The Basement Yard - #171 - Almost Got Abducted By Aliens

Episode Date: January 7, 2019

This was the scariest/craziest night of my life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard what My mic check your mic check is funny. My mic check was just what what yeah, you're ready Do you remember you know usually do like 10 minutes of mic checking? Yeah? I think that's some of the best footage. Maybe one day. We'll we'll actually show everybody like Our actual mic checks. Yeah, cuz they're kind of ridiculous. I'm trying to fix your leg. No, it's fine. I'm right here You're a little low. I'm right here. I got you. I want to hear you, baby. I hear you dog You know saying I hear you don't hear you, baby. Yeah, I hear you dog I want to hear you, baby. Here you go. You want to know why my face, baby? I'm looking at your face screaming my ears. I'm saying it

Speak to me. I got you real. Just sorry. That's real. What's your go-to if you're gonna get into a fight? Man, I'm not good in those situations like There's like weird stuff that come across and so it's like y'all is one time it kills like I said some of some kid He was like fuck you and I was like no He told me fuck you I told him no crushed it he won that day, but I'll kick your fucking ass Yeah, act like I won't fuck you right now, dude act like I won't suck your dick, dude Just make like like gay comments I was gonna fight a guy and yet I knew who was bigger than me. Just make mad gay comments

Insanely, but like in a tough way. Yeah, I'll fucking suck that dick And he's like wait what which what yeah, I might even get naked too Excuse me. Yeah, just to get him to not beat me up. I could never fight a naked person No, you can't they're too vulnerable you feel bad. No, I can't fight a naked man Could you fight like literally if someone came up to you naked? No, but like undressed like ready to like y'all I'm ready to fight right now and how undressed fully naked Well, like in front of a bar that would be a naked man. Yeah. Yeah, I would I would be like I'm gonna I'm gonna you see this you got this one. You got it. You got this, bro

So it's got their dick out. I don't want to fight him. No, no, it's flopping against my knees. You don't know you catch something Fucking dick catch a dick against your face You know saying if he's tackled me to the ground now, I get his ball sacks like on my elbow. I don't want this No, no, you know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know what you mean. Yeah, I do understand that I would not want Angry man's ball sack in the middle of my arm. Yeah, I don't want that either How would what position would he have to be in to get you there? I would have to be some sort of you would have to be like some sort of side control I Would be in the faith. I was gonna say the fatal position. That's fatal. That's kind of creepy

I think you're just a little freaked out from Everything that happened yesterday last night. I was in the fatal position. That's for sure I think everyone in New York City was dude So, I mean by the time this airs, it'll be like old news. Yeah, but it needs to be addressed It just needs to be last night. What's today's date today is the 28th of December, right? So we do these like in advance surprise We do it in advance Uh, and you can you can listen to every episode in advance if you go to support our patreon patreon.com

Slash the base me yard and my voice cracked. I'll say like I'll I'll say like a real man Okay, go ahead. Yeah. All right. So we got a patreon, right? So if you go to patreon.com slash the basement yard, you get every episode a week early Yeah, that's right. You get that week's episode and next week's episode early and you get bonus content bonus content We answer your questions. We have a segment on there called what the fuck does patreon want? We only add answer patron questions and then every month the last Thursday every month you get your own fucking episode exclusive Exclusive shit. Yeah. Um, but yeah, but like so anyway last night. I watched bird box

Pete and Espa came over and they're like, yeah, let's watch bird box. They showed off all the lights I'm like you guys are going hard. I didn't even know it was like a scary movie on honestly, I didn't and I was like, all right, cool. Like everyone's talking about this. I like let's put it on Just give you an idea of what happens in this and I made you know, you know, you made me watch it. I made you watch it Uh There's a there's like a evil entity in you know, this is what I'm not giving anything away here But like there's there's an evil entity try to be spoiled a little spoiler free. There is no spoilers though

No, like the entity is a weird word entity entity entity. All right, keep going. Yeah, but There's a there's an evil entity that like There's an evil Intinity Yeah, and and titty and You know, if you if people see it then they start to go insane they kill themselves and they do all this stuff It's mayhem. There's hysteria in the streets and like people running around. There's cars crashing explosions, blah, blah, blah The movie is much more than that, but that's just like the gist of it

So we got like a half an hour in and you know, there's mass hysteria going on people in the streets and a lot of things going on What's going on? I don't know. Don't look at it. Keep your eyes down sort of thing and then the sky turns blue like Like teal. Yeah, so bright That it looked like daytime mind you. It's it's dark. It's like 10 30 Yeah, and it's or it's like 10 o'clock or whatever and for the record He's talking about the actual sky that the world that we live in not the movies. No, no, no

Now I'm talking about in real life. Yeah, the real-life sky turns blue Like a teal blue like a neon fucking blue like a fucking what's that movie where the guy's riding the thing? was I It's like the all the fucking futuristic movie He's got long hair with the truck on Tron. Yeah, that's some shit So that kind of blue like a Carolina blue kind of yeah, and it was blue as shit And it was so bright out and like at first I'm like wait am I like I thought I was going crazy or it looks like you know what it looks like when lightning strikes

Yeah, and then you see the sky just whole sky light up like that Literally it was like that but like bright blue. Yeah, it stayed like that It stayed like that and I was like what is happening and I was like am I going crazy and then I didn't say anything I saw it. I didn't say anything and then and then Pete goes yo, what's going on? And then I got scared so like it's not me Yeah, you know, I thought my contacts were fucked up or something and then we go we go to the window and we're looking outside and There's people in the street all looking in this direction and mind you I'm watching this movie now that people are in the street looking at

This thing and then killing themselves and doing watch it and we're like yo, what is going on man? Your lights are off too. That's why everything was off. I called you. Yeah I Face-timed you and I was you were doing the same thing as me looking out the window And you guys were in the dark, so I thought you lost power. Yeah. No, we just had them off Yeah, I've never seen anything like that in my entire life. It was one of the it was so scary It was so scary. We were in my group chat. We're just like 15 of my friends in it My the first kid that wrote name was my friend Eric and he goes Is anyone fucking seeing this I called my mom. She had no idea what was going on

That's another thing. There were other people that were like, nah, I missed it So how'd you miss the sky turning green changing? Yeah, like where are you? It was the most insane thing ever. It was so bright. I've never seen light this bright before It was it was incredible. I got very very scared though, dude I was so scared. I call first of all I call my mom immediately, right because it was in the direction of my mom's house and I call her and I'm like Hey, are you seeing this and she's like what and I'm like, are you serious? She's like what I'm like, ma go the fuck outside and just look up The sky's a different color

Well, what's her reaction to that? Yeah, she walks out. Oh, yeah, basically look at that. She's like, oh my god. That's weird She's like older people are just not afraid of shit like how we are my mom is like so like Accidentally brave. Oh, she has no idea. Would you look at that? I was not I was not brave. Yeah, I was trying to hold together because it was two other grown men here I thank God I wasn't alone. I was alone. I would have jumped out this one though I would have I would have been cool. What is going on? There were people in the streets crying because they didn't know what's going on people thought it was one of my friends thought it was a nuke

like we got bombed and We thought he got nuked We thought we were getting nuked such a queen's reaction to say it's a bomb yo There were people in the streets Yeah, it was one of the careers It was Uzbekistan I've read on Facebook. I've been telling y'all They've been saying it and they did it

Telling y'all you fuck around too much. You got too much debt in this country dog The housing market's coming next China and shit. Yeah, I mean Foreign trade and all of that. You know I mean they got tired of us. Yeah, I told you Call the catches up. Is he like a conspiracy theorist type of dude or was he just that was his honest reaction No, he was honestly scared. He thought it was a nuke like he's not a conspiracy theorist like that He would just he was just like I heard a bang because he lives close. Oh where he heard it Yeah, so he heard a bang and then he sees the sky like that and he's like you'll usually but right as right before a nuke like Fucking kills you that's what happens. It's like silent. There's a flash and a light and then it just comes and wrecks you

You know, he's like I legitimately thought I was going to die like that was it. That's insane I didn't think nuke and a lot of people thought aliens at first to thank God I could see where it was because I know that connet is in that direction Mm-hmm, and when I saw blue I was like that is an electrical fire Yeah, see you got to see that I wasn't lucky enough to see that. No, I saw was a blue hole opening in in the sky Over the bridge. Yeah, so what I'm looking at is you thought aliens you had to have I thought Literally like the first thing that went through my mind was it's the end of the world

Like something's happening like something really bad happening So what I do is I get off I'm looking out of my window And I get off my blinds were down and I'm you know how you could see through your blinds a little bit. Yeah, I Was like it's blue And then I look at the clock and then I'm like it's 10 o'clock. So I Live on the on the Upper East Side. So I thought maybe somebody was filming something and they lit something up So I open my window and I look up and I look I'm like whoa, what is that? I just look down and people are just scattering just running

Picking up their dogs picking up their dog old woman picked up her dog and started running Just started taking off people and now I'm starting to get scared. That would have scared me a lot more I was like, why is everybody running? Why is she running? Should I be running? Yeah? And then I'm like, yo, do I like I don't know what to do. I was like, I don't have any cash I was like what the fuck am I so tired this dog? I was like, I don't know what to do So my doorman's down there and I'm like, yo And I was like, what's going on? He just looks at me. He looks up at me. He's filming things. I don't know. Yeah Yo shit was scary, bro. New York was under attack at that moment

It's funny now because of how scary it was bro, and I'm telling you Yo, I swear to God LaGuardia airport The tweets from the court a airport I try not to fucking do this LaGuardia airport. I tweeted. It's like I gotta land at the LaGuardian three hours And there's no fucking power the best the best to eat with some girl to eat it. She goes Let me calm down. She goes Just just got evacuated from LaGuardia airport

Yo, I couldn't even tell you like people That is one ugly laugh, I'll be honest People are you gonna be so confused as to why we think it's so funny But the only reason why it is so funny is because we were so scared And to think that I would have to be evacuated out of a fucking airport All the lights went off in the airport all of the lights went off Yeah, I'm fucking terrified I would never get on a plane again. Yo, I also saw a tweet that someone was There are three hours

The fear that would overcome me Yo, I read a tweet that said that someone was landing like landing into LaGuardia and they had to pull up No, yes, cuz it was Went out Yo, I literally there was a tweet that said we were landing we're pulling into LaGuardia and we had to pull up like hard That's fucking terrifying yo That's life-changing kind of terror. Oh my god, I don't know if I would recover I don't think I would ever fly again. No

You're fucking going to land Not only that but if you're looking down and all the lights just go out you're like, oh Like what is going on here? Oh my god those poor people Oh my god, oh My god, dude, it was so scary I Love that she tweeted call my one water something. Yeah. Oh Dude, oh my god, I've been so scared. What would you do an emergency? I wouldn't tweet

So here's the thing right like I guess you do tweet to try and get answers Take it easy. I I think that Dude, it's it's so funny because now we know it's nothing. Yeah, dude. Yeah, I did an Instagram live. That's right I was fucking cracking up Just reliving the entire thing again, this is gonna be a good week that I'm gonna be laughing like this. Yeah, probably the mass hysteria of everyone To see the story is trending worldwide on Twitter and then the second one was

Hashtag blue white Yeah, oh my god, oh my god, it's very creepy bro. Yeah, the internet is on the feet of man. Oh Jesus Shit was scary That's that's why it's so funny because I let myself get so scared of this thing. Yeah longest 30 Well, how long you'd say it was like it was like three minutes like three minutes, right? So like I didn't get to it to like halfway through it because I was so afraid

I didn't think to take pictures. I was literally calling people and Then it just went like this and then yeah, then it shut off and it was a complete night again Yeah, so it was almost immediately like no like gradual like no, it was just like boom It went like that and we were like I Was like, yeah, this is like the Truman show. I was like, yes I was like this is all Like this is as fate is the world fake a glitch in the simulation. Yeah, and I was just like yo I need to call someone because if I'm the only one seeing this I need to go to the hospital

We were so what do you do in that situation? You don't know what's going on I literally like so immediately we looked outside. I'm like, you know, what is happening and we're trying to process this Because this is not something that's like normal and you're like, you know, the sky is so bright Yeah, like it almost felt like this can't be a fire No, this can't be whatever and the only way I traveled as much as I did because it was overcast So it's like when it hits the clouds it travels the light doesn't go keep going forward Yeah, like kind of you know what I mean? Like people travel further all that shit from the Bronx people saw that shit from like Westchester

Yeah, they saw from Westchester, New Jersey. It was bright. It was bright as fuck, dude It's just so weird to call someone to be like yo, is the sky blue over there? Yeah, everyone's like, yeah, the only thing that made me feel a little better was that from here I can see into like Jackson Heights East Elmhurst and it was black and it was like dark over there And I'm like, okay, this is like, you know, whatever and immediately I said electrical But I was also still scared and I was like, yo, I don't really know what's going on and then I Remember I kept going like we can't stay here like and I was like I was like I need to put on my sneakers We need to go over there like I was like I need to just go

Oh, yeah, I can't the unknown like freaks me out. No fuck that you got to go see you got to go see I was like, yo, we have to go over there like either like my mom's in that direction Like if we could like help some people or something like I need to put on my sneakers though And then before you know it it was off and I was like, yo, what is going on before you know? Oh Think about like a minute and 30 seconds. Yeah, I remember just being like, yo, I need answers now And not only that but then But then yesterday, I'm sorry

It really was to see people fucking running in the street for no reason Where are they going? They're running a first Avenue It's really crazy to think about like Yeah, it was it was crazy. Yeah, honestly There was a point last night where I thought my life was over and everyone's lives were It's like Like I can't I can't explain why I find this so funny The only thing I can really like chalk it up to is that I was so scared for my life

Yeah, that when someone goes dude, it was just a light. It's like dude You have no idea like the amount of fear that I reached To come all the way back down is just it's a ride. I'm telling you. Yeah, I went so high I need to put my shoes on That is so hysterical Jesus Christ, and then the thing is too It's like if you see a group of people running you want to run too. Yeah, now you're scaring immediately Even if it's like a bro like a nice day What's going on? If I see a group of people running. I am running. Yeah, I'm going with you

I'm not going to see you're braver than me. You were gonna go save people. I would have ran away Figured out what was wrong first and came back for people when I really think about it Like I don't want to save people. No in that moment. I was like we have to go over. You don't even know you're fighting I don't know I was like, you know, I might be aliens. It might be a bomb. I don't know. You think people really think it's aliens Probably but like there's videos of people like it's literally 10 blocks from my mom's where I grew up Yeah, like people found it really close. Yeah, they're right there You can see the thing and it immediately it clicked in my head like that's an electrical fire

You know what it looked like it looked like when Someone's welding something. Yeah, and there's that blue flame. Yeah, and there's white smoke because there was white smoke It wasn't black smoke. So it wasn't a fire. Yeah, see I didn't see any smoke. Yeah, because it wasn't a like a flame fire It was an electrical like Shortage I guess I don't know like a conductor blew up like you ever see in movies when people hot-wired in our car Yeah, there's some smoke. Yeah, it's white because it's electrical. It's not like flames. You don't understand what I'm saying Yeah, I think that's why also it could shut off so quickly. It's that once Just got the fucking power

Do that. I don't know. I guess that's what they did beyond shocked that we lost power for literally a blink of an eye My my everything in my house just went boop Remember like the entire northeast lost power. Yeah, the fucking blackout. That was crazy. That was real. How long was that? Do you remember that was for like a Pro long peer hours upon hours upon hour. I know people went to sleep that night with no power No, it was a long time dude It was home. Let me see and like Hurricane Sandy like I didn't have power for like four days and I lived in West No, yeah, yeah, fuck where's what year was that that was like 12 years ago

2003 Damn, it was that long ago 15 years ago the Northeast blackout 2003 On August 14th, yeah, it was in the summer August August you said August yeah in other areas it took nearly a week or two for power to be restored us. I want to say It wasn't a day it was way longer than that I think we only had about a day and a half of nothing because then I Kept looking at the street lights to see if they would come back on and then when they came back on I knew we had power. I Just want to know how long it was out

In Queens, yeah You guys use more power over here. I was living in Westchester at the time so I Don't know. I know we have conned there, but I don't know I honestly like if it was only a day Like whatever, but I remember Red Cross was up at the school here and had stuff out so we had to go and get food and We had it like there was a pizzeria that was open over here and none of the lights worked or anything But they had like pizza from that day. Yeah

so they were still selling it and they had like a truck in the Parking lot with their headlights on like so people could see inside your hurricane Sandy was bad too though Yeah, we stuck around we were gonna hold down the house me my brother and my dad stayed at the house You lost power, right? No, how nothing nothing happened. I lost power for like four days No, I didn't shower for four days. I we ran out of gas in The car that was the closest to the end of the world that I ever want to get It's crazy. That's another thing the gas my dad was friends with a guy with the electric electrically they couldn't pump Right, whatever they had they had they had so a buddy of mine who worked at a gas station

That's how small the town was he texted me at like 3 a.m. He was like yo come here at 6 a.m With the cannon with your canister and I'll fill it up for you because it's gonna get crazy Yeah, we're running out of gas while waiting for gas and putting their car neutral and pushing it to the fucking shell station Yeah, same. I remember The gas station up the block over here my dad knew the guy who owned it Yeah, so we got hooked up when we were able to like skip the line just like fill up our cars That's amazing because we didn't know how long we were gonna be without you had to get out of here Yeah, I wish I remembered how long it was because it felt like forever

It was free. It was cold as shit. No, it was summer. No, no, it wasn't Hurricane Sandy was not oh sandy Yeah, the blackout was summer. It was hot as shit. Yeah, I remember we were just walking around in the dark Like me and my boys like yeah stupid shit I was like too young to be doing that like we were like playing soccer a little bit But then we came home and I remember like I was sleeping in but we were sleeping in the car because the AC works So you were like 11 or 10 in 2003 I Was 11 you're 11. Yeah, I was 14. That's three years big difference of debauchery Yeah, yeah freshman in of high school in high school

Yeah, like we were trying to like meet up with girls and shit and like just get weird Like drinking shit like we were trying to buy alcohol and shit. Yeah, and what happened was Is that I ended up in a park with my cousin Jonathan and this dude Maddie coops who was a cab driver downstairs and and he got us beer and We just played this this drinking game I don't know if you've ever heard of this drinking game before but it's a sports name drinking game So when you're drinking

Say I say Ken Griffey You have to name a No, no, no, no, you have to name an athlete with the first letter their name is G So you would say like Greg Maddox if you're only doing baseball and then I say Mickey Mantle But if you say Mickey Mantle, it's a send back because it's too because it's too, but you can't stop drinking until you have an answer So you're literally going like this Greg Maddox so you have to like drink while you drink while you think oh I see yeah

Then like if you if you stop drinking you get like penalized you have to finish the beer I was like 14. You shouldn't have been doing that, but Yo shout out Maddie coops I got was the man But uh that blackout that blackout was one of the scariest things But it was kind of cool though because it kind of like brought the neighborhood together. Yeah, and also with Sandy So what we did was we went to Home Depot and we bought Not two by fours, but like big pieces of wood to put in front of my garage because you know before I redid the backyard it

We live at the bottom of the hill So all the water would like rush into our yard for you redid the backyard. Yeah, you got out there got your hands dirty No, I mean I I paid for it I didn't know you could do shit like that but You know it was coming down it would come down and not that we were like Here, but the water as it's coming down and going into the street. It flows into our yard Yeah, so it would flood the house all the time

There was literally one time in the winter where it snowed and there's a bunch of snow in the backyard And then the next day it rained. Yeah, and then that night it froze No, I remember that it was during the Seahawks Cowboys playoff game. I don't know. Yeah I remember it because it happened where I was living at the same place But flooded the entire basement and it was flooding and we couldn't get to Whatever me and all my siblings and everyone we're outside in the backyard in like I would say a foot of water and Like ice this thick terrible and I was barefoot Because that's what that's that's your choice. It was panic mode like there was we literally went downstairs and the rug was wet

We're like, oh fuck. So we ran out into the backyard and when I opened the door. It's like fucking Titanic So I went out there and I had the sledgehammer and I'm fucking Wacking the the ice trying to clear the drain to try and we're pushing all the water out dude I was freezing when I got inside my hands and my feet were beat red. I thought I was gonna have to Amputate not but I'm mr. Deeds That same thing happened. I Was living in a basement of my friend's house at the time and

I wake up from a nap. I was like watch a football and I step I Like in my robe, but like I step a couple steps and I'm like, you know, my feet are wet and it looked down The whole basement was flooded So then I had the same situation where I opened the cellar door and all the water came in Thank we had like a wet vac. We had like four or five people down there My brother Mike was living there too at the time came downstairs didn't help at all He was just like oh damn that's whack and like went back upstairs

And then we just like we're fucking shoveling the fucking water out and shit was terrible. Yeah, it's terrible Yeah, I had to throw Mike under the bus something like so Mike trying to get you on the get you on the show to come talk speaker piece Um Yeah, it's crazy. You ever have like, you know, I used to be really afraid of tornadoes growing up too. Yeah, hell Yeah, there was a tornado in like northern Westchester once and I was like terrified for like a month There was a tornado recently around here really not like a like a tornado No, no, no, but like something like that fucked up a bunch of like how about when it snowed like three weeks ago And fucking trees were falling down all over the place

What? Remember the snow we had in October. No or November. No, dude. We got a huge we had a huge snow How do you not remember this? I got I yeah, I got nothing remember it was the picture I sent you the picture of me covered in snow in the uber my glasses were all fogged up. Yeah Jesus It's like about two months ago. Listen, I went through a lot of a lot last night, right? Yeah, there's only so much trauma one brain can take. Yeah, but I used to be so afraid of like We've probably in New York like I'm not actually worried about it a tornado. No

Because if one even touched down here, like there's not it's not good. It can't be strong enough to even like Get to the point where it's gonna take that fucking house apart. No, but that's one of the pluses of New York. It's like You're good Sandy was bad, you know a lot of people lost their houses and shit, you know people fucking died in that but like Like earthquakes, you don't have to like worry about like really natural disasters We don't really have to worry about that bad. It's just gonna be like a shitty couple of days Yeah, like a hurricane. Yeah, can like get you. Yeah, that's like that was like the worst thing but like natural disasters

I'm terrified of them. So scared like a tsunami And that's another thing when that tsunami hit in like the Philippines or some shit the years ago, do you remember that? Yeah all the animals started running up into the hills because they could sense that The tsunami was coming They could tell If I see a bunch of fucking animals running away from something good night. I'm still running. Yeah, I'm still going to follow those animals That's tsunami killed so many people. Yeah, that shit is fucking terrifying. Yeah That's just shows you how the earth could just be like I could kill all of you if I want. Yeah

It's fucking bugged out, you know, it's scary I didn't like yesterday at all and that wasn't even a natural disaster, you know, it was something there's some dick in the fells even work Who knows what happened over there? We didn't even lose power like I thought you did cuz the lights were off, but No, that was the most genuinely scared. I've been a long time. I Wasn't as scared as I was So Confused because it was unlike anything I've ever seen so I was like I I'm still trying to figure out what I'm looking at here

We did have an earthquake in New York though Like 30 years ago Look look it up look it up, but I'm telling you no no no But can you look at what year it was because me and my dad were sitting watching TV and just goes We're like, whoa, what the fuck was that? Our house is falling down and then we looked at each other. We go. Yeah, was that just an earthquake and it was an earthquake earthquake New York City I

Don't know was it bad. No, it was literally like this I don't it was like a tremor. Do you ever see those ones in California? Sometimes some people are like they're doing the news and we're like today. We're gonna have A Yeah, dude, I can't imagine being in that situation and and like I Am letting out the highest pitch. Oh my god Terrible coward. I'm not being a professional at all during an earthquake. No, I'm grabbing the my closest of kin and I'm leaving There was a fuck out of here dude fucking there was a

There was a earthquake in a like during the World Series once in Oakland and Literally while they're playing it just starts an earthquake starts and The cameras cut and it was like it was like a huge earthquake. What was this in the 80s? I think Yeah, I'm quakes are scared are probably the scariest one to me and Like tornadoes are scary, but like I'm not afraid of tornadoes. Just get away from it Yeah, yeah You know But here's Helen Hunt did it. It was easy. I know she was chasing him. She was driving into him

I don't mean to be like sad on here But like I remember like Oklahoma City had like real bad tornadoes and like like crush the school and shit Like you can't predict the tornado. Can you? No, you can't like that's you know, obviously like a vacuum There's no there's no, but It would really have to sneak up on you where it's like we had no idea. It was even possible Yeah, that's why there's like warnings now where it's like there is this wind Coming if it touches the floor, it's gonna be a tornado. It could be fun. It could fuck your ass Yeah, you know and and in New York, that's exactly what the notification says. Yes

So guys if this touches down your asses consider them fucked But in New York if something touched down it, it wouldn't be like a cat five tornado No, I don't even know if that's how you measure probably not probably not Bill Paxson would know better than I would yeah But if one touchdown over here, it wouldn't have enough strength because there's just not enough Like momentum for them to like that's why it happens in like tornado Valley and shit Like there's a lot of open space and like there's room to like kick up. Yeah. Yeah, but it's just like To me. I'm like well if I see it and it's destroying houses and whatnot

I think that's the worst part too is I can't imagine losing your entire home Like do you when you if you get sucked up a tour into a tornado? Do you die in the tornado or do you die when it throws you? I? Don't have the answer. That's like a chicken or the egg question I thought I think that when you get sucked up into a tornado You're gonna bring shit. It's gonna hit you Yeah, you know die Yeah

God that is weird way that is a horrible way to go Yeah, also For a second. It's cool. Yeah, the first second. Yeah, but yeah, it's that's it's terrible dude like I have such a weird way of dealing with all this stuff like I know No, no, that's why I was laughing so much before because it's like like fear like I could only laugh at it like because if if I don't I'm gonna manifest it in something that it isn't and make it even worse Yeah, man, you know and I feel like I feel like a lot of people when it comes down to stuff like that Everyone kind of reacts the same

You're scared and then you can't wait to just talk about it with other people Because you know why it's like it was so scary. Yeah, but it was so dumb. Yeah, and that's why it's hilarious Yeah, it's like you know, I freaked out for that. Yeah, that's that's the funniest part like This is gonna be a good week in New York where everyone's just talking about it Yeah, like everywhere you go like I'm gonna go get a haircut later probably and like I know like my barber's gonna bring it up You know, you see that shit cause you know that shit was crazy cuz I'll just be like, yeah, dude It was fun. Yeah, I thought I was dead. Yeah, I thought we're all getting sucked up I can't wait to hear like all the alien conspiracies like theorists. I'm gonna go on record here. Oh god

My belief in aliens has Grown I Used to be like there's no way. There's no chance. There's no chance. I think that's that I think to be either way I I'm leaning more towards them being real and here's why the universe is so big big so big that you're telling me that We're the only thing out there That just happened to have this perfect flick of the wrist type of shit Yeah, you know I'm saying fucking lip and work and then like when we just come out

Yeah, you know and then even on the deeper thing. It's like I Think like there's probably like another I Don't want to go this deep cuz I don't want people think I'm weird But I am weird, but it's like a like a different universe where people are like probably way more like evolved than us Yeah, or less who knows All right before we move on let's get to the sponsors for today

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Yeah boy print is a company that basically sends you a package in the mail with pre-portioned meals and you know I was gonna say directions, but like a recipe like a step-by-step a recipe of how to cook it So it's not just like, you know, you get the food and it's like done You got to actually cook it so you get like the knowledge of how to cook these meals and you get the recipe that you get to keep And everything comes pre-portioned. So they make it a very easy

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Anyway, do you believe it? Do you believe in like other like like there's definitely another plan of with like something like people on it Because I think I think we are one of a kind people We oh you mean like humans, but I think there's other things like life sources like out there Sure, I can't see why there wouldn't be yeah Why I just like I can't it's hard to put like, you know what it is I just can't think about it cuz I can't I does nothing for me can't even fathom it because the only thing it will do is either drive me nuts. Yeah, it would make me scared and terrified and Whatever like I'm just trying to have some of my fun. It's like it's up there with like John do my time

All right, I'm really just trying to put in my 85 years. Is it up there? Damn, dude. If I make the 85 I'll suck everyone's dick But uh, it's another thing though, too though. It's like Dying though, that's another one what like what happens when you die fuck knows I like I can't I can't I used to be all the time like I Went through a phase where I thought about it a lot YouTube shit. I didn't YouTube anything I just thought about yeah, like what happens is like like chemically in your brain when you die Like what do you feel and then I remember nice? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? I went all the way and like then at one point I was like this is the most useless research

I've ever done in my life. None of this is gonna keep me alive longer Now I just know that I'm gonna die More and more. I was like this terrible. Yeah, I just like I refuse to be consumed by that thought But you were at one point, huh? You were at one point not consumed, but it definitely like I Was starting to question and really started and then I see I started to see what it would do to me where I'm like It would take up so much of my Like time I know that I'm like, what am I doing? It's just it's just so weird that we all go around with the suppressed What the suppressed knowing that we're all gonna die

We're fine. No, we're fine. We're good No, everything's great. How you doing man? I'm dying. I'm having a good day Another day close to death sir another day closer to death. I'm doing good Is that weird though? Like as a people we've learned to like kind of like just like tuck it away over here for a little bit It's normal because if you look at other It's part of it. If you look at animals, they die. They just die. Yeah, they die I don't give a fuck us. It's like we got to do all this stuff. We want to hang around for an extra 30 weeks Yeah, I'm saying put me in a box. Look at me like I'm an animal. Yeah, Jesus Christ

Oh, I'm a fucking museum exhibit. So I'm saying I think I want to be cremated And then smoked no no no I want to be cremated and like dumped in like The the the warning track Yankee Stadium. I want to be cut up into 50 pieces and then buried in each state That's pretty cool. Like a tombstone. Yeah, very costly very costly. You know tombstones. Ah Why are you doing that to people? It's a supply and demand thing You know it like people aren't gonna stop dying so you can jack the price up and make it whatever you want See, yeah, but I don't want to put my family through that. Just just turn me into a tree or something

Play like dump your your ashes into a tree makes my ashes and some tree soil throw it in the ocean Yeah, you don't want to be the ocean. I mean, I would have mind being in the ocean But I don't yeah, you know what I could be in those because then I would get like eat by some fish Then you know, I become like a part of the circle of life By something in the circle The circle Oh He's the best. Yo, I love John. Well, we should go Sam

Yeah, hold on. Let me knock on his door. What the fuck you mean? He's at the garden on March 5th, dude He's doing a tour. Yeah, it's his last one of all time. He's never touring again Yeah, I had no idea. I'm super down to go to that. Yeah, I'm getting gay for that ultra gay I'm gonna wear a weird outfit. Yeah, I'll get gay pink blazer. Yeah piano tie Do they still make piano ties? I don't know but I would cop one for sure hell Yeah, just to have anyway, not even for the color right where sunglasses in the shape of a star. Yes I gotta wear those for Elton. Elton John probably guys

So gay and it's probably had sex with more women I'll ever like see with my eyes just for fun too for like for sport just to try just to mix it up Yeah, so too many penis in here get some boobies. I know veggies for me And then and then he just did a bunch of Cocaine off of them and just made amazing music with your favorite Elton John song Mine's Daniel Daniel your a star Mine's probably your song or tiny dancer or fucking goodbye yellow your song break That's a great one

But your song is great That's a great song I know I feel gay right now. I want to go to that concert. So bad Daniel my brother He crushes the thing thing thing thing he crushes the piano you are older than me do you still feel the pain? Well, there's cows that won't heal your eyes have died that song is amazing. We're definitely on Elton Yeah, hell. Yeah, I'm gonna sing the shit of it. Remember when he's like performed with fucking Eminem. Yeah, it's not so bad It's not so bad Oh

He always would say shit like that deer slim Yeah, I can't see at all. He was the best They did that because Eminem was dropping the F word like crazy back then. Yeah, you know heavy heavy on the You know hard tee. Yeah on that. That's when you could still say I didn't mean it I didn't mean it in that way You I thought about the other day like you don't hear people say faggot anymore and once last time you heard it He he said it He called he called time of the creator. Oh, yeah, that's right. And then you apologize. Yeah. Yeah

You don't really hear it though Like I feel like in older movies you would just hear it It would be in the movie or it would be like in a song rap songs and like you know I'm saying or like in your middle school Isn't it We're being real. I mean No one gave a shit, which is just crazy to think about. Yeah, how like fucked up that is that you could be in class and Like some the kid who raised his hand like hey We didn't you didn't check the homework and someone's like

And then the teacher was like hey enough rough housing everyone laughs. Yeah, and then all right. Let's go back to class Yeah, there was no and then meanwhile this fucking poor kid is probably gays go home goes home and cries He's got people calling him a faggot in class. No repercussions. No nothing. Oh So it was just swept under the rug. That's just so weird that like we were like that last era would be like that's gay All right, take it easy. Hey settle down. You have a project this week. Okay? Yeah, and then you should be like Danny come on. All right, it's not that bad It'll take two days to do they get more mad about you like not wanting to do the project

Then you actually saying that's gay. It's it's so like different of like Where we grew up and where it is now where it's like if you say that now We're like, oh you call someone like a faggot in your class Your parents probably get called up like there's this whole thing and then like you got to go to like at least eight seminars Yeah, you have to do like some time like And so you do some classes some hours. Yeah, like it's it's it's wild like how far we've like It was also so easy to get out of that. You should be like, I didn't mean it Dude, it's so realistically. You don't know

You don't know what you're saying You don't know what you're saying and you don't know the pain that you you're inflicting on somebody when you're 10 years old Especially back then. Yeah when you're 10 And it's like this is just something that everyone says and like I don't know The history of gay people and them being discriminated against and you know, why this word's bad and why this why that No, you're just a dumb idiot. You're just a kid and it's like I just say this because it's like whatever, you know and then That you grow up and you're like that's so fucked up. Yeah, like why are we doing that?

part of it like It's super cringey to like think about it, but then it's like dude you're a kid though Yeah, it'd be different if you were still screaming it now. Yeah, I know, you know, but there is still always a part of you It's like, oh, yeah, I was a part of that era Yeah, I mean that's definitely something that I've said before in the past and I always used to be like, you know Like music doesn't influence people to like do stuff. Definitely does it definitely does Because listen those M&M records have me saying that word a lot A lot

It was just something not in a malicious way. Yeah, but I was it was definitely a part of my vocabulary I definitely had some influence. Yeah, I think that uh It's kind of like This is gonna be stupid, but it's kind of like smoking cigarettes Where back in the day everyone smoked cigarettes because there wasn't a whole lot of like yeah Science behind the reasons why you're gonna die. You're shaving Days off of your life right when you smoke cigarettes, right? So everyone just like did it But then now like no one really does it anymore

Because there's a lot of knowledge. It's like dude, you know why and you know whatever blah blah blah So it's like in this day and age to like that's why Saying faggot when like back in that not that it was okay But it was like I don't fucking like I don't know anything and then the pc culture kind of took over for a good reason, right? You know, maybe you know, they take it a little crazy sometimes But in this instance, it's like now you're more educated obviously you're older and like you start to realize like dude

Like Am I really gonna fight to the death for this word? Like do I really need to say this? Yeah, you know I'm saying and it's also one of those things. It's like You had your time with it You had your fun in the sun. I just gotta let it go at some point I just don't I could be this age like like if I was gonna curse you out That's not the first thing that's gonna come to my head. No Yeah, I've I've I've I'll call you a bitch

Damn, but like is that like is that like no, I think yeah, some people don't like that I mean, yeah, you don't know and likes getting called anything. No, no, no, but I mean like is that like Derogatory towards women. Yeah to call somebody a bitch I don't think so. I don't know. I don't know what I don't know what to say anymore I don't know What I will say though is that they're never taking fuck or shit away from me. You never never try to do that Heads are gonna roll All right, I need shit. I need shit. I could go without fuck

But I can't go without fuck Wait, what I was just Oh, I need fuck. I need fuck. You need fuck. What's your your favorite curse word shit though? I'm a fuck guy God, there was a lot of power behind that one. Yeah, it fucks a powerful ass word It is There's a lot of power because like if like if something happens. I'm like fuck I don't go shit

Oh, look at this shit. Oh, look at this shit. Uh, your mother's shit. Oh, yeah, cock sucking fuck. Yeah. Yeah I never say the cunt word ever No, no, I don't like it. I love how you just spelled cunt, but you said fag it like three minutes ago I said it a bunch too. No, no, but we're saying it in a context context context context people You can't wait until someone just chops it up and makes it so I know I know right now you gave them the idea Now they're gonna do it. But like, um, it it's hard to think back Because realistically like How old are you now 27? Oh, I'll be 27 February. I'll be 30

13 years ago is a long time. Yeah, you were like a fully functional Person at 14. You know what I mean? Like You could remember stuff and you could remember how dumb you were even but even at 14 I would still say you're an idiot. No, no, no, but like at 14. I think it was still like No one really cared if you Said the f word no because like people were still saying it and like rap songs and shit. You notice really in rap songs Yeah

Like they don't say like they don't do that shit anymore Yeah, I just feel like the reason why I compared it to smoking cigarettes is because now that you know How like it's more in your face, especially with social media. It's like you can now Find anything you want any group of people any like and see like if it is how offensive it could be And how it makes certain people feel like I have no attachment to like any word really that would be like Oh, I'm never gonna say like oh, I'm saying it because blah blah blah like I don't want to fucking offend anyone or make anyone feel like shit No, like that's the last thing I want to do like I'm a I'm a bitch when it comes to that or I'm like

I feel terrible like I like I'm soft like when it comes to that shit So I was like, I never want to actually hurt anyone's feelings So if I'm gonna like I'm not gonna defend this like thing where I'm like, oh, I don't mean it in that way I mean it in this other way when I grew up. It's a different thing and blah blah douche you can't Yeah, like that's expired too I grew up in it. Yeah, you know what I mean? Even that's expired I just feel like now that like you grew up in this environment where you you know how offensive it it could be to people

Yeah, because I also I have uh some gay friends that aren't offended by it. No, and they're like it's whatever I have gay friends that use the word But then it's like You know what I mean, but like I don't know. I don't know. It's it's definitely reached that level though where it's like it's it's out Yeah, that's why like again, I'm trying to get to my fucking point. I'm sorry. No, it's not you. It's me I uh like I compared to smoking cigarettes because it's like for you to start smoking cigarettes When now you have all the information about it is ridiculous. Yeah, like not that it was

Less dangerous back then but you just didn't know so it's like I get why you think it was like good for them Right, right. So then uh like children were like smoking at the dinner table and shit Um now it's the same thing Like you know how this offends people and what it does and how derogatory it is And you're still just gonna like fight to the death to be able to say it like You're gonna pull out like the first amendment on me. Like are you kidding me? No, that's I mean At the end at the end of the day, it's that's why you could really only just do what you wanted You wanted to do. Yeah, because like with social media

And you will never win an argument on social media. No, don't do it Okay, because you will not win. It's impossible. It is impossible. You will not win. Just turn your phone off because People are so hard Either way if you're in the middle, just stay out of it. Just stay out of it when it comes to social media I mean if you're doing and you're fighting for it in real life and going out there and doing shit Bravo to you, but like a social media. Don't even get involved Yeah, I I very rarely You know, I don't really use twitter anymore

But like what I used to go hard at people though Yeah, because I have opinions and I like I don't like the Kendall like the Kylie Jenner thing Like you like you went hard on some people with that. Yeah Like you pick you pick and shoot like you'll go you'll go I just really because like the Kardashians to me are an easy target Like I always defend them not because I like them But just because people say stupid things about them, right? And it's like you are clearly just hating on success here

There's no other reason. It's like even if they have no talent, right? They're still successful Right. There's nothing to learn. They found a way to do it. Yeah, like dude people go viral People put out sex tapes people do whatever but they don't do what that family does Like to think that they're just like flying by the seat of their pants is absurd to me and it's just like I try not to go super hard But I present questions that no one has fucking answers for me for yeah, but you do it on social media though No, I know that's your that's your biggest mistake. Yeah, I don't get worked up about it But no, but you're looking for like clarification on social media. It's not gonna come

I just want people to just feel dumb because like people will say things I'll have something back and then they won't answer me, right because I'm like, there you go You're fucking wrong You know I just always feel like it's unwinnable like like I won't do it Because if I go all in I'm fucking mean, dude I'm not mean. See that I'm fucking mean. See like I'll fucking I'll go through your old shit. I'm a master arguer Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I grew up arguing. So it's like

I'm gonna do whatever I can even if I lose. I'm taking a part of you with me The party's coming with me when I when I'm in an argument I feel like the person who gets angry first loses Yeah, when you start saying mean things, it's like you have drifted from the point Right not mean like mean things are just being loud and just being like you fucking loser like ending it. Well, that's Now you're personally attacking somebody. Well, yeah, but we argued about Tekashi 69 And I got fired up about that because I knew what was gonna happen to him You know, yeah, and you were just like nah, like

He's different. I was like, he's not though No, you were saying that he was dumb the moves he was making were dumb, but I was saying like But we were both right I was more right. You have to admit. I was more right. No, I don't I don't say that Why because here's what we were arguing about I you said the fact that he was staying and like doing all this gang shit with you know, whoever and like Blah blah blah still involved in the streets. That's gonna get him in trouble one day. He's either gonna get killed or he's gonna uh

Go to jail. Yeah, you know and you're like he's dumb for that and I was saying He's smart also at the same time because he knows what he's doing He trolled his way to the top of the rap game And the fact that he was leveraging that gang shit and that persona whatever also Pushed him there, too So I was saying he was smart for using it because it was you know, whatever You were saying he was it was dumb because eventually he's gonna get in trouble. We're both right

I mean he Yeah, but when you say he trolled his way to the top of the rap game, you also had to say that he trolled his way into prison as well Well, yeah, no, but he did he was at the top. Yeah It's just it's just it's just I look at people like that glorified like gang culture in in rap, right the game From day one. What was he always talking about? Bloods He's out

Well, I don't know I don't say I don't see him locked up There's smarter ways that you could do that. Yeah You know what I'm saying like snoop is a Crip Has a show with martha stewart. Yeah, it's a different probably killed the man Just put it out there Probably murdered someone beat the case and that was making cakes with martha stewart I would love to make a cake with martha stew. I would too

Do you know how much I love cooking shows? Yeah, uh, I used to go all out on cooking shows and then I realized that I wasn't doing any cooking Like I feel like cooking shows are good if like you actually try to cook But you don't it's just unproductive. It's unproductive for me. But I just like watching people make stuff It's I love looking at beautiful food. I consider food art I don't know what people out there think but I think What they do on some of those shows is considered art. Of course it is so like um

When I when I look at that it's like I would love to be a part of that and like learn how to do that But I'm never gonna learn how to fucking do that. Yeah, no No, unless you're gonna show up martha stewart I would love to be on rachel ray and she's like today. We're gonna and she's just fucking You know, she's got five different pots rachel ray would love you for some reason. Why I don't know I feel like you and rachel ray would hit it off. I feel like I feel like you could I Potentially be on that show. I'd marry her. Yeah She's cool. I'm fuck

Hey, that's my wife you're talking about. I'm sorry. I'm just saying rachel ray. You know, she's down the earth She's rachel ray. She's rachel fucking ray. She's cooking. She's been cooking for a long ass time too. Well, yeah She ought to be lurentis though. She won. She ought to be lurentis. Do you know her? No, she's got big old taters Cooking show knocks. Yeah, nice I just like like can't have too big of a tits in the kitchen There's no there's no shame in you can't hit shame in the kitch. I'm not tits shaming in the kitch But what I am saying is that sometimes you got to tape those puppies down because when you're working with fire and some hot plates You can get yourself hurt. Well, put the hair up put the hair up put the titties down. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say

I hear you. I'm saying not let them, you know, yeah, don't let them run around the yard. Don't shame titties around me Oh, I'm hey, I'm with you. I'll march for titties. I Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Yes. All right. That's that's soft. That's soft subject with me. Yeah All right, I can tell you were at like a two. I really don't want to see you go higher than a seven No, no, no, I'm just saying try loyally around titties. That's that's You're good. You're good. You're good. I'm just saying yeah But like I could never watch a cooking show and be like all right

So I get the onions You ever see like someone cut a cucumber thin as fucking? Yeah, and how you do that when you cut how do you cut stuff? Like this dudes, what do you mean? You don't do this? Oh like onions and stuff like small things I cut you cut with your fingers here You got to tuck your you got to tuck your fingers in I'm trying to think How do I cut like it because if you're cutting like this you have way like you're gonna cut yourself But if you do it here I do that for smaller things like onions or something. I'll cut garlic and stuff

Yeah, like that I'll do that but like with cucumbers. I think I just like cut it like a fucking loaf of bread Because they're big. Yeah that that you do but like another thing is like There's like techniques to cooking Like literally like if you turn a steak like two seconds before it's gonna fuck up the entire taste It's so crazy. Isn't that weird the other day me Pete and Espo got uh, can you make a steak like a good steak? How hard is it to make a steak? I I look it up how to do it and it's like you literally cook it on one like minute for one and then the other minute

Like it's not hard to make steak. It's more about what kind of steak. I guess you have Yeah, I mean you pay for like what I mean I'm sure there's ways to make steak in an amazing fashion. Please don't go crazy. Don't steak shame us. Yeah all the fucking chefs out there are like Oh, you Like it's all about the rub. Yeah rub You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you probably take your steak out of the fridge and put it right into the pan You don't even let it reach room temp. Yeah, this is dry age from Sweden 12 years coffee coffee rub

Yeah, take it easy. We know we know but Cooking that I mean What do you think you're the best cooking at? I don't think I'm the best cooking anything Yeah Like I wouldn't be like this is my best dish. I make really good stuffed meatballs Stuffed meatballs. Yeah, what do you put in them mushrooms and cheese? Yeah

You haven't me everyone says mozzarella cheese differently. I mozzarella mozzarella. I said mozzarella and then it's like I say well, you're tallying too. How did your dad say it? What mozzarella cheese yeah, uh, he says he says Muzare. He's a Muzarel. Muzarel. Yeah, I say Muzarel Manigot Manigot, um, I don't even know how to say that like in an american way. I think it's manikot Manikot. It's called manikotty. Yeah Yeah, manikotty

I have no idea how to say it like Mannigot can I get a manikot? Uh Bruchetta Bruchetta bruchetta. I just say bruchetta. I say bruchetta. I say yeah, I say mozzarella Yeah, I don't say mozzarella. I say it you say ricotta. No, I say we're good really got that. Yeah, I say we're good or Yeah, there's a couple but like Like you say brujut. Yeah, who says brujuto if you say prosciutto to me I'm gonna I'm gonna prosciutto you prosciutto with a gun your fucking face. Yeah. Yeah, prosciutto and then a

Bacala So it reminds me the office episodes, I'll have the gobbled What was that I will have the gobbled cool, you know, you know, he means the gobbled cool but uh, yeah, I just feel that's how I grew up saying it but like Bruchetta. Yeah, but I'm I'm not gonna be like I'm marinara Yeah, I'm not gonna like do shit like that. You know what drives me crazy Bruchetta bruchetta Like it's bruchetta

Hey, we were so American all of a sudden they have one word. That's all super Italian. It's like yo, can you pass the Parmesan. I say Parmesan. Yeah, Parmesan. I'll say Parmigiana. Can I get Parmesan cheese? Parmigiana Listen, it's Parmigiana, you know, the people who have like the the Italian Boxing gloves hanging from their rear view. They fucking say that box day in their life. Yeah, never Italia, Luca Tony. Do you call sauce or gravy? We call the gravy growing up. You just spit on my table Don't do that. That's disgusting even though it's yours. That's hot. Yeah

That's making it. Yeah, I Say sauce I said, hold on. This is what was gonna bother me We say we say gravy though. I have my dad my dad grew up cooking. So like they call the gravy so tomato sauce Yeah, what do you call it? tomato sauce, but like if it's in like Like if it's in a jar It's sauce. It's sauce, but like when it's cooked. It's I call it gravy. Yeah, that's wrong, but uh But it's like that's an Italian thing. Do you say red sauce? No, I hate that you have no idea

Yeah, I got get some pasta with red sauce. What yeah people eat pasta with ketchup Yeah, I'm a big ketchup guy, you know that and that's a little crazy. Yeah, some people do it. It's disgusting Um, I know people that only eat pasta with butter I've done that well when I'm like sick and like trying to get over like something I'll have just like butter on pasta because like Ravioli with butter Yo, Ravioli's are amazing. I used to go to Arthur Avenue. I had butter squash ravioli. Oh, they're amazing Yeah, you ever have lobster ravioli. You don't eat. You don't eat lobster. No, I don't it's very good though

Yeah, I heard lots of right raves or fire squid ink ravioli. I would have ink Yeah, they're black raviolis Wait inside is black. No the ravioli. It's like squid ink ravioli. I would try lobster ravioli though I'm telling you get it from Stu Leonard's. It's so fucking good Stu Leonard's. It's not a fucking like supermarket. Yeah No, I want to get it at like a restaurant And make it yourself A bruschetta, a bruschetta pommes ja, la marina Pazzaria, a pazzaria, pazzaria. No red sauce. I gotta hate that so much

Sparkling. What? No, I'm like, uh, dude, you know it's great, too You ever go down to our Italian restaurant and like do you want to hear the specials? And you're like sure and this guy sounds like he just got here eight minutes ago We got a manganita hunter in my sabahina, so I'm telling you So it's a flown in there from Venice. It is a cut a little butchallini in a slice of butchernara And you start going It's a good song. I think this guy's singing to me at the time. I was like the fuck is the fucking you said the menu like this

You always have the menu like this you look across the person. Yeah, yeah Yeah, oh That sounds nice. Yeah Oh The pasta figlioli is prepared with the side of it in the parmigiana in the slice of the baklava right over the top It's a meat. Oh my god Calamari, I feel like fucking Calamar

Italians always add like extra parts of words that don't exist. Calamari. It's like wait what? I thought it was calamari Well, when I was in Italy, it was frisante was uh frisante was like sparkling water. Oh Isn't that like a brand? Yeah. Yeah, but it's like That's what everyone call like that is on that is the They'll bring you Pellegrino if you say like Italian so beautiful. It's beautiful It sounds like you're singing when we were walking around like in Italy and hearing people just talk it was like One of the most beautiful things like walking around museums and like here people speak Italian fluent Italian is gorgeous Maybe feel like such a piece of shit. I'm walking over here like oh, where's the museum?

Man, we have to stand on this line Picasso, I did get to see Picasso's paintings up front though, which was pretty fire. I'm impressed by her No, you really not No, that's not true. I'm impressed by art not abstract art because I can't I don't understand it I'd like to get to know yeah, but I don't I don't know we talked about this once before I just I don't know I'm looking at I can't I'll show you that book that I was here. It's like it's the art of understanding art Well, yeah art there. Yeah, it's a good buck though helps it helps you like figure shit out But it's pretty good. It's pretty good dude whenever you go to someone's house

Mm-hmm and their mom or their grandma's cooking and They're they have their hands are filthy. Mm-hmm with like everything. They're cooking. You're like this is gonna be delicious Yeah, the dirtier you are the better the food if your grandma has gross hands God this is gonna. Yeah, and then the grandma doesn't eat by herself like in the corner after everyone's eating it like 1130 Yeah, and she's like cleaning she has an apron on the entire time real slow. You're just like what's going on? Yeah? Yeah, chefs never eat. Yeah, you buy themselves in the corner. Yeah Relax grandma I'm going to eat. I'm going to eat you are force-feeding me. All right, okay. I'm one weight watchers. All right I'm diabetic

Yes, you're so skinny you're going to die Me let me tell you that you was a big and now you are small It's like yo grandma take it easy right you're not even my grandma and I'm calling you grandma My mom's a phenomenal cook too. Yeah, but I feel like everyone says their mom is a phenomenal cook now Like I've had your mom's food and it's very good. Yeah, but like I feel like everyone says like their mom's food is like the best two things My mom doesn't cook my dad cook my dad throws down. Yeah. Yeah And he cooks Italian and Spanish food nice. Yeah, so you fucking No, but my mom crushes it like to the point where like a lot of people like they love coming over for dinner and shit

like she she kills it but like I Feel like everyone says two things one. Oh, yeah, my mom's best cook in the world and two. Oh, yeah My dad's mad scary. You don't want to meet my dad. Yeah, you ever have girls say that to you Like oh my god, I'm so nervous to my dad like one time this girl that was like seeing was like Oh my god, if you see my dad like, you know, just like whatever shake his hand and like, you know, it's whatever This guy was fucking he's like Two inches shorter than me and I outweigh him. I'm like, what am I scared of this guy? Yeah This is a little twinkie guy. I'll have sex with you and then him. Yeah, at the same time

I'm scared of your dad Cuz he slicks his hair back and smokes the cigar in the backyard. Yeah, good fuck out of here I never like also if it's like, hey, my dad's scared like I don't want to be with you then My dad's scary, yeah, yeah, well, I'm gonna find someone whose dad isn't scary. Was he Voldemort? Yeah How scary can he be? Oh, he has a tattoo and like has a Harley. I'm like, okay Yeah, is he Jack's teller? Yeah, Jesus Christ. Is he murdering? Yeah, if your dad like hasn't done like at least four years in jail, he's not scary Or like under investigation like by the FBI, yeah, don't don't play up your dad too much

My dad's mean that's great. Yeah, did you say you should have grew up at my house? Yeah, guess what? So is everybody else's dad my dad whoop my ass. Yeah My dad is not a scary person though. Like my dad's a nice guy My dad would never like intimidate somebody ever. No, my dad, you know, he's a bitch. Yeah I don't think he would be like when Shannon Had boyfriends in high school. Was he like no, my dad is one of the most like he'll bust your balls Yeah, but he'll be but he'll like he's nice about it. Yeah, like he won't be like the fuck are you doing here? But he'll be like do the dishes

You know like I can't I just can't see myself being an asshole If I have a dog if I have a daughter and like you're gonna do like the bad boys two thing like Who the fuck is ready motherfucker? You look 30. I don't want anybody having sex in my house though I don't I don't want to hear you get banged If I have a daughter, I'm gonna sound proof her room Don't get banged in the in the silent. Okay. I don't hear you get banged. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no Hopefully bird box happens for we have kids relax

Live we'll make it down the river. Yeah, but then I gotta close my eyes every time I go outside I want to say I like seeing a nature. Yeah, it's nice. I Don't want to spoil it, but I had a great joke I don't know. Yeah, Joe, where can I find you? We're gonna find you You're sitting in the in the host chair now. I know I know I got promoted to the good camera the good camera Cuz I got like a nice little pimple on my lip. It's all right. You guys will find it It's on this side part of growing up. You'll probably see it part of growing up No, um before before we get out of here though. Yeah, do you have any New Year's plans?

No, I don't have anything I don't have anything to do. I think I'm stay home. I Don't want to go out at this point because here's why like I'm probably gonna be moving out of my apartment And this would be like our last New Year's in that apartment So like I might just like chill there. Yeah It's like I spent all this money to like make my like entertainment system and like Make myself comfortable at home to like go out and do what I don't drink Like everyone gets sloppy drunk on New Year's. I don't like it. That's the only thing

I hate is that you they get sloppy sloppy. I'm over that dude like I hate these designated. I hate st. Patrick's Day I've only done st. Patrick's Day once and it was one of the worst times in my life I almost pissed myself on paint st. Patrick's Day. Yeah, like I could find a bath. It's it's those are like disgusting holidays to me Yeah, I don't like them. I don't like drinking holidays anymore. That's for the like 18 19 20 21. Yeah, get after it. Go for it Go crazy. Go crazy. I I actually encourage it. Are you gonna you'll end up going out? I don't know. I might just like go hang on my mom's and just like she would like that. That's nice Yeah, we might just do that or like, you know, I used to go to Frankie's every single year He has a house party all the time, but I'm not going out. No, go hang out with Charlie

I'm never doing that again. Like I won't go to what bar. No, cuz it's packed Covers. Oh, everything's open bar and it's like, yeah, they oh it's open bar. Everyone has open bar So now you're just waiting online. It's like an easy pass. It's six flags. Everyone has the easy path Yeah, you're just waiting online like an asshole. Yeah, I don't want to do that And the other thing is is like, I don't want to leave my dog home alone it till 430 in the morning. Yeah I'm over it. I'm over it Over it was that me jumping over something. Oh cool. Ellen John coming out through the end of the show Magic pulled you up on stage and let you sing with him

He's so dope son That'd be fire How much money would you pay for that to happen? With a realistic amount that you can afford right now like five like five five grants Five six G's. I'd just be like, yo, like Let's sing Daniel together And I just sit by the piano. I would lay on the piano Like on top on top of it and take a shirt off put an apple on your mouth like this

Just like this and watch sir Elton's saying and I would sing along with him That would be insane I would do it for Billy Joel and Ellen John We should go see Billy Joel too though Billy Joel crushes it. I went with my family when you go like last year She go again. It's fucking awesome. Oh, he's doing New Year's Eve at the garden. Yeah, no, thanks. Yeah me going into Manhattan You know, they shut it off. You can't go. Yeah, it's like impossible You know, I was working at Caroline's they close off the streets Like you had to get a shuttle bus to like come to the party You know that on New Year's when they drop that ball once you go in you can't leave no and you

People like piss themselves. You're there for hours Like I don't want to see Jenny McCarthy kiss a sailor like I don't need to fucking see that. Yeah, no, you know what I mean I'm all set, you know, I don't see Michael Strahan Tiki Barber like I don't even see these fucking people. Yeah The ball You know didn't they put snooki in it once in what yeah, they put snooki in a ball They did not put snooki inside the ball I swear to you they she was in a ball on top of the fucking on top of Times Square No, no, but they put her in a ball that dropped

Watch snooki New Year's ball drop. There was actually one year where I Was invited to this thing. It was like a penthouse in the city and it was a couple of blocks from Times Square It was like the the block that the hotel was on you actually had to like Tell the cops like yo, I'm staying at this place Really show them something. Yeah, and then they let you on the street to go there because there's no one on the street And then you you would just go and it was like it was kind of cool, but like What are your thoughts on July 4th? I like 4th of July because usually I'm in Connecticut. I love being in Connecticut like it's quiet. You guys get fireworks

Yeah, nothing like insane I'm a dude in New York City fireworks this year. I think they're on the east side this year. Well Because you did come last year to my place. I don't think we weren't working together Last July. Yeah, people were. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we were Where the fuck were you? We're like four months in a deaf one. Yeah No, I had everyone over. No, I don't even know where I was Maybe the hospital. Yeah, actually I might have been in the house. No, I don't think so. No, no, no, no, no, I was out Fresh out fresh out. Yeah, I don't know. I don't bail for shadow jail. Why did you stop drinking? I've been sober for a hundred and forty days

I know you made that number up. No, I'm not today. It's not a round number Yes, it is because it started on yeah on Sunday. It is going to be Because I started on what week one week one. I've been sober for 17 weeks Where what month is that? Whenever the first Giants game was. Oh, so probably September September 11th or 9th or 9th So you were drinking even in July. How would you not come over? Yeah, I was still drinking in July. We would got messed all the way up We played like a bunch of drinking games and then from my roof in Long Island City. You could see like the The fireworks perfectly. I'm trying to see I don't even know how many days clean I am

Guys banging her on I Don't know I've been sober for all of December all of November all of October. That's 90 I'm over a hundred days sober 140 was a round number. Yeah tried to sound cool like you I thought I thought it's more. It's like it's more like 120 Yeah All right You think you can go 120 days sober If I absolutely had to yeah, I think you could do it. Yeah, but I don't there's no way you would make it

It's zero chance. I don't want to you would have incentive. You would need incentive to do it. I Really don't know what incentive other than your life is in danger. Yeah, that I would do it Yeah, four months is a is a long is a long time Is that your watch going off right now? Yes My mom had like a little procedure today was my dad. Nice. Yeah. No, it's a probably in this I forgot what I was saying, but if I if I had to I could give it up 30 days easily. Yeah, you know 30 days is 30 days. Yeah, but I feel like that's the hump

nah You're way over the hump though, I'll tell you this I'm way over the hump in terms of and this is for anyone that has Drinking problems or whatever. Maybe you could relate but I'm over the hump in terms of like I can go out and like not want to Drink and not and not be like oh my god. I need that in my mouth Yeah, you know, but like there are days where like I'll be walking by and I'll see like a blood light and I'll be like Man, I could crush that. Yeah, you know, I mean like I could destroy that But it's like it it it's in an in one ear out to other. You know what I mean?

So like being once I got to I would say 90 days. I Felt comfortable going out Like knowing there would be I would be surrounded by alcohol like surrounded by it like when we went to the Party. Yeah, I was like gonna be alcohol everywhere. But like I'll do it as soon as you put something in your cup. Nobody knows Yeah, that's it Let me ask you a question. Mm-hmm. Do you think you're never gonna drink ever again? Oh Part question. I don't know if I'll ever drink again. It's um It would have to be something that I would never get drunk again

Unless like I Just totally fall off the way like I can't I can't say that I won't Second part of this question was gonna be do you think you could drink in moderation? No, no That was the biggest realization that I had to have. Yeah, but you didn't know you were doing it Yeah, but now I now I know. Well, yeah, now you know, I'm saying now. Do you think you could just be like no I don't have to have Because you you had no idea that you were drinking a lot. Oh, no, that's what I'm saying But it's different. Yeah, but it's very scary to not know you're drinking a lot and then everyone around you should be like, yo, dude

Yeah, but you didn't know of course not because when you're doing stuff like that and you're battling other things you're self-medicating I would say you easily Stop drinking. I could I'll tell you this It was not easy. I Feel like it was because it wasn't there wasn't I mean, you know, I'm not trying to say was like the easiest thing in the world No, I know you're I know I do think that there saw me the whole time There are people who try to stop and then they can't they relapse a little or they have one drink here And they like but you were able to be like nah, I'm good and like obviously it's tough

Yeah in that regard, but there was no like I'm just gonna have a little thing here Are you hitting me up like y'all? I'm really struggling with this right now. Well, well, here's Here's where it gets interesting is because I've tried to stop Like I would I would always try to stop and I would go like six days And be like oh, I made it six days So I'm saving it for Sunday and then I would drink like 14 beers so it's like The moderation I did it all in one day, you know what I'm saying

It's like I could start again in mart moderation, but the moderation period isn't gonna last long You understand what I'm saying Like I know myself. I can't drink two beers and that's it But you could drink no beers. Yeah, so what is the difference the two beers? I guess so Because I'll tell you this if I drink two beers and get a taste of that sweet sweet nectar It's it's it's going it's going to get me to a point where it's like oh Like you know what I can drink another one of these like I like I could and I would be fine Yeah, but it's gonna be two then it's gonna be three and I'm talking over time

I'm not saying in one night. It's gonna be like yeah Fuck popping bottles and like fighting people in the street, but uh-huh It's gonna get my whistle wet enough that it's gonna become something that I'm gonna start thinking about doing again every day Oh, so I I had three beers and I was fine. I was able to do that So I'm just gonna have three beers again into in three days. Yeah, or in 24 hours Yeah, or yeah or that that's where it was I then you know I also have my my other health complications that I had to deal with so I I had to and I've tried many times to stop and I couldn't

We had no real incentive to do it No, no, I had no real incentive to do it, but I knew it like my family was telling me like you have a You have a drink problem. It's it's hard to admit, you know, but When it got to that point, I just remember just being like It clicked for me I tried to stop drinking mad times mad times and it was just like I couldn't do it Like I would I would cut back like crazy and then just have a week where I was drinking like almost every day And then I would have four days off

And then I would get like super depressed and start drinking and shit So like that's like what was happening to me That's why I knew I had to cut it out completely because it will it will affect other things that I'm trying to do It will definitely make me less productive. It'll definitely make me way more sad and It'll make me just not in a position where I'm gonna be healthy. Do you think it's beer or it's everything? It's everything I never drank wine in Italy. Yes, I did that was like and I forced myself to do that which was terrible because my thing was is that

When I drank wine in Italy, I only this is the stupidity in my head Somebody with a drink. That's how I justified it. I'm in Italy So I have to drink So I drank. Yeah, but you didn't crush bottles No, but my thing was was my thing was was but when I came back I had I still had the The itch to keep doing it to keep wanting like well I'm like I was like, oh man like I bought these Venetian wine glasses and like we have this beautiful wine at home and I want to drink it and like

You just kept coming and coming and then it got to the point where they were like, dude You have diabetes type 2, you know, you're dealing with this shit. I stopped cold turkey I ended up fucking bouncing off the walls because of that and then it was like, you know It put me in a shitty spot So then I had to get myself out of that shitty spot and the only way that I could get myself out of that shitty spot Is I had to stop completely. Yeah, I just think that it's not super abnormal to Have a drink one day. No, like today like no, no, no, and listen, it sounds like I'm trying to convince you

Please nobody go after joke about that because Because this conversation many times off camera. I'm more trying to understand. Yeah. Yeah You don't consider yourself to have a drinking problem. No somebody who has Has had a drinking problem. I don't consider you to have one either. No, I also like your your social drinker Like you drink how a person's supposed to drink sometimes. I think that I could have very well Fallen into a bad way. Like I think last winter I drank a lot. Yeah And then I was like I gained a bunch of weight and I was just like I can't yeah, it's like this is crazy

And then but it's I Don't know what I'm trying to say is that like today. Mm-hmm. I Would love to have a beer right now. Yeah Me too, but I'm not gonna. No, you know, I'm saying because I know like Don't have a beer Right, but like see here's where you're thinking of my thinking would be different. Okay, we just finished the show Yes, we finished work for the day. Yep. It's Friday. What do you do on a Friday? Listen Ellen John you get drunk

Okay, so my everything that I was doing was Kind of I would yeah, it was it was surrounded by I Would reward myself with alcohol being like oh, I did everything that I was supposed to do today Let's do this dessert like for a kid. That's what it was. Yeah, that's what it was And I and I've said it on the show before it'd be like I'll be watching a Tennessee Jaguars Like Titans Jaguars game and like crushing seven beers because I had the kicker You know what I mean? It's like you're finding excuses to do these things throughout the day. So that's why

Listen at some point do I think I'll ever drink again? I'm not sure I'm not sure But all I know is that at this period in time right now would be way too Drastic, absolutely, but I will say The whole point of me bringing this shit up. Yeah, I wouldn't I don't take you as like attacking me at all No, no, I'm not saying that but I'm saying the reason why I'm bringing this up when I'm getting to the point the point being I Don't think you should sell yourself short in that you don't have any Self-control like I am I think just from what I've observed from an outside perspective That you do have a lot of self-control and then you are like very on top of your health and you're very like, you know now

Now you're a completely different person. Yeah, like but the person that I met and now who you are now Yeah, that person was a fucking mess Very different, right? Yeah, I was a fucking mess Yeah, but um It's a it's a completely different person. So I wouldn't sell yourself short and thinking that no matter what If I have one beer, I'm falling off. No, no, and I don't think that too, but in my mind. I knew How hard it was it took years to get to four months?

Well is what I'm trying is what I'm trying to say you were backed into four months though Mm-hmm, but my thing is though is that a Most problems you have to hit rock bottom before You couldn't kind of get help and my rock bottom was I Had diabetes at 28 years old 27 years old and they were like dude You're gonna you could dive it's a disease. Yeah, if you keep drinking your liver's gonna be shit And I had a fatty liver from drinking kidneys. We're not doing great either. So it was like This is all progressing way too fast. I was like if I keep drinking this is gonna get bad and

I abused my body for over almost a decade if you really think about it Like well now back in the day when I used to come to work. I used to Drink until three wake up come to your place and then drink. What was ever was in your fridge? Like I would crack a beer open every once in a while you'd be like wow You're like slow early. I mean, I don't do that. Yeah, but but I mean like it was one of those things it was like I Knew that was the key thing that I had to get out of my life Because everything else will fall in the play. I knew it if I can get this out of my life for the time being

everything else will fall into place now like Was I an alcoholic stumbling out of the fucking bar every night and getting DUI's and smack of my girlfriend around no But I had a drinking problem. So it got to the point where he was affecting my day-to-day life and my health So I had to stop Like my thing is is that hold on hon? Yeah, so this is why I'm trying to like understand and You know, I'm not gonna tell you what you had what you didn't have but I will say Was it a drinking problem and self-control problem or was it just a

Unmotivated lifestyle That you were just in a routine where it was like I have no real motivation to eat healthy Or to stop drinking because drinking makes me happy It makes me it makes me like a little numb and you're like I have a good time drinking I like drinking I like to taste of it whatever and I feel the same way about it. Yeah, you know, like I've had a long day I'm like fuck I'm just gonna crack open crack open one beer and have one beer Yeah, right whatever was it was it because it was the beer or was it because of the lifestyle

You were living because I think that it's possible It's the life. I'm not gonna tell you. It's the lifestyle. So is it a Slippery slope or is it that you completely changed your lifestyle? So this is impossible now because it was never about this because if it was about this then you would have like the I'm fucking drunk every day. I need you're saying is it more the substance or lifestyle you're saying yeah, that got to me It's both because here's why the the the alcohol Was the thing that propelled me into not being a motivated person Because I used to be one of those guys last one to leave

I'll drink whatever is there I'll hang out and be like I could do this I was a functioning drinker like I was very like high functioning But it turned into a lifestyle of where this revolved around everything else Well, I think it's just like see that I also like when remember we did that month where like you were not gonna drink for 30 days I started to realize how much of my social plans revolve around it Yeah, you're going to a bar and like whatever and like I don't have to drink at the bar, but like it's pressure there Yeah, yeah, you know, and it's just like, you know, that's why this all I'm trying to say is I wouldn't sell yourself short because I Don't know. Yeah, obviously. I don't you know better than me, but I

Think it's possible that because you completely change the way that you're living your life and your your priorities are completely different than they were Yeah, I Could probably enjoy a drink every once in a while and and you wouldn't fall off the wagon I I just for knowing you I Would never say this to you right if I thought right and I would never open a beer in front of you if I thought I mean Even you asked me like that time. You're like, oh, I was like, yeah, dude I was like if you don't drink in front of me, you're a bitch Yeah, but so I think that it's very possible that it was a lifestyle thing because yeah

There are a lot of people that have this problem, but it starts as a lifestyle and then other things take over Of course, you you just get into routine. It's like and it just so happens That's how it happened for me Yeah, it's just being a lazy piece of shit and then it was like this is what lazy pieces of shit I guess do and I'm not doing anything else so I might as well do this and let's just suppress everything and It's making me feel better about shit about being a loser I'm just using the word that I would use in my head. I'm not saying people who drink a lot are losers

I'm not saying that but in my head. I thought I was a loser So I was it only didn't make me feel like a loser was drinking like eight or nine beers Yeah, so the the lifestyle transformed into the substance and then they both kind of like Merged with each other like Dragon Ball Z but now I think they fucking they became a super sad Absolutely, but now especially with when that problem happens and all that health stuff happens a lot of education came from that as well Yeah, absolutely I know more I know more about the human brain than a lot of the human brain what alcohol does to your body and what's healthy What's unhealthy? Yeah, so now you can successfully separate the two for sure and I feel like that would make it like easier

And I listen to it at the end of the day. I'm not convincing you to I don't know And I'll tell you that I don't feel any pressure from you like none of this is like I'm not gonna leave here and be like He was right, you know what I mean like go to the store be like I'll take that that that that yeah I don't feel that yeah, I understand where you're coming from because a part of you is like You're you're proud to see that I could do that Yes, I think that you the reason why this whole conversation is I don't want you to sell yourself short and thinking that like dude If if if you think even for a second that it was the substance. Yeah No, it's not worth it. Yeah, fuck it. Yeah, it's not that cool. You know, I'm like fuck that but I

Think that if you eventually get to the point where you are completely honest with yourself And you were able to like sit down and be like, okay What was it right and I still think that it's possible for you to be like it was just that I was this guy Yeah, and I'm a different guy because I see night and day and I see a guy now I'm looking at a dude that I don't think that could happen to you and I could be wrong I would hope not and if I am wrong, I'd feel But I hear you're saying like like you're not the only person that asked me like this question Yeah, you know what I mean, but it's like it gets to a point where you kind of just have to be like

It'll be at that time it'll be I'll know at that time I'll know But for now keep it keeping it clean. Yeah, I think you can wrap it up here though. Yeah, I think so I'm also a fun guy to have a drink with too. So that's what it sucks. Yeah, you're a fun guy. I'm a fun guy Mushroom fun guy fun guy. Yeah Anyway, well Joe, well, where can I find you? You can find me neck deep in my fridge Sucking down all the beers getting after it getting after it, but yeah, you can find me at dinner

What's funny about this? You know, it's funny about this. I'm actually going to a bar. No, that's and you as you should yes as you should sir as you should I have more of a Buffalo wing problem than I do a drinking problem. Yeah, but you did bitch out on the Buffalo wings that one time and like got sick from him Yo, and then I got sick remember those wings. We both got sick were Hot I think there was something in them too because we both got sick. Yeah, my ass was if I thought I was bleeding Yeah, it was bad. It's bad hurt. It's bad. Okay. Yeah, we're gonna find you at Daniel Priori on Twitter and Instagram and at alcoholics anonymous

And you guys can follow the show at the base me or go follow me on Instagram at Joe Sanagato and that is all See you guys next time