Vernonator. I think he's retired that. But anyways, it's so great.

And God. Love. But wait, I have to tell you very briefly. I'll keep it very brief. I had one of the weirdest, most horrifying nightmares. It was so specific, I just need to say it out loud. What happened? I was in the Louisiana swamp Bayou area

and I was getting tortured by a hillbilly family that worked for a Vietnamese nail company. Like nails? No, like my body was getting tortured in the water by an alligator. And then my fingers were getting like chopped off and sold to a nail shop for like hand mannequins. Who would try to sell something by putting it on your hands? I know!

My little nubs, because they like picked them apart. And it was like happening in slow motion and I could feel every like thing of the, it was horrible. God. But if they threw me in the swamp and then the alligators would eat up my like body and then they'd take the nails and give them to the nail shop. Or the fingers rather. Did you wake up like, like, ha ha ha?

Yeah, in a big puddle of drool. I keep falling asleep on the couch. Do you think that's bad? Spending it on the couch? Yeah, it's not good. You shouldn't do that. No. What position do you sleep in generally? If you're going to bed, on the bed.

Well, I'm kind of like, there's a lit joint in this hand. You're very Ellen Barkan in Drop Dead Gorgeous. Very much so, very much so. And also lately, my only strategy to not eat when I'm high is to play video games. So you will fucking see me at 1130. Sure.

85 inch TV. Three inches from it. Playing Breath of the Wild on the Switch, swerving. You don't eat in bed though, do you? Of course not. Oh, okay. They're gonna say of course they do. Eat in bed?

I don't know. I mean, I used to smoke in bed. You did? I have done. Cigarettes? In my bed I have. Why? Not usually, I used to smoke in bed. You did? I have done. Cigarettes? In my bed, I have. Why? Not usually, but in the living room, yeah.

Disgusting. The most vile behavior ever. Vile, disgusting. How's your non-smoking going? I was gonna say, I need to make a disclaimer. I was, I smoked a cigarette in public Wednesday night, and I felt such guilt. And I just have to give it to you.

Cause you feel like you're lying to America. Yeah. I don't feel. But the X program isn't about. It's not about being like, I know, but I, I'm, I'm so like, I love the guilt. I love it. I felt so ashamed. I felt so ashamed. Did you feel like, you feel like a celebrity getting paparazzi? I did. I like, I was literally at a meeting and I was like, I, I. You went to a meeting. Yeaharazzi. I did I like I was literally at a meeting I was like I you went to a meeting. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, I'm not

Not so we see you leave the meeting we see you smoke and we go fuck that bitch But I might as well just shoot up these people who don't know me don't care about me are like whatever we don't care By the way, these people are also like I only have a day Sober I'm on the brink of death and you're like, I smoked. Yeah, I'm having a cigarette guys. Please don't call the program. This is an NA meeting. There's no tobacco anonymous.

You fucking ho. Tobacco is the lifeblood of all beatings, to be honest. Have you felt that like, do you have a trigger with that stuff? What is it? Cause I've noticed that when we're working, that's when you get wild. Well, it's the, in drag, it's the worst. It sucks. Thank God it never worked.

Because, like... It sucks. No, it sucks. Like, I... That is a pattern that's really, like, grooved. I just want a break. Like, if we're doing Netflix, in between episodes, not smoke against torture. You... I've seen you step out of this and smoke between two. Something about being on and then a break,

you want to smoke. I love a punctuation mark. Or like a colon. You also smoke in drag before shows. I've seen you step out of this and smoke between two. Something about being on and then a break, you'd wanna smoke. I love a punctuation mark or like a colon. You also smoke and drag before shows. Before we go on stage. During, after, smoke, disgusting. This fucker would be hanging out the stage door. It was like Chicago.

The overture would be going and you'd be like, would the body make on? I would go after, I would be panting, sweating, like covered in sweat, panting after my number directly outside a cigarette God's perfect breathing system. Yeah, I was like, I think my lungs work too. Well, I need to throw a little wrench in that system Right. Yeah, but I have not been smoking to my chagrin, but I did have a cigarette in public the other day And I felt a huge guilt and shame over it

Well, I I don't think you're the first person to ever say they're not gonna smoke and then smoke. Yeah, I just don't wanna, like, you know what it is? It's like also, I don't wanna... How many a day are you smoking? Zero. Okay, so this is like a... Oh no, this is like real, I've like literally almost...

You don't think I feel bad about it? No, but I'm just saying like one cigarette, cause people often say I'm a smoker or I'm a nonsmoker. It's black and white, which I don't subscribe to that. It's like you kill one guy. It's like, you're not a murderer. Right. Or if I have one spicy McChicken blackout drunk,

I'm still a vegetarian. Hello. That's hypothetical. Yeah. But like, so I just, but I do love that that, it's not exactly a ironclad, a layer of accountability, but it's working Yeah, it's the I don't want to smell like shit and I don't want to feel that guilt Can I smell you? Mm-hmm?

You don't smell like smoke at all because I haven't had a cigarette you usually have when you get close I smell like disgusting No, you don't recap cigarettes. It's just sort of like Smoky like you were in the Egypt store at the mall Well, that's yeah, because if you choose the right fragrance, then you smell like a cigar. Oh, cause then it's like the smoke is part of it. Yeah.

But I am like, I'm retroactively ashamed of all the times I've got into a squeaky clean, Uber black smelling like the cat's ass. Well, I've been trying not to be drunk and hungover. Like my current goal of this age is to not be hungover. You have to drink less. Okay. So that's how they get you. That's how they get you. So this was, this was two weeks ago. I, did we talk about this? Buffy trivia? No, we didn't. Okay. So two

weeks ago, it was a Monday. I'm out on my long walk. I like to go for walks right now because my arthritis is in remission. So I've been running. It's been great. Ran two miles this morning. Ran through. Ran through. And so I walked by High Tops Los Feliz, one of my favorite gay bars in LA. Love High Tops Los Feliz.

Me too. It's crazy that we all say Los Feliz. What is it? Los Feliz? Probably, yeah. Los Feliz. Yeah. So I'm walking by and I go, you know what?

I'm with my friend and I go, let's go in and just get a drink. Let's get a cocktail. Right. It's like, I love to go on my walk and then walk by a bar and be like, what? You know, both nipples out.

What? In a way, New York City was the fifth girl I've watched. I look at my watch, it's like 0.43 miles. And just like that. I got exhausted. So we go in and we get a little drink and they have this great drink called the hot rod that's made with a spicy vodka or spicy tequila.

It's like it's jalapeno tequila. Is that going to give you? No, no, I'm good. I have the great poppy. That's right. So, um, and then one of the bar they know me all there because I DJ there. And so they come up and they go, are you here for trivia? I go, no, I was just like walking by.

What's the trivia category? And they go, oh, tonight is Buffy the vampire slippery trip trivia. I said, I stood up, I unbuttoned my pants, I pulled the underwear and the pants down and I started going like this. Dangling. And so whipping that.

But mind you, it's 5.30. Trivia's not til eight. And so I go, well, we better get another round because we're not giving up this table, all right? This is East Hollywood. Those lesbians will come in here and take this table. All right? And I am nothing if not someone who feels comfortable

taking things from women, right? Not true, not true. But I knew because it's Buffy trivia, I'm not generalizing, but I'm like, it's gonna be a bunch of geeky gay guys. And like, lesbians. And we're all gonna be in here fighting to the death to see who remembers which middling character from a random episode.

So, and then people start showing up in the Buffy t-shirts. Somebody shows up with a steak. People have cross necklaces on. Any vampires? No. No. And then they start trivia. They in the Buffy t-shirts. Somebody shows up with a steak. People have cross necklaces on. Any vampires? No. And then they start trivia. They start the Buffy theme.

Me and the East Hollywood lesbians are... Turning it up. Turning it up to 11. We're horned. We're horned. We're horned. Your back sounds like Buffy. Completely.

So then they start. The first round is really easy questions. I mean, so then I go, I got to assemble the dream team. So it's six o'clock and I go watch this. I'm with my friend who's only seen five seasons of Buffy. I call Jennifer from Netflix. Okay. She's a Buffy person? She loves Buffy.

Really? Yeah, she loves Buffy. So I go, get down here. And then I go, should I do it? You better believe I called her. Sarah Michelle Geller? No, I called Tom Lank from Buffy the Vampire Slayer who plays Andrew. And I go... Wait, that's such a flex. And I go, would you come down here?

It's Buffy trivia and I'm trying to win. And I wonder if you'll know some of the weird shit like what network or what time of year, stuff that maybe only actors remember. And he goes, okay. So he comes down with his lovely boyfriend, Steve, and he's in a hat and glasses, so no one recognizes him. And I leave him the chair that faces away from the room. So I'm facing the whole room. So people just think it's, oh, that's

Trixie. She's here, block her all the time. She's gross. Right? We hate her. So that Tom is facing away from everyone. And so no one's clocking his non-binary T. And with his T on the show? He played Andrew, who was like a main character, beloved, like, people loved him. Very well known. Yes, especially Gaze loved him. Gotcha. Okay. So, I got my dream team, right? Somebody who's seen five seasons, somebody who's seen the whole thing a couple times, Jennifer.

Yeah. And then somebody's been on it, right? And I think, I'm really bringing it. And I go, Tom, if you ever want to go to Drag Race Trivia, I'll go with you. He's like, I don't, and I don't care. And you would not be any good. And you don't know anything, bitch. So.

He would be terrible. Because they're always like, they're always like, who wore this last season? I'm always like, fuck. And even on Pit Stop, I only see it once. I know. So we start. We get the whole first category.

Got it. No one can touch me, right? Of course. And then we have to, you have to come up with a name for trivia. And in Buffy, they call their group the Scooby Gang. And I go, Scooby Gang Bang. That's fun. Sure. They call me up there and they go,

somebody else is Scooby Gang Bang. So one of you has to change your name. And I said, well, where's the other team? They said, they haven't come up here yet. I said, well, again, they're changing their names. Okay. But also I'm on the patio and the system to me was not loud enough.

So every time there's a question, people are drinking and chatting. I'm standing on a chair going, shh. Shhh. Shut up. I'm straining to hear the questions. Okay. I thought, I've seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer

probably 50 times in my life, the whole series. 50? Maybe not, that sounds crazy. That's a little crazy. Let's say when I was a teenager, probably twice a year every year and then probably once a year every year after that. the whole series. 50. Maybe not. That sounds crazy. That's a little crazy. Let's say when I was a teenager, probably twice a year every year and then probably once a year every year after that. So what?

25 times I've seen the show. 25 is a lot. I feel like. I've seen it that many times. I don't know what to say. I'm gross. You know everything about the show. Hell pig.

I'm a hell pig who knows everything about the show. Hell pig. Hell pig. Hell pig! Yeah, so I'm humbled because I think I know this shit. If you think you know Buffy, you have not met an East Hollywood lesbian and the geeky gay friend. These fuckers know everything. They came for your ass.

They know everything. They know everything. They're asking shit that I'm like, what about, sorry. They're asking shit like, all right. And to me it's like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it was a TV show. It took place in California.

Who is the first mayor of California? That is not Buffy. I know that's not. This is a trick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a trick. Who put the, you know, I just, you know, get mad. Yeah, you know what would be so fierce though? Because these are the same kind of people

who would know more about you than you know about you. And of course, like any actor in a show, Tom knows almost nothing. Right. Tom can't remember. It's in one ear and out the other. Tom's like, I know what I was in, on the seasons I was in, I don't really know much else.

And so I was like, you're probably even pulling your goddamn dead weight and you're not even pulling your goddamn dead weight and you're not even famous enough to get us some free drinks. What the fuck? Do you win anything? I got so drunk that I don't remember when it ended. I don't know how I got home.

And we're back. I was so hungover. I woke up yelling. I woke up on the couch going, and then what happens is I get hungover and I start, I get mad at myself for being hungover and I go, let's go to trivia. Ah!

Like I start being mad at myself. Oh, let's have a drink at trivia. Oh, let's have five of them, you fucking asshole. I love that. I get so mad at myself. I love that. That's fierce. But it was fun.

I would go to another Buffy trivia. Did you puke in that hangover or you just felt like shit? I didn't puke. I didn't puke. I just felt like shit. I hate puking. It's just awful. Being hungover is awful.

Drinking is so fun. But you do gotta, you gotta keep your eyes on the road cause I'm driving. Is it? You know. But cocaine. That's why they make cocaine. You gotta dry up.

That's why they invented cocaine. My question dry up. That's why they invented cocaine. My question to you before, I know we have to wrap. My question to you is, if you were gonna go to a trivia where you were as confident as I was, what's the show? Oh, baby. Sweet tea. Hold on one moment. What's the show?

The show, it's not a show. It's the 2000, it's the Sydney, it is the women's gymnastics all around final at the 2000 Sydney Olympics. And you think that there's gonna be a trivia night for that? No, I don't. But if there were, honey, the bravado that I would bring, the swagger that I would have, the insufferable quality of my personality at that trivia night would be too stifling.

I, we have to get, you have to get a job at the Olympics in LA. No, no. With gymnastics. Here's the thing though, the thing about gymnastics is like, it's better, You don't want the local crossies doing like coverage? No, they're so conservative.

Oh. It's like a, it's like a middle America young girls sport. It's weird. Right. But, but the, the, I'm trying to think of what a, Oh, it's like it's like a middle-america young girls sport Right, but but but the the I'm trying to think of what a Oh VEEP You would win a trivia night of VEEP. Yeah, I've watched the whole series front to back maybe five times. Okay, or curb Curb VEEP probably more so what about Game of Thrones? There's so much to know though There's so and you can't compete with the Game of Thrones nerds. Oh Oh no, no, no, cause they end up getting born in the game. Yeah, they're born in the game. Yeah, what about...

I honestly feel like I could do Drag Race seasons one through seven. Cause after I did it, I kind of like, you know, don't always watch it. Yeah, I would be so bad at Drag Race. I think we should go. Okay, well goodbye. Bye. Hey, it's Bobby from the Really Good Podcast.

I don't get excited about much, but I am counting down the days because Prime Day is coming. From July 8th through 11th, Prime members can shop some of the best deals of the year on Amazon. Prime Day is now four whole days, basically a lifetime in internet years, which means more time for spontaneous finds you'll feel great about. I've been using the same curling iron since high school. It smokes and somehow I'm still here saying she's fine. On Prime Day, beauty products like fancy curlers will

be on a deal because it's finally time to retire the vintage fire hazard I've been clinging to. Whether it's a sleek new kitchen gadget or something stylish and sparkly, Prime Day is your moment to explore and discover your next favorite Amazon find. So don't forget, shop great deals this Prime Day, July 8th through 11th. Get ready to treat yourself, you'll be glad you did.