The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - The Bald and the Breakfast with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: February 10, 2026

Wake up and put on your nicest wiglet, Deborah! The sun is shining and it's time to head on down to The Bald & The Breakfast, Weho's newest morning hotspot where Trixie and Katya are slinging eggs, flipping griddles, and brioch-ing the eff out of French Toast! Sink your teeth into our signature dishes: cinnamon-glazed Benedict CumberBuns, Morning Wood-Smoked Turkey Sausage, and Katya's famous Maple Butter-covered Call Me By Your Toast! Need a jolt of caffeine? Our coffee is hot, strong, and brewed exclusively with beans passed through the digestive tract of Africa's most famous nocturnal mammal, the civet! The Bald & The Breakfast: we serve eggs so gay, they just came out this morning! * *of the chicken To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BALD Ready to make some healthy swaps and become a member? Join Thrive Market for 30% off your first order plus a FREE $60 gift with our link: https://ThriveMarket.com/BALD Need a website or domain? Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain at: https://www.Squarespace.com/BALD Get a free can of OLIPOP! Buy any 2 cans of Olipop in store, and they'll pay you back for one! Works on any flavor, any retailer. Head to: https://DrinkOlipop.com/BALD Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipYT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://trixieandkatya.com/#tour⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemotel.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Listen and Watch Anywhere! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Trixie: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemattel.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@trixie⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   Follow Katya: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.welovekatya.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/welovekatya⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   #TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. We are very excited to announce that our very bald and very beautiful. Podcast tour is almost sold out for spring. I'm excited. We're not doing that many dates. And my New Year's resolution is quality over quantity. And we're doing it. We're doing it.

Can you believe we had to add a second show to Boston and Toronto? Queen. We sure did. So you fucking Bostonians in Toronto, when Toronto tautites or whatever the fuck you call yourselves, you better get some tickets. Yeah. Snatch him up. We do have a few seats left for some of these cities.

And we are not doing that many of these this year. It's going to be hot. It's going to be exclusive. It's going to be fabulous. Tickets available now at tricksey and catee.com. Quing. A to an cigarette. This is what kind of horrible person I am?

My poor boyfriend has been sick the last few days. I was sick last week. And when I'm sick, I'm like, I think God, everybody should call into work and take care of me. Right. Last night, him at 4 a.m. Up sick in the bathroom. You're like, shut up.

I almost sat up and said, I think it's a little much. You keep it down. or at least barricade the door. Go to the forest. Like, go down, just get a hotel. What are you doing? This is crazy. My God.

Sick, being sick, sucks. I mean, I know that goes without saying. Yeah. Hi, listeners. Hi. Welcome back. Welcome back. Hi.

This is 254 maybe. Yeah. 53. I have to have a surgery tomorrow. And they called me today. And if you ever had a surgery the day before, they'd be calling you, telling you all this extra information. Don't drink this.

Don't drink this. Don't eat this. You know, now I'm like, a magway like don't feed me after midnight and nothing and then tomorrow eight in the morning surgery but a butthole cut open it's always early like that why do they surgeons I'm telling you I think these surgeons are up at 3 a.m.

No no they they roll out of bed they just get in their beamer and they speed to the hospital don't brush their teeth or anything you just scrub up and let her rip have you ever been put under oh yeah this I have extreme anxiety about being put under.

Really? But then when you are put under, it's nothing. It's a non-event. You remember none of it. But everything leading up to it, I'm like, super anxious.

What are you interested about? Like that's lack of control. I don't know. Okay. That's interesting because I'm the opposite. The lack of control makes me nervous. Like a lack of control is like, well,

I can't do anything. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're right. Like, you know, like, if I died, I wouldn't even know. No. And there's no pain.

There's no, you don't even remember when you like, you know, it's, I love that. Well, you know what's awful. What? I was on the phone talking to somebody about it.

And they said, well, I think they just Michael Jackson you. And I don't think we should call putting someone under to Michael Jack. But I know what she means, propothal or whatever. I was like, we can't be, that's not going to be a medical textbooks. No, because also it's a little ambiguous about what exactly. I didn't think about that. Yeah. Oh, they make old Jackson.

They put one glove on you and they make you sing. Or they like, they bring out a monkey. You know, they're burles and Presley. That's what you do. You dangle a baby. You ride a carousel in your backyard. Yes. You're literally unconscious on a ferris wheel dangling a baby.

Yeah. Yeah. Gosh. Yeah, no, no. Gosh. We're not doing that. But I general anesthesia is, uh, is conti. Yeah.

Because it's, you know. Can I call you tomorrow if I survive? No. Okay. I don't quit. Yeah. I would like to call you because you might not remember. I don't have my affairs in order.

How many affairs are you having? Many. Many affairs. and I have to get them all in order, okay? That was funny. Very funny. That was like an affair having an affair. Oh, speaking of, did you keep watching All's Fair?

You know? All's affair? All's fair. You were so gung-ho on that pussy monologue, and then what? No, no, no, I wasn't, let me clarify. I wasn't gung-ho. I was flabbergasted. I was gooped.

I was shocked, betrayed. I was surprised and I was titillated. Well, titillated is a stretch. I, but the show, yeah, I know. But I know you're going to swing in on that new beauty show, the beauty. It seems like it's, it's a substance vibe. I hate to be reductive. No, no, no.

It's, yeah, it's actually, I think it's based on a, it's based on a text of some sort. Okay, like a comic or something? Yeah, exactly. And it's, if we know, if we know one thing about Ryan Murphy, it's about beauty. And then it's going to be about, you know, Nazis, aliens, Frankensteins, Right. Atlantis. Right.

You know, little people from, you know, hedgehogs, fruit barns, rabies, wagon wheels, all this stuff is going to come out. Right. But I want to talk to you about the French language. And one of my favorite actresses in the whole world, Jody Foster, who is starring in a new movie. And she's, it's all in French. It's a French movie.

And she speaks French in it. So she went to a French school here in L.A. She was like five or something. So she speaks perfect. Like not good, not great. She speaks perfect. So is it perfect or not great? No, no.

So it's not great French. It's not good French. It's perfect French. Oh, okay. Sorry. I thought you were saying, like, it's not good, but it's perfect. I'm like. No, no, no.

It's like, oh my God, she speaks great for an American. No, she speaks perfect French. Right. And it's just so cunty. I just fucking love that bitch. Right. I just love her. And I was just listening to her.

What do you love about her? I just love everything. She's so smart. She's so capable. And then she has been in the, she. What about when she was like zooming into the Oscars from bed? That was different. That was COVID.

That was everybody was turned around, you know? Everybody was turned around upside down. I didn't love that. I didn't love that. She was in like a Bucky's t-shirt with like a Miller light. Yeah. With her, with her, with her lesbian, the white. Yeah.

Very cash. Yeah. She was like, wow. I don't know. Yeah. But she was, she's been a legend forever. Born in the game. Literally.

She was performing at the Oscars in green shoes at five years old. Yeah. Singing. Quite beautiful as well. Yeah. And just so great. On the corner three,

I think we should say our favorite Jardy Foster movie. Okay, but hold on. Well, okay. One, two, three. Now. I don't love Nell. You don't love Nell. It's either that or Panic Room.

Oh, so, you know, I didn't love Miss Panic Room. It made me think everyone should have one. Like I bet that was, that movie was instituted by Big Panic. Do you know what I mean? Big Panic room. Big Burgle. Big Burgle was like,

what about a movie that seems fun that is going to make our switchboard light up with, you know what I mean? That's like Fallout is being built. It's being pushed by. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But I think panic room, because you know I have that room in my house that I never showed on TV that's kind of hidden. Do you know what true what I'm talking about? With all the rats. No. But I always am like, Not only is it hidden, I'm always like, I wonder if I should barricade it for the end of the world with the bottle of water?

I mean, hey, earthquake preparedness, maybe not the end of the world, but living in L.A. Or an earth, if you got the space, which you do, I would highly suggest stocking any extra, like, panic room situation with some earthquake preparedness preparedness supplies. But I shouldn't be in the basement for an earthquake. That's not good, Mary. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, I'm saying just in your house in general. Oh, right, right, right. You know, like if you, say you get, your house gets, falls apart around you and you get stuck there, whatever.

Water. Fresh potable water. I drink the pool. Tea. Or tea. Wait, is it, is it chlorinated or salinated? I don't know, actually. Really?

The pool gentleman who comes weekly. Is it clear? His name's Edmund and he, he does, I don't know what he does. I can just part that in my balls. the pool water. What do you mean? Squirt that in my ball. Oh, yes.

Of course. You just actually, you take a little, like a diabetic needle. You stick it in your balls and under the water. And then the physics of it just goes right up there. The FHs are hurting. The Fagys are hurting. The Fagys are hurting. Wait, the, what?

Remember when Luscious was here? Honey, the FHs are hurting. The trauma. The FHs are hurting. That whole episode. the little faces she was making. Mama, I was,

Mallory, my friend was watching it. She was obsessed with Luscious, of course. And I was, I was telling her that there was a moment where you can't see it,

but she winks at me and I lose it. And you didn't catch it because it was like, it was so, you know, like a, and I, and I was annoyingly laughing

at something you didn't even know I was laughing at. And I was like so bummed because it was so fun. Well, she would say something, something and then she'd react to her what she said. She would like say something and then go like.

Yeah. And then she was like at the tail end of something. She was like, she was like, she and I just love. I got it. I love, I got a passion for winking. I love it.

I'd be saying the F. F.A. s are hurting. I'd be driving around the L.A. saying the F. Preachers. I'm in the car. Terror.

Terror. Perik. My boyfriend's sick. I'm like the F.A.Gs are hurting. Like, the FGs are hurting. Yeah, they cannot handle this womanhood.

They can't take it. Girl. She is just, it just doesn't get, I mean, I'm so, she's really, really, really become my favorite drag queen. Oh my God, same. Honestly, she's blown all the other bitches out of the water. She's taking all these hoes. She's wrapping them up and she's throwing them in the garbage. Brick.

Yeah. Cross-dress. I mean, the fact that she edits our clips and with her own audio. She's a freak from hell. I mean that lovingly, she's a freak from hell. It's great. She's inspiring. She's audacious.

She's inspiring. No, I know. inspires me. Her creativity inspires me. Also, her, her, I mean, I'm not trying to be corny, but her courage is, she's courageous. Going into Macy's, do you think I'm going to go into Macy's with Bus River on? I'm not going to, I don't think you should. I think she can.

No, I think she can and she doesn't. I do want one of those weeks, though. You do? I see with a, you know, can you tell me whether or not I can do this? I used to have this Bob, the 613 Bob. when I was like, this is like pre-drag race. It was short in the back and was super graduated long in the front. I was like this long.

I kind of loved it. Okay. It was like this long in the front. How much volume we're talking about bangs? Not enough. But I could maybe like sew some tracks suit or something. I kind of want to go through a straight Bob era. I'm where I just want to know about the volume.

I never wear straight wigs. And I recently, I've been like, how about some straight wigs? Maybe with some hats, fascinators, headbands. That veggies are hurting. The veggies are struggling. Struggling. Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Hymns. He done already had Hymns is.

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See website for details, restrictions. and important safety information. Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. I'm heading to Phoenix for a gig, and while half the country is slipping on ice and shoveling driveways, I'm packing sunglasses and a bikini. That Phoenix sunshine just hits different, especially when you booked an amazing house on Airbnb.

I'm talking morning walks and short sleeves, coffee outside on a patio, squeezing in hikes through soirot cacti, and alfresco dinners because the weather in Arizona wants you to live your life outside, rather than huddling next to the radiator as the sky outside is gray and lifeless. I book to stay through Airbnb and honestly, it's going to make the whole trip so much better. I'm going to have room to spread out, a real living room to hang in, and a table where I can actually sit down and eat,

instead of juggling a to go container on a lumpy bed. I can shut the door when I need to quiet, open things up when I want light, and enjoy actual privacy that feels like my own place. And if I'm traveling with my crew, we can actually all stay together to make the entire event smooth. And while I'm soaking up the sun in Phoenix, I'm already planning the next trip this summer to the Amalfi Coast. We're talking fresh seafood caught that morning, long days on the beach that melt into even longer nights, and hopefully a fling with a dark-haired Adonis named Antonio. Trips just hit different when you book a home on Airbnb.

And I already know I'll be booking my next day through Airbnb again and again and again. With Airbnb, every journey feels like it's being written just for you. Girl, speaking of struggling. The bricks are struggling. They're crumbling. I went to Jackson Hole, Wyoming, last weekend, with heterosexuals. Why? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What is this? Jackson Hole, Wyoming. It is a beautiful vacation town for winter activities. Oh, the skiing. Snowmobiling, skiing. Sunny Bona. Motherfucker. Right.

Yes. So we get there. Love it, love it, love it, hanging out, partying, love it. You love skiing. I haven't skied in so long. My boyfriend in college, Matt, who died, his family would take me skiing. So I got to learn to ski when I was younger. But I was with a group whom a lot of them hadn't skied.

And I thought, it's been so long, I'm going to take the class with everybody, the group class. I probably halfway through the class could have left and gone to do other things. But I thought, don't be a con. Solidarity. Be with the group. Also, how often do you have an instructor watching you ski? You can still learn a lot. Just because you can make it down the hill without dying.

Doesn't mean you know something to learn. Thank you. So it was really educational. I was working on my parallel skiing. and bright sunny day the type of ski experience where it's cold but not too cold

like not sweating but it feels like I'd be active without being sweaty and then the snow is powdery or whatever powdery and gorgeous and then lovely a middle apra ski

go have some lovely French onion soup with a margarita maybe hot toddy of course have two or three martinis go back down the hill you know in the dark

of course it was really really, really fun. I just, it reawakened the magic of skiing now. I never skied when I was younger because where I'm from, it's definitely a rich people sport. And as I can gather, it still is. Baby, it is that, more so than golf.

I mean, it is very much a rich person's sport. Yeah. And so those type of activities, because I'm not generationally wealthy, I always feel uncomfortable because it always feels like this is the rich people function. Yes, this is the rich people function. But I have so much fun skiing. I love to ski. I love to move that fast.

Love the sticks. Love the outfits. Yeah. It's a lot of gear. A lot of gear. Love the lifts. Oh yeah. That is really, I would just do the gondola all day.

Yeah. Love the gondola. Loved it. Loved it. Any anybody of Gwyneth Paltrow into a tree or whatever? No, but I kept saying I lost a half day of skiing. Like I kept saying. I lost a whole half day of skiing.

Kept saying it. Well, I lost a whole half day. What is a whole half day? It's like the entire half day. day. But not a whole day. No, no, no. But I mean, if we're talking half, it's a full half. Couldn't she say, I lost half a whole day of skiing? It's about

the cup half empty or half full. She wants to really, really drive home that it was 50% of the day. And what did she say at the end when she left court? She said something like, I wish you well. I wish you well. I think that's healthy. Yeah, because she's evolved because that guy was a fucking just trying to take her to the cleaners and he was a boo-boo and wasted her her time. and where she could have been doing entrepreneurship for her company,

cooking delicious meals for her children and her husband. Yeah. Playing mahjong with her girlfriends, perhaps. Anything. The skiing was really fun. Early, very early. In the car by seven. It's a little extreme.

So then the next day, the next day was a different winter activity. Did you stay at the chalet overnight? My friend rented the most beautiful rental home I've ever stayed in. Oh, my God. So extra bedrooms. We had like too many bedrooms. Like for like 12 people. It was crazy.

Hot tub. Giant kitchen. And guess somebody who was staying there was a professional cookie chef. So I walked in and special cookies were being made. I said, yes, yes, yes. What's a special cookie? Like making the toffee from scratch that we pour on the chocolate chip cookies, I said, he like, you know what I was like red?

He was like jerkin the, not jerkin. He was milking the cow. Yeah. I mean, I guess I could say his name is Von Reland. He makes delicious cookies. Oh, I don't know. But anyway, he does like baking and cookbooks and stuff. And so I was, it's fun to watch people who are really good in the kitchen do something. And it's also even funner to eat what they do in the kitchen. Yeah, they were making tacos and I said, I think I should help. And I saw the knife skills and I just walked away. I said, like, they don't want your fucking help, bitch. Go sit and wait to eat like a dog.

I sit on the floor and the, they open the trash that there doesn't make way. And they're going, well, I was in the trash. So then the next day, I go, gosh, skiing was a little early. And they go, well, you're going to love this. We had to get the next day up in the car by like 6.45 or something. That's okay. To go. And this is a thing.

Rollerblading. This is just going to take me one second to talk about because this is like trauma. Right. So where I'm from, snowmobiling is huge, right? People rode snowmobiles to school. Snowmobiling was huge. There's every. highway, every road has a small snowmobile route.

Snowmobiling is huge. And rich people love to come to the country to snowmobile. And country people use snowmobiles as transportation. But I don't like, but I don't like snowmobiling. It's straight men. I know. Straight men with ATVs. They love it.

I know. I know. Freak out. My childhood best friend's dad, they were big into snowmobiles. They freak out. And I just don't freak out for ATVs, but of course, I'm happy to be included. What is ATV? All-terrain vehicle.

It's not a television. That's what I keep thinking. thinking. It's, that's what I, that's what I, go on, sorry, go on, a TV. A TV. A TV. Um, so I get up, it's early and they give you a bunch of warm clothes. And they, the, the snowmobiling place is like, oh, you guys all have warm clothes, but if you want, here's bigger boots, here's whatever. So like, we're suited out. Do they give you a marathon, um, crinkle blanket? No. So the night before, everybody's doing drinking alcohol and I haven't really been drinking. So I was like, I'll do a little drinking alcohol.

Um, had some alcohol. The next day we're up, it was like seven o'clock in the morning. We're getting ready to snowmobile. I'm just like, oh my God. Everybody's in a room this big trying on winter clothes. And I go, hold on a second. Go in the bathroom. Immediate diarrhea.

12 people, 11 people there outside the door. And I'm just in there like, blowing. But I thought better now than what? Halfway up a mountain on a, like, right? And then I give them back their snow pants and say, hi, there's shit all in it. Well, I would give them back.

Right. I would take them home. Right. And where I would continue to. wear them. You don't like I just don't like snowmobiling and I'm so grateful to be included but it was

it's just cold and loud and you're driving to nowhere. I just was like we're just driving. Oh, you're not going down a hill. No. No. But I did get to witness, I did get to witness an engagement which was exciting. On the snowmobile? Yeah.

Did they stop? I've never seen it in the moment like real ring comes out. The person's surprised. It was thrilling. I haven't either. I've never. I felt like I was watching a viral video. I was like, oh. Did you start screaming and crying?

Well, no. But I kept shit. What did they look like? What did they look like? But I just, Jackson Hole is very cool. I mean,

Wyoming is cool. It's very country. It's very mountains. It's very broke back. I wish it could quit you. It's very, we don't need no lube. We're in this tent.

Well, it's also very Matthew Shepard. Like that happened in Wyoming. So it's not. Well, that's nice. Yeah, but it is so beautiful. I mean,

maybe it's because I'm from the flatlands. Mountains, beautiful, snowy mountains. Oh my God, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Beautiful, dangerous. And dangerous. And this is my issue is I need, I didn't get enough sleep the night before, right? Five hours is enough for me on a group trip, right? And to be, you know.

Five hours. Yeah, because everyone's up being partying in wild. And then it's up so early, but I, my arthritic self, I need the full eight hours, right? So that's tough. Five hours, especially for skiing. And it was so early. and I hadn't been heading any water because of the alcohol. And it was so early that no one had made breakfast.

So I get in the car, you guys, at like 6 a.m. Hung over. I barely know most people in this group. So I'm trying to be my best self. But my best self. Yeah. So I get in the car and I sit there. And somebody was like, Brian, are you all right?

And I go, sorry, I'm not my normal self without food water or sleep. Which I like totally meant like nice. But it came out. I sound like I hate the trip. Yeah. I don't hate the trip. I usually have fun, but when I'm being tortured, I'm not so pleasant. I know.

As somebody's pain for me to have a wonderful winter experience. And so then when I got a moment alone after the diarrhea, I went to the host and said, I hope you know earlier when I made that comment. I was just kind of, it's a way I kind of deal with discomfort. And then you shove that dirty diaper in his face. I said, but I'm having a great time. And they were like, that's okay. That's very funny.

Also very you. So then somebody was like, should we stop? There's no food where we're going. Should we stop at this gas station? I go, yes. Yes. There's no food where we're going. Because I think everybody else is like, we're just here for the vibes.

And I was like, love you all. Vibes do not have calories. If I don't get in here, get in here in this 7-Eleven. If I don't get a drinkable yogurt and a donut, I'm going to freak out. In order for my eyes to go past a flutter in the morning, I need at least 12 pounds of sugar. Right. 12 pounds. And then like 13 pounds of heavy cream.

And so then I get back on the carrier, the people carry your van like a giant what do you call it? Sprinter. Sprinter. I get in the van and I've got, I'm the only person who's bought food really and I have tons of snacks.

And I'm ripping through them. I'm eating little Doritos. I'm fucking it up. I'm eating my breakfast foods. One of my foods is a Bartlett pear. I'm eating the pear and I'm just looking at everyone like, aren't we, don't we all feel better that we got food?

Even though I'm the only one eating. I'm like, I think we're all better now. Yeah, everybody's feeling good, right? Yeah. Wait, so they just didn't eat. I think everybody maybe had a snack before I got up and I didn't get up early enough to eat. So maybe it's on me.

Or maybe they had the most incredible, unforgettable, huge breakfast you just brought up late. I think that is it. I waited until the last second. Okay, okay, okay. And as much as I don't want to be the squeaky wheel, if somebody's saying, should we stop for a snack? Yes!

I mean, it's like, that would be like... Am I not a Nicki fan? Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by our friends at Square Space, or as it was originally pronounced among, you know, over in Italy. Squatters Batchie. The Italians were actually the first people,

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My winter retreat to a secluded chalet in Quebec's Chalvoix-Ré region was the perfect way to ring in the new year. The chalet had a beautiful deck opening to a view of the frosted ever-gris. as we grilled in the wintry air and toasted the arrival of 2026. There was even a hot tub outside underneath a canopy of trees where we'd relax for hours and talk about our goals and expectations for what lies ahead. The entire trip felt like wandering inside a snow globe and staying in this gorgeous home I booked on Airbnb was the pause that I didn't know I needed. We spent our days snowshoeing through birch forests and taking in the sights along the St. Lawrence River

as the snow glowed beneath the afternoon sunshine. Somewhere in that, hush, it struck me. My home is sitting empty. Why not hosted on Airbnb while I'm away? Especially since my next spring adventure is a trip to Spain for two weeks, where I plan to buzz along volcanic cliffs in a tiny Renault, stopping for Papasaragudas, and fresh island seafood. Hosting is really about making small dreams at home possible, like finally updating my hardwood floors. A little extra income from hosting could help me get there. Your home might be worth more than you think. find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. My winter retreat to a secluded chalet in Quebec's Charlevoix region

was the perfect way to ring in the new year. The chalet had a beautiful deck opening to a view of the frosted evergreens as we grilled in the wintry air and toasted the arrival of 2006. There was even a hot tub outside underneath a canopy of trees where we'd relax for hours and talk about our goals and expectations for what lies ahead. The entire trip felt like wandering inside a snow. globe and staying in this gorgeous home I booked on Airbnb was the pause that I didn't know I needed. We spent our days snowshoeing through birch forests and taking in the sights along the St. Lawrence River

as the snow glowed beneath the afternoon sunshine. Somewhere in that hush, it struck me. My home is sitting empty. Why not hosted on Airbnb while I'm away? Especially since my next spring adventure is a trip to Spain for two weeks, where I plan to buzz along volcanic cliffs in a tiny Renault, stopping for Papasaragudas, and fresh island seafood. Hosting is really about making small dreams at home possible, like finally updating my hardwood floors. A little extra income from hosting could help me get there. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca.ca. slash host. Why won't you go to the movies? I know you don't like it. What do you want me to experience? because when I go to the movies, it's overpriced.

I sit in a room full of strangers. That's what I'm paying for. The movies aren't back. That's being perpetrated by AMC. The movies aren't back. But the movies are dying. Baby, we got TVs at home. The little screen killed the big screen, okay?

The little screen is no match for the big screen. Sure, but you notice the people who are saying you have to go to the movies. But see, you have a giant screen. But the people who are saying you have to go in the movies. But the people who are saying you have. have to go experience the movies are the people who make movies. Generally, generally,

generally that is true. They're often the most vocal. However, I amc Hollywood, matinee of the country bears, $275. I mean, that is what we're working with here.

Mary, if I had not seen Dune 2 in the theater, right. Right. The substance in the theater? One of the best experiences I've ever had at the cinema. Sure. Mahal and Drive in the theater? Are you kidding me?

With friends, talked about it hours at the cafe later? I am re-watching something which is crazy, which is... Home videos of me doing my naked dances. Making a murderer. I haven't seen it since this came out. Do you remember that? I don't get into any of these... Takes place in northern Wisconsin.

I remember seeing on the local news all the time when it was happening. This woman's missing body, and they're trying to basically place the murderer. And the documentary kind of touches on this community kind of deciding this guy killed someone based on not enough information. And he didn't do it. Well, the documentary talks about and it's like, you know, kind of crazy. But watching it is just crazy because I remember it being on the news. That is crazy.

It was on the news every day when I was a kid. It's like the Boston Strangler. What's the Boston Strangler? Strangle. The guy in Boston is strangled people. Yeah. Women? Probably.

Yeah. It's awful. Yeah. Do you remember the... What if you were like, men? I'd be like, okay. Do you remember the... I forget what it was called,

but had Merit Weaver and Tony Collette, and they were playing... They were cops, and they were investigating a rapist. And it was a... I don't know, it was a series or a movie? I don't... I think it was a series.

Mini-series. Unbelievable. Did you watch that? It was... so good because it was like it shifted tones

effortlessly from like unbelievable Tony Colette do you watch things on the big screen or a miniseries

no no no I'm just I'm compromising okay so I've given up on the big screen now I'm saying little screen

so Merritt Weaver so hysterical Tony Colette obviously and it they have such a great dynamic in the tone of the

it gets very very graphic and because the way this sexual assault guy, assaults women is so specific and it's so thorough and it's so terrifying. And then, but what's interesting is that they, it's the way that these characters, Mary Weaver in particular, like how they treat these victims is how you should treat a woman who has been assaulted. And it's like very instructive and like illuminating at how, I mean,

you can imagine victims are not believed. You know what I mean? They're just, they're just discarded or dismissed. So it was like a really, really interesting, like character study for that. And then it was also like a funny kind of buddy cop movie,

but then it got really serious. It was like so good. So good. And it was like, it's rare to see something like shift tones like that pretty wildly and not be like crazy. Sure. I highly recommend it.

Highly recommend it. The rapist, or this is a little, I don't know. It was diabolical because he would make the, he would clean, like, clean all his tracks. Like, he was methodical about, like, not leaving a trace of anything. And he would make them shower and he would make them like, it was so fucked up. So fucked up. Yeah. So fucked up.

Crazy. You should watch it. But I don't like those. serial killer documentaries. Do you think something's wrong with me that I do? No, because I think they're hugely popular. Gwyneth Paltrow loves them. She watches them before bed.

Yeah, that, my boyfriend puts them on, like, when we're all supposed to, like, I don't think we need to take, like, a fat edible and then explore dead bodies. You know, like, I'm always like, can we just, can we put on Sabrina? Or, you know, you know, you put on jellyfish or happiness frequency or, like,

I'm telling you. Old-timey music from another room while Trixie and Katia play ping pong. Like one of those crazy Like volcanic eruption On the Samoan Islands While jellyfish like mate in the Sering Gets You know

We should have one of those on this channel Why do we let the other kids have all the fun? Thank you We can make our own soundscapes I had the jellyfish on last night And um The jellyfish, excuse me Yeah the beautiful

I mean there's so many I have you know My nighttime viewing is usually If like I'm still in the living room Kind of late I put on a thing to like wind down Because I haven't been reading in bed Very much So like

I put on the jellyfish, instant, like, drops you down. It's so soothing. And that giant screen, it's so beautiful. Right. And then I put the lights on to be like, you know, to match the colors. The vibes are so kind.

Do you sleep on the couch? No, no, no, no. This is like before I, because once I go up to, once I go up to the bedroom, it's in the bed. It's over. It's in the bed.

I don't, I do my thing in the bathroom and I'm right to bed. I deal with historically being with men who need the TV on at night. that's really hard for me but I just push through that's very impressive I push through that's very impressive have you ever done ear plugs or

cans to like drown out the noise soup cans? Yeah yeah Campbell's soup can no I don't need the silence my dream scenario is that I fall asleep and the TV turns off and it's off all night because a lot of times unless you turn the TV down it wakes you the fuck up well you can do the timer right

yeah time right Do you do the When we're on the topic of sleep hygiene Do you do the Levitation The lights gradually fading To the time that you want to wake up I rigged up I rigged up

LEDs underneath my bed So I can push a button And the under bed glows Whatever color I want That's kind of fun and funky But I won't wake you up though Never use it in the next episode Love the vibe though

Yeah But I have the dawn stimulation on my hugh lights to like for the over the course of a half an hour they pretends to be someone named dawn don't davenport oh devonport god don't say wake up uh don't winer yeah um listen i don't want to talk about the weather but after this rain taking everything from me this mold taking everything from me by the way me co-opting your storyline no no no no no it's a it's a shared trauma yeah it's a shared trauma okay we're trauma bonding yeah yeah the sun being out, I walk outside in LA, I look at the sky and I go, the fucking nerve.

The sun now, after you've taken everything from me. It's like the police arriving after the staff at my home. You take my, you take my livelihood, you take my joy, my pain. And now what? Well, I'll tell you what. That 80 degree day said that's Saturday. When I hopped out of bed, threw on a little jeans short and a little blouse slide and just fucking hoofed it over to flippers. to have some lovely souffle pancakes with Joseph.

And it was 80 motherfucking degrees and sunny. It's great. Oh, it was lovely. And I looked outside. There was taradactals on a building. It was weird. And then we went to ESOPs to get some fragrances and soaps and cleansers and shit. Oh, guess where I went?

Where'd you go? I love ESOP. They have that for sale at Todd Snyder at the Grove. Love that shit. That shit is, I got the fucking slab. It's so nice. The shower that I took, the showers that I have been taking. Right.

I know I don't smell particularly good right now. Just take my word for it, though. Right. I... Oh, my God, I forgot what I was going to say. You're going to say... Oh, I told you, I went to a drag race viewing party for the show Rupal's drag race. I did.

Okay. That's it. Is this the one with a... Do you a lighter? No. Oh, okay. That's Canada. That's Canada.

What is the best? It's sound off in the comments. I want to know what you think the best international franchise of drag races these days. It's Pennsylvania versus Libya. Shut the hell. It's North versus South Korea. No, what is it? So my friend, Daniel, do you know Daniel?

Cole? Vincent Ward. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. He texts me, hey, where are you at? And I was like, oh, my God, I'm at high tops having a drink. So my boyfriend, I were there having a drink. I love to go for happy hour because I love to get food.

Because, again, huge fat con. So I want to get some food. I I go ahead what's wrong I sometimes I just feel like this negative self-talk is taking too far oh I know my therapist said it's my it's my primary abuser in my head yeah it's probably true yeah um got this little nugget in therapy too what about this anxiety about the future it's about what has occurred Yeah. Is that about what could happen is about what has happened? Yep. You got that. You're one for yesterday, the other in tomorrow.

You're pissing on today. You're worried about pissing yourself because you shit yourself already. So. Tea. I went to the viewing party. If you can't piss yourself? How am I going to shit myself? Right.

Can I get an amen? I go to happy hour. Okay. And we're having delicious. The nachos at high tops should be studied. They're incredible. Okay. Oh, God.

What about pretzels? They got pretzels? They got soft pretzel there? Yeah, they do actually. They have soft pretzel. They got corn dogs, girl. The bar food at high tops is amazing. Oh, high tops.

Any bar food you think a bar should have, they fucking have it. It's so good. Vermont Street, Vermont Avenue. And they make this delicious tequila drink called a hot rod. Oh, the hot rod at hot hot hot hot. That makes you blacked out. I'm going to say blacked out. So they get with like tequila, whiskey and GHB?

Pretty much. So I've had two drinks. and I've had two drinks and some nachos and Daniel text me and goes Hey, we're going to go to a viewing party of Drag Race if you're going to be at High Tops And I was like, well, it's in like an hour and a half And I've just been sitting here drinking and eating for two hours

So I walk home, change outfits and come back Love that Same bar, new outfit But the people who work there know me from DJing And they're like, new outfit No, no, no. Listen, one life. That's great. Also, maybe he had a little stain.

I didn't have a stame. I was in gym clothes. I had just walked up to the reservoir and back down. So I was in gym clothes. Yeah, I said put on your tucks. Yeah. Well, it's a dry grace viewing party. I don't want people to be like, damn, this thing's over here and her fucking gym shark looking clapped.

You know what I mean? Bald faggot looking clapped in the gym shark, honey. That chopped clapped bag. The chapped faget. The Faggs are hurting. Faggs are tore down. So, I mean, I don't know if you feel this way. It's almost.

Going to any other viewing party for any other TV show is different than going to a drag race viewing party because we're you and me. Yes. And I want to go see my friend. And I like to catch drag race and I love high top. So I was like, let's just go. So we go. We're drinking. It's so busy.

Incredibly busy. It's like sports night, right? Yeah. The other show that's so busy is Survivor when that's on at the gay bars. It's balls to balls to face to titty's packed. Seen Survivor. And this is the difference. When Survivor comes back from commercial break, people are like,

so bad da-da-da-da-da. That, oh, baby, that gets me hard as a rock. They are completely silent. My peanut pecker is turgid. I love that. Drag race? They could not give a fuck what these F-A-Gs are saying at the gay bar. Oh, fuck you.

Girl, they're just, they're talking to themselves what they would wear. Like, they don't care. I'm straining to hear these homosexuals. It was an episode where they're doing a girl group, but it was all like rock music. It was like punk girl group. It's fun to watch. I love girl group.

of Drag Race. I like to watch them, you know, you're going to go record your part with Ravensimonia or whatever. You know, like they have to go record on the main stage, the fake music studio, which I love. Yeah. It's just a music stand. It's a music stand with like keyboard, but though not plugged. Yeah, with like Moby and Paula Cole on the keys, like truly. Polic Colacol, I don't want to wait.

So. Damn. So I'm trying to watch Drag Race and I'm almost like, I'm almost. Shishing people? No, no, no. A, I can feel the staring, right? Because of course, we're, you know. They're watching you watch it.

They're watching me, watch it. And so I'm, and I like DragGris and I'm supportive of DragGris. So I'm watching it. But I'm aware that I'm the only one watching it. Everyone's talking. So I'm like the only person like, like, like the Pennywise deadlights like, I'm the only one watching it, I think. I think the people are just waiting for the number. They're waiting for the performance on the main stage, you know?

Because he got the same part says Miss Tati. Like that's what they're waiting for. See, that's my skip. That's when I go have a little smokeout back or something. And then I don't even watch the lip sync. I come back to see who goes home. Right. I want to watch the runway.

I want to watch the challenge. That's about it. Yeah. Yeah. I was, but I love to, I just, you know what? I never like make time to watch Drag Race, but when it's on and I have the privilege to watch it. It's a great.

I love this shit. It's a great group viewing. It's a great group viewing. I mean, I wish, Mary, I wish you could have been there that night, the night that Lala rew wore the, the, um, this unforgettable night where she wore the paper bag, um, the gift bag. I mean, I've seen that. No, I know you have seen it.

But I was at, um, Joseph in, uh, Hunter's house. And there was probably 12 of us, baggots. And, um, his straight brother. Straight brother loved it. Straight brother was, love the bags. Well, the straight brother was, I think, a little bit preoccupied with the death threats and in invectives.

We were hurling at the television, the whole episode. To Lala. No, no, to everybody. Right. I mean, it was like the most unhinged. most unhinged, unfettered, unfiltered, unfiltered homophobia. And I left there thinking, that was too much. Right.

It was that that was too much. That was evil. Crime. That was evil. That was like evil. What we did was evil. I have nothing against a good book. There's evil here.

I have nothing against drag race. There is evil here. But you know what though? Buck those bags. No, no, no, no. But wasn't just the bags. Oh, okay. She was going to say, that's a funny outfit to at least dog pile on.

Oh, it was fabulous. That way, if you want to watch you. Even La La Rie's like girls' bags. Also, like, that's what you want to watch as a group. Because if you watch it by yourself, you have nobody to scream to. You mean? You mean, you're like. Yeah.

So it was, but yeah, I mean, oh gosh. But the way that we instantly became the most hate speech-filled, homophobic, fucking bottom of the barrel, like a proud boy kind of people who's just like so nuts. Try and take them. Yeah, it was wild. And I, the straight guy. I just a kiss my ass. Yeah, it was very much sad.

And the straight guy was like, I think she looks nice. My pronouns are gift bag. That is so cunt, though. Oh, it's amazing. It's amazing. Everybody else's and you're just, yeah, she's like, reading the New York Times.

She's doing the Sunday crossword. Why not? Yeah. So it was fun to go to a viewing party and hang out and have snacks and drink. I wish they would have paid attention a little bit, show a little respect for the girls. Yeah. Well, it's okay.

People have the right to watch it However they want to watch it But if it's a... But my last viewing party was Survivor, which was pin drop silence during the show. I love that. And we're talking like during the commercials, raucous screaming, splits on trees.

And then the second it starts, usually in gay bars when you hear the ha ha ha ha. That was my Ru Paul. Uncanny. Roo? Usually when you hear that, people shut up. Yeah, yeah.

But they were, I don't know, I guess they were there for the vibes. I think these gays were there to show off their own outfits. Like people are just there to show the... You don't say. A gay guy showing up at a gay place and not paying attention to any other thing, but other gay guys to have sex with? How unconscionable.

Get the shoes. Get the shoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great, you went to Aldo. Yeah. You know. I hate Aldo shoes. Right.

Okay. The Game of Thrones finale at the bar. I don't know if this was AI. I don't think it was AI back then. But it was like, when, when, spoiler, when. Aria kills the Night King on episode three, the crowd erupted like it was like, like they just won World War II. And that touched me so deeply.

And I wanted to be there so bad. But I was in Singapore hobbled, crippled, circling a computer, limping. When you were on, Draggers, did you do your own, did you go to viewing parties with yourself in it? Yeah, I hosted them in Boston. Okay, yeah. I hosted them in Boston until, right up until I was less eliminated. I think they'll shut up if you're there. Oh, no, no, no, yeah.

But it was also Jacquess. It wasn't so big. And it was like, yeah, we watched. I was like straining to hear this TV. And High Tops has 75 TVs. Oh, yeah. So many TVs. We had, we had a potato that, like,

with a flashlight on a little piece of cheesecloth. And then, like, somebody had a boombox. Like, that was our setup at Jacques. So you had to, like, be quiet. Yeah. I guess maybe that's a good way to get them to be quiet is to truly turn the sound down. Yeah.

You know, I was almost ready. to be one of those teachers who was like, well, I'll wait. You just get up, stand in front of all the television. You just tape up all the televisions. Right. I was almost like getting too wokeers. I'm like, these artists put a lot into that.

Like, we should all be a little more. You have no idea how much their luggage cost to ship over there? Oh, yeah. They should have at least hired me to caption it. You know what I mean? Yes. Sign it. Well, I don't have an experience.

Why don't we learn ASL? Do you know the alphabet? No. Perhaps Gabriel could help us. Gabriel. Gabriel speaks American sign language. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P, Q-R-S-T-U-V, W-X, Y, and Z. Well, it seems like you got a good start.

I just know the alphabet. Okay. Because we used to do that thing in high school where, like, we wanted to, you know, the outcast wanted to just talk shit about it. everybody else that we called like, you know. But for non-hearing individuals, is it the equivalent of being like, H-E-L-O? Do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, we were not communicating with deaf folks. We were not, we knew enough. We knew well enough not to try even to do that. And plus, I worry, you know, the brain is really a sponge when you're young. I worry that for you and I to take it on a new language at this point. How dare you? We remain neuroplastic, maybe not as much as we were when we were five, six, seven. But I've worked with you when you have to memorize things.

Yeah, but that's, it's about desire. See, when those things, I don't want to memorize. But ASL, I'm dying to learn it, you know? Right. You know? You should be really cool. I really, because I, yeah, it would just be really cool. It seems like, it seems like, it's, it seems like it's, it seems like it would take a lot of work. Well, I mean, it's a language.

Right. Yeah. Right. Have you ever heard a crispy cream? Are you kidding me? Was it crispy? It was creamy. Right.

The first time I had a crispy cream was in Las Vegas. and I could not believe it. It's, I know that it takes a year off your life every time you have one. Take all the years off. Because what I'm used to is America runs on Duncan,

which is horseshit. They're fine. No, no, no, no, no, no. And I like the apple. But it depends on what time we're going to the store. You got to go on the word. Are we going at 5.30 a.m.

Or we're going to 5.30 p.m. If you're going to spend the money, you want to go in the beginning of the day. Yeah. 5.30 p.m. is when they give you a hockey puck with a, with a hard. And they throw it at you. Yeah,

they throw it. at you and you didn't order anything. Yeah. Yeah. Well, do you know what the king of this is? The ones at the airport. They didn't bake those. They didn't make those donuts in the airport. They get brought to you from the location.

Airport donuts are always flopped out. No, mama, I went to this, a store in Las Vegas. And, or like it was like, you know, not a store, but it was, they baked them there. And that thing, when that thing went in my mouth, I could not believe. Did I about Krisby Green? Yeah. Oh, when they're fresh, it was fresh. Pull him out and give it to you.

It's unreal. I was like, holy shit. I instantly had two more. Full body chills. Yeah. I was like, I was transformed. Have you been to? What's that airport?

I think it's, um, LaGuardia. Denver has voodoo donuts, I believe, in the airport. Okay. Those are great. That's the ones with like cereal on them and shit. I mean, I like those. Those are really nice and fun.

But those are, what I love is the simplest, like the simple, the simplicity of Krispy cream because I just love a glazed. I love a glazed. I love the chocolate glaze. Of course. I love donuts. If there's ever a donut, if there's a donut I'm in.

I love donuts. You will never see me walk by donuts that are available to me. I could be so full that food is coming out of my throat and I will fan room for a donut. I'm like Celine with the shoes. What size do you have?

I make it work. I've worn the shoes like this. You've already had three meals, sir. That doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. What size do you have? Boston cream or jelly. Neither.

We're not doing it. fillings. Okay, great. Love it. None of this he-she-wee. We're not doing fillings. No filler queens. No fillers. I mean, I agree. I don't. Yeah. Yeah. Love a dog. Maybe. Maybe someday we can go do a co-lap. A co-lab. Why don't we just go and eat there? A dough lab. We don't have to, we could just go and eat there. Yeah, I don't know. We could just buy the, by the Dons. I don't think if we do some kind of

donut co-lab. Randy's Don't know's Donuts by the airport. The Trisian Cate Donut collab. Or we just go to Krispy Cream and have a bunch of donuts and pay for them, eat him and go home. Yeah, we could do that too. There was a Krispy Cream in Atlanta when I went to visit David and baby, I just he went to the bathroom.

I ordered six more donuts and ate them while he was in the bathroom. I'm not joking. Not joking. Your metabolism is incredible. I love America runs on Dunkin. I run on sugar. Yeah. And look at me. Nothing's wrong. I love breakfast. Breakfast.

Breakfast is You will never get Lunch wishes she Lunch is so jealous Lunch is so jealous And torn up And just twisted about breakfast Who cares?

Yeah And dinner She's so far away They don't even fuck with each other You know lunch is It's like New Year's It's like New Year's really Thinks it's a holiday

That's the most disappointing Who cares shit No Lunch is Labor Day mama Yeah Lunch is Flag Day I wake up Lunch is hungry

fantasizing about Eggs and toast I eat an egg almost every single day I wake up thinking about scrambled eggs, a little dry with lots of hot sauce, salt and pepper, sourdough toast with butter and grape jelly.

Sourdough toast, you faggot. Crispy bacon. Yeah, crispy. Fucking fluffy pancakes. Just one little triangle of French toast, maybe a brieosh French toast with some maple butter.

And then a fucking sausage and then an orange juice gets a good old acid reflux. Oh yeah, to get that bubbling. Oh, yeah, to throw up later that night. What about grapefruit juice? No, no, because I'm doing a pot of coffee as well. Right.

And then I'm good. Do you make your own coffee every day? I do. You do? Do you have one of those machines? No, I grow... Well, I go out... I go to Columbia.

I press or whatever. No, no, I do. I get ground coffee. I'm very basic. I do Mr. Coffee. What do you think of instant coffee? Instant coffee is disgusting. I had a roommate who drank instant coffee.

It's absolutely disgusting. It's undrinkable. Is it just... It's just... it's just... It's not even powder. it's like, it's like, it's like, it's coarse. It sucks. It's disgusting. That just like gave me a chill.

Yeah, it's gross. Sanka. You're welcome. Bye. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Do you love coffee? Let us know. Hot cough. Good moods.

Okay, bye. Thank you.