The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Tammie Brown's Tallywhacker Extravaganza with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: July 8, 2025

The otherworldly icon herself, Tammie Brown, returns for another deliriously unhinged chat as the trio dives headfirst into the sky-high rents of Provincetown, the socio-political effects of pube-dying, and why Tammie was quite literally born for reality television. Expect cosmic wisdom, hard-boiled egg recipes, and at least one off-topic rant about Hugh Hefner's canine predilections. Planning a Summer trip? Your home might be worth more than you think! Find out how much at ⁠https://Airbnb.com/host⁠ Interested in GLP-1's? Go to https://RO.co/BALD for your free insurance check today! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://Betterhelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self! Follow Tammie: @PlanetTammie Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipsYT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://trixieandkatyalive.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://workinggirlsbook.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemotel.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Listen Anywhere! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   Follow Trixie: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemattel.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@trixie⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   Follow Katya: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.welovekatya.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/welovekatya/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠    About the Podcast: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya features a pair of grizzled gay ghouls sitting on chairs, holding microphones, and discussing their fabulous lives in Tinseltown. (featuring occasional forays into movies, television shows, and air-conditioning) The New York Times called them models, moguls, actors, influencers, drag queens, RuPaul's Drag Race contestants, and even humanoids. If one thing can be said about these two preternaturally gorgeous queens' podcast, it's that Trixie and Katya find the sheer, unadulterated beauty of pure insanity. Tune in every week to experience the auditory pleasure that is The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya. #TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is sponsored by Ro. Ever feel like getting a prescription for azemba growagovia is a full-time job? Between phone trees, hold music, and paperwork, who has the energy? Especially when the goal is better health. That's why there's Ro. Ro's free insurance checker slices through the red tape. Snap a pic of your insurance card, hit submit, and relax. Within days you'll get a clear, easy to read report showing whether your plan covers GLP-1 medications, no paperwork, no negotiating, no elevator music purgatory. So ditch the phone maze and focus on you. Visit ro.co.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.gov.co.gov.au for your free insurance check. That's ro.co.gov.au to see if your insurance covers GLP-1s for free.

Go to ro.co.gov.au for black box warning and full safety information about GLP-1 medications. It won't take long to tell you Neutrals ingredients. Vodka, soda, natural flavours. So what should we talk about? No sugar added? Neutral, refreshingly simple. Hey, we know you probably hit play to escape your business banking, not think about it. But what if we told you there was a way to skip over the pressures of banking? By matching with a TD Small Business Account Manager, you can get the proactive business

banking advice and support your business needs. Ready to press play? Get up to $2,700 when you open select small business banking products. Yep, that's $2,700 to turn up your business. Visit td.com slash smallbusinessmatch to learn more. Conditions apply. Ladies and gentlemen, you know her from cross dressing. You know her from drag race.

You know her from the Browns. You know her from being Kelly Mantle's friend and also our friend. And you know her from her upcoming show in Provincetown in the Red Room this summer. Give it up for Tammy Brown. Woo! Exciting.

You know, when I listen to other podcasts, we never do intros, we just start talking and then the listener's probably like, who the fuck is going on? The listeners liked me being on here, that's why I said I have to come back and promote my show in Provincetown, the Red Room. It's called Ethereal, I have a new single,

let's make it the song of the summer. Let's do it. Let's have an Ethereal summer. I better believe it. It's a feeling. I have seen a show in the Red Room and it's, they got the good air conditioning down there. What's the Red Room look like?

What's the pews? They got... No, they don't got pews. That's the post office. Oh, the post office. That's where they don't have the good air conditioning. That's where I was. I was there too. Oh, yes. She did it too. Not with you, the post office. That's where they don't have the good air conditioning. That's where I was. I was there too?

Oh yeah, Jess, she did it too. Well, not with you, but before you. Different summers. How many seating in the post office? Huh? How many? 110 maybe in the post office, right? 110.

And the red room is a little smaller. Little smaller. But they have two rooms now. They're gonna put people upstairs as well. And Ginger Minj will be there this summer. Oh, she's so good. And you're gonna be there? Yes, I'm DJing at the Red Room.

Oh, DJing. I'm doing one weekend at the Red Room if you wanna come dance. And I'm not doing drag on vacation. Don't yell at me. Don't look so rude. Well, I don't want people to be mad, but I also don't wanna advertise that I'm in drag

if I'm not. And then they have a right to be bad. So come see me bald and sweating drunk. How would you advertise that? DJ Trixie Mattel out of drag? Or DJ Egghead? DJ Trix. DJ Trix.

Obviously all of you have been wanting me out of drag for years. Because they wanna fuck me. They don't like to do it with your makeup on? Well, I think they get intimidated. Sensual rhythms. Sensual rhythms. Yes, baby.

I love this wig you've been wearing, this like blonde mullet, kind of chopping the front with the long piece. That's it, you know, vanity, wigs by vanity. Oh yeah. Shaking ghosts. Shout out to vanity. Shout out to vanity.

Shout out to vanity. Can I be honest? I have really wholeheartedly embraced the hard front wig revolution. Vanity just sort of said, nevermind, we're doing hard fronts again. And I said, okay. I'm sick of lace fronts, to be honest with you're doing hard fronts again. And I said, okay.

It's a wig. I'm sick of lace fronts, to be honest with you. Very sick of it. I'm bored with them. Everybody has one from here to kingdoms come. Yeah, let's go back to some hard, hard fringe, hard plastic fringe. Shout out to Morgan McMichaels

with her hard fronts back in the day. Ooh, God. We love you, Morgan, don't worry. Shout out. That'd be a good dance night, hard front. Hard front. Ooh yeah. Hard front, lace back, hard front.

Give me the maneuvers baby. What do you think you would be doing if you didn't do drag at this moment in time? That's a good question. That's something I would be doing. You're going on like 25 years of Tammy about? Yeah, 25. Are you serious?

How old are you? For sure 25 already. Yeah, cause I went to 20 years of Tammy, which is about five years ago. 44. 44. You went to 20 years of Tammy. Wasn't that 2021?

Was it right after COVID or right before? No, it was 2019. Girl, then it's 26 years of Tammy. Before the big one hit. The big one. The big one. The big one. COVID. That's what I call COVID.

Shit. Gosh. And I would have probably been living up in San Francisco if COVID didn't hit. Really? Yeah. It's so expensive. I was there in, well, I was in Oakland,

which I know is different than San Francisco. Yeah. It's expensive everywhere though, period. The cost of living. But I love San Francisco. You do? My favorite city. I do too. It's so pretty. It is. I mean, yeah, I guess all my memories of there are the human shit coming out of the feces, like the human shit coming out of the feces and the shooting up.

How they say defecate in Bulgarian. There you go. A lot of Bulgarians in P-Town. Is it really? They love us. They're seasonal workers, right? They love us. And they love us. Some of the gentlemen callers. Have you ever... Get in the pity cab and cross your legs a lot and say like,

ooh, you're so... God, you must work out a lot doing this. I just give them a massage. And smoke weed with them, you know, stuff like that. Is weed legal in Massachusetts? Yes. Oh, cool. Good. Is there dispensaries in P-Town now?

There's got to be. Oh, thank God. There's got to be. I've been doing a lot of weed, and now when I go places where it's illegal, I'm like, what do we do? Go to a high school football game and panhandle? Oh my God. Panhandle.

It's just too hard to get marijuana in the states where it's illegal. How many states is it not legal in? Well, I'll tell you. We're in Patela, Idaho, over there in Idaho. Poquatela, Idaho. I like it there. Main and vintage, that's where I got this and this.

I love your little shirt. Thank you. Very cute. It's my best. You're 44 years old? 44, be 45, September 15th. Holy shit. Full head of hair.

Full head of luscious, gorgeous, real hair. Getting my grays. Girl. There's like three or four grays right now. The only time I'm gonna know I'm gray is gonna be in the pubes. Really? I mean, how else would I know? The eyebrows maybe?

That's tough. Do you think you'll dye them? Can I tell you? Well, why not? I have seen people with, I do think like blue armpit hair is like kinda cute. No. Or like a blue beard.

I do like eyebrows. I'm just saying, I like other parts of the body colored hair, so would I hate colored pubes? I don't know. Oh no. Really? I don't think it's a good look. Would you use the chemical or would you use like henna?

Well you could use, henna pubes. You could use vegetable dye. Yes. But you can't really remove, the only way to remove color would be to bleach your pubes. I don't know if you want to do a lightener on the pubic area. Why not? Ay, ay, ay, ay.

Well, like Nick is blonde. Yeah. So presumably Nick has some blondish pubes, so they'll take color. My pubes are jet black. This is what I suggest. Oh my God. Because you put some of the peroxides on there

and go lay out in the sun. Oh, like a leave, like a sun in. I do sun in on my pubes, lemon juice. No, no, no. And then, then you can dye it with like Easter egg dye or something food coloring like that. Like a natural dye. Ah, yeah, baby, why not?

Easter egg dye those pubes. Well, sometimes I see the little white doggies walking around that have been colored and they use vegetable dye. Okay. Because you know, you're not going to put harmful chemicals on your terrier. On your dog for Easter. On your terrier is dingling.

Right. What's been going on with the gentleman callers? Are you dating? No, I don't date. I just have a lot of fun. Why? What happened? Nothing.

Did they tell you about that? Are you dating Tammy? No, I just see people. Did they tell you about that? Are you dating Tammy? No, I just see people. Did they tell you about that? I just see people, lie my friends around. Are you a single gal? I'm single to mingle.

Okay. Yeah. You like being alone? I don't mind being alone. I like to cuddle though. Yeah. That's what I do. I guess I'm considered what they would say a side.

Oh, tell us what that is actually. A side sleeper? A side sleeper. What is that exactly though? Cause it's not a top or a bottom, right? It's a- Versatile. Versatile, okay.

Asexual would need to be. Asexual would need to be. I thought side was you don't wanna do- You don't do anal. That's what I thought too. You just suck in and duck in. Oh my God. Anal's a lot.

Anal's a lot. It is a lot. Yeah, tell me about it. It is a lot. Yeah? Tell me about it. I haven't done anal in so long. Do you have the ones where like you don't, you can put it in there and nothing comes out? You know, I'm, I'm a bottom, but I've never related to bottom culture.

What? Really? Oh my god. Well, I do feel like if you're a bottom, you're supposed to be basically like a crack head for cock up your ass. Oh yeah, like, un-satiable. All the cocks on my ass. You want all hours. You want as many as you can. You want big. You want hard. You want to be, you know, ravaged.

And I think that I like to enjoy bottoming the way people would enjoy, you know, a cigar. Yeah. One at a time. Every once in a while. Cruise control? Yeah. Yeah, like, I don't need it to be, it doesn't need to be violent for me. It doesn't need to be as many as possible in a day. Or a marathon. A marathon, yeah, yeah. My goodness.

Whatever works. I mean, you could use a carrot if you need to. Or a cucumber. Oh yeah, cucumber. Cucumber, cucumber, cucumber. That's for French. Do you speak Spanish? Yeah, I for French. Do you speak Spanish? Yeah, I speak Spanish.

Do you speak French? And I'm learning Nauwalt. Oom-poom, oom-poom. You're learning which one? That's a little bit of French. Nauwalt, I think we talked about this last year. And then I am learning Bulgarian as well. Really?

Oh my God, you're gonna be able to gag them in P-town. Strovei, that means heart. Oh, I love that. And sash, sash means heart. Okay. So wookie means kiss. Wookie. In Provincetown, a lot of people come from Bulgaria to work for the summer. The seasonal workers. So it's like young 20, 25 year olds

just making cash in hand, doing their thing. Partying every night. Maybe. Bulgarian music, bump it. La la la la la la la la la la. Chauga, chauga is what the music is called, chauga. Chauga? Uh huh.

I have a Bulgarian masseuse who is so hot. Oh my God, he's so is what the music is called. Chowga. Chowga? I have a Bulgarian masseuse who is so hot. Oh my God, he could just break me in half. I love that man. Mine say to me, Tami, I cannot say no to you. Tami, Tami. Tami. Tami.

And I learned the Cyrillic alphabet. Oh yeah? Oh yeah, because they do have the Cyrillic alphabet. Like you. In fact, I sent a picture of the back of your album. It says something on the... what does it say on the back back there? I don't know. It's in Russian.

Yeah. Is Russian the Cyrillic alphabet? What is the word on the... I don't know. What did we... on the back of my... Your album, one of the songs is titled in Russian. Oh, Glass. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It means eyeball. Uchina Kolka means kitty cat eyes. Kitty cat eyes? Okay. And then there was one-eyed Ron, and he would take his glass eye and lay it on the counter. There was a woman, I was a- I worked at a restaurant, and there was an older woman, and she had a fake eye. And they said that if you grad- because a lot of people work there were high schoolers, you know, dish washing, dishes, whatever. If you graduated that she would take it out and show you.

I never got to see it. What? Ew. Freaking. Can you really just pop it out? But the owner of the restaurant was- You can't just pop it out. Yes. Yeah, you pop it out.

Well, I mean, they take it out at night. They have to. Are you serious? Right? You don't sleep with it in. You sleep with it? You pop out your eye high? They don't want to roll out and swallow it. Damn. There's this gentleman I watch on Instagram, Reels,

and he has a collection of different eyes. Oh my God. And so it'll be like, show me your green one. And he has like special effects ones. I think... Sparkler? I would be fun to have like a glitter one, right? Glitter high?

Yeah. Glitter high, the sparkler. Yeah. I mean, obviously I've never lost a limb, but I think if I lost an appendage or a limb, I would, my instinct would be to have wild abandon with the color and textures. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know? Yeah. Like a prosthetic? Yeah, like checker, rainbow, or all different types, you know. We were gonna buy a prosthetic leg once up there in Portland, Oregon in the thrift shops, and this guy came and swept it up right as soon as he saw us.

Competitive thrifters. Totally. You know, competitive housing in P-Town, I got housing for a week this year. I think it was 10 grand. Oh, you wanna hear my situation? 10 grand. Are you serious?

Well, it's a three bedroom, because I have some friends coming. Ten grand for a week. My summer is, it's renting, it's 20, 20, $20,000. And then I put the money deposit down everything. It's a little bungalow. And then they turn around and said that our cottage, so to speak. And then they turn around and said there's not going to be any bed sheets, no linens.

I had to bring my own linens. Fierce. Damn. Fucking hell. Robinstown, I swear. The housing is so crazy. And do you either have to have like a shitty place with a million roommates or just like paint an arm and a leg?

Last year I was in the Muppet house, but we're not there anymore. Damn. I say with Peaches Christ and I lived together one summer. What was the one, what was the summer where like somebody almost burned the place down? Oh, Raja. Raja.

Raja. Who acts like she doesn't remember this. And she might not. Because I've seen that horror. I've done P-Town with her as you have. She'd have like two weed cookies and a bottle of wine and then go perform. Fuckin' A.

And go sing Adam Lambert music. But for real. That's so crazy. And she stayed in my, my first summer there, Diana, our manager, my former manager, she was like, can Raja stay in your house for a week? Cause you're not going to be there and you're already renting.

And I said, sure. And then I get a call that the police were called and the fire department came cause Raja got home from the bar. Raja, I've told the story and she knows. She was hard boiling eggs and fell asleep. Jesus Christ. Come up from the bar and hard knows yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She was hard-boiling eggs and fell asleep As crime hard-boiled some eggs that is so wild I want the wet

Weird wet beer for the eggs Eggs and wine oh And they just sleep with both legs in the air. I don't get pickled We get what I'm saying. Yeah, no for real pressure cooked So but you stayed with me remember it had no air conditioning no Wi-Fi Oh my God. Well, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, no, for real. Fermented. Pressure cooked. Oh my God. So, but you stayed with me. Remember it had no air conditioning, no wifi. It was like a rustic, it was crazy.

It was like rustic cabin in the woods kind of vibes. It was wild. That's one issue I have with Provincetown besides going round and round and round. And it's so expensive. It's ridiculous. It's expensive. It's ridiculous.

Are you listening? You don't care. Mayor of Provincetown, please lower your prices. East coast attitude. It was like eight grand. That is so fucked up. And it was no, like it was no wifi, no air conditioning. The shower was in the kitchen with the toilet.

Like it was, yes. Yes, that's how it is there. Why is that allowed to happen? And then the other apartment I rented in 2019 with Ezra Tewalo, shout out to Ezra. Ezra. Hey Ezra. out to Ezra. Ezra! Hey! Wonderful singer.

Oh, he makes you cry tenderly. He was an NFL player who sings and he sings like a broken angel from heaven. And he has a ring to prove it. Damn. Okay. But we were sitting in our apartment and electricity went off. And then they also told us a $16,000 rent. They said that it wasn't included electricity.

Electricity was not included in the $16,000 rent. And they didn't tell us. They were sitting in there and the lights went out. Fierce. I thought maybe it was a power outage in town because those things happen being that it's a peninsula. Oh my God. That's what people don't realize too is like,

how many shows as an artist you have to do before you actually even break even with your housing and then you collect profit. It takes a lot of shows to pay for the summer. Food, travel. And everybody has to bark, right? I like it. I mean, it's okay.

I prefer to bark there than I would in Puerto Vallarta. Oh gosh. To be honest, in P-Town sometimes, I don't know if you feel this way to me some days I just was like I don't want to do the show and barking forces you to Get on get into it. You better get into it, honey Yeah, and other people's energy when they come up to you gets you a little bit show mode. You're like alright. I'm pissed It's hot, but yeah, I just think about all of another show girl. They're screaming showgirls showgirl showgirl showgirl

We got shows, we got shows. That's Brian's, Varla Jean Merman's Brian, you know him? Who else? Varla Jean's assistant. Oh. Her assistant, Brian. We got shows. Shows.

We got shows. He keeps trying to invite me to the Nudie Beach over there where they're swinging and dingin'. I'm not gonna do any of that. Is that the one on the West End? I believe so. Yeah, I've never been there either, and I see the little, I think the word is baguettes.

Baguettes. In their like tiny shitty bike shorts, like their tiny shitty nautical outfits. Oh. And they all love to do that bandana shit, bandana on the neck. You can like fuck me, I'm like a little boy scout, fuck me.

Oh my God, grab the back and hold it. Yes. Oh my God. And it's like. And it's like. The shopping bag. They're biking with the bike seat straight up the fuck and collapsed asshole. No seat. No seat. No seat.

And they're going to go, I guess, get naked. Oh, they are naked. There's a new beach at Peetown. Yeah, you didn't know that? But I didn't know that. I mean, I never know. There's the Dick Dock, which is, that's wet and wild and that's dark. Love the Dick Dock.

But the beach is naked daytime. Uh-huh. And the girls bike out there and let their little peanuts hang. Uh-huh. It's the whole beach? Like,-huh. It's the whole beach? Like how big? It's the whole beach. Stop.

The beach of holes. How big of a section is it? I haven't been there myself. I just keep getting invited, but I'm just not into that so much. They call it Boy Beach, right? Yeah, something like that. Do we just do public nudity?

I don't do that. No. You can do it in San Francisco, all about town. Yeah. That is true. And people surely do do that. You're sure they're buying an ice cream cone. Just completely butt naked except for shoes.

Mm-hmm. Getting a cookie. Yeah. Soft serve. The nude people are funny to me, but I love when they're going places and they're like, here's my butt towel. And they put their butt towel down so they can like sit.

Oh, I would hope so. It's very, not me. I would spread the cheeks and seal myself. Seal myself to the white furniture, no problem. That happens though. missing in Italy. Big Rosti stolen from Germany. Teriyaki chicken sandwich disappears in Japan. And a Biscoff McFlurry blackout in Belgium. Oh, it's just in. We can now confirm the stolen favorites have resurfaced

at McDonald's Canada. The international menu heist. Try them all while you can. For a limited time in participating McDonald's in Canada. This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful is sponsored by BetterHelp. Workplace stress is the new pandemic, listeners. Sixty-one percent of the global workforce is hanging on by a thread, and that thread is made of dental floss.

But we can't all quit our jobs and start restoring vintage cars and beekeeping in the Mojave Desert. So, this summer, let's take tiny steps toward wellness. Me? I used to sit in the sun until I hallucinated. A very wise crow with a rainbow crown would eventually give me some sage advice, but fictitious crows are not a viable solution in 2025. That's where better help comes in.

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helping you fit therapy into your busy life, plus switch therapists at any time. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Unwind from work with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash bald. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash bald. What's the, what's the, what's the rose in the thorn of the P-Town experience for you? Cause you've done so many summers of this and you've become kind of a must see item in the town.

Well, I haven't gotten the cover of the little local magazine yet. Provistown magazine. Get on it. Get Tammy on the magazine, please. We want to have a nude centerfold. Oh, swell. Right?

With a polygon. Could you imagine? Yeah, in the, you pull it out. Can you imagine? Yes, I can. Are you looking right now? Very, yeah. Oh, you're so beautiful.

Well, you're in wonderful shape. I just gave Tammy, I mean, you always are in shape. Maybe you need to do, would you ever do the out of drag sexy spread? You know, I do that stuff sometimes. You do? I've already done that. Get outta here, play girl.

Yeah, little by little. Oh, play girl, remember that. I sure do. God, all I think of is Hugh Hefner making those girls suck the dogs off. Bestiality, in the documentary about how horrible it was up there in the mansion. And they have that little pool

and they're floating around in there. God, well it's true. in the mansion and they have that little pool and they're floating around in there. God damn it. Well, it's true. He was having the girls suck the dogs off. No, no, no, Tammy. Yeah, Tammy. And the big dog woof, woof, woof. Oh my God.

Got her a little chihuahua. Could you imagine what is that? You know what, some of those weird rich old men, some maybe I'd take the dog. Jesus Christ. You know some of these creepy old rich men, maybe I would just do the dog. Just do the dog.

But when I play girls with the guys. Yeah, I know. Okay. I'm just being silly. I guess what I like about the P-Tone experience is you get to do a show overnight without traveling. Oh, sure. And you get to leave your stuff at the theater,

so there's no suitcases. It's like a residency, essentially. How long do you take to get ready? Oh, it takes too long. I was supposed to be ready today, but I counseled one of my friends from Bulgaria on the phone. He was in his mood and I said,

well, let me help you out, sir. How did you help him out? Oh, maybe it takes three, I just talked to him. Three hours? No way. I take about that because I shave head to toe. What?

Are you kidding? I shave head to toe. So you really get, you put the whole body into it. Are you joking or are you serious right now? No, I mean, let's say two hours, but I would like a three hour. Well, can I be honest? When you have three hours,

you are in a totally different mindset. You can relax, take a break, have a snack. Cause sometimes I get sick of the makeup, I just want to walk around for a second. I just like circle the room and stretch. Cause you are doing this for hours. I don't know about you guys, I'm not sitting at makeup with perfect posture.

I'm like hunched and crunched. And then you stand up and you're like, ooh. Yes, I prefer to stand because it goes quicker and it's like, I don't know. I don't know when I started sitting down, I guess maybe when we started doing theaters, but I felt like standing is better. When I do all of my work too,

I stand anyways when I'm working on the dolls, the rag queens, or when I'm working on the embroidered pieces, I stand. It's work too, I stand anyways. When I'm working on the dolls, the rag queens, or when I'm working on the embroidered pieces, I stand. It's easier than the blood flows better. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Or like on a treadmill. Oh, on a treadmill. Backwards.

Walking desk. That explains a lot. Yeah, walking desk. You do that? No, but I'm a pacer. I love to pay. I love to walk. Mm-hmm. I get my steps in.

Pacing. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I do too. Upstairs, downstairs. I love stairs.. I get my steps in. Payson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I do too. Upstairs, downstairs. I love stairs. Sometimes I carry my suitcases like this. You love stairs? I love stairs. Why? Because it's like you're going up, you're going down.

Yeah, going up, going down. No, no, okay, okay. I swear. Right, love it. No, I pull stairs. No, because it's like exercise, but it's just integrated into your life. I swear.

You know, can I say, you know with the Sky Club, how they always have the elevator and the stairs and I always take the stairs. Well, yeah, elevators is, I don't. You're afraid to get locked in there? Yes. And also, like, I don't understand how some hotels or many buildings in fact don't offer a stairway option. Like if it's like four floors.

Hold it though, for our friends in England, it's a lift. It's a lift. A lift. A lift. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But like, why am I struggling to find the stairway? And why isn't that an option? Well, what about parking structures? It's impossible to find a stairway

and they want you to walk up the ramp. Thank you. Give me a break. What if a fire breaks out in the elevator? What are we supposed to do? Well, hang in there. Okay. Oh my God, did we ever tell you what happened to

your colleague, Kelly Mantle in Sydney, Australia? I believe it. She wanted to walk to the theater. She does half her makeup at home, so she does just her brows and foundation, and then she'll walk to the venue and do the rest. And she wanted to walk, but she put the directions and maps, but she put, as if she was a car and not on foot.

So she walks up the ramp of the freeway. Oh, she did? Like Eileen Warnows. Merge onto I-495. I would doubt it. With her pull-around suitcase and just half makeup, calling the tour director being like, can you guys come get me?

Was she laughing? I'm on the freeway. Was she laughing? I'm sure she was. She's always laughing. I guess, but like kind of a lot lizard like her, I think she was like, well, if I make a few extra bucks, it is what it is.

Oh, she's not that sensual Well, she's married now. Oh, that's been married been married. She has a beautiful relationship He is so sweet. He's a little shout out to Kelly Mantles poor man out for Kelly James poor man out for Kelly Yeah, she's fabulous. When did you figure out that you and Kelly had such a good like because you guys really are magical together Yeah, it's like you too. you know. When was the rapport established? Oh, we did that a long time ago. Probably, we officially met in 2008, and we did that show, Queens Collide.

And then we would do other little local shows around town, Jerbert Jones and these other things, at the Casita de Campo, and then in Silver Lake. And then we had each other's numbers, and we'd always hit it off. And then finally I just called her up and said, okay, because we're always playing around, and we're like, well, let's do a band.

We will always say this, so let's do something. So finally I said, all right, I called her up. That's, I'm like that persistent with people. We connected, and since then, it's always been a really nice connection. 2008, that's a long time. Yeah, 2008. Did you used to go to that place

that she told us about, the 2555 Peanuts or whatever it's called? Oh yeah, I used to work there for Mario Diaz though. But it was a different night. It's called 7969. 7969 Peanuts. What is the Peanuts? Remember that's the bar Kelly was telling us about?

Transsexuals. Oh! With like the girls to meet the gentleman call. Yeah, the tea girls. Damn, where are those? You worked there? Well, I used to work for Mario Diaz and actually Raja got me, Raja. She got me the job.

Oh, no tea, no shade. Local egg cook. Yeah, notable egg. Notable egg coiler. I have a highfalutin. That's sharp, isn't it. Notable egg. Egg poiler. I'm a highfalutin. That's sharp, isn't it? Notable egg poiler. I used to dance for him and there was a pole

and I would dance on the pole. Pussy pole. And then I would work Big Fat Dick, the other one at the foo bar. You know, I miss that party. It's so funny you say that. You say that again. Big Fat Dick.

Love it. Well, some parties it's like a suggestive name like, like swell, like pull, like, you know, turgid. I don't know what they call it. Turgid. I don't know. Swollen. Thrust.

This one was just called big fat dick. Toad's hop. Even hot dog is like suggested. This is just called, are you guys gonna come down to big wet pussies? Yeah, no more innuendos, just straight back. Straight forward. Did you ever do the dick picture?

No, please. But one of those dick big guys ripped my wig off once. What? Yes he did. What is the dick picture? So they go back in the back and they take the pictures of the dinglings and they put them all up there. They're tallywhackers and they hang them up.

I don't know about this. And they rate the number one biggest ding-a-ling out there. Well, wouldn't it be... So Mario's little... It used to be the DJ booth with like, you know a spotlight that they used to like find deer at night? Like a deer spotting light. And like, ladies and gentlemen,

could I have some number two? And they... Because they would take you in the back room, photograph your hard dick, put a picture, a glossy 8x12 of it. No. On the wall. No. No

No, no clothes clothespin Wow, and then you just what do you win a handle of booze something like that I'm isn't it like isn't it you did not I got so drunk and Left before it went up there. Oh my god. I was like Trixie. You cannot do that She's probably encouraging you that's no she was like Trixie you can't do that. And I'm like, you don't know me. Fuck. She's probably encouraging you. That's true. No, she was like, Trixie, you can't do that. I was like, should we go? Shit. Did she go with you or did she stay there? We left.

Also, I don't have tattoos or anything. So like, how would you know it was me? Yeah, I guess so. Cause my hands were like. Cause your face is in it too. Like this? Yeah. Well, some people take it hard.

I guess, I don't know I only went a few times but it was fun and they have the go-go's the gorgeous they always have Mario always has the best hottest go-go's. I like that Johnny No, just hang out with them sometimes draw their ding-a-lings Trace of you know at Club Cobra now they have some some hot dancers at Club Cobra. Where's Cobra? It's out there in the valley. Okay, that's where I'm doing a show this Friday, but this Cobra Cobra Club Cobra. It's a Latin bar. I'm looking for new gay bars. Honestly club Cobra It's it's out there in the valley North Hollywood North. I want to go to is it bolt

Huh, is that where Fina goes? I have no idea. Bolt? Bullet! Bullet, bullet. Bullet. Bolt is that movie, that Pixar movie. Okay. Bullet is that gay bar that Fina goes to. I'm looking for more like, eagle vibes.

Eagle vibes. Yeah, somewhat a drink. A little trashier, more like a neighborhood watering hole. Not like a sexy West Hollywood drink, more like dirty men with B.O. taking shots. Okay, well I don't know too many of those right now. Okay that's okay. If you were um would you ever go on All Stars again?

You know I would like to be you know I was rated. You were what? Entertainment Weekly rated me there's 25 of the best reality stars and I was number 20. You were! Get out of here. So maybe Celebrity Big Brother. Okay. Traders.

Trade, okay. Do it, do it. I don't know about that. I'm serious. Do it, do it. I would love you on a show like that. Well let's get me on there. Y'all got some mojo?

Give me something. Get her on Traders for Christ's sake, people. Big Brother looks hard. Really, I'll just sit in the house and say things. What do you do on Big Brother? Just, you do challenges and shit? Like what? It's a lot of doing nothing, which I think would be hard.

You can't watch TV. And then you're surveilled the whole time, assuming, right? But I can cook. Okay. And I'll meditate. Okay. And you win a million dollars at the end? I guess.

You win a million dollars? Minus taxes. I would love you on Big Brother. Well, let's get me on there. Tell your fans to write them letters. Get her on Big Brother, everybody. But you know, all stars, I don't think I'll ever be asked back to be on that show,

of course, and I find it vocal. Vocal and combative. I don't wanna say I'm combative, I just speak the truth, as one does. Yeah. I just don't, and I find it actually rather frustrating because I hear that they're bringing other people back and stuff, and I'm like, oh, okay, they're really a fan favorite,

aren't they? You know what I mean? I mean, Shit! And also, well, I mean, the truth is the truth. And then there's also like, who has all the catchphrases, it's me. Hello, that's true.

That's true. Wait a minute. Did you see, oh my God, I just saw this news anchor who said that he was gonna work in as many drag race catchphrases into like- He did. Into like a weather thing. Did you see this?

Yes. And he goes, and Teletubbies teleport us to Mars because it's gonna be sunny today. For real? Yes he did. On what? It was like a- Live from Kingston, Virginia.

Oh damn, that's fierce. I don't know, where was it at? I don't, I've never heard of it. You do have an endurance. The things you say and do on television endure. There's more to come. They live in my mind and many of the fans of yours' minds forever.

You like that, change that costume, change it around. Change it around, that's one of my favorite. And you're acting. Uh-huh, acting. Yeah, I love that. Ha! Ha! See, we got it together.

The dead body. Oh God, the dead body. The dead body. And God, the dead body. The dead body. And also my favorite. No, my other favorite is you on the way to DragCon. Do you remember this? Have you seen this?

I haven't seen this in a while. Oh, and at the pothole. What? Damn, I don't- We recorded that twice. It was first recorded the first way, and then I was like, okay, let's just do it again. And then, then it ended up,

kids meant that the pothole was there. Yeah. And I said- It's early. Drag con is early, if you want early. It's early, Tammy's not thrilled about being dragged early and she's in the car and she goes like, well, we're on the way to drag con, it's early as hell, whatever, and they hit a pothole and she goes, another pothole, wish I'd fucking fall in it.

Which that is what you feel in day drag on the way to something, you're like, I will just, I wanna kill, I wanna, it's hard. Drag con is, no, that's not it anymore something. You're like, I will just, I want to kill him. I want to kill him. That's hard. Drag hunt is, no, that's not it anymore. But it's not, it's dead, isn't it? I mean, that ship is sailed. I don't think they're doing it this year.

They are not doing it. Shout out to Marina though, I do like her. Why are they not doing it? Who knows financially what it is? How about you, would you do another All Stars? No, hell no. No, no, no, too much money, too much stress. Too much money.

It's too hard. Yeah. We don't have... I don't have good drag like that. No offense to all the politicians. It's true. Please. The girls today are doing Transformers,

sponsored by Universal Studios. Oh, really? Jurassic World by way of Narnia. So they get sponsored little dresses. They just start doing shit that I don't even aspire to do. I know. And spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on it. It's wild.

It's a wig reveal, once you take the wig off, another person comes out of the wig and then, yeah, and then they light the fireworks and you know, it's too much. Yeah, it's way too much. It's way too much. What's that got to do with it, right? Yeah. I too much. You can't do it. Yeah, it's way too much. It's way too much. What's that got to do with it, right?

Yeah. I think that's a big part of it. What I think the visual presentation has evolved into something that I don't think should include me. Right. Yeah, yes. Also, I don't wanna be like, oh, judge at that level, I could never.

I could never do, ugh, could never. I could never. But I would become like, now that I'm older, I think I would become mouthy. Oh, shit. When I was younger, I'd be like, I would become like, now that I'm older, I think I would become mouthy. When I was younger, I'd be like, oh, you don't like my outfit? I'm sorry, I'm gonna cry about it over two days. Now at this point, I think I would be like Kennedy Davenport

or like, would be like, shut your nose, drag knowledge mouth, bitch. You know what I mean? Totally. Because I think the confidence that I didn't understand when I was younger is like, a critique is like, yeah, you gave it to me, but I don't really have to listen to you. You know?

And when I was younger, I was like, okay, you don't like the shoes? I'm fucking sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. Internalizing. I would take it very personally. And I think now I would be like, I don't care, I liked it. And that's what makes you uniquely you.

Yeah, I don't know. I just have such, do you have positive, I have such like not negative, but arduous memories. Yeah. Long days. It's not fun. No, it's awful. It's not fun.

It's like, it's not fun. That's the thing about it. Like I can't ever remember it being fun. It's not fun. It's awful. It's hard. It's hard. It's those days.

It's awful. I've been there. And other drag queens' personalities, I think we all probably relate. I just, sometimes they're on my last nerve immediately. And I was also like, I don't wanna have to like, oh, sing and dance and all that shit.

It's too much. We're gonna sit down and talk out of drag era, out of our drag career. Absolutely. Okay. You know? Mm-hmm. talk out of drag era of our drag career. Okay. You know? Yeah. Mm-hmm.

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Okay. Oh goodness. They say cranberry juice, indigenous food. I thought there was a wives' tale, but I guess I'll try it. I've never had one. Yeah, it's like, you know when you're like on the airport, I mean in the airplane forever,

you're like, you had to pee so bad and you go to the urinal and it's like, even though you have to pee like really, really bad, it takes a while to come out. Yeah. That's what it's feel like for the last two days. Oh. Like I have, it feels like even now I just peed,

but it feels like I have a full bladder still. Yikesies. That sucks. It's kind of gross. I wonder if you have gonorrhea. Or if you've been masturbating with a soap bar. Or that. Well, I stick the soap bar up my ass.

Have you ever had gonorrhea? Oh, look at you, so clean. I have. No. You may have gonorrhea. I actually haven't. I hope I do. I feel like that would be more treatable than a UTI. My first symptom of gonorrhea when I had it

was like feeling of having to pee all the time. Okay. Really? Oh, no, no, no. I had a gonorrhea when I had it was like feeling of having to pee all the time. Okay. Really? Oh, no, no, no. I had a gonorrhea scare and they gave me like preemptive... Prenatal care? Yes. No, that's when I shit my pants. Well, it's better to retain your fluids. Yeah. It's better to be on a plane.

Have you ever shit your pants before? No, but I was recently with a friend of mine and they did right there in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico when I told the Uber driver in Spanish, Se cago este, and then the Uber driver stopped and kicked us out of the car. So, the next Uber driver we got into, I didn't tell him. Damn. And so you just rode with the shit in the pan? And it was his white pants. Oh, no!

Why is it always white pants? Don't ask me. When you shit yourself. Shout out to my friends Rob and Danny from P-Town. Yeah. Caby Brown and Robbie from P-Town. Pour it out for Rob. Cary Brown and Robbie Brown. Robbie, yeah. Robbie Brown.

I love Rob. Do you have a wonderful experience working in Mexico? I do, but I'm gonna take a little bit of a break because they keep playing these little games with me. What kind of games? And they're just- Or cheesy? Not paying in certain venues,

and the other venue has me booked. They didn't put out the proper promotion, the proper advertisement. And as an artist, you're like, okay, this is my labor of love as well. And then you have to go through all this crap. That's like, honestly, if we don't sell, cause we were fortunate enough to sell really well

because everywhere, if somewhere doesn't sell well, I never think it's our fault. Cause I'm like, if this is the first time in a year, we don't have great sales, you don't think it's us. You'll I'm like, if this is the first time in a year we don't have great sales, I don't think it's us. You'll need to get some more posters out there. Get the staples, get the Kinko shit. Yes.

Wheat paste. Get a town crier. Hey, excellent. Showgirls, showgirls, shale girls. But it's just the way the time, I mean you're gonna have that anyways with those kind of shows that sometimes that you're not gonna sell out.

But most people are struggling, period, to sell something. Connecticut never was Miami. Connecticut and Miami. Yeah? Connecticut. No, Miami. Hartford and Miami. Tough crowds, tough markets.

Okay, we were just playing in Connecticut. Actually, we were in Connecticut, yeah. And somebody on the tour told me, oh, this is where Katya had the worst show of her life. Yes, it was like... Really? Yes, it was, oh my God, it was, it was, but it was so bad that it was actually good.

Do you know what I mean? Yes. Was it the audience? Was it you? Was it the vibe? It was both of us. We were both, none of us brought anything to the table. But it was after like the Boston show, which was the best show of the tour.

And then like, so we were like schlepped to fucking Hartford or whatever. And it's like half sold or less, like maybe 40% of the tickets sold. And I'm like, okay, well, they're gonna get a 40% show. And we were all miserable and I think we all hated it. And then we all just like,

it just agreed that it was like, we'll never do this again. My issue that the Mexico though, is that we're performing for the Canadians. We're performing for the the, you know, gringos. And the whole show's in English or we're not doing anything for the people, which I do have discounted tickets for paisanos or countrymen or whoever's Latino American can come and get a half off ticket because their monetary value is different, right?

So we work on that. But I am working with, I wanna get into Mexico City. That's where I wanna perform in Mexico City. We've worked there. I know, I know. I follow y'all. I would move there tomorrow. That was one of the only cities

where they have bootleg merch. They were selling Trixie and Kata bootleg merch outside. Like Beyonce. Are you fucking kidding me? Yes. I don't remember that. That's how you know you've made it. Remember, instead of being mad about it,

we were kind of excited and somebody went and bought a bunch of it for us. Oh really? Was it any good? Did you keep it? Was it any good? It was just black, it was copies of our merch. They make copies of the real merch.

Love that. How wild. That's what it had at Beyoncé, remember? Mary, have you seen Beyoncé? Beyoncé, this ain't Texas? Yeah. We just saw Beyoncé last week and we both transformed. Yeah?

Tamatha, listen to me. Please listen to me. Listen to me with both your ears. I'm listening. I don't even listen to Beyoncé. I don't even like her that much. That was the best fucking concert I've ever seen in my life.

It was amazing. That was the best performer on planet earth. It was incredible. Was the best? Is, she is the most. I swear, I know it sounds crazy, but it's like she is. No, Katya texts me the next day, I know what you said about the show

making you proud to be American. I truly, truly though, like I've never felt patriotic. It made me believe in the human race. It made me believe in the possibility of America and women and the future and the promise of America. Especially like, I mean, especially since, not to be corny, but like all this stuff that's going on in this country, that's a little suspicious.

It was like, and there's a part in the concert where like she has clips of like, I guess Fox News anchors who are blurred out, kind of like poo-pooing her, like, foray into country music. Like Beyonce, allegedly doing country. That black bitch. I mean, that was essentially the attitude. Stay in your own lane.

Which is what exactly? Houston, Texas native. Yeah, country music comes from black people. Hello. So does rock and roll. The goddaddy of rock and roll is Ike Turner. Thank you. How much of country music is folk music? Who are you to define who those folks are?

Also, white people can do any kind of music they want. Nobody ever talks about it. I know. Eminem. Anyways. Thank you. Oh, goodness. She was, okay, so she's 44.

She's at 1981. The woman has no pores, no wrinkles. Oh, goodness. But like, it was, she was, okay, so she's 44. She's at 1981. The woman has no pores, no wrinkles. She looks 18. She looks, and she has a full expressive register. Her face. Well, black don't crack. Apparently. She was the most beautiful looking thing I've ever seen.

The hair, the body, the huge breasts, the tiny waist. The hips, the best singing I've ever heard in my entire life. This, the live singing, the conty dancing. Unreal. The interstitials between costume changes that were Oscar worthy. Tammy, she almost didn't speak at all. She barely spoke.

Yeah. She would say like, over here, y'all look good. And then she'd walk over here and say, over here, y'all look good. And then she would sing for 40 more minutes. Yeah, three hour show, three hours. Three hours. It was so fucking cunt. It was so cunt.

I've never done a cabaret style show in Puerto Vallarta. How does it feel different than Provincetown? Cause they're both kind of these vacation towns. And Vallarta is gentrifying so much, which is a major issue. Like, it's going to be like P-Town soon. It's very expensive. It's P-Town prices. I took my friends Rob and Danny to lunch and-

They'll just shit their pants? Yes, yes, yes. Pouring over Rob and Danny. Yeah, I'll laugh about that. What kind of lunch was it? Taco Bell. No, it was a dinner. Oh.

At one of those fancy restaurants. It was a dinner lunch. I took them out to lunch and it was a dinner. Oh, excuse me, those fancy restaurants. It was a dinner lunch. I took them out to lunch and it was a dinner. Oh, excuse me, excuse me. I thought you were asking about the pooh-pooh. For lunch we had dinner. No, I took them to lunch at one of those tourist trap places there.

And it was a hundred bucks. Damn. And in Mexico, lunch for four should barely be like 20 bucks in reality. That's true. When I was in Tijuana. Ah, Tijuana. Four of us ate a lovely dinner for $25 American cash.

Caesar salad came from Tijuana, Mexico. All right. Notable. I've never been to Tijuana. Ah, Tijuana. Four of us ate a lovely dinner for $25. I know where this Caesar salad came from. Tijuana, Mexico. All right. Notable. I've never been to Tijuana, but I know you can like, it's driving distance from LA, right? Yeah. Oh baby.

You drive, you cruise right over the border with like, just like free as a bird. When you're coming back, mama. Well, that's the way to fly. That's where the male comedians go to do drugs and get prostitutes, right? Well, they have the donkey show. Yeah.

Need I say more? What is it? It's where they get boinked by a donkey. A woman. You better believe it. They bring out dogs and do it all. I've never seen it, but I've only heard like in Matamoros, Mexico, where they found that white boy's head in the cauldron down there to Matamoros.

And Matamoros means more killer and they have a more killer statue in the Catholic church. So how about that? Follow the law of the land, it says in the Bible, but Catholics and most people don't do that. Now I'm getting a little political. We gotta be very careful. We gotta be careful. I'm happier here because I have a hard time balancing

not being angry about the world. And we have to be careful. I know we're supposed to be funny and light. Oh, right, yes, of course. Well, Tame and I were talking about, we're both very vocal and mad, but it's like, I also don't want my YouTube channel demonetized or my, you know.

This fear going on is really not cute. But also I don't wanna be one of these fucking no-spine fucking politicians just laying down and letting Daddy Trump just have whatever they want That's also not me bitch You just being you and us being ourselves encourages all those other people to get out there and pick it But it's how it's also like oh well this is if Kathy Griffin was on the no-fly list Six years ago what happens to us now?

Talking about come through security with my little makeup and stuff Have you ever gone through security cock caged? No. Y'all did, right? What's cock caged? Like with a cock on your dick? I mean a cage on your cock? A cage on your cock?

Uh-huh, oh, did you do that? A cock on your dick. Excuse me. Playing swords. She's the infamous immigration queen. Yeah, we know that. Oh, top, what is it? Top shelf transvestite.

It's top notch transvestite. Let's get it straight. Jesus Christ, sorry. But I used to be like, oh, I'm a comedian, I'm a whatever. Oh, I know. And now we just say, yeah, I dress up like a woman and I act a fool.

I'm gonna put on these panties and these breasts and let the men look at me. And they give you the stamp so fast. Yeah, they're like, just get out of here, you ugly bitch. Whereas I used to be like, I do Yeah, they're like, just get out of here, you ugly bitch. Whereas I used to be like, I do comedy, like what kind? Yeah, tell me a joke. It's like, okay.

Have you ever had that one? Tell me a joke. It's the most horrifying question you've ever been asked. I said, why don't you just turn around and I've gotta go. Yeah, yeah. Horrible. Make them turn around and you go. It's a joke, you see?

And also, but it's also, if it's like a straight guy I'm trying to gauge what they would think is funny, my pronouns are kiss my ass. They're like, ha ha ha. Love it. Why don't they wear mini skirts in San Francisco? Cause their balls will show. Oh, I love that.

That's the way to say it. Dingly dingly. I was told that by a family member. And when I was a kid, I was like in shock. And now I'm like, it's kind of country. Or like, what did they play in? Strike the oil or something? Mud daubers, they say. Are you a mud dauber mud dauber? Uh-huh

That is so gross never heard that Have you heard people said shitting on the dick is painting the dick. I'm gonna be my god. That's called pull the punch No more painting. We're not painting anymore painting. We're not painting. We're not painting anymore. We're not painting. We're not Thomas K.K. We're not painting anymore. We're not Thomas K.K. Painter of Brown. No, we're not doing that. Painter of Brown. I think that is so disgusting.

Painting the dick with your shit. Well, you know what's, y'all reminded me of, you remember my show with the guns. You loved that one. I do. Gun violence. She had a show where she had us all close our eyes and then she was like getting us to relax

and imagine something. And then played loud gunshots in the theater. But we're gonna do this year. I have another one of those. I'm pulling it back to this in the theory. We're gonna have another story, but it's a different story. You'll have to come to the show.

It's gonna be the sound of two lines. No, but I was thinking about Tijuana down there. And by the way, if you wanna go to Mexico, go across the border, the airport's right across, you just walk right into the airport, it's genius. But we were there and San Ysidro, California, is San Ysidro's right over there. And that's where all those kids went down

and they were getting their soft serve ice creams and all that stuff and the mass gun shooting in the 80s shot them all down. And I think about the kids there in the soft serve and they got shot in that soft serve. The ice cream's just coming out of the machine all over their body, chilling them. Oh my God.

Okay. So it's like all these drunk, gay, you know, white, rich men. P-Town has a very rich vacation. Yes it is. These white, older, rich men. They love Tammy and they all have their eyes closed and they're like waiting for the punch line.

Gunshots start and they open their eyes and Tammy's going like this. Tammy! Yeah, what a punchy. And it was like silent and shocking, which I'm sure is what you meant for it to be. Oh my God. Yeah, of course, it's a political statement.

Damn. On gun violence. And then she was like, and that's what it's like to be in America right now. Yeah. And then she was like, hit it. And then it was a song. Yeah.

And like. Duh duh duh duh duh duh. Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh. It was like, I think it was Geisha Geisha was next. Oh, Geisha Geisha. Across the sea in the land of a rising sun. Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms. What's your, can you, without, I guess,

spoiling the new show, what's the narrative experience? It's the, it's a feeling of love, ethereal, so to speak. And then there will be a fantasy. I'm going to put them in one of these trance again. Amazing. And then we'll do mini hits. We'll include, because I have so much material already, so many songs.

And then, but, and people want them. They do. Like their favorites is like, what is it? Porta Potti Prostitute. Love? Porta Potti Prostitute. Love. Porta Potti Prostitute. And then we have, and like Daddy's Makeover, we're putting that one in this year.

Daddy's Makeover, love that. Porta Potti Prostitute is horny. Good stuff, getting down like Koonan and on stairs. Bang, bang Versace. Gun violence. Gun for real, gun violence. I mean, it's, I think about guns every day. And I'm moving the shows more into visual. Visual with, you know, there's this visual, videos playing behind me because I don't have

a band or anything to back me up. So it's easier with the video and I just play the videos in the background and get down to the songs. And then of course we do some conversation in between each song. Yes. Can I tell you, that's one thing I miss about Provincetown is doing a show that really is just you and a light person.

Low tech, no tech. On one hand, it's more like, oh God, if this flops, it's on me. On the other hand, if you can count on yourself, it's kind of nice to be like, all right, it's a one person thing. And people want that in Provincetown, right? Yeah, I guess there's the Divas over there.

But the Divas is a show out there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Divas with Delta, Miles. Chris Kieffel. Billie Jean. Oh, there's that one too, the other girls, yeah. What was that? Illusions.

Illusions, yeah. Illusions, shout out to them. Fierce. Thirsty Burlington. Thirsty Burlington, that's right. One of my favorite names. And she was singing Share at Your House. Shout out to Thirsty. Oh, yeah, Thirsty Burlington. Thirsty Burlington. One of my favorite names. And she was singing share at your house.

Shout out to Thirsty. Oh yeah. Thirsty Burlington. Send her some love. Well, Diana would bring Thirsty home. When I was living with Diana one summer, she would bring Thirsty home after bar closed. Bars there close like one? It's too early.

It's too early. It's too ridiculous. Yeah. Two. Why are they doing this? I guess they're like put these fags to bed. Well, it's like, you know, in Australia they close so early too. Five o'clock. Bye. Good bed. Well, it's like, you know, in Australia, they close so early too, five o'clock, bye, good bed.

Yeah. Five o'clock. Yeah, in Australia, if you're out in certain parts, you're out in the boonies or whatever, you can't find anywhere to eat. Five p.m.? Yeah, around five in the afternoon, it seems like they shut things down in Australia a lot.

I guess I'm also a goody proctor though, because when I'm in New York and I'm like, did you just say four a.m.? Yeah, mama. You got it in your mind? And then you go to the after party till six. Oh, look at that. And who is it the bar at four? tweakers all yeah, really? Absolutely. I'm used to New York style like that Like Berlin when he's no no no Sunday you're on at 2 30 a.m.

No, that's when they go in the shit room in the pee room and all that stuff No, ma'am, and then y'all come out and dance in it. Okay, the cock room cock to the cock room. Is that how they say it? Use the gals bathroom in drag. Oh, I always do. I like it. You know, I do like that. And transsexuals in sports, how do I think of that? I think of it as maybe like indigenous people would have this kind of a mixed thing

and you would use them as higher level, a higher competitor. Okay. Something special to add to your team. Yeah. Unfortunately, she and I don't represent a high level of athleticism. So how dare you? You know, that's okay. You notice we never get booked on ESPN. Yeah, which is so strange. It's very confusing. ESPN. Can I? What? We have to start campaigning now to do something for the Olympics. I know, I know, I know.

Because we're going to be in LA. We're going to be in LA. We have to do something. You have to do something for the gymnastics. I know. I want to, but they won't let me. You'll get it. They won't let me. Those whores.

You can get it. Those whores. There's got to be some kind of woke, some kind of woke Olympics experience that you and I can talk about. They'll get you in there. I don't see why not. Yeah, we can work it out. What is it a Kennedy Award anymore? Poor Mama Ru won't be able to get one of those. Well, not that she'd be in drag anyways, but Kennedy Center. Yeah. Yeah. Cause they pulled their

drag show, right? They're, they're pulling that and the people are afraid to go do the world pride there too. I'm going, I don't give a fuck. Did you already get booked for that? Yeah, I have solid discos. Yeah, I'm going. Okay. RuPaul's DJing. Oh, she is? Yeah. Conti.

I'm doing it, but I'm doing Tuesday, like, of World Pride, so I think World Pride's more the weekend. I'm like one of the opening things. Okay. Fierce. But I don't know, if we're too scared to go do Pride, it sounds corny, but like they win. Yeah. I'm not scared. Well, I know that they were supposedly pulling back, it sounds corny, but like they win. Yeah.

I'm not scared. Well, I know that they were supposedly pulling back, backers pulling out and stuff like that. Well, that doesn't surprise me. Corporations, of course. Yeah, they're spineless. Now that it's not trendy, they're all pulling their, of course.

I don't know what happened. They don't want our disposable incomes anymore? No, when AOC or someone gets elected, they'll roll out the, you know, rainbow Pride suits. They'll roll out the like- Everything's gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay,

gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, , gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, , gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay,

, gay, gay, gay, gay, condoms anymore. No, because it's all loads. Everybody wants a load. Oh my God. When you hook up, do you need the com? Well, I don't hook up first of all. Oh. Okay. I just don't need all that business. Right.

It's just not my style. You know, I was on, what was that dating site? The one that the straight people used to hook up on? Tinder. Tinder. Swipe, swipe. Oh my god. That's okay. I think Tinder used to be more wholesome and now it's now it's just hook up.

Yeah. I just can't do that. I don't know. I want to I want to finesse. I want to talk to her. I want I really romantic. I'm a romanticizer. Good for you.

Big time. Okay. Renaissance. Renaissance. I like that. Fierce. I'd rather I like the connection. That's most important to me is the connection. I have people, right? The most that's what turns me on the most.

Like I have some friends that I see and I talk to and it's all about this connection I have with them. Well, that's why sometimes the hookups aren't giving cause they might be hot, but there's really no connection. Yeah. You might as well just like jerk off with a dummy. What am I? Oh, let me stand here. Yeah. Fuck a squash. Fuck a squash.

People on the internet, fucking noodles and stuff. Absolutely. Heat up some cup of ramen and stick your, stick your dingling in there. Yes, fuck the cup of ramen. Yeah. Actually, I think it's called cup ramen. Do you know this?

Cup ramen? Oh, I didn't know that. We all say cup of ramen, but I, oh wait, it's cup noodles. Cup noodles. It's cup noodles. Really? It's not cup-o? Look it up, Tracy. I think it's cup-o. I think it's cup noodles. Oh wait, it's cup noodles. Cup of noodles, cup of noodles. It's cup noodles. Really? It's not cup-o?

Look it up Tracy. I think it's cup-o. I think it's cup noodles. Prick the dick or something, or prick the noodle or what do they say? Huh? Prick the lasagna. Cup noodles.

It's cup noodles. Isn't that crazy? Cup noodles. What is that phenomenon where you think it's one thing, but it's not written that way, your brain just fills it in. You know what I'm talking about. And what do they do?

Stick their noodles in, stick their dingling in. I saw, remember last year, this guy was like, I'm gonna fuck all these different pastas. Unless you know which one's the tight pussy. Nick, do you know what I'm talking about? Damn. You know, the Mandela Effect. Damn.

The Mandela Effect. The Mandela Effect. Thank you. Like Nelson Mandela. Mm-hmm. Oh. Fierce. TAMI fans of yours obviously are so passionate.

They don't need to be told where to find you. But if they want to find you. But if they want to see you this summer, how can they get tickets? Well, oh, how they can get tickets at the Red Room there in Provincetown Red Room. And please let's push a theory. Oh, I'm ready for Kelly Clarkson show. Hell yeah. How can they find you on socials?

I want to go on Kelly Clarkson. Can you help me with that? Yeah, I've only been on it one time. Huh? Well, you were on there recently on the sofa. I could barely get on it. Well, I see Raja on there. I want to get on there. Yeah Raj and a bunch of the other transvestites were on there Okay, there's this picture of me on there where I'm on the couch

But I guess my legs are open and my legs are completely spread out I didn't see that porn and I'm talking to her about like I don't know. Yeah that you were laying like this is what I saw It was like that with the leg out. Can I be honest? It was a weird day anyway, because I was promoting Trixie Motel and we'd already separated. Oh, right.

And so I was like, do you believe in the magic of love, Kelly? And I didn't know she had gotten a divorce either. So we were all just like, I said something like, I said, Kelly, you know, people get divorces over changing the wallpaper in the powder room.

You know what I mean? I didn't know she just got a divorce. Fuck. Leave it to me. Well, would you... Leave it to me. So... Oh, well.

Can... is that fair to talk about divorces? Well, had I known she had recently had one, I wouldn't have made a joke at all about getting a divorce. Yeah. But I do know that renovations stress people out. Yeah. Yes. So, as you know...

Yes. Well, people like my Tammy Brown facial impressions. They wrote about those in the LA Times I have yes you do in the bathroom. Can people still buy those? Yes, of course. I'm selling them right now Why don't they buy them best pieces of work? No, I just did you go to Instagram Okay, and then DM me their direct message if they don't know what that is and I'm doing the embroidered ones here On those and I just had the gallery show in Galveston, Texas. Amazing.

And I sold all the rag queens and I sold all the facial impressions. Cunty. They're one of a kind. And they're a good gift because, like if you don't know someone's size, you don't know their t-shirt or whatever, it's one of a kind.

It's beautiful. There you go. You're one of a kind. I know. You're so special. I love them all out. Yeah. Thank you, Kelly.

That's what I wanted. Oh, thank you. Kelly and I want to do this, what you two are doing. That's what she's building the show up to do. Get me on the road with her. Oh, like the little duo act? That's what we want to do, because we have so much fun doing it as well.

Yeah, you guys are great together. You guys are great together. Fierce. Here we were. Did you watch the Siren Head Live, what is Siren Head Live? 50 year reunion special? I did. Good for you. I like to see Paul Simon, Paul Simon, Paul Simon and Jack Nicholson was sitting there. Oh, really? I love Jack Nicholson. Bye, Tammy. Thanks for watching!