The Basement Yard - #168 - Catching Online Predators

Episode Date: December 17, 2018

On this episode, Frankie is back to talk about online predators & Chris Hansen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard, Frankie, Danny, Joey, we're all back on the basement yard. You don't get the moan. We get the moan. Wait, what? What is that? No. Do you think you moan like weird?

Like I jokingly moan. No, no, no. I don't like seriously moan. But I feel like you don't know. Like I feel like if you left your iPhone recording and then you had sex, you could catch you making a weird noise at some point, like you'd be like, oh, I don't think so. I think so. I don't think so.

What's it? What do you think's the weirdest noise you make during sex? I don't know. Do you grunt? Are you grunter? Uh, fuck. There's a lot of that. There's a lot of fuck.

Yeah. You ever get like the confused fucks? Oh, fuck. You're like shock. Oh, fuck. You're always blown away. Oh, fuck. Yeah.

Oh, Jesus. It's a question. Fuck. How much talking is too much talking during sex? That's a great question. Let's not have a conversation. Like, let's just, let's just like, you know, let's just say, yeah, but if it's like, you like that baby and you're like, yeah, that is the most overused, like cliched, like no

one really says like, you fucking like that. You'd be surprised. Yeah. Really? Do you like that? Is like, I mean, for, at least for me, I'd be like, yeah, yeah. Like what? Why wouldn't I like that?

Unless I audibly said no. Like unless I'm like, ouch. Can you imagine someone's like, do you like that? And you're like, I'll be honest with you. I'm glad you asked. I'm not really enjoying this at all right now. I mean, I'm sure that's happened. I don't think so.

That's kind of, when have you had like, like, you know, this is really bad. Sex? Yeah. Oh, I thought you meant like actually have said it. Oh, no, no, no. Why you said that? Just like, hey, this is, listen, this is really bad sex. You know, we tried, we were trying to make it work, but it's not happening.

No. I mean, I feel bad saying it. I'm not, yeah, I'm not talking about that. I feel bad saying it. What? That it's been bad before? Of course it's been bad. There was one person where I, I mean, I made the joke for, you know, like comedy reasons,

but like, I was like, yo, I'd rather hook up with a dude. It was so bad. I thought you said it to them. Oh, no, no, no, no. I haven't spoken to them since. I feel you. I'd rather fuck a dude right now. Let's just do this.

Let's get this out of the way. This is really not working out. This is really not working out. No, it was for either of us here. I think do, do they have to know because here's the thing. Is it because of us that it's bad? Or is it because of that? I feel like, I feel like in that situation more responsibility on us.

Yeah. Definitely more on them. On us. 100% because we're, we're in the, we're in the driver's seat. Yeah. You know, we're moving this vehicle along. If it goes on the most part. Humping somebody for a prolonged period of time is not really easy though to be good at it.

No, it's not. It's not. It takes a lot of practice. Yeah. It takes a lot of practice. You hit prime humping status when you're like, like close to like 28, 29. At that point you're like, you're confident in your game. That's what I'm saying.

You're like, I've had enough under my belt to know what I'm doing. Yeah. Like making a girl finish with your penis is like, it's like, it's like golf. And then like that, like very hard, very hard. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like realistically, I think most of it's on us. Like if it's a bad sexual experience, it's probably on us.

Yeah. Why you'll say like pressure. Yo, she was a dead fucking fish. I'm like, yo, your dick is just trash. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh fuck. Trash ass dick.

What's up? What? When, how old do you think you'll be when you stop having sex? Never. Oh. No, obviously I'll have to, like, I don't think I'm making it past 35. I mean, I'm glad I'm getting to 26 and I've got here. But like the way my body's deteriorating, 35 is just a goal.

When is my dick going to stop working? Um, I think my dick will stop working when I'm like 67. All right. Or maybe all activity will stop. Like my wife will be like, okay, that's enough. Go to bed. I feel like you guys will have, I feel like I'll have a mutual understanding of like, we don't need to do this anymore.

What are we doing here? What are we doing? Yeah. You know, let's not pretend that this is the idea. The idea is they're having sex now. I don't, that's for them. Let them do it. The idea of old people fucking like freaks me out that I don't want to be that person.

You know what I mean? Like, No. What? Like the idea of old people having sex. Yeah. I'm just like, yo, no, like I can't, I can't be that person. I get what you're saying.

It's a little strange. I might go, I might be like a born again virgin, you know, once I hit like 40. Well, that's, You're going to give it up. Why not? Just like tell people you're a virgin. Yeah. Just, you know,

Who do you think is the oldest virgin in the world right now? If you had to put an age on it. Mike Pence. Not, not who like, like, like, like the number. Yeah. Oh, how old are they? Oh, I'm sure people have died. Is Mother Teresa still alive?

What about the Pope? Do the Pope's fuck? I feel like they have fucked before they know this Pope. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. This guy's the man. Yeah, he's fucked, but it doesn't like fuck.

This guy's like, this guy fucks for sure. What are you doing over here? I'll just fix myself. I'm popping a little bit. All right. I did it. I did it. You fucking turned it all the way down to zero.

I don't know. Mother Teresa still alive? She's been dead since like 1997. No, I really didn't know. I have no clue. You just asked if Mother Teresa was alive. Yeah. She was, she was probably the oldest virgin in 97.

Yeah. She didn't have sex. Isn't it weird calling people fathers? They're not your dad. Yeah. How are you father? Hi father. I've never, I don't think I've ever done that.

I haven't either. I don't, I just say like, I don't, first of all, I've interacted with a priest like twice in my life. Right. And it's been like, you know, don't put it in there. Long hugs. No. No.

I think I've just been like, Hey, how are you doing? Hey, thanks. You know, but like, how's it going? Keep them alive. Yeah. Keep them moving. How's the kid's wife? Never mind.

Don't answer that. Yeah. Keep your hands where I can see him. Yeah. Father, right? How's the rectory? That's great. How's the rectum too?

You know what I was just thinking about the other day in church? How they have like the glass of wine or whatever. And when people drink from it, they just take a napkin and they go, they just like wipe the rim. And it's like, it's gone. Nope. It's not there. It's still there.

So I used to try. I, my sister used to bring me to church because I lived right across the street from it. And all I cared about was eating that fucking bread, the little host, the host, uh, and not drinking the wine. I didn't care about anything else. And it's so funny because like up until like a few years ago, when we'd go to churches for like funeral or masses or whatever, we would not be able to stand up because we were born in baptized Orthodox.

So like, I'd be like, fuck, like I felt left out. I want that fucking bread. There's, there is a sense of being left out, but it's only when you're there, like anywhere else you don't get. Yeah. I don't give a fuck. No, I'm not thinking about that shit for like breads. Well, that's why we were saying, like they seclude you too, if you're not, you're like,

oh, walk up here with your hands crossed and I'll just give you one of these. Yeah. That's what's matter. I got a cramp in my hand strength. Oh, bad timing. Oh, whoa. You ever caught it? You ever caught a cramp during sex?

Oh my God. You're right. You're asking me a question right now. I'm getting a, yo, holy shit. I'm trying to straighten my leg up. I'm trying to write this hat. I'm trying to straighten my leg up. I'm trying to write this hat.

I'm like, oh my God. Stretch it out. Put your leg up here. I don't think. You get on the table. I'll stretch you out. Yeah. I'm not getting on the fucking table.

I'll stretch you out. It'll go away. Yeah. Can you stop saying that and looking at me in the eyes? I'll stretch you out. Okay. Thank you. God, dammit.

All right. I think I have it somewhat under control. I'm going to keep rubbing it. What were we talking about? The oldest version. And do you think you need to have sex to have a complete life? Yeah. At least once.

Yeah. Sex is sick. I think you need to have sex to like fully experience life. You don't understand. I don't. I mean, I don't know. It's one of those things like you don't know what you're missing out on. You don't know unless you experience it.

You know how they say like, oh, you don't understand happiness unless you felt sadness. You don't understand limp dick until you've had a hard dick. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, they still get hard dicks, right? Yeah. They still get hard dicks. Yeah.

They still get those. That's confusing. You can still get a boner and not have sex. Fuck. What world are you living in? No, but I think a part of it is like, it's like your birthright to have a little sex. Well, it's literally what we're bred to do. That's what I'm saying.

It's literally in our genes and our nature. It's in my genes. Do you think you can live a complete full life without ever having sex? Ever again? Yes. Seriously. Yes. Come on.

The fact that it's taking you too long to answer already knows bullshit. That's probably bullshit. You don't have any kids. I mean, think of it from that perspective alone. What? Yeah. That's what I, the first thing came to my mind was kids. I could, I could wrap it up.

Yo, you know how cool it must be to have a kid and you're like, yo, I gotta just like, like if I do the right thing, this kid's going to be awesome. Yo, that's terrifying. He's going to make money one day and like, be successful hopefully and not do a bunch of blow. Who? A little bit of blow. Honestly, who between the three of us is the closest to having a kid first?

Probably me. You. Really? Yeah. You think me? Yes. You think you? Yeah.

I would say, I would say him. Probably me. I would say Danny. Just age wise. Yeah. Tuesday. People would believe you do. I know.

I'm 30 January 30th though, actually. Oh, 130 on 130. 30 for 30. 30 for 30. We have to make a documentary on that. Yeah, we're probably going to have to do that. Yeah, that's fine. 30 for 30 called 30 for 30.

I think my first kid's going to be a girl and I'd rather have that. You going to let her fuck or no? Let my daughter fuck. Yeah. As soon as she's born. Not as soon. No, I went to a year or two. No.

You're going to be comfortable with your kids having sex? Ideally. Yeah. College. All right. But ideally college because it's like you're like on your own now. I don't have to worry about some guy coming over and like thrashing you. My brother talked about his unborn daughter in the worst way.

He was like, yo, if I have a daughter, she's going to be a fucking gutter slut. I'm like, yo, what's wrong with you? I'm like, yo, I'm just letting you know. Like, you need to know how to work in this world. I'm like, what? Okay. So your brother's fucking stupid. Yeah.

Well, we know that. Also might need some therapy too. Yeah. Something happened to him. Yeah. But no, like I would say maybe realistically 16, I guess. I mean, I just, this is my thing. Like, first of all, they say that like for guys that were kind of like douchebags in

their life to girls, like they always have a girl first because it's like instant karma. And my big thing is just like, I hope I just like lead them down the right path. If I have a girl where they can like confidently make that decision themselves. You know what I mean? Like who am I to tell them when they can explore their body? Like, you know, that's the thing though too. It's like, like when you have a kid though, it's like, you have to take care of them, right?

You have to raise them the right way, but you're still going to like have like your sexual fucking tendencies as well. Oh yeah. I'm going to be banging my wife. That's what I'm saying, which is weird to like, you're still going to be a sexual being. Yeah. That fucks me up because then I'm like, yo, I had parents and I was a kid.

Yeah. I mean, my parents didn't. That's a whole other story, but you know what I mean? Like, it's just going to be weird to like tell somebody like that I know went through what I went through to like not have sex. It's going to turn into like, yo, I'm so attracted to my girlfriend to be like, yo, I'm so attracted to your fucking mom. You know what I mean?

Like that's kind of crazy. Like, yeah, that's a mom now. Yeah. Isn't that weird? I think it makes women hotter to be honest. Yeah. I love it. That they're like, I think, yeah, because like, I don't know which comedian said it.

I think, I think it was, it's actually bad reference. Lucy K. But he was like, he was like, you're not a woman until you have kids. Yeah. That's a woman. That's a woman. See me jerk off. Yeah.

Or I trap you in a room and make you watch me masturbate. But like, I don't know. I think there's something very sexual about a woman that's given birth to a child. Well, I don't know about the whole process of it actually coming out. No, no, no, the after. But like, well, I'll tell you this after and Joey's going to think I'm bullshitting on this, but a hundred percent like one of like the biggest things that I like really care about Becca is like, I see how she is as a mother.

Yeah. I hope like that's like, if I have kids, I know she's going to be bullshit. Because normally when I say something, she's just, he's just saying that. But no, no, seriously, like one of the biggest turn ons about her and that I really appreciate what threw me onto the bus. Yeah. Joey's going to hate this, but I love my girlfriend. Joey's going to hate this, but I love how good my girlfriend is with her child.

It's funny because she's like, oh yeah. She sucks. She's going to listen to this. She's going to be like, why would Joey hate that? I know. What did you say that would make him hate that? I'm like, what the fuck? No.

She's a mom takes care of her kid. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, great. Yeah. Bullshit. All right. Yeah, she does it.

No, but that that that it really does make sense. It's attractive. It is very attractive because we're getting a point in our life where like, yeah, you find that's going to have to be something. Exactly. You find people hot for what they look like, the way they treat you. But like then like the way that they treat people around them. It's a big turn on.

But it's also like you get to sneak around a little bit again. Yeah. Because it's like, you know, we got a fuck. That's what I'm saying. I know. I always think about that. You got to sneak around. So maybe that's like a little like.

Yes. Like it's like right after dinner, you like give her a look and like, you like you touch feet under the table and you go into the garage behind the fucking old Christmas decorations and you fuck. Yeah. Then you get back to the kids. Hey, did you do your homework up there? Did you?

Are you doing your homework? They're doing their homework. We're the kids. That's going to be. I've got to hear one. Keep going. I'm almost there. I'm about to come.

I'm not going to, you know, delve into my own experiences, but I can tell you it is exhilarating. I'm not going to delve. I'm not going to delve in, but it's awesome. Did you know that I thought the word delve was 12 up until I was about like. It's all right. We're almost 22 years old. You want to hear something bad? I thought it was get on all floors.

Yeah. I was just going to get on all floors. That kind of makes sense. Yeah. It's get on all floors. Get on all fours. It doesn't make sense. Yes, it does.

No, because you're on four. No, but it's four. It's literally six points though. What? What? Technically sure. If you're counting these as two points and your toes. Four.

There'd be eight. Like I can't do it here, but like get on the table. This would be all fours. Yes. This. There's six. One, two, three. Danny is doggy style right now.

I just want everyone to know that. See, I don't even think that's all fours. When I say all fours, I think four arms too. Like plank? Yeah. Yeah. Arch that back too, bitch. Hey.

Yeah. Yeah. Danny's on the floor guys. No, I'm just saying all fours, I agree with you. It's not right. Fours would be multiple. I thought I just, that's the way I knew it. So I, when I heard yours, I was like.

Oh, speaking of multiples. Speaking of multiples. Do you have your phone on you? Yeah. Take it out. Take it out. Take it out. Take it out.

Okay. Mine too? Yeah. Okay. What's up? All right. It's funny that you said that. What?

Both of you pick a number. Any number you want. Is it going to be one of these fucking things? It's like you both got 10. It's 13. Yeah. I'm going to show you. Yeah.

Okay, go ahead. Go to it. Pick any number you want. Any number? Any number. Like any number in the world. Yeah. But like, don't be like ridiculous and like break your

fucking number. Okay. All right. Times it by two. Okay. All right. Add 12. Yeah.

All right. Now divide it by two. Yeah. All right. Where are you at now? You're at there, right? Now minus by its original number. Okay.

What do you have? What do you got? 25. Six. Six. Oh my God. I can't get it wrong. I did the fucking.

No. It's supposed to equal six. He did it right. I got 25. Well, it makes sense. I saw him over here. I was like, this is bad. Like that.

Where are you? Okay. Divide it by two. No. That makes sense though. Because if you take a number, you add 12. You multiply. Well, you multiply.

You multiply by two. You add 12. Divide it by two. Now you've just added 12. No. You added six to the original number. You just added 12. Yeah.

That's right. You're not going to blow my mind. I'm not four years old, okay? Yeah. I think it's pretty cool. Oh, fucking numbers. No. Oh.

You know my numbers? I love numbers. I'm a numbers guy. So you have to sneak blow traps? Come on. Put your favorite. What are you doing? This guy.

What's wrong with you? Oh my God, Danny. Oh, man. Oh, fuck. Anyway, something. Children. Something. Something I wanted to talk about.

So there was a dude. I don't know where the fuck he's from, but he was 69 years old and then wanted to try to legally. Yeah, dude. Sex. Double oral. So this guy was 69 years old and wanted to legally change his age to 49 so that he could look better on Tinder.

Why don't you do that? Why not lie? Why not just fucking lie? Also, if you could legally change your age, what would be the point of age? If you could just change it? Well, you're going to look a certain way. You're not going to. He's not going to look like a.

Well, he might look like a really, you know, weathered 49 year old, but he looks 69. The guy looks 69. Does he? Yeah. He's doing this just so he could be 69 again. That's what he's doing. And you think about it in 20 years, when he's 69, he'll be fucking 89. I don't really care if he does that.

None of that affects me. None of that affects me. Like if you want to be 49, go ahead and be 49, but you're not getting fucking social security. Yeah, no, you're paying full price on that fucking bus. Yep. You're fucking. I'm not giving up.

I'm not giving up. I'm not giving up. I'm not giving up. I'm not giving up. You're paying full price on that fucking bus. Yep. You're fucking. I'm not giving up my seat.

You're not skipping the line. I'm not giving up my seat. The handicap pass is coming back. All that shit. Yeah. As I'm going to like give them my seat. Legally, what age are you? Yeah.

49. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. You're 49? Get out of here. That's a dumbish. Honestly, that's the most 2018 shit I've ever fucking heard. I want to change my age.

I identify as a 49 year old. Look my, look my fucking balls. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah. That's hot. I'm sorry. Yeah.

This guy loves age. It's just also like, age is fucking stupid. If you really think about it, it's just weird. It's just weird that at one point you could be 18 and drink, now it's 21. I know like. Well, I think that that doesn't have to do with the age. It has to do with the laws around the age. Well, that has to do with the age.

No, that doesn't have to do with age itself. When you said like age is stupid, I'm like, yo, this kid going to go off. I'm like a fucking rant at how like time is stupid. No. No. That's why when you're like, here we go. No, no, no. Let's see this.

Like who, a bunch of people got in a room and decided, alright, 18, you could drink at 18. And then everyone got into another meeting and then just said, oh, you know what? Let's do 21. Who are these people that are doing that? What age do you think you should be able to drink? 16. Whoa. Yeah.

I don't think other countries they drink. Yeah. I don't think the culture in America that would be good at 16. I think if you could dive your country at 18, you could have a beer at 18. Well, like let's just change all the ages. Forget about that stuff. That can't be your answer. It has to be like, what age do you think, what age do you think you are responsible enough

to be like, alright, I could drink and I'm not going to be a fucking idiot. Not yet. Yeah. I still got some time. Yeah. There's people that are 40 years old. I can't fucking do it. I still got some time.

Well, some people have like alcoholism. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking. No, I'm just talking about like some people just get like. Shitty. Yeah. Get shitty. They're not alcoholics, but like they get drunk at the Christmas party.

I would say honestly. Honestly. Honestly though, I would say, I would say 18 is too young. 21 is too old. I would say like 20. I would also make turning 20 better. Yeah. That's the worst age on earth you could be.

Yeah. A year. I'd be down for 20 because you're not a teen. Like 19. Yeah. Maybe right outside of the teens. Boom. Yeah.

I agree. Like 21, when you get there, you're so fucking, it's like, you know, holding on to your fucking nut the whole time and then you just explode. You know what I mean? That first year of being 21 is insane. Oh, I feel differently. I feel like when I turned 21, I was like, yeah, I was like, now I just don't have anxiety about getting into this place.

Yeah. Because like we would still go out. You feel more comfort, but like it's just like, oh, I can, I can do this now. You know what I mean? Like I don't need to worry about a fake or if I, you know, you can just go and do it. I was just like 16 though, too. It would also add like a lot of like kids are driving and shit. That would probably cause a lot of problems as well.

Yeah. That would be that. That's the biggest issue is like. You're 16, dude. No, 16 is too young. You're in high school. You're a fucking idiot. Well, when it comes to drinking in Italy at 16, remember when you drank in high school,

you would, you would try like, there was like, like, let's drink out of a shoe. It's like, what? But I agree. America. America. That's the college like life now. Well, I'm just saying, like it's like you try anything. Let's shotgun.

Let's put a fucking raw egg in this fucking keystone light and shock on it. I found a squirrel. Let's pour beer down its back into my mouth and have sex with it and have sex with the squirrel. No. Yeah. It's fucking insane. But like.

I'm just looking up the drinking age in Italy. So it's, it is 16. Yeah. But like four year old drink wine in Italy. So why can they be 16 and drink? It's a very, but it's a very different culture over there. I had a really good friend that grew up in the Virgin Islands and he said, when he came here, he's like, I understand why the drinking age is older over here because it's a different

culture. Like, it's like, it's, it's a necessity over here for people. Like there's more alcoholism in the United States than the Virgin Islands from what I was told. And he said, like, yo, over here, it's like it's, it's tied to a completely different lifestyle than it is over there. Yeah. But like the Virgin Islands is this big.

Yeah. But not only that, but like in Italy, for instance, people drink wine and they do like that shit for like dinner. Well, they consider it food. Well, they also did, they didn't make it like this. I feel like it's one of those things where it's like your parents tell you, you can't do this. So you can make sure you want to do it.

Yeah. And that's what drinking is for kids. It's so cool. When you have like your first beer, you're like, yeah, I'm about to crush this dude. You feel awesome. You should drink in parks. What are we doing? What are we doing?

What are we doing? Homeless. Good old days. Good old days drinking in the park. I think. Honestly, I think underage drinking was more fun than, oh, eight years. Yeah. Drinking after, once you become legal to drink, you're just, you're just on your way to be

announced. 22 is cool. 23. I was like, this sucks. This is the thing. When you were underage and you were underage drinking, it was mostly like fucking house parties. Like I would, I would pick honestly a house party over a bar, definitely over a club.

Any day. House parties are great. House parties were so fun. And there was always that fucking exhilaration. Like, fuck, I shouldn't be. I remember I used to walk, you would fucking backpacked and just like looking over your shoulder and shit. That was fun.

Yeah. And then you get to the house and it's like, oh my God, beer pong, there's drunk chicks on top of the fucking island in the kitchen. Someone's getting blown upstairs. And there's always a buildup. It's like, yo, does he have the open crib? Oh, it's going to be awesome. I got the free one.

How are you going to get this beer? I got the open one. Come through. Yo, cops are outside. Jump out of back window. We also grew up in an area where it was, it was pretty easy. And I'm sure this might have been the same for you. It was pretty easy to get our hands on alcohol if we wanted.

Yeah. Yes. Like, and, and I mean like from an early age, like 14 on. Yeah. I started drinking at 13. Yeah. So I think a first time I got drunk, it was, we were young. I think it was like 14.

Yeah. Yeah. But then I didn't drink for like two years or something. I used to go with my sister when, when our sisters went away to school, I used to go spend weekends there. And my sister, you know, she used to give me SoCo and Sprite and it was fucking garbage. Getting fucked up though. Oh my God.

It was garbage. And then we'd play beer pong. How old were you? If my sister's four years older than me and she was 18, so I was, I was 14. Giving you SoCo? That is, that is irresponsible. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That is irresponsible. Like, I'd be like, dude, you just get a fucking Sprint or something. But you know what though? I've always smeared off ice. Yeah. I've never like been like a sloppy drunk. Like I never gets, I've never been sick.

I've been sick once. Can you vouch for this? I've seen him be. I've, you've seen me be real drunk, but I'm not, no one has ever needed to take care of me. Um, I mean, there was a one time where you needed some, some care. The only time I've ever been sick. Right.

He threw up. Can we talk? Can we talk? Yeah. Let's talk about it. We were at Ampey's house. December 26, 2008. Right.

20. Who's, who's 20? It was 2008. No one knew it was 21. I thought it was Ampey's birthday. No. You guys were like 11. No, no, no.

We were 16. What? We were 16. December 26, 2008. I think it was 18. Listen to me. December 26, 2008. I remember the day.

It was the last time I've thrown up and the only time in my life I've thrown up from alcohol. I'm telling you. Which I doubt too though. No, I threw up a lot. So this is like macaroni and cheese. We had had like a massive, you weren't there for it, but we had like a massive like fucking date.

It was like me and, and Justin and like the girl he was seeing, Dennis and the girl he was seeing, Nick and Mr. Legal and, and like a bunch of us went to Manhattan. That's the part that really does it is because no one knows what you're talking about. And that's how I remember. And I remember because I went and bought new shoes that day was the day after Christmas. We went to Ampey's house. He had the free one. The free one.

They had Espo threw up behind his TV. The people. No, the people that threw up that day were me and DeVino, DeVino, DeVino. We were drinking screwdrivers. Disgusting. Gray grooves. And I remember at a certain point in the night, we drank granted, we drank a lot. And that's why I don't drink vodka.

But at a certain point in the night, a friend of ours who will remain nameless, put hand lotion in the liquor because she wanted people to stop drinking. We didn't know this. So DeVino and I kept drinking and I was in the stairwell of this kid's apartment building and I yacked everywhere bad. And then I went on to the balcony and you act everywhere and it was cold. So it froze. I remember Frankie being out and like sitting in a chair with like a Russian hat on.

I had a jacket all over him. Yeah. And he's like, I threw up like, I know, I know, dude, right there. Disgusting. Wait. Yeah. Hand lotion. In alcohol.

Yeah. I think it was Fetka. What a fucking idiot. Who did that? I know. I'm not going to call him out. Still friends with her. Still very good friends with her.

What is wrong with her? Oh, this is great. It kills somebody like that. Not kill somebody. Make him throw up. And this was the person that also ended up. What if he went home and fucking fell asleep and throw up because he had a hand lotion? She took care.

She's the one that took care. Yeah. Is she better? I was fucking killed you. Relax, Mom. And you're sitting right there. Let me put hand lotion inside you. It's not my time.

Like ever. Let me put hand lotion inside you. I've never been sick again because I hated that feeling so much, so like I've been able to compose myself in the most part. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I just, you know, I drink beer for the most part and I've never thrown from

beer and I don't really get like hammer drunk from beer. Soft. But if I drink like vodka all night, like it'll get me. Because I like, I've been so accustomed to drinking beer a certain way. Like I can consume a lot of beer and be fine. So that when it's mixed drinks, I'm like, oh, I'm just fucking. And then eventually it's like, oh no, I can't see. Yo beer hits you like a ton of bricks.

And I've blacked out from IPAs. Dirt wolf. Dirt wolf, that was bad. You know, we knocked out hard. I was legitimately scared. That was like the first time in my life that I legitimately blacked out and did not remember anything. Yeah.

It was, that was, that was. That's this terrifying feeling of blacking out and not knowing what happened. There was a, there's a video on the YouTube channel, youtube.com slash Sanagato Studios, which I rebranded by the way, the vlog channel. And it's called like the end of a chapter or something. It was the last thing I did with this company. It was like when they were filming the podcast. Full screen.

Yeah. And Frankie and I went to the store and we bought dirt wolves and they were like high percentage alcohol, like whatever the fuck. And we were like, we didn't really know. And then we had a bunch of them. I was vlogging like at the end of it and I, we woke up at like 3am and it was a Wednesday. Yeah. And I was like, I was like, yo, I don't know how I got here.

Like whatever, all the stuff was gone. The guys were gone. It's 3am. And then the next day I remember I was looking through my camera. There was a bunch of footage that I had my camera. I was talking to it. I was talking to people. I'm visibly drunk and I don't remember any of it.

And I texted them and I was like, yo, what happened? And he's like, yo, you guys were like fucking drunk as hell. And then you both laid down and then we just left. Well, that was the night I got, I woke up to three tickets on my car, $360 parking tickets on my car. Yeah. It was a good time. But yeah, like none of our friends, let me, let me, no one definitely between me and you.

We really haven't gotten to the point where people needed to like take care of us, take care of us. And like I said, the one time I got, every time I go to Vegas, I need someone to take care of me. I need a spotter. Yeah. Yes, you do. Yeah.

Rightfully, rightfully so. It's Vegas. No, I, I, I kid you not. I thought he was gone forever. Like I thought I would never see him again. That bad. Huh? Yo, we left daylight.

No, no, no, no, no, daylight was the night. It was wet Republic. It was wet Republic. Daylight was when I had to be shut down. Yeah. Frankie needed to be arrested. We left wet Republic. Yo, I've never seen this kid that drunk in my whole life.

I left all my stuff there. He had, yo, everything he had. I walked out without my shirt. Every, well, no one had a shirt at that point. I had no shirt or flip flops. It was all stolen. Oh God. Yo, this kid and then, you know, just people come up to him and recognize him and I stopped.

I'm black. Yo, black. Like when I say the lights are on and no one's home, you can, you can see the, the whole in his, like where his brain was. He was, there was nobody there. I turn around in the casino or walk through the MGM. I turn around to talk to someone random guy about nothing and I turn back and he's gone. Oh, that's bad.

And yo, I'm sprinting through the MGM. Then like I went through New York, New York and like the rest of the way and I was, I couldn't find him. So I just sat in front of his room and I was like, yo, this kid's dead. There's no doubt. And then I have the videos of when he showed up. Yeah. It was really bad.

And I'll tell you this right now. If you put me in this state, completely stone cold sober at wet Republic and got all the way back to my room that was in Luxor, I believe we were staying here. You guys are in the Luxor time. Yeah. I wouldn't be able to do it right now. I have no idea how to get there. Right.

Right. How I got back to that fucking place is beyond me. You'll never know. I will never know. And then I showed up and he was sitting there. He's like, yo. I was like, what? And my feet were destroyed because I was running through the Vegas pavement.

I'm also pretty confident I was barefoot. We were because they took all of our shit. Yeah. We went with flip flops. You stole your stuff. No. You put it on the side. No.

My stuff was there, but I left it in the locker. Yeah. I didn't know where anyone was. Yeah. And you're not going to know where the locker is. I'll never, I'll never forget that. And then I, I'll show you one day, I'll show you the videos of him. I have him on my computer.

He's like, yo, it's so long. We're too drunk. Yeah. Like, yo, you need, you need food or something. And he's like, all right, order root service, uh, chicken tenders with ketchup. Just a case. Yo, it was awful. Oh my God.

I hate that. You got drunk after the garden that night. Pretty bad. What was that? After the garden? How was that? After UFC? When we went out?

Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We walked outside together. You're like, didn't even say goodbye to me. That's a Joey, that's a Joey staple. It's gone. Just got in a cab.

Didn't care how much. The cab probably must have been like 80 bucks. What? Surcharges on Uber. Everything. It was a yellow cab. It was a yellow cab. Still worse.

It was like 5 a.m. Whoo. It was a good time. Oh yeah. It was fantastic. I've never seen you drunk. I don't think I've even ever seen you have a drink. Yeah, you have.

No, I haven't. I have a video on my Instagram of us three drinking in the winter singing Kasey and JoJo. No, because you weren't drinking at that point. No, he was. I was. I was. I would say the first.

You don't remember? I had more singing. And then I was like, yo, we're just going to sleep here because it's going to snow like crazy. So we just got a bunch of IPAs. Yeah, I got hammered. And then I walked to the deli and got all that. We need to have a night where we rage together.

Those days are over. Those days are over. My days are over too. Diabetic damn. I don't drink anymore, man. You're done forever for a long, long, long, long time. Maybe he's like, no, because here's the I don't want to get married and I invite you to my wedding.

Will you have a drink? I will have a drink. A lot of them. No. I know. But here's the thing. It's it's not to go on like a whole diet tribe, but like I had some issues with alcohol. Like it was because it was like, oh, the Jets are playing the Falcons.

I don't like either of those teams. I'm going to drink a six pack. I've been like, oh, the Pelicans are playing the Houston Rockets. Let's get that. Let's have a couple long. You know, literally we're sitting like in the office, like editing stuff and we're just talking about it or whatever. I was like, how often he's like, no, I think I drink a lot because I was like, I think

I drink a lot. And I'm talking like maybe like twice a week was like what I was talking about. I was like, how many times do you drink? And he's like, I don't know, like four or five times a week. I was like, what? I was like, what do you mean? I was like, I'm like a Wednesday when you're watching the game, like how many beers you drink?

He's like, oh, no, like five, six. I was like, dude, that's a legitimate like drink, yeah, like that you had, like I still have days where I'll just have like one beer, like an IPA, I'll just like, I'll just have this and that's it. He would have those IPAs like stocked up in that fridge. I could put away six of those and like I'll fucking drive a fucking bus backwards. That's how big my that's how bad like my tolerance was at that time. I was drinking so much.

And then it's just, you know, I had a little bit of a drink problem. There are points in my life where I drink a lot too. There are points during like grad school where it was like Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday I drank every week, except for like one week of the like month because I had work. Still have school attached to you though. Like if you have school attached to you, you can drink. It was an excuse. Yeah, it was.

I hear you. But all right. So then so that's why that's either we have some sparkling cider. I will have I will have a champagne. No, that's that I could do. What about some eggnog? Absolutely. I will fucking crush eggnog.

He likes eggnog. You don't allow. Okay. I mean, it's it's jizzy Christmas. Yo, I will. I will throttle that bottle. Take it home. I'm not taking it home.

All right. Maybe I'll take it home. Take it home. It's not going to stay here. Definitely not going to get drank here. You get get drank here. Get drunk. I feel like you and I haven't gotten drunk together in a long time too.

Yeah. I was looking for our Christmas party, but that got changed. Oh, got canceled. Our Christmas party last year was dope. You and I crushed. Remember, we, we, I think that was like legitimately the last time we really drank together. We didn't drink in like Connecticut this summer. Yeah.

Well, no, I couldn't. That's right. I couldn't. Because of my health. I mean, I mean, I definitely try for your health. Yeah. You think you'll ever stop drinking? Yeah.

I do it all the time. I've slowed down a lot. I don't really drink like that anymore. Like I have more of appreciation for beer. So it's not like, like when I was like 1920, like just thinking about it. We go to Connecticut and I would crush like 20 beers. Yeah. Like in a night.

It'd just be like, all right. We would need to, we would literally, we'd go through, if we were there for Memorial Day weekend, we'd go through like, oh, like, yeah, I have 36 racks each. Wow. Yeah. Like it was, it was. See, I never got out of like that cool. I never went into a cool down phase.

I just kept it going. Yeah. So that's why like I was drinking five days a week, probably a six pack a day. Wow. Yeah. So I legitimately, I had a problem. All right. You identified it and, you know, moving forward with rectifying the, yeah, yeah, it sucks.

Now I got to address all my feelings. You know, you got to do that. Now you got to, you know, I can't bury into the depths of my soul anymore, but it's fine. Bear that into your ass. No, no, no. I wish. Crush some Shirley temples at the wedding. Oh yeah.

How good are those? Yo, Shirley temples. Yo, when I was 13, I'll take Grenadine straight. That stuff is amazing. Yo, first of all, what an unhealthy concoction. Yeah. Sugar. We're going to put more sugar in the sugar and a cherry that's been soaked in sugar.

Yes. Here you go, kids. I used to drink like 40 of them. I used to crush those back. I used to eat these cherries that were soaked in moonshine. Oh yeah. We've had those. Talk about get you fucked up.

Talk about absolutely fucking disgusting. Yo, I'm amazing. Cherries on their own. I could do without them for the rest of time. Cherries suck. Asshole. You're stupid. I'm going to go on the record though, too.

I don't like cherries. Anything with a pit in it, I'm not a fan of. Fuck off. Both of you. What do you like with pits? Olives. Gross. Olives.

Cherries. How many times do you say cherry? Cherries. Peaches. Peaches are good. Peaches are one I will give. Yes. Nectarines.

Ah, damn. Avocados. Plums. Avocados. Get the fuck out of here. Avocados are amazing. Take your plum and get the fuck down. Fuck you with your pretentious fucking.

Don't do this. Don't do this. I'm pretentious. You had frozen canned vegetables. I said fucking done. That destroys your credibility in terms of ranking or discussing food. That is not true. I didn't want to bring this up on the podcast, but I will bring it now.

Because it is the linchpin. Get those fucking canned. Maybe they'll fall out in a week. All right, so here's what happened, people. Oh my God, there's still stuff for us. I had a lapse of judgment, all right? And I put canned and mixed vegetables in my freezer. Not just one.

Two. Two of them. All right, well, you got to get two. Some fucking ice coming off of there. I don't want to stay in your table. Yeah, please don't. These things are going to explode, though, if they stay out much longer. That's fine.

No, they're garbage now. I deserve that. Should I throw them in the garbage? Yeah. They're garbage now. That was so funny. They're very preserved. I will save them for doomsday.

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I could use them as like telephones. Do you remember those things? I never tried that. Did that work? I don't know. I don't know. String phones? The little kids.

String phones? I never did it. It was a very, it was a very like 80s thing. Walkie talkies? Were you guys walkie talkies? Mom, I love walkie talkies. There was nothing cooler than a walkie talkie. Not phones or walkie talkies, but imagine.

Yo, you're like that. Yeah. I'm in the bush. What channel are you going to be on? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Four. That show was awesome.

It was always channel three. Yeah. I loved walkie talkies. Speaking of channel three, do you remember that when your TV is like, maybe it's not on channel three? Yeah. You could still do that. What is that?

I'm sure you could. So like the TV has a channel and the cable has channels. You got to put it on channel three. So like you can, like I remember when I was in college, there was like a cable that went straight, like straight into my TV and that was the channel listing for what I could watch. There was no cable box or anything. That light just scared the shit out of me. It does from time to time.

But that was the base channel for all of your other channels to work. You guys had illegal cable boxes, right? Oh yeah. Hell yeah. My grandpa did. That's Spice Channel. 65. The black box.

65. I used to get to watch wrestling and shit. Like my grandfather would be like, oh, come on, my God, fucking WrestleMania 13's on. How are they illegal? Like you weren't, I think it was like a one time review. Yeah. It was like a one time purchase and then you can get all these channels. Yeah.

But like how cable guys used to come and now it's not like everything is internet now. So you can't get a legal cable anymore. It's just a pop. I mean you can. Yeah, but you have to go through the internet to do it. You can't do it. Do it. No, you could also run.

You could steal someone else's cable. Yeah. But that's not what I'm talking about. What I'm saying is a guy would come and install your cable and you would have to like work this guy over to program the thing and slip him extra money so he would give you every channel. Yeah. That's fucking dope.

So we're talking Spice Channel. Spice Channel was, by the way, and yo, that was hard. That was hard. Our porn too. Yes. It was hairy. It was hairy. It was hairy hard.

Our porn. Yo, we grew up on Bush. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Not George Bush. Bush might be back. Well, him too. Well, we grew up on George Bush as well.

Yeah, we did. But I'm talking Vaj Bush. Is Bush back? I don't know. I feel like Bush for the hardcore vagina lovers never went anywhere. I would consider myself a hardcore vagina lover, but I wasn't really, I didn't, you know. But it went away.

I was like, no Bush. I mean, I'm not going to sit here and be like, oh, what is, what is this? Well, forget it now. That's what I'm saying. Like, you don't, like, listen, you might think twice about it though. I'm not going to think twice. And listen, as long as it looks like you took care of this, okay? No.

Let it go. Let it go for a little bit. No, I'm not saying that. That's some spice in your life. I'm saying, just make sure it's not all strangly like Don King's hair. Yeah. That's it. That's not, you know what I'm saying?

Like nothing crazy. Whatever the shape up. It's not. All right. Cool. Clean it up. Yeah. That's fair.

That's fair. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not afraid of hair, but like, just keep it under control. Yeah. As they would want us to trim the hedges. Yeah. You don't want a weird looking bush in your front yard and make it a circle.

Yeah. No, no, no. That's all right. Yeah. I mean, I'm not, you know, I'm saying, yeah, no, I hear what you're saying, but like, you know, just let it go sometimes. I don't know. You got it.

You got it. I think twice a little bit before you see like a, a shaved vagina, shaved vagina, you're jumping right in. Correct. At first. At first. At first. Correct.

But if there's like a little inkling of like, maybe there's too much hair, you're not good. You're not going to jump right in. Literally the hesitation would be doing this and then it would be, yeah, yeah, yeah, it just, it'd be a quick, it'd be a quick, a quick, I would blink my eye and then I'd, I'd, you know, he's like, Oh, it's hair. And then get after it. You both are what's wrong with the world. Absolutely.

You make people feel self-conscious about what is natural. Here's Frankie trying to be the PC police. Yeah. That's what he thinks. No, no, no, no, it is true though. I will. He does that. You do it all the time.

Well, because. And here's the thing. Here's the thing. You're full of shit. No fucking noise. And I love, and I love you to death. I love you to death. I love you to death.

But you're one of those fake PC people who like 10 years down the road, like your sex tape would leak and you'd be like doing everything that was awful. Bullshit. Bullshit. There are certain things that I, that I legitimately believe in. I'll joke about things because for the sake of coming, I'll joke about that. No, because the one time on this podcast, I said something about gay sex and then you were like, why isn't it just sex?

Yeah. Well, that's a joke. That's more of a joke. That's a joke more of the people that are going to. It's a joke. It's a joke. Listen. You should know better than anybody else.

Did you just say gay sex was a joke? Oh my God. See, that's what you do. You should know better than anybody else. You said it was a joke. Yeah. I'm not a big caller, caller outer caller outer. I'm not a big call out guy, not a big call out guy, but you are, you are a little bit

PC police. PC police. All right. No, no, no. I'll agree with that. I am PC police, but I'm not. It's not bullshit. I don't know what you're doing.

Are you counting? What are you doing over there? I was like, hold on. Hold on. I will say this, I will say this. I am the prime example of, I always compare myself to Ryan from the office, how he has like different phases and goes through different shit and like cares about different shit very passionately.

Yes. Like there was a point in my college career where it was like, I was learning about, you know, fucking oppression and ex-mysy and hate. And then I was like, yeah, you know, like, yeah, like that I'll agree with. I go through phases. He's also a narcissist though. Yeah. I'm not a narcissist.

I don't consider, I don't consider you a narcissist. No. That was the most diplomatic word I've ever heard. Here's why. I think that you are a PC police because it's cool to be PC police. No. I've always been that way. No.

I think I've always been that way. That's not true. Yes, I have. No, look, there have been ways that I, things that I think are not politically correct now that I have done. I've changed through time. Absolutely. I acknowledge that.

I acknowledge that. But I've always been, how do I explain this? How do we do this? I don't know. I don't know. We're trying to get you out of this hole now. I know. I guess you are actually.

No, but like seriously though, I've always like tried to check myself and to like the people around me, like if those are the people I'm going to associate with, like try to check them too because there are certain friends of ours and you've done it too. There are certain friends of ours that have such stupid ideas that we have to call out and that's when I call it out. Well, we had to do that last week. Yeah. We're not going to get into it.

We're not going to get into it. Oh, I need to hear this. But the difference is absolutely. It was great. It's actually really funny. Nothing. You know, there's one where we had where a friend of ours, we won't say who, but a friend of ours said that women would never be able to be president because they're too emotional.

Do you remember that? I love that video that someone put out. I forget who it was, but it was like a guy who went out and he was just like, and someone said that was like, I don't, I wouldn't want a woman to be president because I think they're too emotional. Yeah. It's like, they'll like, they'll like, you know, have their period and then like start a war.

And the guy's like, haven't all wars been started by men? He's like, yeah, you got me. You got me. Bring up pretty good points. Pretty good points. Pretty good points. Yeah. No, the difference is though, because the PC thing, I don't mind, but what you just did

is you like, we're talking, you know, me and Danny too. I'm not some fucking prejudice person. Yeah, no, neither of you are. No, but I'm saying what you do though, like what you did with the gay sex thing that was it. No, you take it. You take it. You put yourself like, I'm up here.

You guys made this inappropriate joke. Yeah. You guys are right. I'm not involved. I'll accept that. That's that's constructive criticism. I will accept that. I will accept that as I'm up here accepting my criticism.

No, I can, I can see that, but like it's not, I don't think the word bullshit is, is correct because I like bullshit. Bullshit. Fuck off. Bullshit you. But here's the thing. Here's the thing though. We're all kind of in the business of making people laugh, right?

C-culture has kind of and comedy has gotten pretty fucked up. Like it's almost people that are afraid to say certain things. Yeah. Sure. Now, if you're doing it out in the street, I get where he's coming from. Do what? Saying words that you shouldn't be saying. Okay.

You don't think on YouTube or podcast? No, you shouldn't be doing it either, but I'm just saying if in the right context, if people are using it for comedic effect or they're using it in a tasteful way for lack of a better word, it could be take, it doesn't have to be like, oh, that's, that's terrible. No, I agree. I agree. Wholeheartedly, I agree with you. And I think we've had, all three of us have had this conversation off the, you know, not

on a podcast, but I think you also need to know, you need to know your audience and you need to know how things can be perceived. And sometimes unfortunately perception is not reality. Yeah, I understand. But like another thing is too, it's, I know about like knowing your audience and stuff, but it's like people shouldn't be afraid to express themselves in like a creative way. You're right. I like personally like me, and I know, I mean, dude, I'm just like, I'm a white male.

So like, obviously, I, you know, I've had to deal with nothing, you know what I'm trying to say? So I'm in no position to make this call. But to me, I'm about like intent, like, what were you intending? Absolutely. All of that is, it's, it all is on, like, were you, were you saying this, like, to be funny and it's like in a, not like a, like a disrespectful or like demeaning sort of way, then like, all right.

Like, and I can understand. And even if people got mad at you for saying it, like, I get it, but I wouldn't be like, that's a bad person. No. Like, I'd be like, he's, he tried to make a joke and it didn't, he looked like an ass. Yes. However, not everyone has that, that, that, that point of view and you need to, like, that's a big part of it.

And look, I mean, you, you know this probably better than him and I know this, but like, when you're building a personality for yourself, like, people see that personality a lot of the time, they don't go behind that and see the person or the intent behind what they're doing. Right. So you got to understand when, when people, you know, when certain conversations or topics come up, when people kind of back off a little bit is because they, they don't even want to put themselves in the, in the realm of being anything.

They're saying misconstrued. Granted, I don't think it's anything any of us say that we wouldn't be able to defend. That's why I don't really get scared of it because I'm like, I don't, I don't really like, never worried about it. I just, I, I have, I've also like, I've never hated anyone like that. No, I also, and, and again, I think this is a, like from when I went to school, like it was like really, really like the school that I went to was like really, really pushing that, that social change.

So it was like hard not to get on board with that, including when, you know, the jobs that I had on, on campus and shit like that. So I definitely, yeah, I think sometimes I get, but at the end of the day, you should want to do it yourself. And I do. You know what I mean? Not just cause like your school's doing it. I'm not saying that's what you did.

But I'm saying. But there, there are also things that I thought were wrong that like I see now are not like that bad. You know what I mean? Yeah. And it's like, you, you get that initial, like you go through phases and like, of course, you learn it and you figure it out. You know what I just hate?

I also just like on the flip side, like, hate being around people that are so like, so on edge and so scared that if you say like, oh, there's a gay guy or this black guy, they're like, chill. I'm like, the fuck? Yeah. That's just an observation. It pisses me off. Yeah.

He's a gay man. It's a gay guy. What are you worried about? He's a gay man. Yeah. I'm not going on. It's just fucking gay guy. Like, you know what I'm saying?

Like it's like. Intent. It goes back to what you said about intent. I just, everyone's too sensitive. I just think that. Political correctness has taken on this. It's just way too big now. People get upset about the smallest.

I don't think it's, I don't, I honestly, I will say like there are obviously you take to go to bed. I do think that the PC like wave is, I think it's a positive because there are a lot of people that like, you can't just fucking say this, you psycho, you know? Yeah. Of course. Yes. And like it's fine, whatever.

And there are going to be some people that are like, I'm still offended by this. And it's like confusing that like, you know, whatever, like for me personally, I don't think I'm ever going to say something on the show like, you know, we've said the word gay. Yeah. And we've said whatever we said on the show. Yeah. At no point have I ever like been disrespectful.

No. So if you're like upset about it, I'm sorry, but I don't really care because like I'm not being. Nothing out of the show has ever come from malicious intent. Nothing. And besides what we're saying to you about that was fucking bullshit. Gotcha. You tried to demean us.

No, but like, I feel demeaned. Unfortunately, it's the people that do it for their own personal gain that have nothing behind it. That doesn't mean anything good that fuck it up for the rest of the people. And I agree. The idea of politically being correct in certain facets of, you know, our world, I get behind, I think are great. But then they're like this, I think is a little much.

And I just pulled it up right now. Did you see the thing? Did you guys see the thing that Peter released instead of saying these common phrases say this? No. It's like an animal language. So instead of saying, stop using anti animal language. That's what it is.

First of all, if the term anti animal language, please go somewhere. We have a lot more things to deal with than that. So instead of saying kill two birds at one stone, you should say feed two birds with one scone, which that's easy. It's a scone. You could feed the whole idea is that one stone might not be able to, but instead of using be the guinea pig, you say be the test tube, be the test to, yes, instead of beating a dead horse, you should be feeding a fed horse.

Why would you feed a fed, fed horse? Oh, I would be the dead horse. Well, because it's a metaphor, I know, but so you can't feed a fed horse, and I didn't kill that dead horse. If I keep feeding a horse, I'm going to kill it. Yes. Exactly. It's a obesity problem.

They're actually telling us to kill horses. Feed this horse. Even if it's fed, it'll die. And then you can beat it. Bring home the bacon. They want us to say bring home the bagels. I feel like that's disrespectful. And then I was Jewish.

I'll be offended. Me too. Take the bull by the horns. They want it to be take the flower by the thorns. A flower is alive. You know, cut your hand. They're not consistent with what they care about. Cut your hand.

They're thorn. Yeah. Why am I hurting myself? They're promoting, you know, overfeeding and self-harm. Self-harm. It's just people that are so extremist on either side. And it ruins everything. Like that girl.

Who's that girl on like Twitter that like always like with the guns? I don't know. There's like some girl on Twitter that's like, like, come and take my guns. Tommy Lauren? No, no, no. There's another girl. And she put, she just did something where she took chicken and put it in the shape of pita.

Yeah. And like ate it. She showed them. She's fucking hard. It's like. God damn. I could not imagine about caring that much. I bet as she's setting it up, she's like, you know what's going to happen?

I'm going to spell out pita and then I'm going to eat this. I need, I need more chicken for the tea. Yeah. Oh my God. So stupid. And it's like that in all, in everything too, in terms of religious views, in terms of, you know, political views. If you're one of those people that in the middle of the day, you go somewhere with a

big ass sign you made at staples or whatever and you write like God hates fags or like you're going to burn in hell and you just like pick it outside. Dude. The West. I'm sorry. Really got to get it together. Yeah. I don't understand how certain people could be so behind in terms of their thinking.

I just don't understand. Like you're not there. What? You wouldn't even know. You don't know. And why does it bother you? I just don't know. I one time.

Because the Bible said it. That's great. I one time I heard someone. They said they were like, look, you could be fucking gay. I don't want to know about it. I don't want to see it. I don't want anything. And I'm like, all right, well, what about, you know, the fucking naked women and guys

that are laying in lingerie and underwear on a fucking bed together, a poster, you know what I mean? Like people have the billboards all over the city. Yeah. Well, that's different. Well, why is it different? Oh, because I don't know why I'm doing that voice. Well, that's different.

Yeah. I mean, like it's just people will just take a concept and run with it without knowing what the fuck they're talking about. Yeah. It's all very stupid. What was that? What was that? I don't know.

I'm very energized right now. Yeah, that's good. Dude, that cookie got to me. That cookie's good. That cookie's fucking good. Also Super Smash coming out. Oh, fuck, dude. So you're very excited about that.

Yo, I am. I got a call. I got a call. See if I can pick it up early. Wait, it's on a switch. Oh, yeah. And Nintendo Switch, which you can play. Oh, you drove here, right?

Do they have all the same characters? They have every character that's ever been in any of the Super Smash Brothers games and then new characters. Whoa. It's almost every stage and all the music. There's like 200 stages, including their Omega and Battlefield forms. And then there's like 1,000 songs. It's fucking insane.

Good for you. Wait, this is on the switch? Yeah. How much is the switch? You can get a bundle for like 300. Yeah. You might want to wait until after the holidays. That's what you think.

You're going to pull the trigger? I'll give up. What? All right. I mean, I might take a drive if you guys want to come with me after this. Yeah, but then you would have to drive me back. I won't. I'll just leave you at the train.

Oh. Scumbag. You hear this kid? We're taking Uber back. Oh, we're taking Uber. I made a money. I literally need to go through Manhattan. That's why I said, I was like, I, you know, to be, no, seriously, though, Nintendo has

been notorious for dropping their prices until after the holiday season. If I were you, you're not like feeding the play, just wait. Play Keats. And then if you like it, then you can get it. I've played Switch. I'm nasty. And you know this. Fuck you.

I'm good at Mario Kart. Danny. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just Googling something about Super Smash. It's rude. You all right?

Yup. Incineroar. Yeah. That's the new Pokemon. His name is Incineroar. It sounds cool. He is a, it's from the newest Pokemon series. And they have new series.

Yeah. Yeah. The Sun and Moon. You didn't hear about the Pokemon that came out on the Switch. Let's go Pikachu and let's go Eevee. It's the original fire in red, but in 3D. Yeah. And like you don't battle Pokemon.

If you want to catch them, you have to like go up to them and try to catch them. They're like walking around and shit. Like you'll see like Onyx just like in a cave. Wait, I'm confused about, am I wearing like a mask? Like a VR? No, it's on the Switch. Oh. And you like make your guy and then like you have Pikachu as your starter, but you can

get the original starters. Cool thing about Switch too is that you could play it in hand and on TV. Yeah. And it's beautiful. Mario Party sick. Yo, we should do that. Mario Tennis. We should play Mario Party.

Yeah. I wanted to do a stream. This kid's nasty at it. I haven't played the new one. Are you that good at it? I think it's Mario Party 8. Well, you also played the shit out of them. Mario Party Ultimate is the newest one.

Mario Party Ultimate. We should get that, never play it and for the first time play it. I think we should do a video just like get plastered and play Mario Party or Mario Kart. I wanted to do that on stream, but you apparently Twitch will ban you. If you play Mario Kart? If you drink. It's on stream. I agree.

You could drink, but you can't drink to the point where you're harming yourself. If someone reports you for self-harm, they'll shut you down. Oh, okay. So you can't play like beer-y-o-kart. No, but that's what I wanted to do with Keith. Yeah. Beer-y-o-kart's awesome. Awesome.

Keith's probably good at that. That kid could chug. Yeah. He could suck down beers. Yeah. But I can't. I'm super down to do that. You know how bad I am at doing like a beer bong?

I'm awful. Yo, I can't chug. Really? But I can do a beer bong. I don't think you can chug a little bit. I can chug. I can chug that. Like out of the, out of the whiff of all that.

That's almost worse. Yeah. No, it's easier. No. A bong, like a beer bong, a funnel. It goes, it just like shoots down my throat. That's what it's hard. Yeah.

I think it's easier. I can't open my throat like that. Really? No. Well, I can. No. No, I can't do that. Like I take shots like how you're not supposed to do it.

Like, I don't just throw it. You sip. He lets it sit. Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to be fucked. Not that many. You sip it.

It goes in my mouth. And then I drink it. Oh, that's the worst. You can open your throat like that. I literally just go like this and throw it literally like to my stomach. And it doesn't hit anything on the way down. It just hits my stomach. Nothing but that.

Yeah. Wait, can you do that? Yeah. Why can't I not do that? I think it's like a mental thing. Yeah. Because maybe you're like, you're anticipating the taste and how like gross it's going to be.

Are you serious questions? Do you have trouble taking pills? Yeah. That's why. There you go. Yeah. I was just like, yo, fuck it. I saw my dad take like 11 pills at once once.

Yo. Cycle. Becca takes pills. I did it. I did it. Yeah. I could do that too. Yo, fuck you.

Fuck you both. I can take like a claretin. Those are tiny. I can take them. No, I can't. It feels like dissolved too. No. I couldn't swallow pills for the longest time where like I'd pop a Tylenol and it would

just sit there and get that shitty taste on your mouth. Yeah. It's like the orangey fucking. Yeah. I don't know. Remember like when your mom would try to put that spoon in your mouth? That crush that spoon. What spoon?

Like with medicine on. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I wasn't a fan. Remember the syringes? Yeah. The syringes were better. Oh, I never did syringe.

Syringes were better. Like the bubble gum stuff. But that was on a spoon for me. Any time I've put medicine on a spoon for myself, always spill it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's no way to. No way.

Now. I think perfectly in my mouth. Now like Becca. Moms are amazing. Dude. Do that whole fucking thing right in your mouth. Becca, now medicine comes with like a special spoon that like you fill up and then it comes out the other end when they drink it.

It's fucking magic. What? It's tangled in my wires and shit. It's all right. We didn't have any of this shit. How do you use a regular spoon? How old? How old is your kid?

Uh, three. Three and a half. He'll be four in June. Look at that. I could not imagine having a three year old child. Yo, I got to be honest with you. Like from the time I've spent with him, it's fucking awesome. Yo, like seeing this kid is too smart and like seeing like someone discover something

and then like retain it is crazy to me. You know what I mean? Like think about like, you don't know how to read while you do, but imagine you didn't go on. And then you start to read and then you learn how to read and then you just start fucking reading everything. Yeah. It's also very rewarding teaching somebody something that I teach my dog how to sit and

I'm like, dude, when I taught my dog how to give Paul, I was like, this is one of the greatest feats I've ever had. I just went down a slide with my dog for the fucking ghost in this fucking apartment. It's a motion sensor. What is motioning over there? Just us. It has a very wide range. That's really dumb.

Yeah. But no, it's fucking, it's super cool. I'm afraid to have kids, but no, no, here's why you should change the batteries if we're going to have this kind of no, no, no, no, no, here's why I'm afraid. It's like when we were kids get comfy and when we were kids, when we were kids, when we were kids, we like just started like that kind of like chat room kind of not bullying but cyber cyber sex like that cyber cyber sex. So now we're fully into it.

Like what the fuck are our kids going to be exposed to like years from now? I don't I don't that's what I'm afraid of. Like how easy it's going to be to just be exposed to weird or weird or shit. Yo, it's going to be terrifying with those fucking robots, too. It's going to be killed. Those people. Wait, well, well, I didn't kill anyone, dude, it injured people. Yeah, because it opened, it ripped open a can of bear spray in like a in a warehouse.

Yeah. And like people got fucked up. What is it? First of all, what the fuck is bear spray? It's like it's like pepper spray. But like bear is crazy. It's like what dog the bounty hunter would spray people with. Any time I hear dog about it, I think of the South Park.

I am the dog, the big bad day is the mess he's on bears. Yo, I I I'm with you, though, like it even like even though I've seen like miles grow up and I don't consider myself a step parent, but in theory, like my definition, I am. Yeah. And like, yo, it's fucking terrifying having a child. Like I am so I'm pumped. But like you just like people always say, like, oh, you got to wait till you're ready. You're I feel like you'll never be ready.

You seem to do it and then you're just like it happens and then you just like get into it. But the one thing that we will have up on our parents is that as I guess as millennials, we'll be up to date on technology. Like we'll be able to know how the shit works. Like our parents don't know how fucking shit works. My parents would go on my space and be like, where's the rapists? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, everyone's a rapist. Yeah, I'm like, Jesus, it's going to be way easier for us to kind of police that, I think.

But I just feel like as artificial intelligence gets smarter and smarter and smarter, it's going to be like beyond our control almost the point where like, I don't even know if I can protect this kid or not. Also, I'm afraid I am. We're also our parents' generation. They grew up with very different in terms of like the way they were receiving news. Like news anchors back in the day when they were growing up were like the most trusted people. If it came from a news anchor, it was true.

And anything. Well, that's what they believe. Exactly. Yeah. Now our generation is much more inclined to ask questions and try to understand something than our parents. Let's be honest. Our parents are fucking idiots.

And I think that we're going to be better parents for that because we'll never just assume, like, you know how like our parents' generation, like never assume that bullying was as, I never thought it was just like someone, you know, just like picking on each other at school. Like everyone gets bullied. You know what I mean? It's just the thing that kids do when they grow up. Like our generation will know, like, no, this is fucking serious. Like, and we'll be able to, well, the good ones of us, you know, us three at the table.

That's it. I hope. Yeah. There it is again. You hear how he said hope? Hope. He pronounces peas like you would not believe. Hope.

Say poop. Now I'm afraid. Say poop. Poop. What do you want me to do? What do you want me to do? I'm just getting comfy here. Poop.

No, but you know what I'm saying? Yeah, no, absolutely. I'm not afraid to have children. But it's the concept is, it's a lot of pressure. Yeah. And then like a part of me doesn't like want to pass things on to my kid. That's, yeah. I'm with you on that one too.

Like certain traits and shit that I have. Yeah. I don't want to pass it on to my kids sometimes. I mean, you guys here, it's sad to say, but like, I've struggled with depression. So much. Like it's hereditary. Like I would hate to give that to you. Yo, I, I, I was recently thinking about this too.

Like, you know, my parents are always like, look, you're thick. If I could take it away, I would. And I was like, shut the fuck up. Like, all right. You're just saying that. But like, because of my health issues, I can say, I know, I can now be like, yeah, like if I, because of my health issues, if God forbid knock on wood, I pass those down to my kids.

I'd be like, yo, I would never put this upon anybody else. That's why like, except for like, someone I hate. Yeah. And I hope I don't hate my kids. No, you don't. And you won't. I won't. But what I'm saying, Joe has instead of words, like 45 minutes.

You guys good? But it's, it's a logical fear to have. I think to be afraid to have kids, to be afraid to have children and also like, yeah, be afraid to pass things on to them that you don't want them to have to struggle with. Yo, Joey, you're going to be such a white dad. Yeah. Come on champ. Hey, morning sport.

Honestly, of all, what have I ever been that you're going to be that. No way. Yes, you are. Of all three of us here. He'll be the hardest honest kid. Hell yeah. I would say so. Yeah.

I would say so. Like he's not a bad thing. He's going to be like no silver medals in this house dad. Oh, I mean, I'm going to be like that too. I'm going to be like that to an extent too. Yeah. But he's going to go. No fucking part.

You bring a participation trophy home, snapping it in half. Like he'd be the type of kid like, yo, I can fucking suck today. No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't tell that to my kid. No, but like to us, like the ball hanging out. Yeah. If we were drinking a beer, our kids are on the same soccer team.

We'd be like, yo, Joe Jr. Fucking socks, dude. Yeah, man. Are you going to name your kid Jr. Absolutely not. Really? I was your third. I was your third.

What? You're technically. Well, are you doing your dad have the same middle name? No. So. Same initial though. That's really fun when mail comes in. Joseph P.

Sanagato. Yeah. Great. Great. We all. What's he Peter and your Patrick? Why would you just assume Peter? Because they're Italian.

Italian. No, it's Pasquale. Really? Is it really? Yeah. So the Italian, I guess. No, yours. We know yours is Patrick.

Yeah. Yo, another thing that I was. What is wrong with you? You were, you were, you were singing. Yeah. Um, so another thing that I, uh, like it just reminded me when you're talking about your kids, like you're afraid of like whatever. And you know, I don't know if this is a coincidence, but for some reason it might recommend it all

the time on YouTube. And I don't know if this is from you because it's like the base of your channel. There's a lot of like to catch a predator. Shit. Oh, it's me. Like, and I'm just like, yo, why is all this to catch a predator stuff here? Like, and you're just crushing. I've been on a huge.

I go to catch a predator. I go through those. Our long video the other day, it's like the greatest hits that show might be the greatest show of all time. I don't know about that, but dude, I'm telling you it is because they all have the same answer. And they all hang out. Yeah. Would it, would it 12 year old?

They're, I mean, it's, it's, it's scary, but hilarious. But also, you know, that show is like really like it is legally it is fucked up. It's kind of counterproductive. It's counterproductive because they can't, they don't arrest them. Like they can't arrest them because they're not a legal agency. So what they, the show is all about just like getting these people's names out. Well, they passed, they passed them off to a legal right. But the thing is they, they, they haven't done anything yet that that would warrant

jail time. But they have like. Endangering. Right. Miners or soliciting sex. Sometimes I do get a jail time, but nothing crazy. Yo, when I was in Connecticut, there was one. I do got eight years in that video.

Did it? Yeah. There was one that happened in Fairfield, Connecticut, which is the town over from where I lived in Milford. Yo, that's, that's fucking crazy. Like it's in your backyard. They did the catch predator in Fairfield. They did a lot of it in Connecticut.

It wasn't to catch a predator, but it was another show Chris Hansen did like two years ago. He did like one off episodes. Oh yeah. He did like predators remastered. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's not like one thing he says, but I also like somewhat of stuff they say is pretty hilarious.

Like there was that one thing where the guy was like, uh, like Chris Hansen's always this like, cause they're like, no, I'm just going to hang up. What do you mean? She's 18. What are you talking about? And the guys like, well, I had the transcripts and they're like, oh fuck. And he goes, uh, you asked her if she wanted to do anal. And he goes, it's just a question.

They were like, yeah. And then he goes, yeah, that's illegal. He goes, yo, that's not legal. He goes, yes it is. Ask a child if they like anal. And the other thing too, is as a child. You ask a child if they like anal and the other thing too is How has he never got punched?

Yo, how is he keep a straight face? He's so good at getting people to sit down You know the best is like the transitions like they on that like best of thing they had like a montage of it Well, I'd be like, oh, so you see you see the two. Yeah Cookies and he's like, why don't you feed me one of those cookies? Yeah, have a seat right here He's like I brought some chicken sandwiches chicken sandwiches. I love chicken sandwiches. Yeah Delicious, why don't you have a seat? There was one that was right over there There was one that he sent to me and it was a guy who like he's sitting down He brought a pizza Chris Hansen comes out and he goes

What do you heard dad takes a takes a slice and folds it and starts eating it Offers it to the crew to the credible when they come out. They're like, well, I'm Chris Hampson a crampson Well, I'm Chris Hansen and we're doing a story on predators online predators. He also has a weird voice like I'm Chris Hansen Right over here it says here and I love how he reads it out to them And you could see how sick like these guys are you could see it on their faces It says here you're only 14 you respond Yeah, but I'm ready for this then you say I want to put my penis in your vagina Are you a screen name finger me? This is a fortune. This is a 14 year old girl. Are you sexy boy boy?

Jacob yo, that's exactly how he reads it to he's like she asks When do you want to come and you say don't you mean where? This is proper So sorry, I won't do it again. Let me just go like what fucking idiot at that point is like all right I'm getting out of this with a slap on the wrist, you know, what are you doing here? I'm just being dumb. I knew it. I know when they say I knew it. No, some guy was like he comes in He has he has like a 36 rack of beer To and then two sixes of Mike's heart and the Chris Hansen comes out of nowhere

It's like what are you doing here? And he's like, you know, I just I needed somewhere to drink He's like all this is for you. Yeah. Yeah, this is for me. I'm gonna take it home with me Well, did you see the one where the guy like there? He's like, you know, what are you doing and he's like, well, I'm here to protect her from people that could be predators online And they're like, you're the predator. He's like, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. I'm a teacher The weirdest ones are the ones that come in hot like Can I can I have a hug? Those people are gonna kill that girl. I

Give me a sec. I need to go behind this curtain. That's you know, in my kitchen for some reason. Yeah Made cookies. I have one. I'll be right down. I'm just getting naked. It's so it's so weird Enjoying those cookies I have the transcript right here Damn, I want to have sex with you. You reply Am I big enough for you? Then you send a picture of yourself naked Jacob? Is this proper? I don't know. I don't know man. I was joking

They always walk in the house. Where are you? Yeah, where are you? Okay, let me sit down have some lemonade, okay No, they always play off like the whole like they're supposed to be a little kid So they'll be like I'll be right there. Help yourself to a fruit roll up Like they're fucking like they have like dunkaroos and dude something that's fucking tang on that show is so scary too Because there was this one guy That the girl was like, are you excited to to see me or whatever and he just goes? Yeah, and I was like, whoa

Yeah, it's fucked up. Fuck wasn't there one guy that like they had searched his car and he had like fucking duct tape and Yeah, like the one guy was like, I'm gonna paddle you he drove four and a half hours You know, I'm gonna leave bruises. No, what why do you think that I'm gonna leave bruises You said here you're gonna leave bruises and she asked you when do you want to ejaculate and you replied yesterday? And the decoy voices are funny really quick really quick. I'm sorry. I don't mean to cut you off No, no, no, but there is there was a short-lived show on Comedy Central called Human Giant. It was like oh, that's I'm sorry Paul Scheer Um, yo, it's fucking hilarious. They did it to catch a predator skit. Yo, it's the funniest shit I like I watch that skit so many times

It says here you want to wear his balls as earrings Yo, watch it. It's fucking There's also there's a compilation uh on the internet of like like a mashup of Chris Hansen walking in on Chris Hansen and they like made it so it looks like he saw me himself What are you doing here? And he's like Do you do anal like you don't say like they just like cut it up and he's like, what do you mean? Is this proper?

Internet's the best. Yeah, undefeated undefeated. That show is terrifying though But why do we enjoy watching it so much because is it seeing people get their comeuppance? What the fuck is that word come come ups? Like like comeuppance like like you get what you deserve I think I think we just like watching something that Is so fucking outlandish and stupid to us like that is some of those people that you have seen the show They're like, oh, I know. I know I knew it. Hey, Chris. There's a guy that had been like they're like before He rolled that he used to ride the metro north train with him

Yeah, they like known each other and he's like, what are you? He's like Jeremy. What are you doing here? And he's like, oh chris I Dude it's make yourself uncomfortable. I have some high C You look really good naked thanks I hate those cutaway screens. There's so bad and it's always like a like a Slow motion like computer like somebody typing. Yeah, and it's just like the chat moving this way and then moving

I want to see you naked vagina like have you ever had sex before just ones. What's the most you've ever done kissing I'm really nervous. God. It's so weird. Oh my god. It's it's Have you ever gone into one of those chat rooms when you were younger? Yeah Yes, yeah, yo, me Yo, there's no doubt in my mind. I was on the receiving end of a predator Yo, me and my cousin once did it on purpose as 20 year olds. We were in our 20s. I was younger. No, listen We were like, yo, we said you were 12. Yeah, we went into somewhere. We made a fake chat name What was the chat name lax boy 12? That'll get some that'll turn some heads. Yo pretty sure that's Pete's current bro

So what we entered was 12 year old male new york asl Like 15 messages. Did you go off? What's up? Did you go off like? Yeah, of course. What are you doing? Yo, we made them video chat us and then it was just two grown men and we were like, yo, you're fucking gross Yo, that's I didn't do that. Yeah Mine was a little different. No, we got we got him. We got him We got him. It's funny because ladies and gentlemen, we got him. Yo, it was on it was on aim It was on aim and you can you know how you can like start a chat room and it'd be like chat room One two three eight four four four four four one two two

Like you can go in and be like chat room six and it'll just be like 80 people in there And it'll be you know asl asl And like, you know, fucking I would put like uh, you have 15 male new york or however old I was and then you would get Yo, so many people. I remember there was one person that was like, hold you. Where are you from? Why don't you finger yourself and I responded where? I seriously responded where because at that age, I didn't know what the fuck fingering a guy was It's just crazy Yo, seriously though, I remember doing that shit like as clear as day and then like a few like nights later on the nightly news

It was like what is cyber and it was but like cyb3r and my brothers were like Looking over like yo, what the fuck did you ever have cyber sex? Oh, yeah Did you like random people? No, no, no with like people that I knew. Oh, did you ever have cyber sex? What is that? Like it was basically sexting it was sexting but on aim But it was like, um, I can't think of like an example of time ahead, but like I'm sure I cyber sex once my mom found it Oh, it's fucked. Yeah, wait. Why was it like that ruins the health that ruins the family because like your aim like would Like the windows would be minimized and you could go through it. Ah, god. What what happened?

What were you saying? Like I want to like pee on you. No, please. I was nowhere near as sexually Like knowledgeable. Yeah at that point. It was more like I just like Like yeah, yeah, I'm gonna kiss you so hard on your neck and then your fucking nipples. Yeah, hold on. Yeah, basically And my mom read the whole thing out to me like chris hanson. Yeah You're fine. Uh, danny. You having a good day? That's incredible. Do you have a seat? She read the whole thing out to me. She was like, how can you talk to somebody like this on the internet? And then I was like, I know this person. She was like, I don't give a fuck She's like can't do this shit at home

It's like other people live here and our fucking computer was in the kitchen Yeah, you're sexting next to the oven. Yeah sexting next to where was your where was your family computer? It was first in the basement at one point. It was so there was a basement all bets are off Everyone's jerking off down there. Dude. I was Basement you're asking someone the jerk off There was also it was at one point it was in for the most part it was in my dining room Yep In the corner and then at one point it was in my parents room

That well that was original. No, no that was funny junk.com days Yeah, it was in your dad's in your in your parents room. I remember because it froze on a picture at tits And we had a restart the computer. I remember that and then those those quick pop-up viruses Yeah, no, seriously. I remember that show off the monitor and then it went It would go between your living room and your basement. I mean dining room We used to do uh We used to go to our friends houses And make the background

Different shit different shit. Yeah, like dicks like dicks and like I remember we made one It's like Spongebob was sucking off Patrick And it was only his computer and that day his mom chose to use the computer And that came up and we were all were not allowed to go to his house for like a month That's great. Yeah, I'm gonna try to find this image. Yo, hold on. I just want to tell a story real quick Just because you you're like when you were saying how you you didn't really know anything about sex Yeah, I didn't know anything Yo

Fucking Dylan told me this story one time that this kid Um that he was in middle school with It was like this asian kid and he says And apparently he had sex with some girl or something. So someone was like, oh, how was it and he goes What was the girl she's like, yeah, she had a big pussy Yo, this was the kid he didn't know what he was saying. This was the background of my computer and my aim icon for the longest time Do you remember that? Oh my dude Didn't you have this on a shirt? No never had it on a shirt. I hope I hope they can see this

We got to get that made into a shirt now. I'll wear that hard into a shirt now Oh my god, it says pimp and pink lettering and then it's You know how like on windows xp you could like sign in and have images that was mine and the background for the longest The pink panther smoking a cigar with a big-ass diamond earring. Yep Good times. Good times Frankie. I remember one time my voicemail was like that scene from training day Oh, remember want me to suck your dick that scene? No, no, no, no the one was like you motherfuckers We played basketball and better than fucking bae My mom called. Oh, no and heard that and left the voicemail

And then passed the phone to my dad That's how bad it was. He was like if this thing isn't off your phone by the time you get home You don't have well my my my dad always threatened to make me home Hold on real quick no one's threatened to make me homeless more than my dad Frankie's voicemail I was just gonna say it would ring and then it would just be him. Hello Oh, hey, what's going on? Oh nothing, man. What's going on and then like Yeah

I got you man. It's my voicemail. See you later. Fucker and like whatever not the fucker part But one time my dad was trying to get in contact with you because I didn't my phone died like I had like a Nokia Like whatever my mission to the point is it when you couldn't get in contact with your children. No, no, no Like you were afraid. Yeah. Yeah, and like we were out and about like we were young You know I'm saying like and played too much and like at this point They didn't really like that me and Frankie were hanging out like whatever Because we would always get into trouble like we used to get in trouble by your your mom all the time, too Not my parents. That's a whole other conversation. No, but I mean, all right, whatever, but your pc is fucked up

Fuck off. Oh, so So, uh, he calls Frankie's phone And that happens to him. Oh my god, and he like fell for it. Obviously he's like hey Frank He's like, hey, what's going on? So casual he's talking to his fucking voicemail like tell Joey to call me and then he gets in with the fucking Ah, got you bitch. Yo, I got so I got screamed at multiple times Multiple times for that. It was great. I met Joe's dad for the first time. Oh, what do you think? It's a great guy. Do you see where all the stories come from though?

I could see how that got to yell at somebody. I was I was and I explain this to them too Like I was the Steve Urkel like I was the annoying neighbor that like Just showed up all the fucking time. You were the Eddie Haskell But I also I like there was I clearly remember there was one Mother's Day where you and Keith didn't get flowers for your mom and I showed up with flowers and chocolates and your sister like Reamed you guys out for it. I remember that. Yo, it's all right. If there was a phase where parents didn't like you No, I don't And most 12 year olds are asked my old parents didn't like me for the longest time

I wouldn't feel bad. I still don't think Frankie's dad likes me. My dad doesn't like me Don't don't think it's for you. He doesn't like me. Yo. Oh my god, Jesus That's isn't that the coolest thing though about growing up with people Like you forget that these people knew you when you were 12. Yeah And now you're at a point where it's like you're not that crazy But they always think of you as a kid yo There was one time that Frankie was at my house and my dad was yelling at me for something, right? He's like He's yelling at like me. He's like you guys are fucking idiots like all stuff Frankie get out of here go home

You guys doing all the stuff that Frankie's just sitting there. He goes. Yeah, Frankie get the fuck out of here Yo, there was one time where we were like your dad was like sitting at the table reading It was like after school one day. It was I think it was when it was like 2007 or something. We were talking Barry Bonds and I I Everyone was talking. I was like, yeah, Barry got bonds. What a scumbag your dad put the paper down. Why did you say it? Get the fuck out. I was like, all right. I got it. Yo, you couldn't say suck in my house Yo suck. I scumbag. I think I said uh fucking your brother once dragged me across the table

I Literally was like the annoying neighbor He said fuck a couple times and every every time every time he said fuck. He said excuse me my my dad He was like, yeah, but like the fuck it excuse me The thing we always let me and my siblings we always laugh about that and like dad We've heard you curse more than anyone ever like this is the thing I've like, you know how people are like, oh, I've never met someone like them I have never to this day ever met anyone like your father

Yeah, he is legitimately one of a kind in the history of the world You know that thing that people say about their dads all the time They're like, oh my god, my dad. He's so crazy. Like when you meet him, and then you meet their dad You're like, all right, this is a normal guy. Yeah, no one who has ever met my dad was like That is your dad's cool. Like he's just a normal dude. Like no, he's a psycho. Yeah, he's a nut job. Your dad's out there But it's great. He's a great guy. Oh, man. I love it. Great guy. Your dad could talk for days My dad's the same way if my dad ever met your dad We would have to pair them apart. My dad's the opposite. My mom is like that though

My mom can talk for days. My mom could also be a bit much sometime But like my dad's my dad is like really kind of reserved and stoic old school But with us, he's like like talking laughing fun, but like with like other people. He's just very like Yeah, I get that though. Yeah, my dad'll talk anybody's ear off I haven't spoken to your dad in so long. Yeah, he's around. He almost I clearly remember as clear as day remember two things about your dad Seriously, he's like frankie down here and he kept talking to us and like like 20 seconds later. Frankie's doing it. He's like, Frankie get the fuck out of here That was the worst when parents would like your dad every time I would sleep over your house in the mornings

Your dad was like a rooster because he would be coughing up whatever in his system in the morning I'm like, oh my god. And then the other thing I love my bacon burnt to a crisp because Your dad ruined bacon and eggs for me Because one morning your dad was like, I'm gonna make pancakes eggs bacon. How do you like it? And I was like Cooked and you were like, what do you mean? Do you like it a little snotty? And I'm like, excuse me That's how he says he likes like snotty and I was like, what does that mean? He's like, it's a little undercooked. It's snotty I was like, yo, I'm never fucking eating that

It was awful He used to clean his ears out with a car key Yeah, I don't want to I don't want to say used to because that's something that is probably probably going on I'm sure yeah As he's driving he shuts it off. Let's the car just roll and then just I probably Towards the back. He's just he's a character man. Oh man. Great. That's my dad. That's your dad Oh god

Honestly, do you think your dad had a big dick? Like has a big I mean from what he told me he said he's got a got a hammer. He used to have a fucking big old dick It's gotta be working with a wrench. I mean, I don't know Within the first 30 minutes of me meeting me. He goes I used to have a big old dick Yeah, my dad was not like My dad worked on his personality You know what I mean? He coasted off of his like looks

I don't think my dad was bad. Did I ever tell you a story about the picture my brother Jared took of your dad's dick? No, no, so my dad watches tv. I even met my dad. He's tall. He's like six three. Really? Yeah, long leg long leg guy But like for some reason once you hit a certain age, you start wearing like you wear underpants with like holes in them still so My brother Jared Text us and he's like yell and we're like, yo, what's up? He's like, yo, I'm about to send a picture Sorry, dad It's my dad's his legs are crossed. He's on the couch

And his balls are just hanging out of his boxers Yo, that's honestly sometimes my my brother Jared took a picture and sent it to us He had no idea and he said he was talking to Jared for hours. Just when his balls out had no idea. Yo, sometimes Big balls are a lot more impressive than a big dick. Yeah, of course a lot more. Yeah, I think you're more man Yeah, of course I think you're more manly if you have big ass balls big ass balls like dick You're fine, but the size of those fucking balls says a lot I would say the balls set are like they set the ball

You if you look right now close your eyes look at dick and balls What draws your attention more the balls or the dick balls? Exactly I don't know where this is coming from. What's just a good old pair of balls I mean, I'd rather have a big penis Penis But like But like balls like if I have monster balls I'm okay with that

If you had to rate your balls right now one to ten. Oh seven. Yeah, I'm at a 6.57. Yeah My balls are more impressive than my penis way more There's no doubt about it You feel passionate really passionate. I have great balls. Yeah, mine aren't great, but like they're they're they're perfect for what I got Working with do you let do you got big balls? I wouldn't say that you have like normal balls. Yeah, nothing about me is special Yeah, I mean, I think you're a special guy. Well, I mean your personality. You mean your ability to be your friend. I just No, I just think that like every like I'm just like Like I always say like if you if you play like a sports video game and you hit create player

Whatever's there. I just leave it because that's where I probably 50s all the way down. Yeah No, no, just like he goes 99s everything but appearance. He means yeah, okay Yeah, I'm the one I'll be the one that like makes like hair and like skin tone and stuff, right? I don't have to change skin tone. I don't change because you are literally so random. Yeah, you are your John Doe That's what you are a randomized player. Yeah, that's it. Like my dick and balls aren't gonna win any contest It probably not no, but like I'd love to see those content. I might get I might get like fourth fifth runner up I put it like this There's nothing in the balls not in the dick

There's nothing bad about them. You know what I mean like there's nothing people be like Uh-oh, Frank's balls Oh I used to do fun facts. Hey guys close the windows Frank's balls Do you remember when like amongst our friends? We used to be like, yo, look at the time you show some of your balls It'd be like your balls on your wrist I never did that I have a picture of my computer. Josh sent me. He was like, I gotta

Look at this sausage McMuffin. I got this morning and it's just his balls over a mcdonald's bag Josh was big on the balls. Yo, big yo, he's got he's got Josh, sorry. He's got big old balls Like planets. Josh. I'm sure he doesn't mind. No, I'm sure he's all right They're dangly though. Yo, do you ever see those things on the back of like really like redneck fucking people's trucks? Yes, those are his balls dangly like berry bonds earring Wow They swing in the way. Yeah, I've pretty I got pretty tight balls

tight like not like to the point where it's like Like a baby sack But like my balls sit nicely. They don't dangle. They don't okay. Yeah. Yeah. I don't I've never been like perky I got perky. You got perky perky balls. Mm-hmm. I've never like there are people that have like really really really long ball sacks Where they like sit on them. Yeah, I can say I don't I think like balls are like boobs in a way Like if you got really big boobs, they sag. Yeah come down Yeah, like you can just tell you like when she takes that bra off, they're gonna they're gonna go down Yeah, but I'd rather that

Then get presented with a sack. That's a saggy sack Oh, just like small balls saggy sag. Yeah, because titties are titties, dude If the big titties coming out, I don't care where they're at. I'll find them. Yeah, me too But I feel a girl will be turned off if your dick and balls are just like what are you guys? What are your guys's thoughts on uh on playing with balls? I like it doesn't do it for you. Yeah, I like it a lot It's great. Not too rough though. But like just yeah, let me relax with what you're doing. Yeah These things have taken a beating over the years. Don't slap me or anything. Yeah. Yeah I think it brings a sensation full circle because it's like everything's getting pleasure down except for your asshole

Yeah, no stay away Let me ask you this let me ask you this and then how much time then we'll wrap it up after this Would you let no Hear me out. Hear me out. Hear me out. You're say you're married, right? Got kids we get tying it back into a good life. It's boring. It's boring now You live this whole life your girlfriend's like let's try something new in the bed. I want to stick my finger in your ass Would you let her stick her finger in your ass while she like did stuff with her? I'll tell you what I'm not gonna confidently say no because after all that that you've been through

kids All this marriage stuff. Yeah At that point listen to me. I will confidently say I won't You really wouldn't I can't I I can't even if she wanted to like and it's not even just like it's not even like a hyper masculine Like no, no, it's getting you my fucking ass just like one It is a war zone. It is an it's not a fun place that I don't doubt It is not a fun place, but I'd have to prepare and to just like I would have to prepare too You know how certain people are like self-conscious of like, you know, oh, I don't like how my nose looks

I don't like how my feet look. I'm self-conscious of my asshole. Yeah, I don't want anyone seeing it being near it Or like it is mine. And if I didn't he have to have it. I wouldn't it's a you thing. Yeah, it's a me thing It's not a you know, like no no fucking. Um, I'll prove gay. No, I don't care about that I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm I'm gonna say I'm 50 50 50 50 I applaud you guys for the confidence. I don't have confidence No, if if my partner wife of all those years was like I want to try this There's nothing I can do you have to go easy on it. She had to go easy on my butt There's nothing like and I I I will very proudly say this. There's nothing I can do

To my asshole to make it appealing You could work on it syrup syrup maple syrup Maple syrup's great. Yeah, you know what that's actually not a bad idea. No, that'll work Look problem solve sit and maple syrup and then bend over. Yeah No, but no way. You never have you ever eaten food off of a girl? Uh, what are you like fucking Egyptian king? No, like like like like She comes out on a fucking their sushi What are you talking about? You never put like whipped cream on it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's not eating food

That's like Yeah, but like I think it's just like cliche and like corny. Yeah, but you've done it. Yeah done it just to you know Chocolate. Oh, I remember at Spencer's gifts. They always used to have like, you know, like remember those chocolate blowjob cream You're like, all right. Remember those edible bracelets that came on the string. Oh, yeah underwear it's like Who's wearing twizzler underwear? No, I'm not even this red vine panties. Shit. Get it out. I'm not gonna eat. I'm not gonna eat your underwear Yeah, I'm not doing that. No, eat my shorts What was that? It was like a thing from the simpson bar simpson. Yeah, um, anyway, I think you could wrap this up

Hour 40. Wow Can't wait. Yeah. What time did you have to leave? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, yeah. Um, anyway It's been fun. Very fun. It has where can they find you frank? Uh f alvarez 8085 on twitter the frank alvarez on instagram a little rebrand right there. You like that Joey it was joey's idea. It was my idea I think it's better and then well, it's taken on instagram on twitter So I can't take it someone messaged me like yo 11k. All right. You're not messaging 12k It's like you grow up a douche and then f alvarez 8085 on twitch

scj pod the podcast I do with uh some of our buddies wrestling podcast at scj pod on twitter soundcloud itunes check it out And at danielo priori on twitter and scramb and guys go follow At the baseman yard on instagram for all the clips And you can watch this if you're not watching it already on youtube youtube.com slash the baseman yard And our patreon if you want to support the show head to patreon.com slash the baseman yard patreon.com Slash the baseman yard and that is all see you guys next time