The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Your Fingers are Rivers of Intention with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: November 4, 2025

Do you dream of living a life of romance, success, and not being a social disgrace as you awkwardly tap at your keyboard like a Dickensian ghost? With 3 easy payments of $99.99, you can be the proud owner of the year's hottest CD-ROM from Katya Zamo's Shift Happens Typing School. You’ll go from 7 pathetic words per minute to a blistering 80+ WPM because if you don't, you will perish loveless and alone, clutching your dial-up modem like a tragic relic. Watch in awe as our pixelated virtual tutor, “Key-Stroke Katya,” screams shockingly-cruel motivational threats while you master home-row Qwerty glory. Don't be a romantic and professional failure because you're a hunt and pecker! You can either type like a demon or slowly fade into the forgotten dust of the unremarkable, where your lonely keystrokes echo into an uncaring infinity until silence finally swallows your name whole. Your home might be worth more than you think! Find out how much at https://Airbnb.com/HOST This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Get on your way to being your best self and give online therapy a try at https://Betterhelp.com/BALD Get your gut going and support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual’s Synbiotic+. Get early access to their Black Friday sale for 40% off your first month at https://Ritual.com/BALD Give your cat the food they deserve! For a limited time, get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping, when you head to https://Smalls.com/BALD Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com/#tour To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemotel.com Listen Anywhere! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast Follow Trixie: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemattel.com/ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@trixie⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/trixiemattel Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/trixiemattel Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/trixiemattel   Follow Katya: Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.welovekatya.com/ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@katya_zamo Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/welovekatya/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/katya_zamo   #TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is sponsored by Airbnb. On a recent fall retreat back east amongst the stillness that only autumn can bring, I stayed at a home that was hosted on Airbnb. It was so gorgeous that I was swept away with the sweet scent of pine, the hush of golden-hued leaves, and that feeling of stepping into a mountain cabin that seems to simply breathe warmth. And at some point between the evening strolls under the starry Vermont sky and my third cup of spiced apple cider, I realized.

I could also host on Airbnb. My home back in the City of Angels could be welcoming guests while I'm away, maybe even helping to fund my upcoming summer vacation to Bali, or perhaps help fund that guest bedroom remodel I've been planning all year. So what are you waiting for? Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca.com slash host. Again, that's AIRBNB.C.A. slash host.

delivered. Shop the same in-store prices online and enjoy unlimited delivery with PC Express Pass. Get your first year for $2.50 a month. Learn more at pceexpress.ca. This episode is sponsored by Airbnb. On a recent fall retreat back east amongst the stillness that only autumn can bring, I stayed at a home that was hosted on Airbnb. It was so gorgeous that I was swept away with the sweet scent of pine, the hush of golden-hued leaves, and that feeling of stepping into a mountain cabin that seems to simply breathe warmth. And at some point between the evening strolls under the starry Vermont sky and my third cup of spiced apple cider, I realized. I could also host on Airbnb. My home back in the city of Angels could be welcoming guests while

I'm away, maybe even helping to fund my upcoming summer vacation to Bali, or perhaps help fund that guest bedroom remodel I've been planning all year. So what are you waiting for? Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. Again, that's A-I-R-B-N-B-N-B-C-A-S-Hast. Ready or not, Tucson, here we come from Linda Ronstadt Theater. We'll see you on Sunday, November 9th. You know what we should invite? Linda Lentz-A. Oh, Temes-de-Jure. She lives there. I think she's still with us. Wonderful. Thursday, November 13th, we're coming to Hawaii at the Blaisdell Theater. I haven't been to Hawaii in 10 years. Honolulu. Honolulu. Wow.

Aloha. Tickets at tricksey and katie.com. Bye, Roach. The Bold and the Beautiful Get some of your fan mails. The fans have been accidentally sending it to the show. Love you, ladies. Oh, from the Bold and the Beautiful.

Bold and the Beautiful, you probably get the weirdest shit. I'm so sorry. Damn. They probably get like dog ears and like, skeletons and, like, weed gummies and stuff. Oh, my God. I always forget that the bold and the beautiful exes. I also forget that Yelena Zemalachikova is a real person who probably despises me.

It says, love you, ladies. I love that your fan mail is getting redirected. Always Rachel Rose Oginski, Oginsky, Aginsky, casting associate. That's so funny, because I get all those actresses W-2s. I get their 1099s. I have to pay them. Wait, wait, wait, I got it before we start. Before we start.

Well, we're started. I have been doing, I have been learning an activity that is so basic and so embarrassing. I almost didn't want to share it learning how to type correctly. I think I told you this on the phone the other day. Mary, let me tell you, I was a hunter and a pecker. You know how the hunter gatherers back in the day back in the day? I was a hunt and pecker. You hunt and peck.

You look and you don't look at the screen. Like, you know what I mean? That's what they call it. um so that was me all throughout our well all throughout our my life in our two books best selling books by the way um hunt and peck hunt and peck embarrassing so now i'm you know how did you write papers in college hunt and peck that's fucked up girl but it's but it's here's the thing though if it's not as if like my peers were doing this right that's right This was the 90s.

You had to think about shit. And nothing came that quickly. It wasn't like the papers in your brain and you just needed to like, you know, load it onto the page. No. You know what I mean? It was like you just had to think of a sentence. Oh, that sucks. Erase it.

Go back. You know what I mean? It was like, I wasn't a stenographer is what I'm trying to say. We had to take keyboarding in sixth grade. But honestly, my middle school experience was when like MSN Messenger like really hit. And so you would go home and type to your school friends all day. I did that too long. And so in class, we had the stupid classes to learn A, S, D, F, J-K-L-S-L-S-M-L-L-S-M, yeah.

And then I would go home and type to your friends. And then you accidentally become good at typing. Yeah. Like, I never tried. I know, it's like speaking in language. It's like, it literally. Did you know peppermint uses, peppermint uses T-9 to text? What the fuck is that?

Like, like, determine. Like, put the number multiple times to hit, like, C. and then swear to God I don't want to air her dirty laundry but believe to the name believe the name Are you fucking kidding me Girl let's I swear to God Does she also like fax all of her invoices in

Like like what in the fuck Does she have cable? I'm calling her dial up That is wacky jacket Peppermint Peppermint Damn Pappermiao

Pepper meo How do peppy meow One of the first drag greens I ever saw I'm live She probably blocked me She I hope she has What a cunt I hate that shit

Hello I almost started talking about Hello Hi leave a message It's so diabolical I know I hate that I hate that Yeah

But I tell wait did I hear We called Pete's Christ A gossip on the pod And she called me and she was like I heard that you said that I was a guy up, I said, you're doing it now. I know. You heard? She's so fierce.

I love it. But, yeah, Peppermot uses T-9. So what's the prognosis on you getting good at typing? Is there a goal? So, okay, let me win you through it. Because I'm like, 1,000 pound friends, they lose the weight and then they have like a coming out party where they were a waste belt. Are you going to have like a typing party? Or no, I'm going to have like, well, I'm going to write the great American novel in three and a half days.

No, so basically, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Baby. Baby. Baby, honey, I need you to look and elicit it to understand what I'm talking about. Like, oh, I'm working on my tan. I lotion up, okay? I lotion up, and then my body becomes very slick, and it's semi-sensual.

I wear very scantily clad undergarments, and then I perch, erect at my computer. Now, I start with the very basics, of course. I'm talking D and K. That's what we're working on this lesson. D and K in space D and K. D&K, all the placement of the fingers I haven't even I haven't even gotten to all the letters yet

Can I give you some tips? No Yes One of the helpful ones is keeping the wrist Well I have to I know but it's so Chair posture Huh

Like being the right height and everything From it is good too It's essential this is what I have to do Also MacBook suck When I wrote our book They suck thank you Sorry I wrote it on my gaming

gaming PC so I could sit at a real chair with a real keyboard that clacks and like you realize I'm three seconds away from ordering a typewriter from him Mary I like I just I want a clack and I I can't have I make so many mistakes keyboard pair to the MacBook if you like the clacking girl they have my TikTok well typing club gives you the clacking but it just puts it in there typing club oh it's fabulous it's free is it like I think it's like doolingo for typing is that what it is it just teaches you how to do you how to to use the keyboard. It's really wonderful and fabulous and they should give me, I already bought their subscription so they might as well sponsor us or whatever. This keyboard. I recently upgraded to this wireless keyboard and mouse combo. Which keyboard sounds the best to you?

That sounds like tap dancing. I love the one on a typing club. I like the sounds they use. It's kind of, it's kind of like a typewriter. You're like creamy. No. No. That sounds like, because it sounds like tap dancing.

That does not sound like fingers. This sounds like feet. I love that. Well, anyways, the sounds they have on typing club are fabulous. And I literally just, so the first two hours, I'm telling you. It's peppermint. Oh. Oh, I'd ignored the call.

Fuck. Perfect. to a transoment in 20205 how dare you girl I'm sorry I would how are you girl I'm good girl

what's going on we're on the pod and Katia's learning he doesn't know how to type with a computer very fast and we're talking about texting I said I think that peppermint uses T9 is that true

it's the truth Talk about it Why do you like it? I love it because it allows me to do one-handed typing So like just holding my phone in one hand And then type just with my thumb Rather than two hands You know, two thumbs

And What's the other hand doing? What's the other hand doing? Make it for some pizza? Usually punching somebody in the face I don't know eating something, whatever But I also on my phone have It's not only T9

Because regular T9 is like multi-tap Meaning you have to like push like Yeah like multiple times Yeah But I also have predictive on So like it predicts the words Just like it does probably on any other keyboard So like if I was going to type the word love

Instead of having to type 5556 666 I just type 5.5 five, four, eight, three, and then it just types the word loud. I see what you're, it kind of like 99% of the time gets it right, probably. Oh, yeah, it's 90, the only time it doesn't get it right. I'm sure it gets the right the same amount of time as people who use the query keyboard. But I also, but I mostly, if I'm typing a lot, or if I have a lot to say, then I'll use voice text. And that's where it goes wrong from that.

well girl I just had to get confirmation on the T9 thank you for representing the T9 community thank you for all T9 is valid love you girl love you who was that her T9 was valid her T9 was valid her T9 I just think of her being like I'll tell you exactly why T9 is fierce

she's right though I mean if you're not having to do 5 5 5 5 like that to me is like Pepperman we got to get you out of the butter turning we got to get you out of the bonnet on the prairie yeah it's very 2nd2 yeah yeah But she's very 2002. Well, I saw her in the year, I think it was 2000, must have been two. No, it actually could have been.

No, I swear to God, it actually could have been that long ago. No, but the first day, it's like with any discipline that's like your first day of anything, you're not going to be an expert, right? That's why you're there. But because of, because of like 40, whatever years of, or 30 something years of incorrect muscle memory right girl it was like

I had just gotten legs for the first time and I was like I was like Ariel two books in by the way I was like Ariel like whoa what do I do with these you know it was so it was so discouraging it was so humbling it was so embarrassing it was so rotten wretched and ruthless and I have been diligently

like spending time in spite of my extremely busy schedule I have been carving out the time to devote to this activity so I think I've been doing about three hours a day and yesterday or last night was the first time I got a whole

fucking thing error free and do you realize I almost screamed at the top of my lungs like out the window just like... Do you watch TV while you do it? No, no I just... You sit silently and keyboard yourself. Yeah. I sometimes I'll have a musical piece on something by Mozart or Shubbush

Chopin but I want to watch TV because I I suppose I know I can't right I could hear the TV but I like

listen to some Tammy Brown music I feel like that would be counterproductive to type incorrectly but like the it's I like the hearing of the clickety clack um

girl stresses me out the the the the challenges and how fast they want you to go stress with me out so if you flop they make you do it again

No, you just get an error sign You can delete and go back Or you can just keep going It's very helpful Typing Club is they eat How many hours a day are you debuting to this? About two to three Are you lying?

No, no. I enjoy it. Like I'm having a blast Because now, now that I got one fucking lesson right I'm like, I'm the king of the world Right. And I mean, now I can actually envision It's like when you get your first

kick up into a handstander You get your first like standing back tug You're like, oh, I could be a gymnast. Yeah. You know what I mean? I also think, I mean, unironically, I think that this will shave off time in your life when you have to write something again. Which is never? Which is never.

Who is this for? When do you think you will, do you think that you're Paul Sheldon? No, but do you know that I use my computer quite often to look stuff up? Oh, you're right. And I don't want to be like, I don't want to be a hunt and pecker. I don't want to be Helen Hunt. You know, I don't want to be a Miss Pecker. Do you ever swipe text?

Do you ever swipe text? never in my life I got into it for a while never in my life not once in it is fast I feel like it's the devil's work it's diabolical I don't get her

yeah I mean with my fingers with my thumbs yeah I could write I mean like everybody else on this fucking earth but I hate that

right I do I really really really like like a very well functioning voice to text because I like enunciated

like a faggot. Hello, everyone. I am so pleased. Actually, whispering works best I found. Hello. Yeah. Like, if my duolingo, if it wants me to speak,

I whisper. Accurate. And it works. Yeah, it's like, Hi, Trixie. I'm wondering if you have two hours on Friday to go over some details for the next shoot

we're going to do, period. I'd really love to get this in the bag tomorrow, period. Perfect. Sue Ellen, we need that QED report. Yeah. I'm right on top of that rose, period. Yeah, no, it's the whisper.

I love the Miss Whisper. Do you think that I'm right on top of that rose? Like, I remember old gays telling me about, like, Mommy Dearest. Are we speaking of a black and white relic when we tell the young gays, I'm right on top of that rose? That's a good idea. Yeah, is our, Tina bring me the axe, are right on top of that rose or, like, no wire hangers. Right. I don't know.

But what I do know is that I stand by the fashion montage in that fucking movie. Miss Sewellyn Crandall on her way to become a corporate drone. The earrings. Baby, the intricate hairdoes, the updews, the power-clashing jacket with the turtlene? Oh, it's just like for the 90s, you know, when it was kind of tough, fashion-wise sometimes. It was that, and then Rose Lindsay always gave it to you with that incredible page boy with all that weight and volume. This episode is sponsored by Airbnb. There's something transcendent about the first true breath of Vermont air in the fall,

the way the mountains seemed to hum under a golden quilt of maple and flame. I stayed at a log cabin a few weeks ago, so picture-perfect it felt like the forest itself had written me a beautiful, personalized invitation. A roaring fire, the scent of pine and cinnamon, and the slow, deliberate quiet that big city life never affords you. And somewhere between my third cup of cider and the crackle of the fire in the hearth, it struck me. I already have a home that I could host on Airbnb. It's currently sitting empty as I wander these Amber Hills, but it could be working for me.

While I'm away gallivanting with my fellow leaf peepers, my home could be someone else's slightly warmer autumn dream. And honestly, with my next trip already on the calendar, a Christmas ski getaway to Whistler, British Columbia, it just makes sense. picture it snow-dusted pines cocoa steaming in a chalet mug laughter echoing off the slopes and perhaps just perhaps a romantic spark with a charming local canadian who knows how to make a mean snow angel and as i toast this season under whistler's starry sky my home in l.A. could be helping finance the guest room remodel I've been dreaming of all the while welcoming travelers of its own and it's not just me all of you out there in podcast land already have a home you could host on Airbnb too. It's straightforward, smart, and it might even be worth more than you think.

After all, while you're chasing your own snowflakes this season, your home could help you finance next year's planned vacation to Bali. So what are you waiting for? Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca.ca. Again, that's A-I-R-B-N-B-C-A-slash-host. That's annoying. What? You're a muffler.

You don't hear it? Oh, I don't even know. I usually drown it out with the radio. How's this? Oh, yeah, way better. Save on insurance by switching to Bel Air Direct and use the money to fix your car. Bell Air Direct, insurance, simplified. Conditions apply.

Have you gotten these targeted, like, reels that are the people getting the eye color change surgeries with the contact lens just inserted into the skin? Girl, you want to talk horror? I, every time one comes up, I have to watch it, and I watch it pissed. Pissed off. The reveal of these people having Hollywood Boulevard contact lenses. So of 3499 Halloween shipment fucking demonica or exotica or the gothic lenses. It's diabolical.

It's 45-year-old dusky gentleman saying, give me the ice blue eyes with the bloodshot red whites. Well, that's what I get into. I want this full sclera black with a little bit of red on the sides. It's fierce, girl. It's fierce. I am a person. I am a person who gives less than any shit about eyes. Like, it needs to be investigated.

David Buryana's and Bones needs to get down here. Scully and Mulder. Yeah. Columbo. Get down here. Yeah. Jessica Fletcher. Matlock?

Please. Yeah, both of the ones. The old one and the new one. It's crazy. The comments are like, you need to stop doing this to people. Yeah. The comments are like, what is this going to stop? It's flagrant.

It's so insane, too. It's like, I look back. on our years of like using those crazy contacts for a dramatic drag effect, it just looks ghoulish and weird. But it's not even always successful for the dragoons. So what about you? It's frequently not. And I understand what it can be helpful in that it, because your lashes, for example,

and your heavy dark makeup, you can see your eyeballs on the stage. Sometimes you can't. But these people are human beings going to nine to five bank jobs and what have you. And they look like they're in a. like a low budget alien movie. It's so wild. I don't ever give a shit. I have never given a shit about eye color or eyes in general.

Like, oh, he has the most amazing eyes. Who cares? You don't fuck his eyes. That's what I get. What I don't get is looking in the mirror and like dark eyes, light eyes, who gives a shit? There's a lot of things people could do if they wanted to change up their look.

Hair, outfits, injectables, veneers. Yeah, a facelift. A tan. A tan. Diet changes. He's pinbacked. It's crazy to be like, give me the good old Hollywood Boulevard permanent lenses. And then the follow-up, they're like, how are you loving it?

They're like, honestly, it's incredible. And they're sitting there with their eyes look like two little M&Ms. It's so fucked up. It's fucked up, girl. It's weird. Make it stop. I will. I will.

I will devote my life to that. I'll stop working for PETA and I will focus my efforts on no more color contact eyeball surgeries. I don't know what it is. What's the, what's the equivalent of it, getting like, um, is there equivalent? Because it is so outrageous. It's so bizarre and it's so fraudulent. What's another thing like, um, I don't, it would, it would, um, the British, the British veneers when it's like one big white tooth.

Where it's just like a porcelain retainer. Yeah. Like, maybe like that. Do you know, speaking of that, do you know where I can get a, I feel, a very realistic orthodonture made of, of um brace teeth with braces because that's going to be my new drag look oh doctor son probably do it for you really yeah so you can do cosmetic work or like something you could put in and take a flipper yeah with braces the only fashion kind she has every kind of dental knowledge you could ever get fierce yes i also looked i i looked into sedation dentistry because baby it's it's i'm long

overdue and i i mean wow front page news nobody a person doesn't like going in the dentist it's awful though. But like I want to be, I want them to just put me in a coma. Right. Put me in a coma. It sucks. Even the cleaning. I'm a little overdue for a cleaning. I even hit cleaning. Even the cleaning, it's the cleaning. Yeah. When the dental hygienist takes out her Nazi like a suitcase full of torture instruments. The rifle with the bayonet on the end. That's how they clean your teeth. Yeah. It's like we don't have picks or like little water hoses. I also give up because it's like I have, I floss every day. And no matter what happens, you go in and they're like, are you flossing? Yeah. Yes, I am. Yeah. Well, and that's another thing. It's too. It's like, you can lecture me, you can, but you can't torture me at the same time. You got to pick a lane. You can't do lecture and torture. Plus, now that I'm a little bit more aged and have a teeny bit more ability to kind of stand

up for myself, I am not, you know, I can lightly touch the hygienist and say, this is extremely painful. Right. And I'm, but I want to leave. But the old you would have stayed there and let them pull the tooth. I mean, like, it's great. Love it. The old me would have staying there. tears like like uh soaking the chair with sweat gripping the thing and then just tears coming out of my eyes that was like last year yeah crazy but not the new you the way changed everything the tan it was the tan here is kind of molly and danger girl autumn sunrise no no no the cut the bulk cut she has in that movie oh molly jensen yeah molly jensen yes but i wish i

he said autumn sunrise oh my god i wish though because she had that kind of um my mom mom had that haircut. My mom's sister had the haircut. It's like, it's kind of like a tapered fade on the... That woman also has it in. Is it Han that marks? Single white female? Yes, right. Baby. Yes. She really has it in that movie. Bridget Fonda. Yeah. Mary, that's the kind of shit. I'm like... Did you see their redoing Hand of the Archer Cradle? How do you feel? I don't feel great. I don't feel great. I don't feel great about it at all. I, and I don't, Rebecca Dore. I saw a thing with Rebecca Dormone, how she was, she just found out about it. She wasn't approaching me. thing, not that she needs to be approached. It's not, you know, if they're not thinking of redoing the movie or whatever, but I...

Give her the cameo. I know, shit, make her be the friend, you know, if you... The friend of. But I think it's a series. Yes. Or The Gardner. Or The Gardner. But, because there's an iconic scene that is extremely disturbing.

It's just a dialogue between Peyton Flanders and the, I forget what his name is, Wilson, maybe the Gardner. where she says a very prohibited word. And it's like, it... I remember that when she's talking to the gardener. Yeah. It really makes you as the viewer. It frames him for, like, molestation. Yes.

It really cements her villainy. She's evil. Yeah, she's evil. It does its job. The viewer goes, oh, this bitch is awful. She's crazy. Yeah, it's extremely impactful. It's like, it's not like on a comedy or stupid comedy,

you know, it's Seth Rogen or whatever, or whatever, where it's used to be like, just willy-nilly as an insult. This is a very, it's like, oh shit, this woman is evil. I doubt we're going to get

that kind of edge. But maybe we'll, I don't know. That'll probably go crazier. Do you think it'll be like Megan where it's like super gay now? I hope not, because I love the hand that rocks the guy.

The hand that slays the cradle diva. It's all going to happen during pride. Oh, no. The pride campaign. The hand that rocks a cradle float in the Weho Pride parade. What would they be?

The real gays of WeHo rocking a cradle on top of it. No, the fab fine. It's a breast pump. She rigged the greenhouse and she rigged the greenhouse for me. I love that movie. The last episode of Ball and Beautiful when you had the longer blonde wig on.

Somebody, you looked like fashion superstar Carson Cressley. Oh, yeah. Love that. I take that as a very good compliment. Can I tell you some other things that happened? Yes. I haven't seen you in so long. It's true.

I went up to Wisconsin for my birthday. Oh, happy birthday, by the way. I did not get you a single gift. That's totally okay. I turned 36. 30? And I was supposed to go for the full weekend. But as you know, I got a very exciting television thing.

Oh, yeah. You got an Oscar numb. Yeah. No. But I got this tiny little TV job that was so worth staying in town. I love the show. So I was like, I'm doing it. So I end up taking the red eye to Green Bay.

I've never red eyed to Green Bay. Being at the Chicago airport at like five in the morning was weird. It was on. It was open? I don't know what it was. I think it was on American. So I get my rental car and I asked for a Volkswagen Jedda and they go, we upgraded you. It's a Hyundai Sonata.

That's not an upgrade. But it was, can I say? It's the Ferrari Testerosa. Good. Gorgeous lane assist. Gorgeous safety features. It had the thing intuitive, what do you call it? It'll cruise control until you get so close to a car and then naturally slow down.

I was barely driving. I just had both nipple. I was wired. Both nipples hooked up the car battery. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I get to up north in Wisconsin. The cabin I got on Airbnb. be, am I so big

that the chair is just disintegrating? You're huge. Damn. I get up there and I guess I didn't quite pay attention because up north in Wisconsin the two types of rentals are either one tiny little cabin with like one toilet, one bedroom or a McMansion. Massive estates. Yeah. Not McMansions, like sprawling estates.

I accidentally got the sprawling estate. So I get there. How many square feet are you talking about? Two entire buildings. Two different buildings. Wait what? Sleeps 15. What?

Yes. So I get there. there. It's four of us, right? Me, my friend, my brother, his girlfriend, and we're all there. And I realized quickly, I'm like, this is, it's maybe a quarter mile from the street I grew up on in that trailer. And for the weekend, it was three grand. I was like, damn, we lived in the wrong fucking house in this neighborhood because apparently some of these are fierce rentals. But it was gorgeous. It was a great week. Went on little walks, went to bars, went out to eat, had a wonderful time. It's always good to go up there and just check it out, kick the tires, make sure everything's going. Going good. Kick the tires. Love going up north. Silver Cliff, Wisconsin. Gorgeous, gorgeous place to visit.

Pitcheresque, epic vistas. Well, my dream was to go to the Marinette County State. The Marinette County Fair. Now, what's the dry there? It's in Wasaki, Wisconsin. I used to go every summer. And I was like, you know what I want to do for my birthday this year? I want to go check out that fucking fair.

Loved it. Went there. Pig, pig contests? Yes. So 4H is huge. So there's all these animal barns. Get to see the baby animals, the chickens. Mini moose?

What? Minimus? What's a mini move? A small cow. No, no, I mean. Micro cow. It's true. It's true.

Love to see the goats. Anytime it's a black goat, instantly evil. I always think it's instantly evil. The witch movie where the goat is evil. Philip. Dr. Philip. Dr. Philip. Dr. Philip.

Black Philip. Yes. So whenever I see a black goat with the horns, I'm like, that's the Satan goat. Sure. Sure. Very reasonable. Love to see the chickens. Love to see these children who know everything about animals.

like little miss fames who are like standing next to their cage with their chicken with the blue ribbon and being like well because they probably grew up at a farm right? Right. Yeah.

Also I got to, there's always Miss 4-H who's always like, it's like a girl wearing our crown in a prom dress who's like the queen of the fair. What are the 4-Hs? Hospitality,

homosexuality. Yeah. Hoboism. H-VAC. And HV. In homoism. Yes. Hoboism.

So then I go. in and there's having a part of the animal the kids all show the animals and they give awards like best in show basically but it's farm animals right yeah so I'm watching and there's one thing where they all have costumes on so the animals dressed up and the owners dressed up in like coordinating costumes

and one of the kids was like in drag in my hometown with like a pink pony club goat and my brother and I are watching and I go he goes what do you think I said and honestly reminds me of drag race because it was like all these people lined up like thank you ladies We've heard enough.

And it's all these, like, elementary school kids with, like, truly a billy goat with a clown wig on. God, damn it. I love that shit. Anybody have a lizard or, like, a long hila monster or something? No, it's more like farm animals. Yeah. So I didn't stay around to see who went. She, goats, chickens, etc.

But also love going up there because everything's affordable. Like, the parking at the fair, guess how much the parking at the fair was? Free. $2. Yeah, there you go. Love it. Parking at Beyonce? $100.

Love to run into people from high school. See what's going on there. See who's died. Stuff like that. Well, on that note, I am always fascinated by the gay, the post, the high school reunion for the average gay person, especially for the person who has not, was not out in high school. You know what I mean? Right. You revisit sometimes your success story, I would consider myself some, what of one.

But no one cares about me up there. No, but they're all like, a lot of them are like either dead or they got a wife or husband they hate or their children or they're like alcoholics. You know what I mean? it's like some of them peak in high school and it's a real steep slope downward. Right. It's always nice to go back and be like yeah, I'm gay and I'm... I'm more, I think I'm more like someone, someone, someone. I was at the bar and I was like, oh, and they were like, what are you doing in town? I said, well, and I always

specify up there. I'm actually from here. Because if you're not of town, everyone hates you. Really? It's tourism, but it's like, we hate rich city yuppie people being like... You don't look like a rich city yuppie person. No, but up there, we call them shackers. People who call them come on the weekends or doing tourism in the summer it's like on one hand we depend on it for business and the other hand it's like fucking city people come up here and something about city people in the country they act like they it's it's unplowed earth and they can do anything

it's littering it's loud music it's like like a group of city guys acting like they are better than everyone or you know it's very that littering should be a capital offense punishable is by death shoot him shoot them to chop the head right off um so then i'm talking to this bartender and i go she goes what do you do for a living i said oh i actually do drag. She goes, you said drag and not entertainment. I was drunk. Oh. So, and then I go, she goes, there's actually some kid grew up a few blocks from here. Like, some

kid grew up over on Boat Landing, 11 road who did the RuPaul's. And I was like, but I mean, is they don't know who I am, but they've heard someone from there was on drag race. That was you, she was talking about. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. Madam Lequeer. She's also from, no, I'm just kidding.

She's also from, we're all kind of Madame Lequeer in a way. In a way. In a way, it was, it was, wasn't the Destination, it was the Madame Lequeurs we met along the way. Great dining. Madam Lequeer. That sounds like the dry queen, the dry queen character in like a CW show.

And the widow vandu, can't get enough of that. Widow fondue? The widow fun, no, not fondue. Widow fondue. Widow fondue. Widow fondue is her son. Well, there's, there's, there's the big fondue and then widow fondue. Widow fondue.

That was speech impediment, speech of pediment. But it was a fun trip, and I love to go to the county fair. It was, if you're not a kid and you don't have kids, once you see the animals, unless you want to watch a tractor pole, I was like, well, what now? You know, you're not excited. You don't turn out for the biggest pumpkin contest? No, that's not until a fall festival. Of course. Fall festival is in September, I believe.

Okay. You love a hay ride? You fuck with a hayride. Haunted or otherwise? We do haunted hayrides up there. People with chainsaws. That's coming out of the corn. That's crazy.

Terrifying. That's terrifying. They have the chain off, allegedly. It doesn't sound like that when I've gotten it. It certainly does. And there's plenty of gas in that thing. When you're kid and you're in your winter clothes on the hayride, and somewhere in a mask comes out screaming?

Legs dangling. Now where to run. Girl. Skirt. It's fierce. It's fierce. Burry, scurred. Skirt.

Now streaming on Paramount Plus. It's the epic return of mayor of Kingstown. Warden? You know who I am. Starring Academy Award nominee Jeremy Renner I swear in these wars Emmy Award winner Edie Falco You're an ex-con who ran this place for years

And now, now you can't do that And Bafto Award winner Lenny James You're about to have a plague of outsiders Descend on your town Let me tell you this, it's got to be consequences Mayor of Kingstown, new season now streaming on Paramount Plus Today's episode of Ball and Beautiful

is brought to you by Smalls Now if you know me, you know I'm not a cat person You know I'm a lifelong vegetarian. You know that I've had every type of pet. I've had birds. I've had fish. I've had turtles. I've had dogs, cats, rabbits.

I've had gerbils and hamsters. Yes, there's a difference. I've had really every type of pet. We were a pet family. Even though we were living below poverty, we were a pet family. We loved having a million pets. And so even though I'm not a cat person, I was one of those kids that was raised to really,

care about the quality of life of your pets. I mean, I would say, you know, human children, who cares? But pets, animals, that's where I think we really spring, we spring for quality. Don't you think? Like, it's 2025. Turn on the news. I wouldn't say that humans have winning qualities at this point in history, but animals, animals are out here and they can't always do it for themselves. It's up for us to do it for them. And something I do know about cats is they do have to eat. And if you're going to feed your cat, you should feed them regularly and the highest quality food possible. You guys know our sister podcast, Kelly Mantle, we feed her Smalls and she loves it. She really loves it.

Honestly, it's made her so regular. It's made her coat so shiny. Makes her sleep deeper. What I love about Smalls is for real for all you cat divas. Smalls cat food is protein packed recipes made with preservative free ingredients that you can find in your fridge. When I first moved to L.A., my roommate Lee, he passed away now. He had two cats, Shotsie and Loco, and he would make their cat food from vegetables and, like, lean chicken. And I had never seen that before. And I feel like with Smalls, that level care for your cat

can be available to you, like, delivered to your home. I'm just going to say, love animals. I have so many vivid memories of going to buy pet food at the store and hauling giant bags of pet food into the home. I love smalls because if you're a cat diva, you're busy picking up hair. You don't have time to go to the grocery store, okay? Unless you have one of those hairless cats, and then you're probably doing blackhead extractions. People who love smalls say that the fur on their cats is softer, and I mean, their winter coat will be soft and healthy. I just really think we need to do the absolute best we can for our pets. I think it's the most important thing that you can do.

What are you waiting for? Give your cat the food they deserve. For a limited time because you are a bald and a beautiful listener, you can get 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash bald. One more time, that's 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you had to smalls.com slash bald. This episode is sponsored by Airbnb.

There's something transcendent about the first true breath of Vermont air in the fall. The way the mountains seemed to, hum under a golden quilt of maple and flame. I stayed at a log cabin a few weeks ago, so picture perfect it felt like the forest itself had written me a beautiful, personalized invitation. A roaring fire, the scent of pine and cinnamon, and the slow, deliberate quiet that big city life never affords you. And somewhere between my third cup of cider and the crackle of the fire in the hearth, it struck me. I already have a home that I could host on Airbnb. It's currently sitting empty as I wander these Amber Hills, but it could be working for me. While I'm away

gallivanting with my fellow leaf peepers, my home could be someone else's slightly warmer autumn dream. And honestly, with my next trip already on the calendar, a Christmas ski getaway to Whistler, British Columbia, it just makes sense. Picture it, snow-dusted pines, cocoa steaming in a chalet mug, laughter echoing off the slopes, and perhaps, just perhaps, a romantic spark with a charming local Canadian who knows how to make a mean snow angel. And as I toast this season under Whistler's Starry Sky, my home in L.A. could be helping finance the guest room remodel I've been dreaming of, all the while welcoming travelers of its own. And it's not just me. All of you out there in podcast land already have a home you could host on Airbnb too. It's straightforward, smart,

and it might even be worth more than you think. After all, while you're chasing your own snowflakes this season, your home could help you finance next year's planned vacation to Bali. So what are you waiting for? Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca.ca slash host. Again, that's A-I-R-B-N-B-B-C-A-slash host. Do you know what I did just last week? Did you buy the RV? I went to Camping World in Sturdivant, Wisconsin, and I test drove a bunch of stunning motor homes. Tell me about it. Well, I thought it was, I had a bunch of ideas for what I wanted to drive, but I thought what I really want to do is, go somewhere where I can go in a bunch of them,

look at a bunch of them, look at the specs. And more I looked at them, I'm the more I was like, I want one of these, if I'm going to get rid of my condo, I want one of these big, horny. The expandable ones like Will Smith has. Oh, yeah.

So I got to drive one of the big Class A ones. I felt magical and powerful. You don't need a special license. You don't need a special license for those. Not if it's under 40 feet and under 26,000 pounds. Wow. So I was cruising down the highway. in the giant motor home.

So you just... It was so cunty. I have full body chills for the wrong reasons. You just described one of my gravest, most terrifying emotional, like, nightmare. I loved it. It was a 2025, so it had a lot of safety features. Well, yeah, you're not going to die, but you're going to kill like four other people. Or rather, I wouldn't die.

That's kind of what I liked about it. I'm like, you want to crash in my car? I want to be the perp, not the Vic. Right. You're going to bounce off. You and your Volvo? It's over for you, bitch. You really, you're merging onto that freeway with that fucking.

a death machine and 20,000 pounds. The only reason didn't it make the move and buy it was because I have to figure out storage because I need indoor storage for the winter. And B...

How did you store that shit? Oh, it was Wisconsin. Oh, I bet this is high season. I was like, I bet if I wait until fall, they'll be looking to cut a deal. Sellers market. Right, because everyone's buying it in the summer to go on vacation.

But if you buy it before winter, get a good deal. How much of these things running for? The one I was looking at, was $200,000. Holy smokes. But you could get used ones if you wanted. But I looked at six different used ones and they all smelled used.

Well, that's where a little popery dangle comes in. A little glade. You put it right on the vent. I just did that recently. The big ones are for like people who are traveling. It's sleep six because we got all our snout nose kids. It's like the kid vibes got a good. Yeah. Or you have prolific

serial killers on the lamb. Right. Yeah. Then it was in Milwaukee and I drove around to all the different RV parks to tour them all and see what they look like. What's the vibe? The people who are part-time in RV are very different than the full-time people. Sure. It's a very

different vibe. Interlopers and then hardcoreers. The hard-corers are a little more grizzled, ornery. They're on the lamb from society, let's say. Milky eyes. Yeah. Yeah. I'm obviously aspiring to be a very

part-time. Summer's only. You're a city-slicken interloper. Let's be real. City slick and interloper. And these people are about to harvest you for organs. For sure. When you're not looking. Okay. For sure.

Damn. Fucking A. So it was really, I was, I was really scared to drive such a big vehicle and then it was thrilling. Oh. I loved it. I'm so happy that you love it. I would not be thrilled at all to do that.

Camping world. Camping world. Not a great name. I mean, I guess it is direct. Like the name, what it is. It's a world of camping, you know? I'm obsessed with that REI store with the guy, the giant fish tank. He got in naked.

Do you remember that? There was the big REI. Yeah, there's a huge, like, fish tank kind of situation in an REI somewhere in the country. He just jumped in, teeny little penis, love that. REI, the most Caucasian store. Driving, listen, I just want to reiterate for the 685,000 the time. Driving is so dangerous. But I love it.

Yeah, you love a dangerous thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me tell you why, too. Some things I forgot about driving. Some things I forgot about are the peace in the car. today when I leave this set with you which is you know

you're having to drive me home by the way no but to sit in the car and reflect on what I just did privately while I drive home it's like such a missing punctuation of the day being in the car alone between oh going to the store

going whatever love it also buying big shit putting it in your car not needing to get help sure and let me tell you drive-thrus oh I hate trying Sonic.

Culvers. Do you know how many times I had Culvers when I was Wisconsin? I was stopping twice a day. When it's Culver? Sometimes Sometimes I was just stopping

for a Diet Coke because I love a, you know, a nice, ice, big Diet Coke. And I felt like one of those cunts in the car eating chicken nuggets talking to TikTok. You know what I mean? Talking to TikTok?

People love to eat in the car. Oh, that's right. That's right. They do their... That's so... Crashing out. What's that? These people need to.

elevate their definition of crashing out. What does I mean? Like, oh, I'm having a meltdown. I've hit my breaking point. I'm freaking out. But I'm filming it crisply and cleanly on TikTok. It's like, oh my God, I'm crashing out. They didn't have my shade of foundation.

It's like, girl, a crash out. I watch Netflix. I'm like, people kill their whole family. That's a crash out. I also watch this other TikTok that was talking about like in all these, if you watch all these murder documentaries on Netflix, Hulu, and the like, it boils down. to like white men who won't divorce so they just kill everyone.

Like they're having an affair. The easier, softer way. Yeah, they're just like, I could never divorce. I guess I'm just going to have to drown my children and have my wife killed. Hey, listen, different strokes. Have you been, do you get into Alien Earth today? Are we talked to about this?

No, but everybody says it's so good. Oh, baby. Or we watched Alien 1. Great, right? Amazing. And then Alien 2, James Cameron, don't really, not a huge fan, Titanic. But, like, you know,

he really goes, really yanks that shit off. Like he, it's like you see one monster in the first one, you know, there you see fucking hundreds of them

in this one. You see that big ass nasty queen with all them fucking laying all them eggs and it's all the queen of the big head. The queen is

Miss Nasty. Miss Nasty put some clothes on. You're not, you're gross. Don't walk out that hive without your clothes on. Right.

Like bulbous egg. It's just so over the top. They got robots? They got synthetics. Because in the first one when that, guy ends up being a robot, I kind of forgot. Gagged. And I was gagged.

And the practical effects of his head sitting there talking. With the white blood, Kunti. White blood is so weird, too. Same thing in Aliens. Sigourney's so gorge. She's so good. She's so good. She's so damn good.

And this fucking, they got this bitch, Yutani on the new series where there's five corporations that like pretty much run the world in this version of Earth. Oh, Mama. Ugh. She goes in, diva, it doesn't even begin.

Do you need to watch all the movies? Because I think I've only seen one and two. That's perfect. Okay. That's actually perfect. Yeah. There's really not a lot of new pertinent. I mean, there is new information, but it's not pertinent.

And actually, I feel like it will, it will make this experience more enjoyable because there will be new discoveries that are actually cleaner and more concise and precise. You will love. It is cunt. They are turning it. When I was doing my horror movie binge, like last month, I did watch Halloween one, the one you said, you don't really respond to. But then I watched the three that are the newest ones, the Halloween, Halloween kills on Halloween ends. Okay.

Because you don't really need to watch the middle ones. They cut them out narratively. And there's one that's really off-kilter. The last season of the witch. Yeah. Oh, are you talking about the... Season of The Witch is like... Something else.

Something else. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, something else. Well, I think I remember reading this. that they originally were going to just have it be, if anything, like an anthology series about different things that have happened on Halloween. But then Michael Myers was so Slay

that they kind of got locked into that. Interesting. Weird. Obviously, they're going to do a Gladys prequel, right? They said. Oh, really? Of course, they're going to milk that horror. Amy Madigan, get her an Oscar. Yeah, no shit.

She was great. She got to get behind Neff Campbell, though. They're going to do the horror Oscars. I have a list. Tony? Oh, she'd clean up. Hereditary. I will do the voice, too.

at the Oscars. Tony Collette Hereditary. Hereditary. They're going to say some shit like that. Who do you think, what do you think your top five horror movies of all time would be? And say, but don't think about too hard. Obviously the shining. The shitting. The shining, yes. The sheening. It eats. Yes. It's, it eats. It's huge. It's, yeah. The shining. Scream. Scream. Okay. Abbey. And let's say

Wally. I'm just kidding. I don't know. Those are maybe the two I can think of. What about, okay. I think three more. Come on. The first Nightmare and Elm Street. That's definitely in my list. Is the Cunt Factory? Yeah, that's on my list too.

Can I say those? Does it have to be five? It has to be five, or I'm going to kill myself. It has to be five. Um, uh, oh, it. I mean, they need all of them. There you go. Any and all of them.

Oh, yeah. Mine would probably be, um, Nightmare and Elm Street, one. Um, Candyman, the original. Got it. Um, it would be the... Don't you love Suspirit. I like the first one, but I don't, like, I'm not, I don't, I don't, not for it. I've only seen it once.

Okay. And I like, um, the, what is it? Maybe the, um, Hellraiser, the first one, it's pretty nasty. And then, first one, I just rewatch that too! It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's scary.

Love that redhead woman who's wrecked with sexual desire. Yes. With the whore makeup on. Yeah, because it's horny. It's horny. It's super horny. Clyde Barker is a very lusty gentleman. I would fuck that guy who is skinless.

Frank? Yeah. Absolutely. And the second one, when he comes out of the bloody mattress. Cunty. Cuntilicious. And she's kissing him while he has no skin on.

Yeah. That's me after a chemical peel. You watch that and you're like, the cinnobites aren't even bad guys. No, they're just travelers. Opening this thing. Yeah, they're just making their way through the universe. Bippity boppity booboooo-bidding.

And then... I can show you what. It's, I rewatched the, um, the, the, the, the new one and I'm like, God, this, like, what was going on here? Like, what was going on here? I, I thought it was, I thought Jamie Clayton as the new pen had was very intriguing, very intriguing. Very intriguing. But like, the story was like so toothless and in kind of nothing. It was so weird.

So, so weird. The first one's very sexual. It's very sexual. It's very disturbing. It's very gory, nasty. Love that final girl, too. that girl from that first one is excellent. And then my fifth one,

her dad gets killed. I mean, all these people getting killed in her house, she don't even know. Boop. Anytime you're moving in life and someone cuts their hand, it's like an empty house you just bought

and there's blood on the floor, you have to move. You have to move. Because that's going to be the awakening. That's going to be the portals opening, the chains flying out of the walls, up the pussy. See, that's like,

that's the kind of shit. When there's, when there's chains flying out from place like from hell and then ripping my skin apart that's when i really try to that's when i'm really going to reevaluate my choices it kind of gross too the way the chains grab the skin and stretch it it's disgusting but also in that first movie that guy's looking for like i mean obviously the metaphor is also like sex and drugs right it's some kind of extreme high that he's chasing with like pain and pleasure sensation yeah so then there's these

kind of priest figures who have the belief that pain is pleasure, et cetera. Maybe the book is more together, but the movie, I don't, I mean, the story doesn't hit me. The book is just a novella, I believe. I think my number one would be The Exorcist. Whoa. Because it's still shocking. And you love exercise. Yeah.

It's still as shocking as it ever was. Lick me. Lick me! Forcing, taking her mom's head and putting it in her bloody puss that she just, like, jabbed with the crucifix and saying, lick me and then throwing her across the room. That was the movie that people were leaving. Have you ever heard, like, the interviews of people leaving being like, it's obscene, it should be banned. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Jesus, you see people get so fucking weird. But the book is fabulous, too. I mean, I read the book, and I tore it through, it's a page, a great beach read, by the way. It's, like, fierce. Great William Peter Blattie or something like that. It's a great book. beach read beach read tearing through that shit lick me like me yeah do you know what she did your cunting daughter if you had a child and they got possessed i mean you have to call the

exorcism shotgun right to the head i'm not calling i'm calling the two actors from the conjuring who play edin lorraine patrick wilson and uh very vera farmiga vera get down here okay get the wiji board let's go i'm getting i'm getting i'm getting odomay brown oh for sure because she could talk him out of anything. I recently, we re-watched Ghost with my friend Joseph, he hadn't seen it. Do you love it? He loved it. Do you cry?

I don't know if he cried. I cried. At the end when she says goodbye, it's too much. When she kills me is when she rolls, she rolls the jar of the penny down the stairs and it breaks, I lose it. It's such a wonderful, simple image and it's so lonely, and it's

So sad. Her whole life is fun. Do you think she ever gets over it? Do you think she ever dates? I think she absolutely does. And I think she and Oda Mae are like, they're like BFFs. If your partner dies, husband or her wife, do you think, do you think it's an act of love to never date again? Some people do that?

No, you get to move on. They would want you to be happy. They would want you to be happy. But the real crime of that movie is that Sam Wheat didn't let her keep even a million of that check. I don't care if it was blood money. You terrorize his black woman's life. for like three months. She doesn't, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Where's her reward? And let, let your late wife or your widowed wife have a little cash. How about? What about half and half? The nuns. Also, it's a very, like, do your research. You don't know these nuns.

They could be grifters. Do your research. They could be seven-day Adventists. Or, or, um, uh, what is it? Salvation Army, hate the gays. Bama. You got to do your research. If you're going to cash, you got a $4 million check.

I say, two goes to Molly. two goes to Odomay Brown. Well, are we going to do All-Stars? Are we going to do All-Stars recaps? I think we should, but I think we should wait until we, like, run out of things to talk about, or we're on tour, or, like... Oh, really? Because I'm afraid of doing them all close together, and then we're just another Drag Race Recap podcast. All the girls reheating their own nachos. Is that what's happening?

I don't want to do that. I think our lives are too interesting. I don't like regular nachos, so I don't want to reheat anything. We don't talk about Drag Race very much. Yeah, I kind of like that too. Okay, okay. Well, bye, bye-bye. retreat back east amongst the stillness that only autumn can bring. I stayed at a home that was

hosted on Airbnb. It was so gorgeous that I was swept away with the sweet scent of pine, the hush of golden-hued leaves, and that feeling of stepping into a mountain cabin that seems to simply breathe warmth. And at some point between the evening strolls under the starry Vermont sky and my third cup of spiced apple cider, I realized. I could also host on Airbnb. My home back in the City of Angels could be welcoming guests while I'm away, maybe even helping to fund my upcoming summer vacation to Bali, or perhaps help fund that guest bedroom remodel I've been planning all year. So what are you waiting for? Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca.com slash host. Again, that's A-I-R-B-N-B-C-A-S-host.