The Basement Yard - #178 - Where Is The Grand Canyon?

Episode Date: February 25, 2019

Danny & I had no idea where the Grand Canyon was for a second. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

check check check suck suck this check check it up fuck oh check to suck check to suck I was recording anyway welcome back to the basement I don't know you turned it on usually our Mike checks are way more explicit way more offensive yeah that too anyway it's going on my wire here I'm all fucked you're all tangy I'm all fucked oh tangy boy look at you what I said tangy boy tangy boy you're all tangy you're a little louder too thanks thanks thanks we're a mess anyway here we go one two three give it to me nice like that that's Chris which one's that because that's that's the thing that you do to someone who has a

drinking problem yeah for sure how was that it's all your dreams came true not all of them but I'll tell you this night what I had a dream die recently you had a dream die yeah I've never been I would say I've been heartbroken maybe twice in my life you know second-grade girlfriend mm-hmm you know yo you're one of those kids that told every girl that you ever like met that you loved her absolutely not no no wow what kind of animal are you a real one you've never been like a second grader and been like I like you I like you too and then like the next day was like I love you no I've never honestly I was never really in

love until like you weren't in love I wasn't in love either but I was I was out here throwing around no no no like I would say 15 I was like alright I love somebody but like before then I was just like I'm just trying to forget my freak I don't know I'm saying I'm not talking about actually I'm talking about like you never were one of those kids that like your way message was like 3 10 98 till forever and you thought this was gonna be it no it's 2g it's 2g 2g 2g back then you're not cool no I'm not cool yeah I'm not you're not no I'm not that you're supposed to do when you're a kid you you just everyone thinks you're in love with

you were you were you were you were you were gonna ask for a hug guy what were you gonna ask for a hug guy can I have a hug yeah no there's those I was afraid of girls bro there's those yeah there's guys well you let me get a hug do you remember do you remember when you were younger and the hug started to get introduced yes to you and you're like oh shit we're hugging these bitches now usually we just say hi from far away but it's like oh shit now this is cool what I feel their titties on me yeah and you that you would think that to where you feel their bra yo feeling a bra was so I miss feeling bras I know

they were cool they were great they were good they were just as good as titties back then yeah it's good now but like back then definitely as good I felt her and you remember when the kiss on the cheek started to get implemented yes the girls who started doing that their horse now yeah because it started with a kiss like in like seventh grade but then all of a sudden it started kissing dicks yeah like 10 smell like Marlboro lights yeah for sure yeah but that was my shit back in the day yeah you know hugging was such a big deal yeah but you weren't like can I get a hug no I wasn't but I was just like you know implied

hugs right is what I'm talking about like oh okay what grade does the hug start I would say like middle school but like the end of sixth grade you know I'm saying once it starts get hot when it gets hot right like May June like right at the end it's like all right I'm gonna hug these bitches because it's gonna be a long summer I would say more seventh grade yeah because here's why I feel like when you go to like where I grew up like people will go away to camp and like kind of like their first like little their little thing would be like sixth grade you know I'm saying yeah and then seventh grade their season they've

already kissed a boy so like hugging's not a big deal yeah so now you're hugging you know eighth grade you're full on hugging like arm around like hanging out holding hands holding hands type shit yeah and then ninth grade it's just time to fuck I remember in eighth grade I was quote unquote dating this girl by the way one time I told my mom that I was I was going out with this girl and her response was I thought you'd have a better response I was like mom going out with this girl now and she was we going out with a fucking bus stop that's what she said to me Wow wasn't supportive shot you down yeah

shut me down there's the dark side to her shout out to her though yeah she probably didn't say it the way that I did but she definitely said the bus stop thing I remember that and why she's right no yeah I mean and also yeah I've said this before but that girl broke up with me and she actually said that I think we should see other people in sixth grade in school she's a gangster that girl yeah she got that line from someone you don't just learn you don't just say that yeah my sixth grade girlfriend she broke up with me in the summer by the way we dated for nine months never kissed that's that's sixth grade that's what

I'm a lot though like I was getting after that so weird when somebody's your girlfriend you don't do stuff to him isn't it like a party stuff to him yeah like kiss him on the mouth or hug their body I was I was I was I was trust me I was getting after but it's just weird that like people knew that you were boyfriend and girlfriend but you never did stuff and it was also weird because people would be like just kiss her and like at that point that makes you not want to kiss her yeah no it just made me feel weird no but she told me in the summer she's like I think we should see

other people damn yeah cuz she fucking went away to camp and got turned out shout out to her by the way I saw her like three years ago I was like yeah should have put out in sixth grade oh man ladies put out I would have cried if she did that ladies I would have lost it yeah do you remember that the pinky the pinky like touching no no no remember those nah yeah I've never been one of those people I've never but I've made promises like yo I pinky promise I think ill if a guy and a girl have a handshake that ends with something like that yeah I hate it I hate I hate don't do a handshake into a kiss I don't

like handshakes as an adult if you're not like on the clippers why you doing handshakes yeah if you know yeah like if you don't play a professional sport don't handshake exactly like if you need to hit a walk-off Grand Slam to like have a cool five that's what I'm saying yeah for sure you need to be hitting like 320 or something yeah you know what I mean 320 40 dingers and you can shoot threes but don't be like you know just you were construction and you got the bar like oh yeah what's up man hey yeah and then like you're you fucking guys done yeah right yeah I know but

here's that five bucks are I'll see you later it starts all over again by the way I love this guy that guy what guy the guy it's like it'll be the meme be like after I eat chips just he's like he's doing like a clap I'm tired now I hit myself kind of hard yeah me too my chest hurts I punish myself but no but I love how you said self-punish is that a thing I don't know that just sounds sexual though I know like self-punishing yeah do you do that no you ever jerk off and just like oh my god and squeeze your nipple is you like any pain during sex um I guess so yeah like pleasurable pain yeah of course there is

pledge pain gotta be some pain hell yeah just be nice no it's got to be like as soon as you think it's nice you not like that and this and this isn't a face by the way yeah but or a thigh no I mean I mean it could be a face sometimes if they want that yeah if they want that yeah you know some some people do some people want to get slapped in the face is that is that weird yeah yeah when you really think about it dominating somebody though yeah slapping the shit out of oh my god girl could slap a guy too yeah there's one of my friends who I know likes getting slapped yeah and you know them yeah in the face or like I'm

a butt no in the face damn that dude watches way too much porn I don't know but he likes getting slapped in the face good for him yeah good I mean I don't know if it's like happening all the time but I know in the past it's happened and he was like whoa I like that he thought it was hot he thought it was hot so it was sexy hot I swear to God sexy hot or some pain but none of that like blood stuff I don't think spitting sexy hot you don't think it's sexy like spitting in someone's mouth I mean you think it's sexy hot not my mouth that's what I'm saying I do it yeah I'd do it if they wanted it right I might just go

out here just like you know spitting into mouths yeah I've also never done that I also on the record I've never done that but I'm just saying I do it yeah so back to my broken heart yeah I just it's alright please go forward and all our ads are pulled for there we go now but uh it's been pulled a long time right no but um I found out something very dry like very devastating this week I um I don't even know if I could say this I'll cry I got blocked you got blocked who blocked you stone cold Steve Austin stone cold blocked you blocked me on Twitter on Twitter yep what about

we're still good oh we're still gonna okay we're still on that's the big one now yeah but I mean wait why do you block you on Twitter what you say no idea you said something you had to say some no stone cold not just blocking people for no reason even people in the thread because you know how people are on Twitter they went back and looked and they were like you've never said anything offensive to them oh you tweeted that you were blocked but how did I not see this you tweeted that you were blocking a stone cold I said I can this is one of the worst days of my life you just found out yeah when like four days

ago yeah because they posted something about him I was like that's funny his at isn't coming up so I went to go look and it was like you are blocked by stone cold Steve Austin that's fire I mean it's honored you yeah he's done the shit out of me I was I was legitimately stunned that was it that was it yeah that was a digital stunner digital stunner that's fire I guess what could you have possibly said I mean did you say no never I would never he's my favorite wrestler of all time yeah me too you know so it's like I would never I would never do that to him if anything I would say stuff like yeah like you're a god

like why would he block me for that yeah of course but I think it was I did a vine way way back in the day that went like kind of viral it was like you would always talk shit like your mom and then like when your dad got home it was like stone colds music hit and like he was coming down the ramp oh it beats the shit to beat the shit out of you yeah so that was going around making the rounds and I know he's handling go some domestic abuse things oh he beat up his wife yeah apparently okay yeah so I think maybe whoever I guess his social media team or like was like let's get this away from him we don't want him to

be attached to this sort of thing right I think that's what happened oh that makes some sense I guess that makes sense good about a dad coming home and beating a kid yeah and he's kind of had run in it's not with kids but with his wife right so I don't maybe maybe that's where they were like let's get away from this or he just wanted to stop seeing it yeah people were tagging him in it like crazy yeah that one hurt but there's two ways to look at it one my life's over yeah that's probably the one let's just start with that and two he went out of his way he saw me was like I'm gonna block this guy yeah because you can't block by

accident on on Twitter have you ever had someone be like why'd you like unfollow me and you're like oh yeah I have no idea what happened it's so yeah it's so true it's so fucking true it's so hard to unfollow people it is it's easy to it's easy to follow people by accident on Instagram I've done that numerous times yeah I've accidentally followed people and bitch be like oh fuck yeah like I actually had some I followed like a you know a fan of mine I followed them on on Instagram and then I didn't know for like a while and then I got a dm was like hey man really appreciate you following me and I was like oh man and

I just don't follow fucking baller that's fucked up fuck you guys why I just double that was weird I caught that with two hands I know what the fuck am I doing I don't know you're bad you're five game needs to get improved my five games incredible you're talking over saying people shouldn't have handshakes you just tried to give me a secret handshake I you know what it was I went to go stick this out because it was like you know whatever because I'm going this way yeah but I also felt disrespectful with my left hand yeah I just sneaked a ride in there okay you ever see in movies when people hold people over

cliffs are they the strongest people on earth that's not happening there's no way and I'm catching a man with one arm not only that hangs off a cliff no I don't even bag break and bring up six bags of groceries at once anymore yeah you can't even brick it brick a yo how do you grab onto that I know this is like grabbing a football I can't hang on to a flick of this thing and then it and then it slides it yeah look at that sorry no like you can't even grab onto this and then it slides down oh my god I'm slipping let the guy go okay your shoulders gonna get torn yeah you know something I fall if I was hanging

outside of a cliff good and you were holding on to me yeah you're not you're dead I would tell you to let me go if it meant both of us dying I would say just let me go oh no I'd make that decision I have my there's no reason for me to go to you you say that now you would try your best to save my life I would hold from up from a safe standpoint yeah as soon as I got too dangerous for me I'd be like dude yeah you got a tough break tough break right all right that's great yeah could you just like swing me a little bit to the left or something so I could try and like hit this rock maybe if I hit enough

rocks I'll be all right yeah you know falling's got to be an awful way to go off a cliff yeah well I don't really fuck with cliffs anyway I can't see myself being like near any of them yeah I would I would I would I would I would I would fall with you you're dumb you wouldn't fall with me I guess somebody's got to stick around from the show I guess someone's got to do this I still would do podcasters die on cliff due to due to old's episode where they said they wouldn't let go of each other you know stuff like that's probably gonna pop up all the time I mean this is gonna get more but I hate talking about death and

whatnot but yeah bring it now that now that like everyone posts everything online yeah I feel like it's gonna be way more common that when someone dies unexpectedly to go back and find something that's sort of related to this like oh my god he said that he hated cats and then a cat killed them they I feel like every time we do a show people get stuff and they're like well now that here it is here's the evidence of this these people did this look at these people that fell off a cliff together I'm like you know like somebody sent me just joking just joking around

we're not going to any cliff yes kid but um I want to go to the Grand Canyon though I do too where is that that is in you don't know where it is how dumb are we we don't know where the Grand Canyon is let's both take a guess and look it up I'm gonna say the Grand Canyon yo this is terrible is in oh man can I get both Dakotas okay I'm gonna go out on a limb here I'm not going out on a limb that is so wrong you don't think maybe I'm gonna say like Arizona we're we're both far apart yo this is so bad this is

bad you want me to look it up yeah just look it up it's not in the Dakotas oh my god why do we not know that that's really bad please I hope I'm right something came up for the Grand Canyon diner I was like it's in Brooklyn yeah where's the Grand Canyon um please be in Arizona please god well you can't even look it up well you don't know how to do that either no it's like giving me a whole bunch of shit say where is the Grand Canyon no no no no I said where is and it didn't

work so I had to do what state is the Grand Canyon or is it so big it's in please please god please god am I gonna have to hop in here Arizona boom I just said I didn't have bad internet for a second you know what I think you're thinking of Mount Rushmore yeah where's Mount Rushmore that I think is one of the Dakotas Dakotas uh dude your internet in here sucks fat cock doesn't yeah it does dude sucks fat cock thank god I have the unlimited wing uh plan boom shout out to the guys at

wing mount rushmore location north south dakota yeah that's what I was thinking that was my next guess that's what I was thinking yeah damn you thought the Grand Canyon was in north dakota oh I'm sorry I'm I'm just mix that and mount rushmore up yeah you're sorry because they're completely different you know how the fuck did they make Mount Rushmore who the fuck knows you want to get it you know what off what peace how do they know they got his nose right how do they know when to move on

how did Richie Rich get up there and put his fucking safe in there come on Richie Rich is a great movie great movie and I'm so happy that you got that reference because that joke would have fell so flat nope a lot of people probably don't know that movie I know go watch Richie Rich go back and watch Richie Rich go back and watch I'll go back and watch I don't know why it's sounding like that right now but yo good fucking movie not only all right fuck the movie even though it's great yeah definitely go watch it before all the drugs

still a child anyway how the fuck did they make Mount Rushmore it's one of those beautiful it's like one of those things that shows you this gonna sound weird how amazing human beings are that human beings could fucking make that yeah with their bare hands dude I know and I think about shit like that all the time like there's so many things that are like bridges for how I know did we build a bridge and not only a bridge tunnels that go underwater what's the what's the one

those things are terrifying if you think about them who uh those ones that are underwater those tunnels yeah but I don't think they're like underwater I think they like bro they're under fucking water I mean the water's on top with them technically but I think they go so low that they're in the ground now and then they go on you know I'm saying no it's underwater bro so if I take a sledgehammer and crack it against the side of the the fucking no it's very thick but what I'm saying is the midtown tunnel you ever seen the top of it

have you ever been it's under the ground yeah it's underwater bro yeah but also the ground over the water you know what I'm saying wait so it's technically under a river right the east river okay so yeah I guess you can get to the bottom of a river of course it's yeah of course it's not yeah but it's not like the ocean where it's like Jesus Christ no no there's no way I've undiscovered shit no no no there's no treasure you say treasure I just tried to say something I don't know

we've had like maybe 11 mispronounced words yes what percent is that this is uh this is uh eight oh it's only gonna get worse oh it's gonna get bad but I guess it could go through the water underneath but I just think it's just underwater bro like then how would you build that do they build bridges underwater mad people died the George Washington bridge all that who built a bridge underwater yeah if you look at the George Washington bridge it's not underwater what do you think a bridge does it's above water you jackass I

understand but the pillars have to be some some place yeah you just put them in the water how you do that you're fucking you know a dolly a dolly this guy fucking expert over here I'm saying as you said put a bridge underwater the part of the bridge is underwater okay yes you put it in yes the the the pillar that holds it up is in the water yeah you take a bunch of fucking concrete and you fucking shape but how do you get down there you build divers Danny yeah but when they built the George Washington bridge

with the fuck is diving down there I know they had some athletes some guys it's just astonishing to me oh it's it's astonishing you know I don't understand also those fucking guys that built like the Empire State Building they're sitting on beams yeah eating bologna sandwiches a thousand feet in the air like dude you're not worried about like a crosswind coming here and knocking your peanut butter and jelly sandwich and your body off the building here I would I'd be terrified at your lunch pail yeah yeah

but that's insane did you ever have a thermos fuck yeah dude what's like did you put drinks in it or you put fucking soup in it like a crepe damn I had mad soup in that shit I knew it no no no soup creep I put I put some what am I gonna put in a coffee I'm fucking eight no my mom used to put like some juice up in that bitch why use it why put juice in a thermos juice I like that why because put it in like a cup or like a juice box is she gonna put a cup in a lunchbox bitch get a juice box bitch

no you don't like high C no this is bad for the environment dog I like high C but like I guess back then she was like I don't want to do that no one was so she's like you know my mom had three kids can't just go out and buy boxes she bought the big shit that was free knock off fucking first of all you go to fucking BJ's you get a pack of five thousand and it's like eight dollars you just chuck them at your dumb kids when they're not walking out the door hey I didn't really have lunch growing up that got sad really my parents didn't feed me

no it was your typical lunch at school I wasn't like brown bag and it is what I'm trying to say no my my parents I only had my lunch sometimes they never packed my lunch but like they actually they did until I got to like first grade yes but like no no no first grade yeah bro I was on that lunch line damn that's too young to be lying in it no yeah I was on that line fuck we had there's four lunch money and shit I can't handle money at first grade no no no we it wasn't lunch money I think it was covered by the it was

like public school so they just like we wouldn't pay for it paying for lunch in school fucking bullshit yeah why are we doing this why are they doing that to kids and then what they're eating is garbage I had to buy lunch in high school what'd you eat in high school man dog shit like I mean we had good food but I would eat dog shit like I would go out of my way to do like mozzarella sticks and shit oh hell dude every morning every morning when I got to high school I don't know why I'm calling it high school when I got to high school no when

I went to school I would go there before classes started I go downstairs I get a bacon egg and cheese always a sugar cookie and a you who every day good and I still look like this yeah no wonder you shit your pants every day though for like a year I wonder why my my head like IBS and shit I'm letting you know this we had 30 kids going to the school at the same time so we we had a lunch plan so we never had to pay for lunch yeah Mike and my sister because it was like it's ridiculous right make three kids pay for one

I would eat the worst food we used to have burgers he's called rat burgers that's how gross they were why did you call them rat burgers because they were just gross and like so well done that you know like when you go to like like you're at the beach and sometimes they sell like burgers but those ones that sit like in 7-11 and like those little like toasters that are there all the time I know they're there but I would never eat them because I'm not a psycho but you've seen them though right and they're in those aluminum foil bags that's what I would eat

oh I've eaten those though actually yo hold up a bacon like a bacon rat burger that's what I would have every day for lunch yeah didn't mind it back then I mean I you know honestly I think about I'm like oh my god I was grossed out by it but when you mentioned the aluminum foil I was like wait yo I remember the yeah dude and it was so bad but so good yeah and one they had different labels for like this one has cheese and this one is like red yes yes yes it was red if it was cheese yo yes fuck yeah there was this lunch lady that I had that was like a cashier

and every morning what I swear to god so I would get the you who every morning which by the way it's diarrhea yeah uh so spoiler alert it's diarrhea um with sugar so very good though I would buy oh what's amazing so I would go to the lunch lady and I like ring up my shit and she would just announce everything which would get me so angry like well I get put my business in the street like that she'd be like bacon egg and cheese sugar cookie and a yahoo she said it like every morning she was yahoo

super mario's fucking lunch lady yeah my bitch it's 745 give me that big how just bring it up how burnt was your bacon oh it was black it was disgusting yeah school bacon is the worst you want to hear how awful this is my high school reunion is in the school cafeteria are you calling I missed one already go dude I'm gonna go to the 10th one yeah it's fun my 10 year anniversary was awesome when did I graduate oh I saw I have you'll be 28 next year it'll be next year that would be my 10 year but there was like a five year that I didn't go

five years is nothing I wouldn't go to that shit either I think it was five years yeah my yeah I think it was five years but I was like I just saw you guys yeah go to your 10 year fucking stunt yeah I didn't go but I I honestly a fucking stunt oh you guys still here what's up no but I feel like after 10 years like everyone changes like a lot after five years it's like I just got out of college like what do you want me to do yeah I barely have a job and like you know I'm saying you want to know what was crazy at mine I went to school with two people that actually transitioned in my grade they were trans

yeah they showed up yes different yes did you guys do the whole name tag thing no no no no our school was so small dude we only had 100 people in our grade something like that but for have to have two people transition in our grade yeah figure what are the odds that's what I'm saying yeah but only one of them showed up and they were delightful you talk to them yeah which way did they go uh female to male nice yeah yeah but uh it was like it was very cool it was very cool 10 year anniversaries are crazy because there's some people you're like holy shit yeah I haven't seen that person in

10 fucking years I will say that I went on Facebook and saw you know some people from from high school man some of them just having some dog days haven't going through it all right definitely need to turn it around do you think your penis was the same size now as it was in high school honestly do you think your peeing peeing grows it's from high school to it it's honestly hard to tell it is it's kind of like you know you have a puppy and someone comes over they go whoa this guy got big you know and you're like oh I

didn't even notice because I'm with them all the time it's kind of the same thing my dick if I wouldn't here's what I'll say wouldn't be surprised if it hasn't all right I think I'm in the same boat there hasn't been noticeable changes to my dick where I'm like yo since high school I got to show people this thing yeah yeah because like on the other show um when I turned 30 I was like yo 15 years ago I was 15 yeah I thought about that I was like yeah was my dick the same size when I was 15 I wonder what age like your dick stops growing probably like 18

I don't know if you know what that means there's probably an 18 roller now that's just like double the size of a dick oh yeah easily yeah crazy dude like Zion Williamson's dick it's probably just like just unbelievable it's bigger than ours put together larger than life yeah it is you know I'm saying shot to the back shoot boys that was a jam aren't they back together they make like new music right yeah I haven't heard any of it yeah no that's no good I would love to get together and party with the back shoot boys fuck yeah hear about stories a lot of blow probably hey yeah wait don't they

have a gay guy oh no that's in sync that's that's that's Lance Bass remember you wanted to go to space you wanted to be an astronaut what Lance Bass wanted to be an astronaut he wanted to go to space yeah bro you want to be the first gay singer in space yeah you think there's any gay astronauts I'm sure there is how many wait I don't know how the fuck how many astronauts are there so I was gonna say I don't think there's that many I mean just I would say I would say there's probably a couple hundred like the NBA like there's only a couple hundred NBA players yeah and like think about how hard they had to work to get there how

many people are in the NBA 12 on a team 32 teams I don't know why you're even trying to figure that out because it's not gonna like compare no but I'm just saying like it's probably that type of thing it's probably a very small fraternity oh I think people who go to space is like those severely not space I don't think like like oh just to be an astronaut just be an astronaut wait are you an astronaut if you never get up there see I don't know do you have to leave earth's hemisphere to be technically an astronaut otherwise you're just like a guy who works at NASA yeah I work on the ships but I've never been there

yeah so what's the point another thing that sucks to it doesn't suck but I do I don't understand it is why is there have to be so much code when people talk in like those situations like alpha delta uh everything's a code no but it's they're just like their units yeah but what about like planes say like people that like like uh not moderate planes but like they um like air traffic control air traffic control why can't you just be like hey man there's a train uh train there's a plane coming divert yeah there's a plane coming from this uh like southwest hard left but why is everything like alpha tango bravo 69 flight 31887 I don't know

we got a 69.8 uh decrease it's like why like who why are we talking like that I don't know just fucking talk to be normal confusing me I don't know I honestly I couldn't even confirm that people talk like that to be honest with you I've never I've never been in the tower no you never never see oh I watch this whole thing there's a flight simulator yeah I would never I'm even scared of that yeah there's a flight simulator we should do that no I'm down I'm crashing that plane yeah probably yo you know how like back in the day where shit was like kind of safe or maybe we just didn't give a fuck and they would just let kids like oh I'm gonna go say hi to the pilot yeah first of all

no distractions up top okay don't yo pilot can I take a picture with you dude I'm flying a plane I'm responsible for 80 lives get the fuck back to your seat little joey take these little plastic wings to get the fuck out of my face so I'm saying and like but also it was like hey can I go see the pilot and the and the stewardess like yeah fuck it come up yeah get them the fuck out what if the kid sneezes falls and he like you know hits a button isn't like autopilot though because I feel like there's always pictures of pilots like yeah they just like all the gears are here yes and they're just like I'm like what fly the plane being in a plane is kind of wild because there's like 10 000 buttons but I feel like you only need this one yeah the one that you kind of that's another thing too make a

plane with less buttons way less buttons why are we yeah what are we turning what are we just getting turned on just get a button that turns them all on get a turn all on button get an alexa in there yeah alexa fly the plane alexa turn the fucking put the the wheels up all right the wheels up oh my god no I know I'm at the world today yeah I know it's cuz fucking stone cold bro it all comes back have you ever blocked anyone on on instagram yeah of course see I don't like to block people on instagram because then now I know and it's also like blocked users and now they join this exclusive club that's like always following me around you know you are a maniacal fuck yeah I am that's crazy yeah that's some wild shit it's like oh like this all these eight people are still in my life

because they're here because they're in the block section they're on the blocked users yeah but they can't fuck with you like I'll mute the shit out of someone yeah I mean people that I follow all the time oh I know I follow I think 130 people on Instagram I would say a good 40 of them are muted how about me losing 4,000 followers yesterday I lost 20,000 followers hey you got yours back you fucking whore yeah I did let's see if I got mine back now I got it now I'm scared now I'm gonna check mine you fucking bitch nope still still lost yes yours are all fake that's why mine are real yeah but for yeah I was I always follow I always follow 914 people strictly because it's it's the area code that I grew up in that's fucking awesome do that so it's so

sick it's so far yeah it's close to here yeah it's better than getting a tattooed on my ass or something that's true you know what I'm saying hey guys let's not tattoo area codes on us okay all right no one wants to know where you live geographically okay nobody gives a shit you know I think people care you care about yours about what 917 or whatever 718 718 area code do you care about it a little bit I probably care about it too much but I think that's just like a queen thing to do well I change I change mine I can get how yeah no but it's not your phone number it's like your area code like ours is 718 yeah it's like I'm from the 718 right it's a pride thing it is like 914 that's like Yonkers hate it's Westchester is it yeah so it's like that's why

you follow 914 yeah so you have a tattooed on your Instagram I have a tattooed on my Instagram but for some reason it's down to 877 now I did a lot I didn't unfollow those people so now you gotta follow a bunch of random accounts what I'm thinking is because I looked at like a whole bunch of people that I do follow close friends I was like yo I don't want them to think I unfollow them but I'm still following all of them I don't know what accounts got unfollowed yeah that's the weird thing and isn't it weird a part of me got a little upset when I saw that 4000 drop that is weird what are they doing over there no I think it's weird that you're upset about oh no I wasn't upset I was just like oh fuck why did that happen to me I think they just

clear out inactive accounts yeah but then they gave me back 4000 yeah I don't know you're still down 20 000 yeah you can't look me look me in my eyes right now okay that 20 000 doesn't hurt a little bit no I don't really don't care not at all no not one smidge no not one midge no god I'll be honest with you you're so centered it would I'll be honest with you I don't know what amount of followers would hurt my feelings 700 000 gone uh it would really set me back well the reason why you'd be making a phone call you'd be tweeting I mean I'd be like what happened but uh I don't know see I'm telling you don't I'm just saying 90 percent I'm just saying don't sit here and feed me some bullshit I'm not feeding you bullshit I'm just saying I would tell you this

if a hundred thousand disappeared I probably wouldn't really care that much I'm serious why why bullshit why is that bullshit because it's the 700 000 people I know that but listen man that's 100 000 people that you know potential people that could watch the show and they'll be back that's true they always come back yeah anyway uh I gotta get the sponsors real quick there it is I almost went down there I know people hate when I grab my laptop but anyway today we have two sponsors for the show uh first being harry's razors okay shaving this this glorious face look at it okay you see this boom ba ba ba bang um harry's okay you're right yeah I'm good all right cool uh harry's founders were tired of paying up for razors that were overpriced

over designed you know what I'm saying they bought a world-class blade factory in Germany that's been making quality blades for over 95 years you know what I'm saying 95 years of blade making gotta be doing something right that's what I'm saying that is what I'm saying right now harry's replacement cartridges are just two dollars they have 20 thousand five star reviews on trust pilot and google and uh that's half the price of Gillette fusion pro shield okay boom half the price harry's razors 95 years quality german blades there ladies and gentlemen um but yeah I've been I've been using them for a while I've been using them for a while whenever I shave my face I use my harry's razors man plus I get them for free so it's it's popping and also

the replacement cartridges two dollars like give me a break come on you know harry's holler at me oh yeah dany needs some dary needs some harry's yeah come on uh look at that face you might need a couple boxes here but oh yeah um right now you can get a 13 value trial set that comes with everything you need for a close comfortable shave uh comes with a weighted handle a five blade razor with a lubricating strip and trimmer blade a rich lathering shave gel and a travel blade cover okay I think you can't avoid too many things that's a lot of stuff but it's a lot of stuff 13 dollar value trial set um and right now you can redeem it by going to harry's dot com slash basement uh that is harry's dot com slash basement get that trial set try it out you like it

you know i'm saying you tell me you tell me I can get a trial set that's worth how much 13 dollars and I can get a free try it out go to harry's dot com slash basement redeem that trial set ladies and gentlemen uh also we have a new sponsor for of the show better help um better help is basically like online counseling so if you're going through anything they have some licensed professional counselors who specialize in depression stress anxiety relationship sleeping trauma anger self-esteem anything if you need someone to talk to uh better help uh can be there and they'll connect you with a professional counselor in a safe and private online environment and the cool thing about it is they have four communication modes uh like text chat phone video you know

whatever you need um so yeah that's really cool you know it's just two people who are you know advocates for all that stuff listen I'm in therapy every week that's what I'm saying I will I'm I actually gonna check that out there you go check it out um it's a truly affordable option the basement yard listeners you'll get 10 off your first month uh month with the discount code yard so when I could start it today you go to betterhelp.com slash yard that's betterhelp.com slash yard better help better help better pizza I was thinking about that speaking to you think you think you'll ever go to therapy here's the thing I I think that therapy is like I I've never been but I would like to because I

think that it's just like going to the gym yeah like it just keeps your absolutely good thing to have yeah but would you like need something like um god forbid but I mean like something like tragic to happen in your life to go to therapy or do you think you would just go one day um no I'm the type of person that kind of like deals with everything themselves yeah so what was that what was that you think I'm I shut you up no no no you don't shut I don't think you shut it you know at all no I don't think I shut you out either I think you're I think you're an over thinker you think I'm an over thinker yeah I want to hear more about this no no no like you're over thinker like in terms of like like when you get a lot of things on your plate you want to do them

all and you want them done like now yeah so you're constantly thinking about uh uh what's next you know what I'm saying yeah so it's like you you you live in the now but you're kind of like always talking about the future you're kind of a couple steps ahead yeah that's a problem that I have I think like that's like the one thing yeah and I don't think that's overthinking I think yeah that's different I don't know what the right terminology is but that's what I'm saying yeah I need to be more present but I feel like I've been better in like the like so far but like what are we saying what's going on but but uh there there I was actually having a conversation with someone once and I'm saying how it's so hard for me because sometimes I you know I'm just

out to to dinner or I'm out at bar and I'm but I'm not there because I'm thinking about like what shit that I have to get done and like whatever I'm like I don't want to fucking do that I'm like that too though like I used to never be like that I used to like think about shit like my second fuck it so I definitely adopted that from you a little bit but like it's hard to be present sometimes because we have to do everything ourselves I just like it though like I like getting things done I like watching things grow and I'm always thinking about these things but in a way you are doing something though what you're just doing like work no yeah you know but I think you find I think you find solace in that I do when I don't like I always get afraid

that I'm like what's enough because when you you know when you hear about these like billion dollar companies and it's like yo they were they were cutting they weren't even paying these people minimum wage and they were getting away with it for so long like why are they doing that right and it's because it's never enough if you're if money's the thing it's never enough yeah you know so it's like even though you have all the money in the world you literally can afford anything you know like people have like like you know billions of dollars right they can afford anything they want they still try to save as much money and use certain credit cards to get points back and invest in certain things so they don't have to pay taxes and it's like you know why are

you doing that you're bringing so much revenue you never have to worry about money for the rest of your life and neither do your children or their children right so what so what is it and it's just it's never enough for those people because then money it's a mind state once money becomes something that doesn't matter it's a game now how much could I actually get do you think you've reached that kind of hell no no but I'm saying like that kind of mentality you think you could adopt that mentality oh I don't know it's hard to say but I do think that you know it is it's for someone that not that I was poor growing up but I didn't really have like a lot of shit right tough compared to what I have now I can see how someone could be completely complacent in that and be like this is good enough

for me right and like not really want to move up and I want to constantly move up and like I'm always thinking about how do I do more shit and like when cool shit happens people are like uh you know why are you not excited about this or like why are you like whatever like this some people always say to me is like why aren't you excited and I'm like because I'm just fucking you know I'm saying like I gotta keep going you know I'll be excited later we don't really have a lot of time to be excited no I I'm never excited no nothing excites me it's true no but it's like you know you you have certain goals for yourself and it's like I'm not excited because I'm not there yet like this is cool you know I I can see myself doing way bigger things but I do think about how

if it ever got to a crazy point like if I built out some crazy media company and just making billions of dollars and it's like oh fuck would I be one of those people that would be like all right now money is a fucking game yeah like would you be like one of those weird shudden people like like uh like you said on another like another episode like how I have a relationship like with my doorman would you be like you would never have your relationship with your doorman see that's another thing uh no that I would you would once you hit that point no no no I I'm I wanted I'm doing that now oh like I've I've made an effort not that it takes a crazy effort it's just how do I say this without sound like a sociopath I think that was like 10 episodes dude you're good

don't worry about it we all know where you're coming from these days I never realized how much of an impact being like knowing random people in your so there are random people in your life that are consistent yeah you know and I never looked at it that way I always looked at it as that's a random person like I don't need to know them yeah you know and and that's wrong that's not what it is but if you constantly see some certain people so bartenders yeah doorman people who work at your gym people who go to your gym yeah and just random people that you always see I see I see these people these random people more than I see some of my friends that's what I'm saying I know everything about them I should engage these people right and I've been making an active

effort to do that now uh to talk to these people introduce myself and like do whatever like I'll now I'm like like the other day I was at a random bar and there was a guy who the bartender looked like fucking Johnny Depp and usually I would just not say anything and just like whatever and I would like wait till he got outside and be like but then I'd like engage them and I was just saying like yo anyone ever tell you like Johnny Depp and what did he say and he's like no and I was just like and I was like I don't believe you and then he's like no one said that to me today I was like that I believe yeah because it was early it was like 11 o'clock the next why I was at a bar 11 o'clock yeah that's the next thing but then he gave me a drink for free right after that see that because

I was just you know I'm saying I'll tell you like um it's crazy how much people um are just looking for human connection throughout the day just like uh just to have a conversation like dude I have people that live in my building I have no idea what their names are I have a pleasant conversation with them every day yeah you know because like we have certain stuff we talk about like sports or like I have a sports guy on my floor yeah I have a news guy on another floor uh I have a door man who has like you know the news guy every day you see him Trump yeah I'm all the time he's like I'll go and shut down I have a stock guy that lives on my floor too so like there's people like I see more than I see my friends I see them every day yeah and it's like if I don't have relationships

with these people it's weird it's weird yeah you know like if I don't if I walk by my door man like my door man opens the door for me right not you're gonna be like I'm gonna ask me how his day was I know how his day was weren't there but I'm still gonna ask yeah but I just think like networking and having random connections places that's so awesome to have that type of shit yeah and I'm I'm someone who's like I really enjoy like human interaction and like that's why I always said like growing up like people thought I was crazy because I was like I think being a bartender is like one of the greatest jobs ever just because like not in like a very busy place but a place that's like busy enough that you'll make your money but also slow enough that you can get to

know your customers like a male bartender what because I feel like female bartenders just get like take this shot with me oh my god take this shot yeah it's like Jesus what do you need sweet hot all the time whoa can I have another three of these tanks baby look look at her look at her look at her didn't see something it's unbelievable just look at it I'm fucking believable how she not scooped up by some fucking athlete or something it's beyond me you basically just go to your job and get hit on hard yeah it's disgusting dude yeah but a buying a bartender would be a cool job though I still want to do it like my dream is to own a bar that's dope that's my that's my actual dream probably not my dream when I do it though can I go out on a limb what you could probably

could be like part owner of a bar now yeah I could probably be a part owner of a bar but I don't it would still be a risk like I could do it a financial risk you're saying yeah yeah I could I could do it but then also uh if it did not work out not that I'd be on the street or anything it wouldn't be great it would suck yeah I might get fired for real no you wouldn't get fired but if you sink like a hundred fifty thousand dollars into a bar that's rough it's a hundred fifty thousand dollars you know I'm saying like for anybody that sucks yeah nobody wants to lose so you know once you have like you know like five million dollars in the bank then maybe you could go part owners on something yeah yeah or you could get your own bar at that point I just like

that whole industry is fucking crazy to me like restaurant and bar business it's probably the hardest business to run yeah and I think it has to be I think also you need uh they say like the first two years you're in the red no matter what oh yeah which I would like just off that statement alone to be like no I'm good I'm all set I'm all set I'm gonna keep this money you know it's crazy you ever watched fucking Gordon Ramsay kitchen nightmares no yo you have to start watching it the way that this person yells at people is unbelievable it's creative it's if that's the word you want to use he'll be like yeah uh bring me this he's like this is fucking shit who made this and then he's you know he calls people stupid yeah idiots right

imagine you own a business that's his appeal but like is it for our like why why do I enjoy that so much why do I enjoy watching this guy it's not happening to you that's exactly what it is I mean it happens to you it's voyeurism voyeurism yeah it's not like when you want to watch people jerk off no but I think like as like people we're voyors like we want to see it happen to other people just not us yeah you know I mean like why do we go why why do we go see people get fucking like why do we watch shows where people get killed and shit that's why when people they they watch this show and like we talk about a bunch of shit sometimes we offend certain groups of people it's like whatever I don't give a fuck like we're just I'm not saying anything bad here I'm just

kind of having fun yeah fuck space and then as soon as you say something that pertains to that actual person where it's like oh no this thing that you're talking about actually means something to me now like now I'm gonna choose to be upset it's like dude you can't do that no you can't get upset about because I said something about fucking uh I don't know we talked about like you did like a Chinese accent on one of those episodes that we did and then it's like oh yo I'm offended by this like dude we've been doing the fucking all kinds of shit on this yeah I and no one said it work I honestly think it's like um especially on this show it's like if you get offended by the show I think you're dumb yeah it's because here's why like you said if you're coming here for like real

logical conversation I'm worried about you logical comment just a little bit yeah you know what I mean but like I think in it's so easy to have a voice though to like leave a comment yeah you know what I mean but it's like I'm not gonna embrace back with a comment that's why I love fucking muting people on Instagram yeah because like I want to avoid the awkwardness of me not having to see you and you not know about it yeah what's so wrong about that I just don't want to see it but what's so wrong about muting something I wouldn't be offended if somebody muted me I really wouldn't you're probably muted by people I'm sure I'm sure I'm definitely muted but yeah like I like I'm sure someone doesn't want to fucking see me sing about titties for the ninth day in a row yeah

don't unfollow me just mute me dog yeah I'll tell you this yeah I have some do's and do's on Instagram what do you mean like things you should be able to do and things that you shouldn't what do you mean and you do one of them well I'm sure I do a lot of things that you shouldn't do on Instagram no no no I think you're you're pretty Instagram safe you're Instagram safe but there's one thing that you do here we go your dog has an Instagram account oh yeah I'm a white guy but I understand that but listen your dog's not writing the captions don't write the dog doesn't know how to write it's cute Danny I know it's cute but you could post pictures on your account with your dog I'm white Danny it's in my blood to make a

fucking Instagram for my dog I can't fight my I'm gonna make half an Instagram for my dog how's that yeah yeah you know I'm saying I just I have to all I'm saying is this you're just like you have to come in here you gotta do dishes yeah sure you know I'm saying yeah it's a routine little racist but uh I had a level of the racism you know yeah yeah I wanted to be in there with you I understand you want to walk in my shoes I get it I want it to be you know I'm saying if we're going down we're going down together I'm jumping off the cliff with you but yeah God forbid you already said you're letting me go but it's fine but it's cool why do the captions have to be as if the dog wrote it I don't know the dog can't it's a dog it can't read

hey I wish I had an answer for you the only one I have is that I'm a white dude who uh loves his dog I get it I get it we throw birthday parties for my dog I know you know I'm saying we sing happy birthday to our dogs I know you do it's disgusting I know it's gross it's gross it's gross also another don't of Instagram don't make a couple account on Instagram don't do that I don't want to see that shit couple YouTube channels are huge huge they're they're terrible they're awful then I love when they break up they do a video yo breakup videos on YouTube fucking stupid we broke up you know it's you know it's the worst and listen I'm I'm sorry and like you guys already know this because if you've been watching me for a long time you get it but when they start off those videos

like you know I feel like we owe it to you guys to talk I don't fucking owe you anything what are you nuts leave me alone I dude if when people say that it drives me insane you know I feel like it owe it to you guys because you I owe you an explanation dude you're crazy that's why I love why do you owe your random ass people they like your videos because you go to Starbucks and make little designs take pictures of leaves and shit like whatever those fucking youtubers do they don't they're not following you because you fuck you know I'm saying yeah I'm going through some shit just go through the shit we feel it's right to tell you guys and completely split you down the middle so um we're breaking up and we decide to make a clickbait thumbnail at the same

time and then they cry oh my god and then they're edits too cry out the edit out the cry it should be on if you break up on YouTube unedited I don't give a shit if I see edited breakups fake dude I hate that also like I hate the breakup videos another thing I owe it to you to I owe you an explanation what the what are you my parents yeah why the fuck would I have to explain that another one inspirational quote Instagram handles enough okay all right don't do it I don't go to Instagram to read I go to Instagram to look at pictures I don't want to read not only that god damn it but like sorry there's there's a bunch of people now that try to be Gary Vee oh and that haven't done anything yeah why would I be motivated by you yeah I just said that word really

motivated by you why would it be motivated by someone who's just like you know what you gotta do you gotta follow your dreams like dude you have 2000 followers yeah and it's also like dickhead you don't think I'm doing that yeah tell me something I don't know that's just all right tell me what I should invest in or like all those pages and know what they do they have that they do that one video it's like there was a man that walked out to the beach and he held his head under water he said hello yeah he said I'm starting to get cold he said you do it again I can't breathe that's Eric that's fine I Beyonce didn't eat yeah so his name is Eric Thomas he's a famous that she got me hyped though yeah well he's the one who's fucking said it yeah I was like yeah I'll run for a

wall for this man and everyone adopted it and like there's these random pages they have like 2000 followers and they'll be like oh yeah there was a there was a man he was a guru and he brought his like guy out he said come out walking to the water then he held his head under water nearly drowned him and he said is if you want to be like you see how bad you wanted air if you want to be successful that bad you'll get it that's what success turns into air dude I just I can't with the motivational stuff on Instagram it just it drives me insane it's like I like to find organic inspiration of course I don't want to find inspiration that I'm forcing my that that is being regurgitated that's what I'm saying don't regurgitate inspiration something you've heard

before it uninspires me it does it makes me upset it makes me really look at me I'm yelling yeah I'm sorry what are you saying no that's all I was gonna say what else you got no I'm just another do and don't of animals you're out on that motivational motivational couples accounts yeah and fan page accounts oh fan page accounts are weird they're so fucking weird why are you following a fan page when you can just follow that person yeah wow deep come on and then some of them have like hundreds of thousands of followers I don't get it now like you're the president of their fan club basically I think some people take pride in that but I also think they're like 13 and like I'm gonna find every clip of Ariana Grande walking

out of a hotel right and I'm gonna post it yeah like would you follow your own fan page no you can't right no a lot of people do though they follow their own shit I think that's nice I think like if somebody like built up a following that was so big even though I hate it I would do it to be nice like this these people go they like like me so much it would only like help my image but behind like closed doors would be like this fucking weird you know what it is I just was I just can't relate to it I'm not gonna say it's like super weird because I don't even know if it is because I don't want to be a psycho and be like oh god so weird like I just never been the person who's in like star shrug or no I'm not I'm not either you know like I never I never was that guy

who was like oh my god this is my favorite person I'm gonna buy all their posters I'm gonna buy everything they ever put out and like all the shit like I'm just not I was just never attached to anyone that much so I don't I don't relate to it I don't get it why some people are I don't get like fanaticism is that is that the right word yeah I mean I appreciate it because there are people who are you know some are fanatics of this show yeah I am more so like I definitely appreciate people like my favorite comedians my favorite athletes and my favorite whatever like I'll buy tickets go to their show yeah and like when when there's some merch like I'll buy it that's how I show like my fanaticism yeah yeah but but like fanatic and being a fan are different things

I mean obviously they come from the same whatever but like a fanatic to me is like yo I'm buying everything and I'm spending most of my time like looking at what you're doing right that's when I start to feel like I don't know but I love it too like listen we sell merch on this show but it's like don't ever spend your last twenty dollars on a shirt from our show yeah don't do that that's crazy like as much as I love you guys and like would love like money from all of you I'll shout my Venmo out at the end of the episode but like you know what I'm saying it's like that's like a fanatic to me like I would never like drive seven hours to see like one direction people do that shit some people fly to different countries for that and good for them and good for

them in a way I just I just never have understood it yeah you know I've never yeah I don't know like even like with like athletes I get it and I don't get it I get it and I don't get it but it's like with athletes though there would have to be something planned around it so like for instance like we went to Denver but we went to like go to do like a bunch of different things and if one of those things is see we went to a Broncos game right it wasn't the reason why we went like I'm not even a fucking Broncos fan like why would I go but like some people do that as well so I can kind of get it on that level where it's like what's the difference if I really like one direction and they're playing in Denver why can't I just go to Denver to see them because you know if you're

if you're a fan of the Broncos you're like fuck it I'm gonna go to a Broncos game this year I'm gonna go to Denver yeah and go see the Broncos but I'll be the first one to say that it's weird it's like why do we care about the Giants yeah I like there's no reason what the fuck do they do for us nothing nothing and I would say like make us sad it's like yeah we had a bad game last week my dad's like you're on the fucking team I was like what it's like you're on the team why are you saying we it's true I was like I don't know and it's like why do I care I don't know if the Yankees lose three games in a row it affects my mood uh yeah like it's weird because you know it's like I yelled at people because the Giants lost yeah don't fucking talk to me we completely contradicted

ourselves I know and it's sure you know but no but you know what it is it's like I get it being like I'm talking about personally of a of a of a person like of one person yeah you know of a team in sports I guess like yeah that is a little hypocritical of being like I'm a big fan of sports and this is just my team in my city you know there's a lot of factors it's not though what they play in New Jersey they're the New York Giants when's the last time to play in New York hey man oh I'm saying isn't that weird we have a New York team that plays in New Jersey they can't build a fucking thing here where they're gonna go fucking places in Queens they got that fucking dirt ass team over there

what got the mats over there in Queens oh yeah Brooklyn they have a nice stadium though yeah city field it's nice so awesome yeah it's very nice I really want to go to a lot of games they have great beers we should go to the Yankees we should go to the subway series fuck yeah yeah get that get that going I think I go every year to that I missed last year I didn't go oh I went I sat real close and that's when I got kicked out remember that hell yeah fucking drunk as shit man I was drunk you could get real drunk in baseball games and not even know it sneaks up on you uh I get most times when I get drunk I like not realizing yeah I think when you yeah like I used to not care like I used to like be uh

used to be the guy that's like yo I'm gonna get drunk as fuck tonight and like playing on it you know now when I get really drunk the next day I'm like oh fuck I'm embarrassed I fucked up but I don't even do anything crazy yeah but I get embarrassed and sometimes I'll post in my story yeah and if I think even like the slightest bit like it hasn't happened in a while but if I sound the slightest bit drunk I'm like oh I have to delete that because I should get embarrassed now I like when you get drunk and tell me to write things down I tell you do that oh you don't even know do you know what you sent me the other night I don't know I'm not gonna say it on here because it was kind of like personal personal okay but you were like write this down oh it was

like some inspirational yeah and I was like yeah I get hyped when I get drunk I was like yo I was like I'm getting really hyped but I don't know Joe's drunk right now no yeah yeah yeah no no no you know why I do that because when I get drunk and then if someone's having a conversation with me about what I do right then I get really amped yeah because I'm excited about like the plans that I have and what I want to do with the future and blah blah blah and then I just have to tell you like you're part of this I have to be like yo Dan you write this down I swear to God you're like write this down I was like it's in my phone it's uh it's gonna stay there I literally went copy notes paste I wrote it down we're good as long as I don't lose my phone we're good wait

did you actually put it all I have everything wait you have it in your notes yeah can I read it you want to read it out loud well it depends I'll read it don't read it out loud I'm telling you okay okay let me read it first yeah it's probably so obnoxious and just out of control yes I can't believe you put it in your notes actually yeah yeah usually like I have this one friend if he calls me after 10 p.m I know he's drunk and I never pick up his phone call because he always calls me like yo dude I found this guy from Sweden he's gonna do your merch and I'm like dude who always not like at all all right not all of it's in here I'm gonna get all of it because I want you to read all of it real quick no no let me just see it let me just see it let

me see what you have there I have it right here okay I'll remember once I see what you wrote don't look at all of it no because I just want to make sure I just want to double check I just want to double you're gonna scroll dude we text all day no it's here because I have it oh my god hey listen take it easy for the sake of the show you can just show me what you have in your notes it's it's right here I can see in the reflection of your glasses you're scrolling like a maniac and here it is I found the whole thing all right because there's gifts in there too oh my that's why that's why because there's gifts in there yeah he's reading it oh yeah that's why the gifts make it better yeah

yo I'm yeah drunk texting Joe is one of the most inspirational drunk people all time I'll give everyone the abridged version yeah yeah yeah yeah of what I said I mean it's more colorful the way that I actually said it but basically I was saying I admitted that I had some beers yeah that's you are perfectly honest from the jump I said yo I've had some beers but I need you to write this down and then I said something about how I was gonna hire all my friends yeah eventually uh and then I said you know Danny what you I told Danny once he makes like a certain amount of money he'll never make less than that and uh all this stuff and then I was just like I'm just I'm just warming up

but there was there was a lot of shit yeah yeah yeah yeah and then I just completely ignored these texts yes the ironic part about all that right so I texted all this stuff yeah sorry for the dead silence there but he had to get read through so so the funny part about this and it's just super ironic is that I was talking about obviously you know business and like things and whatever and what I want to do and what I plan on doing and then the texts that I ignore were immediately about like the basement yard it's just like yo by the way do we have to upload this or like whatever yeah I don't care about that it's just all these things are gonna happen but I don't care about those things

you said yeah did you upload audio for patreon do you want me to do it didn't answer and then took care of it and I wrote thank you that's amazing the gifts in there are funny too that's why but um some do's of instagram um catch and gain has to be right we were just about to just write back full circle I had to because the caption has to be right yeah because like I hate long ass captions that's a don't don't go super long I understand if you want to write some things that's fine yeah don't go super long I don't want to go to see more oh I yo when you said that I thought of the name Seymour I was like who are we talking about

keep them short and sweet all right you know what I mean yeah and honestly instagram use filters why do you use something that was known for filters and you don't use filters the instagram filters are really bad what's your first ever instagram picture oh it's from an android and it's a picture of my brother uh but and his two buddies in Hawaiian shirts you're not in the picture not even in it your first instagram picture was of other people yeah and then my second one is of my brother Jared holding holding a rolling rock when did you get into this instagram like 2014 no I mean like when did when did you get into the picture oh oh your third one fourth one yeah I wasn't a big selfie person until like people started

paying attention to me oh I was very uh selfie oriented you just say selfie oriented I said a self oriented selfie oriented oh I like that yeah my first one's a selfie you remember when there was the popular page yes so I got to instagram late I did too so when I got I had already had an audience so when I made the instagram account I had a lot of followers at first and the first picture I posted made the popular page and I was like you know I'm about to fuck I'm about to fucking crush ass but yeah I got some I got some fucked up pictures on there yeah um another do of instagram um keep it to two posts a day unless you're like house of highlights yes unless you're like yeah unless you show me like someone getting jammed on post it up yeah sports ones

give me them all day give me them all day yeah that's what I like but I don't want to but I like yeah instagram why did I do that yeah Bruno Mars though one of the most talented men in the world yeah and he probably fucks mad pussy oh yeah absolutely very goodly too yeah that dude for a very small man yeah he's a small guy he looks like a little Filipino woman yeah whoa he does he does he does he does he does he's got cool hair though yeah but he's definitely five nothing yeah I would beat the shit out of Bruno Mars yeah I'd probably beat him up too but he's got great teeth he does they're fake though yeah they're big and nice veneers but he could dance and sing like a motherfucker that he can his voice is so good yeah but I'll beat the shit out of him yeah I'll beat

his little fucking Hawaiian ass yeah but um is he gonna want it I think so let's just assume let's just assume let's just let's just put labels on people yeah also the other thing too hashtags yes don't use them maybe not here's what I'll say only way you'll use hashtags is if they're they pertain to like a certain audience I will say I think that if you're starting a business use hashtags but if you're just a person why are you hashtagging Monday motivation and and hashtag blessed yeah hashtag inspired inspo inspo why don't you just inspo why don't you what the fuck is that like thin inspiration like people want to be thin oh fuck those people yeah oh I have a metabolism

but uh you know it's like I never drank a lot oh my god I ate so bad yesterday fucking assholes anyway did a fucking polar express I was literally just not saying the fucking Tom Hanks just pull up in the polar express well you know what that sound means you have your ticket no it literally just sound like a train just I don't know what that was yeah that was scary that was a little scary I don't like this remember that hey Arnold episode with the train where they get stuck on the train yeah but it's like it's like it's like a Halloween train what it's like a uh it's like a Halloween special episode I don't know but I remember the homeless guy being like get out of my house

yeah so fun it's that episode yeah um yeah hashtag game don't use hashtags when you could just write the words like you say I'm really inspired just write I'm really inspired I also don't get people use hashtags like in the middle of their sentence like I am really and then hashtag inspired to be bubba but it's like yeah just yeah write your shit I would say a do is is limit your hashtags limit those things if it's not a business all right I don't want to see you hashtag what else does your do um throw your titties in there in the picture yeah yeah at least one at least one just so I can get a gauge you know also Instagram a do a do for you can you make these profile pictures zoomable can we

click on them can we zoom I'm trying to just just click I just want to see I gotta do this and shit you got a screenshot crop it so it blows up a little bit whoa never even thought of that blew your mind there yo blow your mind big time yeah big time blown yeah big time blown big time blown yeah that's a funny term yeah yo yesterday I got blown big time blown she blew me it's such a weird thing to say no one blows on your dick why are we calling blowing can you imagine hey if someone did blow on my dick yo first of all you get air in my my pee hole that'll hurt might be irreversible damn it

oh she was blowing me all that she's doing the opposite of blowing you know it's sucking sucking is literally the antithesis of blowing yes why are we saying blowing it doesn't make sense doesn't make any sense and here's another thing I feel bad because there's probably been a girl out there who thought a blow job was to blow on someone's penis and she put her she put her mouth on that penis then she blew a big gust of wind into his pee hole and then this kid's dick exploded yeah she turned turned as you read the side you know how to balloon you gotta hold it like this you gotta you gotta bite you gotta bite the edges so that that feel good baby no no no I think you're doing it wrong you're inflating my penis

oh my god oh somebody's done that I guarantee you somebody's done that man yeah because they they were just trying to be cool just trying to blow that dick trying to give a blow job dude I'm just confused if I came here you know I'm saying like think about like in different languages it's like wait you want them to suck your dick but they have to blow you like make up your mind dog does that blow job definitely does not translate to other countries no it doesn't oh my god that is funny oh I also hate though that you have to bite on something to blow in it or pinch it like inflatable like like inflatable pool toys yeah but so the air doesn't get out yeah that's a lot of work dude you ever try to blow one of those things I don't feel like

I'm gonna die yeah I've I've blown up tubes before and and like you know when you start to see stars hell yeah yeah you think that's what sucking penis is like hell yeah you suck penis until you start you start hell fucking yes you start to see stars that's a hard thing to say yeah start to see stars yeah I almost messed it up now you can't crush no but I'll tell you this sucking a penis that's rough dude yeah that sucks yeah for lack of a better word like the penises can't taste great I'm sure it just tastes like a tit but you know how tits just taste like skin and like yeah yeah yeah yeah but a dick can get smelly though tits tits tits can tits can gather some sweat too true but I'm just saying you know what I mean

no but you know how like tits just like they have a taste they don't taste like cherries yeah yeah it tastes like a skin tit like a tit yeah and dicks probably taste like that yeah a little funkier though probably a little saltier yeah you know but that's probably what's like do you use baby wipes on your penis for what like like precoitus you're asking me if I baby wipe my dick before sex yeah like like let me ask you this let me ask you this you haven't showered that day I'll shower you'll shower before sex right yeah okay yeah yeah so you're not going in there like dirt dick from like no I'm not trying to give someone like a yeast infection or something yeah yeah you can't go I don't even know if that's how yeast infections happen but yeah no or like a UTI if I'm sweating all

day and like you know I'm saying sweat dirty here there is nothing worse than when you pee and it hurts yeah it is the worst I had a massive you don't want a massive one but I had a crazy UTI in high school was one of those ones where you feel like you have to pee yeah you can't see just go yeah I had it felt like I had to pee 24-7 and I couldn't because like nothing would come out because I didn't have to pee and my dick was just like I know stinging yeah I had football though like my foot I never washed my practice pads I just put on my locker I didn't either so I like that's how I got my my UTI because I was not fucking let me tell you okay no but I remember my UTI was so bad that I I just peed on the floor I put a towel down there and would stand up just go

why'd you pee on the floor because I was getting tired of walking back and forth to the bathroom because that feeling of that you have to pee but you can't pee you know and just those little droplets would come out you pissed on your floor I pissed on a towel that was on my floor you didn't listen to me and then on the last episode two episodes ago you said I said common when I clearly said push your T I'm gonna say common no I'm gonna show you but you pissed on your floor yeah I tried to get away from that no you did yeah so I did I'm fucking proud of it dicks don't taste like tits bro no dicks and tits are probably the similar taste I don't know what you find out I'm good ask a girl oh dude I didn't know if you were suggesting my penis

just now I thought you were trying to make me suck your penis I would never make you suck my penis not I wouldn't even agree with it no not in this time not like no I can't do that these days can't make people do stuff so are you saying like in the 90s it would have been a different story yeah like we could have hit it off maybe 70s more likely yeah 90s 50s now we're 50s I don't even think we would have been allowed to be friends yeah probably I don't think so let alone suck each other's dicks oh my god yeah imagine like being gay in like times like the why I honor like being gay like during that time when everybody talked like that I wonder what gay people talked like back then what kind of question is that you're talking about when people would add

everything every sentence with like say say I want to suck your penis see I'm gay marry that's what that's what I said I'm gay all right I have sex with a male man see can't you see can't you see that I like penis now people talk like that yeah like a wonderful life on Christmas always watch it what do you want Mary you want me to throw a lasso on the moon and pull it out and put it in my pocket and suck its dick and suck the the moon's penis because I'm a gay man Mary every time a bell rings an angel gets his dick sucked Mary oh man being gay in black and white is awesome oh my god they were why do I feel like everything was black and white back then like people live there was no color there was no color everyone

lived in black and white I feel like everyone only rocked brown pants oh hell yeah hard body that's what I think and like people didn't start smiling in pictures until like like the 80s yeah I think they waited they waited that out yeah everyone was a miserable fuck back then yeah yeah do you like smiling in pictures yeah I don't really like it oh I know it makes me feel weird why I don't know because it's like hey what's up I'm ready to take a picture let's be super happy for three seconds and then just go back to being normal faced well you don't go super happy you go medium look this is medium happy that's medium happy see I think this is medium happy that's what I did yeah that's good that's yeah yeah when people are like I hate that you're not that happy dude

you know David Dobrik yeah that kid's pictures love love love the kid to death yeah man your pictures drive me fucking nuts yeah that kid's pictures are he's always got his mouth open he's always like yeah throw something with his tongue like again like I'm like dude take it easy yeah are you ever just like in a normal mood why are you always like he's blown away at all times yeah I can't I can't and honestly if it is genuine I don't fuck with him even more because I don't enjoy that kind of happiness yeah now I'm jealous now you're too happy I'm jealous of your happiness that's what I'm saying and I hate it you need to calm you need to turn down the happiness yes just close your fucking mouth for a second can't you just be sad like a normal person

for one second that's all I'm asking Dave one snap once one sad snap that's what I'm saying you know enough with your fucking smiling yeah sure you're so fucking right anyway this is one of those episodes where I don't remember anything we talked about me neither it's gonna be hard to come up with a title for this one anyway but um do you have any do's and don'ts of Instagram before we go anything that you really hate don't feel like you have to squeeze lemons in your eyes and get kicked in the nuts and chug a beer in the same video in order to get followers that's my that's my that's great advice

yeah that's don't do that yeah don't do that don't do that and also I don't want to see you work out with your fucking partner either fucking push-up kisses make me sick oh my god don't you pull-ups I'm trying to compete I'm doing more fucking push-ups than you yeah I'm kissing you I hear working you're right yeah yeah sorry I got fired up it's okay it's all right anyway I think we can wrap this up Danny where can they find you you can find me at daniel purely on twitter and instagram please uh guys you can follow me on twitter and instagram at joe sanagato also I just started a newsletter so if you want to uh not miss any of the content that I put out or any of the content that comes out of san agar studios you can sign up by going to joe sanagato.com and there'll be

like a button right there that says newsletter and then just like you'll sign up through there yeah no it's going do we have a link for that in the description of what of the channel of the episode oh we could we don't but we could put it there I'm gonna throw it in there for y'all I'm gonna throw it in there for y'all y'all also our patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard been getting a lot of love on there too appreciate all of that we're trying to reach 1500 patrons so that Danny can get a raise which you probably I don't know if that's actually gonna happen but we'll see if it gets there but yeah so shout out to everyone who's been doing that patreon.com slash the basement yard and that is all see you guys next time peace