The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - The Grand Imperial Jubilee of Radiance, Womanhood & Excellence

Episode Date: September 8, 2026

Legends tell of the final round of a combination beauty pageant/spelling bee that ceased to resemble any known human contest, but had instead become a brutal reckoning of song, dance, and cutthroat orthography. It unfolded beneath the brass chandeliers of a Holiday Inn in suburban Alabama, where the faded ballroom carpet bore mute witness to Trixie and Katya performing desperate pirouettes to stale 80s power ballads and sheepishly spelling words like "prestidigitation" while shooting glares as sharp as daggers across the stage at each other like silent declarations of mascara-drenched animosity. Outside, the interstate burned beneath the humid Southern night; inside, these two sequined titans stood at the very edge of destiny. For one impossible hour, somewhere between a broken ice machine and the complimentary continental breakfast buffet, the fate of beauty, class, and poise itself was decided by the gods of synthetic-bejeweled tiaras. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Follow me on Twetzer. Girl, can I tell you what I've been doing? Please, Tuts. So you know microdosing. Let's take a break. Oh my God. Sorry, well, I'm not doing that.

I'm macro dosing. I think of marijuana and watching toddlers and tiaras. And it has been macro dosing with Tyler Parisha. I gotta talk to you about what's going on over there on on Trix. Have you ever seen this program?

I love Tom Hanks. Okay, but I've never really seen it. thinking of dance moms but i think no i'm thinking of i'm thinking of alissa but isn't she a dance mom's person she's a trick san stand trick san so i'm watching toddlers and tiaras there's and this this this okay so each episode is a different town it's a different city it's a different pageant system yes 101% of these are happening in multifunction rooms at sheridan ends we're talking no fancy lighting we're talking like if the car the theme of the pageant is like Hollywood nights it's like a shitty party store sign that says like and the Oscar goes too

and I'm telling you these pageants there is one age that's right for pageants and it's like four five no no no no no no this one woman this one woman it was so awesome I almost called you but I was like I have to stop but I made a voice note so these moms are it's the whole I used to be a dancer and now of course there's that there's the I was in pageant so I make my daughter do it yes and then there's people were like she wants to do it so we're just here There's a lot of surprisingly normal people who are like,

Tricksand. We just clip in her fake teeth and her fake hair and send her out to the Sheridan. Like, really. It's like, it's that. I'm watching a lot of this show. I don't know why I started watching. You know what it is? I watched so many.

I started watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Okay. Not a white refrigerator. I've never really seen it from the beginning. Yeah, yeah. Whoa. Yeah. So I, I've only watched a clip that you sent me on like, I don't know,

Instagram or something. Oh, of Kim and the wig. No, no. I knew about Kim way back in the day because, um, it's not even a wig. It's a half wig. It's halfway, yeah. But it looks like she threw that half wig in the air and went under it and went like this.

Yeah. Zolciak, right? Zoltiak? Yeah, and as the seasons go on and this is what wig blindness is about. Now I'm like, that's her hair. It is her hair. She owns it. But I mean, the front pieces are 613 blonde. The rest of it's an ashy.

Yeah, it's no way. Synthetic blend. But watching it for so long now, because I think I'm on season four now, I've never really seen it from the beginning. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, no, I know. I know. Wow.

Do these bitches fight? Oh. Holy shit. Yeah. And wow. Yeah. Let's go get you a home. Does Nini dog walk these bitches on a daily basis?

Oh, we in the ghetto. It's not even like, it's so much worse than shade. Some of the women there shouldn't even talk to them or look at them. So the whole time they're like, Andy McSid about being pregnant a fourth time. She's just like, she's like, she is like. She's doing a master class in shade ology. Yes. And I've seen the clips on the internet.

Yeah. But I've not seen it cumulatively where you're watching the whole thing. First of all, yeah. I had a white refrigerator. These women are very candid. The candid. I mean, these, Atlanta, we're in season four, we're talking divorces. We're talking boyfriends passing away.

Not to mention it's a great mix of women who've actually worked for their money, like candy, who wrote bills, bills, bills. And the other side of it is women who, let's say, are very front facing with the fact that their, their husband or ex-husband gave them money. Sure. So it's the two extremes. Housewives. Housewives. I'm a housewife. I'm a house. This is my house. Of hotlanta. We don't really say that.

Hot Lana. Fuck. I love Atlanta, but fuck that heat, girl. Girl. Georgia needs to be... With this, it's, it's so hot. I pray for the heat. I pray for the people in Georgia in the summer months. I think that they're... Not you. No, my sister. My sister.

Oh. With this heat and that neck? Should we move to Atlanta? Never. You think we get a pod studio with Tyler Perry? Savannah. Savannah. Savannah, Georgia. Oh.

Yeah. Very witchy. Very pretty there. Very witchy. Very witchy. Yeah, Savannah is cool. So I'm watching this from the beginning, the Atlanta girls. And I'm just starting to get fatigued because it's so much fighting.

It's really a lot of fighting. Yeah. It's a lot of fighting. So now I pivoted to Toddars and Tears, which is a lot less drama. It's, I mean, I don't want to be problematic. I love to watch the little girls in the little outfits do their little twist and spin in like this. I love it. Shirley Temple.

I love Tom Hanks. I can't say it. You know what? It's nobody because I don't know. Oh, it grows the economy, though. It definitely grows the economy. Listen, I'm teaching my daughter confidence. And in every era of your life, confidence helps.

I'm like, damn, she's right. Most smartest. Nobody could have put me in a pageant. Somebody could have put me in a pageant. So I got a clip to play. You were in a pageant. Oh. You won a pageant.

I did, but that doesn't count. I'm talking much. I'm talking about child. A USA at large. Most smartest. So you got to listen to this. So this kid was in this pageant. Yeah.

His name was like Grayson or something. Yeah. So this is him competing. He's, um, The Yodler? 23 months old. So I need you to hear what the mom says about him. Okay.

As well today as I expected or as I had hoped. And that's not typical for him. But being 23 months old, I always have my doubts on how he's going to do it. But, you know, Maverick didn't do as well as you normally does. But the thing is being 23 months old, I always have my doubts. You know, he's not the most smartest. He's not the most prepared. These parents rip into these kids.

And then this other, this other. This other woman, one of the daughters had a fit and went home. So the other one was in the pageant. And the other one you could tell was not as into the pageant. So the mom was like, you know, and we have, you know, Amber still up there. But, you know, she's not a winner. No. The mom was like, she's not a winner.

She doesn't like it. She doesn't perform very well. And she's kind of worthless. And I can't believe she's even related to me. Yeah. My other daughter was here. Yeah. I wish Amber was here.

You know, she's not my prized pig. But we'll roast her. And we'll pork bill here up. and we'll eat it. Why do you assume it's in the Midwest? These are all the South. It's all the South. Pork belly pigs.

I love Tom Hanks. The South loves the pageants. Oh, okay. This is the South. The rain. Do you know this about this person called Eden Wood? No. Sounds like a drag name, doesn't it?

She's 21 now, which kind of sucks because I was trying to look for more little kid pictures of her and now she's an adult. Oh, what a boner killer. Don't you live? She's like the star. She's like the star. I'm watching. Are you kidding me? bitch. I love Tom Hanks.

This bitch. This bitch. This cunt eats the girls up on a level that the other. They just sit there. Foodless. Jobless. Jobless. Struggling in Brooklyn. And she walks in looking exactly like this outside of the photos. And the rest of them, it's like 12 girls quit on the spot. Dude. Okay. The other mom's like, yes, I've done pageants with Eden and she normally wins. And they have like an eyewitch. Do you know what's crazy? We have Eden on the line right now. Get ready for this. Eden Wood? Yeah. You're going to die. We have Eden Wood on the pod. You're going to die.

She goes to bit quite early The thing is we're all going to die I know and hopefully today So most smartest in the pageant Who is this? Hello guys Is this Eden Wood of Cohasset New England?

Yeah How did you win that pageant How did you win that pageant as such a young age gal How did you do it? Tell the callers Because we don't we want to know I can't believe it's really you It's a, it's volume of piss is the secret. Damn, that piss was loud.

Was it, was it, was it, what was the secret? What was the secret? What was it? What's your favorite pageant you ever won? Little Miss, uh, crab claw. Well, that was specifically for children. I was Miss Crab Rangoon. So I,

So I won Miss Gay Boston, and that's not a joke. So, yeah, yeah. Current raining, current raining. She, of course. Was anybody else competing? Yeah, there was a dog and a brick, and I won. But what about the fact that a pageant's, if you're the only one there, you just win? Hello.

Well, that's every night when I go to bed. So Tricksand won All-Stars 4? There's something. I don't know. Yeah. And so we have to go, Eden, but would you tell us, what's the secret? If I want to win a pageant and I need to go back in time. and I'm a little girl struggling.

What's the, what does you think the, the secret is? What's the, what do you say to me right before I go out on the, on the stage? Wormhole. Thank you, Eden. That was crazy. Wormhole. No, I, the internet says she's 21. She sounds quite a bit older.

No, she woke, she's a wormhole her way into Spain and then just got a job there. She's just staying in Spain. Yeah. Yeah. Macy Robin, everybody. Macy Robin. No relation to Dennis. Transpeople can do anything.

Anything. And one thing we know that they can do is transform. I'm getting a pussy and going to Spain. Shablandgola. How many people would say that and not be able to do it? Luscious Massacre. So I have been watching this movie that is going to curl your hair. What is that?

It's called Nothing But Trouble. You've been watching in the movie? I've been watching this movie. Since 1990 minutes? Oh, okay. I'm like, I treat it like it's a series. I can't wait see what happens next week. You started from the beginning.

It was like moving that Charlie's therein vehicle. The old guard. I was like, I got the, so I have the old guard just so that people at home know that I have the prop weapon and the real weapon, both of these nuts, in my living room, in my frigid air. That makes me feel safe. I know. I know. So I got the rubber grip and I got my pussy grip. I got the sharp grip.

I haven't used the sharp grip. I'm not going to use it. It's too dangerous. But, you know, just in case, if you see something, slay something. You know what no one's ever going to say about you? that you're afraid of your own happiness. I think you really run full speed toward it. Don't try to flat it.

You can walk out to people and say, it's kind of like Russian roulette. Yeah. One of these will kill you. Yeah. One of these might also kill you, but more blunt force trauma. I have two old guards swords in my hand.

Which one of these have you forced me to give you the chop with? I love toddlers and two hours. Oh yeah. No, I get it. Is it problematic? Do you think pageants are bad? Well, I think that, but when adult men do it, I think it's funny, but when children do it, is it okay?

Is it bad that I watch it? No, I don't think it's bad that you watch it. I think it's questionable that it exists, but we're all questioning existence every day of our lives. And if TLC's behind the camera, that's not their fault. I mean, it's not our fault either. You don't know what it must be hard for? When I think of pageants, I think of the children,

and I think of drop-dor-gorgeous teenage girls. Most smartest. What do you do if you love pageants and you're like 13? What is that middle age about? Do they have pageants for middle school? Absolutely. They do? They have, so you get spelling bees, right?

I guess that's a brain pageant. No, but I mean, it can be, it's a beauty pageant too, because you go up there, you have your your hair on brush, you got flossing your teeth, and you've got like braces and you've got your Becky spectacles on. And you look like the cat's ass. You smell like cat shit, hamster shit, all kinds of shit. And they say, Czechoslovakia. And you're like, C-Z-H-O-S-O-V-A-K-I-I-A, Czechoslovakia.

And they're like, how did you do that? Yeah. I was most smartest in the third-grade spelling bee, most smartest. Wow. Then they had to have a, get this, this is elder, this is child abuse. This is when they do this. I don't know about. So you didn't start out stupid?

No. I love Tom Hanks. What happened? I love Tom Hanks. Huffing is crazy. Huffing. Huffing is Felicity Huffin. Arianna Huffington.

They had to, we had to stand up in third grade. This is so crazy, girl. It's so crazy. Asking a third grader to stand up. Thank you. No. Ms. Connor. She had me stand up.

She said, the word I got wrong was Cologne when I had to spill it backwards. This is what you should have hit her with. She said, what is, smell the word, cologne. And then she said, do they ring the bell when it's wrong? No, she goes, eh. I swear to, I swear to, I swear. What a cunt.

On Tom Hanks' life, I swear to God. It was a Catholic school girl. I would have gone, is that what you think, Miss Connor? I would have, I bet you really know a lot about spelling, you fucking whore. You whore? You whore? Because this f*** is about to give you your walking papers. Tell me. Brought my mountain bike inside, 10 speed, Rich.

I would have got the back tire over her face. I started. Oh my God. I would snatch that skin right off. fucking fast and it would have been like, how did you spell it again, honey? Cologne. She would have said, sassafras. And I would take out a bottle of Calvin Klein obsession and pour it on her exposed skin all over her face. And so you better fucking shut up. Trickson. Teachers are so out of pocket. I hate teachers.

So, and I was, love you. Love teachers. No, no, no. But I mean, but I mean, let them lead the way. But now that I think back, teachers were always such a bitch to me. And I was like, why? Because I'm, because I'm killing. Because I'm killing. Because I'm killing. Yes. And I'm pulling focus. And my, my jokes. Val McClelly. My jokes are fresh. Fresh. You know, the way I stick

every landing, every punch lines. Landing, punchlines. You're the one trying to teach us something we genuinely will never use again. And I'm over here talking about the difference between New York and L.A. You know, I should be allowed

to be funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because guess what? That made me a lot more money than long division. Thank you. You fucking bitch. You fucking bitch.

You got the nerve. The big pussy spread. Holy shit. Oh, yeah. The best is when a teacher you hate. That grip. Imagine the grip. I teach you you hate retires.

I hear about it. I go, about time. I'm about 30 years too late. So, and then you're gonna love this. You're gonna really love this fucking. So I, she don't know what I'm in a while. You don't know tricks and please. So she, I get up and I, we have to get up.

We go around the room. It's so crazy, long, boring, crazy nasty. Like, and we have to spell them. Once we all spell them right, she's like, now you get to do it backwards. And we're like, is this bitch for real? And she was for real. And she laughed us. all into our seats.

When we got it wrong, she said, eh, nice try it, bag. Could I tell you, uh, would have not flown for me. It didn't really fly for me. I'm telling you, I would have walked up to her, taking my palm my little hand. Yeah. Right across the forehead.

Yeah. Just a swift back hender. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But you know what, though? Teachers having to buy their own school supplies, what was supposed to do to go hotwire a buzzer? Um, I mean, I don't know.

She was about 12 and she was teaching third grade. She a drinker. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big alcoholic nose, huge chubby cheeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Red. Red. Reddy. Reddy. Reddy, reddy bronze. Reddy bronze cheeks. She was gurgling Jameson in the back.

What do you think is going on with the drinking over there with the Irish? Well, I think that they're trying to stay alive and they're, it's, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Irish bogs, cranberries, large greens. I mean, I'm not, I'm not being a judgey. I'm saying, like, the spirit and the culture of like Irish Catholic alcoholic right here, baby. Irish Catholic. Irish Catholic family. I mean, like Irish pubs. I'd be like drinking is a big part of it. It's the weather. Probably. Whether you like it or not. We know Wisconsin has the lowest mortality rate or whatever it means when someone dies the oldest. Highest mortality rate.

Yeah. Dyes the youngest. Most smartest. Because people just drink so much. Yeah. And that's why I moved. And all that cheese. To drink the same amount of drinks at double the price. No, you don't. Here in Los Phila's. No, you cannot do that. A cocktail for $18? I'm back to not drinking anymore. Good. Okay. As a Friday. 27. Bartender, I'll take the most smartest for $27. The problem is, I always want to have like one or two drinks and go home. And the problem is the group gets one or two drinks and changes plans.

I always go out with a plan. I'm going to have these two drinks and go home. Perfect love and perfect trust. And the group is always like, but we had three, so should we have seven? Like it's always some kind of gay, me against the world. And I'm just like, oh. Yeah. But the problem is substances have affected my life.

Tea. Period. Tea. Just take a break. And when do I get famous enough that I get to stop paying for drinks? gay bars. Whoa. Okay.

Whoa. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody, everybody. This is wild. Okay. Why is she paying for her fucking drinks? This is crazy.

Because everyone wants to go to. This is. Everyone wants to go to the first national bank of Trixie Mattel. This is crazy. Shut that hell. Let me tell you. Miss Connor. Miss Connor.

Go for Miss Connor. Okay. She's dead. Great. I got her. I got her. Miss Connor. We need Sylvia Derry and E. Murray.

When I walk into a gay bar, bartender should drop everything. Grab a full bottle and start whipping. And you light the sock on the end. It's Molotov cocktail. You whip them at me. Most smartest. And the great news is, I go home early.

I don't get hung over. I just have burns. Stimulates the economy. It's a grossy economy. So this is a shout out to, and I also wanted to talk directly to Cameron to mention all the people that I want to fuck this episode. Is that cool? Oh, I love shout out. Okay.

Okay. This is a shout out to all the motherfuckers who find themselves behind a bartending apparatus. When you see Ms. Tricks-zan roll up in her pink Cadillac or her mobile home or her Barbie car with a dead bird in it. Honey, you better get that New Jersey turnpike rattle gripped and squeezed into a shock glass from Ms. Tricksand. No charge, no tip, no unnecessary pain, suffering, or anything.

You got to get a bottle of Yeagermeister, a Brogermeister, a Borgermister, a Bottlemermeister, a bottle of Juergens, don't have. And a bottle of Juergens, so she can Sussu Zza, Sizzas, Srake Z. Stroke's it. No, I drink that too. How else am I going to make sure I'm soft on the inside? Cherry almond?

Cherry almond. Thank you, Trikman. That's your thing. Hey guys, Trixie and Katyr having a Juergens cherry almond pride party at the spot in West Hollywood. Yeah. And could happen, by the way. Could happen. Also, maybe we can get Jirgin our fingers up and find your G spot. Hashtag logo TV. Hashtagggyz. Hashtag Gipson. Hashtag gay gipson. Hashtag gay Gibson.

Tammy Brownso is shouting out her friend gay Gibson. Yeah, hashtag gay Gibson. Hashtag Gipson girl. Hashtag Gibson guy. Hashtag logo TV. Wait, wait. Wait. Wait. Still shouting out. Oh, yeah. So if you don't listen. What about the soup guy? The soup guy, not soup Nazi?

No, that guy who came to your house with soup three times. Love this. Oh, you know, so if you see Trixan in the streets and she's struggling in Brooklyn, it makes things meet, please give her a shot. You got over the soup guy? I thought that was like a love affair of your life. I knew this was going to happen. I hate getting invested in your relationships because the person's gone in like two days. I tried three times.

I love Tom Hanks. I love Tom Hanks. That's eating. Get his number. No, no, no. He didn't come back. He didn't come back. But I did have sex with, so I've been trying.

I've been trying. I said, please give my sister Tricksand some drinks so I can go have some sex. I went to the gym today and I said, I got up in the handstand for the peace slur. And I said, these are the people that I want to have sex. So this is a shout out to. Tom from Opus Fairfax, he works at the front desk. Jeremy, I know you're straight. Can't fuck me.

I know it. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I also want to have sex with Henry Cavill, Tom Hanks, Stephen Spielberg. I want to have sex with Jean-Claude Van Dam, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Maria Shriver. I want to have sex with Sam Kinnison

Sandy Bullock Nicole Kidman What about the other Superman? The new one's fine as hell too Oh, Peter Winklemeier Love him. Yeah, it is... No, no, it's Dan Devonsport or something like that.

I mean, Henry, Henry Cavill is so beautiful, but the new Superman is also... Thank you so much. My God. New Superman, I'll roll in Zaheve as you. Wauhren. Roll in Zahe. Are you a Tom Holland fucker?

No, so Tom Holland. You can buy her a drink, but I know you guys Zendaya, so... I think the lesbians want him. Yeah, no, they should. I've learned weirdly, no one wants men more than lesbians. Is that true?

Is that Law Roach? Ask any card-carrying lesbian and she'll be like, oh. We'll have to ask a law roach. Tom Holland, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You and I? No, oh, right, right, right, right. Hello.

Earth to share. That's the long con, is that the lesbians are trying to get to you and I. Yeah. Because we're whatever's beyond women. It gets worse. Yes. Right.

You're the Yeagermeister, and I'm the Wolf Blisser. Yeagerbaum. Yeagerbaum. You guys funny have a Yeagerbaum. Most smartest. I feel I'm at an emotional crossroads because my brother invited me to come to Royal Wisconsin for Thanksgiving. It's not that I don't want family time.

It's that I'm afraid my family's going to be there. And also, it's just cold going to Northern Wisconsin and the Thanksgiving times. Whatever. What ever happened to summer? Hi, Trixie. Whatever I'm going to. Hey, Tracy. It's a fourth of July.

It's going to be a long three-day weekend. Hot dogs. Get up here for the winter. I know. But I did fall in. I reconnected with my first love, my first crush. His name is Nick Samowski. Love him.

Polack. Polish guy. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, he knows I'm talking about him. Don't trust. Does he know he's Polish? He knows he's Polish. His mom recently died.

Oh, okay. And she was a Trumper, so he didn't, he was like, good riddins, bitch. Good riddins. Baby, I'll say it. Tricks Ann. I'll say it. Mary. See you later, bitch.

Thanks a lot, bitch. That's how I feel. That's how I feel. That's how he feels. And where it's like, there's nothing to process. Good. with see you in hell or heaven or whatever, Tricksand.

There's other people to worry about. Thank you. Like me. Well, like me. We lost Tim Curry. We lost Dallie Pardons and these things happen in threes and I haven't talked to Kelly Mantle today.

Oh, God. RIP, the voice of an angle. The voice of a generation. The voice of a generation. We don't know. We don't know. George Washington.

She's the voice of many generations. She's the voice of Cherry Tree. She's also the voice of boss baby. Yes. A lot of people don't know that. She's like, I'm the baby. I'm the boss.

I signed the wrong name. I also want to fuck. I'd also like to fuck Patrick Swayze, R-A-P. I also like to fuck, I guess Tom. I would just want to be very, very clear about this. Tom, at the gym, you work the front desk, you know who I am, I know who you are. Let's make it happen.

Let's make a deal. I also wonder- What happens when they hear this, and then you go see him in the wild, and then... Oh, no, no problem. They'll be like, I heard you, I see you.

It's not happening, boo. Check it. A white refrigerator. Right, but we do have a note for management. They want you to stop wiping your ass with the gym towels. Thank you. Thank you. Tricks-Anne. I love Tom Hanks. What do you think I do that Mr. Wonderful averages at a hotel about four towels per shower?

I'm saying, what's wet? Everything's so wet. I go in the bathroom. There's no, there's no, hand towels. There's no towels for me. And we also, he also doesn't like to have the room cleaned. Tricks-Anne. So then I just live with wet towels for days. I'm probably going to get. Black mold? No, no, no. I'm going to get pneumonia. Pneumonia? No, what's the thing where if, what, what? Romythory. They were making everyone get. Romythory. They made me get immunized for it to move into my dorm. Crickneck? Crickneck, whooping cough. Spirulina.

We'll know when I get it. Spirulina. We'll know when I get it. Hypolyroxy spirulina is a killer in the hotel industry. Did you and I talk about my dead dad on this pod? No. We didn't, did we? I kept meaning to bring it up, but I didn't.

My real dad died a couple months ago, and it was just kind of odd. I don't know if it's work, but like, it was kind of weird. And so I didn't know how I felt about it, so I didn't talk about it. And then I went on this pod and she asked me about it. And it just, you know me? Just brought it up. Fierce. On someone else's pod, talking about my own dead dad.

Well, what are you going to do? Like, there's like, I don't know what I was doing. It was just like a complicated thing because... Did you cry? I was just explaining how it's weird because if you don't know your parent, but then you find out your parent dies, it's a very weird thing. Yeah, it's like Sam Wheat. Say it. Sam Wheat.

But also, it's like, I don't know you. So I'm not sad about not knowing you. But I guess I have some kind of awareness that this will, this happened and it will never, I will never know you. Yeah. Kind of weird. I mean, I guess the person is responsible for the fertilization. of an egg via his sperm that

produced you, it does affect you in some way in the way that I love Tom Hanks. But you know, if you don't have a relationship on the human sphere with them, then, you know. That's what I felt weird about it was like, what am I supposed to feel? Because it's just like, somebody I don't know, telling me to sell me somebody else I don't know, dies. Well, kind of weird. The thing about this. So when I had my neighbor

climb up the ladder right up the three-story townhome, vertical ladder. Okay. With a giant gas tank to fix his air air conditioning 50 yards away. And And I was like, great, great.

Love this. He and his father are going to die. Right. I was like, so that's going to be awkward. When I see their bodies tumbling through, were they trimming the trees, because they were trimming the trees at my house, and I swear to God, these guys were doing something.

Okay, we have palm trees in my yard. Yeah. Have no branches. Hi. Hello. Hello. How do you climb it? They have like a harness.

Yeah, I know. It's crazy. And they like. Shimmy. Hummy. Yeah. The tree, it's like, hump it. hump it up.

You got to hump it up there with a chainsaw on one hand. Don't you know. Hang in. Like someone's lesbian carabiner. Thank you. It's hanging there. Shopping branches. And oh my God.

I just was in my house like hiding because I get weirdly guilty. Not that I can know how to trim trees. You're really guilty about being like a witness to it being hot outside and someone up a tree. Yeah. Well, I love to do it. I love to get involved in the mix. Put myself in the court on the court as to speak.

Because I have a manual saw. it's one of those cartoon saws from Looney Tunes hurts everyone does not grow the economy so and I put it next to your Charlize there and axe and yeah I hawk the axe up there and see where it sticks and stays

and then I go up there I shimmy up the thing with my little butt out with my little butt out but you know what the fastest way to get up there is what answer my pants hail payment

chop off the head float that's the fastest way and then that's the fastest way that's the fastest way why get one of those butt loops most modest

But just how do they teach people to do that? Because that looks so dangerous. But part of me is trying to think of the physics of it. Your own body weight. It's really dangerous. It probably feels more secure than a ladder. Oh, well, yeah, I guess it is. Why not both?

Why not both? Yeah. So I'm high on marijuana. Yeah. Talking to... By the way, I think it's like it comments on this pod about how it's disrespectful to me to talk to you about my recreational drug use. Excuse me.

I would decide, excuse me, Ms. Connor. Ms. Connor, Ms. Connor, I will decide for myself a grown-ass woman and a big man, big, huge man. Yeah. Fat, fat pig. Huge. What is, what is describable and distasteful for my own pleasure and enjoyment? Thank you. I don't know.

Also, we're two people who are living in the now, living in the moment, who love Tom Hanks. I'm a woman of the 90s. We're two women of the 90s. We're two women of intelligence, integrity, and energy. I think we get to decide what goes and what stays for us, just as human beings, me and you. Right. You and I. And you know what?

Most smartest. I could walk out of here. Kelly Mantle will be in here like that. That, with her face covered up. The entire face. Ninja can't see her. Don't want to see her. If you have a guy not noticed,

Kelly's bangs have covered her eyes. Yeah. And the microphone covers up to the nose. So you just see two nostrils. Just two nostrils. It's two blow holes. That are painted black. For vigorness.

Yeah. For biggerness. For biggerness. For biggerness. For biggerness. For biggerness. Through lash extension? Through nostril extension?

Natural extension. Received. So I'm, but I watch so much of that tolerance and terror shit that I started to really surprise myself by the way I'm talking about these. Like, watching it like this. And they're like, up next.

Well, she's fucking disgusting. Oh, my God. I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, God, your daughter looks like an old man. Oh, my God. Oh, she's fucking bald. Oh, my God. And then I had to be like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, but then I'm like, it's my right to sit home and say these things to myself.

Yeah, absolutely. I'm not in the world. I'm not sending letters. No. I'm not going to their social media and saying, I saw you in an episode of this, I don't like it. No. And you should K-YS, you little bitch.

No. But it makes, it's like when people watch Drag Race and they're like, no, no. People have never done drag being like... Oh my God. Are you kidding me? I wish you had been at a Joseph's house with me, Hunter, at all, when we had watched the Lollary gift bag episode. What happened?

Well, I'm gonna be frank. And I'm ready to tell my story to People Magazine and Joey Nolfe. Because I was... That's sad because Cameron Sheets is getting it first. And then Evan Ross Katz has the exclusive. It's exclusive. But People Magazine is on the line. And they really have a right to know what had happened on the night that the bag went

on to the body. And what happened was this. It was a lot of malicious gay faggotry. It was a lot of, it was a lot of flagrantly abusive talk, a lot of rhetoric. A lot of rhetoric being spewed at the television. And Joseph's straight brother and his wife, his sister-in-law were there. So they had a front seat to all this malicious gay faggatry, pageantry rhetoric. Vihemant elder abuse, evil, the fruits of evil, the devil, a bunch of nuns.

It was crazy. I found myself screaming things at the television that I had never thought I was previously capable of screaming. And I'm not talking about Ms. Connor. I mean, I put my full pussy on the deli counter in terms of that screaming, that screeching and that the violent imagery that came out of my mouth via rhetoric.

So that's how I was with the toddlers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I get it. I get it. It's totally understandable because they're putting themselves. You're just flirting around in this like Moroccan bizarre full of spices and shoes and you're like, that's disgusting. I love that.

Right. I'm not, God, I'm certainly not a pageant star. No, and you're not public. I'm not going on Twitter and saying, this little girl that I saw in this episode looks like a bald old man. Should KHS? No, no, no, no, no.

But I almost heard myself call this little girl a bald man and being like, but you can just say that. I am a old bald man. Thank you. Right? Which, you know what? It makes me think about myself again. I love my neck.

Right. And I'm not going to get a necklift. What's wrong with your? I mean, your neck is doing what it's supposed to do. Thank you. It's supporting that little head. My head. Yeah, that teen little head.

That teen little head. That sexy head. Tricks and I love Tom Hanks I love Tom Hanks I do oh I miss Summer Tramp it was yesterday Oh that's tough That's a fun party

That's really tough That's tough I was busy Most smartest Summer Tramp you know I'm aware I know what's going on At these summer tramp parties

I don't know if you do I've been once Okay well let me tell you what happens It's outside It's outside It's giving this is what it's giving Trampy summer It's giving

No no no it's giving GHB It's giving crack cocaine It's giving black ox need a um it's giving this black box need a black ox it's giving extreme peptides dot com it's giving melanatine tans too it's giving melania tan too it's giving melania griffith it's in morton girl it's giving it's a two-way street test and you make it happen it's giving katherine parker vundashindak unzzi it's giving jane dculec it's a great location for the gays in los

angeles who have no job but are constantly exhausted thank you and you know they're they're getting into a waymo because they're jeed out to the max they're so jeed they can't even they're like oh oh ooh They're not a woman of intelligence, integrity, or energy at that moment because they're on so much GHB. It was just fine. But yeah, I didn't go to Summer Tramp because I'm too afraid of public sex. Right. You're going to get sex to?

No, I'm not going on that list, girl. I'm not going to be fooled into that again. I'm not doing that whole song and dance again, where people invite me out to a lovely little cookout or barbecue or some kind of gay dance party with homos and dancing in the sun and sweating and smiling in the sunlight of the spirit and a pool. and then I take off my nasty little bikini, my monokini, my tankeene, my little bits and start shining in the sun and people say, pitow. Right. Not with that neck, though. Thank you.

We mean, oh, the gristled turkey neck? The girth. But I'm not, I love Tom Hanks. It's not that your neck is big. It's that your head is so little. So what do we do? I'm not going to, I assume me, I'm not going to a fucking sex party with the public. That's like, have you ever been with a guy who has, it's like a long dick?

Yeah. But the tip is really small. Oh, no, no. And it's like pointy like a spear. But then the other side of that is the people who have... The dickhead that is so big that you're like, when you pull this out of me, I'm going to be turned inside out. Yeah, plunger. Yeah.

Breaks the sound barrier. Thank you. If you can get it in, you're like, if you pull that out, I'm going to turn side out. Sonic the hedgehog. Oh, Tritsy and I tell you, these people are always tops. They're always tops. And they're always like, we'll just go slow. I'm like...

Slow. It's an ottoman. honey. Thank you. I haven't had anything on my butt for, um, since I got out of the hospital. Well, let me tell this. I don't miss this about being single. When the guys come over and they say they don't want to buck. It's a lie. Oh, they want to put it in your butt hole. I don't know if I want back. Well, really? Because yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. Get out of here. For real. Yeah, you do. They all do. It's me. It's true. They all want it. They all want to stick it in your nasty ass. Oh, yeah. I just want to see it. Then I want to lick the asshole. Oh, now I want to fuck. Now we're doing all this.

Are you for real? Earth to share. Come in. Are you for real? No, that's why I always had, yes. That's why I always had good boundaries about this. Here's what I'm not doing. If we're going to hook up, here's what I'm not going to do. Okay. So how do I...

Because then they get there and they're like, well, and then you're painting. I just like, really want to fuck you. And I'm like, well, we have a... Now I'm Chris Hanson. Yes. I'm like, I have the transcript. We said we weren't going to have sex.

Thank you. So what are you doing here? Tallus and tiaras. What's going on? Thank you. So do you have any advice for me to, so I need to nip this in the butt. also I need to ascertain whether certain individuals are actually interested in having sex because sometimes they say like, would you like to hang out?

And they say, yeah, we're just, we're three guys living here. Like my neighbor across the street. And I interpreted that as one to have sex. And he said, I think just play video games, which I know is a stepping stone to other things. It is. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. But I also hate that. Why don't you just come over and play PlayStation. Are you going to be nude when I get there? You fucking freak. Thank you so much.

I feel so seen invalidated. Because I'll do sex, but I need to know. I need to know too. I was like, you don't shake my hand. You don't look me dead in this gray, milky eye and then say, we're just three guys. And then say this, the exact words, by the way. We're just three guys living here.

Let me know if you ever need anything. And then the gleam in the eyes like twinkles like Amber Atkins. No, no, no, no, no, no, not drugs. I swear to God, that's what I thought. I thought it was drugs. And I was like, ew, I was like, yikes, dangerous. Stranger danger. But also, like, it wasn't like a,

oh, come over here and do drugs thing. It was like, if you ever need to get weeded out or whatever. I don't know, read it out. The other thing, people are like, when I was, when I was, I haven't been single in years now, but when I, I don't want to make this sound like it was yesterday. But when the guys, I'm like, just want to come over in 420? I'm like, 420. Come over. Come over.

Come over and smoke weed on the couch with a stranger. And then maybe what? Get felt up when I'm evaporated. Thank you. That's fucking crazy. These titties? This heat, this neck. This neck.

It also makes me think of guys who are like, you want to exchange photos. But then when I get there, you want some kind of, it's going to be dark when you walk in. Then why? We all know what each other looks like. So what are we doing? Dracula. We're doing Dracula sex. Yeah. Castlevania. Castlevania. I've been reading some really great books.

I got, I went to, yeah, I am. I love Tom Hanks. And I went to, I went to this guy's incredible art sale, studio sale, Andrew's friend, Mikeo's incredible artist. Oh my God, I got the most insane art. Crazy shit. You're going to love it. Like crazy shit for so, like. Are you going to put in your house? I'm going to put in my house, but I'm going to bring some to the studio. I was going to say you could put some in here. I mean, oh, oh, shit. Absolutely. Well, some of it would be. be distracting

because it's a bare ass, a little pornish. Bornish? Pornish. A little pornography-ish. Oh. Poignography. It's fine. You can't define pornography. It's different for everybody. It's nudity. Tracy's a lesbian. Is it a guy butt? Yeah, it's a guy buddy. She can give up. You care?

Tracy doesn't care. Permission to put a nude butt. And Nick sees so many butts. It's true. He don't care. But you know, I also want to... Guess what I asked him to do last week. And this is okay. This is okay. Nick, don't worry about this. But I asked him, I was like, I asked our director point blank if he knew anybody I could have sex with. And I realize that that is me not the most appropriate. What day was this? Last week.

I love Tom Hanks. And so I asked him, I was like, do you know about Grindr? There's guys on there who want up sex. Which one is that? Yeah. How come Grindr, does Grindr gave you an extra, a subscription for a high profile? The $99 a year one? I don't give me anything.

Girl, can I say I love all of you? It's not even about being a whore. It's about being a cheap slut. I don't care if you think I'm uppity. I don't care if you think I'm rich. you would have never caught me out there with the free grinder. Oh, what is that even? You would have never caught me out here.

Oh, wait, refrigerated. You would have never caught me out with the free grinder. Because ads? Oh, shit, right. Scrolling up and seeing four people who live on the block, I need to be able to go look in Pomona in case things get dire. You got to listen to a whole Madonna album before you get another photo? Yeah, no, I know.

I know you want you a cocksick, but it's Madonna, like, love. This is Charlie X3X. I know you're looking to get fisted tonight. Yeah. But I need to listen to me album. It goes like Bott-Lott-D-D-D-Doo. Before you get your pussy-blown-out.

Here's my song called Pussy Get It Blown Out. Hey, guys, this is Taylor Swift coming to your life from Nashville, Alabama. And I just want to let you know before you get that woodwork sucked on the dick, dick, dick, and your big old ass-ass-ass, me and Nick Nick-Dick in your big old ass-ass. Oh, da-Hool-U-L-U-L-Jas.

Yeah. High-gays, it's Rihanna. I don't have any more music. But I got these fenty panties. Yeah. Fenty panty. It's a... Yes, girl.

Yes, Tina. And I don't work for Grindr, you do. I do. I feel like no ads. What are the other things? Disappearing photos. Yeah, Tom Hanks. There was a lot of things about it.

There's a lot of Tom Hanks. I think are worth the money. Yeah, of course. I mean, the proof is in the pudding, the devil's in the details. The only thing we do know about Grindr is that you are going to get late at some point. But I want to suggest that maybe it is our director's fault for not providing me a behind the scenes kind of introduction to some man that he has been vetted before with his own two eyes.

You think he only uses eyes to vet these people? Thank you. Feel them up. Tootsie. It's like when you put the thing in and wipe it off on the car? Oil. Oil. He dips the oil.

He checks the oil. Yeah. Well, that's awful. I try. No, no, it's okay. That's disgusting. Nick can say it's okay. Painting.

Painting. Painting. I'll allow it. Thank you, Judge. I went to the Armenian car shop to get my car looked at. The oil changed and the tires reeligned. What? Did you do it too?

Did you do it? and then I have a story go. Okay. So I went in there and first of all, there's a sign that says, I'm not screaming. I'm Armenian. Love it. Love.

Is that the vibe? Yeah. Oh, the vibe is, like the vibe is so, period. T. So. Listen, as I get older and lose my hearing as a DJ, I'm going to get more and more Armenian friends.

Thank you. Because I'm going to hear them. Crystal clear. Yeah, crystal clear. They're screaming. They're loving. They're laughing. It's brother, brother, brother.

I love it, love it. They don't take me to the cleaners because they're right down the street. That's my, that's my brother. It's my sister in drag. And I was like, I was like, you know, I think I know enough about myself and about the world, about geography, history, politics and everything, about sexuality, human masculinity, et cetera, et cetera, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, to not ask these men. What about pottery? Pottery. Pottery. Thank you.

And I'm not going to ask, but I'm just going to be friendly with these guys, get to know them, getting know all about them, getting to like them, getting the whole day, fix my car. And so I stopped myself right before they would have started screaming at me in a different tone in a different way. right before I was about to say, hey, I noticed you guys were super hot and masculine. And I noticed that you probably have a different relationship to masculinity since you've left Armenia, Yerevan. Sorry, that's Georgia. Armenia. Anyways, whatever. Since you left the mainland, right, and came to America, I know you probably have a different relationship to masculinity, perhaps,

and you probably have wives or girlfriends. But, you know, for whatever it's worth and not for nothing, of course, I would suck the huge hard cock right off of each and every one of your single bodies. blast your genitals through your scrotum sack and blaspheme your Holy Spirit until the cows came home and we'd just blame it on Diane Lane, Diane Von Furstenberg Diana Rig Sandy Bullock and Nicole Kitty Kitty Man

Tom Cruise I love Tommy So you didn't say these things? I came this close I was on the razor's out of you because Thank you I still hadn't paid for the car yet It's 2026 we gotta let people be comfortable Yeah yeah yeah no we don't have to say everything

No we don't have to say everything But I have to what I prefer to say what's on my mind I prefer to live in my truth and I prefer to drive it down to Beavritra L'Ritchie Blahard. Okay, so I wanted to go to the store. Oh, girl, wait, I just got it safe. You know, ever since I came in this pod studio,

I noticed your outfit and I say, I love it when you're pink and purple because it really turns me on. I really have a hard time with purple. I really don't like purple. I think it looks great on you. Thank you. This is from the Powerpuff Girls' Cakeworthy collection.

They sent it to me. It's snakeworthy. It really gets my chance. I'm all snarky and barking. Yes. Wow. Yeah. I was in...

45 minutes left, Tootsy. That's how much we have left, right? Yeah, 45. I've been doing my adult online education, you know? Are you for real? Yeah. Get out of here. What are you studying?

I told you about this. Well, tell me again. We're on the pod. I'm studying deeper dance music production. Deeper and deeper. Deeper dance music production skills. Okay. Learning a lot.

Yeah. And so I've been getting into a lot of new... You got such a musical mind. You know... You got such a musical mind. Honey. To see. It's almost a waste to be here.

I should go. You should get out of here. You've got such a musical mind. I always laugh when like, obviously like Prince, Dali Part and whoever, they always are like, oh,

their people, their team, their lore is like, they would write like 30 songs a day. That's not true. And I would be like, I believe you're brilliant. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're not fixing Armenian cars. Gail, like, like, Gale King does it go to space every day. Right,

thank you. Thank you. Yeah. I don't know if that makes sense. It really turned me on. So I would, I went to downtown Los Angeles and went to a place called Hollywood DJ. And I haven't been there because it's like 30 minutes from my house.

But I was like, you know what? They have this equipment that I want. I wanted this teenage engineering product, this little OP one, like little. Like I love music things where you can make music away from your computer. Yeah. Right. So I wanted to buy that. Treat myself.

It was my birthday. Don't yell at me. So I go down there. So I've never been to this area of Los Angeles. How much piss was there? It's not about piss because I'm from Hollywood. Oh, duh. The piss capital of the world.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm not afraid of blood. I'm not afraid of unhouse people. I'm not afraid of nudity. No. Public sex.

I've seen everything over in Hollywood. And I'm not shocked. It's my community. I walk through like a beautiful day in the neighborhood. I live large. Mr. Rogel's. Yes. But this on this street, there was a lot of car detailing and window tinting services.

So what I didn't know is that that means that it's very, um, Hey, big spender. They walk right up to the car. But I didn't know this. So people come right up to the car. Like, wash your windows. No, holding a role of that stuff they tint the windows with.

And I know what it was. And they weren't, I'm not in Spanish. Well, they don't speak English and I don't speak Spanish. Right. So I'm just like, DJ store. DJ store. And they pointed. Oh, great.

But I didn't know. So once you say no to one person, every single place has a barker. Someone outside coming up knocking on the window. I think it's fierce. And I'm not going to tint the windows on the Volvo. No. Look like a mother with a secret. Maddie's secret.

Yeah, Maddie's secret. Maddie's secret. I just wish I would have known. Yeah. But I guess I drove down a street with all window tinting in a car with not tinted windows. I got you. So it's kind of like, what were you wearing? Was she drinking?

Yeah. I kind of was asking for it. Was she picking out on something stinky? Right. Yeah. But because I didn't know where I was, I was so confused because it looked to me like a street fair. Yeah. There was music.

There was tents. And so I was like, can I drive through here? Is there like a thing going on? Can I go over there? And nobody could understand each other. And I didn't get my windows tinted. But you did sell candy at the airport. And Meredith Vieira.

I am selling candy at my kiosk at the airport. That's just what we've heard. That's just what we've heard. But do you think I should get my windows tinted? Do you get the windshield tinted? No, no, no, no. That's crazy, right? Yeah, you don't have to get your windows tinted.

You don't have to get your windows tinted. But you do get those 16-inch rim sitting crazy love. But I think the back seats of my car are tinted. Okay. Because it isn't illegal to have tinted front windows? Well, you don't need tinting. You don't need any tinting. What are you doing in there that's so unseeable?

Jerking it. Jorking it? Are you drinking the pinninas? Are you drunken the pinninas? Anyway, it was kind of a comedy of errors because it isn't in where neighborhood I was in. Didn't know that this was one DJ store on a whole street of window tinting services. So I was like, this is weird. But the truth is, it's weird that I drove down that street without tents.

And that's kind of a fun story I wanted to share. And I kind of thought the reaction would be bigger. But we could go. I love Tom Hanks. Listen, I love Tom Hanks. Listen to me to us. We don't have to stay. Shut up.

Shut up. I need to tell you something that is so important. You're going to die. What is it? I have been, since my brain has been actively trying to repair itself from certain dangers that may have may have happened. Certain dangers, certain things that may or may not transpired. Mercury. Thank you.

Retrograd day. Retrogradee. I have, my language acquisition and retention skills have been through the roof. Now, I know you got a musical mind. But it's, it's, it's, I'morexious, which is great. Honey, I will podcast. So what languages are we taking on now?

I, um, so. Oh, yeah, because you said you were going to the Russian meetings. Yes. So Russian is better than ever, just in time for nobody to want to speak it anymore. Russian's doing better than ever. Yeah. Russia is doing better than ever. She's, she's been struggling. Russian in general is doing so good right now.

My Russian is up three points. Is that the tattoo shop the entire day? I gotta save this for the next episode. Was that the tattoo shop? Didn't you get a leg tattoo? I did, I got two. Can we see it? No, because it's not done.

I'll give you the speech. I'll give you the whole show. I got five tattoos. I got five tattoos. I spent the entire two days terrorizing this tattoo shop. It was so fierce. Run by a Russian woman named Sasha.

Can I just say, how come you're not allowed to have a drink before you get a tattoo? but you can go in there get five tattoos and no wellness check. What the fuck is going on? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Do you got money?

They'll just tattoo anything on anything. Absolutely. Oh, well, also. you can just get anything taken off these days. It's a whole different world. Eating disorder? Eating disorder. What if I've just been baking the whole time?

Well, these were sent to us. These are behave three grams of sugar. It's like we're saving money. It's like we're saving money. You want to try. No. You're gonna be mad. I'm gonna be mad.

If it's not full sugar, I think we're putting on the pot, it's probably not good. I was listening. Most smartest. Okay. So I terrorize this whole fuck. These two TikTokers come in.

You're gonna fucking die. You're going to fucking die. You're going to fucking die. So I would love to. I'm doing a floor show. I am doing the full English. Spread Eagle, split,

screaming, screaming. Everybody's laughing except these two TikTokers, these two young guys who are, they come in with their phone screens, pressed into their face and they're like this. They can't be other TikTokers. Well, I just assume they're TikTokers.

They're like 25. Right. So anyways, one has the perm, the TikTok perm. There's got a flash mob in the front of his face that goes down to here, like Kelly Mantle. And I say,

they're talking about strippers about making it rain on the strippers. And I was like, I was like, I'm going to throw them a curveball here. I was like, have you ever seen this stripper? And I show him a picture of me on the beach with a knife and drag as Katia. And like, they're like, oh wait, that's a trans. That trans what? That trans dancer. And I quote, that's that trans dancer.

Oh, shit. And I was like, that what? That trans dancer. And he's like, yeah, right? And that trans dancer. I wouldn't say dancer. Thank you. If I was there, I would have said dancer.

Two left feet. Are you kidding me? Huffing paint on the dance floor? That red neck and a bum hip. And I'm not going to give you trans either. Thank you. Yeah. Trans dancer.

And I quote, isn't that that trans dancer? I said, it's me. They're like, we knew it. We knew it. Ow. We knew it. What were you wearing? You were dressed the same.

You forgot to say that with no makeup on the same outfit, no makeup. With my asshole out. You sent me a video of you getting the tattoo and you're kind of like, I don't want to be. pornographic, but you're kind of like... Yeah, Sprite Eagle. That's when I was really letting him have it. What's that about? I was showing my, just airing my pusswaro. I also got, one of them I was,

they did a handstands after, they were really catching the fever. They really caught the fever from me. You're doing handstands with the TikTokers? No, I was doing handstands with the tattoo artists. And then when I left, I went home, they were doing handstands against the wall, falling over, sending me videos. It was a real riot. It was real great. Type shit, type shit.

Yeah, King shit. Yeah, yeah. I've been trying to say type shit. What does that mean? It's like a thing young people say that's like, type shit. It's like, yeah. It's like yo MTV Raps. Type shit.

Oh, I love that. Yeah, I just kind of like trying different stuff. Well, listen. We got to evolve as people. The more things change, the more they stay the same. We watched Harry Jousey say clock it like this. What do you think about that? I think it's flagrantly abusive, but I'm also like, hey, I would love a Mary show too.

Girl, I watch the, I like to watch it that episode. I forgot that he spits in her mouth. in her mouth, but can I just say, and if you haven't watched it already, you look... I look big. No, you look transcendent. I watched the first time minutes with Jennifer Nightingale the other night in my home. Yeah.

While we ate Thai food, food from Thailand. And I could not stop screaming at her about how good you looked. You looked so good. That gorgeous, like, lime, like, lime shadow. That incredible hair, the beautiful lip, that cool dress, the eyeball, the love the shape, those orange tights. I was jerking it. I was...

I've gotten weirdly lazy with the makeup. I was severing my clitoris, squeezing out the juice. Well, you know those play pigments? We have those, like, paints. I'll just pick one of those and do the whole eye one color. P&P. And that's it. P&P.

So that's just the green. Let's go ahead. P&P. And you don't have to powder. No fall out. No P&P. Well, no chem sex tonight, guys. Oh, I just, Tracy just splashes us a note that says, let's wrap up.

Yeah. Well, so you know what I've been doing? This is corny. Kill me, or not. I don't care. When I talk to my family members, like my cousins, my aunts and stuff on the phone, I say, all right, this is how we're going to end the conversation because I don't like abrupt conversation.

Conversation ends. I don't like, oh, we got to go. Bye. As I say, on the count of three, we're going to say, I love you. So one, two, three, I love you. I love you.