The Basement Yard - #161 - Guess That Fetish

Episode Date: October 29, 2018

On this episode, Danny & I play a nice game of Guess That Fetish Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah Welcome back to the basement yard. It is cold as tits. It is cold as fuck. It's freezing And you want to know what's weird? It's gonna get way colder. Yeah, I know I'm not excited. I'm not it was 50 degrees today when I went on a run and I could not breathe. It hurt really bad. I Hate that. That's probably one of my work. Oh, I Haven't ran in a long time, but I actually did go for a run yesterday. I told you how far'd you run half a mile Hey, that's a start. It is a start. It's a start. It's a start Yeah, and I didn't feel like my heart was gonna explode out of my chest. Which is good

Which is good and you know gotta get that heart rate up a little bit gotta get it up a little bit. Yeah, so It was warmer when I went for I couldn't have ran this morning when I woke up this morning was 46 degrees Yeah, I was not excited. I got out there and I was just like what am I doing out here? No leggings. No got a rock leggings dog Yeah, I was good. I was looking for him, but I couldn't find him. So yeah, well toughed it out Yeah, I don't I don't look nearly as good as girls do in leggings Yeah, I you would think that someone who stays active and Works out and whatever would just kind of a little bit look kind of good in leggings And I don't are you cramming those cheeks in there? I'm cramming them in there

And I'm trying to get some like you know how girls with like their ass has like that It comes underneath and it just tucks the ass just nice. Yeah, it's a it's a cup sit Yeah, like it may it's like a little shelf. Yeah, it's like a little bubble. It's like ah, it's it. I don't have any of that You can get there. It's cuz I'm white. No, no, she's got step your squat game up I could squat I squat and I run and it's like damn it You know it could because you're right. I think so. Yeah I don't look good and also just looks like weird because I have leg hair So it kind of looks like a weird texture. Well, how long leggings are we talking about? We're talking like all the way down. Yeah

How's your junk looking them though? That's the real question Well, I'm wearing oh well, I mean, that's pretty nice. Yeah, you ever see those guys in the gym that go wearing just leggings Yeah, what are we doing? I don't yeah, this is the tour to France like dude. I could see the rim of your dick Yeah, what's that called the ring not the rim the brim the brim the brim of your of your helmet Yeah, I could see that shit like put it away. I don't want to see that your fucking Saturn's ring around that thing. God, you know what I mean? Probably gets like irritates We're just like we're open up again. Yeah, just like so much fucking dick Frick's

I Tell you so much fucking dick fresh. Have you ever had dick Frick's yo, I hate that It's the worst you ever like think that you're gonna get away with not wearing underwear today. Yes And you're like, I'm gonna go out. It'll be fine And then for some reason like the seam of your sweatpants or whatever Like they do it right in line with your pee hole just rubbing that thing rubbing that thing all day to the point Where when you get home, it's just it's It's raw. Yeah, you have an SDD. Yeah, basically. Yeah, it feels like it. Yeah, it's terrible

I've had that feels like a big paper cut on your C. I try to get away with wearing no underwear way more than you would think You ever wear no underwear here. Yeah Right now. No, I got cold. I got Calvin Klein's on you just had to say that didn't you I only wear Calvin Klein underwear Exclusively. Yeah, why cuz it's the best underwear Like it has like a ventilated cock You know like that like the underpouch Okay, you have Calvin Klein underwear, right? I have a I have yeah some pairs. Yeah, but I have ventilated stuff

They have like the ones that like that. Well, you gotta hook me up with some me undies. Yeah, I mean, yeah, but I don't have like You know under like I need I need a ventilated cock You definitely need a ventilator. I think everyone needs a ventilated cock because I have all my underwear has that now Well, it needs to be I'm not suffocating this thing. No, you get home at night You take your your underwear off and it's just wet and also You know that grundle smell it's so bad. It's so bad. You ever like these ones. Oh, man. Keep me Grundle smell free. I mean not free. Yeah, that's that's bad product placement Doing a lot of time. Yeah. Yeah, you're not sweating for as long as you would be throughout the day

Like if I throw some fruit of the looms on this monster Don't even that's gonna be like Shaquille O'Neal in the fourth quarter. Yeah, it's gonna be gross I used to hate that because I would wear like cheap underwear. Yeah, you know before you had your own money and your mom's like I'm just gonna buy this 30 pack for $4. Yeah, let's split it with your brother. Yeah, and then like You put those on and then you do what you do during the day and you come home And then like you ever like go to take a pee, you know, son. You're like, yo, is that me? Yeah, and you're fucking bald stank I'm like, is that the pee or is that my body? I've literally this is gross But like I've literally have had to wipe my grundle

Like in the bathroom like after paying being like my grundle stinks right now Yeah That's a I hate that it's such a potent smell like I'd be able to smell it anywhere Just like how jizz is a potent smell. Oh, man. You remember you know those trees that smell like jizz. Yes What are they called? I don't know, but they're like they're like that little berries Yeah, I don't know they are but I used to walk to school and we used to call them jizz trees They smell exactly like jizz. Yo, I hope people know what we're talking about. I know Just trees are real just trees are as real as fucking sliced bread

You're just walking down the street. No, son. You're like did someone just like Come on the floor. I don't know in abundance. Yeah, it's insane. It smells exactly like kump Yeah, it's disgusting and being a 15 year old walking the school and the first thing you smell is jizz starting a day off hot as The hot day super horny walking right in that bitch. Oh My god, no, but I know you never jerked off in school, right? Oh, I think I see that whoa Have you jerked off in school? No. Oh, I thought we were gonna have like a confession No, I've never jerked off in school. What am I a fucking psychopath? I've started the party

What does that mean? You start you start flicking it around give it a little Start start juggling slap it around but then somebody walks in and then every fucking somebody walks in where are you going to the stall and start slapping your digger Wait, did you start like Grasping and no like or did you start slapping? No cuz like in high school like you already have a ball You just walk you just walk around boned out you were boned out all four years of high school good amount Good 24-7 like chubbed up. I got a lot of boners. I don't doubt that. I've gotten a lot of boners Yeah, my life. Yeah, what if you had to put a number on it? How many boners you've had?

Well, I definitely got more boners than you just do to age age. Yeah, but um You're a sexual deviant. I am I am even at a Even at your age, I probably had way more boners. Yeah, yeah, probably. Yeah, I've had a good amount I think but yeah, hold on. I just want to back up. Mm-hmm You're hard all day No, there were times when I was 15 like I would be like get that morning boner Remember when you were like 15 that morning boner like that shit was like Thor's hammer Yeah, only you could lift it right Alexander the great

Yeah, only you could fucking deal with it. Yeah, so like I would walk to school hard sometimes How would you how would you I would tuck it up tuck it up? I would tuck it up but then like Everyone's probably like hey, maybe I should walk in the bathroom and get rid of this thing Yeah, but like someone would always come in there and you know in high schools the bathrooms aren't constructed very well So the spacing in between is like this Yeah, you can literally see the shit drop out of somebody's ass if you look through the stall So like I never was able to complete

But that's weird. So yeah, I mean you have yanked it in there Yeah, I've preemptively yanked. Yeah a preemptive yank. Yeah Not that's not good. Why I think that's not an appropriate place It's not an appropriate place, but is there ever really an appropriate place to masturbate my bedroom Or your couch people go there people sit on your couch. I would say jerking off jizzing into the cushion. Yeah, I start you know Whatever you'd be more careful when you're doing that in a cat

There's some common common area, you know anything yeah Like that you're jerking off in a school like there's there's teaching going on there's education being I mean to my defense I am 15 years old going through bodily changes bodily changes. Yeah. Yeah, you're becoming more of a horn dog Like you're really really looking at butts now. Yeah, really really look like a tits Really trying to suck those tits. I went to a Catholic high school. So there wasn't a whole lot of like boys No, it was it was a co-ed school, but I'm like the girls had to wear like dress pants. Oh

Garbage, yeah, but the girls get the skirts, but the girls who did have Like the song is yeah, well, I'm saying asses like big asses. You're like bond these are coming out of dress pants What are you hiding hams in there? Yeah, crazy if you got a bunda and dress pants. I'm with it. Oh, what a bunda What's that? It's like a big old butt like a abundance abundance of ass. There you go, bunda a bunda I'm learning so much today. I know you are you are. Yeah But just trees are real. Yeah, I don't know We got to bring that back to the cheese tree. Yeah, I know and this is actually just tree season Yeah, this is what all starts you start smelling the cheese because they start dropping on the those like berries or whatever

Start hitting the floor and people step on them and then the cheese smell gets You know thrown into the ozone layer or whatever. Did you ever eat a honeysuckle? Remember those? What's that? It's like a like a tree that like You could suck the bottom of the flower. I thought a honeysuckle was like an apple or something. No That's a granny Smith granny Smith. I mean, there's a bunch of apples. Isn't that weird. There's a bunch of different apples Yeah, they're all the same. They're all the same I went to an apple orchard one time and like there's just rose and they have different names like oh This is a honey golden. Yeah, and I'm like dude. This tastes like this like they're all the same. This is an apple

Yeah, it's an apple dude green apples and red apples tastes different. Oh, yeah, but it's like, you know It's still the same right stuff. You know, it says the same Don't show me a yellow apple and then another yellow apple be like these are different like no. Yeah, these are the same Don't bullshit me yellow apple Yeah, I've never seen a yellow apple Yeah, you have no I have not you never seen I'd like a yellow apple seen a yellow pepper I've never seen a yellow apple. You've seen one. They're not like bright yellow like a lemon, but they're like yellow-ish And there's green and there's red. I don't know

Make me googs. You're gonna make me googs. Goog it up. Hold on. Get your Guggenheim out. Take over the show real quick I gotta Google this Yellow apple What would be the name of this yellow apple dude? I don't know the names of any apples. They're just apples Macintosh apples No, you've never seen these apples. I've never seen a yellow apple in my life. That looks green to me, honestly It's a little more. That's what I'm saying. It's not like yellow right, but it's like no that's a yellow apple You can see that's clearly different than the green. What's it called? What kind of apple is it? It's a gala apple a gala apple

Boogey-ass apple. No, this is a dope apple But they're expensive. I want it. Yeah, I know you would you slap a fucking Chanel design on it Um, but yeah, yellow apples actually exclusively. I don't think I've had I've had way more yellow and green than I've had red Yeah in my life, I Don't know what that says about me. No, I still can't believe you never even thought about jerking it in school I'm sure the thought has crossed my mind, but then you know, there's that other part of my mind that goes

Hey, man, you're in school. Yeah, and I go, right. I'll wait this out your filter like fired off first My mind would let me let me go a little farther. All right But you had a longer leash than me. I had longer leash. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I also cut will probably weigh more class than you So I had to fill time Yeah, I didn't really cut class well because I couldn't I cut a lot of class in like middle school Well, I'll school cutting that's pretty badass. I was like a piece of shit in middle school Like I was like not a person that I am now. Yeah, they couldn't wait to get you out of there Yeah, I was supposed to get kicked out of middle school

it's actually a funny story because I was supposed to get kicked out of the middle school that I went to and then sent to my zone school and You're poor mother. My dad came to meet the principal and He couldn't find parking so he double parked and when he got into the school He's like, yeah, I'm here to see miss David and she was and there the secretary or whatever was like Yeah, it's just gonna be like 15 minutes and he just got in his car and left and never had the meeting So then you just went to school. Yeah, and then I just stayed in the school So that's how it happened. It was so funny. They were gonna expel me too. They really listen like I was crying I was so so sad. I love that school nothing

You think you got it all figured out until they're like, hey, we might kick you out of here. Yeah, and then I'm like, no Yeah, like all my friends. What am I gonna do? Yeah, I was so sad. I was crying Do you ever have dreams that you're still in high school? No, I have dreams that like I'm About to play football again Like helmet on in the locker room Like I'm assuming you're hard cuz you just told me off four years. You were just boned up. Yeah, I was hard Are you hard during football games? I've never had a wet dream either. I don't think I have either I'm you know, sir. I when people talk about that. I'm like, you know, I don't think I've ever experienced like a wet dream

I woke up and like what is it? What is it? Like jizz? Yeah, it's just jizz your pants. It's just like random admission I've never had a wet dream in my life I don't think I've ever known somebody that's had a wet dream. I don't really have sex dreams either Like I've maybe had like two my entire life Oh, I have those I don't yeah, or like it's not like actual like I'll have a sex sex dream quote-unquote where it's like You know you it's like the four play part nothing like no kissing no sucking no fingering I've never came in a dream. I don't think I don't think you can I've never like, you know, you can't throw punches I don't think you can just fucking throwing jelly fucking hands

You try to punch you try to beat the shit out of somebody so they're trying to run away from like a dog in a dream Yeah, good luck. Good luck. I can't get over every stair not even I can't even move. You're trying to move I can't but um, no, it's weird cuz like you'll have sex dreams Like I had a sex dream once where my penis just turned into like like a remote control Like a TV. Yeah Did you turn the TV? Yeah, and then it turned into me like watching TV like my penis Was being pleasured and then it just turned into a remote control and then it was me watching TV Was the girl still there? No, she disappeared. Yes, your dick is a remote. Yes. Was it still a remote?

Like you had no dick. I had no dick. I was just using a remote sitting on a couch. Where were you watching? I? Don't know. I just remember that they I just remember that were you in like a living room. Yeah, how much do you love TV? I don't know It was and that was when I got rid of my TV right after that. I Would probably do the same. Yeah, no That's an indicator of something that's an indicator of something weird. Yeah. Yeah, but dream Okay, here's the thing about the one class that I did take in college With psychology and

Dreams don't mean shit man. Is that what they say? Yeah, I'm not really a fan of people being like oh my teeth fell out I'm gonna die or like you're losing power. I'm like, well, I don't even know what that means now It just doesn't mean anything. They don't mean anything. They could be triggered by like You can watch a handmaid's tale episode. Yeah, and have like a rape dream. Yeah, doesn't mean you're gonna rape somebody I had a dream once because I forgot I shouldn't have started that sense because I really have nothing to say right now I had a dream dream after watching some I forgot what movie it was But it was something we're like gun. Oh, it's ready player one and I had a dream exactly like I never saw it movie I heard it was good. It was good. I gotta check that out. Yeah, it was cool

Sorry, I don't know what I was saying Ready player one dream, but it's like that's what I agree to like if there's something weighing on your mind Or if it's something you just saw so it's fresh and like you have dreams that are kind of like that Yeah, I really have dreams that I remembered to yeah I have one insanely vivid dream and it's mad weird Super are we going there? Yeah, was it weirder than your dick turn into remote remote because that's kind of no It was like more like like a short French film It was like very dramatic

So in the building that like my family grew up in So I walk in and there's different units in the building obviously was an apartment building So I'm opening every door and like a different member of my family is in there crying So like I open a door and like my mom's crying then I close it I open another one my sister's crying close it open another one my my brother is crying All the way till I get upstairs home to our main apartment And I open it and my dad's standing on a milk crate in a tuxedo playing a saxophone No trumpet a trumpet

This would have been way better if it was a sax, but is that the whole dream that was the whole dream And like I kept asking everyone while they were crying my dad was just playing a trumpet standing on a milk carton in an empty room in a tuxedo I was like what kind of fucking indie short Sundance film dream is this yeah, that's very fucking weird Yeah, very weird and very very vivid very vivid That's something you see I like hands and then all the white people are like What the fuck was that What was that if that was a movie that would win an award probably yeah some it's abstract It's like no, it's sucked. Isn't that weird like the concept of art

Like I don't get art. I really don't like I try to get I really do like I've gone to a bunch of museums I just can't get it I Don't either because you go to a museum and you see like this painting and it's like I Could do that. Yeah, and maybe you can't and maybe we just don't get it which I'm assuming that has to be true, but it's like This just looks like you have fucking messed around and now it's up there for 50 grand for what I just 50 grand The next bet it would be 50 grand. Yeah, sir. There's like millions of dollars and stuff You see what Banksy did that was the coolest thing I've ever saw awesome I love it. So people for people who don't know Banksy is like this famous artist

I mean you probably know who he is he does like these street things like nobody knows who he is Yeah, no one knows anything and but one of his paintings was framed and they were selling it and someone had bought it at an auction for $1.2 million dollars as soon as they hit the gavel and said like, you know, it's yours or whatever Immediately the painting got sent through a shredder that was inside the frame Destroyed the painting. That's genius shit. That is incredible. Yeah, that is art. That's art Okay, that makes me feel a certain way because that that I think that ties into us being like What piece of art is worth 1.2 million I nothing like when I was in Italy like I saw like Pablo Picasso's fucking paintings up front like Da Vinci like all that shit. Yeah statue of David. It's beautiful shit. Don't get me wrong, but it's like

Why would this be worth five million dollars? Not only that I get through like through time and things are like this is in a relic Yeah, and it's like, you know, whatever the history bubble blah and also it looks Amazing like the fact that someone can do this is incredible. Yeah, but like abstract art Where it's like this doesn't even look like You know I'm saying like there's a clear obviously there's a different genres of art But I'm talking from someone's point of view who like yeah, it's not involved in it whatsoever, but like a piece of abstract art and then a piece of art that say like

You know, it's like clear like someone does what a pencil and it looks exactly like a person and it's 3d It's like it's incredible So like those two things and I look at abstract and I'm like why is this worth so much money? Yeah, like what like what fourth grade or drew this? Yeah, you know like when I was looking at the finger painted this like when I was looking at the Picasso's I've always liked Pablo Picasso but When I was really looking at him, I had that moment of like these are just triangles

Yeah, and then it may be word Cuz he made me we're dumb, but it's just a bunch of triangles It's it's hard. I really see somebody stand there and be like well It shows like the trials and tribulations of like what was going on is like how the fuck do you know? Yeah, you know yeah cynical. I like mosaic makes my penis tingle. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know I would never front to go around and look at art and be like I know about art Yeah, or like you go to like an exhibit and it's just like a Pole that has like a hook on it and there's like a piece of ham at the end of the hook and yeah

Whoa, this is just I'm like what is I don't like I took my girl like the Momo once and like we went to go see the Tim Burton exhibit I was like this is art because it's like there was like paintings of like the Joker and like the Batmobile was there Yeah, I was like this is like Creation like shit I could see yeah Like you know and it was had like the original Batman suit that like Michael Keaton war is like this is fucking cool But abstract art it's like you can't convince me like that I can't draw that here's the thing I'm I I feel like I can be convinced because I just need to like be educated on it and I don't want to say it's dumb It's not dumb. I think we're dumb

Because I just don't know like I would love for an artist to draw something and like to the naked eye You're like what the fuck is that but then I would love for you to explain it to me Yeah, like explain the colors explain the patterns explain the texture like I want to know because like just looking at this thing It looks like you just fucked around and tricked us all and also I feel like yeah, yes, and also I feel like Like the word art gets thrown around very loosely Yeah, you know what I mean like for someone like me. I think sneakers are art. I do okay, like designs of sneakers or art and And

It all they all come from sketches They all come from an art background But like some people will look at sneakers and not and just be like that sneakers sneakers. I guess it's like your your Point of view. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's it. I think art is subjective now It just gets to the point when it's cost fucking three million dollars to have this in your house Get a little crazy. Yeah, I just feel like Also, you know, you know, there's also a painter who paints with his Fucking dick. What? Yeah, he dips his dick and paint and he starts paying with his dick

I did like a video one time and he was in there And he would just he would paint with his dick and then sell those paintings for like all his money That's awesome. Yeah, and there was another guy who would throw up onto canvases and then like Like drink paint Like put paint into like water. I mean, I don't know if it's like actual paint But like whatever to change the color and then throw up

Onto this thing. That's why people should that is very white. Yeah All right, I'm gonna throw up this paint and paint with it. I am my body is the art. Yeah Like that your body is the rush. You're not gonna convince me that's art. That's just stupid You threw up on it. Yeah, that's pure can get it away from me. Yeah, I'm not gonna pay to see it I'm not gonna pay to keep it either. How do you make that not stinky? I know Throw up is so stinky Isn't that the worst you hear that I hate throwing up dude. It's the worst. What's your throw up face? Oh, I didn't want it. It's bad. My chin goes into my neck my this vein in my forehead becomes

5d That's how hard it is. Yeah, and then you're just in there Yeah Always spitting you ever do that thing where you just start like looking up to the sky and be like, oh, why me man? Yeah, man When you start throwing up you start asking like, yo, why like why what did I do? I love that your body gives you that like We're doing this. Yeah Yeah, I love that. I just had food poisoning not too long ago and I had that same exact feeling where I felt like I had a two Yeah, you had it shortly after me. That was weird, but um, but

Yeah, I'm just like sitting there and I'm like, yo, I just feel mad full You know and I've never pulled the trigger because I'm a bitch. I won't I used to do that like crazy I wish but like I'm too afraid like if I can ride this out and not throw up I will I can only do that when I'm drunk and sick and I know that this will help make me feel better All right, like I'll pound a bunch of gatorade if I have like the flu Just so I have fluids in me and I'll fucking pull that shit And like in high school When I knew I was getting too wasted I would pull it

Damn, yeah gross. I mean, it's fucking disgusting I'm just I'm too bitch made for that to be honest with you because I wanted like I would love to because sometimes you get really drunk and you're spinning and shit You're like, yeah, if I just throw up, I'd be I feel totally fine right now Dude, you're you're a new man That was what happens to me when I when I had food poisoning and I just felt so full and it was all through the night I slept maybe 30 minutes the entire night. It was really bad. And then in the morning my body was like, dude Your something's about to happen

And I thought I had to go take another dump and I walked in there And then I sat down and then I was like, no, we're gonna dump out of my mouth And I just turned around and I just let it go and then I felt amazing you ever noticed though like When you're when you're sick You could still have sex like your body forgets about being sick We are different people Really? Never

I could always have sex when I'm sick No But then right after I go right back to being sick No, I can't I can't do anything Like I've had a cold for like five days now And uh, thank god for mucinex. Let me tell you that because I've been waking up every morning just constantly coughing bad Yeah

Yeah, it's been awful What happened Nothing, you're good. You're good. No, that's cool. I'm gonna go get checked later I just make sure I don't have like bronchitis or something. Oh my god What you're one of those people? Yeah five days Dude five days for coughs a long time with flamin shit change of the weather could be could grow up could be No, but like I could have sex while sick like if my my temperature is like 108

What kind of sex though is it like, you know, just it's missionary. I'm gonna just bust a nut Oh, I would just I would just like lay down with like my arms crossed like please I'll take a sick hand job any day of the week. I've never gotten a hand job You always say that and that's that can't be true. I'm promise. It's true Would you just graduate to fucking just straight veg? or just When I say that did you work your way up the sex totem pole? Like we're talking kissing

touching tit Fingering clit Whoa You don't finger that no you rub it then you slide it. Okay. Jesus. I'm just my mom's gonna watch this. Sorry miss this um All this shit that we talked about earlier. Yeah, sorry about all of that. Yeah This is specifically for your mom here Your son talks about all this stuff

You might have to do it here who he does I had the right you out real quick. That's fine. That's fine. She knows she knows All right before we move on let's get to this sponsor for today. We have stitch fix Okay, they have reimagined the way we find and buy clothes, okay style Some of us have us some of us don't I don't okay. Danny has it. He spends a lot of money to be stylish I don't know. I can't do it. I'm sorry. This guy's got a lot of Louis stuff. Anyway, uh If you're like me

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Slash basement stitchfix spelled s t i t c h f i x dot com Slash basement. All right 25 off your entire purchase if you keep the five items in your box All right There you go. Now you're all stylish. All right. Anyway, but um So like did you work your way up the sex tonal pole? Yeah Yeah Yeah, definitely. I mean, I wasn't just skipping steps here. You know, I mean, I wasn't you know

I'm not one of those kids that graduate from college when he's 12. Like that's not like that Right, like I you know, I I put the time in I worked my way up Remember how big of a deal touching a tit was dude. It still is a big deal. I also just think like Like luci k has his bit. Whoop luci k has his bit where now he's back now. So yeah, but you know, whatever Do you think that he should be back just quick sidebar? You think he should be allowed back Be allowed back like to like perform again I mean, what are you gonna do? We he's you know, he's a comedian. Right. What should he do? I know I think that you know, I think he should be able to do whatever the hell he wants

But if you want to go see him or not, that's up to you, but it's like You know, well, I have to live. He has children like he has to make some money somehow, you know So also like another thing too that it's off topic too. It's like, um Like if people go see him Does that make them bad people? I don't think so Um, does it make them ignorant people? I I personally don't feel that way Because I'm able like I want to separate the two like I am not going to christmas dinner and letting him babysit my kids

Right. I'm just or be alone with like no matter what your wife and like a in like a great room Right. No matter what he did That doesn't change the fact that he's funny. Right like you can be funny and be like You do this terrible thing or like be a weirdo or whatever because what he did was fucking weird, so Yeah, but most people are I feel like most successful people are weird. They got some weird stuff going on Uh, but I'm I'm able to separate the two so I'm not like, you know Yeah, it's like Like I still think he's funny like I'll still watch if he puts out a special you're watching that 100%

And it has nothing to do with the like I support Sexually assaulting women or whatever it has nothing to do with that. I think he's a funny guy I'm not gonna fucking call him up and be like, yo, let's go grab some drinks and fucking You know, I mean you're one of the best I'm gonna be like buying his merch and I'm also not gonna be defending his Honor or anything. I just think he's a funny guy. Yeah, that's it Like I feel like that's like obviously, you know, I have a lot of shoes. Yeah, a lot of them are Kanye shoes, right? um Should I feel bad about wearing his shoes? No

First of all, he's not saying anything. That's insane. What he's doing is supporting a dude who says a lot of crazy shit What is he saying though? Like I feel like he'll say like Two very smart things and then like the next thing he'll say is like dumb dumb I think he just comes off He doesn't know how to talk right to people. He doesn't say the right things. Yes, because he's talking from emotion Yeah, and and not me myself. I would be a hypocrite to say that I haven't been guilty of that Right. I just you know, I've never done it on that that fucking national scale But it's like another thing too. It's like why are there 40 cameras in there?

What do you mean? Because it's a yeah, but donald trump the whole time. She's like, isn't he great? Isn't he amazing? Isn't he just wonderful? One of my favorite donald trump. Isn't he just so great one of my favorite donald trump quotes ever Is that video of him going look at my african-american over here? Like yo, why would you say that to think of it to think that and process that and have come out of your mouth I'm gonna say this in front of a rally of people. Look at my african-american over there. Isn't he great? Isn't he great? Isn't he the best? Isn't he the best my african-american? Yeah Because like does does kanya saying

I love this guy. Let me give him a hug Should I feel bad about wearing his sneaker because I don't think so. I like I love his sneakers. Yeah, they're great That's what I'm saying. You could separate them. It's like yo kanya's political views You know and and what I was saying before he's not saying anything bad is like Saying that he likes donald trump and he has said in interviews. It's not like because of his policies or like he doesn't defend like The racist remarks and like weird things. He said he likes him his some of his characteristics Like he and he also you know, I mean hold on and then and then

Like but kanya's not the one saying Racist shit or saying like yo fuck everyone at the border. You know what I'm saying like he's not saying that So that's why also it's easier, but regardless. I think it's you can disconnect the two things I think you should be and I don't think people should be judged for that. It's like Let me get the music and let me get the kids and then yeah Yo kanya west is one of my favorite artists of all time like I'm still gonna listen to his albums Like I'm still gonna even though I don't necessarily agree with all of his political views and like all these things that he's saying or you know, whatever but

I still like his music and I still like his sneakers like I look at it like this like Like john lennon right john lennon is like a god a god. Yeah Also used to like beat up his first wife So made imagine though made imagine though You know what I'm saying. Yeah, it's like yeah, I mean dude. This is I think you know, it's it's it's like you can't It's almost like you never want to meet your heroes, but it's like you also have to understand like Just like what they produce You don't have to like everything they do. I don't know this person. I don't know them at all

I know the service that they give me like dude you eat like All types of like chain restaurant foods like you don't know what the ceo is doing No, you know, he could be a terrible person, but you wouldn't even know I don't know the ceo mcdonald's is like, yeah, but the steak is good Like, yeah, we're murdering chickens by the thousands. It's like, yeah, but I love chicken nuggets Right, it's like, you know what I mean, but like I like I don't agree, but I like I you know I like this thing the thing though because it's it's become like With the nike with the nike thing that we talked about it's become like like it's like

should sneakers And fashion have political stances I don't think so I can understand but here's the thing too. I understand why people would be like i'm boycotting that. Yeah um, well But normally first of all normally no no no what i'm saying is people who are like i'm never buying nike again I don't understand that I don't agree with a boycotting whatever I I can understand how someone would be like I don't want to put money in the ceo's pocket

So i'm not gonna buy it. I think that's dumb But I can see how people are like I just don't want to support this guy like whatever right, you know what I mean, but as far as That's just kind of contradicting what I said. No, it's all right. No, but I I hear I hear what you're saying It's it's a hard thing to have a real like like I shouldn't have to buy like nikes because it's like Yeah, but is it just nike like I just want to go for a run. Yeah, I just want to I'm buying a pair of sneakers Yeah, I'm not fucking like saying like here's what I'm doing

I'm buying this nike shirt because I want to prove to everyone that I stand with Colin Kaepernick It's like I just I just want to get a nike shirt. Yeah, like I'm wearing nikes You want to know why I'm wearing them look at that flexibility. Yeah, I know I'm working on it. They're comfortable And I'd like them. Yeah, okay I'm nothing I this is a Kendrick Lamar sneaker by the way nothing i'm doing is like politically motivated at all That's why I feel like What politics ruin everything It's just kind of here's one thing I'll say and I just want to be great. Isn't he great

Look at my african-american over there. Isn't he great? Isn't he fantastic? I mean I could talk to him for hours We're gonna get some lunch kind anyone get some lunch jim brown lunch jim brown. Well, I like how jim brown was just kind of like i'm just chilling Yeah Um, isn't he great isn't he great one thing I will say about politics like one of the last things like and then I Yeah, then we'll go back to like shitting in titties. Um I find it to be just like really immature that like you remember how I said on a past episode I hate when people like believe in shit

But like radically believe in everything to me. It's just like they're ganks like yo, yeah Because something is bullies because something is blue It doesn't matter what it is like. I'm not doing that because I'm a republican Yeah, or if I'm a democrat It's like because or some democrats are like because that is red And it's republican like I don't agree with at all me. I'm looking at it as like I can see Certain things on each side where I'm like I kind of Understand that right kind of agree with that

But I don't I'm not like you know So firm on this thing because it's a team and we have to get our guy in it's like It just makes it that in itself is a divided sort of system Like I don't like it's like state like what my political views are but I am I'm an independent Like, you know, like I don't even know what that means. I vote independent. Okay um, but like The thing is is uh, I mean we can get into the whole thing, but it's gonna be too long, but uh

I just look at it like this. It's like if I like a shoe or I like music or I like somebody's art Can I just like that? Yeah Can I just like it? Yeah Like, you know, like I don't want to worry if people are like looking at my shoes and being like, yo, why you wearing his shoes? Yeah, it's like because they're dope and I like them their shoes their shoes that I like and he didn't even make these I know he didn't design them. No Oh, wait, and we're talking about Kanye, but I'm talking about like if you're talking about nike It's like, I don't want to put money in his pockets. Like first of all, god doesn't need your money

No, second of all full night is fine. Yeah, and then second of all like, what do you think he designed this? He's got people who design them. He's got people who sell them people who manufacture them and ship them out Like he has nothing to do with the shoe. Just put a name on it. Yeah the thing is too like All of this comes back to making money anyway and but the thing that you were saying about gangs It's like our parents grow up and tell us like, you know, like don't act like a child Like don't be childish. I feel like there's nothing more childish than politics Sometimes. Yeah, I look at it. They just scream and make fun of each other and talk over each other

Yeah, and like one side stands ups and claps and the other doesn't I'm like, we still doing this. Yeah, I know What are you doing here? I know it's just like people get pushed to like these radical extreme Like that video that's going around. Sorry, burp, but that video that's going around of like that abortion kid Well, it's like it's like it's like the he's at he's at an abortion kid he's at the abortion rally and like a girl's filming him And uh, he's like, oh if someone gets raped by somebody should they have the baby should they keep it

and the girl's like talking and he like And fucking kicks the phone out of her hand That shit is so funny, but that's your perfect side of Yeah way too extreme. Why are you so angry? Why are you kicking this girl's phone out of her hand? Take it easy You know, I meant to kick your phone. You should have been kicking anything of mine Why are you kicking me? Don't kick me. You're throwing kicks. Don't kicks Jackie Chan. Great kick. It was a good kick But come on

That's hilarious that video the first time I saw it. I'm like people are nuts people are nuts. Yeah, like as much as we think we're nuts Not that nuts. We're two probably of the most normal people on earth Yo, and sometimes like I'll get so scared because I'll be out in public and all of a sudden like You ever be around some white people and they think that like you're on their team sort of yeah, and they'll say some like semi racist things loaded statement and you're like But they feel you out. Yes, you know what I mean? It's like yeah, and I'm like I have no fucking idea what you mean It's you know, they're coming around. You know, they're taking our jobs. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I'm just like Um, I'm self-employed sir. I'm gonna go over here like

I've left bars because of that. Yeah I've left conversations because of that. Yeah, like yo one time I went to a company. I got I got friends that that voted for trump It's like it's it's almost like that like I'm sure you have friends that vote for trump. Yeah, are you gonna de-friend them? No It's just you got you got different you got different views I'm also about like intent like, uh, you know, I I don't consider. Yeah I don't consider everyone who voted for trump like a racist. No like at all like I don't you know But I do think there are definitely people who are voted from strictly because Oh, they're close. Yeah

And they're like, oh fuck it. Yeah, like this is our guy. We're gonna make those mexicans pay everyone was like, yeah But I I don't I don't I'm not like gonna call everyone who voted for trump like a racist or like everything is like You know racially motivated like I do think there are people who are like agreed with some policies that had and felt like it benefited them more than you know Anything else like I think you know, whatever but uh, it's just wild Especially like rich people like they pay way less taxes now because of trump. Yeah, you know, I just think like I'm not I'm not gonna call everyone who voted for trump a racist right That's what I'm gonna say. Yeah, but you should but like

Make a long story short. We don't know anything about art. Yeah How did we get here? I don't know. We were talking about art and shit Kanye meeting Trump I said Louis CK and why did I say that? Oh because you were talking about um, he had a bit Oh because you were talking about touching tits Yeah, and he had a bit about like when your elbow hits a tit and it's like, you know, that's a tit Yes, he's like and I could feel it through my sweater and jacket and her jacket sweater shirt bra Yeah, and I could feel like yo, that was a tit. Yes, like, you know what I mean? Like you just know

We brought it right back. No, yeah full circle full circle. That's one of the very Only times we've probably been able to pull a full circle By the way, I wanted to do this this test for you because I found this thing that and I lost at bedtime I found this thing Uh that are fetishes and I just kind of want you to guess what they are I'm going to pronounce them all wrong But I want you to guess what they are because sometimes it's like it's really hard to To guess. All right. So the first one here. By the way, these are the 15

Uh 15 sexual fantasies that are way more common than you'd imagine Okay, okay the first one Cato patronophilia You fuck cats If I didn't know I'd be like yo this guy fucks cats like Is it what is it more common to fuck cats? No, it's having sex in front of our mirrors. What really turns you on I could see that I've fucked in front of mirrors. Yeah

That's kind of narcissistic. Well, like it's like that's like that's seen from like american. It's fucking flexing. Yeah I've done it. Yeah, it's kind of cool. Uh this one Yeah, it's kind of cool and a leg. Okay, and a little get And a leg Agnia And a leg Agnia and no little Agnia There's anal in there There's gagging in there Um

You only lick asshole No, this one is uh, this one is super super common That they said, all right. Wait, wait, let me guess one more time then. Okay super super common You only do doggy style sex. No, fuck has nothing to do with asses Uh, this one is super super common in this case a man is only attracted to older women and never to someone his own age They're their own age But how old are we talking here? We talking like I think we're talking these 60s and you're 25 We're talking you gotta dye your hair because it's getting white

You know what I mean? You got some varicose veins. That's hot. Your chest starts to look like salami that old You know what I mean? That's disgusting. Yeah, who you texting? No, no, no, no. I'm texting my mom Who you texting? No, no, no texting my mom. Here we go next one Uh Tractophilia I was trying to cheat actually Tractophilia tractophilia tractophilia tractophilia. Yeah, um, you're never gonna get any of these by the way Maybe

tractophilia Um, you can only have sex with the lights off What why would you think that I don't know? Where did you get like just a guess I'm just I'm going off the path now of doing stuff that it sounds like. All right. So what did you think it was? Like yeah, I only have sex on a tricycle Oh This one uh playing with hair smelling hair or simply staring at someone's hair. All right. Wait, you could just stare at someone's hair and get hard

I've never seen someone's hair and I was like y'all Something's saying um, all right This one that's fucking perverted by the way. Yeah, it's kind of weird. That's not normal um Nissa malogna Alyssa Milano You only have sex with witches

What's the hate again? Uh this Nissa malogna nissa malogna. I'm not getting any of these You're only attracted to people of a different race No, it's sexual arousal by being tickled Yeah, who likes getting tickled. I hate it I know like the feather thing and sex is like one of those like cliche like things, but like I I'm not ticklish I'm very ticklish like on my feet

I'm done. Don't tickle my feet, please. Yeah, I knew this girl once that if you touched her neck She would flip like she'd like she'd have to see like that's that's not real No, it is. No, that's just like I'm ticklish Like if you we're gonna have to we're gonna have to find that out then How'd you spell that one? uh k n

i s m o m o l a g n i a Why? So I wanted to see how it's spelled All these are like impossible spell. Take your line at me and you're seeing text messages over there I'm being serious. I don't like I don't like you call me a liar. I'm joking. I'm trying to look I was trying to spell it voyeurism

That's when you watch two other people have sex. Yes from from looking at other people having sex in real life. Yes Yeah, but is that secretly or just like no, no, no, no, no, no, um, you're posted up All right, would you be into that watching people fuck? Yeah, like someone fuck my wife No, or just watch people watch people fuck. I mean we watch porn. That's people fucking. Yeah, no, but like live action I Get that more than being tickled and like like could you watch your friend fuck? I don't want to watch my friend fuck But could you I would do it for the jokes like say you're like coming back from a party, right?

Yeah, and one of your friends just thrashing somebody. I'm not gonna sit there and watch That's that's that's uh, no nope. I think there's a time limit like five seconds. You could be like, oh Yeah, yeah, but then after all like after a while you're either joining in or you're creeping I think the limit is I'll say 15 seconds because that's an instagram story, right anything past that's like that's laughable. Now you're studying Yeah, okay, either get come to class or get to lunch I have to turn my phone over because my I can't think of my mom while I'm trying to guess this. This is weird Pictophilia

Pictophilia, yeah, you only take pictures during sex. No, but fuck Only take pictures during sex like you take pictures like while having sex. Oh, have you done that? No, I have you have like a polaroid You taking a polaroid of like your penis and something. Yeah Damn dude, that's fire Yeah, that's cool. Uh, basically, uh, if you're mode of sexual you still have the picture Because you're moving yeah, I know I'm gonna It might pop up one of the movers. We'll see it. Oh, that's my dick

And it just goes in the miscellaneous box. Uh, just grab the the mini fridge that desk That's my dick. You can just put that in your desk Um, oh that picture on the floor of me having sex. Uh, how'd that get there? Yeah, if your mode of sexual arousal is watching porn or looking at pornographic images Then this is the name of your fetish. So like you need porn the fuck. I guess, okay That's weird. Um stigma Stigmatophobia

um Have a phobia of stigmas It's sexually aroused by looking at someone's piercings or tattoos That one's stupid like sexually aroused like look at that. I guess that's why people like That are super tatted up only fuck super tatted up people Yeah, I guess so right like if you see like a guy that's super tatted up odds are his girl is super tatted If the dude has a hand tattoo his girl's got tattoos. Yes Yeah, because like, you know, he's got a whole sleeve that comes down to his hand

It's like burning like skull on this fucking wrist. Exactly or they have like the knuckle words Let's say like I think those are so corny like revenge. I think those are so corny. Yeah, I love hate Yeah Um Nasa lingus Uh, you only lick somebody's nose Kind of for those with this fetish increased sexual arousal and pleasure comes out of sucking someone's nose. Yes Sucking a nose

Oh, i'm not sucking a nose uh boogers Also, let me suck your nose. Can I can I even breathe if you suck my nose? Yeah through your mouth dog Yeah, I guess so, but that would be confusing any that's one of the weirdest fetishes. I've ever heard of sucking on someone's nose nasal Angus, I didn't even know that was real. It's weird Yeah, look at this picture too. This is a weird picture. Ew. Whoa. That looks like impi That looks just like impi. You want to know who would be in the nasal angus impi impi. I don't know Sucking noses uh necrophilia having sex with dead bodies That is out of control. I know why and it's really weird that you say that because I just watched the documentary on um

Necrophilia. No, no, no on Ted Bundy. Yeah, that guy Is he dead? Yeah, he got killed in jail. Let me talk about it. Yeah, he got killed in jail. Did he? Yeah An inmate beat him to death with a with a pipe Cause he was a fucking creep. Yeah, he's that guy's nuts, man. Yeah That's one of the ones where you're like Let's let this guy out early Just like we're gonna punish you. Yeah

Um potophilia You can only have sex while high Pod oh You have to have sex in a pod I don't know why just consider it a pot Like a spaceship like a small area that you sit in. I don't know this one is a foot fetish though Oh like pod pod your Go ahead podiatry. What the fuck? What's podiatry? I don't know

Podiatry. Yeah, podiatry. What's a podiatrist? Is that like a doctor? Yeah, but isn't that a isn't that a foot doctor? I don't even know how to spell that Why am I typing this way? If you just if you yeah, it's a foot doctor. Yeah, see I was right. Yeah, I'm fucking smart dog. Yeah, good shit, bro Good shit. Good stuff Um, I got way too high for that psychrophilia. Um, you can only have sex with psychos Quite common during winters, this is a sexual arousal to feeling cold or sometimes or sometimes looking at other people who are feeling cold You just at your window

You're just at your window and it's like a snow snow. I'm like, yeah. Yeah, you forgot to shovel that car out. You forgot that card again, didn't you? Shoulda wore a hat shoulda wore your moffs. Yeah, sure That's a fleece that'll never hold up in this weather. Somebody forgot their pedicom. Yeah Um, urophilia You only have sex with your opinions. I love how it's like urophilia. Yeah. Hey I'm not ophilia. You feel it. You only have sex with yourself. No, it's sexual arousal to urine Oh, like euro urine I feel like europeans are in that shit into peeing. Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. I feel europeans love piss

I feel like they pay money and someone comes up. What was that movie they paid money where it's like they Someone comes down and they lay down on a tarp and then they piss on you I don't know. That sounds like a porn dude. Yeah, I don't know. It's weird. So um No, it's weird. It's like those. I don't want to get pissed on. No No To clean up. Has Asa ever peed on someone? Did she tell us that she did? I don't know. I would assume so Text her. I mean, you know, you got a career like that. I'm sure I won't you know some p slipped out once

I I go mother fuck I'm the mother fucker Would you put your phone down for god's sake? I was texting in our group chat to see if she's ever got peed on who cares I I kind of care too, but like not now. Um I'm a gal my default filia. I got a A gal mother filia. I got a gal mother filia. Yeah um

This is weird, dude You only have sexual feet. No, this is I thought you were trying to give me a tip my touch of your arm Bagpipe No, it's mannequins Ew fucking man like not fucking mannequins, but you get a rouse from mannequins Think about how sick you have to be that was the last one. What the fuck mannequins? Yeah Yo, honestly, I'm not fucking a mannequin. None of that was normal shit except for like voyeurism is normal Why because like people like to watch other people fuck I like I could get that one right just because but you

Fucking a dead body is not right. I'm not texting. I'm pulling something up. You don't get like feet Featured I get anything on a human body. That's alive. I get That's alive. Yeah, all right What's the one that fucks trees? I don't know The Like tree huggers. No People who fuck trees. How could you fuck a tree when vaginas are so much better than trees like a hole in a tree?

Or do they just rub their dick against the bark eco-sexuals nice have sex with trees That means that sounds like they have sex with the environment. So they're probably like doing bushes and dentrophiliacs The ones that they fuck teeth. They fuck trees. Oh, I heard dent. I thought of teeth I don't know eco-sexuals. They have they tend to have sex with mother nature Yeah, that's dope It's really not anything's not if I walked if we walked to the dog park and I was just fucking the ground Part of me is going to be like, hey, get your dick out of there How do you get his dick in the ground and dug a hole? Yeah, dug a hole lubed it up and fucked it

Lubed up the hole. Yeah That's a lot of kyj you got to invest in it's also disgusting. Yeah, that's a little too much for me All right, I pulled up something else then along the lines of sex. You ready? Wait, what I pulled up the 12 best sex positions of 2018 Of 2018, how did how did they even figure this out? That's the other thing is like how create how We're taking these surveys. I know and how creative are we getting here? Yeah, I don't know I feel like I only know of like four positions like by name Like because really I think you get in there when you're having sex you kind of just guess you start putting

Yeah, like a foot over here and you're like, maybe this is this is a little different than what we were doing But I feel like I only know Yeah, that doesn't happen, but whatever All right, what's the top one the top I don't think these are in particular order, but spooning sex So laying on your side Oh, yeah, like yeah, do you lift the leg and spooning? Yeah No, that's like porn style Yeah, but that's because you need to see what's going on. That's for the camera. I do that for some time

All right, missionary with a pillow Where's the pillow underneath her butt? Why because it gives you like more access to her g-spot That's interesting. Yeah, so like instead of like you go like a temper, Peter you going down. It's like you're kind of going in and up Like you're thrusting down into her passionately Okay Thank you for the previous says how to do it while lying on your back with a pillow under your hips Your partner gets to your legs and penetrates you from above

So to speak with their body is parallel to yours. I love the from above kneeling reach around This is for the lesbians Can I see that? Is there a picture? Yeah Oh, wow. Oh, yeah, that's a girl. Yeah for she's got a strap on A strap on and then flick in the bean and then a reach around flick That's hot. It's dope. Yeah, I like that. That's cool. If you were a lesbian, would you use a strap on? Is there are there two different types of lesbians? Please don't be offended by that

No, I think it's like other lesbians that use strap-ons only community you have tops and and bottoms and power bottoms and power bombs Suplexes you said power bottoms twice your power. I said power bombs. Uh-oh. Yeah, would you you'd be a power bottom? I don't I don't really know the uh, I would I like to think I'm a top We all do honey. I know I That's funny. Yeah, I'm assuming it's the same thing in the lesbian like community. Yeah, I don't know I'm honestly just asking any lesbians out there that want to just comment. Yeah Is there roles are there are there roles and is there just like the mlb like there's hitters

There's yeah, and there's there's also no left-handers right-handers and switch hitters. Yeah, some people play on both sides You know, but like if you're like a lesbian Do you enjoy strap-ons? Or is that like just a preference thing? Yeah, I would love to know. Yeah, uh reverse cowgirl First cowgirl. Do you do you think that's all it's cracked out. It's cracked out to be not for me. It kind of hurts my penis It does Why is there your penis because it's like it's it's in there, right? And then it's coming back this way Because it's like reverse cow, you know, it's a tough it's a tough thing to pull off. Well, sorry

What is this red hot chili pepper? I don't know how that happened, but anyway, now we're gonna get flagged. Yeah, but uh, um Reverse cowgirl, it's it's great. It's still it's sex. It's great. Yeah, I'm gonna come I just think that When people talk about like their favorite positions. Yeah, like it's always in someone's top three And i'm like, is it though like in your top three? I think for girls. They like it I think girls enjoy reverse cowgirl. I'm not saying I don't enjoy it Yeah, I enjoy the whole thing if my penis is in there. We're good Yeah, we're having a party. We're having a good time

I'm not gonna complain. Yeah But it hurts your penis. It hurts my penis sometimes The lotus This sounds Very hard. That's like this is a difficulty. Like that's like when you're sitting indian style And they straddle you Can I see? Yeah Shit to the phone farther, sorry. Yeah

Oh, yeah. Oh, this is love making. Yeah, this is love making. Yeah Yeah, this is like this is how people fuck in like tps and stuff Yeah, and like there's like peyote everywhere like around a campfire Not an incense burning. That's a slow-mo sex position right there. That's a movie sex thing. Yes Yeah, you're sitting indian style and she's kind of like hugging you and you guys are just like slowly like just kind of just Throw the hair back in slow-mo. Yeah. Yeah. All right, cool. What's the next one? I don't mind that one Wait, is there months attached to those? Yeah, I was saying like The best time to do them. I guess

interesting X marks the spot So it's they're laying on the edge of the bed And and you're standing and you cross their legs Cross them. Yeah and thrash I've never thought of the cross cross and thrash. I guess it maybe feels better It probably makes it like Like it. Oh, that's nice. Yeah pull themselves

It allows you to use the legs as leverage to pull yourself deeper into your partner Whoa, it's also a great position for people with smaller penises. Let's go son Hell yeah, sign me up. Try that tonight. Send me that link right now. Fuck yeah Doggy style obviously a great one. Yeah classic dog. Do you ever put your like do you stay on both knees? I do the step over. I step over sometimes. Do you ever go double? Double step over. Yeah. Oh, that is that is like a primate. Yeah, I like that like face down And then like now you're just doing this That's just hot

Oh god, that's like could you start in regular doggie and then it just becomes like a downward dog And then you can just fucking thrash. Yeah But ihonda from street fighter It's ridiculous Regular cowgirl on top What is regular cowgirl like just riding? Oh, okay. Yeah, that's cool. I like that the boobies bouncing in your face Modified doggy style modified. All right. How did scientific here? Yeah, how to do it. That's the picture

Oh, that guy looks like he's doing a mountain climber. Yeah, it does a plank. He's got great core strength. Whoever that is Yeah, he has to Basically, you're getting into doggy style for this one. You guys are having sex in doggy style position while both in a push-up position Yeah But you're lowering yourself down. So either you're either flat on the bed with your partner Or on your elbows as opposed to your hands That is a plank. That's a plank That pussy's getting planked

Why is sex so funny? I don't know. It's great. I think we're just immature. Sex will never not be funny I love it. Just like how farts will never not be funny. It's hard for me to not laugh at a fart and people falling down Amazing best Legs up missionary one of my faves. Yeah You can really thrash from that position You can You're right starting a missionary. What was that? It says starting a missionary roll your hips back a bit with your legs Sorry getting riled up from here your partner penetrates you while you rest your legs on your shoulders. That is fucking hot

That's dope. Come on. I'm scratching relax scratching. I know you're tucking up Oh, this is almost done November 69 That's the month it's attached to oh, I was like what did you say though? He said the month was attached to him. I didn't you said November 69. I thought this was a different version. No, no, no, no 69 I like it I'll tell you this I I am on the bottom Well, yeah, I am not doing 69 and let let poor nuts act dangle on somebody's forehead

Also, you're a big boy here. Someone could die. No, because if I'm on all fours Dude, if you I'm not laying on them. That's what I'm saying because usually the girls are laying. No Yeah 69 they're like a cat they're like perched. Yeah, but they're like you could feel the weight Yeah, but they're s in your d. So they're not just laying flat. No, they're not laying flat But you're also are getting some weight here getting some weight. You can't be on top of that Hmm Listen, you just can't I wouldn't want to regardless if I was fat or skinny

It hasn't just what I'm saying. I don't want my it has nothing to do with there's nothing It's not necessarily push-ups naked No, dany next time Why next time you get out of the shower do a push-up don't do a push-up naked just just do a plank Naked okay and see where your balls and your dick dangle. Yeah, they go they go flopping You don't want that you don't want that f slapping around somebody's face. It's not about that It's about yo, I have a dick if if if you're on top. She's got a dick in her mouth if you like It's like bald goggles too. Yeah, and if you get tired and your b-holes right there god god bless

And like if you get tired god bless you're gonna kill her she could choke And just no oxygen. I do have a thick penis Jesus Christ just telling truth. All right. What else we got over there any who's there? November 69 November 69 the last one standing Standing what? Standing up standing 69. Oh just standing sex. Yo standing 69 now. That would be something that would be a feat of strength Yeah, I think I I

Not for long I've dabbled it's for it's for to be funny to be honest with you, but and superior ass standing sex I can't I'm too short not even I'm just like what I need like a five nine like you need a curve Yeah, the fuck just happened that I don't know. I need like a curved dick in order to do that That's not happening. Curved dicks are weird when they go like up. Yeah Like I get like a little like you know like a fork in the road. Can I have one this way? No Oh, I have a straight arrow dick. Yeah But like I see those ones that like They're either so heavy that they bend to like the left

Or they're just all fucked up Or they curve upward those are weird. Yeah, but you probably hit the g-spot like a beast. Yeah, probably because you're doing like the hook Yeah, dammit the hook Interesting yeah, man dicks are awful dude dicks are awful Yeah, um Anyway, I also want another note. This is the last podcast we'll probably be doing in this office This is the last podcast we're going to be doing in this in this place I am moving into a new place in three days. Wow, and uh, yeah

Well, my uber price is about to go way up or you just take the train for 250 That could do that too, but you know, I will not right Um, what are you gonna miss the most about this place? Um, I'm not That is a great reason to move. Yeah, and it has nothing to do with the actual space I'm just not gonna miss it because I feel like I desperately need to change Yeah changes is good. Yeah. No, this is like a bit like a stupid Problem to have or whatever, but I just felt like the place was too big

Yeah, so I couldn't it didn't feel homey It felt more like an office. Yeah, and like you're living at the office So I got a new place. That's a lot smaller. I'm just like I feel like it's more like I can keep it clean And we get to decorate it I just say that because because I like to decorate. Yeah, me too. We're going to get a new tv for it right now Please put a tv in the studio Where we edit no Then I would have three tvs. So

It's just a tv so we could put the apple tv in there Why are you It's talking like this like you're because I like to watch sports sometimes so watch it on your phone And you how you gonna watch sports and edit at the same time never get anything man Yeah, never get nothing You never get nothing I can help you go get a tv Yeah, maybe you'll get another one

We're not getting another god damn it unless you want to buy it. I will see maybe I will if you buy it When I move out you can have it It's yours. I mean, you know what I mean, like if you want to buy a tv, I'll put it there Yeah, then you can it's yours. All right. You can take it whenever you want Discussion to be had later. This is the most ridiculous conversation. Hey, listen Don't get no what I got in november 69 yet to get this tv in there probably november 69 me if we were to 69 I'd have to be on the top. Yeah for sure Yeah, real quick real quick lightning. Yeah, if you were gonna use any position on me. Just look at me

What would you go to doggy? Yeah That was that was that was a questionable response. That was very gay. That was scary spots I think we've reached the pinnacle of our gayness there. Oh my god. Oh man. Joe, where can they find you? Oh Man that is that is rich. I'll tell you this I will not fix that in post That's making that's making this week's video. Oh man your face when you said that. Oh, yeah Oh man Holy shit

Dude, if we ever built this podcast to the point where it's like a very very famous podcast I have zero debt in my mind that 90 of people are gonna think we're gay for each other. Oh damn it I thought you were gonna say something else What were you gonna say like 90 chance we fuck at least once Just like the fame and success We have everything else except for each other If we got so famous Imagine the next week's episode after like if we actually fucked dude like coming into the office being like, hey

You you want a water or something? What's up? Well last week's episode was pretty funny, right? Oh, fuck that's funny. You never want to talk. You never want to talk about what happened Yeah, I think people think we're gay now. Yeah, probably. Yeah Whatever, it's fine. We're power to us. Yeah. Um, Anyway, where can they find you? At the closest bath house. Yeah Bath house. I think that's where gay people go to have sex, right? I think gay people have sex everywhere shout out to gay people bathhouses are disgusting though. Yeah, they are gross

But you can find me at Daniela puri on twitter and instagram Um, yeah, and you guys could support the show by going to patreon.com slash the baseman yard slash Uh patreon spelled p a t r e o n dot com slash the baseman yard Um, and go follow our instagram account at the baseman yard and that as well. We'll see you next time