The Basement Yard - #163 - The Return Of Keith

Episode Date: November 12, 2018

My brother Keith is back on the podcast after a long hiatus! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What? Welcome back to the face of the night. Alright, we're recording Keith for God's sakes. Yes, welcome back to the basement yard. Me and Danny are joined by Keith today. This is going to be a hot episode. Your face is beat red by the way. Can we talk about something? Are you crying?

A little bit of tears. Anyway, Keith hasn't been on the podcast in a while. The people have missed you so much. Where have you been? On that Twitch? Gaming heavy? I love watching your Twitch sometimes. I've told multiple stories on this podcast

about how you used to flip out when playing those games. Remember when you screamed suck my dick and mom was sleeping? Our mother was sleeping. It was like four in the morning. Playing Halo. And I was playing the Halo campaign. So it's like I'm playing against somebody else.

Psycho. Is there a new Halo coming out? Yeah, it's coming out in December. Halo Infinite. Can it be any good, do you think? They're mostly focusing on the campaign for that one. Who knows? Did you get Red Dead Redemption yet?

Dude, it's 156 gigs. What the fuck are we doing? I had to buy a hard drive just for it. See, that's the whole thing. You got to buy something else to play a game. Just make the consoles supported. Remember the joy of just putting a video game in and just turned on.

Dude, the PlayStation, remember that? I mean, I'm going way back. PlayStation 1? That stupid thing in the middle used to pop off. You don't remember this? Oh, ours was broken. You had to close the thing and play the...

We were just randomly playing. We were just slowly open. I'm talking about when you put the disc on. It was that little dot. The black dot. The disc off. And then out of nowhere, it was that game

where the pieces just jump up. Not operation. The fuck's that called? You only have a minute to do it? Yeah, and it's like... Not a boom, but it's like... Something along those lines.

I probably still can't complete that game. Yeah, it's tough. You got to go mad fast. I've never won a game of operation. No, I suck at that game. I shake like a drug addict and withdrawal. Withdrawal.

It's a hard word to say. Withdrawal. How do you say drawer? I wouldn't say it. I don't say drawer. Yeah, drawer. And how do you say ask? I say ask.

Ask? I say ask sometimes. I try to say ask. Like an axe? Let me ask you a question. I don't say let me ask you a question. I'll get that kind of time. I wouldn't like you if you said it like that.

Perfection. I don't want to hear what you have to say. Perfection? Name of the game. What is it called? Perfection. Let me see. Stress.

Yeah, you do. It's over for me. I got some grace. You have a nice face. So it's different. I got to wear two faces. As soon as it comes in here, it's all over. Can I ask, when did the mustache start?

I'm a mustache aficionado myself. I'm sure there's a lot of ladies who want to grab onto those mustaches and just ride that to hell. Grab your mustache and just ride it to heaven. Or hell. Just saying one or the other.

It'd probably be more hell. Yeah, I was going to say hell is more like a hardcore porn. Yeah, I don't know. Wait, so when did you start growing that? That mustache? I want to know. And why? What was the motivation behind it?

There was no motivation. I think it started as pure laziness. Yeah. And then I just saw that it just kept growing out. This is the only thing that's really thick. Yeah. Growing wise. Yeah.

But this took me like 11 months so far. Whoa, you haven't changed your mustache in 11 months. So from the last episode he was on he's been growing his mustache. Well, I trimmed it. For the wedding you trimmed it. But there it was like fucked up and it looked like Joey's thing. Like Joey's mustache.

Oh, like it's double. That's a good look though. Yeah, but I don't have a chin. I don't have a lot of things going on. Yeah, I hear you. My beard doesn't grow in fully. I have to do a lot of like masking. My lips are small.

So I need to cover stuff. There's nothing wrong with that. I just wanted to know why you grew it. Because I actually enjoy it. You got to get food in there constantly. Dude, I eat sandwiches. Do you have to like put it up? Hold on, let me finish the sentence.

Dude, I eat sandwiches. I like cakes. I like sports. I ate three oranges once. Mom packed a juice box. Today he brought baguette and cheeses here for me and him. And he ate one. And there was cheese.

It got like behind your mustache. It's like in crevices. How do you clean that thing? You don't. That thing must taste so good. Whoa. No, no, no. This is gross and whatever.

But like the curl gets better throughout the day. Because there's like grease and bullshit in there. Have you ever thought about getting like that mustache cream? Like wax? Yeah, it's like beard oil. Maybe like two pointy.

I look like I look like just give me a fucking pitchfork like I'm fucking Satan. So what's the plan though? Are you going to grow this all the way down like Chinese Zen master or something? Like a full man? Like Hulk Hogan? You know how like the Chinese guys got like

it's like thin but then it gets really long? And are you going to like stroke it in times of wisdom? But this is thick, dude. That's thick. It's thick as fuck. No. I kind of like this look. But I think that this needs to

like be buzzed down a little bit. But the the stash is thick. You think this is too long? No, I think it's good. To make my beard look more full I have to trim this down and let my mustache grow out more. So it looks more full

like up here in the front. I usually buzz this and then buzz this at a different like size. Yeah, I fade it. Fade it. Shout out Tyga. Tyga is kind of making a comeback.

Is he? Yeah. He has that song. That was like a top song. Taste. I don't even know it. I don't know it either. But apparently he's like kind of like coming back. I always listen to old songs like you already know. Keith listen to full on instrumentals. I'm like really late mainstream. Yeah.

That's how I operate. I'm like either songs three years old. Dude, I came out in like 2006. What's your favorite genre music? I literally listen to anything. So I'm not going to answer that question. The other day the other day he gets in my car he goes, yeah you want to hear a mad good song?

It was the it was the old school like the first ever Fortnite like what they're like soundtrack. Their OG version. The COG remix. And it was like an instrumental. They have that in the game.

But like this thing is like an hour long. Is there an ice cream man in here? I don't know. What the fuck is that? I don't know. But I'm starting to get terrified. Yo is there a clown in here? Jesus Christ. It's coming from the closet.

Careful dude. What song is this? Oh my gosh. I was waiting for like a little like man to come out on a tricycle out of your fucking closet. I'll be completely honest with you right? I'm sweating now. I'll be completely honest with you.

That little like whatever if you couldn't hear that there was like a little fucking melody playing. I was cleaning my apartment this morning and I heard it for a second. I was just like, what the fuck was that? It was for the niggas window. I'm really hoping it's the dishwasher. Dude if your dishwasher makes that sound.

Why is it so long? It's a long song. Roll it out. Set it on fire. Just sacrifice it and affirm another one. Affirm. Shout out to affirm. $8 a month for the rest of your fucking life.

To pay for this dishwasher. Oh yeah I could pay $9 a month. That's awesome. For 156 months steal. I'm all about that. Keeping that monthly cost down. That's it. But you guys had two bacon I could cheese.

I'm fucking starving. Dude I had half of one. Your face was like gross if you're drunk eating. Yeah. If he's eating like like if I have a beer. There was some chow

there was some sour cream and cheddar living in there for a little bit. Oh hell yeah. If you were to suck on this you'd probably get some of it. That's what I'm saying it's probably delicious. There's probably someone out there that would suck your stash. It's probably the only benefit of sucking my stash.

There's a lot. There's a lot of good dirty food in there. If a girl was like I want to suck your stash would you let her do it? If she wasn't a vegetarian. Yeah. Checklist I want to warn you

if you have gluten allergy or like anything you gotta sign a waiver to suck this stash. There might be tree nuts in here. There's some peanut oil in here. Yeah. You might have an allergic reaction. I've eaten a lot of things in the past two days. So crazy.

I barely take a shower. It gives me the curls are just ridiculous dude. I like the curl a lot. The curl is cool. You look like a viking. Or you look like someone who really likes IPA.

Hit his wife. But had his own boat back in the day. You know what I mean? Yeah okay. Like a steamboat. Or like a ton of hookers on one of those trains. The locomotive trains. He had his own car.

They're like run by coal. So now we're going back to the 19 Like the Polar Express. You wore suspenders every day. You had a black cream shop at one time. Did I have a top hat? Yeah from time to time. You had one of those suits that had like flaps.

Y'all in the back. Let's go. Why do you not have a cane? I actually do. Why do you have a cane? I actually do. It's not for the stash. It was for when I fucked up my knee.

It gave me a bullshit cane. They didn't give me a cane. I had a cane. I forgot where we were. I was with mom. They had a clear one. With like something inside it. I was like I want to buy that right now.

You should get a cane. It's 25 bucks. Filled with water and goldfish. And they're always swimming around. You can never feed them. And they just die. And then water would turn green. And then dead fish. I didn't think that through.

That happens. Probably. You've seen it a thousand times. Algae-intested type disease. That's cool. I'm still kind of like freaking out a little bit. About the whole jingle. It was a little scary.

I'm looking around a little bit. Thankfully you have security on the wall. I have security cameras. Just imagine you saw a clown. Just with balloons. Don't even say it. They're night vision. At night it's not like it goes black.

It's like I could see it. In all the movies you see crazy weird shit. Ghosts. People looking into the cameras at night. I always think I hope I don't see anything on there. You knew there was those clown people that were walking around. That was so stupid.

That should have happened in New York. Your ass kicked. It was in Ohio. You're on Instagram driving. There were loads and loads of guys like Oh my god. Let that shit happen in Queens. You're getting fucking rocked.

Someone's like y'all I'm a clown. It's great. It walked right past them. Everyone's a fucking zombie. He's got a knife. Give me your purse. That's the one train. Someone's getting robbed.

Someone's like can I get a dollar a dollar for everyone I'm selling peanuts and no one gives a shit about either thing how do you guys how do you guys feel about people that's staying on the train all right some of them are bad yeah like there's a girl that usually gets on she has her own guitar like as if she's renting it um she has a guitar and stuff and she's like I'm gonna play you guys a song I used to be addicted to heroin like again this this sucks that like you have a drug problem whatever but or so they say she makes up her own song like and the song is terrible

wait is it like I'm on heroin and I'm on the train put the droolz no um that's a second mention of what the droolz is yeah why did I laugh like that I don't know cuz I was gonna follow up with something but I scared myself I'll never forget the first time someone came into a train and was just like listen up this will only take a second and I was like oh my god no it was like the first time so much to do it was the first time that I was on the train in my life and I was like a kid it was like the first time I was able to go on the subway by myself and I was going to the

city with my friends this guy came in with a powerful voice was like yo and I was like it's over so scared but he was selling peanut M&Ms for a basketball team they always are but I bought those peanut M&Ms they're basketball teams yo peanut M&Ms are regular M&Ms we're going back to candy I know I just want to know peanut M&Ms are regular M&Ms if you're walking in you know I'm gonna get one peanut M&Ms all the way see it too faster peanut M&Ms all the way peanut M&M peanut M&Ms I can't I can't Keith there's no two different fucking M&Ms I'm gonna keep this fire burning I'll go both ways

on this one what does that mean how my phone I've never mixed and matched it's the jingle yeah I could see both which phone is it is your real phone or your fucking dad phone look at this I got a flip phone oh god oh god I gave it to God can I be honest for before I eviscerate that flip phone take a head the worst subway people are like to like let's go now let's go like doing the flips and doing all the shit I'm like I don't want to see you do flips at 9 30 in the morning man yeah that thing that's an afternoon thing now hold on I got a train one it happened recently too I think I told you about it

I'm on the train playing whatever fucking game on my phone I was about to say I thought you were I was on the train I'm not trying the guitar you know I'm saying I'm playing piano man by Billy Joel getting after it just really jamming out no I'm fucking this guy comes on ask for money doesn't no one looks at him no one says anything he was asking for like you know how like they go down like tears just like try to get something out of you yeah and he's like nah I just want to smile right still nothing and then he goes this is why I want to shoot people this is what the guy says right he said that I'm the only one that like I

didn't look up but like in my head I'm like all right now if he takes three steps towards me now I'm fucking running to that person and I'm gonna throw my phone as hard as possible this guy's face right and right as I say this right like I'm saying this in my head someone in the back of the car goes you wait about that life motherfucker and I was like oh I'm like and he wasn't he went right on to the next car but sometimes you need somebody to match the homeless energy but it's true though because they do get away with a lot like they take you captive in there basically yeah and you need somebody that one fucking

warrior that's just like no and it's not all gonna do this right I feel like people who aren't from New York I want to be that guy though I know I wish I was shut the fuck up sit down like I want to be that guy it's like yo shut the fuck up Keith you're not gonna be that guy with that mustache and that shirt yeah right hey man it'll be alright can you can you just have a man we're all just trying to get to where we need to go we're trying to go to work man it's exactly it but the thing that's crazy is like you know that stupid fucking announcement well it's not stupid but um you see anything suspicious or anything

just something sir or like an MTA like yeah say something no one has time to fucking say anything it's like yeah he'll go to the next car and say the same fucking thing over there and I'll see something every move on with my life like that's how New York operates dude it's New York City there's something to see yeah anywhere you look I feel like if you said something to like the police officer like he said he was gonna like shoot off the train and then he'd probably call you a bitch like that but get out my face I also hate how the train guys and then we're like wait what no the best train of my honor it's like

guys this train's not running to these sort of all the streets and everybody helps stand clear close the doors and you're like wait can I stay on this to get ready to go this is a Manhattan bound as trained but you've got all the sort of them doors and then you look at the person next to you go and are we where is this going to 73 everyone is confused like wait wait wait it's not going to Lexington Avenue just like he says it like multiple times like it's if it's really fucking important guys like off forget and I gotta fucking take on my ear pod like

listen what's going on not only that but like these trains are like brand new at their air conditioner very clean PA system is that of a like a public school from 1991 it's like it's like a Charlie Brown fucking that thing it'd be better off wow wow wow wow wow wow wow it's like clear closing doors and then the doors don't fucking close it sounds like the parents and then you can hear the guy perfectly after that when the doors don't close yeah hold the fucking doors it's like all right shit let go of the doors you being mad at consider it we got to get these people back back to their location I fuck it I miss taking

the subway haven't taken a while and I always feel like you should you should take it because you experience so much oh my New York City so many stories yeah you can you can really live New York City on the subway yeah the one thing that bugs me out is how people can sleep on the subway and wake up for their stop you're looking at him Keith does that I would get drunk and fall asleep on the train but it was but you could like wake up for your stuff no no he can't because there was a time where I was he was he went out after work with I was bad people from way that was so bad man I was bad I hate when people call

themselves bad I was so bad no I'm not not it was bad because like three slices of peace I was so bad I was supposed to stream that night too no so here's the thing on he was out in the city after working some drinks and he got drunk and I'm texting him and I'm like you know you know blah blah blah don't ever get on the train which is shut the fuck up so he you can't talk over people so he gets on the train and I'm like I'm gonna pick you up from the train right so I drive there and he's like I'm like two stops away I'm like alright so I get there and I'm parked outside a train pulls up I'm waiting nothing happens

Keith it's it I have drives back another train another train comes and then whatever shut the fuck up Keith Jesus Christ just thought you ever see that clip it's been a year you can't podcast and talk over people it's annoying you ever see that clip when Kanye gets mad at that dude we're talking like during the radio interview no it's like I'm talking man stop talking what I'm talking man yeah no but listen so the reason why I wanted to tell the story so bad is because I get there and I'm like yo like I'm texting I'm like yo I'm like here like where are you blah blah blah when he

goes I'm at like 50 second right now I'm on 51st right now how far was that from where you were what happened was the train was two stops away and it pulls into the station and then just and then he didn't get off because he was asleep and then it went back into Manhattan they gotta have a wake-up policy yeah like someone come by and then get up wake the fuck up come on dickheads they gotta I would be terrified no no no I'd be confused I've fallen asleep on the Metro North and ended up like an hour away from my house all right look that's there yeah I had to like call my dad to come get me

uh what was it I have two stories of this it's I hated it like this why I don't I don't drink anymore at work because I'm just really tired I love how you throw in at work this is why I have completely cut out drinking at work you stop drinking on the job good for you man it's good it's towards it's towards this is why I don't consume alcohol while I work anymore I'm about to get a drink right now now I'm not selling an alcoholic but um it's towards the end of work all right all right but um your job's safe oh join the group join the group yeah what the fuck was the story I don't know

now because you guys interrupted me oh that's you now what I do see when there's three people this gets a little I didn't do anything you always interject you're an interjector I'm no way yeah you are I think I just have better stories you had two stories oh fuck me um what was it that that story yes uh oh no wait no yeah that was the same one um drink at work you drink at work yeah right so now I went all the way I literally stopped went all the way back into the spin yeah went all the way back into Manhattan but like now I'm like uh where was I I was past I think I was like past 34th street like I was fucking like

going back to work 15 stops I know I was like going back to work type shit and um I I woke up and I was holding like my arms were hurting me because I had my backpack like this and my head was like on top of it like that's how I was sleeping and I look to the side of me there's no one on the car and there's just an open pizza box with one piece taken out of it like I bought it I remember buying you wait oh you bought a whole pizza yeah and then like a like a whole pizza yeah hold on it gets it get it was funny right so now I took one bite I guess left it open and then just took a nap and woke up yo I'm not even joking I was probably out for like an hour

yeah like you probably hit REM cycle yeah and then but like I was just like fucking holding on to something like someone was stealing this and then just passed out my arms to kill yeah it was it was fucking stupid I've had that happen the worst one mom's gonna fucking kill me for this one but uh what was it uh same story this is um same story uh got on the train but it was late so I couldn't get on the I couldn't get on the W do I go home so I had to like take two trains to get to where I needed to go which obviously wasn't fucking happening so I got on the four train which is a great train to get on yeah in general it's terrible fucking fall asleep on the train and like you know when like you're trying to sleep and uh like your head just keeps going like this

yeah like that's what I was doing for like a good hour and the only reason I woke up because mom texts me all how close are you and I'm like oh yeah I'll be home in like like five minutes meanwhile I was at like 116th street like something like that yeah well it's now I get out of uh I get as soon as the train stops I'm like fuck so now I get out go up luckily taxi just right as I got out went right in got out of my home fell asleep in the taxi I fall asleep in uber's constantly we talked about that I fall asleep not just because I'm drunk it's not that I'm really drunk it's I'm just really fucking tired I get the same way at the end of the night if I like drink especially if I drink and then I stop drinking yeah then I'm like Joe I did that I did that over here I know

I had two beers pass on his couch till like 11 o'clock and then for some reason didn't go home till 5 30 in the morning I'm a fucking idiot no it happens it happens I was hanging out with a childhood friend yeah but anyway especially at work yeah we got to talk about this this phone here how's the service hello it's great is it on wing yeah it's on wing it's a wing uh kind of look at it yeah check it out it's our alcatel it's a real it's a real uh flip phone now how much is this a month $12 holy shit unlimited $12 CD made plans unlimited what do you need what do you need our our plans come in uh that $12 plan plus there's a half a gig plan which is $15 and it goes up to a gig have you taken any pictures yet gigs $20 let me see I don't know

cameras great taking a picture of me it's like a razor phone this uh this this phone actually takes uh the same sim card that uh an iphone 8 takes really so I have this isn't the only phone that I have now I have my regular phone but I got a flip phone because I'm trying to disconnect from social media good luck especially but well I unfollowed everyone on everything like on Twitter and on uh Instagram I unfollowed everyone me yeah why what do I need to see you can't leave your fucking brother yeah why'd you unfollow us because you can't grip it onto that I need an explanation now not me no I unfollowed everyone because I think you didn't even leave mom she didn't even do anything that's what I'm saying I had to unfollow her look at this I'm fucking

believable these people don't don't don't don't consider it let's say it's not a noise so what happened to us nothing this is not gonna do with you too not personal it's not personal for anyone that I unfollow not personal no I take Joe you followed me since day one listen I found out the trick if you're gonna unfollow someone you know there's people that you follow that you're like I cannot follow this person because they're gonna hit me up and be like yo what the hell so you will follow everyone what's happening right now yeah but you unfollow everyone and then there's some sort of like all right at least it's everybody and it's not just me yeah no the reason why I did that makes you a full piece of shit now I didn't want to use I didn't want to start using Instagram

I didn't want to use Instagram and Twitter and like social media like as much as I was using it because it was like absurd there would be some days that be sitting there for like six hours on my couch and like just like not straight but like basically six hours out of the day I'm looking at my phone and scrolling on Instagram watching shit that like I don't even care about and with I know it's different but the way that I was doing it I was like truly addicted so and there would be times that I would go out out and be out with like my mom or my family or I'm out with my friends at a bar and we're all looking at our phones or you know I'm looking at my phone and like you miss something or like you're watching a football game and you're looking at your phone and you don't really see a

play so you gotta rewind it or you gotta be like oh fucking whatever blah blah blah so I got a flip phone so just because I'm gonna be taking this with me if I go out like today we're gonna go out we'll we might meet up with you in the city later no we're meeting up yeah we're meeting up and I'm gonna be having to have this phone the entire time so you have to call me like you can't I'm not gonna be able to look at my phone I can't take pictures or take stories of shit like I'm not gonna take a picture so you're not gonna bring your iPhone out no I'm not I'm gonna leave it home I only will take I'm gonna take my iPhone when if I have to go to like a meeting or something and I'm like all right well I'm gonna have to take ubers today I'll do that but I unfollowed

everyone so it's easier it makes it easier not to use social media I still kind of click into it and then I only follow the basement yard Instagram go follow at the basement yard and that'll that'll be the first thing I see and I go oh yeah I don't follow anyone like there's nothing to see here so I'll just get out of it you know and I won't look at the search page or anything like that but if I'm if I am driving somewhere and I already gave everyone that I talked to like my flip phone number so they're gonna have to store it yeah you have to you have to call me and I'll pick it up and like I'll talk I started already Joey flips Joey flips baby but good for you so yeah good for you but I do feel a little salty that you know followed us yesterday

I went to like bedbath me on at Home Depot and all these things and usually I'd be on my phone for for like a well you know even while you're driving or while you're checking out or while you know you're in the store you're just like looking at shit that like dude you came here to shop and get some things for your apartment like why are you looking at Instagram or why are you trying to come up with a tweet or right now like whatever so you know but I had this on me so I didn't do that at all and I want to just train myself to do that until I can like until I feel like I can have my phone on me okay and not feel like every five seconds I gotta check it so is this like more of like an experiment no it's not really experiment or is it like a detox a detox

it's a detox I feel like people do this too and they're like oh I'm just not I'm gonna delete my apps but it doesn't really last long with this I'm like forced to do it I'm gonna be without my iPhone for like eight hours dude I'd fucking lose my mind yeah wait if I don't need your iPhone yeah I'm not gonna have it for like eight hours how are you gonna get home I barely look at how am I gonna get home I'm gonna be with Keith maybe he'll call an Uber or I'll catch a yellow taxi or I'll take the train like I don't have a lot of fucking you didn't have over like I don't fucking I have over as far as it yeah you this is my problem I have so many fun like you get mad pages I have fucking games that's all I do on my phone I play games it's a gamer I don't even text

like you're gonna text me I have groups Keith has his read receipt on yeah you have yeah I have them all in groups I have two pages that's it yeah I have six pages over there that's that's too much Jesus I support it I support I support the move yeah I just wanted to it's gonna be annoying to get in touch with you now though you call me you face time me anyway what's the difference just call me kiss me I like to I like to talk to people me too and that's the thing I every time I used to call you used to be like why are you calling me because you would talk to me and have nothing to say so what I'm just saying hello dude I see you all the time there's no yo let's say hello I'm sick of him already you're fired get out get out get out unfollowed

and fired go find the clown and get the fuck out I'm gonna say take you and then fucking creepy noise out here Hector let's go yeah but I think that hired him it's off I just want to I just want to change it because I was super addicted and I hate that like you two especially are people that you hate the fact when you're trying to have a conversation with me I'm looking down my phone I'm not oh I can't stand it a lot of people have that about me you know many times I want to just like fucking hit you right in the face yeah no because he'll be like yeah I'll be like yeah so like what are you thinking like about merch and then I would say like three things and he wouldn't answer no didn't know but he didn't even like register you were still talking to him

and that but it'll hit you with like the yeah yeah I wish like we were in like like uh like the south where like you could just fire a gun off and it'd be fine so because isn't that true though I don't know I feel like everyone has like the police wouldn't like just come to your house like you know I'm saying because like you there's there's a lot of acres in between if you if you if you were to fire a gun off in this apartment Joe would be arrested so fast but that's why I wouldn't do it no but down there to be like all right yeah keep it down Tommy go back inside now just take it easy cool off you sleep you sleep it off you sleep that one off Tommy no because I would joke with him like while he was like this I was I was like I would like

talk shit about him while he was like that because he can't fucking hear anything I'd be like I'll be like yeah Shannon I could have literally just like fucking fired a gun off in the in the room and he wouldn't have like flinched or anything all right before we move forward let's get to the sponsors here the first one we have here is quip which is my new toothbrush here okay it's a nice electric one it has a sensitive sonic vibrations which sounds a little sexual when I say it like that but that's how they have it written here but I'm just gonna tell you right now straight up toothbrush is amazing guys it's amazing okay not only is it amazing just for being a toothbrush but they'll also send you brush heads like they're automatically delivered on a

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however you get to choose a new cologne every single month okay and if you can't even decide they have a cologne of the month you can just take that one all right these are designer brands gucci tomford kenneth coal i don't know that last one but i'm sure it's very nice and fancy okay you choose your cologne you get a new scent each month and they come with a sleek uh the the sleek travel spray it lasts 30 days all right and that's if you're using it every day who the hell's doing that unless you like work weddings every single day why you're wearing cologne every day relax who you're trying to press you know what i mean but everyone likes a good cologne you like to smell nice you like you know special occasions stuff like that you get designer brands now

every single month it's cheap it's great um you know i've used scent bird i got a couple i got a couple if you see me on the street now you'd be like what is that what does that smell it's me it's scent bird what's up a new one comes every month you see me two months later i'm going to smell different i'm smell just as good though i'm telling you right now um but if you're someone who's into colognes or you're not into colognes and you want to start getting to it scent bird is a great a great way to do that um this is affordable and uh you get to choose you know like i said designer brands new ones every single every single month um right now if you visit scent bird dot com slash basement and use my code basement you get 50 off oh my god 50 off god that is amazing

um guys that's only seven dollars and fifty cents for your first month free shipping by the way this is like they're giving it away at this point scent bird dot com slash basement and use the code basement for 50 off your first month sc ent bird dot com slash basement if you can't spell all right there you go also one more thing i kind of want to plug is my other podcast called other people's lives this is a podcast i do with my buddy greg where we call uh people anonymously and i mean they know we're calling them but like they're anonymous so that they can talk about you know things whatever but we interview people and we talk to them about you know these crazy stories that they have or you know these unique jobs that they have or some weird fetish uh or

whatever uh but yeah it's very interesting and it's kind of like a more serious side of me i think that you you guys would enjoy uh definitely go check it out um it's available on soundcloud itunes you know wherever you get podcasts it's it's there it's called other people's lives um we recently just talked to someone who left their job to travel the country we've talked to a ghost hunter someone with bipolar disorder strippers vampires someone who thinks they're a vampire uh just crazy people who are turned on by wedgies you know i'm transgender my parents don't know swingers someone who's into farting like fart fetishes like we've talked to everyone uh about everything and uh you know this show comes out every thursday so it's definitely something very interesting

definitely want you guys to check it out um if you're interested in that sort of stuff so yeah it's called other people's lives you could check it out on any platform that uh you consume podcasts but yeah i just wanted to throw that out there also can i ask you guys a question do you think like uh like your communication with each other is going to get better now that you have that no like as brothers yeah you think it'll get i think i think how he said no immediately i think across the board like how often do you know he doesn't like talking on the phone well like like now though like i'd rather talk in person that that's he that's a weird thing about we hang out at least like once a week i'd say yeah i'm saying you guys hang out but like what's

your correspondence like during the week though we don't really talk that much like we we have a group chat and sometimes we'll talk but i mean i work late and especially when i stream like there's i don't really talk to anybody there's like a couple days we'll go by and we won't talk but we'll hang out at least like once a week like i'm at the house either i'm at the house sunday anyway yeah so we hang out then and then it will go out friday or saturday sometimes so we hang but what was it when he was at his old apartment there were stints of months where i didn't even talk to him oh geez dude i was so you were that immersed immersed i don't know what the rest of your sense is going to be so i don't know in that culture well that wasn't because of the phone is

because i'm i'm in long island city so it was i was just sort of isolated from everyone so it was just kind of like this is a fucking different world out here yeah it is compared to where i live this is insane yeah what in a in what way it's just like everything so it's a neighborhood it's a neighborhood and everything is so spread out like i like i live in like on the upper east side of Manhattan all right so like everything's on one block everything's on one block like you guys like need cars here yeah which is insane still don't drive do you have a driver's license i have a permit learner's permit you've never got your driver's license no we you just never liked to drive or like you always just had like a dive version i guess no he he said that he what did you say

i said i'm gonna die a virgin i guess he you did take driving lessons what i'm not i'm not let the record show i have another show i'm joking multiple times um when when we were growing up i have grabbed don't say grabbed in this day and age we know it was about to follow yeah no but uh that's what i was gonna say we when i was learning how to drive our dad was teaching both of us at the same time yeah i was like but then i was more like i really wanted to get it and Keith was just kind of like i don't fucking care i want to go play i want to go play halo that's all you do how far apart are you guys 18 months yeah 18 months see like me and mike basically yeah but yo there's people like well into their 30s that don't have their driver's license my sister

doesn't have it she's like 29 if you live around here and you plan on living here for your whole life and you have a job in the city it's like there's no reason for me to have a car it's a it's a crazy monthly expense gas insurance and i'm taking the and it's like it would cost a lot yeah it would cost so sometimes you have to pay for a lot yeah which i was doing over there too it's just bad bro that's a that's a big ass expense yeah so it's like why am i gonna get a driver's license like what am i gonna use but what do i yeah what am i driving especially now with uber i think eventually like cars are just going to be like a thing of the past like how so no because yo i think they're gonna have ubers that come and pick you up with no

drivers at them soon they already have shit like that no way no but they also are capping ubers now no they they have shit like that do you know they're doing that they're capping ubers hold up i'm that i knew that i knew you know me that there's ubers that will come and get you no one driving not an uber it's like it's like a test phase shit of what they're trying i'm sure tesla probably has some shit like that would you trust that no fucking no no way i'd rather and i'm getting the fucking back no way yeah i'm not doing this it's like wait a minute why is the steering wheel turning off the bridge like what the fuck no that's how you get assassinated yeah someone hacks the system that's it joe that's an easy assassination dude if people can hack the

lock the door on you yeah yeah unless you fucking hate yeah i'm getting i'm not doing that this whole country needs to stop i would keep a hammer on me just to break the fucking window the days of running running out of a cab and not paying for it are over yeah you can't do that remember when it was just simple it was like nobody reads the newspaper anymore like that was the thing that everything's gonna go now dude yeah everyone does kindles um i like i love you're very rare the only way i can read you're very rarely see someone with like an actual book reading it i wish i could read actual physical what's wrong with actual books i like them better you want to know why you can like turn the pages it's not it feels like you

did something because like the time you didn't fucking sweat it's not it's true not it's true though but it's like i kind of i'm reading two books right now so instead of like having to worry about two books you know me i lose everything so i do did you tell you story what happened with his keys the other day you took his my he took my keys all the way to his apartment and the upper east side i had to go get him i saw the picture and you're like you're not gonna fucking let him in hat and the reason i like to kindle those because i could jump back and forth in between books no problem see but i could in the middle of raining them yeah how do you like i'll like i'll read a couple of like you're like oh you had 10 minutes of lying the witch in

the wardrobe and you're going right to fucking what's the last book you read from start to finish uh start to finish probably greg's book other uh the art the art of living other people's lives i know but i start wrote a book yeah bro you didn't know that it's not and it's mad good it's like 79 cents now you can buy it yeah go get it yeah it's on buy it on amazon support them i support them enough yeah true but yeah i read greg's book and then i started reading the subtle art of not giving a fuck and was just like kind of eh about it yeah and didn't finish it and i also didn't even talk about it before greg's book i read thank you for arguing and then i also read um no wonder i started reading the the average american male and whatever that

right so you were reading told me that i would like that book i think i didn't finish it though no start to finish though it was great last book i read was uh mastering anxiety and panic disorder how many times to read uh twice actually that's all yeah you read the book twice yeah because it's like a workbook like remember when i used to have to like write all my stuff down ah this guy you know he's reading books twice i had no i had to not as you're the man he had a test i had a test i had to test myself so but the last like book that like didn't like keep me from going insane uh maybe like one fish two fish a red fish a blue fish no no no something in high school completely slaughterhouse slaughterhouse five maybe what the fuck is that so it's a book by

oh no i know oh my car all right never mind no but i'm reading two books right now um this book on essentialism and then this other book that somebody recommended from the last show the art of understanding art uh oh i'm not gonna read that you're one of those yeah no no no i started reading it it's it's actually very interesting that's great i think you guys are talking about this but never mind you guys definitely already talking about what no no no the art shit like you'd look at something and you're just like what is that yeah oh yeah i can't i had the wrong job my whole life like everyone lied to me be a fireman be it no just start painting that's all you had to do there's two things yeah my kid's gonna be either a

painter because you don't have to be good or he's going in porn or you're gonna be a baseball picture because it's all guaranteed in the mlb okay yeah to be honest for sure wait mba too now right guaranteed yeah yeah of course yeah well he's not gonna do that mlb i'm 5 10 we're not making it i'm sorry you never know you never know yeah maybe if i make a kid with a six five woman how would you feel how would you feel if your kid if your kid had a bigger dick than you how would i know i would have to see his full grown 18 year old dick you're gonna see his dick he'll be you'll be dry parents one day my parents my parents are gonna see you naked my parents haven't seen my dick since it's been like a dick they've seen my penis well everyone's everyone's seen mine we've seen

Keith's dick hammer probably last night hammer of Thor over there there's no way your kid's gonna have a bigger dick than you i have like a myth dick i didn't get that gene him and Pete got that gene not do Pete Pete's unreal he might have like my like dude most of my dick his head looks like my neck Pete's head's probably like this dude he was talking to me it's like a mystical creature yeah he was talking to me at the bar that night and his side pipe was unbelievable y'all it's insane it was i don't know how he wears jeans it was unbelievable like he's gonna hate us all for this he scratches me and then i was like he's not scratching his knee that's his fucking penis yeah kid's gonna paint he's hiding he's hiding a lampshade i'm happy i have a big ball sack

because it makes it makes my dick look bigger and pay see i don't want a big ball sack a big sack like like it flaps so you want to like fucking it's just like like that shit only it's hitting your back your ass a pendulum yeah it's your ass i don't have it's not it's not saggy saggy ball hurt his ass and then hurt belly button if you it's like that fucking little toy that you get the clapper if you had saggy balls like really saggy balls yeah this question for you both okay would you get a ball reduction surgery or would you just keep your saggy ass balls i think we talked about this because you said you would get like a like a

you would get them fixed up i would get scrotox right but i no but that was just saying like if they were super saggy would you do that all right but how what's super saggy like gross like like down to like almost to your like mid thigh no because let me get problems i'll get caught between my legs when i'm running yeah if if yeah i would have to tape my balls yeah can't even do a push-up i would punch my son if you had a bigger dick than me wow in the face no no no just like in the arm no no i'm gonna punch him in the dick no if i saw his dick and it was bigger than me even yeah bigger than you that's what it is like it would just be hard to be like tell this kid what to do if i knew he had a bigger hog than me i mean i'd be so self-confident take out the trash

son holy shit take out the trash when you ever gonna see dick yours when you ever gonna see your kids like full grown dick you would change the same to richard i think dicks grow until you're 21 i think no way that is false dicks gotta keep growing i don't think they grow like forever they have to you know it's weird how you can get fat everywhere else except for your dick dick never gets fat you know you can gain weight around your dick well it's carl not in your dick right yeah like you know how like is dick cartilage or is it or is it made out of fat i think it's it's muscle yeah it has to be made out of fat it's it's probably part there's gotta be cartilage in there too no it's not like boom what makes it hard weight they get blood makes it hard blood

makes it hard yeah but then it gets it's like a muscle it's a muscle dude look that up on your wait say that word again what do you need look it up on your flip phone i want to i want to see what a dick is made out of what are dicks made out of it's gotta be a muscle it is like a tongue like a tongue's a muscle right tongues are strong the human penis is made up of three columns of tissue two corpora cavernosa lie next to each other it sounds like you're doing a harry potter spell over there when gargium leviosa two levitating two capora cavernosa lie next to each other on the dorsal side of one corpus spawn dorsal is it dorsal something like like a dolphin has like a dorsal fin or something yeah i think so i think you're right and you said capora which i

think is like sushi yeah and and one corpus spongio some lies between them on the bench oh man we are so dumb on this podcast we are we are very dumb i still don't know my dicks made of and i we just read that yeah i just i just wikipedia the human penis in this picture game up i don't want to show it i'll keep it it's a very it's a very manscape base it looks cold all right it's got it's got the goosebumps on there yeah it's like when you shave when girls shave their armpits you're like i think it's kind of bumpy in there oh this oh he's uh this is a flaccid uncircumcised penis i can't do that do you know oh my god what do you know what the lips of your penis are called you're never gonna guess and you're and you're gonna love it give me the

first letter you saw it immediately right that was the first thing i saw wait i skipped over on these three and went right i didn't see the dick oh wait hold on what's the first letter it's an m mouth no so this is an uncircumcised penis there's the shaft we all know what the shaft is yeah of course foreskin you know what that is glands is like your dick actual dick head yeah and the lips are called the meet us the meet us and it's spelled m e a t u s meet us meet us the meet us of your penis that's fire i don't come meet us interesting isn't that weird i never knew what the i just wait hold my whole life it's been pee hole yeah oh the pee holes that meet us yeah this is my meat

yeah look she's a meat i'm trying to like not get it on camera yeah it's good let's not get a flag to lose all this oh wow this dick sucks that's a grower not a shower penis i can relate a lot though so can i i fit both categories it doesn't make any sense damn meet us that's weird and it's also like meet us it's like it's like yeah like let's hang out it's meet us meet us right here meet us here yeah meet us at the spot if you're looking for me you can find me drop a pin meet us my fucking meet us is a drink yeah you ever get like a like a a scratchy meet us yeah for sure scratchy meet us i've had a scratchy meet us it's just crazy how much anatomy actually goes into our fucking balls dude i there's so much shit in our balls in our whole body though there's

a ton of stuff what's in our balls uh you want me to spongy urethra we have a spongy urethra inside of our penis wow and then we have an external utheral opening yo dicks are weird dude we have mad tubes in our cocks such tubey dicks yo you know what the craziest part is you can have two semenal vesicle yeah i feel like i love that he he reads it but he questions himself yo hold on hold on i think i was right right well you guys are semenal yeah i'm so i'm vesicle prostate gland what you guys are doing right now i don't want that thing swollen what you guys are doing right now i feel like is what girls used to do at sleepovers when they were like

let's google dick let's google pee pee and compare each other's yeah everyone bring a pick and i'll beg your bush what another thing this is actually maybe back in the 80s 70s i gotta trim mine down yeah in the 70s and 80s they were letting that bush grow how you doing how you doing right now i'm good now i'm winter coating i gotta get my shit done yeah you're winter coating too mine's that must if that the if that mustache is growing that downstairs mustache i don't think i've trimmed it in years and stop it swear your dick and ball you haven't shaped your dick in years yeah i need to see this now not as i'm shot i mean it won't return the cameras off i'm seeing it not as i'm shot geith i will hold you down and just look at that i don't want to assault you but

i kind of want to see it too i might it's not laziness it's just i know i have to buzz it and it makes sound and then it makes sound mom's gonna know what's going on what she's she's got three boys she knows they're trimming pubes she knows about me this realistically i'll probably do it tonight realistically when do you think is the last time you shaved your pubes wow keith we're talking we're talking years trimmed like at any no shave this definitely hasn't happened oh i haven't shaved trim trimmed like when you're 18 you think you're trying out for porn yeah and then after and then after you realize that that thing died a long time ago you're like all right fucking yeah never cut your dick shaving yeah of course it's it's so i probably

haven't trimmed it in like a good amount of i have one hair that grows on my shaft so i have to like pluck it out you pluck it dude i have probably the worst pain i have one chest hair that's it yeah that's like what you don't have any hair in your shaft like one i got hair in the shaft you gotta clean that up yeah i have like one one like gangster on that just needs like every three months i'm like mad brolic yeah ain't going anywhere what are we talking about oh man oh harry peaky honestly since you guys talked about those bacon i can cheeses i can't stop thinking about bacon egg and cheese i haven't had a bacon egg and cheese in like six months that's good for you though i have like i have like three times a week i think bacon egg and cheese

might be the greatest sandwich of all time maybe it's up there see but like what what can beat it it cures hangovers a mcgrittle that's what people i don't like them though no mcgrit just the word mcgrittle i could i could fucking come right here yo macros are ridiculous i think i don't like them i've lost my life do you know how they make them i've watched it how it's i don't care i've watched it how it made how it's made on the fucking inject them right no they don't it's fucking powder dude and as soon as it gets hot enough it melts wait explain to me it's got a low melting point the uh the syrup that that is in it it's like a little like uh like it's like a it's like a powder no no no it's like it's like a like picture uh like a smarty mm-hmm where it

starts as a powder but like they get it like that hard because of pressure but this one isn't as hard as a smarty it's like the only way i could really put it i still don't get it but i do you know a smarty and like they just put those like in batter so that they don't break apart and then from there that's where like they make everything and then once they're still good though keith yeah they are all right big question here big question big question big question here we go bacon egg and cheese on a roll or on a hero a roll roll you're a hero guy i'm a hero guy a big hero guy why he's into those big things big dogs gotta eat i don't know i like one of those if i had one on a hero i like it on a if i had one on a hero i was working at croissants fucking baller too

a fuck with croissants a butter croissant what do you get you get ketchup or hot sauce i get ketchup and hot sauce oh you can't be mixing it up yeah you can do you just put a little bit it's like double dip in a chip you ever get ketchup and mayo on a bacon egg and cheese mayo ketchup and mayo is good yeah dude mayo blows no mayo ketchup and mayo that can box it's like it's like it's like big mac sauce not dude i get like a bacon egg and cheese from like this place it's called like champs or some fucking shit no they sell clothes yeah sneakers i get sneakers and a sandwich i go into champs i get a windbreaker and it's bacon egg and cheese hey what's up you want to see the new jordan's now just take a bacon egg and cheese

uh catch up salt and pepper you get salt and pepper on yours yeah you get salt and pepper on yours so where'd you go you didn't go to champs no it's called champs all right so you went to dr j's you went to jimmy jazz all right i went to modell's and uh i get like this i get a bacon egg cheese what i get is uh two eggs extra bacon pepper jack cheese salt pepper hot sauce on a roll right that's what i get no ketchup no no the reason i get it there than like any other like delis that they have in like the surrounding area is because i don't know why but their eggs are just like good it's like is as if like they just took this right out of the chicken now they're fresh yeah it's ridiculous like the eggs are like wow maybe they got their own chickens back there and

they're just going in and grabbing them out does the egg come out of a chicken's ass i don't know vagina vagina juggling it the answer is vagina that's how things are born no no chickens don't have vaginas yeah i don't think they have vaginas how do they get pregnant huh chicken's have vaginas guys no my thing is how does a chicken create a shell in there oh i've actually i only reason i i know how this holy shit i've never thought about no the other reason yeah i know but the only reason i know of like somewhat of the process is because of this is this is fucking you grew up on a farm right now shut the fuck up is because of the magic school bus the magic school bus explains the inside of a a fucking chicken's vagina how the chicken

like how the egg forms in the chicken how does it happen it's ridiculous i need to know i can't like do i could barely explain to you yeah what my name is no what are you over there what are you looking at i just saw uh kind of made us smells like no hold on oh is this the egg was it always poops smells like run cigarettes it's no no no no i i could i googled do eggs come out of a chicken's butt and they do uh oh yeah so now there's no vaginas they have vaginas here's the thing the egg poop and urine which for a chicken isn't liquid wait what like chickens don't pee liquid where they pee exit out of the same hole

aka the vent as you can see above so it comes out of their asshole we were really uh well it's not an asshole we give no it's a vent we give ourselves really complex names and then the chickens it's because they have one that does everything i wish i had one that did everything i wish i could poop give birth and take a piss out of my ass yeah no way who wants to who gives birth chickens chickens why do you want to give birth i tell you what i'd rather give birth out of my ass because i think you're asking like can expand more now vaginas are giving birth vaginas dilate to 10 dude to 10 what centimeters no way is 10 the yeah is that the limit i don't that's how they know that the baby's like mean girls the limit doesn't exist like they get big i thought of mean girls the

limit doesn't exist yeah the thing that's weird you know c-sections fucking bug me out oh dude there's there's a ton of i mean again perfectly normal i've only saw this i only saw this video because we saw it in health class i'm not watching c-sections on my spare time yeah practicing how to do it yeah it's a good business opportunity fuck you just charge all the keys c-sections no like some sometimes sometimes there's like a complication with like key sections the thing that's crazy to me though is like sometimes there's a complication with the baby right it's still like developing yeah but they have to like go in there and like fix something on the baby so they do a c-section they go in now the baby's there yeah right it's still like developing and they're said there's

points where like surgeons are operating and the baby will its handle move and it'll grasp onto the surgeon's hand get me out of here and then what they'll sew her back up and let the baby keep growing yeah like y'all to me that's ridiculous i know i've heard of that because like sometimes like a baby's positioning needs to be like yeah moved through some shit yeah but they do that without going yeah like sometimes like the baby has like a fucking dude tumors i don't know how surgeons like don't have nightmares if i was in there working on some and a baby grabbed my hand i'd be like hit that thing shoot it shoot it you're not hesitate johnson the other thing is the other thing the surgeon actually just i don't know what happened i'd be terrified of like just like touches

him he's just like okay get it off the weirdest another only other thing that's we're than that is that doctors can look at that and be like oh yeah i can fix that that's what's crazy how did we start figuring that out how do you start figuring that out oh that baby's messed up yeah i got it don't worry about it yeah fuck it i got it it's fucking it's it's insane i think about that all the time it's it's wild all the time not all the time but she's like every hour of the day it's like i just yeah all of you sergeant yeah the schooling is just ox though like okay it's just well key since we haven't had you on for a long time i wrote down some questions so just the people out there could get you know caught up with you and caught up with your life so i'm

still trying to catch up yeah some of them are going to be like a little out there and then some of them are going to be like normal like right in your wheelhouse you know okay what's your biggest pet peeve pet peeve i mean i don't know probably being asked that question it's gotta be uh talking on the phone i don't like talking on the phone i can't do it i can't do it i get like anxiety but i get anxiety too my phone rings so i always think either something bad's happening like if i know i have to call someone i you hate it you don't want to do it and i and i won't it's like me in flights i'm like gotta get on a plane tomorrow i know i hate that i hate people that could fall asleep instantly do you envy it is that why you hate it or yes i envy it okay yeah all right next

question if you didn't have to sleep whatever okay what would you do with the extra time that you had i'd probably go insane the nightlife like what would you do there i don't know the world is so scary at like three a.m. yeah but it's only because no one else is out if everyone's out no there's people out and the reason why all the people aren't out is because those people are up i guess that's true freaks come out at night i'd probably get like a fucking like god what's it called a drug addiction if i didn't sleep you wouldn't be tired though no it's like you just don't need to sleep like you could do like you could twitch more i mean yeah i definitely would you would do you would do drugs all right what if you could take up any hobby right now what would you take up the drugs

no um a hobby i don't know or if you could just get some ability no no this is like any hobby any hobby any hobby i want to have like that hobby that that uh sultan has he just collects cars like it's all he does who's that sultan he's sultan in uh the middle east i forgot his name i have no idea who you're talking about there's probably 10 000 of them out there yeah there's probably a million sultans he's he's a billionaire damn same all right thing like i think there's a lot i'd love to just collect collect cars yeah clars clars you're struggling to i think i'm gonna collect bars if you could live in any fictional movie place where would you go spiral the dragons uh shit which is dropping soon by the way that's gonna be exciting on

playstation yeah dude spiral the dragon shit that's awesome i might live in like western world super mario too west world mario party too westworld's fire y'all but it's too real for me that's too real banging hoocies like what like when we were talking about it like i could definitely you could fuck a dragon inspire that's true you could fuck a jet a dragon i'm like princess prince i yeah we'd have really fucked up kids here's one when was the last time you climbed a tree wow last time i climbed a tree i feel like i climbed a tree like three years ago like during fireworks i might have mine has to be like four years ago because i haven't done anything athletic in three years since you fucked your leg operation i haven't i haven't ran since it happened i feel

like i've climbed a tree like drunk like to be funny yeah and everyone's like you do don't do that yeah watch this i'm sorry zan i'm gonna do it yeah that's a good question i like that right what is the most annoying habit that you have and that other people have that bothers you the most uh like what's one habit that you have that you wish you didn't have i get i get i get the question um i would try to curse last honestly you to be honest now you mentioned that i i say fuck so much i think if you i think when you curse so much you kind of sound dumb i know see that you see like going back to like when i had my youtube channel which i want to get back to at some point um oh when i would edit my videos like i have four

hours of footage and i'm just like i say fuck like every five to like seven seconds is it a lack of intelligence no so what it is is if it's if it's just regular conversation right where you're doing it which i don't think you have a merely a big of a problem as you think yeah i don't yeah you don't regular conversation if you do it and you curse a lot like that is where i think you look like an idiot but if you're doing it to try and add comedic value to something right which i think is what the video is like you're saying fuck and like whatever uh then it starts to be like it's not that it's unintelligent it's just that it's it's sort of hacky but don't you love though like when you go into a meeting and that that person curses first i'm always the one who curses first in

meetings are you yeah what do you say what do you say what's your go to curse yeah probably shit shit fuck's mine oh fuck is mine for sure no probably shit but like i'll i'll curse first are you shitting me and i even if i won't curse for the rest of the meeting but i'll say at first just to like kind of like set the tone of like i'm not about to sit here and be like how was your day very nice i'll take a fuji water fiji water fuji water wow you're trying to die i don't know you're drinking hot lava son if you weren't doing what you are doing now what job do you think you'd be really good at probably gaming well well that's i'm considering that like your thing like if you weren't so good

at gaming what would you do or something you think you'd actually be really good at i say accounting porn would you ever be in a porno like if someone was like y'all give you 20 grand to be in this porno and it's a straight porno not like gay for pay no i'm not saying i'm known but like people know me so i i wouldn't ever want to do it but what if you weren't what if you weren't if i wasn't let people know that did fuck up sign me up 20k would you ever do one no what kind of porn would you do no just like a regular one regular one you have sex with a girl and then i would love to be like a plumber yeah y'all like a tool chest yeah they get fucking paid the guys don't get paid the girls do yeah oh wait you're talking about in the porn you'd be a

plumber yeah oh i thought you were talking about being an actual fucking super guy over here yeah you could be an apprentice they make a lot of good money all right if you can live in any other country what other country would you live in remember there's languages yeah that's true i don't know probably great britain or some shit oh my god are you going to tell him or am i going to tell great britain kieth england you're gonna tell england you're fucked that's like seven countries great britain you know that right i'm an idiot what country would you live in i'd study at home i'd be my hobby now studying a globe the ussr so the union probably prussia what is the best day of the week

i'm never gonna recover from this now there you go what's your favorite day of the week friday all right friday i like saturday more no because you want to know why i have the rest of friday into saturday i like fridays you like fridays i like fridays because everyone likes friday so it makes everyone in a better mood and like everyone is down to go out okay all right yeah just like you were yesterday what's the most what's the most annoying thing people ask you are you joe senegal for me it's people asking me are you joe senegal that's yours right yeah because it's like if you have like i feel like you would you would know i feel like you could tell yeah you know you wouldn't

ask someone if you didn't think i hate when people do it to you though they know who you are already i hate when people were like do you do youtube and i go huh or like you remember when we would do the things around vine where do your best impression of yeah and you do that people would like come up to me and like say a random one to me as if i'm gonna fucking do it just perform yeah as if i'm like a monkey yeah in a circus just performing all the time yeah it's ridiculous god man these standards are crazy yeah how we doing on time we're at 110 right now all right cool all right i'm sorry i have two more questions uh three i have three all right all right what would you rate 10 out of 10 anything oh a 10 out of 10 anything jaylo all right y'all that picture fire yeah that she's

unbelievable dude yeah it's 10 out of 10 so now we're just going girls no no no no no anything anything in your life that you just is you consider it 10 out of 10 i'm like a car guy a car guy a car guy even though i never will drive a car which is weird but um you'll drive a car and we'll see i was actually i have that question probably like car wise probably a co-insect agar are i don't even know what the fuck that is would you say calin sick an arrow car ms andy agar co-insect agar are who makes it uh co-insect oh i don't know what that is it's a luxury okay no wonder it's like uh probably fucking three four million dollars all right okay oh yeah you'll never drive that and mine that dream and mine is pussy all right here we go the next one

mine is my meters yeah are there any quirks that you have what the fuck's that what do you mean like a quirk what quirks do you have are you do you consider yourself quirky if i have the definition all right well well well well well quirks do you have what'd you get this from teen magazine maybe you guys so guys so rude what's your favorite lip shade what's in your handbag right now pour it on the table what kind of palette to you wow magnum what what what is special about the place you grew up the neighborhood or the house it's just so anywhere it's just so dope i mean i had never lived anywhere else so i can't even like what was special about it

special about it is uh i don't know that we stayed really close as like a unit is like a family that's dope i like that answer i feel like also it also doesn't follow my next question very well at all but it's fine i was gonna say that uh you could in our neighborhood growing up it's like you got everything you needed like there was a part two parks within like walking distance walking distance like if you walked five blocks one way and five blocks the other way both had parks that way there's a bunch of delis lots of restaurants where we were going where we live right yeah uh and uh there was just everything you needed there's a rose bush right on the corner of our street yeah i'll never forget it there's a big greenhouse you'll never miss it

so there's two more the first one is if you had to fight joe or thomas and you're drunk which one would you rather fight i fought joe before and i beat him not boxing wise we were eight years old when this happened hey wins a win not when you bothered me when we were playing uh runescape what was that oh yeah we were mad young yeah he chased me out of the house and like pushed me into a concrete wall a concrete wall broke i shattered a concrete wall i shattered a concrete wall with his body yeah that's not that actually happened yeah with his body how old were you we were young we were uh 11 12 i wasn't i was in high school i was like 14 so then i had to i think i was 14 15 yeah that wasn't that long ago that's a w that's a that's literally a decade ago

that's a w though all right w though but the thing that's funny is right after i did that i didn't even feel bad i just like released all my anger i was fine i was like all right fine you can use the computer now yeah jesus how much fucking anger was in there you threw through a concrete wall yeah i was pure angry after that then jesus all right one more here we go so you feel safer with fighting joe yeah okay thomas is heavier right i'm so glad you said that i'm sending this clip to him uh shout out to him he's like more messy yeah he's going he's going his bmi is higher yeah way no no no i'm not saying he's fucking fat he's got he's girthy he's girthy he's harder to grab yeah more man he's an olympic fucking athlete what did joey do in that fucking caliber tell you

what strong and i'm sorry you're really going to play in basketball at the fucking park thomas is an olympic athlete like you don't want to fuck with people like that no he's right and the last question what age would you want to live to i want to like i'll go absolute max absolute max like what age do you think is the perfect age i'll go low 80s i'll i'll i'll say i'm i'm shooting for the stars though i think an absolute max i would go like like in 93 see i'm going low 80s but are you sick at all during that see but this is what probably this is probably you're 93 you're gonna be something well maybe i'm one of those old ladies from italy that smokes cigarettes and drinks wine every day and then

like what's the secret to life it's like i don't fucking know i'm drunk it's like i love the giants and they're like sending you to the super bowl because you're 93 yeah sleep better with a sausage in me i would want to like like early 80s yeah see see the reason i say that is because usually you're active till that point and then like that's like where you're going to be like at your real real low decline yeah because now you can't leave your house now you're fucking liability you're you're you're one fall away from just everything being done yeah one bruise away yeah from getting a blood clot you got the life alert you can't even get up the stairs i would say like 82 you gotta like tie yourself to the dog throw a treat up there to like get

up the fucking stairs because you can't afford the uh the thing that slowly brings you yeah yeah 82 you said 93 and you said like early 80s early i'm with you on that i'm with you on that 90 you're fucking pushing it dude and now the last question the real last question is where you see yourself five years from now you're in a ditch no well we'll be making it to 82 no he'll be in a ditch because he'll be asleep drunk do you have any short-term goals short-term goals i mean i'd really like to build out again i'm just fucking cross promoting the fuck out of myself hey man go for it uh is my whole life is the reason i'd like to do the streaming is because as you can tell from my phone and everything that's it that's like my outlet

for everything like uh like anxiety and all this other bullshit that's where it's fine for me the game playing games i don't have to be great at them but like that's where i've always done that do you like them do you like the mingling aspect of like with people in the chat or do you just like actually playing do you want to get to the point where it's big enough where you don't have to like not talk to the chat talking to people and all it's great obviously it's it's awesome because like you meet people and all this other stuff so that's great the only thing that sucks is like you like trying to play a game and then you gotta look at the other side and that you have to get used to that like that's so hard to get used to so it's therapeutic for you though yeah that's for

sure it's very cool but it's tiring as fuck no to try to stay animated for that long like i don't know how you my brother streamed for as long as you i don't know how the fuck y'all he streams late at night yeah he'll stream for 12 hours see yeah like 2 a.m to 8 a.m like dressed as prince i like i'm like dude dude i've done that i the longest i've streamed for was like 11 and a half hours holy fuck and so i don't mean to cut you up but i went to bed one time at like nine o'clock to him being like oh fucking shit and literally woke up to him live still being like oh this fucking game sucks yeah that was because i was drunk that was like eight hours later that was because i was that's because i was drunk streaming and you know when like you just drink

and then like you just forget like the time and you're a superhero now yeah and you're you just like in your head you're like wow i'm like talking great and whatever but you're not yeah i'm not even slurring yeah and then and then you look at it like the like at your sign off and you're like jeez that's cool yeah all right cool that was cool that was deep yeah i like that yeah anyway uh your twitch people can find you twitch.tv slash k santagato right because i couldn't get keys because a motherfucker stole it you gotta be able to get your name back eventually you'll be able to get it uh you guys can catch Keith on twitch um what is your other social medias it's keith sanagato oh everything else is keith i like how you whisper to keith sanagato

i misspelled all of that by the way yeah uh where can i find you danie at danie low priority on instagram and twitter and guys go follow the show on instagram at the baseman yard and go follow me on instagram as well at joe sanagato and that is all see you guys next time joe follow us right flip phones