The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Witch Goddess of the Woods with Pearl

Episode Date: March 30, 2021

From a mysterious cabin in the remote wilderness comes a guest with beauty credentials that are truly unprecedented in the history of the podcast. The otherworldly deity of the forest, also known as Pearl, joins Trixie and Katya for an amazing conversation about beauty buses, glitter secrets, the magic of wilderness weed, and the joys of avoiding humanity. Check out our show and many hilarious other pods featured on Stitcher's first-ever Comedy Week! In app or at: Stitcherapp.com/comedy Follow Pearl: @pearliaison Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To listen to our podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TBATBYT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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stop-loss orders on Kraken. An easy way to plan ahead. Go to kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. Welcome to another riveting episode of The Bald and the Beautiful featuring Trixie Mattel and myself. That's right. Who are you? It's party time. I'm Katya. Okay. Did I not mention that?

No, you did. Thank you. No, thank you. We are in episode, I don't know, 1520? 1520, 75, who knows? Who's counting? Because we don't got time to count because we're just on the run. We're making money moves. Yeah. Yeah.

And today we have a guest that honestly, probably the most qualified people to ever speak about beauty. That's true. We have, and listen, that is among a very dense roster of extremely qualified beauty people. Yeah. And this one, it's a deep field. It's a deep field. Somebody we had to hunt down. I have.

You don't even know the paper trail, the breadcrumbs, the machinations, the schemes and the scams that I've enacted in order to wrangle this guest for the good. I mean, I would say the better part of 16, 17 months, even before it was a text. It was a text. Let's get it straight. I had, I put in a text.

I had written a letter. I read the letter over the text. It was a whole, it was, it was a lot. It was 17 to return phone calls. And finally I got in contact with her family. And then they just, they gave me her personal number.

And then here we are with Pearl. Pearl. Thank you so much for being here, Pearl. How are you? I'm good, sis. Thank you. Thanks for having me. I feel like not very qualified to be here, but here I am.

Are you kidding? No, listen. The potency of your artistry and your talent just so irrelevant but here i are here i am with oh relevance relevance in the face of beauty nothing nothing i just had i don't even know where to start because you are somebody whose work since we met you has truly been actually something i give a fuck to follow if you don't mind we're gonna lick your ass for just a few moments. Yeah, I agree. Honestly. Yeah, yeah.

What have you been up to? I don't know. I've been kind of doing the housewife thing, but also just the... I don't know. I feel like I'm in a secret window just working on my art in this cabin

in the woods, i'm also like married so i don't know just vary that i envy your life oh girl these i really do these like um witch goddess of the woods pictures you have the nerve to post oh my god oh you forgot to like and comment this new thing you're doing with your eye too like the two semi-circles like above and below and there you have you've been doing this highlight that looks like the morticia adams light do you know what i'm talking about when in the adam's family when morticia adams is that like cross beam across her eyes of light it has that effect it's really really cool thank you yeah the eyes are kind of new. Honestly, they do. I do kind

of look like Steve Buscemi before the lashes go. What did you say? What did you say? She looks like Steve Buscemi before the lashes. Who is very beautiful. We stan. Yes, of course. But do you do like a soft or no bottom liner sometimes, right? No, like I have to do a bright white like waterline. Okay. The individual lashes, just it's a must. But no dark underline? No, I will do a line like under the white.

Under the white, okay. Under the white, yeah. But I do like to keep it blank as well. I have never been able to do that. You're on the younger side of life. Are you 30 yet? She's 30. 30.

Okay. But you're just 30. I was going to say, because for a woman of his... Oh. It's so simple, but effective. The two kind of like lines. Okay. So we're looking at one of your latest photos right now.

Yeah. So you have that, the waterline white, and then you have a graphic line with the bottom lashes, the individuals, and then another sort a graphic line with the bottom lashes the individuals and then another sort of accent line underneath that is like she's young enough to be drawing lines around the eyes if I tried to draw a graphic line underneath my eyes

it would look like fucking palliative like palliative care I don't have perfect skin under my eyes it's just technique come up she up to the mountains she said i'm just as ugly as you i'm just a better makeup artist you fucking oh no i didn't say that were you i was talking with andrew about that would you would you do my makeup pearl i would love to okay i'm coming up the mountain i'm coming up the mountain this weekend i'm like

an hour and a half i think she can tackle this yeah i She does ceramics, so I think she can tackle this. Yeah. I said she does ceramics, so I think she can tackle this, right? I want to be a lady of the woods, lady of the lake. Will you do that for Ruru? It's definitely a vibe. It's definitely a vibe. I wouldn't have it any other way. But yeah, we are like sitting on this nomadic journey, though, in this bus that we're building. So we'll always come back here as like a home base.

We really found like, like where we want to be at least for a while for now. Yeah. Are you near deep Creek? Until eventually we buy property. Are you near deep Creek? Is that where you were on your Instagram the other day? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I'm like a 20 minute drive from deep. Oh my God. I had the time of my life there. I had the time of my life there. I had the time of my life there.

Did you go in through the north or the south entrance? We went down to enter because coming back up, Mary, Mary. Yeah, it's everything. It was like four runyons. Yeah, you have to take

breaks. Yeah, bring lots of snacks. You know what they said it was going to take an hour? We did it in 35 fucking minutes. Yeah, you have to take breaks. Yeah, bring lots of snacks. They said it was going to take an hour. We did it in 35 fucking minutes. Oh, nice. Well, did you go in, though, through the North Hike or the South Hike? I don't know. Because the South Hike is brutal, but you probably went in through the North Hike because that's where the tourists come in.

The way we exited was the most brutal hike I've ever been on in my life. Yeah. Anyway, the creek, though, is amazing. And the hot springs are amazing. Dick's Balls and Pussies. Yeah, we go there often. Yeah, it was beautiful. I mean, honestly, you're probably the first guest where I haven't had to brief myself on your career because I truly watch everything you do.

Oh, my God. And if you're comfortable, can you tell us a little bit about the bus? I just watched that today, by the way. Holy crap. So in your husband is very handsome. Yeah. He is gorgeous. Yeah.

And so nice. Oh my God. He is honestly, yeah. I don't, I have no idea why he's into me. Like I'm like a fucking serrated edge of a fucking butcher knife. And personality wise compared to him and he's like

this super gentle like like i honestly don't know why he is still with me because i'm so fucking rotted in comparison to him but anyway it's just like he makes me look in a lot. But yeah, we are building our bus. It's pretty glamorous. I don't know. I've just always been interested in tiny houses, and I've always wanted to build a van or something. So just with COVID and everything, the opportunity presented itself,

and it was a good time, and we're up here. We live two minutes from a lumber yard so oh that was my first thought is living where you live i'm like how do they get all these you got a lot of tools ho you're gonna stand right there and it's on everything literally we just drive through like five minutes through this little forested area and there's a lumber yard right there so it's like weird everything's i hate to say it because so many people are struggling but it's been like a really beautiful year you know just being able to take a breath not like give a shit about traveling and

social media and blah blah blah just be like focusing on myself you know yeah my relationship and my life, you know? So it's been good. If anybody has a moment, Pearl's YouTube, Pearl Bazaar, besides the makeup videos and the character of Roxanne, which we will get to. Yeah, oh yeah. It's not just the renovation of the bus.

It's the fact that you're doing it by hand and the fact that you can tell as a viewer that you are winging it. Yeah. Oh, we are. We are, we totally are. You're not like Bob Biel, but it comes out great.

Everything just designs itself after a while, really, because you just run into so many limitations as you're building. So eventually it's like, okay, well, we can't do that, so this is the only option. And then you just kind of work around it. I don't know.

It's really cool. It's amazing. And it's fun. The hand-painted trees like hand-done wallpaper effect oh we didn't have any trees but you did what are those little trees on the walls in the bus no we have like we have like a hawaiian print behind our storage doors like we made these store our wardrobe doors and they have like a, like a vintage Hawaiian behind it. So maybe that's what you're thinking.

It's just crazy what you're doing. So when you're done with it, your hope and dream is to basically be like nomadic. Well, for a while, but ultimately we want to buy some property and then just start building out like a little bit of an oasis for us and family. And then eventually,

you know, Jeremy has like this Reiki practice and he does like all this healing stuff. So, and he has a, like a small, but loyal clientele. It's all he really needs to work. So,

you know, they can come to the experience, come and experience the oasis and it can be like you know like a business kind of thing as well so that's cool how exciting when you downsize when you're going to be hitting the road are you going to bring drag and yes no i'm going to be like doing drag and you know the desert and the woods and by the river. Girl, it's a rebrand. We're working this rebrand, sis. No, it's not only a great rebrand because it's cool.

It's also a great rebrand because I don't think other drag queens are striving to have things like limitations. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, I need this, girl. Like, I've had a couple of slumpy years, so I need like, now what for you is a slumpy year? What for you is a slumpy year? What do you, what do you mean by that? Um, well, you know, just like existential crisis, not knowing who I am, what I'm doing,

if I even love drag or like, I like definitely knowing I don't, I can't do it full time. I don't have the stamina or the financial resources, you know, with what I'm willing to do, like travel wise. And I don't know, I just couldn't, I couldn't like get ready in dusty basements across the world anymore. You know, you guys know. Yeah, we know. Yeah. We've all been, we've all been miserable on the road. We've all been we've all been miserable on the road and like nothing that you can do or say can change that fact you know like we're all faking it most of the time we're on the road i think that's for me as somebody who consumes your content though that's part of the appeal to me is that it's refreshing to see somebody who is getting in drag only when they want.

Yes. Oh yeah. Very, very. I, cause I really, really am. I'm not,

I'm, I'm inspired, but I'm also reassured by your presence in drag because I know that you're only doing it if you want to. Well, well, like there's like this part of me that really really loves fucking drag you know like i'll always love it and i'll always love the art of transformation yeah and when i don't do it for a while i do start to miss it yeah me too so um but yeah there's also this element of just keeping

up with the fucking joneses okay like when there's all these plastic tiaras and freaking Gigi. Well, that's a losing battle. Oh, right. Okay. It's like, just... Kim traveled with... Kim traveled with plastic for a while. She said it just made her want to quit. Yeah, half of them I wouldn't

even take a picture with. Not because I don't like them, but because I don't want to look like fucking a toad. Are you on tiktok pearl uh no like i said i can barely log into my email so i can like i'm just figuring out instagram stories okay i'm not on tiktok yet if anybody hasn't but i did i did kind of like ban tiktok a little bit though like with all of the the like protests and everything that were happening last year. TikTok, there was like a scandal with TikTok. And I honestly can't even think of what it is right now. But I was like, fuck TikTok. I mean, there's a big public post about it. And I just kind of can't go to TikTok. Great. Stay away. That's my advice. But I feel like I was doing TikTok before TikTok came around, you know, I was doing nothing but making these 30 second long videos on Instagram

and they were, you know, kind of interesting, but also kind of weird to be on Instagram, which wasn't really working. And then TikTok came along and I was like, okay, this is probably where I should be featuring this content. And then, you know, I fucked myself. Yeah. I love your content is so varied too. Like the video of you building that waterfall where I should be featuring this content. And then, you know, I fucked myself. Yeah. I love, your content is so varied too. Like the video of you building that waterfall in your house. Oh yeah.

It's like very random, isn't it? We just like, like to do fun projects together. We wanted to hear some running water. So we decided to make a waterfall. It's really fierce. And which I think you built it from like styrofoam styrofoam and cement yeah well we met in hawaii yeah we really styrofoam and cement yeah it's really cool wow so we met in hawaii and we go to hawaii well we did go to hawaii a lot before you know pandemic and waterfalls are a thing.

We always try to hike waterfalls, waterfalls, waterfalls. So we were here and we just wanted to, like, get into that fantasy because we're obviously not near any waterfalls. Right. Do you, are you, is it lonely up there in the mountains? Hell no. No.

She's like, it's not lonely enough. Who do I, like, it's not lonely enough. Miss, who do I miss? Amy, Amy still finds her about every three weeks up in the mountains, hunts her down. Oh my God.

She does. Yeah. Amy is pretty much like the only one that visits me regularly, but. Can I seriously come up? No, I don't, I don't ever miss anybody.

That's great. Sometimes I tell Jeremy, like you got to go for a night or two,'m just kidding you're gonna get a hobby bitch yeah do you um so you moved to l you're in new york you moved to la here for a time then you moved up in the mountains how long were you in la for about a year a year and then you were like fuck this i need to go to the mountains yeah well my rent was just so high and my rent in new york was just as high and i thought i would move here and be saving money and i thought it would be more peaceful but i found like a really great apartment in las filas which you know is obviously a very expensive part of town and yeah i just couldn't afford it

and i didn't want to afford it you You know what I mean? So, um, I took Jeremy up here on one of our first dates, like when he moved back here from Hawaii and yeah, it just popped in my head. Like, why don't we just move there? It's only an hour and a half away from the city, you know,

on a bad day in traffic. And my rent is like the cheapest rent I've ever paid in my entire adult life really and it's just like everything they got grocery stores up there girl yes okay like really fancy like chic little markets it's all like thrift stores antique stores and is it like two yeah but there's also there's also liberals and there's a lot of like queer people yeah when I was there when I was there at Christine McConnell's

house over by Pearl I was shocked at the number of like looks like a hippie colony and then Trump sign and then like it's very high low it was wild yeah I noticed that too at a certain point like driving to and back from the deep creek, I was like, where the fuck are we?

Yeah. Are we in Montana? There's this one road that we call Arian Alley because there's like five Trump flags that you cross as you're driving down. Yeah. And our neighbors are kind of bullshit, but it's like really quiet and peaceful. So you just, I don't know, like it doesn't bother me. It's like, whatever. Right. What am I going to do like it doesn't bother me it's like whatever what am I gonna do

like not live up here because there's Trump supporters around like whatever you can't go anywhere then you know what one of those Republicans is gonna be there's Trump supporters in LA honestly yeah one of those Republicans is gonna be walking through the woods one day and they're gonna spot a beautiful white witch

crawling through the snow and their whole mind is gonna change it's already happened. Well, I don't know about the mind changing part. You're out there in furs and they're about to shoot. They think you're an animal. They see Roxanne. Oh my god, we have

to pivot. Before we pivot to Roxanne, can I ask about some of your celebrity transformations? You've done an incredible Sarah Jessica Parker. Oh yeah. And an amazing Drew Barrymore. Have either transformations you've done an incredible incredible sarah jessica parker oh yeah yeah and an amazing very more have either like noticed yeah drew very more shared it on her page and this is crazy um she actually reached out and asked me to come and do her makeup at her house. So it was crazy because I just landed in LA. I was living in New York at the time.

And I'm like, yeah, she lives in Malibu. Of course I can make the time to go do it. Of course. So I rearranged my whole schedule. And the next morning, and it's ironic because you know who was my manager at the time, but he calls me and he's like, I'm so sorry, drew barrymore had to cancel she's not feeling well today and i'm like oh well that's too bad and then like four or five hours later she posts a picture on her instagram riding around in a car with cameron diaz like no makeup hashtag no makeup, hashtag no makeup day. Hashtag.

And I was just like, I got duped like because of Cameron Diaz and I live. Yeah. Like that's honestly, could you blame her? I mean, what if she was running around with James Charles? Right.

Yeah. So before we talk about Roxanne, we have to take a break. Oh, yes. Taking a break. This episode is brought to you by CIBC. From closing that first sale to opening a second store, as a business owner, you've hustled to accomplish a lot. But the rewards don't stop there. When you earn two times more points on things that matter to you and your business, easily track those business expenses, and experience flexible Aventura rewards,

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Your cousin's kid's birthday, dollar plus tax. And the next day that ends in a Y, one dollar plus tax. One dollar small premium roast coffee every single day. Must be McCafe. Plus tax at participating restaurants in Canada. Prices exclude delivery. And we're back. We're back with Pearl. Can we talk about probably one of the most exciting things I've ever seen somebody do with their drag? Yeah. Roxanne. roxanne i've seen every video multiple times yeah i've i've watched i've watched i've watched the videos i get something new every time a new joke every time yeah and you so you do everything you you obviously do all the makeup you put a full face on top of another face and then on top of prosthetics and you just edit you do all the

editing yourself and upload it yourself it's treacherous work how did you come up with it must be done it's treacherous work but it must somebody has to do it well i was just coming into like my youtube career my budding youtube career and um i just knew that i couldn't be traveling anymore so i was like maybe i can get into youtube like james charles is obviously super rich and famous like if i could have one percent of that you know what i mean and i would just sit down and do these youtube videos and i'd have like an out-of-body experience like this is so fucking gay you know what i mean like i cannot do this so she just i felt like roxanne like sitting there trying to do it i'm like i have way too many stories i am way too bent and

broken to be like playfully putting on blush and lipstick like it's not going out so i just like i just took the storyline and like turned it into this character who has like been through it all. She like dragged her body through broken glass to get to this laptop to edit this YouTube video and just like be fake. And like, you know, just what is on YouTube basically. Really? That's what I like about it. It's this very like studied and astute critique on influencer

beauty people. Yeah. It takes the sans-fard, no makeup look and pushes it to a grotesque extreme. But then the result though, once you take your makeup artistry and actually put a face on that. She's

stunning. Stunning. It really does turn out stunning. She's beautiful. you like you take your makeup artistry and like actually put a face on that she's stunning stunning i mean it does turn out like stunning like she's beautiful even though like not joking though do you really lose use the sally henson leg spray as the foundation yeah it's everything we get it we get it we have to include a clip can we um include a clip of um an audio clip of the yeah okay there is this amazing clip i love about the time she's talking about falling off the boat and it's the guns and roses and she's like if you know me you know that's my song

I watched that also when she takes the glasses off and she goes I know it's pretty bad I know it's scary you guys she's like what's sad is it's gotten a lot she's like it's gotten a lot better. It's so, and you know what the funny thing is? How long does that makeup, her no makeup makeup look, how long does it take?

Yeah. Oh, God. It takes like an hour and a half after I get the lips on to get into the zombie. And then like another hour and a half to get into the makeup yeah to adhere those lips i'm curious about that and does and do they stay on i mean what do you use to put those on it's crazy it is different every single time like it'll be great one time and then the next time it's like i've never even done it before you know what i mean um but i got it down to like a little bit of science and eventually started making my own lips so i kind of had my own little method but i don't know i

would do shows as her and they would stay on and it was fine but i just like definitely have i'm aware of it i can't just like you know just like be doing whatever yeah kind of like with the lips yeah yeah but um i i would love to see because like my i mean. Yeah. Kind of like with the lips. Yeah. But I would love to see, cause like my, I mean, I have to be honest, like in terms of American drag race, my attention span is kind of dipping a little bit here and there, but I would love to see Queens go on the show

as characters. Yeah. And just like Roxanne, I feel like would sweep the competition. I agree. Wouldn't that be incredible? I mean, I think? I mean I think that's a huge part of

doing drag is like you know obviously having you know like a thing obviously like works for some of us. But I think it's also cool to be like this SNL skit of drag you know where you can just totally change

what you're doing every single day like why not um but yeah if obviously all-stars is never going to happen for me but if i take one all-stars roxanne would be there she would be like tearing it up do the children chase you do the children comment you have to do all-stars do the children dm you of course they do yeah i don't think they realize like you don't re-audition, you know, like on all stars. Oh, right. Right. Yeah.

But so, so for someone like you, who is, I mean, I mean, you can, you are very beautiful in and out of drag and, and then in drag,

you have like a very kind of transcendent beauty. Do you love looking ugly? I can't even listen to, I can't even listen to this. Like I do not. It's the truth. Whether you can accept the compliment or not, you are so wonderful.

You don't have to accept the compliment. It just the truth whatever um so but do you love because i love looking ugly on purpose i absolutely love looking ugly i love looking beautiful and i love looking ugly even more like i do these really twisted thin-lipped like nasty housewife characters as well and i literally just want to go grocery shopping like that you know what i mean like i want to just live like i feel more yeah like at home when i'm just as like kim the the super nanny you know what i mean yeah then then being like pearl i don't know just like you also did like a Vicky, what is their name? Vicky.

Gunvalson. Yeah. Such a serve. Nasty. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. I just love looking like a rotted middle-aged woman.

I don't know. And then you get out of the makeup and you're like, I'm so young and perfect. It reminds you of how beautiful you, I feel like dressing up ugly. Just get tired of being beautiful. Right. Just get tired of being beautiful. Right. Tired of being beautiful.

Right. If you want to feel great, like remember when Tyra, remember when Tyra on television. Oh yeah. Did certain things that you probably wouldn't do now. Certain fat suits. And then she was like,

I was in a fat suit for a day. So now I understand. Yes. I was in a fat suit for three hours. So now I get it. Right. Yeah. Now I get it.

And then she, um, and then she got caught wearing that swimsuit and she looked fat in it and then she like wore the swimsuit on her show to prove that she wasn't fat to be brave to be vulnerable and brave

and then she's like kiss my foot you remember that yes god so I mean she's probably one of the worst talk show hosts and terrible models but who is god bless her oh sure whatever i um who is your i get i get an enjoyment entertainment out of tyra banks you love her i could i could fall asleep with that shit just like i just saw this meme that was like housewives full volume bickering and

then me sleeping to it it was like somebody calmly sleeping next to it oh my god i can't sleep unless bethany frankel is like crying and screaming hysterically in my ear what is your favorite housewives franchise like a location potomac potomac sorry oh potomac Potomac is lit that fight was crazy Which one? The fight was crazy Oh yeah absolutely They teased it all season like it was going to be punty And then when it happened it was so violent And so evil

What happened? I know it went dark I felt so bad for Wendy I felt really bad for Wendy She was like I did not sign up for this She was like shook I loved not sign up for this. She was like, shook. No, I loved Ashley coming back from the bathroom. Because she was like peeing.

And then getting completely involved in the court. Yes. In the lawsuit. It's crazy. She was like the only one who wasn't there. I love that bird to Chala. My heart. Oh my God.

I know. I was like ready to take a bullet for Monique. Like everything she did, she could do no wrong until the whole way she handled the fight ensued. But the parrot, everything about her is just queen shit in my eyes. Yeah. But yeah, I do love Potomac and I love New York. I mean, it's the best. Yeah, if you want to check out some unchecked alcoholism at full volume, watch New York. It's crazy. Oh, my God.

What about in the realm of models, actresses, blah, blah, blah. Who would you say are your top three beauty icons? God, I am so sick of these questions, you guys. What did she say? I'm so sick of them. I'm so sick of this question. When you're doing the drag race circuit, isn't that question just like railed into

your head over and over again? I've never been asked that question. You haven't? No. People actually ask you substantial questions and want to know other things. I guess as a drag queen... Yeah, we can talk about it.

I guess as a drag queen or beauty creator, who's somebody who just makes you like, oh shit, I want to get in a wig now? Who inspires you? Anybody? No, not really. It's even better. I don't know. I don't do drag because like, I don't know. Let me think. Like, I don't know. Like, it really just comes like what I want to wear is what makes me get into drag. I'm like, ooh, like my like all these wigs I've been making recently. I was just like, like oh i really want to start like making my own wigs again i want them to be really long and woodsy like fairy girl running through the woods hair so i don't know i just made them and now i get into drag that and

i get into drag designed around the wig you know it's not really like i'm not really like i've never i don't know like of course i love like old hollywood blonde bombshells and all that shit but like yes you have not like making me get into drag you know right right right you have what she's inspired by acorns acorns and the trees pine trees yes yeah rivers streams i'm really inspired by the squirrels from the sword of the stone and yeah i find nature madam mim madam mim inspires me the witch from sword in the Stone. There you go. Oh, there you go. There you go.

She's like the little hobbit, and then she turns into a beautiful woman with long hair. You ever seen Sword in the Stone? No. You guys suck. Whatever. Is this like a new movie? Is this like, is that Picard?

Is that an old movie? The Sword in the Stone? Is this like an old movie? I was at James Charles' house once, and I asked him, what do you think an old horror movie is? And he said, Scream. Scream. Yeah, that doesn't surprise me.

It's 2010, isn't it? Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's like 1988. Oh, okay. Yeah. He was saying it's probably 2002. Well, what's like your favorite old horror movie? Mine's Sleepaway Camp. Good one. I've never seen that. I've never seen sleepaway camp

watch it tonight is that the one with the crazy um i wouldn't say it's the most sensitive depiction a trans character yes but got it got it yeah um i i stay away from i like to stay away from cabin movies movies that like cabin in the woods oh my god i love it even though i live in a cabin in the woods i love it i just love sleeping like you get scared at night there seriously i did at first but i don't anymore why not is it the wig i just love it i don't know i watch forensic files all night i don't care i just like love it really i love to be creeped out i love scary movies i love thriller movies of horror movies it's like my favorite shit. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen?

Scary, scary to the bone chilling. Oh my God. High tension. Have you seen it? It's a French film. Yes, I have. Mary, that movie is fucking insane. What's it about? That and... Oh, go ahead. No, no, no. That and Ichi the Killer.

What's that? Have you seen Ichi the Killer? no say it again that's the most Ichi the Killer it's a Japanese movie I think it's Japanese I haven't seen that one

that's like terrible as well it's just like another crazy foreign film that's psychotic you gotta watch you gotta watch High Tension there's a crazy twist at the end, but that movie is fucking great. It starts

out with this guy, this monster guy getting a blowjob from a decapitated head. Oh, work. Tuesday. Quarantine. We're gonna take a break. And we're

back. Oh, we're back. Wow. and we're back oh we're back wow so if anybody hasn't followed I'm serious your YouTube content is so varied and

yeah it's lit crunk and turd you also don't post every other day so when you do post it's like okay this is a pro video I'm sitting down

and watching it oh my god is that really how you feel I've watched your videos yes I've watched them and also

some of the makeup techniques, you have the generousness of sharing. You did this thing where you said, instead of doing glitter on your inner eye, you do white dots now. I sat here on this couch on my TV going, okay. And then halfway through the dots,

I was like, holy shit. It does look like glitter. White dots. Tiny teeny white dots you technique hun it's unmatched your makeup artistry has always been ridiculous

but like now more than ever you look like a fucking I don't even know what I really want to come can I come up and get my makeup done come to the mountain I would love it can I sleep over you can sleep on the bus yeah I would love it even besides makeup Can I sleep over? Do you allow guests? Yeah, you can sleep on the bus, girl.

She does makeup on the bus. Yeah, I would love it. We can also do my hair. Even besides makeup, we can just keep keep. We can be friends and stuff. Are you still smoking the weed? Oh my God, girl. That is my biggest expense. It's more than my rent, honestly.

Work. If anyone listening has a private grower, please DM me, email me, get in touch. So you go to the store, or you send away a delivery service to get the wacky weed? God. We had this guy who was a private grower, and he was giving us the best deals ever.

He passed on. And then he died. died no but he no longer does that so now we're buying it from the stores and it's like fucking killing me it's like between the taxes and yeah just is it expensive i'm a very avid cannabis consumer how much is weed um it's like two hundred dollars an ounce for like this much and how much does an ounce get you through if you're like a casual smoker well i live with my boyfriend so it's kind of hard to gauge but you're like i'm in a wig in the woods i'm not a casual smoker we can smoke an ounce of weed in like a week like a week okay that's like two hundred dollars week yeah $100 a month hun

no that really is like rent again yeah yeah you know water's wet weed's expensive what are you gonna do exactly yeah and do you ever do like do you smoke like you roll up a fat blunt and smoke it like that no I just like

I'm old school I like to burn flour and like a big fat bong rip okay just like bongs big straight guy college energy i'm like bill and ted bogus adventure with my weed consumption i really it's just what i am it's just what i do i don't like do drugs anymore i barely drink but i do love i love the idea of seeing the lady of the woods with this flaxen hair all 36 inches and then just taking a big bong. Choking on weed. Choking on smoke. She's sprinting

through the snow with a bong choking. It's awesome. So she flies on the bong across the moon. Yeah. My god. After decades of shaky hands Oh, my God. 58 answered questions, two focused ultrasound procedures, one specially developed helmet, thousands of high-intensity focused ultrasound waves, zero incisions. And that very same day, two steady hands.

From innovation to action, Sunnybrook is special. Learn more at sunnybrook.ca slash special. Turn off hesitation. Turn off doubt. Turn off fears. The YMCA of Greater Toronto helps you turn off whatever's holding you back so you can let your potential shine. Turn on confidence. Turn on connections.

Turn on possibilities. There are hundreds of programs and services available at the Y. See what you can achieve at ymcagta.org. This will be the day. See what you can achieve at YMCAGTA.org. It's really not important to me to have a lot of things to show off. Fancy cars, you know, a giant home. Those things are just not part of who I am. But I've been coached and I've learned through my advisor that it's not one size fits all. Everyone has their own preferences.

Everything that I do with Edward Jones is tailored to who I am. Edward Jones. We do money differently. Visit edwardjones.ca slash different. Are you still finding time to do any sculptures, mixed media? I just did my first commission in like a year. Yeah. We have one of your sculptures at David's house and we love it.

Oh, is that? We have Darcelle. Oh yeah. Yeah. I delivered that one. I remember I came in and took a little, little tricksy visit. Yeah. She's gorgeous. I love your sculptures. I think Juno Birch is going through the same thing because she does YouTube a lot now. And so she doesn't have as much time to sculpt. Yeah. It's a lot of commitment well i mean ideally i would just love to have like a room set up where you can just walk in and do it it just becomes a thing when you're pulling it all out doing it putting it away and i just have my hands in so many like artistic pots i guess you gotta get a studio just you need a studio yeah well that's why I came up here I have like room I have an extra like room oh that's great

yeah I leave my YouTube shit set up full time now because I used to take like break it down whatever that's a whole nother thing leave it up in the east wing in there though you should see it it's like CBS Studios it's like CBS Studios in there CBS Studios they do the news here but you know when you're trying to be creative

when there's a whole hour of setup but like before it you're like well girl it's like a very legitimate all like second career for you so why wouldn't you have a fucking studio in the next room like does that wouldn't make sense not to yeah it's it's it's believe me it's modest it's a small room we the lights are flat up against the wall and the seamless is flat up against the other wall. Whatever works. That's the thing about YouTube. You can be in a closet and no one would know. You can put a green screen

behind you just like fucking Roxanne and you can be in a mansion and nobody would know. It's crazy what you can build. Especially with makeup, the illusion is to make it look like you're a big, fancy Revlon company. It's like half the time.

I'm like, who do you think took that product picture? Me and my underwear in that room. Yeah. You fucking bitch. Do you have any aspirations to ever do television again? Um, I guess it would just depend on the project.

I mean, uh, I like the idea of being like super private I mean, I like the idea of being super private, but I also like the idea of just broadcasting my creative stuff in any way that's good and positive. But I wouldn't be in reality competition shit anymore. I wouldn't do that. Well, that's harder than anything.

And I don't think people realize that. That's the hardest type of TV there is. It's garbage and you're only making networks rich and you're not really getting anything out of it yourself. If you're on Drag Race, obviously that's a different story. But usually you're just going on there to entertain their

masses and they get paid and you get your little $250 stipend or whatever. And a pack of fruit snacks thrown at you by a PA if you're lucky. A sweaty PA. Right. Well, maybe someday when you buy your property and you want to like renovate or build, I hope you put on your YouTube.

I love... Oh, I would. The whole thing. Like eventually me and my boyfriend would love to like build a garage and just build tiny houses and like put them on trailers and just ship them out one at a time and record it and document it. I went through a tiny house shopping phase where I was thinking of buying a tiny house and putting it on a plot in Wisconsin in my hometown. And I ultimately passed. But it must be very lucrative because even a cheap tiny home is tens of thousands of dollars if you're buying it, not self-building it. Okay.

Yeah. I mean, we bought our bus for $5,000. And we're putting like, you know, obviously the bare minimum into it. But we could probably sell it at the end of the day for like $70,000, $80,000, $90,000. Flipping buses. Easily. Easily. Especially when you get down to people customizing it.

You know, like. Right. Right. So if like people want to work with us and customize something like that, that's cool. But I kind of would love to just build something totally like crazy glam and like just sell it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Would you ever tour clubs again?

Work with people. Would you ever tour clubs again? Rather than work with people. Would you ever tour clubs again? I'm sorry? Would you ever tour nightclubs again? Oh, yeah, definitely. I just don't want to do it multiple times a week. Yeah. You know?

But I actually love doing it. I love the experience of it, but it just like ruins the experience when you're doing it like all the time. Do you agree? Yeah, I mean, finding the balance. Well, you're sorry. You experience when you're doing it like all the time do you agree yeah i mean finding the balance you're sorry you guys are still actively doing it so you're probably kidding me i gotta tear this i gotta dig her out of a coffin yeah every time we have to do something paperwork before that even gets to that step like but you know i but finding the

balance between like what you're like what you want to do and what you need to do or what you think you need to do. And like, you know, all that stuff is, is tricky and it depends on, depends on a lot of stuff. It changes, but like,

it's stupid though. Cause it shouldn't be tricky. It should be like what your needs should be met. Like if you have that privilege, which we all did, which we all do slash did when we got off of drag race, but we chose to fucking kill ourselves and be miserable most of the time and like get into shit we shouldn't have got get into it like it sucks

so i just kind of refuse yeah you know well as a fan i don't think anybody who follows you feels neglected we still get a lot and it's on your own terms which anybody who really likes you respects that you don't want to be in drag every day. You know what I mean? Well, people are going to see me. More people are going to see me getting into drag in my house and taking a

picture for Instagram. Then they're going to see me in a club. Right. And at their own schedule in their panties. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. I just refuse to like be uncomfortable with this shit anymore. You know? Yeah. Yeah. That's all. Welcome to your thirties. Yeah.

What'd you drink in there? Urine. Whose? Yours or Jeremy's? My own, sweetie. No, it's his. It's a blend. Fetus.

Sorry, I just got really stoned and took a gummy before I got on this and it's like hitting. No, it's apple juice. Apple juice. Can I ask about the gummies? What's a moderate dosage for you? Milligrams. Well, I don't ever feel it. So my boyfriend just like will put like three in my mouth and he'll eat like one.

This feels like an abusive relationship. I can eat like 60 to 80 grams, I guess. So let me tell you about Shirley Temple right here. Did you say 60 to 80? Let me tell you about Shirley Temple right here. Yeah, possibly 100. This girl, she'll take a half a milligram and she'll be butt naked in downtown LA. What's wrong with you?

Well, is there anything this year you want to tackle? What can we as people who follow you expect? Yeah, what's next for Pearl? Do you think you're going to get the bus done this year? Oh yeah, absolutely. We should be done with it in the next month or two. So cool. That is such a gag.

Yeah, so basically we don't want to get rid of this house. So if you guys want like little month long rental moments up in the mountains, let me know. But besides that, yeah, we're just going to be like documenting our like travel experiences. Be like nomadic, cute, gay couple on YouTube. Oh my God. I'll be doing drag out in the woods and I'm going to be designing I have like I'm going to I have like an athleisure collection

coming out so it's going to be like huh Brooks Marks yes exactly that's me that's my aspiration but yeah just like I don't know being cute and loving life.

Especially now that I'm not in the lawsuit anymore. Hey. Yes, freedom. Being cute and loving life. Here's to being as beautiful and talented as Pearl on your own terms. Congratulations, Pearl. Girl, you've done it. Wait, so where can people find you online?

I'm a survivor. Where can people find you online? So where can people find you online? I'm a survivor. Where can people find you online? On Instagram, Pearl Liaison, on YouTube, Pearl Bazaar. And I think that's it. Not no OnlyFans. Not yet.

Not yet. TikTok. Would you spread that hole on video for OnlyFans? I thought about it. My boyfriend is basically like shoving the camera in my face to get it done once i told him how much money people are making um no kidding but yeah he's like trying to pit me out now but you know what i don't know i googled last night how much is the average only fans creator make and it's 180 a month you can't even make an the average is not even anything well

that's the average but like if you a star look at the material look at the material well when my nudes leaked like that was fucking like a hellacious wildfire so i could only imagine like actually getting paid for it might as well i mean the thought crosses my mind but i don't necessarily need it right now and i don't't have like a desire. I'm not like voyeuristic or anything like that. So I don't have like a desire. It's not titillating at this point. Right. I would literally only be doing it for money right now.

But Roxanne fucking. Now Roxanne, I would pay $29.99 a month to see Roxanne's tight gash. Roxanne likes up. Like I wish. Yeah. I thought about that too. There's a whole thing around it it's not just like oh get an only fans post your dick pics it's like get an only fans figure out your marketing

scheme how are you going to market your private photos how much are you going to charge for those you know what i mean like there's all these different things inside the only fans like sharing extra photos for my like everyone that I talked to about it was like, don't ever show anything. Only put it in like the, the pictures that you charge. Yeah, exactly.

So I'm like, wow, thank God that we talked. Cause if I just got an only fans, it would have just been like giving it all away. You know what I mean? There's like a, there's like a method to it.

Yeah. And it's a deep commitment. Creating content like that is not easy. Yeah, it is's a deep commitment. Creating content like that is not easy. Yeah, it is. And it's very- Especially for porn stars, right? Because they're like having to get railed to keep anyone's interest.

And also they're having to- There's a guy I want to have on the pod and the amount of pressure there is because now you're not only up against like, you establish a precedent in your own content creation and rollout that you have to compete with the, I mean, every single one of your colleagues. Right. Every one of them. You're competing for money.

And it's like, Jesus Christ. Anyways. Anyways. Anyways. Well, when you go down that road, Pearl, we will retweet and share. Yes. And I will subscribe. You will?

Oh my God. Thank you. And I will rub my pussy raw to your hot, sexy pics. Thank you. Just don't reshare my art, sis. Oh yeah, I'll also be stealing the photos and using them on Grindr. Thank you so much. I'm coming up the mountain

and I'm going to get my paint done by you. You know, I know we're running out of time here, but I have to say one more thing. We talked about it recently, and you just brought it up, Pearl. Don't share. It is not ethical to share people's nudes just because they were on television and it doesn't feel like a real person to you. That's so 2004.

It is fucking unethical, and no one talks about it. What's his name? Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls. His nude actually leaked yesterday. Everyone's sharing it. I'm like, this is horrible. But did you look? Yeah.

But I mean, I saw it, but I wouldn't, I just think it's so gross. How did you feel when people leaked your nude? No, I was kind of pissed. But at the same time, I didn't expect any more from the community that I was in.

Because I think it I think it was through like a private album on Grindr or Scruff or something. And then like I shared it and then they shared it basically. So I was pissed, but I also like didn't expect anything more. Yeah. People are rotted. I didn't expect anything less. Yeah. I mean, I don't personally,

I don't worry about that because the pictures of my gash are so tight and tiny. People think it's a belly button. They think it's like a part of a child. Because how could something be so small? So small what?

Small, bald, and tiny. Small, bald, and tiny. Small, bald, and tiny. You know no one wants to see that bloomin' onion. Bloomin' onion, okay. French onion soup. Pearl, thank you, Pearl, for joining us today. Thank you, goodbye. Thank you so much.

Thank you, Pearl. Thank you so much. Bye.