The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Some Like It Hot & Flaky

Episode Date: August 4, 2026

Hey there, homemakers: why serve your hungry brood another dreary, bare-faced supper when the smart modern cook can tuck beef, chicken, ham, veggie dogs, Cyclospora-laden lettuce, and even yesterday��s leftovers into a snug little blanket of golden, buttery, feather-flaky pastry? With one gay whirl of the rolling pin, you can turn an ordinary Tuesday meal into an Atomic Age taste sensation that makes Junior clean his plate, Sis sit up straight, and your hard-working hubby forget the traffic, the boss, and that third highball with his mistress at Grand Central Station. So wrap it, crimp it, pop it into the oven, and serve your family a piping-hot parcel of domestic triumph, because nothing says “Welcome home, dear!” like concealing an entire dinner inside several hundred calories of shortening. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Yesterday we were literally on a photo shoot. I don't want to say for what? It was for the cover of it. Magazine. Town and country. We've been shooting for, and of course, we're always on time. So we're both sitting there ready at noon or whatever. And we're shooting for maybe two hours.

And she's starting to go, I don't know if I have one more look in me. It's just almost over. And she goes, I go, once the next time you have to do drag after this, she goes, end of September. But see, that's not the point because when you live in the moment. But you looked beautiful. Thank you. We just had, I think maybe my favorite photo shoot we've ever done. I did love the, love the, um, we had a thing where she's up, I don't want to give it all away, but a thing where she's up, I'm on the floor upside down. I'm on top of her. It was so cool.

It was a great moment for my thoracic spine. Oh my God. But can we, can I do an imitation of, so sorry, oh, I'm so sorry. We're also playing with proportions right now with the studio. Right now, feels like we're in the shrunken studio because the camera feels right here. It's right there. And it's also highlighting my weight game. Hello. So I have to do an invitation of you at the photo shoot. So there's this part where they go, Katie, we're going to have you get on the ground. And mind you, this is my sister who is typically nubile. She's typically.

Agile. If no one's bothering me. Not new bile agile. Typically she's like, if no one's bother. If I have a moment, I'm going to do a handstand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If no one's around, I'm just going to do a jump split and like stretch. So this whore, Mitch McConnell.

This was her getting on the floor for this photo shoots. Imagine her and drag her. She goes, oh. Oh. She's not vocalizing enough. It was like, oh. And then we're like waiting for her to get on her back and she goes, just give me a second.

Just give me a second. And I was like, 10 minutes later. Did they have to break for lunch mid-stretch? Oh, maybe we have to break for lunch now. I thought you were saying we have to break for lunch now. I was like, Jesus. Tracey's like, good story. Stop.

The story. The Taco Bell's here. So then once she gets on the ground, then she has to flip over. So then it was like, oh. And then 10 minutes later, when it's time for her to get up. Oh, getting up was hard.

We had to call the Johns of Life, the flight for life. It was Lee Kronin's The Get Up. It was really was. The sound of you getting up was like, well, because if you're, you know, because some People Dead rises. Evil Dead. Kind of rises. Struggles to rise.

Yeah, it was, it was great. It was like to smack to you when he said, oh, I don't have to be in drag again until end of September. I think you have one more look in you. Okay. Yeah, okay. Yeah. You don't have to shave for two months.

I think you're okay. I know. Thank God. God, God. You don't got to do drag for like two months. No, no, I do. Secret outfits. Secret drag. Secret outfits at home. I knew. No, I'm not just a secret. No, I'm not. My yuckies are all discontinued.

So I, oh, I got to tell you about this. You don't own any drag. That's the other thing. We're doing a photo shoot. She shows up with her one suitcase and drag. One suitcase, half full. And when Fita was over to, like, pack me up, I, we were, like, we were rummaging through empty drawers. Like, like, no, we're the whole... Which one should we wear?

They're both so different. They're not even there. It's empty hangers. But we go in there's a whole bureau. Every drawer is empty. Every drawer is empty. And then you're feeling robbed. And I was like, I was like, who took all my time?

Even though you sold it two weeks ago. I know. But then we opened a drawer and I had to like, she went to like go grab. I was like, no! And I had to yank her hand away because it was all the unmentionable yucky. The secret yuckies. The secret yuckies. If you know, if you have secret.

You have a secret activities at home That you're not that you're not their secret for a reason Right They're secret for reason because they're embarrassing These are legit That it's get I have I really can't encourage people enough To get an embarrassing hobby

Because it's so excited I don't think it's in big No no no no no no I'm not So if I opened the door in the UPS guy was there I wouldn't be like hello lover I'd be like ah Oh so you like having something that's like your little secret It's my little secret.

And it's in. So, but I, when I went to San Diego and I had, I had some meat. Did you bring the yuckeys to the man? No. You went to fuck that man with your secret yuckies? I would never. I brought them for me. We did bring them?

I brought them for me. I brought them for me. But then I, and I had a lovely, so the, the hotel had just a nook with a full length. I was like, this is the yucky nook. You don't you put on Cheebo motto, sugar water? So I put on the yucky and I was like, he-haw. No. The yuckies have been discontinued.

What? Because body like, wow. Body like, what? Pussy about to end this drought. Body like, wow. Body like wow. It was very boogie night. It was very boogie night.

Wow. Very boogie night well. Was she fucking you? Oh, no. No, she wasn't fucking. Chastity belt. I hope no one fucks me

I thought Wait chastity is to Is that the cage No no the chastity is that Don't you dare Don't you dare Don't you dare But how

The cage is like a bird cage This is like a whole A metal panty Is it like Robin Hood Minentite? Yes Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah remember Tracy Elman As the witch was named Latrine

Amazing Oh yeah Amazing Or I think it's in scary movie When her panties Are like electric fence That's a chastity That's a chastity device

That's kind of fun. So no more yuckies for me. So it's a real shame because I have this whole, I have this diamond, not diamond, rhinestone encrusted thong that is. You can say diamond. I believe women.

Nobody knows. Nobody knows. Nobody knows. Tracy's going to plug your microphone. That's not a diamond faggot. It's pubic zirconium. Yeah, pubic. Pubic.

Pubic. You fat. You fat. Body like, wow. So I can't do the yucky thing, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

It's fine. You know, yes, you can. No, no, no, but no, but so the thrill is gone. The thrill is gone because it's just giving Homer Simpson and negligee. Right. And can I say, though, body, body positivity? I am very happy in my new husky refrain. You look incredible.

This is the healthiest and youngest you've looked in a long time. In like 25 years. I'm saying like your face, your skin. We're in this photo sheet yesterday in drag. This morning I was awake. I woke up and I was talking to Mr. Wonderful. I said, I said, do you think? I think it is over, is it inappropriate to tell somebody who's having like a huge swing in the wellness category.

That they've looked like shit. Or does it feel placating or what do you call it patronizing? No, it's not patronizing at all or any of the end of that stuff. It's just wonderful. Because lately it's been like really crazy. I just don't know you this well. Like I don't know you on this level of wellness very well. Right.

It's like a completely different person. It feels great. Physically. It feels great. You look so young. Also for how much you exercise. Keep talking. Now that you are eating the muscles, you're huge.

Yeah. Well, now I'd fuck you. I'm serious. Now you're approaching a body type that I actually am like, yeah, him. Well, so that's funny. I, and I. But now I don't get the yuckies. No yucky.

No, no neon pink sling yuckies. Nasty gal. Hollywood Boulevard. You know those like neon dresses all the holes in them? I know. The one that like, that, like, do I live in Spain? The one that like Fifi was eliminated in.

Yes, that's me except with the nails. Oh, no. I like, I like, I was talking to Fina. She, she, she, Fina is always good for just, just putting you back right on earth or right in real life. Do you know what I mean? Because I was, I, she's like, I called her in a, I called her, when I had my revelations, I call her immediately.

And she's like, well, or. Or we could just think about this regular. So I was like, what if I skip? You know, I've obviously aged out of twink. It never really was one for the last 30 years. So I was like, what if I become a bear? She's like, or you could just have a regular body. Fina, a toxic skinny person.

I know. Toxic skinny. She said she's like, now I'm a toxic skinny person. But you know what she has to? Like, don't ever have too much whimsy or joy. Don't, don't clear outside your lines because Fina will tie a brick to your leg and throw you in the water. Fina's like, is that what you want? Because I'm going to tell you, you're never going to get it.

Not on my watch. But also, she's so theriped and so grounded that she's always right. And so it's always like, well, fuck you, bitch. Yeah, I was like, but what about my revelation? I know. And she's like, well, why don't we do one thing at a time? You know what I mean? That is the biggest.

She's like, why don't we focus on this thing that we're needed? Actually, we're late for right now. Well, let's just get it. And she'll just say it. And the older she's gotten to, the more she just, there's not even cushioning. She's not sandwiching. He's not sandwiching a compliment. She's like, well, let's just not do that right now.

It's fierce. But I, so I, oh my God, I almost followed this guy. I followed this guy like the killer. I was in the car. Online? I was in the car. No, no, in real life. Okay.

I was in the car driving. And I, I'm very attracted to this, this regular body type, I suppose, you'd say. The muscles are amazing. We need to talk about that later. Love muscles. We got to talk about that. We got to talk about it at the, the dog dancers and stuff at the dance night. But this guy was like black beard.

he looked kind of goth he's dressed kind of goth and had a hat and was like oh my god this is like my dream man so I followed him for three blocks in your car

he was on foot but you were in the car I was in the car so I was in the car it was very that I was the big tall naked guy on the roof I was on the roof

to see wait you're in the car were you on the sidewalk I was on the roof of the car I was I had arm extenders going down on the pedals in this area with my knee on the steering wheel

You pull up onto the curb. You're driving down Rodeo. Just two inches behind him. No. So I was... But you're an electric and EV so it's silent. Silent. And I was like closing my eyes so you couldn't see me.

And I was like... One of the big fears if you're like, oh. If he looks at you driving, you go, ooh. I do love that thing. But wait, wait. If I can't see you, you can't see me. Obsess. Peekaboo.

Peekaboo. So I saw him and I was like, oh my God. That guy's so hot. And then I was driving and I was like, well, there's nobody in back of me. There's nobody in front of me. I'm going to the sides. I crawled.

And then I looked at the rear room mirror and I waited for him to get the, and then he turned the corner. I was like, oh, I guess I'll turn the corner. And I turned the corner and I followed him for like three blocks. Remember people, the number's 911. Okay. And I wanted to do the thing where I was like,

I rolled down the window, but it's like the back left and then the back mine and then the other one. And then I get the right one. And then I'm like, excuse. me, may I offer you a ride? Who knows? I mean, that would have been probably crazy. It was blazing high. It would have been probably creepy to say. Oh, a creepier's hell. But I don't believe you were being creepy, but I'm saying it would

also. I got my cars filled with junk. Fill with boxes. And then there was the, the, the, the passengers. No drag, though. No drag. No. Hangers. You got those human wigs and those boots in there still. I got like, I got sewing needles and everything. And then the whole passenger side was filled with trash. So I was like, well, maybe that's not the time. But he was so hot. And just, gave me... That's...

Bricked. Bricked. And I was like, God, good for you. And he was probably straight. I mean, I don't know. I don't think straight, gay, whatever.

We'll all lose... You know what? I don't want to talk... I have... I don't want to say who because it's... Okay. But he told me...

I don't think he'd be embarrassed to me telling his tea, actually. He said, like, he's told himself to stop deciding if someone is or isn't gay. Oh, yes. He's like, I need to... That's not our... Yes. He said, like, I want to get better at going up to someone and saying, like, how you're

are handsome? them, are you dating anybody? Like, that is okay. And then the person can just say, oh, I'm actually not gay. And that's mine. Yeah. And what if they're not identifying as anything? And what if you just come up and they are attracted to you?

You don't know people's tea. You don't. And, again, let me tell you what about, let me tell you the tea I do know about Tutsi is that my good friend of mine and then another friend. What about their long-term lovely relationships monogamy style that were with men who had previously dated women only. Yeah. Boo-boo-boo-boo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo.

Boop, boop, boop. Well, that's okay. That's what I want. I want a divorce dad. I know. I do. I want children, not mine. I think you would do really well

with somebody else's kids. I would, I would, live in or like, 12 minutes a month? Absolutely. 12 minutes a month, 12 enticing. Take him to Dave and Busters.

I'll take him to Rodeo drive. I'll take him to Six Flags. I'll take him to, not Disney World, can't smoke, but I'll take him anywhere they want to go besides Disney World. Would you date a guy who had a pet? Yes, I'm not a monster.

Okay. I wouldn't, if I, if I were able to draw my own destiny to the detail, I'd be like, maybe why are you petting that dog? I'm right here. What about this thick black coat? What about this fur? This glossy fur. Your lower back. Yes.

What about my calves riddled with madden hair? I'm at the point where I, what about my matted hairy calves? When people see me without a shirt on, I'm at the point where I first thing I do is apologize about my lower back. Shut up. It's the hairiest part of my body. Why don't you get her W-A-X-E-D? Not interested. Well, because I went to get...

You ever... You know what? My boyfriend would call me a whore. He would say, who you do that for? Do you understand? I go. Oh, yeah. He would say, oh, well, here he goes.

Here he goes. He says airbrushed and eagle spread. Oh, my God. That's what he said. I was put... If I put on, like, concealer before we're going to the gay club, he's like, Hollywood Frost for the men? For the dick-sucking convention?

Yeah, the cock-sucking facility. He calls it. The guy bar. The cock-fuck. The cock sucking facility. Oh, so you got wax. No, you know what? He was out of town.

The cock-suck-sack-hings facility. The wandering eye. Oh, yeah, the wandering eye. You know if I'm like using the pool while the gardener's there? You're asking for it. Oh, what are you showing everything, Joel, what you got? Showing everything, what you got. Crazy.

Showing everything. What you got. He was out of town and I went to Akbar with Daniel Vincent Gord, you know, friend of. DBG. DBG, yes. And we went and we were going to go to my fave, Los Felas High Tops. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it was the World Cup, which made it really hard to go to High Tops for me for a good five or weeks because it was just packed all the time, which is great for business. Great for business. But I don't go there at 5 p.m. on a Tuesday, I want the low-key experience. Yeah, you're not doing Spain versus France. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't know. I don't pay attention to TVs at sports events. So when the whole room suddenly screams, I get so. scared. Yeah, yeah, no. My fight or flight, my arthritis. My joints lock up.

Your blood pressure. You're like, hold on. Everybody, shut up. I got to take my pulse. I get to take my pulse. Payman. I can't take it. I get so scared. I get so scared. They should do the wave at a sporting event. They should do the wave, but that. Like, oh, yes. Payman. They need to give us some kind of hereditary too. I know it would be bad, but I don't care. I want to see what else happens. Yeah, And helleratary, even more, even more family related. Hereditated. Hereditated. So when he was out of town, I went, so then we pivoted.

We went to Ackbar because I was like, well, Akbar will be fun. And I love Aqbar too. And we went over there, and he drove. And we got in there and they had free hot dogs. The bartender had a little hot dog cooker. There was like 10 people in there. So like, you want a hot dog? And I'm a vegetarian, but I was like, well, we were trying to get dinner.

But I wasn't going to eat at Los Velas Hot Top's during the World Cup because it was nowhere to sit. What do we stand and eat nachos? I need to be able to sit. Yeah, absolutely. You can't eat standing. And because Mr. Wonderful's a lot of talent, I was like, well, I guess I'll just eat this hot dog. Then I can go home and not eat. And I add a real hot dog.

I guess I just eat this hot dog. Because the smart dogs I get are 60 calories and they're amazing. No, I know. With the keto buns, 60 calories, 120 calorie hot dog. I know. It's like you're saving. The most calories are from the ketchup. Do you understand?

I feel like I'm being made fun of. I know. Just because I like health. Sorry Skinny Minnie over here Everybody my whole life has made fun of me for being thin My whole life Beanpole

Rail Hangar Toothick lady Telephone pole Are you there And I come get it at work What do you run around the shower to get wet So

Because I'm so skinny That to run around Oh my god So I guess it needs to eat the hot dog And Wait, where's the story going? It's going to the hot. What we were we talking about?

So hot dog, Akbar, hot dog Akbar. Hot dog Akbar. I didn't have to eat at home. Mr. Wonderful's out of town. Oh, so then Mr. Wonderful gets back to the time. I go to town and you go to the cock sucking facility for the hot dog eating night to eat hot dogs in front of men? How did you eat it? Can you show me?

And as he said it, I was like, you know what? I do sound crazy. You were out of town, so I went to the gay bar and I fucked myself with a hot dog in front of people. I was like, you got up on the table. Right. But I don't know. You're like, I would love one, no bun, and you can just. Yeah.

But something about summer. Summer hot dogs activates. I want burgers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And hot dogs. Of course. Every day. Yeah.

Holy Spirit activate. That's a little tough on the digestion. We can't have salad right now. Oh, my God. Unwashed lettuce. Because the cyclone or whatever. People have been, if we thought there was the same thing was really rocking the bathroom community.

This is blowing the lids off. Yeah. They won't let us have it. And they won't let me eat it. And I said, why don't you let us? They won't. Because there's a water main break in Wiiho. Shitty water, bud. Shitty water, bud.

Go get into that. People, it was because pride is over and everyone douche so much. That great water. That gray water. That gray water was flowing down Melrose Avenue. Yeah. I had to go hop over it like Carrie Bradshaw. I went on the internet and I googled this.

It's called like cyclo sporid or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cyclospora, whatever. It sounds like a bicycle festival that just actually closed down all the roads. Yeah. A women who love women. Bicycle Festival in Portland, Maine. Cyclosporia.

Cyclosporia sounds so, it's like, it's like mushrooms on bicycle. Yeah, with the world's first annual Sapphic horror movie festival. Oh, yeah. Bike to the movie. Yeah. Sapik horror movie festival. Very woke. Before they even scare the audience, they ask for permission.

This is a scary part is every okay. You think they're going to, yeah, they wouldn't even have to like lock the bikes up. So it says, I typed in, who does this affect because the people eat lettuce? Like, who's susceptible? Because I have a, my arthritis medicine makes my immune system so low. She could really rock me. Yeah. It said, don't worry that it affects people in the age range of 2 to 95.

Super helpful. Super helpful. Babies, you're safe. Dead people, you're safe. Two to 95. Babies in the one-year-olds aren't like,

give me that lettuce, honey. Yeah, like, wait, don't watch that. But I guess the breakout started from a talk chain of Taco Bells who got their lettuce

from a place in Mexico. That's what the recall happened. Oh, that sounds racist. Thank you. Thank you. Skinny and racist as usual. Skinny and racist.

I used my last free, wired article to read that. And now I'm going to have to, what, start paying? Oh, yeah, I don't do that. I don't do that. No paywalls for me. Should we talk about what happened last night?

But yes, yes, yes. So, but desire. I'm having a long form meditation on this whole desire. Oh, I know. So you're having longing desires for men with regular bodies. Well, yeah, well, men of everybody's, but... It's a tough... Oh, so, okay, when I bounced over the shitty water on Melrose,

I walked... I was walking... Did you smell it? No, no. And I was wearing slides with white socks. You brought a boba straw It didn't smell it but it tasted delicious I actually had a hose

And then I put it right up my ass That shit went right back up the douche hole Wash your makeup brush is in it Fierce girl How do we get this from brown to black I was walking on the sidewalk past this guy I wish I had just You know honestly I wish I had just taken my phone

And just took a picture of him Right like like chiching Like one two three you, thank you. 6-6-6-6-6-6. Thank you so much. That's what it.

6-5-66. Flawlessly. Golden, even tan, brown, curly hair. This guy was a, I mean, he absolutely has to have been a model or is a model

or some kind of actor-spiring, whatever. You could be hot and have a normal job. That's true. I don't believe that was, well, whatever. You don't believe that was a cool. So, you know, tank top

and shorts and sneakers. And I was, the, The mental activity that was immediately just triggered was so intense, so intense. So intense. And he was arguing on the phone with someone and he looked distress. After I was able to just like, like recover from the shock of, okay, I just passed. I just saw for a good 10 seconds and then passed and, you know, the most attractive man

of her seen in my life. This is not the guy you followed. Different. No, this is a different guy. Most attractive man I've ever seen in my life. Literally was like, you know, I almost felt like I got the wind knocked out of me.

I thought it was the, oh God, I'm so ugly. Oh God, I'm so ugly. I'm so old. I experienced that too. The same thing happens to me.

Other people looking really good. Sometimes activates like, damn bitch, at no point in your life. Did you ever come close? And now you're just the older version. Even at your, whatever you're peek.

age was, bitch, you looked horrible. That's exactly that you just, that is exactly the train of thought that was just barreling through the station. I don't even have the, I'm not even like mourning the beauty I had. Nope. Even if I got on peptides and steroids at 16, it's like,

Mary, you would never look even. You wouldn't even look like his ugly younger brother, bitch. Stop dreaming fat. Yeah. So, and then. And bald. That's the other thing. People's nice hair. Oh, I love nice hair. Like an angel. I feel. I feel. Like thick, glossy, brown curly.

When I tell someone they have nice hair, when they do have nice hair, I just always feel like I'm an old crone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you like the apple? Like, I'm like, beans, beans and nothing but beans. It's just like I'm some kind of... You're in the bathroom with the razors and the waters turning red. Like when I say you have nice hair because I'm bald, you're sort of like, that guy's going to kill me. Yeah.

And still my hair. Like, I don't know, still my... I don't know. Yeah, yeah. I think creepy. Just by being like, you have nice hair. and what I can't take and what I've been going through a lot,

which is fierce. I find myself in these social scenarios where people with 80% of their hair are like, I'm so bald. I have to go get a consultation. I'm just like, look in the mirror every day. I'm like, you're bald. Or, you know what, yesterday?

Before your party, we put on a vinyl, a tallow disco set to get in the mood. And everybody was coming over. And girl, I made meatballs. I made, we'll bake meatballs. I made a Pillsbury Pillsbury Crescent Rolls with pizza stuff rolled up pizza roll. Then I made, well, I bought a tiramisu. I think it's okay to carry out dessert.

It's all of this is great. Okay. Store bought, I don't care if like the fucking Al-Qaeda brings it over. And then we made mozzarella sticks because it was like, you know, but I'm trying to do Italy. Hey! Yeah. I called my friend Nick who's from Italy and, uh... Like from Italy?

Yeah, his family's from Italy. or Middle East. Like the type of person where when his mom calls, he picks up speaks up his peaks in perfect Italian and kind of forget

he's setsy. He's straight but seems a little gay and you're like, oh, you're Italian. Like, pinching butts in the elevator. You're deeply heterosexual

but you're like, excuse me. Anything you'd like to share with the class? No fact. A queen. He's deeply heterosexual but like healthy

and talks about feelings which is sad that in America it's like, because he's so sweet nice. Yeah. But anyway, I called him and I just revealed. I walked into frame in my mustache with my gondola outfit.

And I go, is this offensive? Is this? And he goes, no, he said, I think it's a work of art. Yes, it is. He said, I think the mozzarella sticks are offensive. That they're in the air fryer and you just poured them out of a bag. I said, yeah, you're probably right. You're probably right about that.

You're hosting skills. Yeah, he's like, baby, your Italian food is the issue. Like the outfit, sure, you Googled Italian. But the food, baby. Oh, my God, that's funny. But you know, I'm such a Midwest white lady. The way I get bricked about how many different things you can make with Pillsbury dough rolls, you can make anything. You can make garlic bread.

I love those crested rolls. Rolling up the smart dogs. Smart dogs? The fake hot dogs. Hot dog, picking a blanket. Picking a blanket. Bricked. Bricked.

You can make whatever you think you want to make, you can. Google that with Pillsbury Crescent Roll. And there's a version of it to just, Un-U-U-U-U-RICTina. And everyone likes Crescent dough. I love it. I'm sure it's not highly nutritional. No, it's so fattening.

So much butter. So much butter. It's so bad. But it's okay. Who cares? So then at the at the show, another thing happened. So I roll up. Oh, should we tell people what it was?

Oh, yeah, yeah. So I, um, so I had, I wanted to do it dance night of international music. and I'm going to pat myself on the back for crumming up with a really great fun branding name because Dacha means summer house Oh House music in the summer

Summer House? I thought it was a girl name It sounded like a girl name. No, Dasha, with an S.H. It's a girl's name. Oh, the button on that story with the Atala Disco House was the DJ, they had an overhead camera for his decks and when he would lean in

he had the tiniest little visible scalp here. I wouldn't even say bald, but like maybe enough hair lost that when the hair part you can see skin. Yeah. And my, and my people who were there were like, oh my God,

I would kill them. Did you see that? If I leaned over and they saw the top of my head like that, I would be furious. And I just go, oh, really? What would you do?

Bring your gun to work? Like, I'm just like, I'm so, okay. If you also ripped off your scalp showed your brain. Oh,

you should show your brain. Yeah. Anyway, the button on that story is like, people are always, you know, and I just always feel so like, yeah.

Okay. No, it's, I know. And I, I, again, I, with the guy that I, he is attracted to baldies. Oh. Which I. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Yes. Yeah. There's nothing. When guys who are 25 go bald, I'm like, great. Yeah, who live large. Who cares? I don't think people care. Maybe that's why everybody has always wanted to fuck me.

People really do care. A lot of people care. Guess who cares? People with hair. I guess. And then so the Had an international dance site And Mateo

Our friend Mateo The DJ helped me Learn how to DJ a little bit I had like three lessons And I was like really nervous I was like oh I don't think I'm I'm not gonna be able to do this alone for sure Right

And I was like I'm not gonna be Super scary super scary Because then when at one point around 1 a.m. after my Well it was my set I chose all the we I chose all the songs for my set We went through all the transition Some of them were really difficult

because these weren't extended dance mixes. Oh, yeah. They were like crazy just radio edits essentially. And I was like, this is very hard. And he, of course, he's so funny. He's like, oh, he mentioned that there's a technique where you can just kind of like reverb out and then just play the other song.

I was like, oh, okay. I mean, it's not mixing, but it is playing. I was like, but that's an option. And then of course, he's like, no, we're going to loop this and then we're going to play this. And then we're going to switch the bass. I was like, okay, I don't know how to do that. Like, I, like, what you just did is actually made me less confident about what we previously learned.

I know, but, like, let her cook. That's you on, like, Pixar. Or, like, that's you on Capcut. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, that's your CDJ where you're like, let me hit that sauce. Let me do this, bed, bed, blah, but then the person's 100 years old. You know what I mean?

They've gone through several gender transitions. Then they're back to normal. Female to male to male to old. There is a lot to it. And when you, I applaud you because the first time I was behind a decks was secret. I showed up unannounced and did a 30 minute set with like with big sunglasses and a hat because I was so scared and I didn't want anybody to see me. So everything about it for the first

time is terrifying. Yeah. Mind you every, a lot of the buttons you could accidentally hit completely stop the music. Let's talk about cue and play. Oh yeah. Talk about it. That's my yeah. Let's talk about Q. So Q is you can play. And then play pause is, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, great. Spears. It's really fierce.

I'm like, and then, and then the, and then, you know, getting into the, we hadn't really, we hadn't done the first two and a half lessons with headphones. Oh. So I, I'm like, I'm just going off of what I hear in the speakers, which, and I'm, like, I know these songs. So, and I, we've made all the cue points. This is probably going to be so boring for people.

Um, long story short, it was, I had the best, best time. And the music was fabulous. I didn't understand. It was non-English entirely. Yeah. It was mostly Italian, I think. Yeah, mostly Italian.

People loved it. Packed house, sold out. I had to message the owner because I waited to get tickets to the night of and couldn't get them. Fierce. Fierce. And I was like, and also, can you let me in the back?

It was really nice that really well attended. Yeah. I'm going to say I wanted more Christmas from people. I wanted more outfits. Yeah. But I wasn't really, yes. I wanted more Italian. Yeah, I wanted more outfits too.

I looked like a, I worked at Disney. No, you looked amazing. If every, in my, in my, in my dreams's dream, in my heart of the dreams, it was everybody was gondola, pizza, pasta, meatballs, the leaning tower of pizza. Yes. My friend, Mici, who helped me with, who made my incredible show stopping outfits. She was, um, a Christmas tree. I, she made that. No, no, she was, she was the Christmas tree.

She got that or something. It was like a little, but it was like an A-line dress of a Christmas tree. I lived. It reminded me of, do you remember at Greece 2 when Michelle Pfeiffer is the Christmas, she's doing, I'll be your girl for all seasons. Is that it? I know. And she's dressed as a Christmas tree.

Remember? And then she dissociates and thinks of the motorcycleer. Michael's that's Greece 2? Greece 2 is amazing. Oh my God. The guy who plays Michael. Hot. Is unbelievably hot.

And Michelle Pfeiffer is the star of it. So incredible. Cool rider. She's saying. There's bowling. Are there rat free hot dogs? No, but the songs are so good. We're going to score tonight.

There's a, I mean, this is, oh, Reproduction, reproduction. There's a song where they're in class learning about reproduction. Reproduction. And they're like talking about sex, the teenagers. Fierce. You got to watch Grease 2.

I'm going to, oh my God, stop yelling at me. We should watch it for the Peasler. Grease 2. And then, I don't stand Grease 1, but I love Greece 2. I've never seen. Either of the greases. It's singing. I know, that's why.

But it's Michelle Pfeiffer. I know. I'll watch it. Okay. We'll skip the one. Very, very controversial in a kind of classic to skip the first one and watch the sequel. But so at the, so in one of my, during one of my sweat-drenched breaks. You were wet.

Who did your eyes? I did. Oh. I thought someone did them. They looked good. I said, I said, I think she probably had someone do that. I don't know. No, yeah, I did.

And then I put, I put your blog. on a lot of blush and then on my nose too. Thank God. Because I wasn't doing any foundation. And then, oh, you were wet. 10 minutes. Before it started, we got there around 839. I was like, oh, my God.

And I saw people on the way in and I was like, I was like, oh, shit. Oh, shit. I feel like I'm going to get in a lot of trouble for not being in drag because I was like, I was like, I think it's probably safe to assume that I would be appearing in drag. You were in drag on the poster.

It was on drag on one of the posters But it was also a cartoon Yeah, that's true Did I draw that? It was a cartoon, Allie. It was beautiful. And then, but the tickets weren't crazy. How much were they?

Like $25? It was a club night. That's true. I mean in Los Angeles Any kind of themed night is, yeah. And also, if one of the drag racers are going to show there, the ticket's like 50 bucks. Also, it was sold out.

No, yeah. But so anyways. I don't think it was too. expensive because it was sold out. Right. So, but I showed up as like, oh my God. I was like, I felt like, I feel so bad. I was not in drag.

10 minutes into the dancing, Tutsi, I was like, oh yeah, as if I could ever. You would have died. You were wet. You were wet. You were really wet. I would have de-dragged. Everybody was talking about it. I would have de-dragged.

I was so, I was soaking, 4,000 calories I burned. You dressed as an elf completely soaked. And you know those girls there were still making TikToks. you like I shave my whole body just in case. Like, they would have still lined up to lick you cross-eyed. It was, I was, you always ringing out. I had to do three costume changes because I had to

ring out the outfits, completely drenched. I never peed. Who made all the props and stuff? That was Matt, Matt, Ravy, and the his, from Maurice. Maurice, yeah. I loved D-A-C-H-A. D-C-H-A, yeah. Girl, you should do another one. That was like some of the most fun I've had.

Yeah, so I'm already planning the next one. The next one's going to be all Ukrainian. Love. Yeah. Can I tell you, the X program was not present, those people were smoking on the patio. I walked out there. It was like, holy shit. It was the, it was like a cloud. It was the why program, the why aren't you smoking program? I woke up this morning and my hands, my fingers

smelled like I was smoking. I woke up and was like, did somebody while sleeping, like, use my hand to smoke? You woke up and Mr. wonderful was in bed with three cigarettes in his mouth. Like, I was just like, I went on the pad. People always smoke a little at Precinct. They were, they were ripping them. Ripping butts last night. Rippin butts. Precinct has a

what is it called a geek? dispenser, those vapes? No. And I walked out there and saw the vape dispenser and I was like, how rude? Like, I was like, this is so weird. I was like, you guys are weird. I was like, back in my day, we used to drink alcohol.

I was like, everybody get off the patio and go inside and get a drink. I'm disgusted with all of you. Go get some alcohol. The geek bar is so corny. It's corny. Everybody with their light up binkies. But they also have a-go-gaga, where's my binkie? They also have a photo booth out there now.

Yeah. And I like the patio at precinct. because sometimes they have sales, different, like vendors. I got these shorts in one of the vendors. And then they also have that huge mural of Alaska, which is cool. Yeah, it's fierce. And they now have a photo booth. And the photo booth takes four pictures or whatever.

And I'm with a group. It's like me, Jennifer, Mr. Wonderful, a bunch of people. And we're all, you know, trying to, we're like, we all can't fit in this booth, but we want these pictures. So, okay, you two go in. All right. It says five, four, three, two one. The next two people rush in.

And then I rush in and no one gets in with me. So everyone is group pictures. and then the middle one on it is me alone like because no one just got him with me. No one. I have like a passport photo while everyone else is like, you're like this. Yeah, but it was the people were smoking.

And that's an outdoor patio and the clouds were still like. Yeah, it was the mist. Yeah, it was Stephen King's the mist. And when I went into the mist, I saw these two guys, I was looking around, I was like, I need to sit down on a table with people just crash their table for a second. And this really

gorgeous guy and this really beautiful young man were chatting and then I sat down of just barge in and then I realized that they're like he had just bought him a drink oh they're drunk no no no no no they're flirting they were flirting and it was like this was a I came in I was the boner killer I came in I was the bone break I was like and then but the guy said

but they're there for you they love you well I don't think they were I don't but they might have been by this they're like wire people no no no I actually know I know they weren't because but the guy the the the the super I'm They're both hot, but the hot guy. He was like, I was like, are, I was like, are, who are you? Who are you?

Or like, not who are you? It wasn't rude like that. I was like, you look familiar. He's like, do you track? I was like, yes. He's like, are you caught you? I was like, yeah. And he's like, oh, I love you.

And then he said, give me the most wonderful, wonderful compliments. Fucking. Oh. I was like, oh, no. That's nice. wearing my my yucky hold on I get my yucky

from back in my corolla but then but so he was so I mean so gorgeous so nice but just maybe I mean almost started crying and then it's very sweet and then I said well good luck to you both I think I approve this thing

and they're like yeah and I left but then I started I was like well it's over for me that will never happen to me because I'm ugly and unfuckable right and they're in I the sweaty little clown that pops in to give them a little laugh

And then they're like, that was nice. Show up. They're looking at each other's eyes and you show up to be like, look how worse it could be. I literally come in there like, yeah. Were the guests,

because I noticed you got on the dance floor a few times, were the guests receptacle, receiving of that? Were they respectful? Were they grabbing? Oh, nobody grabbed. Okay, good. Nobody grabbed.

Yeah, no, it's all very respectful. It was so fun. You know what I can't take and drag? What? I can't handle. I'm dragging someone grabs my boobs. It drives, or my hair. Oh.

It drives me insane. But like when, usually girls when someone's like, maybe it's because it's like, there's a familiarity there. Maybe. They'll grab. And I, I know they don't mean anything by it, but it lands in a way they might not know, which is like, don't touch me, bitch. Don't touch my fake private parts. Well, right. It's also, but I mean, those are my socks.

Couldn't you imagine that it's also easy to like, it would be very, very, it wouldn't be much of a jump to just put yourself in that situation. It's like, oh, I wonder if a guy just, I wonder if someone just grabbed my tits. Right. Well, I mean, I'm not saying it's the same because they're not real tits. Excuse me, it totally is. It's absolutely the same. Anatomically speaking. Not anatomically, but socially it is.

I breastfeed my cabbage patch doll from it. Don't you grab me. I could have, I could be injured. Right. Like, I went to a meeting the other day. When someone's like, can I have a picture and they, like this thing? No, no, someone was like, someone was like pawing at my incision. What?

Yes, because they didn't know. They were like way too familiar. Gave me a hug and started doing this. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, don't touch me. me. So it's like, that kind of thing is like, we just, also we just met. It doesn't matter if it's in a meeting or anything like. But anyways, those things like that. I'm like, just, maybe just stay out of my no-no space or just this whole thing could be my no-no space, unless you're that hot, curly-haired guy from Melrose in the shitty water. Then welcome to my

no-no space. Then the no-no becomes yes, yes. No, but I was like, oh, God, I, oh, oh, and then I get backstage with the dancers. Oh, and these go-goes are, those, your go-goes were all beautiful. The girls. The girls. The girls. Gorge. Holy shit, gorge. And I was like, God. I got the same reaction in the dressing room. They were like, are you trixie? I said yes. Yeah. I was like, you guys all look so beautiful.

And the bodies, these men's bodies were. Yeah. And then the guy that was like, and then I go backstage and he would tell you he was friends with one of the go-go dancers. And I go back to talking to the go-go-dancers with this impossible body. And I was like, oh, yeah, you know, your friend was like your friend. I talked to your friend out there. Is that your friend? like yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then he mentioned something that I won't mention here about what they may or mean have done. And then I was like, well, that'll never happen to me. Well, that'll never happen to me because I'm an ugly, unfuckable, ghoulish monster from Tales from the Crypt. But then, I was like, that's unacceptable. I was like, I don't want to be, I don't want to brag, but I wanted, I want to treat myself like maybe a therapist would or like a good friend.

Because I was like, do you know, do you have any idea how that model on Nulleros probably would have killed for your life? We don't know. it's quite possible, though. I guess, but I don't, I don't know if that's not necessarily a healthy direction either because that's still comparing. Compare and despair. Right.

Compare and despair. Comparing in the other direction. But it also, but it made me, but it, no, no, no. But it's not because I'm better than him. Right. It's not that. It's like, he would be like, but yeah, okay. I, but.

Right. And I was like, wait a minute. I have like the best life in the world. You absolutely do. I mean, you're surrounded. You have the best life in the world. and you pay to be there. The best life in the world.

And I don't have to work for another month. Yeah. And I don't have to worry about money. Could be worse. You could be in drag every day this week. Like some people over here. Mr. Wonderful woke up this morning and said, you need to stop with the foolishness.

What foolishness? Is it going to work? Yes. The workaholism. The workaholism. It's just I'm having, I'm experiencing a workaholic episode? No. I'm experiencing a, I'm experiencing a, I'm experiencing a,

I'm experiencing a traffic jam of opportunities I want. You're being human traffic. You're being work trafficked. No. She's trying to externalize her. She's trying to externalize her. Like, I love the pod. I love my YouTube channel.

Yeah. I love to tour. I love all these things. And so it's really hard for me to say no to them because I want, I love all of them. I wish they were further. I wish there was days between them. Time. Time management.

I was in drag Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Today is my only day this week, not in drag. Fierce. But I'm here. So you have a, I have a makeup question of very emergency. I'm getting a carbuncle on the side of my lip that's not herpes related. It's like a,

a visit coming in. What do I do? I mean, there's this spot treatment from Peter Thomas Roth that I like that's like a, like you just put it on and it just, it's like a combination of salicylic acid, licorice, which is like a calming agent and something else and it'll just happen.

Like put it on overnight when you relate to still. No. You could also go on a Sephora and find an F word and be like, I have a pimple and they'll tell you. products. I will say this about Sephora and Alta. These bitches, they work there all day. They know all these. Oh, they do. They know.

They do. They know. They do. Yeah. They're not at a loss. I feel like if you're going to go to the makeup store in person and you're not going to actually take advantage of these people's experts. Buy what they tell you. When I worked at the makeup counters, never lied to people. No, I'm always appreciated their expertise. Because they know. The best customer service, too. Yeah, and it's Sephora and Alta too. I don't know if this is still the case, but these people get training from these brands like

Make It Forever will send a rep to the store to give a training one-on-one to all these people So they get training directly from the company So like they know I'm not saying they all aren't like Listen they'll try to make you open a store credit card on Nordstrom But I don't have to do that But they don't all get like commission

I think in people's minds they think makeup counter people Like live on commission Also the time is just hourly They get paid hourly to not lie to you Right so And also I mean I've worked in those things It's like, if you're in a good day and a good mood and everything's fine, you're boss on a horrible asshole, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever.

It is funner to be, to do a good job. It is. And it's funner to help people. It's like, oh, I'm coming out of, and then, oh, no, no, blah. All of that. I had a plan last night, which was, is it okay that I set the tone with the group? Because people came over at about eight and I had just pulled all my incredible snacks out of the ovens. The ovens.

Yeah, with my fake mustache. My John Waters, brown mustache pulling a pan of, like many pizzas out of the other. I never get invited to any like, well, no, no, no, no, no. But you guys had to be there at nine. But I, I, I, I want,

the only, the only, in recent memory, the only pre-game, that's not so, so juvenile, but the only, like, pre-party, get together and we'll all leave together thing I've already been invited to. It was, like, so drug-addled. So riddled with drugs.

And weho, it was like, you know, it's like, there's no, there's no pizza rolls. There's just K, Coke, and G. Oh, I love the, I love a pre-party where it's like, everybody has like a beer or a high noon or maybe a glass of wine and then there's actually snacks. Sit outside by the fire. Watch music videos.

You can't do it at the nightclub. Talk. No, have hot dog nachos. Hot dog nachos. You know what I mean? You can't talk. But yeah, you talk and you're like, you set your intention. You charge your crystals and then you eat your snacks.

You have a little glass of clinky, blinky, whatever. Yeah. And then later when you're like, you know, are. blotto on the floor. Shit faced. Laying down. Oh, the shit in the club. The feces in the club.

Fices on the dance floor. What are they calling it? Painting the dance floor. Painting the dance floor. People are shitting on the floor. First of all, and we've, you know what, though, let's not be shocked because there's been plenty of musical cues along the way.

Murder on the dance floor. We didn't pay attention. Shitting on the dance floor. There was a killer on the dance floor. People fall in love on the dance floor. What comes next? Shitting. So, Mr. DJ put a record on,

I want to empty my bow. Because when the music starts My bowels never want to stop I'm gonna shit it crazy Absolutely All the cues The writing was on the wall And it was brown

The writing was on the wall And it was brown Hello I hello Earth to share Earth to share Come in share What was I just gonna say?

Oh But why do you think they are shitting Is it drugs? I don't know I think they're acting out I think they're acting out It's like They're like

My life change Dances are slammed, the world's falling apart. This is a very scary time. I'm going to go go go-go-gou-gaga. I'm going to go-go-gag-I. I'm going to act out and be poopy on the dance floor. If somebody slips in it, then they're in the same. We're all in the same poopie boat.

You know, I'm... The brown banana. I'm a little bit direct with... Poop, anything. And I think it's okay when you have guests to tell them what time it's over. This is the number one thing I love about you. And people were there like 8, 8.30 having snacks and having drinks. We were talking about the night we're going to have.

And I go, yeah, I got to work tomorrow. I said, my plan is that we have fun. We wear our costumes. We eat. We drink. And I said, I'm brushed. I'm flossed and in bed by midnight. Oh, yeah.

And everyone else was like, me too, girl. It's Wednesday. We're going to do it. We're going to get out. Yeah. I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that horrible? Because I was in bed by midnight, flossed and brushed.

And I was like grateful. I was like, I saw to watch All-Stars for the Peaceler. So I was like, I got to get in bed and watch my story. Yeah. Is that bad? Am I the party ruiner? Sometimes I feel like Miss Grandpa because I'm like... Miss Grandpa, that's the only way to be.

Because I'm like, well, we're all in my house at 8. I'm setting the expectation that when we all come home from the club, I will be going to bet. Is that bad? Oh, so, but I think you were, I would, I, you didn't come home alone? No, I, the whole group came on, but I didn't make them come. We just, but the whole group earlier in the night was like, oh yeah, girl, early night. We're coming home early. They went back to your place?

Yeah, because their cars were all parked there. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, I wouldn't let them in. You can't even use the bathroom. Get out of here. Okay, I go to, why didn't you go to the bathroom at the club? Why didn't you go to the bathroom at the club? You're not taking care of yourself.

No, I'm a problem. I got to go. Right. I would start snoring in real time. You go, only because of this. Start flossing in the car. Because I'm in the car. Start flossing in the car.

You get out of the, with your bonnet in hot tea. You get out of the car and greet them with a mug of hot camomile. Yeah. And if they start to get crazy. Sleep your time to eat. If you start to get crazy, toss them on the face. And then, oh, God, no.

And then you push them in their car. Actually, if you do, if you spill the tea, they're going to want a band-aid. Did you watch the lobster? I did. Wait, wait, wait. Did you watch the other,

what's the other lobster movie? Consider the, wait, what? The Elizabeth Moss movie where they turn into lobsters, hello. With Colin Ferrell. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not the lobster. No, no, no.

That's, I'm talking about Shell. I did. Did you watch Shell? I didn't watch all of it, though. I didn't get through all of it. I did watch most of it. Wait, which leads me back to my next point. So you're my therapist, right?

Dr. Brian. And I just told you that story about how I feel so impossibly ugly. And I'm not fishing for compliments. I don't think you're ugly or impossibly ugly, but I'm telling you, I think swinging back the other direction and saying, I think it's reasonable to say, you know what,

there's probably things in my life that guy would be jealous of. You're recognizing that comparing is a human thing and it's a two-way street, and it's kind of an endless, like self-indexam. loop. Yeah, yeah. I think that's okay, but I don't think by making it go away by being like, no, no, no, no, he probably wants to be me. No, no, no, no, it's not that jealous. It's like, it's like, it's more of like a gratitude list. It's a noticing that like I'm experiencing a human thing of like, yeah, yeah, I covet that person's hair. I covet or their body or whatever.

Yeah, yeah. He covets. I don't think it's bad. I think it's a very human thing. Alaskan I were just talking about this. It made me really upset. Oh, I wouldn't let it get you upset. I mean, sometimes I feel oh, well, how do I do that? Sometimes I feel what you're feeling, which is like, I feel like I spent a lot of my young life thinking like my, I was going to reach some kind of physical peak or some kind of

magical second puberty where I was going to feel gorgeous. And now I'm like, I feel like I'm just like the, the banana that's only good for banana bread. Oh my God. Just like greasy brown, you know? Like dipped in the Melrose stream. Like I feel like an avocado where it's like, For days, I couldn't make my guacamole because it's rock hard.

And then I blinked and it's rotten. Do you know what avocados do that? Where it's like... That is really profound to see. Where every day I keep my avocados on my windowsill and I have red onion, cherry tomatoes and jalapinos and all that because I'm always ready to make little guacamole because I'm white, right? White people making some kind of awful guacamole and trying to make everyone eat it.

Me, look, I put pineapple in it. Freaky. There's ham and my guacam. I chopped up hot dogs for 60 calorie. So every day I grab it and I swear to God, it's rock hard. The internet says put it in a paper bag so it gets softer, faster. You can try to do that. And then I swear to God, I'm always waiting to make the guac, waiting to make the guac, and then wet.

Black, wet and black. Dark brown. And that's how I feel sometimes with my looks that I'm just like, I was young and shitting on myself. And now I'm this age shitting myself and nothing is different. So here we are. No more dancing around in the blackmail rose water. And also I've learned, even when I was running the marathon and I was in like my peak physical form, I didn't really feel that different about myself.

Yeah. It has so little to do with what I really look like. And also, why are we reliable narrators of what we think we look like? We're not. Oh, not reliable at all. We're not. We're Michelle in the Greece too. For someone who wants to fuck you?

Are you really going to be like, okay, weird? You know what I mean? Maybe. That's why I need to hear it four times. Because one is like weird. Two is like, this is about consent. This is about me making sure.

And then four is like, okay. I'm like, you want to fuck me? Can you walk this line please and do this? Can you follow my finger? Also, can you fill out this 500 question MBTI? Yeah. I was like,

we're going to need a referral. A note from the doctor and also a witness. Yeah. No. I know, I know, although I've learned that a while ago. It's like when someone says something,

that is truly complimentary is like, don't argue with them. Don't argue with them. I'm like, I'm going to take it. When you take the L in the chat on video games, F in the chat. F in the chat. What is there,

is there a W or like a good one? Is it a thumbs up? Is it a hot dog or fruit bar? I've been told by fans that I miss use F in the chat. So I guess I don't even know what it means. I think it's like when someone dies and it's like respect that they died in the game. Okay, control V or no.

Let's just say it's happy. Control shift three. Control. It's how you screenshot on the map. Okay. If you want to know. Thank you. It's good to know.

Option delete. We got a wrap. Okay. So, yeah, I would just say if someone says you're hot, believe them. If they're blind, ask them again. It's a little like being humble, cute, sure. But if somebody said to you and I, I just love your podcast, you say, thank you. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I don't say, oh. It's just. Or like, I love their drag. I love you. When you say like, okay, or whatever, not that you would do that, but you're like invalidating their real feelings about something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they say they love something. They're sharing a feeling. I know. Imagine, could you imagine? Imagine if I saw Michelle Pfeiffer alone and she was. And you followed her in your car? No, no. No, and she said,

she had a little piece of paper that's folded that said, yes, I'm Michelle Pfeiffer and it's okay to talk to me. And so I went up and we were the only people in the restaurant. I went up and said, you know, I got, I'm not going to take it to her. I'm not going to take up too much of your time because I just don't want to do that. But I would love for you to know that

all throughout your career, I have just been screaming from the sidelines because I think you are just one of the best people on this planet. That's what I would want to say. That's lovely. Yeah, and it's true. And what if she was like, oh, oh, I suck. Horrible.

She was saying, I was at your Dasha party. Yeah, and it was really bad. It was really bad. It was really bad. You really are fat. And you were really wet. I was at your Dasha party and Dacha, Dacha, I was at your Dacha party

and I'm a really big fan and I just You didn't recognize me because But it was me I shall fight for. Star of Greece too. Star of Greece too. What about Mr. Wonderful thinking this was Santa? Can you, oh, that's scary.

Look right at your camera. No, he goes, I think it's a gnome. I said, yeah. You know what it's also, what's particularly chilling is the the eyebrow into the other eye which looks like it's kind of but no tea

you put that on any of those go-go dancers last night or the lovely man that I had a conversation with the smoking room would would 100 and wouldn't get even a minute flaccid not even for a second okay thank you goodbye

Thank you.