The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Tammie Brown & Ding-a-Lings in Shampoo Bottles with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: May 14, 2024

As part of our annual Pre-Pride Kink Safety Awareness Month, we'd like to offer you this episode featuring the iconic multi-hyphenate and eminent enfant terrible, Tammie Brown! The hour of magical audio and video you are about to consume shall serve as a helpful resource for safely integrating a shampoo bottle into your regular sex-tool-rotation. It's important to remember that while incorporating everyday objects into one's erotic endeavors, safety and preparation should be your guiding factors to ensure a positive experience for all parties involved. A helpful brochure about shampoo bottle butt play can be easily downloaded at SafeShampooSodomy4Ever.org for a one-time fee of $999.99 plus shipping & handling. Full-page illustrations have been provided by ex-Hanna-Barbera animators, and an AI hotline is available should any problems arise during your soapy escapades. As all of us here at Bald, LLC prepare for 2024 Pride, Tammie, Trixie, and Katya would like to wish you and yours a magnificent May filled with bottles, orifices, and most of all, a plethora of ding-a-lings. Don't miss Tammie Brown's Jubilee on May 16th in Los Angeles! Go to: https://bit.ly/TammieBrownsJubilee for more details! To try out America's #1 meal kit for eating well, go to https://GreenChef.com/BALD50 and use code BALD50 to get 50% off, plus 20% off your next two months! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self! Go to https://Liquiddeath.com/BALD to check out all of Liquid Death's healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer! To find and book a top-rated doctor today, go to https://Zocdoc.com/BALD and download the Zocdoc app for FREE! Follow Tammie: @PlanetTammie Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Okay. Were you doing your TikToks? Oh, well, you guys, I don't know. Do we intro people? Yes, let's intro. Come on. The dignity. Let's give her the dignity. What do we know about her? Welcome back to another episode of The Bald and Beautiful. Hello. Hi. And we are welcomed with we are graced with the loving presence of the inimitable, incomparable Miss Tamitha

Brown. Yay! Hello. She's a visual artist. She's a musician. She's a live performer. High concept drag character. High concept. She's an activist. And she's really a queen of the people. Yeah.

An activist, an actor, activist, dog mom, mother, and saver of many different species of animals.

Hashtag not grooming. Not grooming. Not yet. Hashtag queer icon. Yes. And with great skin. Hashtag drag race. Thank you.

Hashtag all stars. Hashtag wear your sunglasses. Yeah. Livehtag drag race. Hashtag all stars. Hashtag... Wear your sunglasses. Yes. Live, laugh, love. People know you from a lot of things, but people probably originally know you from drag race, right? Oh, well, of course.

Of course. That put us on the map, didn't it? Yes. Mama Ru, thank you. Yes. Yeah, thank you, Miss Ru. Pound for pound and number for number, iconic, original iconic moments,

you are neck deep in them. Well, I'm the first one. I don't know why I haven't won a Grammy, and I'll say this over and over again. If it takes a village for Hillary Clinton to get a spoken word, well, where's mine? With over 13 catchphrases to boot. I would totally listen to like an audio

experience from you, just like a calm app. Or I would listen to a Deep House album with just snippets from your, what about that neck on your, what about the line on your neck? That was originally meant for my sister Morgan McMichaels, but I kept it backed up in the stockpile.

Where's the Acid House transmix of Teleport Us to Mars? Well, I'll tell you, Dysfunction in the stockpile. Where's the acid house transmix of teleporters to Mars? Well, I'll tell you, dysfunctional Virgos. Um, no. You're a Taurus, huh? Yes. You know, we're very compatible. Are we?

Very compatible. Sexually? Yes. All kinds of ways. What do you think about that? I think it's fine. I mean, I find... I think it's fine.

I think it's fine. I find Taurus is very difficult. I was recently saying that in LA, everybody either goes into therapy or gets really into the Zodiac. But here's the thing though. We have to pivot. We got to pivot because I have now,

I don't do the astrology. I do Chinese Zodiac. Water dog, what are you? Well, guess what? I'm a monkey and my lover, he's a tiger. So it makes us incompatible, but he is a tourist. So I'm going to stick with that one. Okay.

But what element of a monkey are you? I'm a monkey that can ride the bull. Let me tell you. And you, ma'am? Chinese are like, I don't know. 1989? Let's look it up. I'm probably saying something really nasty.

I'm going to say it's a snake. Snake, but what kind of snake? There's an element. It's wood, fire, metal, water, or something else. I think I'm like a carbon. We're looking up. Oh, my God. Serpent, serpent.

Normally we have a producer here. Where the fuck is Tracy? Tracy. She's out there getting y'all's food. She's getting a Taco Bell. What do I call it? Chinese what? Chinese Zodiac in the 1989.

I got to go look at China and the Zodiac. Oh, well, that's okay. TikTok isn't really from China. Get with the program, bitch. Thank you. Just look up the year or the day. Just the year. Chinese Zodiac, 1989.

The snake. Which one, though? Which one? Which one? You help to me. Oh, show it to me, please, Rachel. Earth snake. What's wrong with that?

Water dog, earth snake. Very compatible. You think? Muddy creatures. Muddy. Yeah, slithering and crawling. Earth snake. I'm scooting my butt on the ground, and she's making it a little bit wet.

Oh, yeah. I like that. You know what I mean? Are you still doing P-Town in the summers at all? Yes, I'm doing P-Town this summer. You're doing this summer? Yes, I am. Oh, my gosh. We always plug people's projects at the end, but I think we shouldTown in the summers at all? Yes, I'm doing P-Town this summer You're doing this summer? Yes, I am Oh my gosh

We always plug people's projects at the end But I think we should tell people in the beginning And also tell us What can people reasonably expect At a Timmy Brown experience in P-Town Well, this is a musical comedy concert Let's get that straight Okay, let's get that straight

Long time technology Yes, I'm a comedian Because this comes out of me so naturally Right I'm not trying to be funny I'm just funny Okay Like I said of me so naturally. Right. I'm not trying to be funny. I'm just funny. Okay.

Like I said on that wonderful show we were all on, launched into stardom and fame and glory, RuPaul's Drag Race is, you know, I just stand there. Well, there's a lot of them, right? Right. Oh, my God. I just stand there and people laugh. But we're going to be doing Jubilee, which is celebrating 25 years of the name Tammy.

So Jubilee. So it'll be a bit of a retrospect with some new stories and then all music and two new songs included. A remix of Shakabukuyu, which is from the album Popcorn. Get it. Put some butter on it. And then Shakabukuyu, which is done by Markaholic. Remixed it for me. Love him.

Love Markaholic. He's good, right? Yeah, he's great. And then I'm doing Gingerbread House. I'm thinking about the music I made with Markaholic. I love Gingerbread House. But then I'm doing Vengabus. It's called the Vengabus. We like to party.

I did a remix of that, a cover remix. So that's exciting. That opens the show. And then we'll be taking some from the other albums and some experiences I had mixed in there. And then we're going to be bringing Jubilee to Long Beach, California. Like we did the 20 year anniversary. I remember that. You're coming this year. Yeah, of course. I'll send you an invitation. Yeah. Avid Winker, which I love. I went to the 20 year, it was 20 years of Tammy at the Long Beach Hamburger Mary's. You're in the video, you know.

Jerking off. She didn't sign a contract so if you want us to bleep you, blur you out, we can do that. I'm honored. I just hope I look hot. But I came to see you at the 20 years of Tammy and Kelly was there and she was doing her character from the Browns. That's right. Sheila. Hello.

She was doing Sheila. And somebody said, it was so crazy. Somebody said, where's Kelly Mantle? And she was hosting and she goes, Kelly Mantle's on a work the world tour in Warsaw, Poland. Warsaw, Poland. And the audience was like, okay. That was such a fun night.

I was there with, and this is so crazy. I was there with a group of people and David was like, the group we were with, David was like, what was with them? I was like, oh, they seemed happy. That couple. And David was like, the group we were with, David was like, what was with them? I was like, oh, they seemed happy, that couple. And David was like, I don't know. They seemed like they were, are you kidding me?

They seemed like they were fighting all night. I was like, you're so crazy. No, they weren't. They broke up like two weeks later. Love it. Really? These were your friends? Yeah.

That's how little I guess I pay attention to people's interpersonal dynamics. She's a little spectrum mobile. That's okay. Well, you know, you're always getting all those hugs and people are throwing that energy on you. Well, God doesn't give with both hands. That's true. And I have these, you're always getting all those hugs and people are throwing that energy on you. Well, God doesn't give with both hands. That's true. And I have these huge tits and this bad cock.

Well, do you believe that Jesus, I mean, that God even exists? Do you? I don't believe in God. I don't either. And I'd rather go to hell because at least I know I can reign there. And you can pick any vice or any pleasure. I know like... Are we sucking... If there's a heaven, are we like sucking cock there?

What are you doing in heaven? You're cleaning the Lord's house. Exactly. And besides, you don't have a body anyways. Admin, clerk filing, filing papers. You don't have a body. You don't have a dick. You don't have a body. You have a robe. You have a robe. You know what though? I feel like you have a robe and it's a long robe and it's three kids like on each other's shoulders underneath it.

Really? That's grooming. And it's like a transparent chenille. You think that you would be having sex in heaven? No. That's what I'm asking. There's no genitals. No genitals. But isn't some religion... Talking about the ding-a-lings all the time. Ding-a-lings and breasts.

Oh. Chicks and dicks. That's my experience. Don't be insultedicks That's my experience Don't be insulted That's my experience It's also mine It's very much my experience Well you know about this famous story

Hot shemale cock We were She-ness She-ness She-ness I got that from her She-ness We were in Australia

We were getting immigration She-cock And you know We talk about how we're scared to tell people what we do. Oh, this is the best one. And Tammy says, I'm a top shelf transvestite. Top shelf transvestite. And then you said top shelf transvestite.

And they just stamped your passport. They were like, as you were a man. Yeah. Because you kind of, on that trip, you were wearing some of your, your boy group clothes and your girl clothes kind of intermix. Yes. So you were in like a fun scarf and a jacket And I think they were like

They're so scared at immigration Of misgendering us And they're such bruisers a lot of times You know you get up there trying to bruise us down Yeah they do really try to I said one time I said I dress like a woman and I act a fool I think that's also honest

Yeah I mean it's literally what I do I feel like they try to I act a fool. I think that's also honest. Yeah. I mean, it's literally what I do. I feel like they try to, I try to intimidate you. Kind of. They try to gaslight you. I'm not doing anything wrong. And what the hell with this TSA business? Mama, you don't have,

we don't have the, Oh, thanks 9-11. I think that was, have you read any of those books by that politician? The one that was the wrestler, Jesse Ventura? No.

R.O.J. Simpson? No, not, he's dead. And that glove didn't fit. He's up there twerking with Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Do you know, that was an isotona glove. Oh, so that's why it wouldn't fit? They're saying it was an isotona. I went and read the label once.

He cut her head off and then killed another Jewish fellow. You know, I know so little about that trial. Are you joking? But every time I put on a tie, I was a little too young for it. I remember the way Bronco knew, that's it. But every time I put on a glove and my manhood doesn't fit in a woman's glove, I think of that. I think of, at first you don't, what is it? If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit.

I think every trial should have, like the Gwyneth trial should have had like a fun. Yes. Well, I lost a whole half a day of skiing. But I mean, it should have like a limerick vibe. I know, I know, I know. I wish that she would have just gotten thrown to jail. At first you don't ski, you must go pee. Run into me. I know. I know. I know. She would have just got thrown to jail. Like I've never seen you don't ski. Yeah.

You must go run into me. You must go pee in my mouth. What happened? Because she bumped into that guy on a sleigh. No, the guy bumped into him or something or what they collided. And then he was, he was ambulance chasing.

He was trying to really just, is that what happened? He was trying to, he was claiming that like, that their collision cost him like millions of dollars and whatever, whatever. And, and then, um, but just riveting when, um, when, uh, she was, uh, on the stand and that woman was trying to befriend her, try to like, and then trying to get her and she wouldn't be got.

She makes me sick. Yeah. That bony bitch makes me sick. She's like giving the medication away and all that stuff. Just like Oprah. We're watching you. Oh my god. Ozempic? Ozempic? Ozempic? Ozempic? But what? I feel like

the joke is that everyone's on it, but the truth is they are. Everyone. How about Melissa McCarthy's Instagram? With Barbara? Honey! Did you see this, Tammy? Melissa McCarthy posts a wonderful picture with a man friend on Instagram. Underneath, Barbara Streisand comments, give my regards to him. Did you see this, Tammy? So Melissa McCarthy posts a wonderful picture with a man friend on Instagram. Underneath, Barbara Streisand comments, give my regards to him. Did you take Ozempic?

I think Barbara must think it's like a DM. She must think it's a private message. I don't know. I don't know. I would say that that is not true because she is Barbara Streisand. No, Barbara Streisand, who is a famous cunt. Famously a cunt. Yeah, famously a cunt. No, Barbara Stanwyck is fabulous. Is the one David loves. Yeah. Barbara Stanwyck? No, Barbara Streisand, who is a famous cunt. Barbara Stanwyck? Yeah, famously a cunt. No, Barbara Stanwyck is fabulous.

Is the one David loves. Yeah. Barbara Stanwyck. And my friend whom I just had breakfast with was wearing a Barbara Stanwyck shirt this morning and has a Barbara Stanwyck tattoo. Oh, my goodness. My reputation. Double indemnity. Oh, that's a good one.

Right up the street from my old house. Yeah? Yeah, the house. See? TMC, Turner Classic Movies. Let's get a job with them. David's been watching that shit. He's been watching live TV.

TCM. Oh, he watches? They're a value channel. They're a really good channel. What is that? Value that they're... The information's good. It's good material.

It's real. TCM, you can't go wrong. No, no. They were saying... Value. It was an infomercial about TCM. Self-indulgent. Oh, God. Who said that? They were saying when TCM, you can't go wrong. No, no. They were saying it was an infomercial about TCM. Self-indulgent. Oh, God.

Who said that? They were saying like when TCM started, they were like, what if we switch it up by showing movies that we think are so good that they've kind of been forgotten? But they're classic movies like Arsenic and Old Lace. Well, I saw Night of the Iguana on there. You did? Ava Gardner. I love Ava Gardner.

Have you ever seen Showboat? I haven't seen Showboat yet. Oh, there's a part where she sings, can't help loving this man of mine. It's not her voice, but it's all these closeups of her face. And her face is really not to be fucked with. David's also been watching Elizabeth Taylor movies.

Nice. My God. The waist, the pointy titties. There's a part where you watch this movie where at the end she goes, God, what did she say? It's like you know for them Kissing on the mouth is straight porn in a movie back then

Two bids baby Two bids That's where we're going shortly with this country and everything Well yes we should They're this close and the guy says like I wish I could begin to tell you Cause they all talk like that I wish I could begin to tell you what you mean to me

And she goes tell mama And that's like a DP. Tell mama all. And that's the last part of the movie. That's DP. Yeah. That's like two dicks up your butthole. Did you see Suddenly Last Summer? Suddenly Last

Summer. No. That's the one where who was in that movie? Was there a DP in that one? She's in there, Elizabeth Taylor. And the one that she shakes like this. What about the one where it says you're all flops? Oh yeah. You're all flops. I think it's Virginia Wolf, isn't it? Virginia Wolf. Flops.

And then there's a cat on a tin roof. Cat on a hot tin roof. Paul Newman. Oh, I like him. I want to be the Paul Newman of drag. That's my thing. He made salad dressings. I make jalapeño. Well, you're practically becoming that. We'll do it together.

She's got a good ranch. Uh-huh. I can't eat dairy. Okay. You can't eat dairy? No. She can't. She's on a gluten-free, fun-free, dairy-free lifestyle. So no sweet cream icing on your cake this year?

No, nothing. I can't even eat cake because it's made with butter and shit. What are you doing? Girl, I just breathe. She's starving to death. She's wasting away before our very eyes. Last two dates ago, I said, you know what? I don't drink anymore, but now that I can't have any fun food,

I'm going to have a glass of wine. I was like, you know what? I deserve this. I'm a busy mom, you know. She was cursed by a Hungarian gypsy. What happened? I had a glass of wine. The level of hangover I had the next day. Really?

The trainer came over and I had to exercise outside and I almost threw up. Well, you must have an allergy. Maybe it's just sick to stick to agave or something more native to the lands. No, but a lot of Native American people, alcohol doesn't agree with them either. Well, it's a problem. That's a thing. That's what I'm getting at. Hello, Ojibwe.

Thank you. Clock the tea, honey. Fuck it. But I just wish I could. I don't think I'm going to go back to it. Do you smoke weed, Tammy? I smoke all the time. Highly functioning. Yes, I do.. Fuck it. But I just wish I could. I don't think I'm going to go back to... Do you smoke weed, Tammy? I smoke all the time. Highly functioning. Yes, I do. I like it. I have

a hard time. I think I'm high functioning. The next day I'm like, I don't remember going to bed. Really? Maybe it's not for you. She's on the 101 naked carrying it. Or maybe you should do the CBD if that calms you down or something like that. For me, the secret is less is more. Do the little one puff and then go about your. For me, the secret is like cock and ball. Less is more.

Do like the little one puff and then go about your day. If you stand there and smoke, you're going to like truly. What about a gummy? I don't like the hangover. From a gummy? From the edibles. Really? Let me tell you, darling.

There I was the next day with a hangover. I only used it for holidays. Really? You know what gives me a little bit of a hangover too? Crack. No, I can just use it. I'm good on that. Heroin?

Yeah, meth. Well, I'm not going to get hungover because I don't stop. Tea. Really? Oh, yeah. Of course, tea. What about Adderall? Yeah, P&P.

Adderall works, but then you got to crush it up. Show it up my butt. Cocoa puff. Oh, yeah. I'll sprinkle it on cereal I love to smoke a little bit of the weed This is my new thing Do a little puff of weed and go for a walk You know what you're doing She is bad

It's all about environment, and then you really gotta block out bad thoughts Oh, you always have to be in control of that You have to be in control of bad thoughts Bene Gesserit? Okay, I don't know about that Mind control thoughts. Oh, you always have to be in control of that. You have to be in control of bad thoughts. Benegezerin? Benegezerin. Okay, I don't know about that. Mind control. Because either you start thinking about everything bad you've ever done or you can kind of maneuver

it mentally to go, you know what? This house could burn down and living is just living and we're going to be okay. That's the time you take a little mental note, save that thought for later and masturbate. Bam. Let's take a break. Stroke it up. Are you Dave, a claims-free hybrid driving university grad who signed up online? Well, Dave, this jingle's for you.

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Ready for you. Oh my God, we're back and we're talking about masturbation with Tammy Brown. When was the last time you masturbated? Female strokers. How did you learn to masturbate? Did you teach yourself or did you learn in the streets?

Oh, I learned. Correspondence course. I learned on my own. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Drag queens are self-teachers, I think. I think any young child is.

Sometimes you might use the dove soap or the ivory soap or some soap, and it gives you a stingy, dingy, dingy-lingy. You ever put a shampoo bottle up your ass? No, but I knew a fellow who could put his ding-a-ling in a shampoo bottle. Guilty. You too. Tiny penis. Look at you.

Good. Good to know. Yeah. I have one of those penises where if I even wash it too much with like a fragrance soap, it hurts my pee hole. You're sensitive in many ways. In many ways. Very sensitive.

Do you like perfumes? Love. How do you feel about this? I hate it here. I hate when she and I say the same thing. We don't just say the same thing, Tammy. We say it at the same time in the same tone with the same intention.

Because y'all are unison. You're unison. It's so sick. It's also'all are unison. You're unison. It's so sick. It's also just like the original. You're in rhythm, baby. That's why y'all are always together.

Can't shake each other loose. Oh, God. Up and down, in and out. How many years have y'all been together already? 16 strong. 16?

Yeah, absolutely. But that's how I feel about you, Tammy, too. There's some people you just click with and just like move on Oh my god I had Jada Essence Hall

On the pit stop And she said She said Trixie You and I should do a show Where we go to towns And like do drag And like help people I said Jada

That literally is worth you And she was like Oh right I was like girl Tammy She's like us Because you know why We work together so well Tammy

We both are never late And neither are you I'll tell you what I want to do I should have been 2.30 today I want to come back On your Netflix If you do the Netflix again

Or whenever you're doing that I want to come back Sign me up for two shows Did you love it? I like the check It was fun right? Yeah it was fun and easy And I know you can't

Recommend shows But I am watching A Netflix show It's Siempre Reinas With Lucia Mendes And Dulce and some other... What did you and I watch?

We watched Griselda? No, I wish. I know all about her as well. Oh, that was a good one. Now let me ask you something. Why would they put Sofia Vergara in that with that nose? Which nose? You should see Lucia Mendes' face and her perfume smells good though. Full of pheromones.

You're a perfume gal in drag. I like perfume in and out of drag. I would hope that every drag queen is a perfume queen. No, there's a lot of people that are not into perfumes. Are you out of your mind? They say, I smell, huh? They're not even deodorant queens, these people. Oh, Jesus.

Oh, well, I understand that. No, I'm not talking about stinky dinky. I'm talking about people that are like, oh, you smell like a department store. Ew, you smell like chemicals. There's a whole movement out there. What? What? Yes, of people that are not into perfumes and colognes.

But I'll tell you what, my baby, my midnight rider, he tells me, Tommy, you smell so good. Are you guys dating? Oh. You and this person Well, midnight rides Yeah, we have a good time Does he like you in drag? He likes me either way, I'm fluid that way, you know

I'm a conduit Always have been, to be honest with you That's why growing up my father would try to push this I can't apply that, I wish I could But, you know, not legal, right? You know, jibway You can crown me I can't apply that. I wish I could, but not legal, right? I think it's okay. You can crown me. Yeah, me, a white-skinned person.

My family used to go to the reservation to pick up cigarettes because they were cheaper, which is the most white trash thing you could do. You're Ojibwe, so you're allowed to. Come on. Yeah, I used to feel bad about it, and then I was like, well, this is a rich history of raping and pillaging. And so when it comes to like blood quantums, it's like. But I'm going to tell you what, if the big one hits, you go to the reservation. I mean, that's why I'm hanging out with my friend Danny.

I said, you know, take me to the Denae station, Denae reservation, because when the big one hits, they can't mess with that. Thank you. I did always ask my mom, like, my mom, because we lived very, very, very poor. I was always like, why don't we live on the reservation? Because I knew my mom could get housing and stuff. And my mom was just not into that.

She was like, we were not a family that loved the idea of going back to live on the reservation. My mom was really into not living on the reservation. Do you make reservations at restaurants? I use Open Table. I make a reso.? I use Open Table. Okay. I make a rezzo. When I go to the Rios in Hollywood, they know exactly who I am and they know exactly what table to put me at. What is that?

A rezzo some restaurant? Do you love Italian food? I love Italian food. Have you been to Il Cielo? Not yet. The Sky? Yeah. But I have been to Rome, I tell you.

The bread and butter in Rome. What notes do you like in your perfumes and smells? Well, I do like... You your perfumes and smells? Well, I do like Woody scents. I like arrows. Versace smells. I like, uh,

that's nice. Dylan blue. And then fresh. I like the fresh one. I like a CK one. Always fresh, fresh, very fresh.

And then I like, what else do I like? White diamonds, Elizabeth Adams. You know, I thought, uh, Elizabeth Taylor's red door, but Elizabeth Ottomans. You know, I thought Elizabeth Taylor's White Diamonds.

But it's too strong. Red Bottoms, Brown Ass. I like Roses. Pink Friday. They've called me the Bulgarian Rose. Pink Friday as in your hiney. Pink Friday. What about Shit Ass? What about Baseball Glove?

Baseball Glove? Is that a Red Sox fisting glove? I want to bat you. Is that a Red Sox fisting reference? I don't know. I just decided to throw it out there because I have heard about Shaquille O'Neal or somebody was designing a perfume and they put the glove in there. Did you say Shaquille? Shaquille O'Neal. That's his name, right?

Well, of course I said Shaquille O'Neal. I'm in with pop culture. You know why I used to like the San Antonio Spurs? Because David Letterman used to have that Dennis Rodman on there. Oh, totally. And I'd be like, oh, I'm going to get some of those tickets because I'd give them away for take the kids up there to see that sports game over there.

And I said, I'm going to get me some tickets to see Dennis Rodman. Oh, yeah. He's a DJ, Shaquille O'Neal. Now? Yeah, he DJs now. Wouldn't you love to see his eight-foot-tall ass? Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. He's a DJ, Shaquille O'Neal. Now? Yeah, he DJs now. Wouldn't you love to see his eight foot tall ass like, I love.

Now, do you love basketball? What's your favorite sport? You know what? I think that figure skating is lovely. It is, isn't it? It is. I follow Nathan Chen.

I think he's like a multi-gold medalist. He's an amazing figure skater. I love, it's so corny, but when people can figure skate and you're swiping on your little social media, whenever the skaters come up, I watch the whole fucking thing. It's

just hypnotizing. It's beautiful. Adam Rippon actually got me tickets to go see one of their exhibitions and I was like, oh, that's so nice. I went all, drove all the way to Anaheim and he got me the back absolute top row and we, I almost had vertigo fell down. What's up with him? You know, Adam, are you listening to us? Yeah, I got a bone to pick

with you. Because also you flaked out on me because you were messaging me before and now you're not anymore. So Adam Rippon is excommunicated from the Friends of the Heart. No, let's not bully anybody. I mean, he's cute. We don't intend to bully him. We're just going to publicly drag him. Just like the two of you. I know, I like him too.

When we release our home goods with Target, don't check your mailbox, bitch. Okay? Okay. Yeah. Stop payment on all those checks too. Because there's nothing in there for you but coal. There you go. Do you like interior design?

Oh, I love interior design. I think you would be great at it, huh? Over fashion. Oh. Oh, God. Fashion magazines bore me. They're so superficial and abysmal. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. But I do have fashion and style. Y. Oh, God. Fashion magazines bore me. They're so superficial and abysmal. Yeah.

Yeah. But I do have fashion and style. Y'all know that. Of course you do. You sure do. Effortless. Look at the material. How did you develop your style in drag?

How did I develop my style in drag? Naturally. Yours is actually cool. And so I normally don't ask drag queens that because I'm like, oh, you got it from watching Drag Race I know they're leotards and such yeah

souped up clothed horses how did you come up with your thing it's like a mismatch of like repurposed clothing sometimes because a lot of times

it's vintage pieces mixed with like costume pieces it's um what is it it's a eclectic eclectic it's also

natural like a flower garden. Yeah. That's the best way to put it. Because when you look out in nature and all the flowers, they're all different colors put together. Yeah. And you fuck with scarves. You love a scarf.

I do. You know, scarves come in handy. You can use those to put your wigs, wrap your wigs in. That's how I learned that was from Tina Turner. Some vintage clips on VH1 was how they wrapped the wigs in. That's how I learned that was from Tina Turner. Some vintage clips on VH1 was how they wrapped the wigs. There was this little clip on VH1 and show it just little black and white clip back in the day, how she wrapped the wig and a scarf and then put it in the bag. Well, I applied that to my drag way on in high school, you know, but scarves come in super handy. Use them to cover things around your neck. People jerk off with

the silk scarves. Autoerotic asphyxiation. Oh, God. Not joking. Okay. There was a celebrity. Oh, they jerk it off like that? They also jerk off with furs. People jerk off with rabbit furs. That's sensual. Now do they lube it up and get it all wet?

Oh, yes, America. Conan the Bavarian. I'm trying. Conan the Bavarian. And there's also a prolactic, a condom that is a sheepskin. Or lambskin. Whatever. Lamb, sheep.

Hey, that's the way to go. Get off your prep and put on a rubber, bitch. Just kidding, but true. No, no, no. To that point, I would like to just float the idea that maybe we should revisit in this country condom wearing. And you know which is the number one best-selling? It's true.

Well, the best-selling condom in Mexico. Which? You want to the number one bestselling. It's true. Well, the bestselling condom in, in Mexico, which you want to know at all Latin America, jalapeno, jalapeno. That's a spicy one. Or what about rough rider? Huh?

Sure. No, it's not Magnum, but I would like to be sponsored by Magnum here in the United States. Cause we have a condom reference in my show. Jubilee. Jubilee in P town. All over.

All over. You're coming to LA. Yeah. I'm in LA. I just got your invite. The 16th. Yeah. in P-Town. All over. All over. You're coming to LA. Yeah, I'm in LA on the 16th and then Palm Springs on the 10th. Okay. So it's called Prudence Condoms is the number one selling condom in all of Latin America.

Oh, now why is that? They even have a coffee flavor one. Sabor de cafe. That'll wake you up. Sabor de cafe. That will wake you up, I de cafe That will wake you up I get it The best part of waking up

Is a big Latin cock in your mouth It's a big Latin Cocky flipper cock Or you know What if you like A little peaty weedy Oh there you go A what?

A little peaty weedy You know like a little bird Or something A what? Little bird Come land upon my windowsill I know what you're talking about Help me through

The pouring rain Some guy said that. You know, I like that size. It's comfortable. Oh, teeny weenies. Not teeny weenies, but weenie teenies. Weenie teenies, of course. What's too big?

What's too big? Like a broomstick. Yeah. I do think, I think we need to bring back condoms, and I think we do need to bring back small dicks. And there's also- Well, small dicks have always been in. Well, Alaska, she said that, what bring back small dicks. Small dicks have always been in. Well, Alaska, she said that, what was that term she said?

Small dicks matter. They do. I'm not making fun of anybody with a small dick. A micropenis, you can't even see mine. It's an elevator button. But you know what I noticed? And David watches The Housewives and stuff. That's a lift, yes. The women on TV will have very

candid discussions on camera about how they hate small dicks. Yeah. Now, that is the small dick shame pipeline. I don't like it. The small dick shame to serial killer pipeline is deep and vicious. With serial killers? Yeah. They've been shamed publicly by housewives on TV for having small dicks.

They go straight to serial killing. Oh, they do? Yeah. Well, then, you know what? My Ed Kemper's my favorite. The co-ed killer. The co-ed killer. Those are not two ice cream cones.

Huh? Killing sorority girls? First started with his grandfather. Oh. Grandmother. Okay. Into the grandfather on accident, you know. On accident.

Circumstance. I just, I'm back on the dick. Okay. I just feel like we have we're in a world now where you can't critique someone's weight

height like anything but with dicks when somebody has a small dick it does seem to be completely fine cannon fodder

and I do think that's kind of fucked up and it's a problem as long as you don't like have hair on the tip of it or something like on a witch's tit

you know hair on a witch's tit or like know? Hair on a witch's tit. Or like on Gary Oldman's hands in Dracula. Disgusting. Oh, God. Hairy palms. Big, like long, gray hairs. I prefer to be a vampire.

Not a vampire. I can't stand vampires sucking out my youth. I prefer to be a werewolf. Werewolf. Or a zombie. Fuck zombies too. Nasty. Jesus would be a zombie if he came back.

Happy Easter, everyone. Happy Easter. Now, what do you think Jesus' penis looked like? I don't care what his penis looked like because he had 12 apostles and I'm sure they were swinging and dinging on it. And I don't know what Mary Magdalene was doing. There were no food. It was all like cum. More like Mary Magdalene.

Don't hang out with all these gay guys. What about those girls that go on Grindr for friendships, right? She could have been one of those. Michelle Massage is on Grindr. Is she? I think she told me once that she's the only woman they allow. She just looked past. She enjoys the compliments, I'm sure.

I think she's just there to say hey to the folks. What a hag. She's a dysfunctional Virgo, but you know. Thank you. You can quote that. I said that. I'm a Virgo as well. Is that a problem?

You're a Virgo? Yeah. Have you had your tits removed? That's why we're all so close. Yeah. I mean, we're three pigs in a pile or whatever. So what's your birthday? August 23rd.

August 23rd. Look at that. My grandmother was a Virgo and my other grandfather was a Virgo. Oh, really? Texas, huh? Absolutely, yeah. 9481. Really?

Mm-hmm. The Muppets. The Muppets are all Virgos. All of them. Jim Henson, huge Virgo. Oh, so he made all of this little Virgos. Nasty in Virgo. Tammy, do you prefer tall men or short

men? I prefer whatever my heart desires. And I know it's a sign when I get, me estoy empapando. That means I'm getting wet. Letting out my seed. When a man says I'm getting wet. Letting out my seed. When a man says I'm getting wet, it's like either it's pre-com

or you had some illustra and you have some anal leakage perhaps. Remind me for our little one-on-one episode to talk about moisture from the weenie hole. Juicy hiney? Stinking and dinking or some shit ass. Or some funking on the bunking. What about shit ass?

Can I ask you about Mexico? What about shit ass? You know? What about shit ass? Can I ask you about Mexico? What about it? Yes, please. When I went to Puerto Vallarta for Peaches Christ's birthday. Yeah. Peaches Christ's wedding. Wedding.

Wedding. Her wedding. And Tamale's tours. There's a Tammy all over town. No, get out of here. The toast to PV. Oh, my God. Thank you.

Well, guess what? So at the summer camp I was just at, one of the girls. What camp? Wanakiki? Exactly. That one. It was gay camp. Shout of the girls... One of the girls... What, Camp Wanakiki? Exactly, that one. It was gay camp. No,

it's Camp Wanakiki, but they won't let them kiki. Yeah, yeah. What happened, It was Camp Wanapnp, but not... Oh,

gosh. No, but there was a girl, a lovely woman who's like admitted for a day and then she bounced because she hated it. And she was like,

I used to do drag in San Francisco, you know, peaches, heckling it. Well, she did. Yeah, she is dead. So funny, so, I used to do drag in San Francisco. You know, Peaches, Hecklina, Whale. She did. Yeah, she is dead.

So funny. So funny. She said that like drag killed her. Well, she's like, Hecklina, Whale. Hecklina did. I was like. I mean,

it was just the one year anniversary. She had a bus driver wig pull down her eyebrows. It was cunty. So this was the Camp Wanakiki? Camp Wanakiki, yeah. How sweet. Was the one guy there?

He was there, Doug. Oh. No Eddie Danger? No, Eddie Danger wasn't there. Oh, God, he's my favorite ranger. Oh, I know him. And I would like to have him over and do an illustration of his ding-a-ling. Really?

Are you thinking of Camp Wanakiki the drag show? Yeah. She's talking about rehab. Oh, that's okay. Really? That's okay. Oh, I was at summer camp. No, yeah.

Oh, well, that's okay. Yeah. How was it? Inhalants. Horrible. Really? Yeah. Rotten.

I've done some poppers. Have you? Mm-hmm. Had a good time. And I think done some poppers. Have you? Had a good time. And I think rehab and poppers are a lot alike. Well, they had poppers in every bunk bed. Do you like poppers? I don't get it.

I just did it at the table with my Moppet house friends there in P-Town. And I am sponsored by the Crown and Anchor. Shout out to Crown and Anchor. And I will be at the Red Room. The Crown and the Anchor. Crown and the Anchor. Do out to Crown and Anchor. And I will be at the Red Room. The Crown and the Anchor. Crown and the Anchor. Do you know Ryan Landry? Yes.

Back to the paupers. Well, I know a lot of people, but I haven't met Oprah yet. Oh, really? Well, she's really shilling that Ozempic. I find it interesting that Oprah, the billionaire mogul, has had such an ongoing journey and struggle maintaining a desirable weight. Well, life is cruel, isn't it? I guess so. And then you die. Boom. It's hard. Let's take a break. It's hard to lose weight. There's got to be hard. Is it?

Yes. Why do you think so many people struggle with it? Well, just, you know what? Be fluffy. Enjoy your life. Just don't have diabetes. Thank you. My mom lost like 50 pounds. She called me the other day.

Good for her. I don't want to tell her business. She was definitely in the upper 200s. She's in the very lower 200s. Well, I have a friend. They went down and got themselves a trainer and have lost a lot of weight. Wow. I looked at them the other day and I said, well, you sure are looking good. And they said, well, thank you, Tammy.

I have a trainer. That's why I'm getting one this summer again. Good for you. You are huge. And I'm going to be working on the abs and I'm going to be working on my hiney. So there's more cushion for the pushing. Oh, so you're trying to bulk up. Just work on my hiney. Because we end up sitting on our hiney so there's more cushion for the pushing. Oh, so you're trying to bulk up. Just work on my hiney.

Because we end up sitting on our hiney so much and then you get those spots down there, whatever you get from... Shit ass. Right. No! Not excrement or fecal material left over. You show a lot of your real body in drag. And it's a gorgeous figure.

When you take me home, that's what you're going to get. That's what I want them to get. You know what I mean? No Joanne furniture, accoutrement. You know, if that tickles your fancy, if that rocks the world, let them have it. But not for me. Same with that pageant jewelry. You seem like a healthy eater. Aren't you vegetarian?

Well, I would be vegetarian, but it's damn hard on the road. That's tea. I tried. Especially in England, that horrible cuisine. I will tell you, though, England does have the homemade. That's tea. I tried. Especially in England, that horrible cuisine. Well, I will tell you though, England does have the homemade veggie patties. And I've had some good ones over there.

Let me tell you. Are we talking about fucking British guys? No, but I was going to lean myself or yield myself to this one fellow that was into the leather fisting community. Oh, my God. And he was gorgeous in the face. And I thought to myself, well, okay, we'll get this in there. I know.

Come, baby, come. I don't want to look at it. I would just turn my. But they all want to be fisted, Tammy. Really? We're going to save that for the next pod. They all want to be fisted. All of them. Everyone. Well, whatever floats their boat. I don't know what to say at it, I would just turn my... But they all want to be fisted, Tammy. Really? We're going to save that for the next pod. They all want to be fisted. All of them. Everyone. Los Angeles? Well, whatever floats their boat.

I don't know what to say about it, you know. If that's what you want to do, good on you. I hope you can afford a sergeant. That's the thing. No, no, no, no, no. I hope you can afford a huge drop shipment of Depends adult diapers. Oh, God. We had this one guy. He was living at our house

and poor thing. He was on Depends. Uh-huh. At the ripe old age of, I'm sure, 40. No. Well, God. We had this one guy. He was living at our house and poor thing. He was on Depends. Uh-huh. At the ripe old age of, I'm sure, 40. No. Well, he was an alcoholic and squirted it all out. There's this great bunny joke.

You know Bunny, who I've been copying for 15 years. She said, what does it taste like to eat out an old lesbian? Depends. Oh, very nice.

How do you get a gay guy to fuck a woman? Shit in her cunt. Horrible. Stinky pussy. Isn't that horrible? That'd be called stinky pussy. What do you love about doing P-Town? What do I love about P-Town? The Bulgarians. The Bulgarians. They ship them in, those

Eastern Europeans. That's all I want is Bulgarians. That's why I go there. They're always very nice to the drag queens. Is it distinctly, specifically Bulgarian. That's why I go there. I mean, you know. They're always very nice to the drag queens. Yeah, of course. Is it distinctly, specifically Bulgarian or do they also do, because I feel like they do Ukrainian. Oh, there's Jamaicans. Oh. But they're rather boring.

Oh, really? They're making money. And the Turkish, let me talk about them. It's seasonal. Yeah, they're making money. They're building their English skills. And, you know, it's the drag queens who work in the theaters. A lot of the servers and barters are Bulgarians.

So we're like this. I'm sure they're getting their cocks sucked at the dick talk. No, I don't know any dick talk. I know that they get jealous, though, that certain ones are more attracted to me or more into me than others, and they get rather jealous, and they'll say things that so-and-so's down there doing that when they're not. Very jealous. Tommy, what are you doing sucking his dick? And I'm all, oh, well, we're just out riding together.

Why do you care so much? I have the opposite experience. I get in those pedicabs with no panties on, like, can I get a ride? And they're like, pedaling,

looking, they're like, goodbye. I'm like, how much is it? They're like, just get out. Oh my gosh,

well, their rates have gone up. It's $40 a ride. I used to get ready at home and then every day at a show, I had a standing appointment with one of the pedicab people. Just come get me because I take them to the show. They are expensive now.

They should make money. But they treat them like third-class citizens. That's for sure. Put them in small little houses. In P-Town, the different people who, I don't know what you call it, people who come to work for the season. Seasonal employees.

From other countries. Yeah, yeah. Foreign exchange students. They stack them in fucking bunk beds. In tenement housing. Yeah, they do. And the prices are going up. Excuse me.

P-Town is prohibitively expensive. And all the housing sucks in P-Town. It's crazy. But thank you for the sponsorship from the Crown and Anchor, first of all. Thank you, Crown. They put you up. And thank you, Anchor. Yeah, they put me up.

They've been putting me up. That's amazing. Are you living in a bunk bed above three Estonian men? I'm living in the Moppet house. Oh. So, Miss Moppet? Huh? There are 16 of us in there.

Eight of us were artists. I really miss doing B-Town. You do? Well, then come on and hang out. I really want to. Come on. Well, why don't you do something? She'll never do it again.

Every time I do it, I feel like- You know, after three shows a night, you'll sell them out. Or a bigger room. But I always feel like I grow artistically because it's so humiliating because the audiences there are so fucking belligerent. Oh, they do that to you? It's rich white faggots who are like, I'm funny. I'm funny too.

I can do what she does. Because they all think they can do drag. Circuit week is the worst week. Oh, it's absolutely just PNP and poppers and G. Doctors and lawyers. Weekend warriors. Yeah. Circuit week is the worst week. Oh, it's absolutely just P and P and poppers and G. Doctors and lawyers. Uh-huh. Weekend warriors. Who are there to do.

They're there to booty bump about a liter of crystal meth water and do a whole bunch of G. Oh, can't stand them. Yeah. They all have the same roided out back knee. We'll get on a tear on that next episode. And they can't stand us either. No. And they hate the drag queens.

They hate drag queens. They love it. They don't even look at hot boys. They love it for the moment before they G out and then get plowed in a fucking sling by 50 men. I feel like the people used to go to P-Town and seeing shows was the backbone of it. Artists. And now they just want to do drugs in the woods and suck dick at a pool. And going to the show is like pulling teeth.

They should. I was like, what I would love to, I would love to encourage those people is go to Fire Island instead. Go to Fire Island. Go to Fire Island. Right? Ooey sucking dick in the dune. You're going to get sand in your teeth. Deer ticks on your cock and then black widow spiders up your ass.

I honestly think the shows in P-Town are the best part of going. Yeah. Well, that's what we're there for. Go see Barla. And tell me it's not the best thing you've ever fucking seen in your life. No shit. Go see all of another. Dina. Dina. Go see Dina Mart for. Go see Barla. And tell me it's not the best thing you've ever fucking seen in your life. No shit. Go see all of another. Dina.

Dina. Go see Dina Martina. Go see anybody. Go see Tamela. Go see Divas. Yeah. Go see Thirsty Burlington if she's still there. Thirsty.

She's there. She's doing really good with her surgeries. Good. She's incredible. Yeah. But yeah, they're just those insufferable circuit fags really need to get a grip and go to Fire Island and just G out in the water there and die. The best week there, my opinion, is this.

Bear week is a good one. It's the best one. Great vibes. And it's the most diverse week as far as body shapes and sizes. Friendly, fun. They're the great crowd for a drag show. For drag, they are the best crowd. And they love to laugh and they love to make fun of.

Like our theater, you still have the post office? No, please. I was at the post office for a long time, which is Church Pews. And so it seats about 110. Their week could be about 18. Fierce. They're spread out. And it's like throuples of 300 pound men.

They're spread out. But there's some skinny whinnies there too. They call them otters. And otters, wolves, dolphins. Amoebas. Yeah, when they shave them up, they're And otters, gila monsters. Dolphins. Yeah. Amoebas. Yeah. When they shave them up, they're all lizards and gila monsters.

Dolphins. Dolphins. Now are those the ones that do the blow home? Yeah. And they. Really? What is that? Orcas.

Orcas. Oh, they'll. Whale killer. You know, orcas, whale killers. Well,

orcas have male on male behavior. Just let it be known. So do dolphins. Well, sometimes in, girl, sometimes at P10, I'll go down to the beach and I'll still see the twinks and I'll clip those

like a six pack bottle of soda plastic. Cause there's a little, little twinks and the seven up pupils. Yeah. I'll take you on a campaign. Yes. I just, I just got fucking almost,

I got, I'm heated. I got in such deep Instagram jail because science.com or something posted that two whales were having a male on male relationship. They do. Yeah. And they commented like, these are gay animals. And I commented, baggots. Okay. And I got put in such bad time out and Instagram that I couldn't post on my

own stories because it was like hate speech. Well, I'm glad they're cracking down, but you could just say queer, queer icons of the ocean. These are, these are queer non-binary. Well,

you say cock sucking homo losers. Or like, what did it, what did your mom say? You're nothing but a common surfside city cocksucker. Have you been talking to my mom? No, I just made it up right now, but that's going to be a slogan on one of my

t-shirts. Love it. Not kitty section. This way in the gallery, please. Thank you. No dildos back there, so don't worry. Great. Do you remember the part in your show with the shooting? Of course. That was a mass shooting time. Yeah. And there's still a mass shooting time, and I brought all that worry. Great. Do you remember the part in your show with the shooting? Of course. That was a mass shooting time. Yeah.

And there's still a mass shooting time. And I brought all that up. Yeah. Yes. There's a part of the show where you're relaxed. You're in the moment. Tammy's singing. She's saying geisha geisha.

She's singing. Appropriation. Oh God. There's a hard cut where gunshot sound effects happen. And Tammy's like this. And you're like shocked. And she's like, I think you say like shocked and she's like I think you say like and that's what it's like in America right now.

Yeah I did a whole show on that and some lady she ran out crying. But no I did the whole like I said close your eyes and I take you on a whole like story of the you know we're on a grassy knoll somewhere and then I go and then the

surround sound of the theater gunshots start playing it was a shot off shotgun and then you had prop heads with tomato soup

but that was in your mind and I said why don't you go ahead and don't worry I got the perpetrator you can open up your eyes now

because I don't need you to be here signing out paperwork and everything else like that it was fierce you scared the shit out of me yes I did it scared the shit out of me bombs over Baghdad I mean this stuff is real paperwork and everything else like that. It was fierce. Yes,

I did. Bombs over Baghdad. I mean, this stuff is real. Yeah. Oh my God. You know, Jesus was a refugee. Don't forget it.

I've been to the Coptic church. Have you? And I have lit a candle that's in Egypt. See, it's a sign. Let's take a break. Let's take a break. We're back here with Tammy Brown and just the other day I heard somebody talk about

somebody else's toupee and he said I wouldn't ride that rug to Baghdad Oh no The units, the male units in this city are numerous They are deep and vicious and it is breathtaking It's very yes and But it's also a very

no but I won't talk about it. Where they were in the toupees. Everywhere. At the gym. In the spin class. It's like a form of having to compulsively scream. Wig! Wig! Wig!

I just have to go like, I just want to grab it. Really? I have to grab it and go. Now you sound like my mom. She'd clock everybody wearing a wig all the time. Wig watch 911. I have to restrain myself from being in the cinema and screaming.

Really? When we did Netflix, we did The Trust. And Tammy was like, that person has a wig on. I was like, no way. Sure enough. Yeah, I'll never forget it. One episode is Killing Eve season three or something. The Russian brunette who's a guest star

of three episodes could see the glue, the wet glue on the lace. Fade on away in the movie Network. You're kidding. They're always wearing wigs. Netflix they've given up the ghost on the wigs. They're just going out of the costume store. Brown chicken wire like unglued.

Screen door lace. Well, I mean, Nicole Kidman in Big Little Lies season one, there was a $35 Party City wig. Well, that's a pity. People are cheap. Hayden Panettiere in the new Scream, the New York one. It's giving Andy Warhol? It's giving DMV.

Wow. What was his name? It's giving work wig. DMV wow what was his name it's giving work wig he died what was his name I mean he's dead he wore those toupees

oh my god Liberace oh Liberace he wore some wigs of course he did oh look at that behind the candelabra if I was

like like Kathy Griffin for example she has wigs that look exactly like her hair you were with her and then when she tours she just style that wig

Throw it on I think if you have a wig of your wig For like stand up it makes a lot of sense Because why heat damage, heat style your own hair Any movie star is wearing a wig Think about the time in the chair that you saved For the first team From friends

Come back and all that Her name is sweet Lisa Kudrow Everybody's wearing wigs I love her wigs in the comeback I like her wigs period I like that Phoebe wig I was watching Kathy Griffin My Life on the D-List

The comeback Is incredible Is Kathy Griffin My Life on the D-List I mean it's so Yes It's a reality Is Kathy Griffin My Life on the D-List? I mean, it's so inspiring. Oh, is it? Is it really? Yes. Kathy Griffin is just, it's a reality show about her, like, career. And the comeback is a fake reality show about her career.

I mean, they are related. It makes sense. And she's even a redhead in the comeback. Yeah, Valerie Cherish. Yeah. She's not a comic. She's an actress. You know what I liked about the comeback?

We all saw it, right? Yeah, of course. I liked that as ridiculous as it was. RuPaul was in there. She was, yes. That's why you like it. I'm sorry to cut you off. I like it because they made her a good actress. It's kind of ridiculous, but in the scenes

where she actually has to do the sitcom, she gets the laughs. It would have been hard to root for her if she was a flop actress. She beat me to the punch, though, because I was always going to use an Oscar as a doorstop. Wow. I use an Oscar as a dildo. Look at you, very sensual.

I use that because I like the blood. Look at that. Y'all are very sensual. Is that a read? Yeah. Is it true that pigs have like spring dicks? Yes, and soda ducks. Mallard dicks. Those mallards are no joke.

Aren't they? It's sexual assault, right? Mallards are the ones who are like, we're doing this. Dolphins do it as well. Remember when I said that to you? They'll rape you. Rape you down the river. Especially in the Amazon.

They come and take the ladies. They say that's the rumor, the legend. Is it true? Is a good lay? I don't think so. No. I think it would be fun. Now, orcas.

That's a gangbang I'd like to be in the middle of. Big and long. Were you always an environmental activist? I've always liked the environment. And as a child, I used to play a witch out in the woods. In a flower shop. For your rag queens, it's a lot of recycled material, right? Yeah, it's recycled.

Most everything is recycled, yeah. And the facial impressions as well. How long does it take you to make those little guys? Those take up to 16 hours. Wow. We're doing our first show this November, actually, first gallery show in Galveston, Texas. Benefit.

Whoa. When did you start making those? I started, I think, in 2016 in Texas. Benefit. Whoa. When did you start making those? I started, I think, in 2016 was when I started really making them. You make them all by hand. Yeah, and I've been collecting the nylons for about eight years, and I was like, okay. Because I love nylons, and I love the textured

nylons, and they've been around since the 60s. Michelle Visage, dysfunctional Virgo bitch. Bitch? Got sued by Madonna. Do you feel sexy in like color tights and stuff? Do I feel sexy in them? I don't necessarily feel sexy. I just like the fashion or the style and the look. And I get bored with just simply

black fishnet or black nylons, period. I like the design. I'm sorry that she's trying to over-sexualize you. It's very uncomfortable. Oh, it doesn't bother me. I am sexy, you know? I just wondered if she liked the feel of it. Does it make you feel sexy to have fabric legs? That was Caitlyn Jenner. Old big hands.

I get you guys mixed up all the time. Yeah, pantyhose. Rose toes, nose, pantyhose. There's a little rhyme I wrote back in the day. You can ask that to Jackie Beetz, you know. But rose toes, nose, pantyhose. But pantyhose, I just love them. And I have designer ones from all over the world.

That's the number one thing I go to shop for. But the rag queens are made with previously worn designer nylons for all you kinky cats and kittens out there. All you CD lovers. Do you get the gentlemen who are like, I want to sniff your pantyhose? You know what? I get the kind of gentlemen that my baby has a foot fetish.

That's why I'm taking biotin. Oh, okay. Does it, does biotin make, is it for toenail growth? It's for the nails and the hair. Yeah. Maybe they like little hair

on your cuticle. I've taken biotin for, I've taken biotin for, for hair. Laugh at that. But it does make your fingernails grow annoyingly fast. Did it work for you?

It works great. It worked incredible. Look at that. Well, why don't you go down to Greece? No, not Greece. Turkey. Male pattern baldness. What about Turkey? You can go over there and get those plugs put in. No, she doesn't have enough hair to do it with.

Really? I want to plug it from what? I like it from what? We'll get one of those nice wigs that they wear here in town. Being bald works for me. I know, I'm just kidding. In fact, the Uber driver dropped me off on the other side And I thought you'd be out on the balcony

When I got dropped off over here So I was looking on the other side of the street And I was talking to You left it like a Vita, just like, hello You'd welcome me, I would do that, why not Gotta live the fantasy You know, we are in Hollywood, right? Mae West lived down the street

I'm sure she did it with all her Lindsay Lohan terrorized my former neighborhood. She did? Absolutely. Actually, the house that I'm trying to sell is featured in The Bling Ring. Fuck her. You know, so there I was walking along your street, and I thought, this bald-headed man was you. Right.

And I said that to the assistant coordinator. May I say their name? Yeah, please. I was on the phone with them, and I said, this ball hit a person across the street. Looks like Trixie. Must be her. And then he looked and, God, ugly face. Oh, so it really was me. And I was on the phone with your coordinator

Trixie. What is it? Trixie? It's Tracy. Tracy. Tracy, Trixie. Did he have a dump truck? Huh? Did he have a dumper? No. A big fat jam. But I am in a gravel truck in my time machine video. Time machine video. It's really cute.

By the way, you have a beautiful head of gorgeous curly hair. You do. Oh, thank you. It's just stunning. Thank you. Do you dye it? My baby was touching it like this. It's gorgeous.

And he said, Tommy, I like this little girl's love. Do people say you look like Clark Gable? Thank you, but I don't like Clark Gable anymore because he's a rapist. I think we found our episode title. People probably don't even know who Clark Gable is. A good raping with Tammy Brown. I've only seen him in like two movies. Which one? Gone with the Wind?

No, never seen it. Don't be mad. I'm not a Clark Gable fan. I think he's gorgeous and I would like a portrait of him without the mustache because when he had such a baby face in his younger days. You know Cary Grant. Cary Grant. I prefer that. And then who's the other one I really like? Who's the guy that Elizabeth Taylor was friends with

who was in the car accident? The car accident. Let's do a little Google there. I don't think we have the capability. Really? He was blonde. I just watched some movies with him. David Bowie.

And after the car accident, he wouldn't be seen like front on. So all of the shots are from the side because I think the reconstruction things, he went from a Ken doll to normal level hot. Montgomery Cliff, yes.

And he was queer. Jane Mansfield. She was not decapitated. She was coming back from New Orleans. Let's get the story straight. The chihuahua might have lost his head. It was a wig. Oh. Okay.

On that note, I think we gotta... Who was the one that he was in that movie, Deliverance? Oh, God. And he's the one wearing those wigs all the time. Big time rape movie. Have you ever seen it? Really? Are you kidding me? And he's the one wearing those wigs all the time Big time rape movie And he was on groups

Really? Are you kidding me? The movie is all about being raped in the woods by gay men They were clobbering them good Can I just say, call me old fashioned I like to have sex with people who want to have sex with me I concur Nothing sexier about someone says

Let's do sex, I really want that. Well, I think I like the passive necrophiliacs. They like when rigor mortis sets in and have their way. They got a small window and they jump right on that dead dick. Listen, I have arthritis. Like I can stiffen up. Really? We can do a fake rigor mortis.

Well, you better go to Montana and get in one of those mines and it helps your body with the, you know. Really? I was going to become one of those rich white people that stings themselves with bees. Okay, do it. Do you know about that? Oh, yeah. Bee stinging clinics?

Absolutely. Yeah, but they're going to die. I know. That's not good. But that's okay. Whatever it takes. Besides, the honeybees aren't the ones we need to protect. We need to protect all the other pollinators.

The honeybees make the money. That's why we're always protecting them. But the other ones are the ones that need to be protected. The bees. Yeah, just bees and butterflies and those other pollinators. Oh, yeah. Bumblebee, you know. Bees matter.

Mr. Bumblebee. Bees are a bipartisan issue. Thank you. With no bees, we have no flowers pollinated, which means we have no oxygen, which means we die. Yeah. Cell phone radiation. And this country is just number one plastic contaminator around the world. Oh, absolutely.

Our last time I looked, number two in admissions. I know. I wish Iran would blow contaminated around the world. Oh, absolutely. Last time I looked, number two in admissions. I know. I wish Iran would blow us off the map. Oh, God. I just wish that they would liberate all those men because I talked to some of them over there. Oh, what happened? Habibi, welcome to Dubai. Dubai.

That's one circuit. I think we're going to wrap it up. Tammy, where can the people support you? Where can they support me? Online. You can also my TikTok, Planet Tammy. Don't let them delete TikTok. That's fascism.

Oh, right. So Planet Tammy on Instagram, Planet Tammy on TikTok, Planet Tammy on Facebook. My YouTube channel, It's Tammy Brown. It's Tammy Brown. You can see me on the OutTV channel. Yes. OutTV channel, $2.99 subscription. It's fruit TV in the UK and all the Commonwealth countries.

And they better check you out on the Browns, which is absolutely sensational. Thank you. And the Browns now is on Amazon prime as well. Second season, but that's been shelved. Oh, what?

By the network. That's not a bitch. They'd rather talk about dicks and shit. Well, they need to shit ass. I recommend everybody see you live because there's nothing like it. And also, you know, a lot of drag queens in person don't look so great. Tammy somehow looks even better in person.

It's amazing. You're nice. Thank you. You always deliver in person. You look perfect. You really do. You're fucking, yeah, it's incredible. The only one who knows how to fucking glue their eyebrows down.

Well, I don't do that anymore so much. You know who taught me how to do that the right way? Who? Raven. Of course. She's got it all figured out, doesn't she? Yeah, she's got it all figured out. Okay, well, thank you so much, Tammy. Thank you. And see you all next time. Bye.