The Basement Yard - #175 - Dream Out Your Ass

Episode Date: February 4, 2019

Danny & I talk about dissecting animals, skydiving, & what it truly means to dream out of your ass. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard, bitch What was that what I don't know whatever that was it was like a motion a hand motion I'm not I'm trying out. I'm trying out like new hand stuff. I want to I want to be like cooler with my hands You're trying out new hand stuff. Yeah What the fuck does that mean like like like like cool stuff with my hands? You try No, what do you mean? I mean like just signs. I can't tell if you're joking I'm not

You've been trying out new hand stuff. Yeah, like yeah, I feel like like I'm not cool enough of my hands like to be like You know I'm saying who is cool with their hands a lot of people who rappers Who is it? Who is this guy shooter McGavin? No, no, no Very cool his hands. No, who's a guy fez? Oh, no the fuzz. What's his name? Fonz Fonz. Hey Fuzz what am I talking about? Those are the cops. Yeah, what am I talking about the fuzz the fuzz? I don't know what the hell I'm talking. Hey. Yeah, that yeah, but I'm trying to get like a hand thing going Yeah, like a couple barrel rolls and like a To the double guns

I'm gonna I you think you should retire it right now. I think it's kind of ridiculous. All right. One more time then That's terrible. Damn. I'm not liking it. What do you got? I had I don't know I didn't know this was a thing let me see the coolest hand thing you could do just off on the cuff right now off the cuff off on her on it Damn, it was pretty cool. You like that shit. Yeah Or a couple of morons. I swear to God new mics new mics got new mics shout out to the the patreon we're getting a lot of support from people this month and We're able to buy some new mics here. These are the same mics that the podcast god Joe Rogan uses. Yep

So y'all did this Yeah, y'all can have that y'all did this y'all can have that exactly you can't have these though Yeah, no, these were keeping we just got it. Yeah, we just got um, but yeah our patreon If you want to support the show you can head to patreon.com slash the base me I'd we actually just revamped what the tears are so I could kind of explain it having done that in a while Tell them about the tears We should do that more often that was dope. Yeah, right? Yeah, that's cool Tell them about those tell them about those tears

All right, the first tears the smoky tears smoky debate. It's five dollars. You get access to every episode a week early And you also get bonus content, which is bi-weekly segment that me and Danny do called what the fuck this patreon What where we answer the questions that you guys sent in so if you ever want us to talk about some you send us a question We answer that shit and they're usually like 20 minutes long The next is the super smoky tear super smoky That's great So you get the obviously the episode and the what the fuck is patient one segment and you also get a bonus episode of The base me art every month that can only be seen by our patrons

So we do an episode a regular episode just like this. Mm-hmm goes on the patreon I mean only could see it if you are a patron, so You have like 19 different voices in there, don't you? Yeah. All right, the next one is the fire tear Whoa that was hot Where on this one you get everything that I already talked about before on the other tears And you also get an on-air shout-out from me and Danny at the end of the basement yard So we'll just go through this tier and then we'll just kind of give everyone a shout out Thank you for supporting the show and the last one is called. Oh a hundred percent. Oh

On this one you get a personalized video shout out for me and Danny sent to your email So we just recorded a bunch of them. They're like two minutes long and they're just around. Yeah, they're fun Love you man good. See ya. Oh, yeah. Thanks for the money. Bye. Yeah. We say your name We try to figure out your backstory. Yeah, we googled someone. We're like, yo, who the fuck are you and then we googled them And it was some like model who was like really hot. Yeah, but he was peeling off his face. Yeah, I'm like, yo, is this you? Yeah, I hope so. Yeah, maybe slide my DMs Danny's trying to experiment Would you would you ever? No, no, I would not if you went to heist if you went to college

I feel like a lot of experimenting happens in college. Do you think that you would ever experiment? Dude, this isn't the 80s with hippies with LSD. I'm not saying that you would do dudes I'm saying like experiment what like orgies and stuff You're trying to get me to like rub elbows with a guy who's fucking a girl a little bit And then that's a gateway drug to like well, let me just pat him on the on the ass Yeah, and then it turns into you're inside. Whoa. Yes. Those are the steps. I didn't know that. Yeah Who would be more experimental you or me you know way, what are you talking about? You are? You're asking me all these questions that you're trying like all right

What if you were at college as if there's like orgies going on at every college? Let me ask you this if you were financially stable by luck. Was that fart? No, no, that was my my slippers I was like damn man. Now. We're good. We're good if you were like finance like super financially stable by 40 Yeah, and you'd like didn't have to work like everything you could do you could do from home, okay? Like somehow gonna turn it to me having sex with a guy. No sex. No sex. Okay. Would you go ever go back to college? Like like full-time like be a full-time like live in a dorm. Yeah. No, I'm 40. I look like an idiot. No, yeah You ever have a I went to a community college or there would be like 60 year olds in my class Yeah, that's different like you could be a teacher and it's like oh if I get this fucking degree then I get an extra

$5,000 on my salary Is that how it works? Yeah, I never do that like you get your masters and stuff Oh, you get more qualifications. Well, so would you go back to college, but like live off campus? I've thought about it. Honestly. I miss learning. I haven't learned in a while. I haven't learned in a long time learned Yeah, whoa. Yeah, I did the tea there learned Learned I haven't learned how about learned being a word hate that learn it isn't a learned professor or whatever That's a word. Yeah, I'm pretty sure wait. Oh, no, I don't want to check. I'm scared. No, no, no No, but I'm saying I'm pretty sure that's like learn it is a word. I learned learned yes

It is no no good. It is learned. I'm saying they don't use it in that sense. Okay, like you are a learned. It's something. I'm a learned Professor you said we're fucking dumb. I know let's get that out of the way But learned is a word learned is obviously a word. Yeah. Yeah, I learned that I learned good. Yeah. No, oh, boy We're gonna need to do some some work with you, buddy I hate I hate Remember you and you and me What's you and I? You and I both love

It's great. Remember that song. Yeah, who's that by no idea? Well, yeah, yeah Not six pants Who six pens? I don't know what six kiss me. Yeah, I don't know what six pence. None the richer is yeah What is that is a Robin Hood sequel, but I did you know? She says kiss me out of the bearded barley. Yeah, apparently that's kiss her vagina She's got a bearded barley. Yeah, she's got a beard bearded bar. That's not what that means. Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is No, it's not kiss me out of the bearded barley and then type vagina and I guarantee you will be talked about eating her snooze noo

bearded barley vagina Am I right or am I wrong the first thing that pops up The two Google searches that pop up the first one is urban dictionary. Okay, and just says vagina beard bearded barley Yeah, but a barley isn't a oh No, I spelled barley wrong. I Miss I miss some you miss bells some barley um, I Think it's wow it is. Yeah, see it's about eating her snooze noo

Her snooze noo. Yeah tickling her snooze noo. Her Vajanjhan? Her Vajanjhan. Kiss me out of the bearded barley always taking the terms bearded barley flowered hat broken treehouse broken treehouse Out at the broken treehouse swing swing. But can a vagina be a broken treehouse? I don't know. I'm gonna look at it next time and and and like Google image a broken treehouse and see what it looks like Well, why would a broken treehouse resemble a vagina? Did we ask this question on here yet? What if you'd rather be? Kissed under the milky twilight or out on the moon. Oh, what's more romantic? Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. What was it? Sorry the lyric? Get kissed out on the moonlit floor or Or under the milky twilight

I'm all about the twilight. I'm all about the twilight, too. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's Yeah That's dope. What do you think's like a perfect date? Like like like an anniversary date. Say you had your 10th anniversary with someone. Okay. What would you do? What would what would be the perfect date? Are you asking me like to direct a movie or you're asking me like Realistically like ten-year marriage anniversary. What's your what's your it's not gonna be as cool as my other answer? All right, so do a pretend one and then a real one. I don't want to do both No, I think um, I don't know man a moonlit floor. Yeah, it's fucking sexy, dude

You know what's sexy when people have weddings outside and the dance floor is just like In the middle of like someone's lawn. Yeah, like a feel there's there's like grass grass grass dance floor Yeah, and then the moon's out taught fucking champagne's going. I like that. I like every part of it. Yeah, right? I like that. Maybe that would be it. Yeah, maybe but that's not really an anniversary. That's a wedding Would you ever hire somebody to come like sing to to like your dinner table? No, I you know like they'll have people like come over like Tartuffo over do you do you do that to people? Are you the guy that goes hey, man gotta go to the bathroom real quick be right back and then it's like they come out

You're like, I got a fucking loser. I didn't pee. Yeah You thought I peed you were dead wrong you are dumb idiot. Yeah, no, um, no, I'm not that guy I don't like those No, I mean, I don't mind them like people like they think it's so funny because they find it embarrassing like I'm not embarrassed It's my birthday. Yeah, I also think it's funny though to fake it. Yeah You know what we've done that to Keith because Keith obviously like he's not he doesn't like attention Oh, yeah, like that So like at Hooters they make such a big deal about people's birthdays

Like bring them up in front of the whole restaurant with the two girls and like they're singing and like doing whatever Wasn't his birthday. We're just like it's his birthday Yeah, he's sitting there like this and then like they're like come on come on Hey, and he's just like you see a piece of chicken threw it on the plate and they just got up reluctantly It was so funny. I haven't been to a Hooters in years. I would say 12 years. No, no, that's a lie I have I went there maybe three years ago We should do 2019 we should do Hooters What's so good? Hooters isn't even great and maybe they don't even get any tits anymore medieval times medieval times now

We're talking. Let's do medieval times this year. Yeah, vlog the shit out of it. Yes, they don't get you know They don't give you a utensils now. You have to eat it with your hands and it's like a trough. It's a what? It's like a ladle trough It's like the soup comes with like a handle and you got to slurp it. Oh, yeah Yeah, that's kind of weird, but they do like mashed potatoes and you got to like Yeah, it's awesome. I kind of like that. Yeah. Yeah, we'll do medieval times this year Probably like a bunch of degenerates too because you know you have like a night that you're assigned to by the way for people Who don't know what we're talking about medieval times is this place that we went to when we were kids

Which it is for kids, but we'd be going as adults now, but you go and there's like a jousting match Between these like nights and like the kids are in the crowd and they give you crowns and like you could buy a fake shield And you sit and you sit in a colored section. You sit in a colored section. Oh, that sounded Yeah, very racist. I don't know stuff. No. Yeah, I know I should do I know it's like red blue That was very weird, but I think there is a black knight though Yeah, Martin Martin Lawrence. Yeah, that's a good movie great movie. Love that movie underrated great Jersey where is that? Regular generic green Jersey. Love it. Great. So you sit in a section. It's like, all right You're the green nights section. So you root for the green night and they give you food

But they don't give you like like knives and forks. You just eat it with your hands. Yeah, that's it Yeah, but we want to go because it's just like why not I would be betting heavily though. Absolutely. I bet you I have like literally $350 on this green night. Yeah, I've bet for sure remember we went to bingo and we just we're betting everything Yeah, that was bad People trying to have a good time that one girl kept there was this one girl that kept winning At bingo, you remember to the point and then but multiple people would win So they would do rock paper scissor to find out who actually won bingo

So we were just started making bets with this chick and I remember I put like $50. I'm like, yeah, I got $50 That she's gonna win this like rock paper scissor right now and then before they went I just like walked up to her and in front of everyone. I was just like, you know I got a lot of money riding on this so like let's go and she just I thought she would laugh But she just looked at me like And I was like, all right, and then you remember how I won all my money back You won bingo and I beat her in rock paper scissors. Did you really? Yeah, but the trick that you taught me always throw rock always throw rock I looked at you. You were like mr. Miyagi. You were like

I Was like gonna do it It's like that scene like you know a mighty ducks when when a fucking tells him to cut himself No, no, what doesn't he say like fake that your eyes cut in mighty ducks. No, yes, he does What are you talking about in the first mighty ducks? Oh that one? I just I don't even acknowledge. Okay. It's like It's like I hate money that's one but In one of the movies like Adam Banks is like taking like a fucking a Palatee shot. He looks over at the at the bench and everyone just one by one

Just giving the old nod Let's go sometimes all you need is just good. Not just good. Not look back at someone. They're like, yeah I remember I used to like play football and like I would always look for my dad in the stands So like if I did something good, you'd just be like And you're like that's amazing. Thank you so much. No the thing the reason why I brought up loaded. Yeah I Great rookie of the year. Yeah, mom. It was you. Yeah. Yeah, it was me Kevin's been traded to the Yankees the fuck's going on

This is a grand theft auto what are you guys going to do with it? We're going to show you for God's sakes. I know This is disgusting ruin my whole heaven. The cat Henry just got traded to the Yankees bit and everything. Yeah Damn it. It's all right. Remember we can't get the thing on the piano. What when he's doing the Pepsi commercial. Oh, yeah Yeah, I Just lost I was gonna say no, I know because of the birthday candles as you know my birthdays in four days Oh, yeah, that's right. So by the time this comes out, I will be a 30 year old man. There's gonna be a 30 year old man. Yeah What does that mean? I think that's the turning point. Honestly when you turn 30 everything slows down a bit If you would have asked me a year ago if I was excited to turn 30

I would have told you to get the fuck out of my face, right? I'm actually excited to turn 30. Wow. Yeah I'm not and it's it's it's weird, but like I Remember being 15 and be like wow. I'm halfway to 30 Yeah, like I said, I remember saying that to myself and now you're there and now I'm there Yeah, now I'm gonna be halfway to 60 Dude, that's fucking bugged out. Yeah, dude. I'm gonna be on January 30th. I will have walked the earth for 30 years Not a whole lot of walking, but no well the first how long does it take to walk? No, I mean like in general. I don't walk every day. I don't know, but you know gotta get here somehow

Couple steps out the door to get the Uber. Yeah, it's not ubers. Yeah. Yeah, but you know Ubers save my life. I think anything Yeah, man fucking turn 30 Geez are you having like are you gonna? You know at what age do you stop putting as many candles as your age on the cake? You know because at a certain point it's a fire has I would say 18 18 18 candles is a lot of candles You gotta go to the numbered candles, you know, yeah, like oh two three or whatever You know, yeah, you can't put 23 candles on a fucking cake like I'll be honest with you

I would say anything over 15 is a fire hazard and you're running out of cake space. I go 12 12. Yeah 13 a baker's dozen is too much for me. Also trick candles stupid stupid. All right, you know Yo, some people have a stupid birthday rituals. Yeah, and what's up with the smashing people's face? That's the one I'm talking about. It's like oh, yo, we're gonna get them. You smash your friend's face in their cake Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, great birthday for me. Hilarious. Now I have to wash my whole face Yeah, my whole face fucking ass. Yeah, it's ridiculous people such douchebags that do that And I like ice cream cake you smashed my face in that I might get a concussion. Yeah, cuz that's hard Did they do that? I think there's like a video. Yes, and a girl's just out out in her cake

Cuz like they missed it like hit the table like part of no I think the cake was just so soft that she went right through the cake and got smashed on the table It was just out so dumb. It was great. What's dumber that or gender reveals? That it's it's dumb gender hurt someone gender reveals actually have a purpose even though they're like So blown out of proportion. It's like I deadlift sometimes. So let's put the balloon underneath 315 I'm gonna drop the weight on it Why are we doing this whatever chalk I use on my callous hands is gonna be what baby I'm having So dumb you ever see the ones where it's like, oh, yeah, I play baseball. So let's do baseball

They throw the ball the guy misses it hits the floor blow. It's a boy. You're fucking moron. Yeah That's like setting up your kid for failure right there. Yeah, you like How'd you find out? I was a boy. I Struck out. Yeah, I swung and miss swung and missed and dropped you on the floor basically exactly no not good start Is it weird that I'm not having a party for my 30th birthday? No, I think I think you're past the party I think when you get 40 you can have a party. Yeah, because at that point you Most likely have kids and you'd be you know married to the point where now you're starting to resent your wife and question all your Decisions. Yeah, it's like I need a time to go out and really just let it all out. Yeah

You know what I mean? Let the last 10 years of my life Out tonight. Yeah, because I'll be honest with you I Probably cry on my birthday and here's why here's why here's why here's why for some reason I don't know because it's my golden birthday. What does that mean? It means I'm turning 30 on 30 Ah, so it's like supposed to be like nice like the best birthday in my life. Okay, what I want to turn 25 Nothing happened. All right, good. No, you made a lot of money Not on my birthday

On your birthday that year. That's your golden year. Yeah, it's your golden year. All right. So I mean, yeah It was good. I think I think it was. Yeah. Well, no, it was No, I actually it was a great. Yeah, it looks so yeah, so you had a golden bird works out. You had a golden year. Yeah, but um, I Don't know it hasn't hit me yet that I'm gonna be 30 I really don't look at age like that cuz I don't I don't think people look at me as 30 I don't look at you as 30. You know, so it's like I don't feel 30. I feel 50 No, but it's gonna it's gonna be weird to know that I'm 30 years old because I'm the youngest Like you know in your family. Yeah, it's me and my sister. Right. We're the same age though. So it's like

Everyone is so grown up that's the craziest part. It's like wow everyone's 30 That's fucking bugged out dude feel 50. Yeah It's true. My dad used to say that he goes. I'm 60. I feel seven. He goes up. I'm 60 I feel 70 and I look like I died last year That's him yeah, definitely so my dad to a T. Yeah, I don't know you think you you think you got some time for your 30 Yeah, well, I have three years basically. I turn to live a thousand days a Little over a thousand more days to your till 30. Yeah, that's cool, but when you put it in days It doesn't seem like a long time

When you put in some months, it's even shorter when you're like, you know, 36 months from now, I Never thought of it like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's that's interesting actually Yeah Dude, January is like over dude. Yeah, I know This sucks. I know I know I know it's kind of just crazy like how fast the year ends up going I Know if whatever reason it just seems like time is moving like Faster. Yeah, I don't know if that's true. Dude last year went so fast. No, I didn't think so I thought it was a year. It felt like a year. It did. Yeah, I don't know maybe because I like I

Don't know. I started something new. Maybe it started like Like a different feeling for me. Maybe Like cuz I like started working here. Yeah, so like I had like more like It's it's so crazy if I if you look at it weekly like the episodes Like I counter I was like damn dude. We've made mad episodes. Yeah, and you did mad episodes before I got here Yeah, it's fucking crazy. Do you know what's crazy? Like I'm a psycho. I used to do this by myself That I when I first started working here I I I went back to listen to the just to kind of get the feel of the show

Yeah, and like your voice kind of and what I can bounce off of shit like that And I was like, you know, this kid is doing this by himself. It's good. It's nuts I used to do full episodes that were like 48 minutes long. No, that's me That's admirable though because not a lot of fucking people can do that No, it's really hard and there have been times especially in the beginning where I had to just like either pause it Or I'd just be like I do 15 minutes and be like that was fucking awful and I would just Erase it and start over from zero. It's just weird to know that you're talking to yourself But but eventually it's gonna go out to other people. Yeah, but the process is you just speak to yourself

It's it's like an improv exercise kind of you have to keep coming up with funny stuff and you have to have something to talk about I know it's hard. It's like I've always like I think Bill Byrd does his by himself. Yeah, like I admire the shit out of that Yeah, but you have to be a fucking psycho. Yeah, you gotta be and he's definitely he's definitely a psycho. Oh, yeah And he knows that. Yeah, you know, I know that he knows that We all know we all know that Sorry, I'm sorry. No, it's it's it's retired. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Yeah, I don't know why I just I'm bringing this up right now

But was it you who I was talking to who asked me if I believe if we landed on the moon Yeah, it was me That was you, right? Yeah, and we both don't believe it. Yeah, I don't believe we landed on the moon. No I'm not a conspiracy guy. I just don't think we went to the moon. No because here's why that would make me a conspiracy guy I guess but why have we not gone back and like had a whole thing like that you could watch on fucking periscope or something Yeah, like I think we've gone the space But it took us time to get the space. Uh-huh. You know what I mean? Okay, but like why have we not gone to the moon if they said that The computer we literally have in there. Mm-hmm was more powerful than the fucking computer that sent the rockets to the moon

Right, why have we not been back to the fucking moon or maybe we have but humans? I haven't heard about a human walking around on the moon. Have you? No, no Yeah, what the fuck yeah, dude, it's fucking like 60 years later. Why would we have not gone back? Makes no sense doesn't make sense or not even that we don't got to go to the moon Go somewhere else. Oh, yeah, go. We're just all gonna hang here forever and go walk around on the fucking moon I want to see it. We were supposed to have flying cars in space stations by now Well, what what where are we with that? That just shows you how dumb though people are though

Yeah, you know it was 1999 and we were like, yeah, we're like three months cars are gonna fly dude Like 1998 we were like yo when the Millennium like when the Millennium hits my god fucking 2003 oh my god cars are gonna fly I had a no, they're not I had a school project that That was one of the questions aren't cars gonna fly and it was draw what you think the year 2000s gonna be like I had fucking Flying cars and tubes that take people everywhere. Yeah, whoa, that's a good invention Would you trust that though? Like say like me like like mean you

Yeah, like it's not just like my I'm not gonna raw dog it and I get my body in there No, that's what it would be. Oh, no, but you just put it put it in a capsule. Yeah, you're creating a reality All right, you're encapsulated. All right, you know when they take like mail and they put in that thing Yeah, you know what I mean hospitals they do that too. I think so. Yeah, they still use that technology Like but it would be like a subway though Okay, like you would have to walk to a spot where it was. Yeah, and then enter in a destination It would leave you like within a couple blocks or where you're supposed to be Supposed to be excuse me. I think it would be cool if it was just like like a Super Mario

Mario, do you say Mario Mario? I say Super Mario. Yeah, everyone gets married me when I say Super Mario I don't think that's something wrong with that. No, I mean, it's whatever. I just I'm cool with it being the only reason He's cuz he goes Mario. Yeah, that's why that was really good But it'd be cool if there were just like things open and you should be like, oh, yeah, I got a head to the city Get in there and just whoa Oh like in the Grinch the movie would Jim Carrey where he hits the thing It's like dump it to crump it. Yeah sucks you up the mountain. That'd be cool I just think that I'd be scared. I'd be a little scared

But in a way like I feel like that'll be created at some point Yeah, I do too like I see that like if they figured out like the infrastructure for it But like they could make that work I think the next sort of technology is the hover technology. Yeah, I think not necessarily flying cars But maybe like mass transportation that is like over highways. I was not it doesn't affect the current Traffic like would you pay extra to take like the hover lane? Like would you have to buy a hover car you would get like no, no, it would be a bus Oh, hey, like, you know, whatever bus fare, you know, I'd be fucking dope. Yeah, I think it would it would be helpful

Yeah, cuz like if you could make a blimp You can make a hover fucking car blimps are fucking terrifying. I know Can you even drive those? Yeah, there's pilots up there. Yeah, I know but like What's in the blimp you couldn't pay me to go in a blimp first of all I would do anything else Yeah, would you do a hot air balloon? So I really got close to doing that. Don't do it. No, I'm not don't do it No, I'm not I'll tell you why don't do it because me and my friend Eddie your signal. I Don't know why I just said his full name, but me and my friend Eddie we were

Really talking about going to Colorado and getting in a hot air balloon over the Rocky Mountains because you thought it'd be like beautiful Whatever, I mean, it definitely would it would and then I did I did a little you know deeper dive into hot air balloons And you can't steer them. No, they just float. Yeah, it's just a do go It's like you can but the the hot air just goes up. It just yes. It makes it rise so Especially near a mountain If you can't steer and there's like a you know fucking crosswind here. Yeah. Yeah, could be dumping into the Rocky Mountains I'm all good on on hot air balloons. I'll go watch some

Yeah, I'll go watch how I wish I could get in one, but I really care about if I live or die It would be one of those things where I would have to sit down in the basket. No, I would stand up No, I would be no way. I could look over Yeah, yeah, that's scary. What was I even thinking? I know you're nuts I'm I don't know. I even considered that But you know, you know, it's funny because when that was happening, right? And I was like, yo I'm down to do it. I was just at a time where I was like, you know I'm spending much too much time in Queens and like I'm not really even going into Manhattan not doing anything in my life

I'm gonna go explore some shit. So I went turbo. I'm like, yo hot air balloon Rocky fucking mountains What happens two days later on the news hot air balloon accident five people died shut up. Swear to God And I was like not doing that shit. Swear to God two days later That's a lot of people it wasn't a hot air balloon, isn't it? Was it I made that number up, but it was like I was like five people and no wonder No, the baskets are pretty legit. I think it's you and two other people. It's like to do with the purrsch I don't know what that thing's called to do with the bar Yeah, and then and then like you and like whoever you want to go up there

I don't know I could never do it another thing Let me ask you this. Oh, no, you know how you could go on bus tours in New York City Yeah, would you do a scuba tour where it's a submarine tour? What are you fucking nuts not one part of me is doing that. What am I gonna go see? See what? Unless I'm seeing mermaids with giant boobies. Yeah, nah, I'm not doing that Have you ever seen that fucking place in Atlantis or whatever the resort? It's a it's a Restaurant that's underwater. I do that and it's all glass. Yeah, you're eating dinner underwater and fucking fish

Or just fucking swimming by that's fire. You would do that. Yeah, I'd be terrified No, I'm not getting in a fucking submarine though like the red like fucking what's his name Sean Connery in that movie right October Yeah, yeah, yeah, no things are beeping red lights are going off like are we getting shot? I'm not doing that like I wouldn't pay To go on a submarine tour. We're just gonna be like fully underwater for like 45 minutes No, thanks. I bet you guys are yeah, not this fucking guy. I'll hang up top. Yeah. Yeah water scares me Hi thing scare me Space space scare, you know space scares a shit out of anything that is right here. Yeah, I'm good with you know The highest I'll go in my life besides being in a plane. It's like the Empire State Building like

Dick or whatever if somebody paid you So let's say five grand. Yeah To go in a hot air balloon you do it Where like for a video like if like somebody like sponsored you like hey We want you to go up and do a video in a hot air balloon. I would do it if it was like in Fucking like New Jersey or some the most flattest of lands Like in the desert something like Vegas. Yeah something like that right where it's like so flat There's nothing that we could hit

Right and I would do it. So like you just like go up kind of float around move around a little bit But there's no trees. I don't want trees. I don't want trees. I don't want mountains or trees I honestly would or seas this defeats the purpose of a hot air balloon because I don't want to see anything Yeah, I want there to be a floor We can go high, but I don't want to see anything No seas no trees. No seas and no trees not not into either of those. No no fucking way No seas, but you've been in a helicopter before. Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking about that. I could never get in a helicopter I mean it's not after that one crash in the East River. Fuck that dude

That was like after I did mine and I was like, well, they're the same company. I think no, I wasn't it was a private Yeah, because the one I did was the doors were closed and you just did like a helicopter tour around Oh, yeah, they could like this one They had the doors open and they're strapped in so they could like hang their feet out and like it's a really cool thing and The reason why they ended up dying was because they hit the water and then they're strapped in so they couldn't get out fuck Yeah, fuck off my fucking leg is shaking. I know but like I'm I'm more afraid of a helicopter than I am an actual airplane Yeah, yeah, you should be yeah, I think there's way less what helicopters got to be way more dangerous Yeah, I think also don't understand how it works. I don't know what's going on there either

And we just take off then you just go down dude first of all it goes like That was the scariest thing ever lifting off. No, no, no, so you get in the helicopter. You can't hear shit too, right? Well, no, well You you have like a radio so you can hear the person who's with you and like the pilots or whoever I think there was only one pilot though and there's like music that you could play Wait a minute. You have a radio set from No, that's like a little radio, okay that you can hear like Frank Sinatra was playing that's live That's what all the people say

You're riding high in April Shut down in May But I know I'm gonna change that tune when I'm back on top back on top in June I said that's life And I can't deny it Many times. All right. Anyway. Yeah, but uh, sorry anyway Yeah, we get in the helicopter the shit takes off like a little bit like now we're hovering and like that's cool But then in order to move in a forward direction

The fucking thing has to tip forward. Yeah, that's scary, right? So and and we were taking off from the piers in Manhattan. So the East River is right there. So I'm looking at the front window. Yeah, and I'm looking at water Yeah, so now I'm holding my breath because the thing tilts forward. I'm like where you go, okay? Because the thing it looks like it's going into the water and you see the guys just like Yeah, he's got both hands on the No, it's scary dude. Yo, and also like when you get up there, it's a weird-ass feeling because the thing like hovers Right. Yeah, there's like a hover mode if it levels out, right?

Because you see like helicopters in the sky when they're filming like traffic or whatever they just stay there It's the weirdest feeling. What did it sound like really like when you're up there? I do you hear like that? Very lightly because you have these big-ass things that are on your ears. Okay, you know because I assume it's loud as shit Oh, yeah, but I would be afraid of that. Well, yeah, it's scary. How much is that? How much does that run? Yeah, that was a lot because I I paid for a private one, too. It was like $900 Yeah, how long were you up there? 35 40 minutes

Way too long. Yeah, that's a long time to be afraid. I will say that's the most you've ever paid to be afraid Yeah, yeah, I will say it I'm not gonna say it was worth the money. I would have done it It's way less like it's maybe like $300 to just go with like other people in the thing. Yeah But I did private but I So But it was a cool experience to see the city from that hell yeah vantage point

Absolutely, you always see it in like shows or whatever when it's in New York City and like they'll show like that wide shot of New York Yeah, it was just cool to see that but I'm not doing that again. No, you know see like like does that make us like? Bitches yes, it does right. I think so like if we're like I just hate people to be like y'all skydive like I know Hey, my brother's getting married. He goes. Oh, yeah, I figured out. I'm doing my bachelor party in my head. I'm like, all right How many strippers right? He's like, we're gonna go skydiving I was like you enjoy your bachelor party because I'm not fucking doing that. No, man I'm not I'm not and like if you came to me and you were like yo Pay for video Santa Claus studios also a great channel on YouTube G plug

But you got to jump out of a plane. I'd be like where I put my two weeks Yeah, I'm not doing that, bro. Yeah, if you're like, you know your job depends on it. I'll be like I'm Pack it up my stuff today Would you do the indoor skydiving thing? Yeah, I would do that. I would do that for you I feel safer there because at least you fall Like you could get they cut the fan off. They could cut the fan off. Yeah, but I will say you can't cut the gravity I did that. I did the indoor skydiving thing also Yonkers right you you want to reach out? Yeah, it was like

fly yeah, but um Fucking always there was an old older person. I can't remember if it was a man or a woman that were in our group and This bitch banged off the wall Man, it's like a hockey wall. So you wear a helmet Yeah, or just goggles I don't know if you wear a helmet, but you do wear something to hold like your hair and everything You wear goggles you wear a suit Do they're like a weight requirement? Can I be a thick daddy and still get up there? No, yeah, probably they got they got

They gotta bring turbo fan Probably crank that fucking fan up. You know the fan is fastest shit, but here's the thing right you got 230 All right, bring the turbo fan that actually You start walking you're like Feel like a super Saiyan fucking The one behind the counters like Julio Start throwing the accent we're gonna excel fan

Get a medic on site You never know. I would love that though. I would do that. Yeah, that was cool. But can you breathe in there? Yes, but it's like Here's what I compare it to Driving on the highway. Mm-hmm 80 miles an hour. Okay, have your head out the window So as much as you can breathe doing that, it's kind of hard It's not it's like I would like turn my head sideways Like a swimmer. Yes, but that's the thing any little motion you make you just fucking spin

But there's a guy in there who's helping you around. Oh, they're fucking good. Yeah, they're fucking awesome Yeah, they're good though, but they they help you out they fucking Yeah, that was a cool experience That's fire, but yo, it's hard because you have to say so stiff I was like tired at the end of it. I did a one-minute like thing. You know what I mean? I did like a one-minute hold Or whatever like a like a like a flight plank Yeah, and then like by the time you're done because usually you do a 30-second you do a minute

So it's like fucked up. I'm gonna a minute. I mean, so I but I didn't hear one word. You just said So I sound like Waluigi Wow Yeah, but I had to fucking uh, I had to like flex my body so by the time I got out I was like Oh, so you're fighting the air basically Wow But I also don't know how to skydive correctly. So I probably like you know, but they but I was like It's tough, bro I'm good on that and then and then you know what they do they at the end at the end

They bring you up and down this like thing I don't know how tall it is, but it seemed like it was miles in the sky But it's not it's maybe like 40 feet. Is it like that scene in Willy Wonka or like yes, they drink that stuff. It's the exact you got a burp Charlie You know that guy. Yeah, um Charlie's gonna pop. Yeah But they bring you all the way up They like take your body and they hold onto your arm and your leg and they just spin and jump and bring you all the way up to The top. Yeah, and bring you down and then all the way to that is fucking crazy. Yeah, maybe I'll try it

That seems safe. The only thing is like your arms get tired You can't just give up and just be like oh one second because then you just fucking bounce all over that thing I would have to like look up videos about it. Then I would try it though I would I like it would be something that would Please me it would please you. Yeah to know that I did it. Yeah, you know what else is pleasing guys. What else? Having a brand-new mattress from Casper Casper mattresses that is the sponsor we have for today Which by the way, I do have a Casper mattress. Well, I'm actually in the market because my dog pee-pee'd on it

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You know like the Grinch was carrying trees. Yeah in the movie. You don't have to do that with the mattress It comes in a box shows up to your house Bring that thing into your room Pop it open and like this is my mattress in here. You pull it out You open the plastic boom speaking of we were talking about amazing technology. Yeah, that's amazing technology I'm saying you stuff a mattress into a box. Yeah, and I mean obviously the box isn't like this big, but it's like, you know You put a mattress in a box. I'm gonna be impressed. Yeah, I don't care. That's magic. It's magic to me Yeah, you bring it into your room. You open it pops open boom bed. You got a bed now. Yeah, all right

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This is that was a weird transition, but like this literally just pop into my head someone DM'd me a picture Because I forgot who it was You see the you or Frankie or me We're the only three that are dumb enough to say something this we're talking about like fighting a bald eagle or something So this this girl DM me a picture of a guy's fist and a bald eagle's hand over it dude Those things got hands. They ain't got their talent. It's not just just fucking like a Just a big

Thing just a pocket like a nail. Yeah, I could just pick up a child's face Like scoop down and just grab your child by the face and just take it to its nest and feed it to its young I was trying to tell you guys most animals could fuck you up. I did not I don't think it was me who challenged a bald eagle Those things dude. Yeah, but like even like listen like a rabid Oh, I'm gonna say a rabbit. I'm like, dude. I'll no no. No, I'll fuck a rabbit up. Fuck is I probably can't this cute I know hop into me, but like a rabid raccoon. Oh No, like they could fuck you up. They're quicker than me. Yeah, I'm scared of squirrels Cuz they're fast see I knew that yeah

I think I've said that before cuz they're quick and like raccoons are just what giant squirrels Yeah, and that are scarier if they wanted they could fuck us up I don't want to fight anything that has no if a rabbit had rabies. I don't want to fight it Have you ever been attacked by an animal before a dog? You got attacked by a dog I got bit by a dog on my fucking face. I show you that scar and you can't see it on here, but it's above my I'll show you You see this one if I go like that Yeah, yeah, that one a dog bit my face. I had a dog bite my hand. Yeah, you see this see that in here Yep, that's from a dog because I'm the type of person that I see a dog in the street

And I just like I have to oh, what's his name? Yeah, and I'm too like overly Into this dog sometimes so it weirds people out. You don't do like the fist first. No, I'm smelly I go hands low and then I grab its face and then I try to like Make it I'd rub its ears and like you know what I mean love me. Love me, please leaving my scent on you remember me later but What the fuck was I talking about you're talking about how you got bit by an animal? Yeah, so like there was a dog like close to my mom's house is like a block away

Yeah, and I was walking to the park and it came up. It was like a little white Fucking dog like a little. Yeah, you know, I mean it was a big dog. Well, yeah So he shut he comes up on the wall and he's barking at me So I just go oh, it's okay And I go like this and he just grabs onto my fucking hand and just goes I'm like wiggles like a fucking sharkwood. How old are you? like 17

Damn, this was later in life I thought there's gonna be like you were seven like hanging out like just walking through the park No, no, no, this dog bit my hand and like shook my hand and I pulled it out of its mouth And then my hand was like bleeding and it was an old woman She's this old like Greek woman, and I was like your dog. Well you touching my dog, but she was like She didn't say a word. She's just kind of like grunted like It all gets it bite. I know it bite you. I don't know it bite you do you grab I was come you come to dog. He bite you grab he buy and I was like all right

And I just you know I just put water on it walked away But it wasn't anything serious, but when I was younger I was walking into a deli and it was a big dog chained up to this thing like right when you walk in and It jumped it leaped broke the chain and like put its paws right here and not to be on the ground But it wasn't attacking me. It just wanted to like whatever and not to be on the ground and my mom was so scared I could be traumatized. I'm surprised eat my face. I'm surprised you love dogs as much as you do Oh my god, I wish dogs would do that to me. No, I wish there was a dog I knew a dog big enough to knock me on my ass. Yeah, I have a weird dream of like

Like you know like those guys that like train the dogs with the with the arm thing. Yeah, I want to do I want to do that I don't you don't I don't like seeing vicious dogs Vicious they're just being trained. I know to be vicious. No, they could be very loving You never seen videos of dogs that like bite criminals faces. Yeah, but they're trained to do that on command I'm aware, but I'm saying that's a little harsh I would want to see it like feel how powerful the bite was like safely Also, my dream would be to have like a farm of dogs. Yeah, that'd be fucking dope I want to have like I got mad dreams like five

Mad dreams. I'm telling you. I got dreams out the ass You got dreams out the ass. Hell, yeah, you dream out your ass. Yeah, you got to dream out your ass, baby I got dreams out the ass Inspirational you like you like tell kids like listen, you know, you gotta do she's got to dream out your ass Imagine going and speaking to children just being like listen grass career day. It's like, how you doing my name's Joe I do a podcast and kids listen You just got to dream out your ass You got dreams funnel them through your ass

All dreams start in your ass. All right I'm just behind you. It's like dream out the ass kids Like who's that guy? Listen, don't worry about that. I'm talking about your assholes. All right, all right You need dreams to shoot out of them. That's where they manifest Dream out your ass. I don't know. I said that but I don't know. I'm running with it Dream out the ass Dream dream out of your ass. Yeah. Oh my god. That is great. But like imagine that's going right on a shirt Oh, yeah, for sure dream out your ass. Oh god. That's funny. No, should it be? Yeah. Yeah, I

Got I got dreams out the ass So you dream out the ad yeah, dream out your ass having dreams out of your ass is one thing like that's like an expression like oh I got I got money out the ass, you know. Yeah, but I got dreams out the ass but like I Actively dream out of my ass. I Actively do that like as a verb. Imagine if your brain was located in your ass That's so weird though like the human body where everything is like located perfectly, I feel like Yeah, you just gave me the fucking most weird look ever wasn't weird your face just got like oddly Asian from like the

Eye like your eyebrows like it was weird. It morphed. Well, I am point two percent Japanese Ancestry rock. Did you actually do that? No, my mom did it and she's like point two. So maybe like point one Japanese nice It didn't it didn't yes. I don't want to be offensive. No, you Know But just I'm so glad we're not Logan Paul's podcast I know you got yeah written up for that one. Absolutely you would have served some detention No, but like think about where your heart is located. Yeah, right here. Imagine if it was in your ass Why are you throwing everywhere thing on our ass? No, I'm just saying like I feel like that's why the human body is so amazing

Everything is where it's supposed to be perfectly Yeah, but do you know anything that's not yeah, there's things that have brains in other parts of their body like like crabs and shit Where's the crab? Polly get that crab here so I can show it's great Jamie pull that up. Jamie pull that up. Can you pull a fucking car? Jamie go get the crab fucking Jamie's amazing. Yeah, whoever that is not this one. Jamie the other one the a Put some audio on that bitch. Oh my god. No, yeah, you know like octopuses octopi octopuses octopuses octopuses Octopus octopus. I think they're like moose or like fish. It's like fish or just fish. It's not fishes

It's just fish. Wait a second. Yeah, it's not fishes. Yeah, there's a lot of fish out here. Yeah. No, you're right It's like wait, hold on. There's a lot of fish out here. Yeah, you're good That's the only way like I need I need to put them in like Moose could definitely be me so let's let's be honest Yeah, there's goose and there's geese and there's geese. Yes. Why can't moose be me? I'm all for it, you know, I saw some me when I was in Denver huge. Yeah big fuckers Me sir huge fuck you up Yeah, what do you think's the smallest animal that could fuck you up? Oh

Squirrels. Yes, girls. Yeah, birds A bird could fuck you up. Yeah, catch my eyes. Yeah, an owl could fuck your shit Yo, did you ever fucking dissect owl pellets, you know, here's the thing, bro Now you just said that I'm I'm tight. I'm pissed that I said I'll fuck you up No, I'm not mad at the owl comment because an owl Fuck me up. Yeah, but I will say the reason why I got mad is because you said did you ever dissect an owl or whatever the fuck No, no, no, no, anyone's ever dissected an owl owl pellets poop. Yeah, cuz they don't shit out their ass. They regurgitate it They poop out their mouths they poop out of their mouths the owls poop out of their mouths. Yeah, they eat mice and and they

Puked it up. I gotta see this. Yeah, man They don't shit like that. And then we you could we used to dissect them in school You never dissected owl shit I'm gonna First video on YouTube owl taking a shit owl poops and flees the scene. I gotta see a poop though Oh, no, this owl pooped out of its ass. No, no, no, no, no, look at this. That's pooping watch watch watch watch Watch watch watch. Oh, he's stamp. Oh Yeah, he shit out his ass. Yeah, why did they regurgitate their food?

You can't just come on look up. Look up and just say look it up. Look it out. Owls shitting out Pellets they shit it out of their face They shit a pellet out of their face and you could dissect it and it has little bones in it We did it in school So maybe it's like a throw-up thing. Maybe they're like half bulimic. They like poop but also throw up. It's an owl poop pellet. All right The reason why I got mad originally is because I'm listening. I'm listening. Yeah, you better be listening And look up your fucking facts We can't just come on here and say things like owls shit out of their mouths and not expect me to be blown away by stuff like that

Because now people are out there thinking that owls are shitting out of their mouths All right, so here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. You found it that quickly. Yes You have it on fucking ever. It's ever wonder what owl pellets are. Okay. All right. Yes Which of the following best describes owl pellets a owl vomit you just pick one be owl poop See small pieces of chocolate shape like owl eyes Defossilized owl bones the correct answer is a it's owl vomit So they are half bulimic fuck So they don't shit out of their mouths. They don't shit out of their mouths the most famous owl in the world headwig

Hold up. There's the most famous owl in the world. Yeah, bro. He was fucking harry potter's owl. You dumb bitch No, no, no, no, no like the actor owl headwig That's the act. That's the name of the actual owl in the movie. No, no, no, but what's his acting name? I'm sure it's the same Why not just give this fucking owl the name? Whoa, whoa, whoa, when they use fucking Animals and movies they have real names Not airbud wasn't just airbud They made 400 of those movies

This is a fucking owl dogs respond to their names. No one has owls in their house like fucking Parakeets you'd be surprised. I wouldn't be surprised. It's probably a little hicks in the fucking woods that guy The most famous owl in the world headwig the snowy owl the haggard gave harry potter Although the owls and jk rollings books are trusted companions. They are known for delivering mail. Yes. Yeah, I sent them an owl I get it. Yes owls like hawks falcons and eagles are birds of prey That means they feed on insects fish small mammals and even other birds Then they eat other birds. Yeah, dude cannibals. Yeah, it's fucking weird. That's wild and owl has two stomachs The first one called the glandular stomach

Psych uh produces acids chemicals and music that uh music Music You ain't know the mother hell no Now the uh mucus is what I meant to say that helps separate the digestible into adjustable parts of its prey The second stomach called the gizzard is very muscular and grinds up the meat part of the meal Once the meat has been broken down that the digestible The digestible materials move into the owl's intestines the bones fur feathers and scales remain in the gizzard. That's why So they so they have two stomachs. So they have a poop stomach. They don't have a shoot stomach. Yeah, but they don't yeah, okay

Yeah, yeah, they do You wanted to shoot me down so fast. They have a poop in a shoot. Yeah, they have a poop in a shoot But it's not poop. It's throw up. Yeah, it's a shoot. It's a shoot Shoot Shoot What are you doing? I was I can't do this shoot But yo back to what I was saying before the reason why I got upset when you brought that up is because Look at me. What what what do you see when you look at me?

A feminine man. Yeah, right a feminine You know how hard it is for me to say that word say say feminine three times. I can't even say it once feminine feminine feminine feminine Oh, I got it. Damn. So I so uh You see a guy, right? Just so just a run-of-the-mill white guy. Yeah when I was a child I was just a run-of-the-mill white boy. Yeah, you know Living in a neighborhood. That's not terrible. Yeah And I would I went to numerous schools. I went to a catholic high school and not once

Did I get to dissect anything nothing nothing dude? I got to dissect a pig a frog nothing an owl Vomit I didn't I didn't dissect a thing. Wow Bullshit, I never had wood shop class. I never built like a lamp. You never had that. No Damn, did you have did you have homing careers where it's like where you like learn so a bag? You guys were sewing too. Yeah, we sewed that we sewed up there. No Yeah, man. When what age is this seventh grade seventh grade. It's called homing careers. You learned how to cook Everyone cooked a pancake in the class. You cooked pancakes. Yes. It was part of my learning I learned how to make a pancake and I learned how to sew a bag

And I didn't learn any of this shit. I don't have the bag anymore. I used to have it When you think about it cutting it because like frogs is like the most popular one. I'm assuming because I just want to see in movies Yeah Having seventh grader cut up a frog. It's a little little Jeffrey Dahmer if you ask me dude. We had pigs dude Full-on pigs baby pigs and you'd have to you'd have to dexter those things. Yeah Cut them down the middle open their brains Open their skulls and shit. She fucked up You see a pig penis. Yeah, what does it look like? It's not great. I don't they were small though

Like what did you say were like that actual pig was small. Oh, it's like his dick like was an impressive wasn't wasn't sick No, no, no, no, no, no, um, I would remember that Yeah, uh any impressive dick I come across. I remember Right you were saying uh I haven't I haven't cut anything up frog pig. Would you would you do that now? Is that allowed? Yeah, you could probably go somewhere to like dissect something. Do we have to go somewhere? You could probably I don't think see I would probably get a sense of your house

But I would need professional assistance on what I'm doing. Yeah, we can't just start hacking away I don't want to do it crudely, but I would love to dissect an animal Yeah, I don't know for science Dude, how was that a thing like the word they we just shipped dead frogs to schools By the hundreds. Yeah Weird shipment to get I know frogs came in What door does that come in through the cafeteria because I don't want that touching my food Let me tell you something whoever's started that business was dreaming out of their ass

I'll tell you that much Dreams out of their ass. I'm in the dissectable frog business What do you do with the dead frogs? I always make the kids cut them up. Yeah And then you wonder why they uh end up killing people and then where do you put them? You just discard them Yeah, I don't assume you're fucking No, because what it is taxidermy class and then you bring them home The the bio class that I was in is that you look you open it you have like a uh A graph of the actual do you look at autopsy like this one had trauma

Kind of oh, I was gonna say kind of like what it is is like you see you don't look for like the cause of death But you look for The certain things inside the frog that are on the paper And you kind of like we kind of had to like put them this is kind of fucked up We had to like yeah, we had to like match them like with the picture Which was very very very very very strange now that I think about it I'm thinking I'm like yeah You shouldn't you shouldn't be cutting up no animals. No because I wonder if they still do that

Probably no, I've never even heard of anyone. I don't know anyone who has Like my friends haven't cut up animals. Listen, they've had wood shop, but not dissecting animals. Yeah You know Maybe you had too big of a school to do it maybe Yeah, my middle school didn't get like a whole lot of funding So I just that's probably why we never like I'm assuming to buy a bunch of frogs Would be a lot of money. Yeah, I mean how much are the what's in what's the dead frog market? I don't know. It's either we could put like a door to the school or get frogs. Right. Yeah security guards or dead frogs

Yeah Yeah, you had security guards in middle school Yeah, damn. We had like six. Wow. Yeah There was like metal detectors like my last year there too So sounds like a great school Oh, it was a lot of fun to go there. So it was Um, one thing I wanted to talk about real quick before we before we end here uh

The other day I saw um Some dude on the street just taking a picture of himself And then I'm like I started to think about the times that I've done that out on the street And I'm like, man, I really hope someone hasn't seen me do that. Oh, you definitely I've seen you do it You've seen me do that. Yeah And there's like this look you put on like you put on like a like a blue steel You put on like your own little zoolander. Oh, I regret breaking this up. Yeah, and then uh, I've seen you do it

You've seen me do it When I don't think I have I I take pictures in your fucking in your fucking bedroom all I'm not around to see it. I come I'm not in there like I walk through the door and you're like, oh Sorry, oh, I didn't see you there. You ever like go to take a picture yourself and then someone uh Someone like walks in the room and you're just like, I can't see no You know, my go-to is I act like I'm fixing my hair

Oh, you're like, yeah, no. Yeah, and I'll just be like this So it looks like I'm using it as a mirror. Yeah Even that though even that though, it's not I don't know. I just always feel weird, but this dude was just No shame just Yeah, that's yeah I feel like foreign people like they don't give a fuck. Oh, fuck. No Yeah, this is yeah Selfie sticks are intense like in Times Square like if you're here visiting it's like, I'm in new york

So I'm gonna take pictures and I'm gonna fuck. Yeah, but like which I get no, I understand it completely too, but I mean You better get the fuck out of here with that stick though. Oh fuck that stick. I hate selfie stick hate them It's like take take it press the button hate him. It's like this is mandible claw I hate selfie sticks dude. So dumb um Yeah, no, I it's definitely a weird thing to see somebody take a picture of themselves But I I've done it myself. I would want people to see me. It's almost like you feel in some reason you feel invisible when you do it Like nobody could see you. It's like when you're in a car and you pick your nose

Like why are you so comfortable picking your nose in the car? Oh, dude, I slam my nose in the car That's what I'm saying. It's because you do it because you don't think anybody could see you Yeah, probably so when you take a selfie you're so caught up in like your self-centered world that you You're not even thinking about the people around you like oh god people need to see how I look right now Think about what like the psychology Behind a selfie is like what are you thinking in that moment? Like I look good. I look amazing right now I need people need to know Isn't that ridiculous? Yeah, it's kind of it's kind of your caption games like

It's pretty I want mine. Yeah, it's pretty good. What do I caption your selfie captions? What are they usually? Oh, because I I I'm I'm in on I can go to the tape I mean, but I can go to the tape, but they're pretty good. I like them. Oh, yeah, the one I post They have nothing to do with the gym. No, no, no life. No, no, no, no The one I posted at the gym. I just I made it like guess who needs compliments. Yeah, see that's funny Yeah, like I'm in on it. I I know what's going on man. I know how fucking stupid I look doing this But you know you have to do it sometimes you need it Hey, listen, you need a little pick me up from time to time

So I'm saying you need people to be like, hey, you know what you're doing a good job there, bud Absolutely You know what I mean like this one o4 It just says o4. Yeah, I don't know what that was. That's just called. I I I feel hot. I feel hot right now I did feel hot o4 means I feel hot and look at the fucking lighting on this picture. Look at this fucking guy Oh, hell, yeah, I don't know where I I was here then you look nothing like that guy. No, I don't look anything like that. No That guy is hot

o4 You fucking maniac Oh, you look nothing like this guy I love it. I love it. I'm all I'm all about a great like selfie just hey, man hit me hit me with that Hell, yeah, like this one you look super sexy Caption is I miss Denver Yeah, it's scattered. I got the Denver shirt on but you got you thought you got your tricep pop in here Dude, I didn't have anything else to grab. I hear you. I hear you. Well, all I had was a logo on my check

I said it's a one. I like your catching game dude. All right Listen, my dog pissed the bed. All right this week You wake up to a bed full of piss You get first I checked my first I checked my penis. Yeah, my penis wasn't wet. Yeah, then I checked his penis And it was wet. Yeah Before we wrap up here, I just want to give a shout out to our Tier four patrons. Um, it's the $50 tier. We just sent all these people personalized video messages

To their emails. That's one of the perks they get in their thing, but um I Love these Kaley Uh, Zalabowski Zalabowski. It's my girl. Taylor Johnson. Nicole Darylou. Yep. That's a nice last name. Yeah, Darylou's a cool name. It sounds like a beautiful cake. Hell, yeah Libby Nuss, Joe Herrera, Joe Herrera Hey, Joe, hey

Mr. Herrera Karina Dennis Zachary Horn or horny not sure Let's go with horny. Let's go with horny. Obviously for sure. Uh, Mike Pech, uh, Mike Pence. Not Mike Pence. No, no I was like, damn, we got a fucking weird ass fucking patron Drew Jenkins, uh, Joseph Austin, uh, Doyle a three-namer Yeah, you know having three names is very rich. Yeah, it's very rich. You know what I mean? Uh Sandrine Andre, I'm fucking these up dude. Sandrine Andre. There's two with no last name. Just James and LaVenia

Ballers. Yeah, just like just no last name. Yeah, you don't need my last name. Just take this one and shut up. Just My name's James Just take it. Why do you need to know my last name? Why do we have last names? legal reasons That's a good answer It's also the yes It's also the right answer. I would I would even I would even say for sure. Um, a couple $25 patrons also They also get a hot in there. Shout out at the end of uh

Each episode Eric Engelhardt, Bo Chlor, Bo Chlor. I'm not touching that one That is Jennifer Brown. Nice and easy. Nice. Thank you. Thank you, Mrs. Brown. Mikayla Shania Cassidy Benedict That's Swedish Dorfel It's got like the O with the two dots. Benny. Benny dick. Um, this one. I'm not getting John. Holy shit

This is Jakowski. Fuck that way up, dude. We tried. D. Y. S. Z. C. Z. A. K. O. W. S. K. I Yeah, this is Willalski. Yeah, exactly. That's what I said. Catherine, uh, Catherine, Kayla Marie, Justin Allen, Mario Locotero John Castle She want to give a quick shout out to some of these people that are supporting the show Hell, yeah, every episode because you guys are helping it run. So we just want to show you guys some love and uh, Yeah, that's it for this week's episode. That's it. That's it. That's it my laptop You know, I'm gonna keep it right. Yeah. Yeah. Keep it right here. Stop judging him. Yeah. All right Had enough

You good? Yeah, I just want to make sure you're taken care of. All right. So I mean Danny, where can I find you? You can find me um at Danny Lopiori on instagram and twitter Guys, you can go follow the show at the basement yard. Go follow me on social media at Joe Sanagato And our patreon again is patreon.com slash the basement yard patreon spelled p a t r e o n dot com slash the basement yard and uh, don't forget to dream out of your ass Best dreams starting the ass Funnel your dreams through your asshole kids. Hell. Yes dream out that ass. We'll see you guys next time out the ass