The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - We All Need a Necklace That Says “Winner” with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: October 18, 2022

After two years of wearing easy cheese-stained sweatpants and that vintage Cher 'Do You Believe?' tour t-shirt, it's time to re-visit your closet and break out those accessories. While dainty chains, layered strands, and zodiac trinkets have been en vogue this past summer, it's time to step out into the crisp, fall air with some bold bijoux that tells everyone around you, "I'm a Winner." Made from only the most affordable raw copper on the market, the "Winner" necklace is the must-have accessory as you sip your pumpkin spice latte and pleasure yourself in the park to the fiery foliage this autumn. While your parents, family, and teachers may have never said it, we here at Bald, LLC want you to know that in our humble opinion, you're the epitome of a winner. Download Karma Now: https://lpkarmanow.onelink.me/nSgX/TrixieandKatyayt Watch the full Karma Now commercial: https://lpkarmanow.onelink.me/nSgX/TrixieandKatyawatch Cancel unnecessary subscriptions now with RocketMoney! Go to: www.Rocketmoney.com/BALD Design like a pro with Canva Pro! To check out Canva, go to: Canva.me/BALD This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. To find a licensed therapist near you, go to: www.Betterhelp.com/BALD When you’re ready to launch a new website, go to Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Check out the new season of American Horror Story, AHS:NYC, premiering on FX on October 19th! Stream on Hulu! Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com @karma_shopnow #shopwithkarma #sponsored Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey. Hey. We're back. Spice Girls. Spice Girls. Who's your favorite Spice Girl? Is that a trick question? It is, baby.

Really? But now that Mel is a colleague of mine. Yeah, and a close personal friend. A close personal friend. Yeah. Bestie. I told you about the goats, right? Yeah. Fucking hilarious.

Goats. Goats. Fainting goats that are hilarious? She has fainting goats. She said, I have those fainting goats from the internet. And I said, oh, is it? From the internet? Like, I guess she saw them on.

I said, are they funny? Do they really faint? I said, she goes, it's fucking hilarious. I mean, I'll never forget. I love her accent she says every day she kicks open her her kitchen windows and scares the goats and says good morning and they faint no that's not true that can't be true does she have video that's her daily am i still scary if you know i can't even put that together wait what is the real story behind scary spice

i mean what's the deal it's so so crazy. Well, I'm sure that- It's not leopard print. That's not scary. Well, if I know my Spice Girl storylines, I think that these nicknames were picked out for them by some kind of music reporter who didn't know their names. Okay. Is it like an origin story? They were originally called Spice.

Okay. And then people kept saying the girls from Sp spice the spice girls and then i think some reporter was like oh there's the posh one and then the ginger one he didn't know their names okay and then they just ran with it but that's like that i think that is like reinforcing my the point i'm i i think that's scary what's so scary about mel b i would say gorgeous spice lovely spice beautiful spice i had a good time working with her and she never hit me one no could you Scary? What's so scary about Mel B? I would say gorgeous Spice, lovely Spice, beautiful Spice. I had a good time working with her and she never hit me once. No, could you?

Why is she so scary? I have a black eye. She never stabbed me. Oh, man. The Spice Girls. Listen, can we talk about the elephant in the room? Posh? Oh, this one? We're back in Los Angeles. Oh, okay. I walked into my house the night we got back. I stood in my kitchen and spun like my arms out like maria yeah i french kiss my furniture i went and then i did tongue yeah it was great it's sickening to be home hollywood right there the sign the sign it's

it's lovely unfortunately we i forgot that this part of the year la is really disgusting it's gonna look like this for four months part of the year but look really disgusting It's gonna look like this For four more months This part of the year But look at this I mean The sky Oh but I like the overcast It's a welcome change You know We have to leave

In two and a half weeks How's that Mary Mary We're at the show In LA And everybody's circling up And doing like the

I'm 15 For a moment Like do it Like They're like goodbye like goodbye to you. Vitamin C graduation. Like can you believe the tour is over? The end of an era.

Oh yeah. Is everybody here on crack? 50 shows left. Yeah. The way I see it, we got to, don't even unpack. Don't say goodbye. Don't say goodbye to me unless you're never going to see me again. Girl.

Thank you. It's called see you later. See you later, tinta. Yeah. YouTube theater was nice i like until we got up there i thought it was extremely hot on that stage it was hot but i like i like that i don't know if i like um i don't know if i'm undecided about historic theater like you know usually no way no ac or like new theater kind of looks like a convention center. Yeah, yeah. No character, but maybe AC.

I don't know. The floor was concrete. Yeah. Uggy. Yeah. Ugly. You know, I don't know. It's YouTube theater.

I thought, oh my God, are we booked here because we're YouTube celebrities? And they said no, that YouTube just sponsored it and owns the name or whatever. I said, okay. Like the Charles Schwab Pavilion.avilion yes yeah well i met a bunch of people from youtube and i was like i'm a youtuber i was like i have my million play button and they were like what is your million play button we give a million subscribers is there like an actual club like what is the most um uh like how many who's the most famous person on youtube by the way as far as numbers yeah Yeah. Probably Mr. Beast.

How many has he got? Do you know who Mr. Beast is? Okay, you and I gave him an award once at the Streamy Awards. Oh, Mr. Beast, of course. Kevin, right? Kevin Beast. Kevin Beastie. Yeah, Bob. I mean, the Beastie Boys.

Mm-hmm. Oh, by the way, we got to talk about that club we went to the other night. All right. You know what? I'm going to say this as a... Wait as a uh wait okay mr beast 106 million subscribers wow but he has a channel where he's like he's like um today i'm giving away 10 lamborghinis you know what i mean yeah that's like dubrovnik guy he does the same thing yeah what is that you go from like i i used to pick my nose online and then you're giving away Lamborghinis?

That's so crazy. But now like the kids, the youths, their aspirations like on career day, they're like, I want to give away Lamborghinis on YouTube. Automotive philanthropy is something to strive for. I'm sure he's really, I'm sure he's nice. No, no, yeah. I'm sure he's funny. I think he's pumped.

I'm just going to say it. I think he's pumped. Is he G-A-Y? No. I don't think he's gay. No, no. Nobody with that many Lamborghinis gay no no you know nobody with that much money sucking cock though like no you're like going into space you're going to cry you're

sucking cocks we know you're sucking cocks if you're rich enough to just be a little gay everybody wants to be a little gay so if you're so rich yeah they're sucking cocks oh he just looks like bob regular he just looks like a Bob regular. I think he's pumped So we also got to talk about you and I had a wrap party they they they All right, they organized that the tour organized a party at a place called Dave's break room something like that. I was it I I Contacted the producer of the show weeks before. I said, hey, you know what? You should organize an after party if you haven't done that already. It was like, okay, great.

We'll work on it. Where? Maybe West Hollywood. Blah, blah, blah. Cut to a 45-minute Uber ride to Koreatown. That was fine with me because I live over here and so do you. We have to come this way anyway. Okay.

Oh, that's true. We were in Inglewood. Yes. That's true. Okay. So the issue was- Of 145 minutes in the uber i'm all for theater i went to terror vault okay like i know theater yeah that was standing in the

in the dumpster alley near the smell of dead cats waiting with what waiting with straight people oh yeah like when i see a bunch of cool straight people, I'm like, we need to get the fuck out of here. Like, like, I don't know. Like when I see like an influencer girl. That's true. And you know what? Did you notice the couplings? I'm like the hottest bitches with the ugliest men.

That is L.A. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's hot, hot, hot bitch. And then this guy who was wearing like. Looks like Ronnie Spector. He was wearing like. He had on like a Ronnie Specter wig and a drug rug.

And I was like, what are we doing? Well, you know, it's LA. We walked through, we walked through this back area. It looked like a kitchen,

industrial kitchen. Everybody's waiting on a loading dock. I get in there. I have a painting. I'm carrying a large painting. And I, and I'm like, what's up?

I'm going to the after party. Where's the after party? I'm not waiting on a loading dock. I go right in. Then she tries to say Do you want something From the trap door Or whatever There's like a

You know There's a vending machine A vending machine That's really a door She's like Do you want anything From the vending machine I was like

Yeah And then it was a joke Well that was her bit Like you want anything From the vending machine And then open Great bit Although I'm not gonna lie

That was exciting I didn't get it When we finally When the door was revealed And I would have never known It was there that was exciting. Why didn't get it? When we finally, when the door was revealed and I would have never known it was there, that was exciting. And you know what else I loved about it? And I'm gonna say this, I saw you walk in,

I saw your face and you left immediately and I understand. But what I did enjoy about the night, we weren't at a gay bar, and so nobody wanted a picture with me. And so in that sense, it was nice. If I don't wanna, if want people to not take pictures of me I'll go to my own bathroom You know what I mean

But I'm saying it was not a full bar It wasn't many people there And it was a bunch of private karaoke rooms I went into the karaoke room of a stranger Karaoke room A stranger's karaoke room I thought it was public And after now I was like oh that was their little private party

I went right in This straight people singing high school musical fucking high school girl singing high school musical i walk in and the girl singing looks at me and she recognized me and then she takes a picture with me and then i realized this is this is not public this is private oh okay so i left i but there was like some kind of like um rock band situation going on in there and i was just like like... They were singing Beastie Boys. You wanna fight? Boy, you're right.

Yeah, I wasn't into that. But also, I was like, I thought it was going to be like a little private little setup. And you know, like... But yeah. I had a blast. Okay, good. I sang with Tracy. We sang a lot of music.

A lot of great music sung that night. I did Work It by Missy Elliott Okay Wait is that Sex Me So Good I Say Blah Blah Blah Yes But it's kind of a flex when you're doing a rap song And you don't have to look at the screen Oh yeah

And everyone's like wow you're cool And you do all that good dancing too Yeah Well I'm there and I'm dancing And I'm like There was more slurs in the song than I remember So I also did some silent sections I was gonna say did you omit any words No I than I remember So I also did some silent sections I was gonna say

Did you omit any words? No I jumped I will say I did some like Yeah it's tough Yes You don't want to get cancelled by Flaptina Bestie No So our dancers just laughed at me

While I like skipped sections They're like okay good for you But you know I'm always fascinated by dancer type personalities because any dancers like backup dancers or professional dancers, really hot people like that with great physiques. It's always about a half a half tablespoon of alcohol. They climb the walls. Do you know what I mean? I suppose.

Yeah. People turn up so fiercely. They do. They do get. Yeah. They they bloom and blossom in the nightclub they do crazy shit they do they do yeah hot people in general like when it's what i know what is that like well the world is your oyster when the world when it's not about them and this

isn't tar dancers this is to all hot people when it's not about them there's a shift there's a seismic shift where they're like oh my god this isn't about me oh yeah like you know what i mean yes yes yes yes yes it's disorienting for them yes how could this possibly be seismic gravitational pivot and they're like oh they're they're like um marty mcfly like hand disappearing and they're like oh my god it's usually a call to action though because that's when they ratchet up the drama a little more to get back in the spotlight. Don't you think?

Yes, I do. What happened? Yes, I do. What happened? What happened? I don't know. We went to see Terror Vault, which I, that was thrilling. I was so tired and I was jolted right back to life that night.

Screaming, screaming. If you're in San Francisco, I mean, I'm sure this comes out. Oh, it's after Halloween. Yeah. No, no, no, it isn't. If you're in San Francisco, I mean, I'm sure this comes out. Oh, it's after Halloween. No, no, it isn't. If you're in San Francisco, go see Peaches Christ Terror Vault production. It's basically a haunted attraction. It's a 45 minute experience with a narrative. Tableaus.

There's all different tableaus that you step into. And people act in right inches from your face. We screamed a lot. Screamed a lot. Sometimes they're touching you. They shocked me. I had the necklace on, you. They shocked me. I had the necklace on,

which, which meant, uh, please touch me. And then they strapped me to a thing to put a lot of, um, like blush on me and then, um, shocked me with the East end thing.

Uh huh. It was crazy. Scary. They got like cottage cheese all over my blouse. Well, and this is something, this is my trauma, right?

My trauma, trauma. I don't like it. Horror movies, something scary trauma. Trauma. I don't like it. Horror movies, something scary happens and people laugh. I don't like that. Yeah. And I understand that people's response to fear is sometimes laughter, but mine isn't. Mine is to be, I watch a horror movie like this.

Yeah. If we're having a communal experience, you need to go with the appropriate response. Which is more, huh, right. Yeah. Not like, oh, you you bitch you fucking bitch you serve like like or at a haunted house yeah if we're spooked and scared we don't need to like then like talk back to the haunt you know what i mean like certainly don't need to sass the actors in front of their face yeah so it was a little it was a little um yeah it sucked not to

my taste yeah also i have um i'm like such a goody two-shoes from school. I don't like people who misbehave in particular ways. Do you know what I mean? Me neither. Talk when the teacher's talking or whatever. It's rude. I don't like rudeness. Yes.

Or saying jokes to the movie theater screen. What's the point of that? Girl, don't do all that. No. Shut up. Shut up and be scared. But they should have movie theater experiences where What's the point of that? What's the point of that? Girl, don't do all that. Shut up. Shut up and be scared. But they should have movie theater experiences where it's like, oh, this is a silent showing where like nobody's going to talk.

But that should be all of them. But everybody, that is literally every movie. But in LA, I wanted to see Halloween Ends last night and I wanted to go down to Hollywood Boulevard to the TLC, TCL, not TLC. The TLC theater, yeah. And I was like, I'm not going to go because I'm going to be mad when people start talking to the screen

or like laughing. Yeah. When I saw Smile, a bunch of high schoolers were just having like their little varsity meeting in the back. Varsity Blues back there. We were there.

No, no. This is when I went the first time. So the night before. Yes. You saw Smile two nights in a row. I did. It was like in a nearly empty theater except a bunch of like rabid Randy high schoolersers and i was like you'll need to do this somewhere

else go rent a hall the elk's lodge but that's what i mean there should be a showing that's like this is the fun showing for people who want to chat it's just a screensaver and then for people who want to be scared because it takes me out of it i get scared and then someone laughs and it breaks my momentum i know it's horrible how am i supposed to keep jerking off when people are laughing in the back row? Yeah. Because I'll go along with it. If I pay my money to be there, I will go along with it.

I don't need to. Wait, go along with what? The vibe? Anything. Well, like, I'll go along with, if you're trying to scare me, I will meet you. I'll be scared. If you're trying to make me laugh, I'll laugh. You know, like, I'll go for it.

Yeah. And so anything that's sort of like pulling focus from up there. I like that. Not good. Not good. You ever shit your pants in a movie theater? Sorry. Would you ever shit your pants in a movie theater? No.

For $10? No. Okay. I thought too long about that. I was like. That was the pregnant pose. I'm. Oh, I guess we'll take a break.

We'll take a break. Yes. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. Break. We'll take a break. Yes, bring it. This episode is brought to you by CIBC.

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I got hungover from weed. I don't think that's possible. I ate edibles. Let's talk about that. I ate edibles. And let's say I pushed it. Well, what does pushing it mean? I think I took some and then fell asleep maybe before the beat dropped.

And then I think I woke up a little tired from it. Oh, that happens on edibles? Really? It happened to me. You take a little too much. Reductus, it happened to me. Too much edibles. And I woke up feeling cranky.

It wasn't too much edibles in that like it was psychoactively unappealing uh-huh so i didn't think i'd be hung over but i am hung over a little bit what was the edible experience like well i'm okay my friends at sonder who make marijuana they make these marijuana pop rocks these edible pop rocks that i quite enjoy and they sent me a bunch of flavors that haven't come out yet exclusive so i've been trying all these new flavors doing my due diligence of course i'm your research yes and i just got a little fierce got a little fierce spunky and fresh um because i watched i put them up your butt did you no no no no i watched halloween ends while i signed a book i signed sat here and fucking signed books for hours watching halloween ends and um it's great was it I thought it was fine, but I don't know.

Again, I'll go with what's being presented. Yes, I appreciate that because the movie that came before, Mama, that was a turd in the shape of a movie. It's better than Halloween Kills for sure. Okay, thank God. I wouldn't say it's as good as the first one. Spoil it for me and everybody.

Did she kill him? This is like a big spoiler. Do you want to know? She is him. He's her. He's her. It's Jamie Lee Kermis with the uh what is it spoil it do you really want to know yes i don't i don't care that much do you really want to know my god now i don't want to know let's move on no what is that what is it

spoiler alert spoiler alert it It ends with the killing. Oh. What did she do? Fry his face in the frying pan? He tries to kill her in a kitchen. And she stabs one of his hands to the wall. I saw that in the trailer. To the butcher.

Stabs the other hand down to it. And then knocks the fridge down on top of his leg so he can't move. And then she slits his throat, slits both his wrists, and bleeds him out and watches. Because she's like, you're not coming back, bitch. Now, that's interesting to me. And then the granddaughter is like, no, bitch, we're finishing this. The whole town goes to the auto wreckery. The whole town, the sheriff, they show victims in the last few movies who survived.

And Worry pushes his body into a chipper and you see him completely. So like he's not coming back. And they take their plastic bags. They cut, they cut all the juice and they, Oh my God. I thought I'm saying it was a satisfying ending that after 43 years, you see Laurie Strode pour his body into a wood chipper.

He is done. She's like, he not coming back from this one folks. Oh, but that's really intense. That's almost kind of funny. Yeah. And that was satisfying. Um, and it opens with four years after the last movie so it's like lori

being like she's kind of moving past her trauma she's being a real person and then it's like the whole city blaming her for michael existing like there's a scene where she's leaving the grocery store and some woman's like my sister can't speak her throat was slipped by Michael Myers And this is your fault bitch. So like the city making her feel bad about it. It was fine It was fine. I'm gonna say that you should see it and watch the last part No, the the main focus of it is like a new character I think that's what people are gonna say hard to deal with somebody who Sally Struthers well like this the the theme of it is that like evil's

like an infection that spreads in this town and so it follows somebody who's sort of like the next michael myers in a way like a oh micro michael in training micro myers it's like a little micro myers he's like killing people's like sorry i'm a trainee something bad happens to him on Halloween. No Judy Greer. Bummer. I know. World famous Judy Greer. Love her.

But you know, I can appreciate that somebody in a horror movie dies and stays dead. Well, yeah. You never know. I love that they were like- I'm sorry if I ruined it for you. I feel bad. Now you've saved me the burden of having to go see it because I don't want to go see it. But I just love-

It's on Peacock. Peacock? It's on Peacock? I called David and said, I have your peacock login I'll fuck you and I realized it was already on this tv logged in so I was like never mind it's a really nice movie I saw it on peacock um we gotta see the terrifier part two I gotta see the but I gotta see one no you don't you see that later you have to tune into Black Diarrhea. Okay. I'll tell you something. I'm not going to spoil it because it was quite shocking. But there's a character shows up on the scene, very unannounced, very unbelievable. And she sprays out some black diarrhea on the floor of a laundromat.

And I had to turn my hat sideways and look to my left and right and say, wow, gee whiz, I've never seen that before. It was really great. Black diarrhea spraying on the floor of the laundromat i've never seen that no right thank you never seen it before no i have not seen that i've been on my intervention kick why does the why does, why is excrement such a taboo? In these movies, we see- Because it's gross. Right. But you don't think it's gross when people are flayed alive?

I think that we're wired to have a grossed out reaction when we see defecament. Excrement? Or defecation? Defecamention? Defecamation? Defecation. I think we're wired to be grossed out by that and that makes sense

because that way a caveman's not like what's this I'm eating poop now well they need to talk to some people in Germany but yeah mama

and Los Angeles everybody every 10 is into scat every 10 is into scat if you're hot you're being opened up and you're eating piss you're digitally extracting

large nugs of defecation and you're eating them and You're digitally extracting large nugs of defecation and you're eating them. And you're using a fun little word like scat to describe it. Yes. Yes. I saw a guy on Grindr recently.

It was like, I'm into like light BDSM, but the profile picture was a mummification of leather, like suspended from the ceiling. And I'm like, okay. What is light here? If this is light BDSM, what do they do?

What's the further version of it? Chop the head off? Chop the head off and fuck the stump. Yeah. I was just like, whoa. Yeah. I'm into, I don't know. Yeah.

Vanilla. What is the most vanilla thing you can imagine? Little whispers? Little kisses? Little kitten kisses? I think the funny thing is how many guys aren't into kissing, which is like the most normal. You can shit in my mouth, but we are not kissing. We are not kissing.

I draw the line at intimacy. You fucking freak. Yeah. But you got a hard turd for my mouth. That's so crazy. Yeah. I guess it's to each their own. But the Terrifier is two and a half hours of unbelievable carnage.

Each kill was like, and it kept going and going and going. Like for example, he grabs the girl, he slices her head, rips her scalp off. And then he slashes her in the back, grabs the thing of bleach, pours the bleach on her. Then he grabs the thing of salt, pours the salt on her, then starts rubbing it on the head, on the back, just on the exposed side. And then he like chops the fingers off. Then he like breaks the leg and it breaks the arm then he like rips the arm off and it's like it keeps going and going and going and then the mom walks in and he's got like a thing and he's uh she's like a mangled little stump and he's still like poking at her it's crazy i guess i gotta go see you gotta go see it it was like that's the type of movie i would be okay seeing at like a talkative movie

theater because it seems like it's not really scary. Well, it was scary and it went to scary, gross, and then funny because we had to laugh. Had to laugh. Also, there was more queer representation in the Terrifier Part 2 than there was in Bros. Yeah. That clown is so gay. But you know what? And I don't need Sir Ian McKellen tweeting me that if I don't see it, I hate gay people.

Or that if you don't see it, we're all going to the gas chamber. Girl. Girl. Girl. Girl. But Art the Clown is very, he's giving very like stand, um, like gay. He's just like, like after he slices open some woman, he's like. He's doing like antics.

Oh my God. He's doing like comedy. Like silent. He's got bits. Yeah. Gay, silent. He's Rip Taylor., like silent. He's got bits. Yeah. Gay, silent. He's got a lot of bits.

Art the Clown, AKA Rip Taylor. You're going to see that black diarrhea. My leg is asleep. Wow. Jason. Oh, Jason.

Jason Socks. Now, who do you think would win in a fight? Jason or Michael? Well, I think at this point, Michael is like. Woodchipped.

No, Jason is like supernatural. Oh, okay. Yeah. Jason's really unkillable. Cause I think it's point, Michael is like... Woodchipped. No, Jason is like supernatural. Oh, okay, yeah. Jason's really unkillable because I think it's kind of supernatural. Okay, Michael's not supernatural? He's Bob Regular to me. Yeah, he's kind of just like a really intense Bob Regular. If anything, maybe he's a little bit like Splice.

Not Splice. Split. Split, okay. Splice is a crazy movie.'ve seen that show yeah they fuck that thing they fuck the daughter they fuck the alien daughter well nothing's dangerous i got that drop dead gorgeous dvd at amoeba the other day they gave me a hundred dollar store gift certificate and i said if you just give me this dvd i'll i'll give you the money back Wow You got a DVD player around here? I have a PS4 Which plays DVDs So I'm excited to watch it

Alabama A-L-A A-L-A B-A-M-A Girl the Accent I told you I've been watching Intervention And it's right Midwest

Well they're in Canada this season Season 21 And a lot of it's giving Well it's Canada sometimes Winnipeg It's almost like It's almost Irish

Canada Oh yeah I guess yeah I live in vancouver it's kind of like that but they have some wisconsin area kind of sounds and it's like they're doing their like little thing and it's sad and i cry of course i cry every episode by the way so if you think i watch the show as a joke it's not a joke to me and it's really hard because so many of them they relapse and yeah but hard because so many of them they relapsed and yeah some of them the show is like and then they're like they've been sober since this film do they really yes yes even when the offers and stuff well it depends on the drug yeah we're talking meth when we're talking

like fentanyl it's like they enter a six-month program they're gone in two weeks and they don't hear from them since yeah you know but that's because the family actually sticks to the the rock bottom like you know what i mean because that's the thing i've learned it's always when somebody has no job and no income it's like there's a web of reasons why that person can continue to access a drug like yeah yeah oh if they have all that free time the mom being like i'll give you money as long as you don't promise to use it for drug you know right it's like please don't go spend it on'll give you money as long as you don't promise to use it for drug. You know what I mean? Please don't go spend it on candy.

Yeah. Or they're like, well, I don't like her using in the house, but I'd rather her be here instead of under a fucking bridge somewhere. I mean, it's like. I'd rather you do in the house. I'd rather you do in the house. But they have the super Wisconsin accent. So I'm laughing because they're doing like the sorry, you know, and it's like, so you have a letter to read. And it's like, hey, Scott, you were always my older brother ever since you were born. You were a light in the room, but that light has gone out.

Oh, no. It's like so strong. Like, hey, we're going to fight like hell to get Chibat, kiddo. That's like the same thing with Boston. Like, it's really hard seeing you like this but we gotta you know george is just out there in the yard naked again and we just don't know what to do yeah they gotta do all the interventions in like central ohio where there's no accent or no to get maximum they're gonna do it back at where mary mary's town they gotta get it bring it. Just toss a lot of water on it. Yeah.

She's my daughter. My daughter is a home and she has, she drinks only water now. No more alcohol. Good for her. Yeah. Wait, Amy polar speaking of Bostonians and also something else.

Um, we met her. We did. She came to our show. Okay. What about this? I heard that she listens to the Bolton beautiful. Yeah. Which is really crazy. I think she hate listens to it. Oh, she's like she listens to the Baldwin Beautiful. Yeah.

Which is really crazy. I think she hate listens to it. Oh, she's like, let's see what these fucking fags have to say. Yeah, these at-words, these stupid old... No. And she said, we should work together. I said, work on what, Mary? Where? At the Dunkin' Donuts?

I shifted to Orange Julius. Work on a meatloaf? Work on a lovely drawing? She's like, we should work together. I need my bathroom deep cleaned. Yeah. I want to get some tunnel group put in our... She's like, we should work together. I need my bathroom deep cleaned. Yeah. I want to get some tunnel group put in our.

It's like, what the fuck? I was happy she came. You know who else reserved a ticket? Bette Midler and she didn't come. She's on her Hocus Pocus tour. She would not show up because that movie flopped. She didn't want to show her face. Did you watch it yet? The thing I like about Hocus Pcus is that it's two times the fun

you know what you can wait to watch it on november 1st because you don't want the halloweenism to amp up the you want to know what the real tea is i know the cold light of november we love amy poehler we love amy poehler i've won uh 51 years old i asked her right to her face how old she was and um she's beautiful skin wonderful personality i'm a big fan of hers and we had a lovely interaction yeah she said she's about to go on the road with tina and she was like i'm trying to figure out i was like she was trying to figure out what to do yeah she's trying to get inspired and i said just put on some sparkly dresses yeah i said it doesn't matter put on a flashy outfit yeah yeah you and her have a lot in common because you both go on the road with tina oh tina yes girl i love tina as well i would love to see their show i i think what they do they're um

i would imagine it has some bears some kind of resemblance to what they did at the golden globes which was dynamite show-stopping entertainment for 10 to 15 minutes if you ask me yeah yeah they have yeah it was really cool that she came and she brought some of her production people and there's a lot of, there's a lot of, Orville Peck was there.

Yeah, he's always there. He's always trying to steal the drinks and food. Heidi in Closet was there and she shaved her head. She shaved her head at the show?

No. She came bald and she was like, I'm bald in solidarity. Okay. And I was like, I think it was a pitiful show, a pitiful turnout from the girls, I'd say drag queen sisters yeah none of them come they're all

busy all haters all busy busy doing their scrapbook at home wishing they were what tricks you can catch you live no um none of them come priyanka came priyanka came but to be fair i don't invite anyone oh yeah i tell them not to come i don't invite anyone I don't call and say like My show's here Yeah Can I get a ticket Who's this And just hang up

My real close friends Either buy tickets Or don't care about me They're so sick of me That they don't want to see me Yeah yeah yeah If they didn't procure a ticket They're not interested

Yeah And then it's like A tertiary person I've worked with twice Who's like Can I get six tickets For free And I'm like

I like it when the stars Do it though Like real's like can I get six tickets for free and I'm like I like it when the stars do it though like real Hollywood stars can I get tickets absolutely I'll snatch them away from a person who's not a star and give them to you yeah I'm gonna kick Beth and Susan and their Trixie and Katya merch out of the front row kick them out so that um Soleil Moonfrye and uh and um uh Dennis Quaid can sit in the front oh wait, wait. Doesn't he have a young nepotism son who's on? Isn't his son on the boys? Dennis Quaid? I wouldn't.

Yes. The Jack Quaid. Jack Quaid. Okay. Okay. Yeah. He's Huey and the boys. Okay.

He does a good job. He's hilarious. Yeah. It's great. How many? I'm looking at the stack of them. I'm a little disoriented, though, because in the book, Huey is from Scotland and has a super strong Scottish accent that's written into the character or like follow me on twitter

yeah and then the show he obviously doesn't he's just like hi but the show is totally different they just take the idea of like what if they were real what if the government owned superheroes and they're all of it's different is elizabeth shoe in the books i mean not her obviously but the character uh yeah okay yeah it's just all different okay all different and it's like in the show if it's implied sexual assault in the book it's a graphic illustration of a 13 page like fold out yeah poster yeah or like the violence, wow, she stabbed her in the book. Oh, they're ripping faces off. It's like fire too.

Yeah. So the violence is obviously greater. But they do really wonderful work in the show. It's very splashy and very like, it's great. It's really great. It's a great program. I'm glad it's a hit because it's,

um, it's exciting to be into a show that I think will be on for a while. Yeah. Like cheers. Everything seems possible will be on for a while. Yeah. Like cheers. Everything seems possible. Cheers was a good one. Mash. Cheers.

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And then now I'm reading Preacher. Okay. And now what's that? Is that about preaching? It's about a preacher and a vampire trying to kill God. Oh, that sounds great. Yeah, it's fun. Why don't they pitch that in Hollywood?

That was the original Trixie and Katya live plot. Yeah. Or like Bros. That sounds like a great Bros plot. I still haven't seen it. Let's not waddle into the discourse here. I gotta see t.s madison eight um simone from drag race the winners drag race effervescent cameo um bowen yang hysterical um yeah joel kim booster i don't know if he was in it but he's just hot in general i'm just a hater though because um if it's not horror i'm probably

not gonna get up and go to the movie theater. You know, that's just really the only genre I show up for. Maybe that's my own trauma. So we're done the second American leg of the tour. And now we're going to the UK and Europe. American leg. American leg is done. Now we go to UK.

It's going to be. Can I tell you? No. Yeah. Tell me. So I got Halloween gigs. Okay. Because last year my appendix came out.

So this year I have to make up all my Halloween gigs, which is fine. I love Halloween. She is a man of her word. And if you see me at the Halloween gigs and I'm, you know that I'm happy to be there, but know that if I hadn't had these gigs to make up, I wouldn't have opted to do Halloween gigs in the three weeks between our tours. Okay. So that's tough. Yeah.

That is tough. That is tough. Yeah, that is tough. That is tough. That's hard. And I go straight from the 31st Halloween in Boston. I go straight to New York to shoot for a couple days for something else. And then we start the tour. And we don't come back until almost Christmas, bitch. Yeah, I know.

This year's done. It's really over. We missed all of it. This year's played out. 2020's played out um but you know what oh I'm gonna go see a musical concert um and I've never really done that before you're going to see Laboda Laboda yeah it looks like Loboda but you say I thought it was Laboda Laboda yeah it should be Laboda but you know they're weird and um but yeah I'm very excited it's in a casino i have a vip table yeah is she famous here um i mean she's famous in the russian community russian speaking

world and who's going to see her here russians a lot of russian speaking people in this country okay really ukrainians everybody former soviet people a lot of people so is she like the Ukrainians Everybody Former Soviet people A lot of people So is she like the Is she the The Kylie Minogue

Of Russia I would say she's more popular Than that Really I think so Dula Peep Are you lying She's older than Dula Peep

So she's my age She's pumped She's Lips half the face Yeah Lips half the face Why don't you try to meet her She's gonna

Oh are you kidding I'm I'm Why don't you try to meet her She's gonna Oh are you kidding I'm I'm doing everything In my power to meet her Like whether it's like From like SWAT team To like Pratt Falls

And clown shows I need to meet her Just to snap a picture Or something You should apply To like security At that casino Work a few shifts

Fly under the radar I'm going tomorrow I need I have a lot of ground work To do I want you to do Everything that an assassin Would do

But when you actually Get up to it Instead of assassination It's like a nice compliment Hi I'm going tomorrow. I have a lot of groundwork to do. I want you to do everything that an assassin would do, but when you actually get up to it, instead of assassination, it's like a nice compliment. Hi, you look so beautiful. I love your last album. Can I have a picture? Yeah, she's great. She's awesome.

Does she know who you are? She does. And I don't know that she loves that. Because our Ding Dong song outstreamed her Boom Boom song on spotify and she doesn't like that i don't think she would love that but i don't know if she does i don't put words in her mouth but she does read or see my instagram stories when you know when you tag somebody it says have you seen it uh-huh she's seen it and she reposted it once well listen not to be a whatever but if the drag queens are paying attention to you at all it means you're doing something right

yeah sometimes we're making fun of you or or worshiping at the altar yeah i mean i would have a hard time believing that she didn't have a sense of humor about showmanship because she's a drag queen so but she's she sings like uh she cry like she cries things it's amazing like Like, she wails. It's very emotional. Are you going to dance for the show? I'm going to scream every word. I'm going to sing every word at a very loud volume probably. Uh-huh.

I don't know. Do you like to dance? No. I'm just going to do like arms. Maybe probably just get really, really excited. We'll see. We'll see. She could be very disappointing.

I'm having a late in life dance renaissance where now I like to dance when I go places. If there's dancing, I want to go dance. Okay. Describe the scenario because I'm having a hard time figuring out where to go dancing. I like to go to, let's say, like Hot Dog Sunday at El Cid. Oh, yeah. Like a nice gay dance party? And if it's like 5 p.m. and no one's out there dancing yet, oh, bitch.

You'll lay the groundwork. Yes. It's like I love, like we were at karaoke the other night. No one's singing. That's what I'm singing. Sure I'm gonna sing while no one wants to hear me anyway Yeah, and then I'm just gonna get out of the way and move on sing Then all night I can go somebody's just saying I sang Granted how if you weren't here and it was a b-52 song that was all speech and spoken that doesn't somebody saying yeah y'all are really um i don't know about uh

karaoke but dancing is great we had some crazy meet and greets on this tour yeah we had some uh insults hurled at us we've had some um a lot of we had one yesterday two days ago who was that one that girl said you're prettier than she is before she brought up and walked away you know it's like and also she's obviously lying it's like it's like she's i know but listen then we had somebody say i'm very fragile oh we told people about that yeah we told them three four times already yeah yeah we we had the the tricksy the fake tricksy that was pretty good one that was great oh and then we had the lovely woman who gave us $20. Love her. $20 bill. $20 bills. Well, there's that one.

We had her in Vegas once. There's that one drag show goer who always brings every drag queen a crisp $100 bill. Oh, yes. She was in Phoenix, I believe.

Last for my solo show. In an envelope. In an envelope. Crispy bill. Crispy bill with like your name on it. Like a Christmas card from your grandma.

Yeah, fabulous. And then our friend, the doctor, who always gives us some kind of cash. I just your grandma. Yeah, fabulous. And then our friend, the doctor, who always gives us some kind of cash. I just hung up, yeah, I just hung up

the gorgeous framed cross section of a high heeled foot, lower foot. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. She gave me a Dave and Buster's gift card. I think I'm going to go

this afternoon. That's a great idea. I love to put in my AirPods and blast house music and play Dave and Buster's. Play Dave and Buster's video games Oh I'm like pushing kids I'm like you're done

Wait it's the You're kids there At the Dave and Buster's In Hollywood Oh I thought it was an adult arcade But they serve liquor They have kids there sometimes

I bet you can go with your parents Oh That sucks Yeah I was Well the first leg of the tour I was on a big Dave and Buster's kick

There was this game called SpongeBob's Pineapple Arcade And if you collect All seven of the tour, I was on a big Dave & Buster's kick. There was this game called SpongeBob's Pineapple Arcade. And if you collect all seven of the character cards, you got the prize, which was 3,000 tickets. And I went to about five Dave & Buster's on tour, and I finally got all the cards and redeemed them. 3,000 tickets. What did you get? I got a necklace that says winner. Isn't that great?

Sometimes you just need to feel Like I just need Like what is her laughing I worked so hard on that That was like a serial killers monologue No I spent That was like a serial killers monologue I spent so much money

Trying to win too There was 3,000 tickets I went to all the locations Finally got it Where'd you get Winner necklace It's so crazy You know what

I have my stack of Swans drug cards in there I'm gonna go to the Hollywood one today And I'm gonna win again You should You shouldn't throw it In the face of young

I love that I love the zombie arm Where you put the quarter And the zombie arm Just swipes And hits one of those pucks And they say like 20 tickets

Honor tickets I gotta get into this game I also love this other one Where um Pop It's called like Pop lock Where it's like a giant combination lock and the thing's like, and you have to touch it on the, when you touch it on the

light, it goes back the other way. I like games like that. Oh, fun changing directions. That's fun. It's fun. Do you dance Dance Revolution? No. Is that old?

That's old news? I don't really even get how to play it. I think it's just like a dance where they tell you to dance. It looks hard. It's super hard and tell you to dance. It looks hard. It's super hard. And it's not fun. It looks hard. I have my little rounds.

I have my little places I like to go. Ski ball? Yes. Ski ball? Basketball? Basketball? Duck hunt? Duck hunt?

Clowns? Furry clowns? Oh, okay. Where they're like, you know. Oh, sure, sure, sure. Love that. Whack-a-mole. There's this game

Where you have Ping pong balls And you have to It's like Beer pong Beer pong Yeah Love that

Okay Beer pong with no drinking These are all like Real analog Old school type of like Yeah I'm not gonna like Sit in like a slot machine And like push a button

I want something physical Oh I did that And let me tell you Was it depressing Kelly loves it Yeah I mean I guess it's a strange thing To love shoveling money into a furnace, but that's what it is like.

I mean, at least with the furnace, you get the fire crackle. Yeah. With the slot machine, it's just like, why don't I just empty out my wallet into the trash? Emptying out my wallet into the trash. But sometimes people win. Nobody I know has ever won, but some people win. Sometimes people win.

And I guess that's why people keep doing it. But it's very, very strange to me. And you can't smoke. My mom and my stepdad worked at the casino. What do they do? Blackjack? Well, in Wisconsin, at least, they're only on the reservation. But is that everywhere in America?

They're only on the reservation? No, no, they have casinos everywhere. They do? Las Vegas, Atlantic City. Right? In Wisconsin, I think most of them are on reservations. That could be. And they have to be

Owned and operated by Native Americans Don't they Yeah That's like a reservation Kind of like Reparations Yeah

I remember my stepdad Was a security guard And my mom I think Was some kind of Maybe a dealer or something Ugh It's dark and horrible I'm sure it's just

Stupid and boring Yeah Yeah It's like working at the mall Probably He's playing cards You know who loves it Straight guys I think straight guys I'm sure it's just stupid and boring. Yeah. Yeah. It's like working at the mall probably. Who is playing cards? You know who loves it?

Straight guys. I think straight guys all have a dream of being like a professional card player. Poker. Poker champion. They want to wear sunglasses and have headphones in and like win a million dollars. Yeah. It's like. Yeah. It's cool.

Jennifer Tilly playing poker. That's cool. Yeah. Why don't you ask? Why don't you ask Sharon Stone in Casino if she thinks that's cool? Yeah. Ask Ginger before she takes all those pills and kills herself. Does she die in that movie? I'm not sure I think she does. I oh I used to love that scene where he's like showing her her closet for the first time

And it's like a store. Mmm. Yeah ginger, which by the way, we're looking at stores right now for something else Storefronts, but I visit I store i toured the storefront that right now is a clothing store it's all racks and shelves and part of me was like i wish i had my drag set up like somewhere that looked like a store oh yeah i guess so when i go get in drag yeah it's like shopping time to go shopping clueless living the clueless i mean that's great though sharon stone actually billy b was telling us a story about Sharon Stone. She has this dry clean conveyor. You know, at the dry cleaners,

they have the conveyor belts that go all the way through. She has that in her closet. Yeah. Wow. Like for her outfits. And she, you know, puts her leg up on the thing and just presses the button and waits for the outfit to come.

Did you see that video I sent you of her talking about Indigo Dye? No. No. I heard you talking about it though, and I don't of her talking about Indigo Die? No. No. I heard you talking about it though and I don't believe it's true. You gotta watch it. She's great. Listen,

she's, she's, she's, she is the moment. She is the moment and she gives us so many, this is what it takes. Yeah.

Yep, folks, this is what it takes. This is what it takes. Oh, we're done. Oh my God. Speaking of Sharon Stone,

it's time to go home. Bye. Bye. Bye.