The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Theme Park Phobias & Home Decor Tips with Brittany Broski and Trixie

Episode Date: September 26, 2023

Everyone's favorite human Brittany Broski joins Trixie for a heart-to-heart about irrational fears of yetis, the natural beauty of Marty Feldman, and in-depth reviews of every roller coaster in Southern California. Follow Brittany: @Brittany_Broski Watch Broski's Royal Court: https://www.youtube.com/@Brittany_Broski Start building your credit up. Open a Chime Checking account with at least a $200 qualifying direct deposit. To get started head to Chime.com/BALD or click this link: https://www.chime.com/apply-debit/?ad=podcast_bald Get Factor and enjoy eating well without the hassle! Head to https://FactorMeals.com/BALD50 and use code BALD50 to get 50% off! This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp Therapy Online. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/BALD today to get 10% off your first month! Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Bitch, this like Barbie Dreamhouse sparkly wristband. I love it. Yeah, well, it's like the exercise climbing adventure watch. So all the straps were like green canvas. And I was like. No, they love stone. Yeah, stone. Gray stone.

Pebble. That's not white. That's pebble. Sand. Yeah. So then I went on Amazon and went. Oh, I shouldn't say Amazon. Whatever.

Why? I know we're not supposed to support big stores. And that's a big store. So I don't know. I live in fear. You obviously don't have fans that cancel you. Oh, I do. Trust. Trust. They do. By the way, we're here with

Dog the Bounty Hunter today. The lovely second alternate called Absolute Last Minute. I know. When one of my insane blonde friends has COVID, I call the other one. You know, I almost was like, give me a short ugly wig. I can cosplay as Katya. You know we have we have them oh we know you have them girl you want a short ugly wig we're gonna

take your extensions that would just be six pieces of brown hair under this fucking extensions i forgot what i was just saying it doesn't matter we have britney in the studio today can you believe it i we have a monitor here and lately I tend to look at the monitor like it's camera one. I don't know what that is. I also love, that's your camera. I love to.

Yeah, you do love to do that. Make an appearance. Do it. It feels freeing. I'm going to do that too. I'm going to sit like this actually for the rest of the episode.

But then you have to see the back of my head so I'm actually not going to do that. Or like when Katya says something I don't think is true, I'm like.

And her shot is crazy. Yeah, I just pop right in. Katya has COVID and I called the most capable hilarious beautiful fun person that i knew at a last minute if i have to do it well with katya there's a certain amount of trust where we can go in unprepared and with you i also feel that trust i do feel that yeah say it's so southern i'll feel that i'll feel that trust. I do feel that. Yeah. Why'd you say it so Southern? I feel that. I feel that trust. I feel that trust in there tonight. I feel that trust in the Lord. Can we talk about the elephant in the room?

The mermaid hair. Thank you so much. You want to know something? I went to see Mrs. Beyonce Giselle Carter-Knowles. Two nights ago. Yep. I went Saturday and Monday, and I had a professional hairstylist do my hair. So this is just that from two days ago.

Still clipped? Clipped? Tape ends. Wow. Those last? They do. a professional hairstylist do my hair so this is just that from two days ago still clipped clipped uh tape ends wow those last they do i get them moved up every like six weeks yeah really riveting stuff i get them moved up every six weeks and they like touch up my highlights too and you could never tell that this isn't growing out of my head you could never tell unless i turn around you see the back of my head have you ever had them in the taking them out and do you get like phantom limb syndrome i do i like find myself doing this and i'm like there's no hair there like it's all falling out oh literally no bitch when he takes them out and i it's like uh what's you know that scene from

narcos the like screenshot of pablo escobar standing in the pool just like like contemplating his life that's when he takes my extensions out i look in the mirror like fuck me because they're just pulling out my hair you know but it's like you have to add the hair to be able to pull out the hair and it's so heavy and my hair is so thin and he takes it out and i'm like this is the real you bitch i know under the mask you are quite the beauty though you really are you want me so bad no you are you are you know britney is one of those people that she's very comfortable being in the world outside of her drag and not all women feel that way well well because here's the thing this welcome to my face here's the thing this is my fucking face bitch i know you know like there's no peace with it

what else am i supposed to do you know what i saw your tip by the way if you don't follow britney's tiktok it's really amazing she is the queen of tiktok and the other day you posted one where someone said you looked like the actor from um young frankenstein you could say it marty feldman said marty feldman let me just check on this and you looked up the picture of marty feldman who by the way is wall-eyed two eyes looking in completely different directions put it nicely wall-eyed wall-eyed which is fine i i i think we need to talk more about people having, not everyone's eyes both look in the same direction.

You know what? And it's fine. And that's a privilege to have your eyes look in the same direction. It's fine. I'm not a shallow person. If your eyes don't look in the same direction, I still see you.

Right. That's not how I meant it. I see you and you're valid. That's not how I meant it. I see you and you see someone else too. That's not how I meant it. I really meant it you see someone else too. That's not how I meant it. I really meant it like I see you. Fine.

And you see everything. Try to do something nice on the channel. No, being wall-eyed I think is a secret superpower. 100%. By the way, a lot of people can be wall-eyed on accident. Courtney Act, chime in, Courtney, if you're here. She has the ability to become wall-eyed. She says sometimes if she looks at her iPhone too close, her eyes will go like this i can do that too but you know it was a jarring realization

for me to have my followers point out just sort of sitting your eyes go two different ways and i was like that is crazy you're like why aren't they ever like you know who you look like sophia loren like why is it never that why is it the yellow eminem because they love to see me suffer they really do how do you think i feel i've lost let's see i'm 100 i lost like 25 pounds and it's one thing to be like you look great it's nothing to be like i used to look at you and throw up and lately i just want to throw up exactly Exactly. So good for you. No, exactly. It's like, you know, I used to not think you were human. And, you know, in full drag with your extensions and lashes, makeup professionally done.

Yeah, bitch. You might pass for a man, a human man. Yes! And you're like, thank you. It really is jarring too. And like, I'm trying to, you know, not to get too serious for a second, but like, I kind of have brought it upon myself to show that doing this, you know, like we're funny people naturally. That's kind of how I am. That's a part of me always.

But there's so many other things. And I want to be able to show that and have a space where people are like, okay, I can't take you seriously when you da da da. You know, it's like, if you think this is how we are all the time, you're smoking crack. Like, that's not real. No, when you and I

get together off camera, we talk a lot of, like, real life stuff. Yeah, and it's so nice. Goals, dreams. We talk about things like self-doubt, friendships.

Like, we get deep right away. So, are you talking about me or someone else? I said friendship. Let's take a break. Six minutes in. We made it six minutes before you pissed me off bitch have you seen that tiktok it's like four seconds you took four fucking seconds for you to piss me off you see that it's like this kid in high school who like rears up and he goes four seconds i haven't seen roll the clip four fucking seconds he took you four fucking seconds to piss me off again

remember when you did a TikTok pod I did oh my god you did a TikTok podcast the official TikTok podcast yeah and girl no one listened to it well it's hard I mean podcasting is hard because it's a very saturated thing yep Kati and I luckily I don't know what we do

right here but we just try not to overthink it we just try to keep doing that's the beauty it's the magic of just listening to two friends talk and y'all are like mentally i would say not all there or well so that definitely helps the sort of dynamic the kicker is over time she's become the stable one that's like as one supreme grows stronger the other one goes weaker like she used to be like, she was eight years older than me. And she was like more famous than me. But so crazy. And so up and down in her life that I was always like, I'm the young ambitious one who keeps us on the rails.

And she's like the wild one. And now I'm like, she's a homeowner who's sober, who just wants to like watch movies. Wild. And now I'm like like could we carve out some time to cry today you know she's like are you calling me to cry again like so she's the normal one and i'm the crazy one she's the supreme i guess the fucking the she's the taco taco supreme exactly i was gonna say the supreme and today's special guest is jessica lang i would could you imagine she walked in and said get the

hell out of my chair you bald faggot i would you would get up you'd say sorry i thought you were talking to me wait i'm so sorry actually oh my god oh my god i was with juno birch friend of friend of you friend of me of course i was with juno birch we were at a drag show and the person on the microphone went juno was in like a little jacket with like a little, you know, like a 2000s Fergie, like newsboy hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a big baggy Fergie hat. I don't know what to call it.

And the person on the microphone goes, that man over there. And she's pointing at me. And Juno goes, I was like, she's obviously pointing at me, not you. But I think somebody could walk up and say, move you bald faggot. And you would go, received, heard it. Yeah, I would say, I'm sorry I was in the way in the way yeah yeah so what have you been up to gal girl well i'm doing my show which um listen and we need to just put it out there into the universe i've been saving you you don't know this and your team doesn't know either as the special guest at the

end for my medieval talk show it's been like it's so funny because i feel like i haven't even talked to you about this but everyone on my team i'm like okay so trixie's gonna be like one of the last episodes of the season so we can lock that in i haven't mentioned it by the way which is how i booked this yesterday can you come in tomorrow on my way yeah and then i think you text are you gonna be in hair and makeup did you text me that um when yesterday sorry i just haven't i have an apple watch is that the pizza delivery coming can i tell you this is my third or fourth apple watch i break them and lose them they you have to plug them in at night and i leave them in hotels and then they and then when i leave and call they can't find them oh of course

or i smash them but this one's supposed to be like titanium so it's supposed to be unkillable i called sia and i checked yeah you called the pitch perfectkillable i called sia and i checked yeah you called the pitch perfect cast yeah i called sia and i checked up on her so what was that great i just talked to her recently actually she um she's she's a vibe what was that oh oh oh sia it was work work um work texts about something you and i just filmed together oh gorgeous gorgeous with so much fun britney and i just did something cool coming up so i've been seeing so many clips on those uh your medieval talk show yeah it makes the rounds on tiktok and i'm so like because this has been my kind of baby for a long time like because it takes so long to produce i'm completely self

funding this show we have no one backing it it's living on my youtube channel because i wanted this to kind of be like my chicken shop date my hot ones like this is my show that celebrities come on and orville was the first guest of course of course the way we use and abuse him bitch girl the way i call him in for any sort of heterosexual credibility because cool people i don't have it celebrities like him fashion people like him exactly I don't have it. Celebrities like him. Fashion people like him. Exactly. Meanwhile, you and I are like, hey, will you come dumpster dive in our show? Please. I know you're at Fashion Week. I know you're at the Grammys.

No, it's so- Can you come eat shit with me? It's so humbling to ask him to. I know. Literally, I'm like, I know you're at the like, what the fuck was he? I saw him at the Christian Cowan show in New York. And I was like, I know you're literally walking the runway. Oh, I know. But could you come film this in this back alley studio in Hollywood?

Yeah. Also, I have no money to pay you and there's no dressing room. And he's like, fucking guess. It's a new day. How can you make the most of it with your membership rewards points? Earn points on everyday purchases. Use them for that long-awaited vacation. You can earn points almost anywhere, and they never expire.

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so you can let your potential shine. Turn on confidence. Turn on connections. Turn on possibilities. There are hundreds of programs and services available at the Y. See what you can achieve at ymcagta.org. So what happens on your medieval show? Tell the children about it. It's so great. Well, thank you so much. You've never seen an episode. That's not true.

I watched the Drew episode. Oh my God. That's so nice. You and Drew get together. I'm watching it. And that's actually so true. Drew is one of the funniest people I've ever met. And I know it's not relevant.

Gorgeous. Gorgeous. She knows how to put her fucking hair and makeup on, bitch. And she knows that sometimes, yeah, she can be wall-eyed. And she just kind of knocks it back into place. Well, she sort of has the reverse. Well, you guys both have this experience where you became known to people in a very, like, t-shirt-at-home casual way.

And then we turn it out, bitch. So then when people see you glammed up, they're like, Yup, yup, yup. So you guys have a nice situation because you weren't presented as porn stars but you have the ability exactly i could drop that only fans league at any time and make probably like 20 bucks a month at least honey at least can i tell you 90 of people on only fans i believe are the statistic make under 750 a month i think 750 dollars that's crazy so when people say top one percent it's like 90 still

don't make right it's not livable right which is fine and if by the way if you want to have sex on the internet and not have it be your primary income that's also fine right we need to move toward a world where people can truly do porn in their house and then be a school teacher the next day like let people live their personal life is their personal life. This is Joe Biden's America. This is the future of everyone. I'm saying woke liberals. Well, I don't know.

Like I feel when I have friends who have private Instagrams, I'm like, why? They're like, oh, because I'm a school teacher. And I'm like, oh, when you have certain jobs, it does. You don't want people to know what you did that weekend or whatever. Yeah. Or maybe you just don't want people you work with to know that much about you, which is also fine. And that's honestly, hey, I got fired because people

knew too much about me. So that's true. What can you do? And you've been fired like 17, 18 times. A million times. I've been fired a million times. That's so heartwarming though. Cause like getting fired is so humbling. But like when someone you look up to has also gone through that, it's like period bitch. Pre being Trixie full time. I was fired four different times. And four different jobs. That's wild. Four different times majorly. And cried.

Of course. What's funny is now my reputation in the world is. You're like the hardest working person. You have ten careers. Oh how the turntables bitch. How do you just. And I'm like. Well why don't you tell that to everyone who ever fired me.

Why don't you tell that to Mr. Ulta. Yeah. But to be honest. I didn't ever gel with like. If you're going to work at Macy's. If you i didn't ever gel with like if you're gonna work at macy's uh if you clock in three minutes late three uh two times in a row you're automatically terminated i'm like what are we doing here yeah girl i used to go no no no i used to work at an insurance agency and i hated it and was miserable and wanted to die i would do uh because you have

two like state mandated breaks you have to take a day for 15 minutes like during the day at any time i would milk that shit i'd go to the bathroom and i would take like 25 minute shit breaks because that's my me time at one point someone came into the women's bathroom knocked on the stall and said britney shut up and i said i'm sitting there on my phone like uh-huh she goes you're 10 minutes over your break. You need to get back to the desk. I said, I'm going to put a bullet in my skull. What about that? Have you thought about that?

I literally went back to my desk and I was like, I'm like on my secret little incognito window looking up jobs. On the clock. On the flip side, too many people overly abuse things like that, which is why companies have to make laws like that. Because we all work with that one bitch who is no less than 15 minutes late every time. And I am not a late person. So I'm like, girl, what's going on there? You know where you live. And you know where you work.

And you know how much time it takes. So what's going on? You're abusing it. You're abusing it. And that way, when you are late, you can walk into work guilt-free because that's not you everyone knows like oh you're never late it's fine exactly if everyone else if you're 15 minutes late every day that means you're getting an hour of work a week with a starbucks in your hand and a fresh blowout sorry traffic it's like or they walk in traffic, and their nails are still drying.

Exactly. Sorry, can you get that for me? When I worked at MAC, it was hard because you would have to have like, you have to wear like a minimum of two lip products, three eye products, skin products. You have to have the perfume on that the store sells. And you have your nails painted with a lacquer that MAC sells. Oh my God. And if, you know, like knowing it's like, oh, I'm supposed to clock in at noon and my

nails aren't done. It'd be like 1158. I'm like. Shaking. Yeah. It's all over your skin. Yeah. Still fired though.

How did you cry when you got fired? Oh, bald. Me too. Yeah. It's something. It's a little bit like getting pulled over for me where it doesn't matter what it is. I'm crying. Yeah.

Cause what did I do wrong. I'm crying. Yeah. Because what did I do wrong? I'm sorry. Yeah. I don't like. I know I'm supposed to be like a drag queen and be like, fuck the rules. Fuck the noise. Be your. I like.

I don't like breaking rules. I'm scared of getting in trouble. Me too. I'm scared of like. My worst nightmare is that I like take one too many items into a dressing room. You know? And I'm like, oh, God. They know I'm in You know? And I'm like, Oh God, they know I'm in here.

Fuck. They're like, or TSA. I'm always like, there's a bomb in my bag. And I forgot I put it in there. Girl, the T is,

the other T is when they swap your, they take that little tissue and swap your hands. You're like, they know. I said, what are you doing? And they go, well,

check in for explosives. I said, this is a hand. This is an empty hand. You think this is a stick of dynamite, bitch? Yeah, bitch. What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

We have to rethink TSA. I think TSA employees. TSA needs to go to the red table with Jada. We need to condense and rethink every strategize. I'm sorry. That shit's not keeping me safe. It's not. It's not.

It's not. You're turning me into the villain. A hundred percent. I think that we have demonized the TSA employees so much that they don't care if we live or die now. And they're actually just trying to help us. Their job is to keep us safe. Because she yelled at me and now I'm going to cry. And then Their job is to keep us safe. And I don't care, because she yelled at me,

and now I'm going to cry. And then every country has their own different ones. Right. And then, do you have TSA pre-check? Mm-hmm. You can't not have pre-check, honey. You can't not have pre-check. Imagine waiting in line for an hour and a half at LAX.

David Silver still doesn't have pre-check, and we'll fly somewhere together, and I'm like, baby, I love you. I'm not going in that general line with you. I'll see you on the other side, babe. I hope you make it. Why would he do that to you? I'm like, I hope you make it.

Literally. I hope you dance. I hope you dance. Leanne Womack. Where is she? Bring her out. You know, we're watching. Have you ever watched Love is Blind?

No, I have not. You got to watch it. It's bad. And that's the thing is like, I don't want to watch bad television. You do. There's a straight guy and he's like, my favorite song is I Hope You Dance by Leigh-Anne Womack. And I was like, I felt strings like a puppet to God, like levitate me to the sky. A straight guy whose favorite song is I Hope You Dance by Leigh-Anne Womack, bitch.

Are you at homecoming in 2004 what are you talking about oh my god i can't take it no there's this thing on tiktok that's um when a guy has clearly been with a straight woman who's like kind of fixed him a little bit and then they break up and then he's kind of out in the world by himself there's this sound on tiktok that says someone cooked here and it's that where it's like if he's listening to leanne womack there's another one that said um a guy went on a date with a girl and they were trying to pick out outfits to wear together and he was like is this a standing up jeans or a sitting down jeans kind of night she goes someone cooked here i don't how do you know what that is is this a sitting

down or standing up jeans that's a girl thing of like am i gonna be like are the jeans gonna suck me in while i'm standing up or are we gonna be at dinner where like i need to have some wiggle room are we eating women's pants sit a little higher yes and they cut into your gut where you can't breathe so it's like are they sitting down or standing up jeans girl that's real that's crazy very real yeah that's also but that's drag that That is drag. Because I have my outfits for like Netflix where we sit on a chair this low. Exactly.

And I'm like, well, I can't wear a steel bone corset. And if I am, I can only do one episode like that. So usually for those, it'll be like flowy, 60s. Yep. But like if it's something where I'm going to get photographed standing up, I'm like, well, then we need to do the pigging. Exactly. Jesus Christ calls it the pigging.

Putting on your body and your corset. She's like, it's time for the pigging. The pig christ calls it the pigging putting on your body and your corset she's like it's time for the pigging the pig is cleaning the pig is cleaning you know people say that david and i are miss piggy and uh germant but we are but i'm hermit he's miss piggy are you kidding me that is really true he's at home right now on the couch hungover watching real housewives of Salt Lake City while I'm here at work. While you're putting bread on the motherfucking table. Yeah.

I'm going to get home and he's going to be like, Gourmet. And I'm going to be like, are you hungry? You know, like that's true. He walks into the room like this. Yes. I'm like, I know I'm playing a fucking banjo. Like he's the one entering the room like, here I am. Oh my God. Girl girl you just moved you sent

me some videos of your new home how's it going oh my god bitch well i actually facetimed you the other day because i'm having a time decorating my domicile right um because i want it to be this like western hacienda fantasy of this sort of mixture of um i love like fresh maybe i like this like spanish tile mixed with like a very western cowboy i don't want the southwestern that kind of tends to lean very breaking bad yes and also like grandma i'm not native you know and a lot of that is it's stealing native patterns and and and tribal prints and things like that and i'm like that's not it doesn't sit right on my spirit no that's that's true avoiding that has been a kind of task but i really love the cowhide and the leather and the

upholstered and all that and so i called you because i had a question about a cowhide rug mixed with cowhide seats this is rich people stuff no it isn't decorating your own home is not rich people stuff well yeah but it's more people should feel empowered to do that like people sit in a house they don't love and they think the barrier is money but so many things are not paint thrifting so many things can transform a space without it's true it's true it's just like furnishing my own space for the first time ever it's like i've never had to think about this like this because i've never had the money to do it i know like there are thrifty ways to do it but when it comes to furnishing you know like we're doing antiquing and thrifting and stuff like that but in los angeles girl for by the way anything anything

old in los angeles that's worth a damn is actually three times more than something new exactly everything antique here is so expensive. I found this beautiful sideboard at this antique shop in Agora that probably new or on an antique site would have been about $4,000. I got it for $350. Work, honey. Are you good at haggling? Not really because I'm a people pleaser. If they're like, this is $6,000, I'm like, you got it?

You want $7,000? You want more? Do you want me to hurt myself? Should I leave? Are you mad at me? Totally. Now in conflict, I think you're probably the same way where I would always rather apologize and say it was my fault to make the fight over. Always. Which is, I don't think long-term good because my instinct during a fight or something is always,

it's my fault. I did this. But if it smooths over the conflict, without giving that person an ego of like, yeah, she did me wrong. Then it's like my desire to feel right. My desire for someone to go, you were right.

It's not very strong. My desire for the fight to be over is very strong. Period. A peacekeeper. Yeah. Do you know your personality type? Old? No.

Gay. Bald. Okay. a peacekeeper yeah do you know your personality type old no um gay bald okay is there any other adjectives we can think of no are you talking about like tmj4 whatever they call it it's like it's like espn right it's it's like an it's like a letter thing well isn't in la isn't just personality type just zodiac pretty much basically but no this is like yeah espn what are you i'm enfj what does that mean it's basically i we're very similar but i know the girls in the comments are gonna clock us like no it's not enfj enfj extra extra neurotic. Fuckable. Fuckable. Jugs. Yeah, 100%. I mean, that's me. Yep, that is you. Can I ask you a sex question?

Sure. Have you ever done titty fucking? No. Which is shocking because... Let's take a break. I'm kidding. Okay okay we're back that's actually so funny

we love to say let's take a break in the middle of a thought or when Katya's like oh that's when my my friend died I'm like let's take a break let's take a break

yeah so we're back with titty fucking you've never done it because no one wants to because you don't want to do the crunches like what's up because it seems athletic it's so it bitch sex is athletic i'm not trying to

do that i'm trying to lay there girl yeah just let it happen to you that's being in a long relationship sex does get more get it over with we're either being wilder or we're like um is there a way we can do this we're both on our backs and it can be over in three minutes. Can we buy a machine? What is AI doing for self-pleasure? Girl, it's so funny because I feel like at least in gay world, maybe straight guys are like this, but they're like, oh, when I get a hold of you, we're going to fuck for hours. I'm like, no, we're not.

You're going to pump and dump, bitch. Get out of my house. Also, I don't want that. Right. Do you think I want to fuck for 45 minutes? There's 24 hours in the day. Bitch, there's sweat pooling on my back thinking about fucking for 45 minutes. Yeah, 45 minutes. If we're not there in 45 minutes, we're not even attracted to each other.

Yeah, this is not going to work. You're not doing it right. If it's 45 minutes. That is crazy to each other. Yeah, this is not going to work. You're not doing it right. If it's 45 minutes. That is crazy to think about. Like, a Green Chef meal takes 30 minutes or less. And you're prepping the wrong ingredients. Thank you to the sponsor of today's video. Today's video is sponsored by Green Chef, a CCO of organic certified company with meal kits delivered to make people eat well.

Okay, memorization. Off book. off book. I'm a friend of Green Chef. Green Chef is one of those things where they have sponsored the show so many times and sponsored my YouTube channel that now when I have to do a Green Chef video, I don't even need to look at what they want me to say.

I know it from memory. You're like, give me the code, babe. Let's get it. I love Green Chef. Okay, period. Now that you live alone, are you more into cooking? Oh, I've always loved cooking you do yeah i made this um uh my best friend taylor referred to it as cajun mash the other night because i just kind of threw a bunch of shit together and it turned

into mash real quick now when i said are you into cooking i meant edible food i meant recipes to some it's edible wait have you ever seen that real housewives clip where she's like whatever happened to hello how are you my name is that's me looking at your cooking bitch whatever happened to salt whatever happened to bake the chicken no bitch i'll throw into a pot it's cajun mash oh my god because it's so i wanted so i started out i wanted to make have you ever had southern southern black eyed peas no southern black eyed peas or um garden peas or whatever they're called are uh uh you cook them with like a smoked turkey neck and like a bunch of chicken broth and like all these seasonings and whatever and fried okra and you put it all and it's good and it's sort of soupy but it's beans and it's um a tradition that we do on new year's where you eat it for like good luck in the

new year don't ask me i didn't come up with it everyone well my family's southern and it's a southern tradition okay so that's kind of how i learned how to make it but then i was like now what if i put on my science hat? I was like, what if? And I just started adding a bunch of shit. And by the end of it, it was delicious. But I was on the toilet for about three and a half hours afterwards. That's tough.

It was awful. Do you cook? Yeah. What do you cook? To be honest, and this is not an ad. When I started doing stuff for Green Chef like three years ago. You like it? I now can cook

i now can open anything and just i know how to prep every vegetable and do whatever because i've followed at least 100 recipes from there right and um but now i love cooking and when you live alone i was never that ambitious when i lived alone but being like living with david now when you everything every recipe is for more than one person. Absolutely. So now when you have somebody else to like, try to impress. It's nice. You are like,

I'm going to make this a good, because now it's not just me. I'll eat the shit out of a can. You know what I mean? I'll eat off the floor. I'll eat spam lukewarm on the counter. Yeah. But when you live with someone,

I do think it's more like, oh, well now I have to try to pull it together. Also living alone, you always have leftovers. And it's like, I don't want these. And then it's so wasteful. I do like, I've worked with HelloFresh, which is a competitor.

Right. But yeah, I like it. You know, it's like, this is a serving size for one. I'm satiated. I'm not wasting food. It's a nice feeling. Yeah. And leftovers are turnt.

Now, I've never been somebody who thinks that far ahead. Because sometimes I've like a soup and it'll be like well you just freeze soup and then months later you can have it again i'm like yeah i think i'm gonna pull a block of fucking noodle soup out of my freezer i have standards it probably is better though because you know some things get better after they've been like refrigerated but what frozen for 17 months no no like if you make tomato sauce it's usually better like the day after. You know how some people say that? Yeah, because it has time to sit, marinate. It has time to sit.

Just like me. Sit and marinate. Sit and marinate. Well, listen, your new home, I saw pictures and videos of it. I think you're on the right track. When you're approaching decorating your little space now, do you have a plan? Are you just trying to look around the room and just like envision it's a lot of envisioning but it's also you know when you go antiquing stuff and this is all stuff i'm learning and it's it's been fun because i've never done this and

my mom really helped and it was fun so we went antiquing and she was like because the house is in 1920s there's no storage at all because people around that time had four dresses to their name. And they lived 12 years. And they died of a whooping cough at 24. They died in their outfit they were born in. It's one of those like baptism dresses. Christening dress. A hundred percent.

They die at 12. With seven kids. Girl, with the Spanish flu or whatever. I'm telling you and so i literally i'm renting this house and it's gorgeous but there's two closets maybe and i'm a bitch that likes to hoard i hoard bad clothes especially clothes but also i love little trinkets i love things uh-huh but i'm a disney adult it's very like this but the menagerie the menagerie but if this was like triple all this and like nice stuff right right it's nice stuff mixed with like i did go to the

disney store and just kind of ball you ever balled uh me and david's like third date fourth date we went to universal and we went to harry potter together we'd never been yep this is before we weren't supposed to enjoy harry potter as long ago don't get mad at me right before harry potter together we'd never been yep this is before we knew we weren't supposed to enjoy harry potter as long ago don't get mad at me right before harry potter came out as a transphobe exactly harry potter himself harry potter daniel radcliffe daniel radcliffe we're on to you yeah i we went to universal and we got swept up in the magic i think i'm telling you bitch we bought wands adults buying no you did not on a date together that's actually cute but looking at it now it's like but one time we also went to disney and we bought those lanyards and put pins on them. Yes.

Is that okay? Yes. It is, right? Yes. Well, consider the source, right? Well, this is a safe space. This is a safe space. I'm also not well.

Right. So I love that. You know how many pairs of Mickey ears I have? How many? 14. You're kidding. I'm not joking, bitch. You buy a new one every time.

I do buy a new one every time. The last time... I'm choking. i'm so excited the last time i had my pirates of the caribbean shirt on and my pirates of the caribbean ears on and my pirates of the caribbean shoes on love i have a problem it's so fun and i love spending money on things like that because it's like this brings me joy in the moment and then when i move and i say oh i have two closets it's like maybe i need to see someone right i have two disney stories one is there's a drag race queen it's oh and she went to disney and you know they

they put your name in your hat they embroider it but they won't do swear words they you can't go be like my name is bitch like you can't do that so she went and said you know she's brown and i think she used that to her advantage and she she said, my name is Sodomite. And she has a Mickey Mouse hat that says Sodomite. That she watched them stitch into it. And I don't want to out her because I want her to have the freedom to scam in the future. But yeah, Sodomite. Sodomite is crazy.

Crazy. Crazy. It's Italian. Yeah. My other Disney store. Oh, you know, they have the parades about 16 times a day at disney you know as soon as you're trying to get to somewhere there's a street shutdown forget it um what is it um midtown us no uh main street usa like colonial women dancing i don't i understand when it's like winnie the pooh dancing why is it like

suffragette why is that at disney it's like it's like reenactment actors like like it's like civil war reenactment i don't get it i don't get it at all i don't get it at all and they're like lip syncing and i want to know where the music's coming from they have little like jbl speakers up their pussy i don't know where the music is coming but one time it was like the color the it was like festival of lights or something gay and like world of color yes world of color and i'm wearing a pink sequin uh hoodie okay because i was just gay and um there was a time in my life where i wanted to look gay and i wanted people to look at me and now i don't want people to notice me at all but i'm in a

pink sequin hoodie and this mom with a kid is dancing, watching the parade. And then she turns and looks at me and goes to her daughter and goes, look, look, look, look. Oh, I thought you were in the parade. I was just in a pink hoodie. You think I was in the parade? You think you were the first gay person she ever saw? Does everyone you've ever known wear linen and denim? You think I'm in the parade because i

have a pink hoodie on look at this scary monster he's wearing a pink hoodie halloween came early they put a sequel they put sequins on this scarecrow it's a boy wearing sequins he must be in the parade do you fuck with universal of course i do yeah there are some rides that i am scared of have you been on the walking dead walkthrough ride the walking dead right there's a walking dead ride that's like an abandoned hospital Have you been on the Walking Dead walkthrough ride? The Walking Dead ride? There's a Walking Dead ride that's like an abandoned hospital that you walk through like a haunted house

and there's zombies in there. Are you talking about Halloween Horror Nights? No, bitch. It's there all the time. At this Universal over here? Yeah, it's called like AMC The Walk of Dead

or something. No, girl. I need to do that. It's really scary because they have actors in zombie outfits and like a lot of sound effects. It's scary.

That freaks me out but I like to do that with friends. I will never do that alone. It was scary. Are you like a lot of sound effects it's scary that freaks me out but i like to do that with friends i will never do that alone it was scary are you like a theme park girl not really i mean i live in los angeles so over the past eight years of living here i've probably gone to disney 10 times period and maybe universal five times okay do you fuck with the simpson area i think it's so cute. It is cute. I love the Simpsons and I love like the sort of walking through you feel like you're there with like the donuts and the cars and the whatever. But the ride sucks.

The ride sucks and it gives me a headache. It's too much like jerking around. It's too jerky and it's too dim. I'm like squinting at the screen, but it's right in front of me. I think that they need to upgrade it universal i know you're watching i know of course what else are they fucking doing no girl let the mummy ride go i love the mummy ride you're sick in the fucking head you're sick in the head jurassic park it's terrifying such a fun ride terrifying i will

never go on that again i'm not fond of animatronics oh okay they spook me well you know they're not real but that's what makes it scary to me okay there's something really sinister about the fact that like when no one's on that ride and like the lights are off that thing is just sitting in there you think they're fucking each other no that thing is just sitting there waiting i don't't like that. I don't like that. He's just in there. It's just in there. The people who listen to this know about this, but like I remember when I was five years

old, we had a birthday at Chuck E. Cheese and I peeked under the curtain and I saw them in the dark sitting, waiting, smoking a cigarette. And there's something about animatronics sitting and waiting and smiling that I don't like. You would hate Five Nights at Freddy's, girl. Oh, I played that. Yeah, that scared the shit out of me. I played it in VR. Scared the shit out of me.

Scared the shit out of me. You know that fan base goes so hard? The FNAF fan base? Can I tell you, that's a fun little game when you want to get a little 15-minute spook out of your grandma at Christmas. Right, right, right, right. To play it for hours, just do crack. Literally.

Like, if you want to traumatize your body and your mind yeah you're ill you're gonna give yourself trauma jamie lee curtis trauma trauma yeah what's your favorite disneyland ride my favorite disneyland ride is probably well i like the high intensity like let's go bitch i have to go we should do a blog and go together oh my god i hope you're not kidding mary we should take a weekend and we should be like, hey, we should do a video. We should be like, we're doing every ride at Disney. Go. We should do a VIP tour with your money.

I'm self-funding, bitch. You got network money. No. You know what? You know what Katya and I do? We go to Disney and we like literally like hookers. You wait for them to notice you. No, no.

Well, Katya and I literally like prostitutes we go we stand by a ride we like hike up our skirts and we're like oh you're so tall and we wait for some fag in a red coat to be like can i just take you in the back i'm dead serious the way they do it to me your girl i may as well be with y'all that literally me and drew we go and we're like we should just go wait and we'll go over there and be like what do y'all want to do next whatever we wait for somebody to notice yeah you start flipping your hair and being like period um yeah yeah just you know what's humbling though when they're like oh my god i love you i'm like oh you don't care if i live or die no we have lucked out i had an employee Take me on a few rides I even had an employee take me

One time I have his number I texted him he got me into Club 33 And I got to have lunch there shut up bitch And I was like is it weird that I only know you because you're a fan of me And you met me at Disney but if you're really offering My partner and I will go to Club 33 With you yeah so we went on a double date

With this a fan who works at Disney who was super nice How fun it was really fun But I really am just like holding out for a hero at disney like i'm waiting for a homosexual to walk by and go and i'm like that's right bitch what do you got for me they see me with my lanyard with my six disney pins and your ears and we're not doing is going on cars you don't like cars, let me tell you what cars is. You like my leg hair? It's been shocking me the whole time. I have been not able to get a booking

at European Wax Center for three weeks. Have you been able to get a booking at the Bic Center using a razor in your bathroom? You look like Hagrid, bitch. It's bad! It's bad, but if you shave, you can't wax. I thought you had crocheted leggings on no bitch that's actually gonna be part of my leg are you looking at this sock tan there's a lot going on under the knee right here

i'll just do this this is literally it's like i look down i'm like fuck me i know anyway well my legs aren't even that hairy oh i know i see you looking at me you're disgusted in horror and shock um i don't like the cars ride because to get to anaheim, California, you sit and stop and go traffic. Well, yeah, but it's not Cars. The Cars ride is sitting in a car, Mary, pretending to go on a fake road. That's what we did on the way to Disney. It's Radiator Springs Racers, you bitch. You don't get it.

You don't get the cinematic universe. I've also never seen Cars. Is that part of it? Yeah. What is actually wrong with you you've never experienced the magic of owen wilson and larry the cable guy together as a duo i've never seen cars oh i gotta watch cars huh you know you would love it because it's like small town america like scary small town just say poor white trash say poor yeah all the poor um i don't like that ride.

So what else at Disney? My favorite one, I hate to say. I think Indiana Jones turns it. I get that. It's like being in a movie. Yeah, I get that. You know, when they just redid it. So the ball actually rolls towards you and it looks like you're going to die and then you go under it.

And then Indy's like hanging from the rope. It's so, and he could get it. That animatronic of Indiana Jones, horny. That one's amazing. It really looks like him. It get it. That animatronic of Indiana Jones. Horny. That one's amazing. It really looks like him. It really does. People animatronics are fine with me. Okay.

Animals really spook me. You have like a phobia. Yeah. All right, guys. Did we clock that? Everybody knows. They've all heard about it. Edits of Five Nights at Freddy's.

Well, I'll tell you this. We've talked about this on every media. My nightmare. That Matterhorn ride. I was about to say that's one of my top three it's the thought of this it starts with you going up a track and you hear it roar and you hear it it's scary the premise of the ride is that the the matter the um he's gonna get you he's getting is chasing you yeah he gonna get you girl you go around certain corners where he has red eyes and reaches out are you fucking with we're not doing that right there's fun no

it's so much fun i'll go every time and you know what's even scarier ride it at night and you know there's two tracks there's two tracks one of them is like bunny slope and the other one is like black diamond triple diamond like the turns are oh and it's like going six times faster than the normal one that's my favorite that's what i'm saying it's so it's very jerky so i've slipped the disc like i'm immobilized and then this thing is reaching toward me and i'm just like yeah defenseless i can't do that i can't be a part of that and then they yell at you as you're getting off the ride. A terrifying moment. A lot, a lot.

Yeah. And the music too. It's this Swedish, I don't know, like polka? I guess. Polka music leading to death. I'm obsessed with it, but the vibes are incredible. You know what my favorite ride is? Have you ever been to Disney World?

In Disney, or sorry, in Florida. In Florida. The only reason to go to Florida. Well, period. The Twilight Zone ride, the Tower of Terror. That's my favorite ride at any theme park. in florida in florida the only reason to go to florida well period um the twilight zone ride the tower of terror that's my favorite ride at any theme park ever do the drop rides yes do you like the ones like in the in the wild where it's like a circle and it's not enclosed and you go up and drop it like six flags scares the life out of you yeah it's terrifying the thing i like about

tower of terror is that it's long it's a long ride it is like a narrative yeah and it's scary they redid it at disneyland though because now it's guardians of the galaxy girl don't get me started i don't know why it's guardians of galaxy i don't either kunkka burn in love plays while you go up and down and that raccoon's like what's happening you're a disney adult the way that you know that you're like the jackson fives in my ear i'm sorry i have memory bitch that's more than i could say but no it was i don't want to be a traitor but when it was twilight zone i think it was better i agree and it also you would go on the track through it a little bit yeah and there's that little girl who's terrifying scary we have to go together i think we should go we should do

better than that we should go together um and we should stay on property so we can like do two days. Will Katya come? Probably not. No. She'd be miserable. She loves theme parks. She likes thrill rides. And I think Disney lets her down because it doesn't have enough like.

I agree. I do agree. I think Universal. California Adventure has like better roller coasters, but. Yeah. I think Universal has better rides. Universal in Florida. But Disney's more of like, I enjoy the experience more.

It's more cohesive. Totally. And the California Disneyland really is like old school Hollywood, like black and white Mickey Mouse shit. Obsessed with it. Yeah. Obsessed. We all have to go.

Well, let's make it happen. Would you guys watch that? Comment below. Would you watch a vlog of us going to Disney? Girl, they'll watch us finger pop each other's assholes. It's really not like, will they watch? It's like, when's it coming out? It's not that we're funny.

It's that they have nothing going on. They're bored, girl. They're bored. We are premium media. Whatever happened to hello? Whatever happened to how are you? How are you? My name is.

Listen, not that they don't know where to find you. Tell them where they can find you. I am Brittany underscore broski. You can find me on YouTube, TikTok, Instagram instagram i think that's about it work and if you don't know i'm at tricksy i'm pretty much everything now so thank you britney for filling in for katya and we'll see you guys soon bye Bye.