The Basement Yard - #158 - Buying Furniture Is Impossible

Episode Date: October 8, 2018

After being chase around a furniture store by a saleswoman for 30 mins, I finally decided to enter negotiations & was BAMBOOZLED. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. Yes Everyone we were joking around before I was like bring the energy so I just did that to be an idiot and then I ended up sounding like a 12 year old preteen boy who Do you think your voice will ever stop cracking? Why does mine always crack? I feel you're gonna be 30 years old just hitting me with I can't be yelling at my kids in my voice cracks. I don't think I'm a bitch Jimmy. Get off the jet. He was like, what was that dad bitch? Stop talking to your mother that way Listen, you guys got to settle down You got to settle down. All right. All right. Can't have that. It's not good. Um, anyway big announcement

Sorry By the way, you know what before the big announcement, what are you wearing dude? Dude? Why are you wearing the towel? I'm sure I know how this is like three episodes in a row. I feel like that. I've been going after you But this this one really makes no sense. All right, this right here. I haven't got love the hoodie. Great hoodie I'm wearing a towel over your head. I have to ask. I Have to you know why? No, I don't He's got orange sneakers on he's got gay to write Sneakers be like Mike. Yeah, but the towel still same question

Well, I came over here as you could tell there's no there's no hood on this right So it was raining today. Mm-hmm, but it wasn't pouring Right, let me just bring a towel with me so I can wash my glasses. No one says this by the way This is just a strictly you thing. Yeah, no one walks around with towels. I really honestly. I think I have my own swag That's for sure. Like I said, no one does this. Yeah, you know what people do they get an umbrella LL LL Yeah, hey Isn't it crazy how old that song probably is was it like 14 10 12 years old Geez, she must have been like 16 when that song came out. Well, that's wrong

No, she's not she wasn't 16 First of all, she had bondy replay come out way before no umbrella was first. No, it wasn't maybe it was no It wasn't because that bondy replay song Was first it was by herself and then she was umbrella was with like Drake and shit. No, who was on that song? No one it's just her Jay-Z No, it wasn't that song. It was Jay-Z umbrella came out Bondy replay. That was her first hit. Okay. First of all, hey, Mr. DJ's on bondy replay Okay, so this this song came out in 2007 which one

I'm Bella. Hello. Hello. All right. Yeah, and then bondy replay was probably 2006 or five 2005 you're right So I know my I know my Rihanna in 2005 Rihanna was 17 years old. Was she really? Yeah, she was born 88 damn She was caking. Yeah That's fire dude. She's been famous for 13 years. I remember when she got that under tit tattoo. Yeah, I'm into by the way Yeah, I'm into that Rihanna's, you know Rihanna's like she's like my favorite. Is she yeah, I love her dude under tit tattoos About those. Yeah, and they're like wings too. Yeah, I like that. She just like embraces like I'm gonna be naked all the time Yeah, I've seen those nips numerous times. I could draw him right now. I'll get a piece of paper. I'll draw him. No, I love

Yeah, and dude, I also like just like, you know, so you know how people get like Little quotes or whatever. Mm-hmm, but ones that are just like under the tit under the tit that are like round You like those see I like straight stuff like I like that. She has like wings there, right? Yeah, but it's rounded Yeah, but those shit are fucking dope. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, and she also has that picture where she's like Like like standing over like this and like biting her lip. She looks so fucking hot I don't know you're talking. I'll show you. You'll know the picture. I mean, I'm gonna know that picture I'll never forget that picture. I promise we'll get to the show I

Don't we get from the towel on your head to Rihanna's under-tit tattoos. Who else has some good under-tit stuff I don't know. I feel like but it's that's why I think I like it, too Because you don't know until you see a tit and then you're like wait, there's some stuff under here. There's some like Nutritional facts. Oh, I know that picture. I'm a big fan of those, too Those like collarbone tattoos that go across. Yeah about that about that. You're gonna get a tattoo soon, right? I'm gonna get a tattoo. Yeah, you haven't picked a date though, right? No, but I'm gonna get it here at my forum I might hurt. I'll go with you. It's not gonna hurt vlog it Clogging cry. I'm not gonna cry. We need nuts. You cry tell you what though if I get like my fucking

Grundle and bonch waxed Big time. I've never heard bonch bonch For taint. It might just be something me and my friend said yeah because I feel like when you said it on the last show I didn't want to stop your momentum. Yeah, I had a lot of momentum So it's like but this bonch is gonna stick with me. Yeah, I need to talk about this bonch. All right Well, it's you know, it's just another word for you know that area that it's kind of off limits I feel like that area is like Voldemort like we don't talk about it. Yeah, I don't say the word I'll say his name. We know it's there. It's a dark

You know magical place, but don't you know stay out of that stay out of that Oh, I go there. You know machete to get through on. Oh Jesus sometimes like Nevermind what I was gonna say sometimes they get all twisty in there and of course hurt like hell Yeah, I mean like well now I got a you ever put like conditioner on your every day you condition you're you're fucking What are we calling this then can we get a name grundle grundle grundle just sounds like a big monster though Yeah, and then it is a big monster. It is a big monster now And I think about like a big shadow monster. Yeah, like something out of stranger things that is like yeah That's that's the upside down

Man's grundle is the upside down right? Yeah, exactly That's exactly what it is. It is But like that area sometimes when it gets a little too like twisted up you got to be like I gotta put a condition on this listen it up get it more get some silky smooth this that's usually when I know Hey listen, you've been putting off the shower for way too long Yeah, or like dude, how could you go play basketball and think it's okay? Yeah to just hang around Like you definitely need to take a shower and it's gonna get ugly in there, too Oh, it's gonna get disgusting kind of hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It's hard being a guy. It is you got grundle hair

Yeah, it hurts just as much as giving birth soap in your pee hole soap in my pee hole Not being that there's nothing on earth that beats that no no females ever gone through anything worse any sort of pain in that Downstairs area. No, no, we got him beat. Yeah Anyway, the big announcement The big announcement I am moving Out of this apartment. Don't be shocked. You know this you're very you're very informed on the situation. Where are we going? Okay, you I can't look at you and I see a nun Why saw because of the head the head thing I see a nun. I see cam Newton

You see cam Newton. Mm-hmm. I see a nun. I See a guy that makes moves. Okay anyway, I Moving to a new apartment. So this we're gonna have a different setup soon. I would say probably late October is when I'm going to be Moved into the other place Downsizing a bit because you know what I'm gonna miss this place I'm gonna miss I'm gonna miss this you're gonna miss the brick. Yeah, I'm gonna miss

I'm gonna miss this that's coming Is he yeah, he's coming cool. He doesn't have a name yet. Yeah, I don't know I Didn't want to give him one. Yeah, I was too afraid. Yeah, maybe some like old middle medieval name like Arthur or like Langston Or like that long fellow something like that. Yeah, something be dope. Yeah Yeah, I'm moving out of here. So but yesterday I went and I was buying a new couch because the couch out there It's covered in all kinds of stuff, you know blood Jizz you ever get freaky freaky on there. Yeah, you ever get on there. What is that? It's masturbating Oh, but you said did I ever get masturbating? Yeah, do you ever?

Did I ever masturbate crack one off on there. Yes, I didn't like jizz on my couch You know what it is. I think I've started a jizz. I started a jizz I think I started a masturbation on the couch and then I'm like You gotta move. Yeah Time to go mobile. I had to get out of there. I was trying I might give these away You want one? They're heavy as fuck. No, we should give them away to somebody. Maybe. Yeah, they're huge I don't like I have nowhere to put them really because I'm not gonna put them into the drywall patreon. I Don't know

This a patreon giveaway by the way for people who are just listening It's a giant scoreboard on the side of my wall. It's fucking cool though Yeah, there's no there's nowhere for you to put this though. No, there isn't no no because the place I'm getting as much smaller, but anyway, so they're about to fucking couch. This is one of what I talk about I'm getting a new couch and yesterday. I went to a Store to buy the couch. I'm not gonna say just cuz you know, you'll know why at the end of this But I want to go by the couch. Obviously these people are hawks when you go to buy a couch They follow you around the store

Commish like a fucking puppy. It's insane and actually one time me and Keith went to a Bob's Discount furniture and we're walking around those dudes We were like speed walking to be funny. They're getting like jogs over there Oh, yeah, like they were following the shit of us So we just kept running away from the guy and then we go into like a the kids section I'd be hiding and we'd see him just start bucking it the other way through the couches. I love Bob's I'm not my Alright, I fuck with Bob's. I hate buying furniture buying furniture and and moving are probably two of the worst things you could do

Hate moving hate moving and you bought a new bed, right? Yeah, like a frame. I bought a new bed. It's nice nice. What is that? You know, I don't know what that means Sex on a bed. Yeah, I wonder who started like having sex on a bed and then we'll get back to the to the couch story When do people start having sex in beds? I Don't know when we're beds invented. It's just like a it seems like the logical place. It's nice and private It's comfortable. Yeah, you're not gonna go fuck out in the street people do it people do it Yeah, they do it like

Secretly and it gives them a rush like I don't know if someone could see us but suck my balls sex on the street Yeah, it's like fucking hot. You know I'm saying Let me figure you in a parking garage that kind of gets people going whoa. I'm not saying you I'm saying other people. I was like, I know I work here, but yeah Not like that. Also the parking garage over here is not that Private so lots of cameras. Yeah, that's cameras. I think that's the point too. Yeah people who like to fuck outside I'm kind of into it though. I think fucking outside. It's hot. I'd fuck outside. Yeah, again Again me too. How many times I've had numerous car sex

I've had my shirt. I've had my share of car sex. It's not great. I had great No, I've had car sex and a cop show up He knocked on your window. Yes. Was he like a sexy cop like no is going on here. No, he was like Get the fuck out. He was like ma'am. Are you okay? Whoa? Yeah, me to the assume that you were yes our wording. Yes Why because what did she say? I'm I'm straight. All right. I was out of yeah, I was out and then he just bounced Yeah, isn't that against a lot of the fucking cars? No, but we weren't fucking at the time I was outside taking a piss and Then a pre-sex piss after all post-sex post-sex piss. Oh those take forever

I know but I walked off. We were in a parking lot I walked up to a dark area taking a piss and the cop pulled up and shined the light in the car and I just Put my cock back in my pants So in my head I go pull my phone out So I pulled my phone out and act like I was on the phone can't be in public Okay, I don't want that ticket. So I actually like I was on the phone and he was like what let me see your hands So now I'm like, oh my god. So now I'm just like yeah, I'm just on the phone. Look, so I'm on the phone. I'm on the phone And he's like, oh, all right. Are you here with that? I say yeah, my girlfriend's in the car and he like

This is why he was cool He was just like Are you all right everything okay here she was like yes, yes, it's fine And then he was like all right You get out of here So he was cool. He did he know you guys just yes, why was she like she was covering up. Oh, she was naked Yeah, I thought you just looked like she just got banged Probably a little bit of both. Yeah, I'm like hideous after I have sex. I'm not I feel like a like a like like royalty

No, I'm disgusting After I have said I look like a car hit me really am I clothes went flying and like my shoes when like busted off and went down The block like I go into the bathroom to pee or whatever and then look at myself. I'm like look at you You're disgusting. I feel this I feel that way after like I jerk off sometimes Oh, obviously and you connect eyes and something reflective. You're like you're you're a terrible person Yeah, you got pictures of your family around in your room. Ah Let me put this picture of grandma down has your mom ever texted you while you're watching porn No

But like you're my friends have Yeah, I don't want to think about you to Vino. Yeah Vino just hits you back like I know what you're doing So, yeah, just let it out man, whatever you're like, yeah, I'm gonna I'm coming to pick you up It's like all right. Just give me like seven minutes. I'm like, mmm. I'll be specific. You're jerking off Yeah, like just let me know five fixing your hair seven snap You're snapping one off No, but you've ever you've never I've also had sex and like what's the craziest public place you had sex

I think we've asked each other this question. Maybe but not a crazy place Not a crazy place like never like I'm like a ferris wheel or something like that a ferris wheel. What is this? I've had where am I? Where am I gonna get a first wheel to Coney Island Coney Island? Yeah, am I trying to get STD to get hepatitis out there. I'm saying fucking like syringes all over the ground I'm putting my dick out over there. I Get sex on a ferris wheel. No, oh, I Thought you were like leaning into something here. What I'm not gonna like this church You fucked in Yankee Stadium. Yeah, that's gross. No, but it was it was it was gross is what it was

No, I wouldn't even pull like I don't like peeing in Yankee Stadium. Oh my god They come from the guy there shit you shit in a nuclear holocaust. Let me talk about what do you mean? You What this guy goes to Madison Square Garden drops his pants like a four-year-old ready to take a shit anywhere he goes I shit at Madison Square Garden out of pure fucking emergency. I Didn't shit there to have a good time. No, I didn't plan it was a premeditated First of all you go into the family bathrooms. What is the family bathroom? See you don't even know to take a proper shit I don't I panic mode. I got a shit. I'm out of I'm in Madison Square Garden

I gotta get the fuck out like I just I just have to go You try to hold on you like yo listen. It's the third period. Maybe I can make it out There's ten minutes left right, but you can't listen anywhere. I go to more than once. I know shit routes I need that. I have maps dude. I will draw you a shit map make a nap. Oh, yeah a shit map app. I know where to poop Like in luxury in every stadium in New York pooping luxury. Yeah met life. I know the best bathroom Where is it? Can't tell you? What the fuck would you I'll tell you off air? I don't want people going there take a pictures and pooping in there

That's ours. That's my spot People know Yankee Stadium very easy to find family bathrooms They got the thing for the baby to come out. Those are gross that baby's not coming out If you're changing your baby at Yankee Stadium, yeah You don't want your my baby. I don't want your kid to live. I'd rather let my kids sit and shit Yep, get an infection. We'll deal with it tomorrow. Get some penicillin. Yeah, at least it's from you Yeah, that's a fucking 50 year old bozo. We'll just throw the baby out. I can't change this here. Yeah throw him out But yeah, I did hit Yankee Stadium. It was a very clean day. We didn't touch anything. I'm sure I'm trying

We're both still alive Inside We're dying dead on the outside But anyway, can we talk about this couch? Yes, because I Wanted to go back because this this woman that sold me the couch. She was quite the talker You know people just like just keep going. They just keep talking which is fine. You know, I'm a friendly guy I'll I'll entertain I'll chat it up, but it's a little you know Yeah, it was a little crazy like off-putting like to the point where you were like don't speak to me

Anymore No, I would never say that no, no, but in my head. I'm like I better not ask a question Because I don't want to go down this road again. Yeah, every question was 10 minutes. You are not a rude person. No But I know at one point in your excuse me in your head you were like stop fucking talking to me. Oh, absolutely. Yes Maybe even multiple times Yeah, every every 10 minutes every 10 minutes Oh, I was there Jesus. Yeah, and I picked out things almost immediately, but it was a long thing It was a long thing dude and also getting furniture is like buying a car. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot

How much can you put down? It's like Jesus. Yeah, much of my fucking pain for this fucking elephant tusk this fucking couch So I'm saying it's a couch. How hard can it be to make a couch? Maybe a little tough But yeah, I don't know about thousands of that. I wouldn't know where to start my couch is $2,200. It's just a couch I know it's not you know anything crazy. That's a great $2,200. You're gonna use it every day. Yeah, that's great And it's comfortable as fuck. I like it's a bed like it's it's not like a like this couch is terrible Yeah, that I have now getting rid of that. So I want to get a new one It's always make fun of the way we I sit on that couch because you take the fucking pads off

No, they like state that couch is so shitty. It's yet. The pad ends up like under my ass Where it should be. What do you mean? No the back all the back pad You guys can't see Joe got me a chair to help my back So now I'm very comfortable now. I don't know how that chair got in here to be honest. I put it in here Oh, okay. Yeah, Joe didn't get you a chair. Joe didn't get me actually you did technically for the office Yeah But are like are you gonna buy new chairs for the new office? We did you get any chairs while you were there or just a couch?

I got a couch and I got a bed and I got like a little table because the table I have now is too big for the Area that I want to put it so I just want to get a smaller table. That's like counter height Yeah, you know, it's got chairs. I mean, it's a standard like table. It's nothing crazy. You're tossing that table, right? I'm not gonna toss it because it is a cool table where I'm like, you know, I'm gonna keep it around We'll find a place to put it. Yeah, but anyway, this lady is talking to me and she's saying all this stuff And then like the first day immediately she comes up to me And I hate dealing with like salesmen at these stores because they're just like, you know, the worst They don't leave you alone. She did a good job of giving me my space at first

Which is you know, whatever because usually they just stand behind you and I'm like, dude, please Yeah, just get away from me, but she was good on that But then but then she was you know, she was saying she's like I promise if you come to me because I told her immediately I was like, I'm not buying anything today. Like I'm just looking standard. Don't you know, get off my ass Yeah, don't like, you know, you should get you look great in this. You know what I mean? I'm not don't do that. Yeah, so she told me if I came back to her. She'd give me 20% off I was like, I'm taking that. Yes, you know, so it's like, all right, cool. You know, whatever I still want to visit some other places. It's 20% of 2200 probably even more. That's a lot of money. Yeah

So I was like I was like, I'm still gonna bounce around look at other places which I did I went to other places but the other places weren't a nice so I came back and yesterday I went in there she was talking to me the whole time and then At one point when I decided what I was gonna get she Was like I have to fill out like a credit report and it actually it like it actually like

Your salary or something your salary. Yeah, right. You're and you're estimated income or whatever, right? Like what they do with credit cards, right? Exactly. So yeah, it's a credit check. So I put what I put and she goes You're worried about that 15% and I'm like Yeah, I'm trying to save some fucking money on this shit. That's rude Kind of so I was just like as she goes in you're worried about that 15% and she's she was talking to me the whole time She's telling me about her kids and her husband and her, you know, I'm worried about my son. He's going to wherever he's going in college I'm like What and then she's like am I talking too much? I'm like, you know, I'm in my head. I'm like, yeah. Yeah, and

That was and I was just like, no, you're good. Like don't worry about it. Like whatever. She goes. I'm sorry I'm a Gemini so it happens. I hate when people tie their shit to their fucking astrology sign I know like listen like a part of me like Like believes in like us as human beings are in tune like I guess like with the earth like the planet but like Don't say you're fucking chatty. Kathy just cuz the month you were born in yeah You're just an annoying person. It's not that you're annoying. It's that you're trying to get your sale Yeah, also you want that commission originally. She told me the 20% then I hit her up the next day

And she was and I was on the phone with her and she was like, I was like, yeah, we're still good on that 20% right? And she's like ha ha ha. No promises. Wait, you were texting someone. Yeah She gave me her number and she wrote ha ha ha. Please don't tell me any emojis or no, there wasn't there wasn't But if she sent you an emoji, I would have been like this person needs to be spoken So I'd she was like don't you moj me if you don't know me. Wow, that's a that's a shirt Yeah, that I would never wear but it's a shirt somewhere Don't don't don't you moj me if you don't knows me if you don't knows me nice and then knows emoji as the I'm all over it. This guy's fucking merge genius. Wow. Um, so anyway, I

I go in there Well before that she was like, oh, no promises whatever so then whoa, she said no promises, right? So now I'm like, all right, so this 20 was bullshit. She's like lying bitch So I go in there mind you I will say she was a very nice woman. She just talked a lot She's a salesman. She's trying to do her job saleswoman. God. Sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry It's 2018. I need to go. I'm gonna be on CNN tomorrow apologizing for that one. I just said she was a bitch. Yeah

So I go in and she tells me that She's like, I don't know. She's like, I'm gonna see what I could do and I was like I was like the whole reason why I picked this store was because you told me that yeah, of course I was and then she's like, I'll see what I can do. I see what I can do I hate when they say things like that. Yeah, and I say you already told me what you can saw See what you could do. I know you said you saw 20 percent. Yeah, I think you see me in the store and she actually even said something like You know, oh, I see you're trying to get everything you're got I'm like, I'm not trying to pull anything

Is this what I'm trying to suck your penis. I was like, this is the stuff you told me like I'm I got this information from you That's why I'm expecting it dude. You got catfished No, I did not get catfished by a furniture sales. I was already in the store at this point Oh, I thought this was exchange via tax No, I said no, no, no the only part of this exchange during text was you said no promises and I was like and I told her like whatever she's like just come in and You know, I'll see what I could do. I was like, all right, so I go that's catfishing. What's catfishing? You got catfished. I did not get catfished. She did how?

She told you originally 20% off right and then you're exchanging text with her where you ask about the 20% off Yeah, and she was like he he he lol we'll see maybe it was haha Which is completely different he he has a different connotation if someone I was gonna buy something from said he he No one he he'd sales off. There was no he he unless you're buying lemonade from a lemonade sand. Yeah from a child No, he he also don't text a child. Yeah Let's do that. Yeah, let's put that up Drake. Yeah, Jesus that guys weird. Yeah texting Millie Bobby Brown I feel like we flamed him before I don't want to just

Get out of there Drake. She's 14. Yeah enough with the texting. All right. You already got the 18 year old Don't he he there was no he he it was haha. I'll give you that it was haha It was not he he but even the haha is like haha. Yeah, all right. Yeah, just come in it wasn't like haha Fucking idiot get over here. But anyway, so I get there and and then that's when I felt like it started become I can't help you so so then I was like, yeah, I'm holding out like Levy on Bell here. I'm not backing down I'm like popping bottles in the club. Yeah, I'm not spending my money. Yeah, I'm not gonna I'm holding out this season I'm not gonna I won't play till week 10. Yeah, like you know what I mean, but I ended up getting 15 Yeah, I ended up getting 15% off though

But it was funny because I when I when I said the thing like I had to write how much Like annually I make or whatever on average. I wrote it and she like made this whole big deal And it was just kind of uncomfortable and she goes are you're a celebrity? I was like, no, I mean you are I'm not gonna have this argument with you I'm not a celebrity. He hates whatever he's up. But here's the thing. Yeah Me personally. Yeah, that is so unprofessional It was a little bit because if somebody writes their credit and writes their annual income, you can't say that you cannot React to their income. Yeah. Yeah, you can't and she was actually like I can't even put it in and I was like

Yes, you can I Even understand like even at that point. She's trying to like suck your dick probably like and I mean they'll be like, yeah Yeah, like oh, yeah, let's squeeze a table out of them. Yeah, I also was like I like this table She goes what about that one? I'm like, that's literally like triple the price. Yeah I'm good That's very very very very bad. That was the only part that I was like, listen if you're you're a salesman I get it and you know, it's funny. I swear on my life as soon as she said that nothing I was just like it was sort of uncomfortable. So I was just like, yeah, like, you know, whatever

Like I don't do well in those situations, but oh you don't no, I don't I don't like when that happens It's weird. Can we tell the ranger game story or no? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can't we'll get to that. We'll get to that. We'll get to that Yeah, that was a funny story. No, but um, the part that I wanted to get to was like So I kept joking around with her about the 20% because we agreed on 15. We came down to it We agreed on 15. We'd be passive aggressive though. She's like, ah, 20 though. Yeah, I was doing it the entire time. So she Every time I brought it up, she would be very serious and kind of explain the whole thing I'm like, all right. Yeah, whatever. I'm just smile and laugh it off and then she's like and then she at one point

She goes you believe me, right? And I go, no I was like, no, no, it's just like Joseph I was like, I don't I was like, I was like, listen, it's totally fine. Like this is your job. You're a salesman I was like, this is this is what you're supposed to do. You got me. Yeah, you got me for 15. I'm here. I'm buying this, you know You got me. So that's it in your head Would you go at what was the lowest you were gonna take going in there 15 15. All right, so you got Yeah, all right works out for everyone. I was happy with it. I was fine That is a wholesale

Based off false pretenses Yes, but that's part of the game. Yeah, but you know Because here's the thing if I'm gonna sell you something and I say hey I'll give this to you for a hundred bucks and you show up and I go give me 120. You're gonna be like, no, I Know and you can't have an attitude and then you're gonna comment on my my net earnings It was my gross wealth. It's a little different because you're you're paying. It's a discount Yeah, but Don't say 20 and then give me 15%

Whatever she did offer 20 if I took the furniture like in three days or at the end of the month But I was like I needed in the middle. She's I just settled for 15. It was fine sales Well, we got more holes in Swiss cheese and listen. She was a very nice woman and like she's just doing her job Right, was she older than you or younger? No, she was older than all right. So you kind of like yeah Get your hustle on. Yeah, I mean dude. I understand the game. You know, that's why I'm there. I'm holding out I would I'm playing the game. Yeah, I'm holding out. You know what I mean? One of us is gonna break a little hell. Yeah, I would have walked out of there again I'll I'll be back tomorrow. I'll probably could have got 35 honestly, but I was tired

So I didn't want to do that But it was funny, but yeah, she said she was a Gemini and that was the whole reason that's just so and I was like I'm a Pisces. What does that mean? She's like, I don't know. I was like, all right. Yeah, like I'm an Aquarius That's the only reason I'm funny is because I'm an Aquarius. Yeah, you're Pisces. We're not compatible. Yeah, that's awesome If you really like hold true to your horoscopes. I don't I don't I'm not compatible with any of you then Yeah, so my what's my dick's gonna hit like a force field. Here's the thing Right, I'm a pie. Yes Aquarius alert Aquarius penis. She's like no I'm a Pisces and I don't know who I'm compatible or not compatible with

But if you know that information, we're not compatible Okay, yeah, if you know like oh, you're a Pisces. We're compatible. Nope. Yeah, because you know that no just a girl like what are you? an Aquarius, oh Geez Italian. No, I mean like what are you like your stars? You are that's bad. We would be so bad It's like you're goddamn right. We would we're not gonna be anything at all. We're done. We're not even gonna be friends Yeah, this is over. I'll be over here. Yeah, talk to a normal person. Yeah, but anyway the ranger story is kind of funny All right. Do you want to tell it? Do you want me to tell it? I think I'll tell I'll tell my point of view All right, and then I'll tell and then yeah, I'll tell it up to the good part

so anyway We're at the ranger game And shout out to me guys shout out to the basement yard too because I feel like a lot of people were recognizing me and I think it's because of the basement yard. Yeah More than ever we were snapping pics in there. Yeah, it was it was cool. Uh, and There's this girl mackayla that I know Right from from just knowing who you know follows your stuff or whatever sweetheart of the lady. Yeah, she's great so

She was at the game and as we were walking out because it was like the end of the first period mind you Uh You know me because of ben and jet who's on the team. He's a friend of ours. He got tickets to the game So you they with those tickets There's like this room that you can go to before the game and in between periods and like after the game That has free drinks and free food friends and friends and family right so we walk out and we're it's end in the first period and we're walking out of the room

We're walking out of our seats to go, you know, whatever and as we get to the top of the stairs mackayla comes So like out of nowhere and goes hey joe and i'm like, oh shit. Hey, what's up mackayla wearing a wearing a joe sanagato hat right she was wearing one of the x hats from the sanagato store dot com g book and uh Shit, so she was wearing one of those and i'm like, hey, it was on mackayla like whatever blah blah She said hello to me first very nice. Yeah, didn't like just wasn't just like going to go straight for joe's Hey dan, what's up? Oh, what's going on? Just went right for joe after that. Yeah

and uh so She's like can I buy you guys a drink? and I go no But then so i'll let yous tell this store. Okay, all right even a little bit before that. Yeah, so all right So we're we're a point of view so we're walking up And to joe's defense people people were going like joe left and right for a second. Yeah, you're like yo joe joe joe joe joe joe

This girl mackayla sweetheart comes up says. Oh, hey, Danny. What's up? Oh joe. What's going on? um It's like awesome. It's my friend's birthday or something and joe is like, you know, he's sitting there And he's i'm engaging. Yeah, he's doing his thing a little bit um Then somebody else says hello to him. So he turns and looks and as that's happening This girl mackayla goes. Hey, can I buy you guys a drink? And joe just goes no

And just walks away Doesn't make any physical contact with her No hugs no picture just says no And walks away So now I contact I make eye contact with her like My face when he said it I went I went like this. I swear to god, I just went So I literally put my hand on her I go, oh Thank you so much, right? We actually have we're in the the friends and family suite where we get drinks for free

So it's okay. We're actually heading up there to eat right now Oh, this kills me. So I had to save the situation So as we're walking out, I go joe, do you know what you just did? No, I think I brought it up. No, I was I hadn't laughed that hard. No I think when we got into the years. No, but I think when we got to the concourse I turned around immediately. It was like yo, that was bad. Yeah, it was really bad because yo, I don't want to get the wrong idea Never in my life. Will I ever be that person? No, but I've never seen you turn down a picture ever I've never seen you not say hello to someone the only reason why I did that. No, right? Yeah

It was really bad. I was like And I like stretch. I was like no and then I just walked away The reason why that happened though was because I was I thought she was walking with us because everyone was walking out together If I stopped for another second people would have been like, hey buddy, let's go Also joe walked out by himself. Yeah, I thought he just left. I thought you guys were behind me No, the fuck I feel like the poor girl's heart shattered. No, no, no and also let's just we'll we'll clean it up Because yes, but I knew I had to stay. I know and be like

Yeah, he's not like this. He's not like this. Please. It's just that we're going somewhere where there's drinks for free save your money It's awesome. Thank you so much for supporting the show. Yeah, I was like So let me go catch up with him. Hold on. All right, and then I catch up with you in the concourse, right? So then I Whatever so later on we got to explain this to her because we ran into her again But I also hit her up on on instagram and I was like and I explained the situation. I was like I felt like I said that Because I didn't want you to spend your money because we're getting drinks for free. Yeah, otherwise I'd have been like, yeah Fuck it. Let's go get drinks or whatever. But the fact that she said that I thought she was walking with us also

Yeah, so on the way back we saw them and we explained everything and like she's really cool and like she's awesome And I felt so bad and that's why you were laughing so hard. I felt like such a I was like, oh my god. That's so bad. We were in the friends and family suite I was laughing so hard That I couldn't speak And I could just see joe's face was so red. He was so embarrassed. He was like, yo bro, shut the fuck up I hated it. He was just like dude. I hate talking about it now Yeah, he's like, you know, I feel like such a fucking asshole. I was like, dude

I Didn't understand until you told me why you did it but I was like, holy shit. I've never seen the side of him before I was like that was the most douche thing I've ever seen I would never in a million years do that. That's why I looked at you like so like, oh my god, did that just happen? No peace bitch and leave It was even worse the way you said it because it was just like no Yeah, see you I can see how that is

But we did we we hung out basically this Most of the second period I feel like yeah, and then yeah, and then we talked to her for a long long time Yeah, and she got it and then it was our friend's birthday. Yeah, we talked about yeah. Yeah, it was nice Dude, that was so bad and another thing. I was so like, oh god. This is like that didn't look good I literally when I looked back you walked around the entire friends and family suite for about like a good 10 minutes I was pacing no because you know when I got to the concourse and I looked back. I'm like, yo, they're not behind me And I thought after because I was going to explain to her right then and there that like she was like Can I buy you guys a drink and I was like no and then some dude yelled my name and I was like, hey man

And then people were just like walking by me. So yeah, you're getting you're getting pushed out It's not like it was clear, but right So I was like I need to go and I figured that you and her would be behind me Because I thought she was going to get a drink so that I could further explain like Because we're at this thing blah blah blah, but then when I saw that you guys weren't there I'm like, this looks really fucking bad and I'll be honest her face was kind of like Oh for a second now and I I was like, let me cover this up. Oh god, but we cut we spoke to her Yeah, sweetheart. She understood the entire thing. Right. Yo, the other thing was

That on a previous episode I talked about how fast I used to be And joe was like, there's no way. Here we go. All right. Yeah, and your friend and A kid that I was on my football team with was there And confirmed the 40 time he was there everyone ready I got a tornado. See how I'll dust you right now. Yeah, dude because like actually I don't know I know I don't know you really how far how far are we going?

I don't know What does that matter if it's like 20 yards? I might have you That's where you're definitely not winning Let me get in shape. I'll dust you. Okay. Go ahead. You ever ran a sub four six in your life You're living in the glory days. I'm just letting you know, I can still get back Okay, don't light a fire under me. You're not running a four six ever again. Probably not A sub a sub four six. Oh, okay. Sorry Everyone congratulate Danny when he was 17 years old

He was fast You didn't believe me and I could have believed that you think that I would like who lies about a 40 time you and I didn't I don't know your friend and I don't know who was doing this watch either and he got paid Hey, dude, I don't even know that guy Okay, all right Then and then, you know, I think in terms of that Like just to go back to like to the beer to the no thing. Yeah I just feel like there was a point where

As soon as you said it, you knew it was like the wrong thing No, because at the moment, I didn't think it was a wrong thing. I don't think you did anything wrong No, it was just I didn't like because my plan in my head was like I'm going to say no because I don't want this girl spending money when she doesn't have to because we're getting for Three drinks. So I was going to explain that but things happened and I had to leave and then when you weren't behind me I was like, this is bad. Yeah, like I need to fucking fix this but

Like I almost gave you a second to like Like give me the look back. Just guys took off All right before we move on. Let's get to the sponsor here. We have blue apron All right, blue apron delivers farm fresh ingredients and step by step recipes to your door Let me just paint a picture for you. Okay You want to cook you can't you don't really know where to begin. You don't know anything about food. You're an idiot I'm talking about myself here. Okay a box shows up From this company called blue apron

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It's like I tell you what it's like that guy from pawn stars. Yeah some guy comes in He's like I have the declaration of independence And he's like I could do 125 Listen, like whoa, what listen on grandma died for this A lot of people aren't into this type of stuff most I can get forward. It's 2,500 So the best part about that too is like, you know, I got a declaration of independence guy I'm gonna wait till he gets here some dude comes over with like a fucking magnifying glass like slick back hair How you doing? Yeah, uh

It's a copy Most I can do is 60 bucks see because you could tell john hancock signed his name the biggest But unfortunately This isn't his john right different john hancock Wow, I can't believe it's fake. Yeah, sorry, bud. We're gonna have to pass That's one of the best things ever in pawn stores when they come in And the guys like, you know, my grandma had my great-grandma had this pass it down to my grandma and then my mom and then me Guys like 25 fucking dollars

Fuck you and your family That's been that people have been wasting time passing down. They're like 25 fucking That's all I could do you for and the guys are like, all right. This is my great-great-grandfather's world war one Fucking dog tags as you could see there's a bullet He got shot there and died and they gave it to me. It's from world war one 10 bucks honestly How do I really know your your grandpa was in world war one? Most I can get for this 50 bucks, man. I'll give you I'll give you 28 short. I love it

Who's interested in buying like an old musket? What do you do with that rich people but like for what to show it off? To what put it above your fireplace, you know what that is That's a musket from the civil war. That's great. Can you put the fucking game on? I know Fuck this old gun. Yeah, I don't want that old game on but even like sports memorabilia though Like that's cooler to me than like a musket. I'm not into like autographs or anything like no, but like I would love like A homerun Ball did you see the thing? I saw it the other day espn posted it

When mark mcguire hit his 70th home run in whatever fucking year that was was it 2003 or something 2003 Hit his 70th home run. By the way, that's absurd. I know the guy who caught it The cardinals offered him a bat a signed jersey And something else and he's like, oh, but I also want to meet mark mcguire probably a huge cards fan Yeah, mark mcguire was like nah And then the guy sold it like three months later for three million dollars In 2003 see That's why

I would never give anything back to an athlete that was Worth something. Yo three million dollars in 2003 Holy shit. Yeah For nothing That's wild For catching a home run if I caught if I caught anything record breaking and they came to me I'd be like, dude, don't even come to me with that. Either he's buying it for me or i'm selling it. Peace What if you caught it?

And jeter jogged from the plate to the outfield and was like, yo, can I get that? I'm saying no Damn, yeah in front of the whole stadium in front of the whole stadium in the world the tv. You're like, I'm good. I'm good Damn because I'm looking at it like this if this really means that much to you. You'll pay what you want to pay for it I'm out here in the bleachers, dude This ball can change my life Yeah This ball if you get it back is just to boost another thing that goes on your mantle It's true of all your other amazing accomplishments that I will never accomplish

Including being that rich. Mm-hmm So let's make a deal Let's make a deal. What's the least amount of money you would take for a 70th home run ball Because that was a record, right? Yeah, I would take like a million dollars The least because you know it no one's ever done it before all right this all right Jeter's three thousandth hit which was a home run How much money are you asking how much are you settling for if he comes to you is like y'all give you 200 grand for it easily Okay, so you're it's way less than a million dollars. Yeah

But if you said $200,000, what if you said 75 grand which is Due to shit to him 200k. What about 75 grand? No, because I know on the market someone's gonna want to buy that ball So what's the least 100? I would say like 150 would probably be the lowest I would let it go for 150k. Yeah cash Oh Not claiming that. Yeah, like I want Jeter to show up fucking pop the briefcase open Here give me my ball because Listen, I'm a you know me. I'm a diehard Yankee fan. This is why this is surprising. Yeah

I don't give a shit About anything that guy would not know who I was if that ball did not land on my face Yeah, and in my stomach and in my hands. Yeah, okay The only reason this man is talking to me and giving me a fraction of his time Is because he accomplished something and wants the ball back. Mm-hmm I don't give a shit about the memories you made for me I don't give a shit about any of that comes down to the dollars Would you give it back to jeets?

I'd have to talk to a lot of people. Yeah, I'm not just going on a whim that day just being like Hey, man, just a huge Yankee fan. Just happy to be a part of the Yankee family. I'd be like, yo, this is what we're doing You're giving me this. I do think I want season tickets for the rest of my life I want 200k and season tickets for the rest of my life that I can hand down to my children Right other than that. I'm going to sell it. See you and you could buy it back from them for way more I You are the one the rarest bargaining positions of all time. Yeah, you are I just feel like I I do feel like if I caught it

And this dude like comes to the fucking wall. It's like, yo, can I get that in front of everyone? I figure a bitch out and toss it. No fucking way. First of all, as soon as I cash that thing I'm getting out of the stadium. Yeah, you have to I'm I'm going to a cop and I'm being like, yo, please get me out of here That's what they do though. Yeah, they do that because they know this person's gonna get robbed. Yeah, I'm like, yo, I need to get out of here, please Get me out of here Give jeets my number Let's go sit down. Let's let's make a deal. Do you think they'll ever put something in place? Where the baseball isn't yours

They used to do that with basketballs. I know basketball is in the NBA Like if they kick it into the stands, you can't keep it. You can't keep it. They still don't. Yeah, they have to give it back You have to give it back and then football. I think they used to do that too. They got rid of that But they got but they got rid of that. No, no, no Well, if they throw it into the crowd didn't they give cam a hard time for doing this I'll give it to the little kids. No, the kids take them, but they take them. Yeah, dude Do you remember that one guy on monday night because baseball you see how many fucking baseballs they waste the game The thing like touches one piece of the grass. They fucking throw that shit away. Yeah

Yeah, you're right So you would you would give it back. I don't know you can't dude You talk about a life changing opportunity there I just feel like as like I'd rather derrick jeter think i'm a douche and be rich Then have him not know who I was Do you keep your high school helmet? Yes, me too I stole it

But like imagine some someone took it and was just like, you know, you give me fucking 500 bucks for it. You'd be like suck my ass. Yeah, I'd be like this helmet sucks No, but you'd be like, yo, fuck you like why you being like, you know what I mean? Yeah, but nobody took it you hit it to me I could see if I remember one so years years and years and years ago But how would you feel though if you hit a record breaking thing you worked your entire life. Yeah, you worked your entire life to get to this point and Yo, honestly at a certain point, especially when you're a professional athlete money isn't the thing at all

It's like I am I was a kid and I wanted to do this stuff and now I'm one of the greatest And I hit this ball and some guys like y'all 250k. It's like bro I earned this my whole life was dedicated to that ball and you're not gonna give it to me That's how I look at it. And then I look at it like this My father spent his hard earned money For me to come to these games. I've been coming to these games since this I've been a dedicated fan since I was fucking since I was born in the Bronx, dude. That's not the same It's not the same. It's not the same. No

So so meet fans don't make a difference Not you personally. I'm just saying if I catch the ball now I do I don't know. I'm etched in Yankee fucking history after that I don't know. I just I just it's very simple if I'm jeter I want I want that ball. Okay. Look at sabathea the other day What? He hit a guy and lost $500,000. What does that have to do with anything? Money's not a problem

There's money's not an issue. Exactly. You're gonna get the ball back But that's what I'm saying. Why are you gonna? I'm fucking you're fucking help me help you It's not help me help me. I fucking worked for this. Okay, you didn't. Yo, are you really gonna compare me hitting 3,000 fucking hits To you showing up to a fucking game. No, I'm talking about the money Isn't it isn't a problem. It's not. Hey, it ain't no problem. It's the it's the principal. It's the principal I don't give a shit about principles. That's where we're doing. That's where we differ But you're gonna give it to him to be like that story is cool until a guy like me asks you why didn't you get money for it? Because you gotta get the money for it. I'm negotiating a deal

Just like you got that 15 percent. What if what if just like you got that 50 percent on that couch? We're talking what if jeter came to you and he gave you this whole story about how much it meant to him I'd be like, yo, that's awesome I Would love to like not have to worry about my rent for like five years I feel you I feel I get both sides the Yankees make a billion dollars a year I it's not about you just you keep saying the money and then you keep saying it's not about the money To them, it's not about the money. They don't worry about money. I worry about money

It's the principal to them. It's like this fucking guy's gonna hold on to this now. Yeah I I would be mad if I was the player Be mad at me, then Wouldn't be the first person that's mad at me. That's all I'm saying I would be like, yo, fuck this guy. Yeah, of course. All right. That's what I'm saying I'm saying think about it from that guy's point of view if it's me Like because money is not a thing Only this matters to me. Mm-hmm. This is my entire life. How much does it matter to you?

Yeah, exactly. Like, yeah, that's fucking scumbag though. I really don't think it is. I do I see Mark McGuire is a scumbag Yeah, I don't want to meet the guy and the guy sold it for good on him. Good. Everyone should take that guy's lead I can't I don't know General care about me. It's not about caring. I don't need him to fucking kiss me and I don't care about how hard you work to get here That's bad. Why because Why because as someone who's if I'm in a position to get money

off of a ball What's the worst thing that happened? Oh, they're just feelings got hurt. Yeah. Oh, no That's how I feel that's it. You feel like you'll get over it. I'm well, this is what I'm saying I understand where you're coming from. If I worked my entire like as an athlete If I worked my entire life to get to a certain point and I did something historic Some guys like I'm not giving it to you To me in my eyes, it's like, you know, I earned that ball Right

Like I I I dedicated my entire life to I earned that ball and you're holding out because you want money Mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't I don't agree with that So you would give it you you would without a doubt just go here you go. G. It's thanks for everything Not it not without a doubt, but if if he if he personally if he personally asked me and was just like And he told and he said exactly what I said I'm of course giving him that ball if it I would be like let's go to dinner and talk about it then Will me Will me. Yeah, no

Then don't buy it. Will me then don't buy it Then don't buy it. We're just what somebody else is gonna buy it. That's fine We were different Will me yeah the fuck do you think you are will me you're coming up here ask for me talking to me You wouldn't be talking to me if I didn't have this ball If you wanted this ball so bad making a regular hit don't hit it home run So it's about the money to you fucking super stuff. Yes It's all about money

I don't know. I can't dude. I've seen you negotiate deals Not one part of you is gonna be like i'm just gonna give this ball back Do not sit on the other side of that table if something tell me that you're gonna do that So if something means the world to somebody and they express that to me I can't I don't have it in me to be like I don't care. I'm selling it to some other asshole I I can't that's where we differ. Yeah It is I just can't if if the reason why I said it was not without a doubt I'm giving it back to him if he like sent somebody to be like go get that ball

I'd be like nah Or I'd be like he's gonna have to like ask me for it. Yeah, like I want you to tell me You know what I'm saying But if it was just like some that's what I meant by woo me you said take me out to dinner. Yeah, woo me Yeah, as if you're fucking Fucking president. Yeah No You only have so many opportunities in life to be in that position

No, I feel like and this is where I know we're different Only one person in that equation earned that ball Okay, that's it I did nothing If I catch it, I did nothing. I paid to catch it Graduate you want your ticket money back? No, I want season tickets take that Season tickets. Yeah for the rest of my life. Yeah I would think about that if you if you give like jeter's story like you're saying it and the Yankees are like

We'll give you season tickets for the rest of your life We'll think about that No, you wouldn't I want the money. Yeah, you do especially yet That you just told me a guy made 3.2 million dollars. Yeah You'd be nuts as a life-changing money It's it's it's life-changing money. It's the principle. I don't know it it it doesn't sit it hurts me It hurts me it does it does it hurts me

what Just because I would never like if that happened to me I would be devastated Knowing that I'm coming into the season and I have a chance to hit 3,000 hits Yeah, but you can get it back. It's not like it's not like I'm like Sending you like videos of like like the Joker in the dark night like hanging people upside down like oh, I'm dropping an acid That's fucking write me a check write you a check write me a check See, but that's the point. I want that ball, but I don't have to spend 500,000 dollars to get it. I'm sorry all right

Mr. Jeter If it was mark McGuire, I'm getting that 3 million fuck mark McGuire, but it's Derek Jeter That's the difference though If it was someone other team, I don't give a fuck. I don't I'm not a friend of your team Let me ask you a question. What? Were you more of a Mets fan or a Yankee fan growing up Yankee fan? so Anyone on the Mets, I wouldn't care

Nobody Mike Piazza You admit you would make him pay. Yeah So it's just you got to think for jeets. No. Well, well, yeah, all right It's Derek Jeter. It's but of course I'm a fan of this team and this is Derek Jeter a rod then seven if he hits 700 home run you caught it What year is it? How many years into this Yankee contract are we in It's true

I don't know man The Derek Jeter example is the one I'm giving because it's like, you know, this dude was baseball and he was new york Yeah, like he's the captain. Yeah, and it's like this guy is a guy. I've met him before I'm saying it's the guy You know, I mean it's very brief But I met him Just saying that's that's what I'm saying because I'm thinking about it if I'm an athlete and and I know how much Little acolytes like that

Not little but like things like that mean to you as an athlete Right, the money just comes with it like I dedicated my entire life made no money for so long Because I love this game And then the I get paid and it's like whatever that comes with the territory and you know, whatever you're a great player But to be historic You really have to care And if I hit this I I I care about it so much I know you're gonna make me pay for it. I just I can't do it

But technically by the rules if it gets hit out there, I can keep it Yeah, you can keep it It would be one thing if you wanted to keep it. Yeah, maybe I would You wouldn't and you know, I wouldn't sell it immediately. I think I should appreciate. No, you wouldn't see If it's one thing if you keep it like I'd rather keep this that's different But if you're like, I'm getting money like it's that's I just can't And maybe that's dumb that is dumb. It's 100% dumb most people would not do that

Most people would not just give it back. Yeah. Yeah, of course because they have brains. Yeah, I guess so I guess you're supposed to be a good negotiator. No wonder you only got 50% on that couch It's not about being a negotiator. So yeah, sap story about our kids or some shit. No, you could have got that extra 5% It's not about being a negotiator because that is a negotiation of me. I didn't earn this We're opening up terms and I'm not buying anything Supply the myth You got I got something you want. Let's let's at least talk about you know what happened Someone kicked a kickball into your yard and then you're making them pay for it

Fuck yeah, that is not how the world works that that kickball. That's a terrible terrible. Why because Who's the great the greatest kickball player of all time? It's not my yard now. It's not my yard. You told me the Yankees wouldn't pay me to get it back. Not jeter himself. No Why would they pay you for it? They don't care. Why do they care? Oh, they're gonna be gone. They care. Why would they care? What are they gonna do with it? It means nothing to the Yankees. It means something to Derek Jeter. That's it So when the cardinals came over who offered them that stuff not mark McGuire The cardinals offered him that yeah, I'll bat and shit. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. They're not gonna pay $200,000 for it

Sillyness Why would the cardinals pay $200,000 for that ball? They don't give a fuck mark McGuire's gonna be here and gone I think the Yankees would have paid for it because it was jeter. No And do what with it? Give it back to him. Why would they do that? Because why not? Because he's on his way out Please No one cares. It's fucking cheats, dude. No Oh, now it's cheats. I'm just telling you I'm going to your I'm going to your side of it

Whatever. All right Make a deal Make a deal. Make a deal. You ever seen a show? How do I make a deal? How Mandel how was that is that how Mandel? Or is that that's deal or no deal? Oh, yeah, I would I feel like I would It's a complete chance, but I feel like I'm gonna do well on that show. Which one? Uh deal or no deal All right, because I feel like I'm one of those dumb enough people that will be good on it Yeah, I feel like the dumb guys always do good. No, I think that you're that you'd hold you you would never make a deal

Fuck no. Yeah, I said you'd lose all your money. Yeah, but that guy's I'm pretty much certain that guy's an asshole though Who that guy the producer? Up there. It's just like a shadow of some dude pretending to be an ally Mandel makes a fake joke. He's like Okay Okay He thinks you're fat and ugly as shit. Yeah, right We're only gonna offer you 31 000 dollars. Yeah, and then I have a bozo like you over there She's like, don't take it. Yeah

I I'd crush on those shows. You'd probably tell me to take it like 30 grand be like, yo, dude, like fifth like 15 000 is pretty good. Like take that deal. I'm not Greedy when it comes to that stuff like when it comes to game shows and like whatever I'm not greedy because like if like who wants to be a millionaire I get to like 100k. Yeah, but if I miss this question, it goes down to 50k. I'm taking the six What I'm taking the six figures But I'm saying but but but the next one's 500 000 You're doing the question

Here's why I wouldn't be confident in myself to get the question, right? And I know It's gonna be astronomically different from 100 000 in difficulty to 500 000 They're gonna ask me some shit that I don't know. Yeah, I'll take that six figures. Let's bounce I don't think you're that guy. You're riding high. I'm a rider. You are I'm gambler. Yeah You've got to know when I tell you what show I would crush on family feud Yeah, my family would crush your family in the future. My family would beat the shit out of your family and family

Damn dude, we might have to do that My family will crush you and family feud our dad's allowed Hope not Oh, no, it doesn't matter just moms, huh? No, no, what about siblings? It's four on four, right? Yeah Yeah, how do you feel about jarrod versus thomas thomas will smoke jerry crazy. I don't know jarrod's pretty good family Yeah, he is also a smooth talker. Yeah. Yeah, he knows a lot of words Mike versus keith I know I could take you

What are you nuts? I don't I don't know besides madden You've never beat me in anything. What have we done minigolf torched you spelling bee won that Fifth grade test won that too It was a silver medal, but I beat you Danny If you want pick ten things I guarantee you I beat you at at least six of them. There was three and i'm three. No, okay. No, what? Yeah Okay

mini golf if you watch an extra show G plug you You got saved the only reason you lost my one stroke is because there's a stroke limit for children That's not true. I beat you in that. Okay. Did I win? Did I win? Thank you. Danny ten things Right fifth grade. I beat you. Okay

Danny ten things Right. Mm-hmm pick ten. I guarantee you I beat you at six of them You're over here sitting like oh, I crush you because I beat you at mini golf How is mini golf and family feud even related at all? No, I'm nice At what I'm nice of the feud. So am I? Do you remember when facebook had the feud on there? I tell you what? I'll beat the shit out of you at jeopardy Probably not. Okay Yo, my dad was mad good jeopardy. Yeah, you know my sister's mad good at fucking

Uh wheel of fortune. I'm good at that too one letter goes up It's like red rocks What's that never mind? But she's good at it. I like how it got hot right there. Yeah, I'm fucking you up in games Yo cranium, you don't even want to see me Yeah, we should do that. Yo catchphrase by the way if you give me my friend dylan or frankie We've never lost ever Ever we should do a trivia night fine. I'm gonna trivia too. I'm not saying you're not

I'm not over here saying you're not talented when I went to I did trivia night five times one four times And the fifth time Drank a little lot. Yeah drink a little drink a little lot. Listen. I'm not saying you're not intelligent What are you saying? I'm just saying you're not better than me. You might you might fold. I'm not folding anything. All right Pressure makes diamonds. I take the last shot And you've missed three of them. That's not true If I knew this was part of the thing we were just having fun. Oh my god

When we went into that fifth grade test we were talking about you were gonna get you were gonna beat me We were making a funny video. Yeah, but you didn't answer those questions No, we didn't know you answered them how you thought they were right and they had there been this shit I would have studied and shit a mini golf We went we went into that mini golf game saying that's true. Yes. There was steaks there, right? Which at no point you still haven't honored which At no point to please don't talk about please don't talk about if if there was this before any of those things

Well the mini golf you won that fair and square you won that you won that all right But also mini golf is not something that I'm like y'all I'll beat any like it's mini golf Like I'm good some days and bad some other days But if you pick 10 things okay after this conversation, right? I'm beating you at six of them Part of me Is looking at a sweep too 10 out of 10 You're underestimating me who could bench more

right now One row I'll I'll bench you one rep. Maybe Don't go too though Boy runs out of gas fast Don't go too though, but you weigh more than me. Yeah, so per pound. No pound for pound. I'm stronger than you Technically oh god, all right right

That's pound for pound. That's a made-up list. It's not a made-up list If fucking Demetrius Johnson fought Daniel Cormier Yeah You know, yeah, but no, I love I love when you get competitive Yeah, I think that's the best side of you honestly I think your competitive energy is what makes you who you are Oh, this is starting to therapy. I like it. No, I think that's what makes you who you are I think you I think you have

A mentality where you want to be the best It's hard for me to not feel like that Yeah, but you want everyone to know you're the best No, yes. No, I want. Yeah, I do I want I want everyone to know But I don't I don't need anyone to say it. No, but you want people to know to be like, you know, actually Actually, that's not true. I don't I don't mind being I don't mind that Don't mind what? Like I don't need everyone to be I don't need to be the best in the room

But I definitely want in some people's eyes in the room to think that I am Some I have to be in the conversation All I need is a shot Right like all I need is a shot like if you just give me a like a shot to be in the conversation And there's some sort of competition that has to separate who it like that's all I need I just want to be in there. All right, so if it's like Do you think you need to be the center of attention? No, not at all and I don't think like I don't think I'm that at all I really don't

I don't think you are You're looking at me like you thought I thought you were no, I just I don't think I have to be center of attention I'll lie to room up Yeah, I think you have it more than I do. Yeah That's just like My personality We had our fantasy draft and there was like It was like a circle and danny like was just cracking jokes the entire time like non-stop

Kill in the room and then he he would stand in the middle of the circle and just like say something funny And then one time he said something and everyone laughed and I was like, you know, how's your set going? Then I just go don't be mad because I'm funnier than you But I could tell that you're like I'm on tonight I'm on I gotta roll let me get in the middle of the room and just start telling these jokes It's funny because you have nights like that like even like when you go out drinking it's some people Yeah, it's like you hit this like pocket where you're like, I'm on fire right now fire Like nothing you say can go wrong

It's certain people too that you're around like there's certain people like the patrop brothers When it's just their family and I'm around you know, I'm on fire Like I'm so funny to them and like whatever it's great and those other two patrops. They don't laugh No, no, no, I was like if I could make these guys laugh I'm killing it Yeah The twins I was like dude these guys are messing up their drafts comes to me But like around all my friends

It's not like that no one I can't like no one is the center of attention really Because everyone's just so funny that there's so much competition that like you have no choice But to be quick on your feet and be funny and like you want to know why I'm like that though because I grew up with Mike and Jared Yeah, probably It was like I was competing every day with two of the funniest people. I think on earth So it's like yo I gotta step my game up every day. Yeah, but um

This is such a ridiculous No, it's all stems from fucking family feud. We think our families would win. I think my family wins that though I think your family would win because your guys you guys are a little more cohesive We're very cohesive like uh, you guys are cohesive too. Yeah, we're cohesive, but like one of us could fly off the handle Oh, I you know, I got Keith in this in this family. Yeah, but I think that Keith will Keith will Yeah, Keith's a lot of people spit in Steve Harvey's face and things don't go his way Like he's nuts. Yeah, like if one of you got like a like mild mildly wrong answer He'd be like, what are you fucking stupid? We'd all kind of be like that. Like it would be bad

There would be a lot of I'll tell you what though. I am very confident in catchphrase like very confident I would give you catchphrase because I haven't played catchphrase in a long time I'm very confident in that Like yo, you know how much time you have to like get whatever there was one time I think me and my friend Dillon got like 14 in a round Like we just killed one word It's just when you gotta be on the same page or something. How are you with this thing? Oh, uh, it's that thing called the heads up. How are you in that? It's the same concept. Yeah, but how are you in that? Yeah, good

You just have to like you have to be because some people don't it's about this Yeah, but it's also about just like saying the right you gotta skip the ones that it's like 10 words Yeah, like don't try to get me to say onomatopoeia You know, I mean, yeah cut to the chase. Yeah, give me a break. You gotta know what to skip So your best boy. Yeah, you gotta do know when to skip. It's very sure my best board game is cranium I don't think I've ever lost playing that game. All right, here we go. I'm serious When me and Frankie play Frankie can't beat you

No, we're it's a two-person game. No, I know. I know but like have you ever lost like Frankie and somebody else? I don't think so I don't remember we always play together though. Yeah, like those guys Like all through like always did like the projects together Elementary school his mom made sure we were in the same class every year. Yeah. See it was one of those things fixing the game. Oh, yeah Big time. I get it thing into You got fired up. I love seeing that energy out of you. Yeah, let's throw the park right now. Shoot free throws

I'll shoot it's a freeze. What was the most free throws you ever made in a row? I think we talked about this like alive in 26 Yeah, but that was how long ago and I was by myself had to go retrieve the ball. Yeah, so nobody was there to clarify. All right Why would it make why would if anything I would say like 14 be close to what you were? I blew you out the water kid I believe you want to see I haven't lost a three-point contest either. We have to we have to fire that up I had a ratty on him. The boys got a ratty on him. You got the ratchet pow pow

I believe it was funny when we were younger. We got to start playing some basketball before it gets too cold Yeah, but your hand was fucked up. So we couldn't do it. I know but I could I could hoop now It is my dominant hand. Like I won't be able to like Shoot shoot that well because my finger doesn't go up anymore. No, yeah No, I know your hands all fucked but like I could still like I could still play some hoop Hope it up. I'm with some bodies around down there. I got torn ACL. So we're we're both dealing with injuries Oh, you can't play basketball then. Yeah, I can dude. It's lateral movement. You're gonna fuck your shit. I've played I played boss 101 beat him. You gotta be careful, man. Yeah, you got to be careful. But like yeah, geez

It even if we're too old to get seriously injured. You know that, right? I'm not no not. Yes, you are 26, dude You're not a professional athlete if you tore your ACL. It's torn. You that's a year of your life Okay And it is it is torn. I did tear it. Yeah, but I'm saying if I'm saying get the surgery I'm not gonna get your life is like on hold for a year A year is a stretch, but seven months sure and you're not getting like that fucking Guys coming to your house fucking pro athlete shit when we played video games

And the guy's fucking working on your shit. Like you're getting in a car going there. You're all fucked up I'm right What the hell was that? It's probably vm. We're gonna start soon. Jesus christ. They're gonna go scared. Just go scared Go scared. Um, anyway, I think we could wrap this up now. It's got a little heated at the end. No, I like that though We're still friends. Yeah, of course. I'm joking. Oh, I wasn't Oh, you thought I was serious? Yeah God, you're a sensitive little bitch. I am lazy me at anything. I would talk shit. I'll just throw you off your game No, no, I'm one of the I'm one of the best shit talkers in the business

I'm the most mentally strong athlete you've ever seen your life. Well, I saw you. I've seen you crack in front of me For who mini golf you cracked? That's a story for another day You keep bringing up this mini golf because you haven't made good on the bet yet Once you make good on the bet, I promise you I'll never bring I'll never bring it up again Listen, that's fine. If you want to talk about the bet, but don't compare mini golf to actual athletic performance As if those are like the same I

Had that been a basketball game Might have hit six threes in a row just because I'm feeling the pressure. Maybe you know, we're gonna see We're gonna You're gonna feel this wrath. Oh boy I'm ready. It's gonna get real competitive around. I'm ready. I'm gonna like race you to the bathroom like weird shit I'm ready. I'm like that. I'm ready. You get a ping pong. No, I suck a ping pong See like I'm not one of those person like that that thinks he's like good at everything Like I know what I suck at ping pong. I'm terrible

See, I'm different. I'm like, yo, if you give me like 10 days, like I'll be better than you I say that about everything I'm like, yo, if we picked up a sport that we've never played before I'm beating you I'm like, yeah Whatever, I don't know. I'll I'll drive the shit out of you too That you will I'm not confident in golf whatsoever. Yeah, I'm trash No, you might be able to be actually anything golf related. I've beaten you in so far. You're gonna beat me in golf Yeah

My what about bowling? I've played are you gonna bowling? Like what's what do you bowl? I'll be lucky to hit 150 Oh, okay. So we're both like in the same boat. Yeah. Yeah, like I'm not one of those guys like putting spin on it Yeah, no, it's a straight line down the fucking line. Yeah, I'm throwing this thing as hard as I can I bowled like a 164 one day and I was just like walking around like yeah I might just start doing this. I think my brother Mike bowled like a 200 once my buddy Ralph bowled a 300 No way. Yeah, he's like good at bowling like he's like he does it for real

Well, he doesn't like do it all the time, but he's like a good bowler. Damn dude. Yeah, I watched him do it And another time in into the last frame He had a perfect game. Oh and boss bowled by accident And fucked up his perfect game That's a I gotta talk to boss about that to ask him. It's the true story. I hope he's out there Yeah, no, I hope so one last thing before we leave. Yep. Um How long is this episode 117? All right. All right. I'll get it. I'll get it out real quick

Would you rather be able to hit like bombs home runs? Or like be able to throw a football like 75 yards home runs I don't know man like being like Aaron Rodgers It's like being able to sling that thing like off off your back foot. I'll tell you why though And everyone who hits bombs in the MOB is nice. Yeah, and they're paid. Yeah, that's true Jamarcus Russell could throw a ball 70 yards. Yeah, that's true from his knees. Yeah, he's out of the league. That's true Still gotta be able to throw it. Yeah, if you can hit 30 home runs, you're gonna find a spot for you

Hell yeah, it doesn't matter who you are How many times you strike out like being able to throw a football would be cool if you were at the beach Just like yeah, I managed to go along just fucking sit that's keep going You'd be like the best fly football player of all time. Yeah, just zipping that thing. That's manly as fuck to me real quick Baker mayfield. I think he went to texas tech, right? He went to cancels and then he transferred to oklahoma No, I thought he was at like texas tech or something Whatever whatever school he came from then he went to oklahoma when he got to oklahoma His first year. I think he was like a red shirt or he couldn't play because of the transfer or something like that

and he was playing intramurals And he was lining it up till to the point where someone was like, yo, this dude was a fucking Started quarterback last year at this fucking d1 school. Kansas is bullshit. Wherever. I don't think it was cancels Yeah, because remember he told him to suck their dick. That was oklahoma though. No, he was on he was on oklahoma But it was cancels I think No, I don't know Baker mayfield college Texas tech. I was right. It was can't texas tech. You know what there you go. Boom scores one nothing. I beat you

Texas tech, baby All right, anyway, we gotta end this episode. We're dragging this out. Take your fucking towel off. It's okay. You don't have to sweat I know I'm making you nervous now. I'm cool as a cucumber my friend. Yeah, that's why I bet I see your hands are shaking You're right. Yeah, my perfectly still hands Well, my broken my brokenly still hands. Yeah, that was a little shaky. Uh, Madden you got me though. Oh, yeah For sure. I got everyone. I give you that anybody watching this. You think you're a good man I know you think like all in all this kid works. He does videos and shit. He's not good at men. He's he's very good But who has a solo win in fortnight?

Yeah, I don't have that. I do boom I got you there I'm a better player than you in fortnight. Yeah, but I outperformed you on one day. You did. Um, where can they find you? At daniela puri on twitter and instagram and apparently in some kind of tournament Oh Coming to a theater near you. That's a kathalon. That's a kathalon. We're gonna set up. We're gonna I'm gonna burn an iron man by the fourth event. You're gonna be talking to the exhaust. Yeah, everybody. Yeah, let's go

We're gonna go swim in the east river. Let's get it. It's gonna be like the end of billy madison That's what we're gonna do. Um, yeah, if you guys want to Support the show you can head over to patreon.com slash the baseman yard patreon.com slash the baseman yard Also the youtube channel youtube.com slash baseman yard You can watch all these episodes in full over there and that is all see you next time