The Basement Yard - #181 - Lets Go To Camp

Episode Date: March 18, 2019

Danny & Joe talk about the pros & cons of going to sleep-away camp. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Check check check to check it check it out Check check check one two Falcon seven. Oh, wow. You're loud. You fuck fuck pussy Falcon Falcon dick dicks holes Dig a hole put your dick in it Falcon Falcon penis from that from Antarctica. I Think we're good. All right Welcome back to the basement yard. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Wait, huh? Wait Yeah, drink your water You know, it's always amazing to me how people are like, you know, I'll have a double gray goose on the rocks and that's it
Starting point is 00:00:40 That's fucking gross unless you're Polish or like super Russian Like 70 years old. Yeah, or 70 years old Polish or Russian man. Yeah, then like I just don't understand it I never understood like Whiskey, I understand why you drink it straight, right? I understand neat neat Vodka never understood No, like it's either like you're super homeless You know what I mean? You have you got a bottle of Georgie Yeah, one of those why do they put that thing on top of vodka bottles so it doesn't come out faster
Starting point is 00:01:17 Why because it like would overflow a shot glass. Ah Yeah All right. Mm-hmm Pop that off and you got a good time. What are you doing? No, I was seeing if you had any on those ones. Oh, no, I don't have Georgie. Was that a $4 handle? I was looking for those ones like with the nipple on them. Oh, what am I a bartender am I gonna have that shit? I don't know be kind of cool to have you know one time I actually went on a company retreat and there was like a Fucking by the way, we're talking about drinking because it's like St. Patrick's Day was yesterday. Happy. Happy her to do a dirge
Starting point is 00:01:49 Happy St. Patrick's Day. Hmm. All right Right. Oh, that's I don't know what I'm doing sound like Paul McCartney right there me. Yeah Right on this is the beat. Why don't you live a pool? But Yeah, and then I stole a bottle from the bar that was there. Yeah And it had wait wait you were at a bar and stole a bottle So it there's a little more to this story, but like we were at this company retreat Sounds like you stole some from a bar. Oh something was stolen. Okay for sure
Starting point is 00:02:25 We're at a company retreat and there was like this little like Pool hall thing where they turned it into like a dance Floor and then there was a bar. Okay, and I would obviously I you know was Inabriated. Yeah a little bit dancing Joe was coming out. Oh dancing Joe was fully out and I reached over the bar And I grabbed a bottle of something. I don't remember what it was But it had like the metal like lip thing on the top of it that you pour like shots with and then I was on the stage Which I don't know if I was supposed to be there and I was pouring shots in a bunch of people's mouths
Starting point is 00:03:02 That's pretty hot though and my own mouth. That's hot, too. Yeah, and it got on myself To who that's pretty hot. Yeah, it was a lot. It was a very sexy thing Until one of the people who worked there came up to me or like, yeah, where'd you get that and I wasn't really on my game So I just went I brought it. Oh, and then he held like my wrist up To my face like this the bottom of hand and he goes where'd you get that? Talking about the little lip thing that you put on it and I go. I don't know I was like, yo, it was over here. I just grabbed it and found it. No, I mean, yeah I still I held on to it to be honest. Yeah, I wasn't gonna let that thing go
Starting point is 00:03:41 And then I just like walked up the hill and I was like just drinking it with like a bunch of people that I work with The bar had a hill it was like this sleepaway camp thing Yeah, it was awesome. Actually, you know adult sleepaway camp. Yeah, it was kind of all in out No, yo, we should do it. No lie. We should do it. So I'm not kidding We should do it this summer with like a couple of our friends not like a crazy group I like six seven of us It's a lot of fun because it's literally like a sweet sleepaway camp, but do you play like kickball and shit? Yes, and with a keg and you get hammered and
Starting point is 00:04:10 There's like hikes, but you hike to a mini keg and then you finish it and then you go to the next one There's another mini keg with a different beer in it And then there's like that pool hall thing at night where they do like I don't fucking know what they do at camp So they do like announcements or some shit like an assembly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know So they have that but they kind of like team building. Yeah, and all the counselors are just Fucking each other. You know what I mean? I feel like that's like a huge camp staple like you have to fuck someone that you work with Yeah, I didn't fuck anybody though. Did you ever work at a camp? I've never seen a camp until that day You you never went to a camp ever as a kid. Really? I didn't have any Jewish people around here
Starting point is 00:04:51 Jewish people for the most part good. They love camp. Love camp. They're big camp people But I had no contact with any Jewish people ever in my entire life How do you live in Queens and you'd not? Encounter any anyone the practice Judaism the only Jewish people I ever knew well I didn't know this kid with or the people who I knew who were Jewish now that I'm thinking about it like They didn't have like bar mitzvahs and shit They weren't like that they weren't religious at all So I didn't even know until later on in life that they were Jewish, but people who for the most part, you know
Starting point is 00:05:26 Are religious? Yeah, and practice. Yeah That religion They go to wake Judaism Judaism like they like out on Long Island. They all go to camp Like, you know, I'm saying shester that that area Exactly, but I don't know anyone that's ever been to camp shit as expensive as hell like you never worked at a camp No, you're working at Frankie with the camp actually Frankie went to camp not Jewish But there was a lot of Jewish people there. What kind of camp was it? It was just like a sleepway. Oh, it's a sleepway not a day camp To be honest with you. I'm not even completely sure I worked at a day camp
Starting point is 00:06:04 Which was like for like super rich kids And I taught them how to swim Job was fire. Yeah, you know, I just I did nothing like I just taught kids how to swim How how much older were you than them? I taught kindergarten kids how to swim. So I basically they're sending kindergarten. Oh, it's a day camp. It's a day camp Oh, I was gonna say you send your kindergarten kid. There was four years old a fucking camp. Yeah nuts No, so I had I had kindergarten kids. Is it kindergarten or kindergarten? Kindergarten it's kindergarten
Starting point is 00:06:36 Gart a lot of people say kindergarten. I say kindergarten like it's a kindergarten garden. Yeah, it's a garden I say that too. I don't say kindergarten. No, what am I a fucking principal? Kindergarten students. Yeah, please report. No, but I actually Taught many kids how to swim nice. Yeah, so that that job was like that was fulfilling because like the kids all love me I'm just like I'm a big kid myself. So yeah, but it would be weird like Knowing like how like there's like counselors. They all fuck each other. Did you fuck counselors? Well, I was dating one time You know her. Oh, yeah, so I was yeah, you're fucking her. Yeah, so
Starting point is 00:07:20 But um everyone fucks each other at camp that's fire which is crazy It's like, you know, you go to work and then you're just like, I'm just gonna fuck Well, do you think about it if it was a day camp? I couldn't imagine a sleepaway camp They're probably fucking sucking each other's nipples and shit. Yeah, we can ask. Yeah, definitely looking asshole right in that bunk Yeah, getting in that bunker in that bunker. What's up? What again your bunker in your bunker? Yeah, like a like a double entendre. Is that what a double entendre means? I'll be honest with you I used to think that was like a spell. I didn't know what it was Or like a special move from a video game
Starting point is 00:07:52 Yeah, just like a like a or like one of those figure skating moves where they do the what's those? Beautiful double entendre He nailed it mark. He's gonna do it Figure skating I used to be a big hater on figure skating not a hater now. I'm like this shit is amazing. Yeah, I Can't skate at all and I couldn't imagine being able to jump up in the air and do like One spin these guys are doing triple ones or land and they got fucking fire outfits on those dudes are Fucking athletes like the male figure skaters And the females doing they get those fucking cool teddy bears and flowers at the end of the shit there of their run
Starting point is 00:08:29 Yeah, is that what it is? Yeah, they're heat. Why do they call things heat? I don't know. I used to see that during the X games like oh, I had a bad heat gonna have to make it up for it in this next Heat I'm like what I never understood like what is why do they call it a heat? What about rounds? Yeah third round? That's gotta be like a sport like all right. Let me ask you this We just grazed through a ton of things just now. It's all right. It's okay. It's our same Patty's day Before we get in the same patty's day I actually want to read about the history of same patty's day because I don't know it but um X games snowboarding is it a sport?
Starting point is 00:09:08 100% okay Skiing is it a sport? Yeah, I consider all these things sports. Okay. You're not gonna get me. All right luge. Yeah, is it a sport? Yep Even though it's like a like do you consider NASCAR a sport? I consider things that are sports everything sport I just consider it just because it's like shown on a sports channel and it's like a race I'm not one of those purists. That's like well. No, you have to be sweating or something is golf a sport a Thousand percent. I hate when people say it's a game
Starting point is 00:09:39 They're fucking idiots. It's a sport. So you know, especially you see the guys now They're all like fucking jacked and shit, you know what sports are games. Yeah, you fucking idiot I'm going to a basketball game. You never say I'm going to a basketball sport going to a sporting match. Yeah of basketball The fuck what do you think's the best sport to watch live? Probably hockey yeah hockey's fun hockey football though basketball if you're like really close Yeah, it's better than hockey in my opinion. Yeah, if you're really close Well, because then you actually get to see like how athletic they are right hockey is the most exciting for The let's call it the average seat not the nosebleeds not very close
Starting point is 00:10:21 Just like maybe bottom level like up up though. Yeah, yes That's probably it's probably the best sport to watch from the average seat But very close I would say basketball is because you're fucking right there. Yeah, the worst one is easily MMA though Like you have any kind of socks you basically go there to watch like The Titan trunk a lot of it cuz you could sit there and like I've been close Were you with me that time? Yeah when we went in the garden? We were pretty close We were pretty close. So it was like we can hear everything and it's like it's a cool experience Yeah, you could rather you could go anyway, and I think like you could hear them actually hitting each other
Starting point is 00:10:55 I would much rather go anyway, but I just feel like Once it goes to the ground like When you bet when you bet it's fun too, that's it's more fun when you bet on sports and actually go to the events Mm-hmm, or it's awful one of the other one of those. Yeah, but um, yeah, hold on real quick I forgot before we move on to anything. Yeah. Yeah once you circle back to camp real quick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah camps a great subject I love talking about so this place just again. I can't believe I never told you about this. No All right, so this camp they have like events all day, right? We should this is why I'm trying to sell you on going to this thing
Starting point is 00:11:33 They it's pretty expensive, but it's all like open bar and free food also. It's like buffet style Oh Yeah, it's sick They and there's basketball courts. There's kickball football like everything dude, you can imagine they have a fucking a blob. Oh From like heavyweights. Yeah fire if you haven't seen heavyweights, too Get the fuck out of here stop watching this and go watch block everything You want to see like one that's like one of Ben Stiller's best roles. Yeah, he's fantastic in it. Love it. Love it One question though. Yes. What's the sleeping set you like so you have bunks?
Starting point is 00:12:10 Oh, and it's it's look it's the bunks so it's like little cabins and There's maybe two or three beds in each. Okay, so it's not like crazy It's not like 45 like men's no, no, there's not enough I could I couldn't do that I wait in the shower people farting and pooping No, I actually don't remember the bathing situation to be honest with you. That's that's a big one for me I need to bathe. No, yeah, I Because I'm a big dude, you know, I'm saying you're who a fig dude fig like I'm thinking big
Starting point is 00:12:43 I'm a fig dude. Okay, so like someone as thick as I am. I like to shower. I run hot Right, you know, I'm saying you got little sweat particles. Yeah little puddles. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I get them popping You know when you feel that little stream roll down your breast and cut it down your body Yeah, and ends up close to your penis area And you want to see how far that actual stream of sweat can go before you went like this and yeah before you stop it You know, it's like when you pee on a street and you want to see how far your stream goes. Yes, I Like that. That's what that's what it's like for me. So, you know, I think he smiles up in this bitch, right? Yeah, no, I there showers. That's but they're not like outdoor showers. All right good. Yeah, I don't like that
Starting point is 00:13:26 No, no, no, like hose me down and let's get back to being in camp. No, no, no, like there's their showers And I believe there's like bathrooms like within the the cabins. It's not like oh We have to walk to these community showers and shower next to the pigs There were pigs there. There weren't any pigs. I don't know why I said that but Fucking there's yeah, there's like three beds But I think you can get cabins where there's only like one bed like VIP cabins or something firefest They also have
Starting point is 00:13:57 They also have a bottle of wine like chilled in every cabin that is dope, which is sick Is it unisex sleeping arrangements? Uh, or is it dudes on dudes? I I believe it's Dude sandwiches. All right, but that'd be cool. I think it over to the girls punks. Yeah, and you're like a grown-ass man Yeah, oh my god I'm gonna go try and get some pussy, but don't tell anyone not that I don't give a fuck Did you kiss McKayla last night? I don't know. I don't know. Where were you? I saw you over by the trapeze I was hanging There was trapeze there by the way
Starting point is 00:14:35 Wait, yeah, you'd hung like this Motherfuckers caught my arms Swung the boy. Yeah, wait for crime though. I Mean you're a thick guy, so Might have to have a strong guy up there. I'll launch people from the blob Oh, yeah, you will send people into the fucking fucking forest Yo, and I was trying to get one of these fuck. There's one of this count. This one counts They're like hard hard-body karate
Starting point is 00:15:03 Give me some attributes What do you want me to just like yeah, describe her a little bit like what does she uh? What she looks you test that yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't put a number on it No, no, I thought you want me to look at their credentials. She was like five eight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was she? No, she was hot she was from and and these are all people to like from like Britain and like you know I'm saying that Do you know the people that like never see him again? Yeah, but like, you know They come here for like summer internships at like Disney Yeah, it was like the same deal all these people from who are the counselors weren't from here. Yeah, so
Starting point is 00:15:39 Play ball how to go Ah Not good Yo, how did I make that noise? I didn't go great, but here's what I'll say. What was her name? Man, I wish I knew something with an M if that helps Mandy Definitely not that I just took one shot. Um, but she was like um, so the first time I saw her because they also have like the like a lake But it's like roped off. Yeah, you know I'm saying just in case of sharks and Plankton or whatever wait sharks don't live in lakes. That's true
Starting point is 00:16:16 Like then maybe I don't even think plankton lives there dude. What a fish. All right bass catfish whatever is dangerous Also, they probably just didn't want drunk people drowning that is probably the main reason they broke She was one of the lifeguards and they had one of those big ass like inflatable slides that you climb up one end You slide down the other so I was up there sliding because you know, I fuck with the inflatables Damn dude, you went straight squints. Yeah people I fuck with the inflatables and it's well documented that I fuck with the inflatables And she was a lifeguard. Yeah, she was Wendy Pfeffer corn in it. Yeah, she wasn't blonde nor was she as smoky as Wendy Pfeffer corn But you know, she was she was good. She was doing it for you at that particular time in your life I was at the top of this inflatable looking down on her like I gotta have that
Starting point is 00:17:00 I must have this British nightmare now that she was now not that she was older than you but Since she was a count she wasn't older than me since she was a counselor though Did you kind of feel that she was like older than you like in a weird way? Well, she had some sort of like authoritative like Power over me. Yeah, it's like if she blew that whistle. I'm all hers. You know what I'm saying So there was a little power dynamic there like oh, I think I'm I think I may be like a few months older than you
Starting point is 00:17:27 But if you blow that whistle, I'm your slave I'll listen Oh, I'll listen. I'll listen. I'm too far out. I'll come back in. Yeah No running. You got it. That's a scary thing That's a scary thing about like the ocean though, too It's like you'll literally be swimming in the ocean and literally you'll come up and you'll be like 50 yards this way Yeah Then I'm like, holy fuck. Yeah, I'm getting out of this. Yeah, fuck that
Starting point is 00:17:54 But when you were at the camp, yeah, wait, wait, wait Oh, I'm not done my love story. Okay, bastard. I didn't know was that I didn't know I didn't know was that deep Oh, it's oh, it goes far. All right. It actually doesn't end too well. I can make this into a movie anyway So I'm I'm on top of this thing. I climb up the thing. I'm a little tired You know, so the boy's taking a little a little break. Yeah sitting on top We make eye contact and I and I wave at her You know, because I'm in the woods You know what I'm saying? Like
Starting point is 00:18:21 What does that have to do with waving you're waving in the woods? It's even creepier. No, no, no I'm in the woods. So it's like, you know, I'm in like, all right. I need a companion Right type of thing. Okay. I thought you were just waving like a creep from the woods No, I just I can't be in these woods alone is what I'm trying to say. Yes. You know what I mean? No one should be in the woods alone. That's what I'm saying So I'm up there. I wave at her. We said some I don't really remember She said her name probably because I asked for it. I don't know what it is. But anyway, I just slide down that shit. All right I'm in the water splashing around a little bit
Starting point is 00:18:52 I play it cool. I just I just leave After that, okay Later on in the night This was after I had stolen the bottle from the thing from the whoever okay, uh We're in that thing with the dance floor and I'm dancing dancing shows out You know what I mean? And uh, she comes she just appears
Starting point is 00:19:16 And there's disco lights and they're hitting her face just right this magic moment This magic moment You had it at a camp. Yes as a grown man. That is fire. You're not a grown man. But you know man Yeah, uh one. Yeah, but so she starts dancing with me, right and I'm dancing with her and Then she turns around And puts that thing on me watch put that bridge booty on you did So now I got the thing on me and we're dancing
Starting point is 00:19:47 and then out of nowhere This other camp counselor Dude, fuck who by the way was like riding. This is I swear to god. This is true I swear to god. I'm not trying to be funny when I say this But it's the most camp fucking thing in the world. This kid was Doing bike tricks all day At the camp like we'd be at lunch and all of a sudden he had like a little show
Starting point is 00:20:13 Where you'd do like bike tricks with like a BMX trick thing So the bike, you know, Dave Mira. Yeah, you know, R.I.P He comes he comes in and he starts making out with her. Wow. I got the thing on me And so I just you know, wow I slipped out like a magician because I was like, I don't want to be a part of this, you know, weird camp dynamic Triangle dynamics the dark underworld of camp, right? Yeah, it's gonna be a long Summer I don't want to get in but I don't want to get in between True love damn dude. He hopped off that BMX bike and got down to business. It's true
Starting point is 00:20:48 It's very true. There was no bike to be seen that was the first time I saw him walk to be honest with you Kind of glided in if I'm being completely honest. What's up? I'm skyler. I do the bike stuff around here, right? He had a helmet on it wasn't buckled though, which I thought was awesome I'll be honest with you. This guy deserved that girl more than you. Well. Yeah, that's why I got out of there You do BMX tricks I honestly just you should get whatever kind of puts you on especially at camp hell Yeah, I honestly just didn't want her to turn around and then start comparing me to him because I was like I'm not gonna win this battle. Yeah, so I just slipped out of there that shit
Starting point is 00:21:19 Then I'm walking up. I go to my room when I grab a bottle of wine red wine Which you know, it's more seductive than white Yeah, but it also is not something you drink at the end of the night when you've had a ton of other Clear liquor. Yeah, it's time to go sleepy sleepy Right, so I just grabbed it and I started walking down this hill and mind you I went with like my entire company and like no one's It's pretty late and I just walked into some random fucking thing where there are a bunch of counselors and I just walk into the room and I got a bottle of wine and I saw one of the counselors walk in there because they all had like the same color shirt
Starting point is 00:21:56 okay, and I just walk in there and like It's just only counselors in there and I'm just like, oh shit And I was like, what's up and then like everyone in there was just kind of like who the fuck is this kid? And she wasn't in there. So I was like, all right later and I just like Drank this bottle of wine on the way up back to the hill and went to sleep. Damn. You got your heart broken. I got my heart broken, man Actually, you didn't get broken because it never it. No, I never got Pieced together. No, Schuyler got up on got up got up in between y'all Started smooching it down and it was a wrap. I'm not gonna say I lost my girl to
Starting point is 00:22:30 Some some BMX bunny hops. Yeah, but I lost my girl some BMX money hops rightfully. So, you know, I'm saying rightfully. So it was it was you know It sucks But I went hard the rest of the weekend like all the events I'm like, you know, if this is like in a tower somewhere watching she's gonna see me win this fucking ultimate frisbee challenge I'm winning this fucking three-legged race. I'm saying. Yeah, I didn't take part in the color war though You know color war is the best. I know I just wasn't around all the games I wasn't around they were I was doing this drinking thing that they had Funny color war story. So the camp that I worked at we had black
Starting point is 00:23:04 White red blue yellow green. Yeah, we had six teams. All right, so it's what team are you? I was this year. I was on the green team fire. Yeah, we won. Yeah um This particular year so at the end Everyone does like a like a cheer What like you do like a team cheer like it's one of the events That you get judged on like which what kind of cheer we talking we're talking like some like like you hear a coy
Starting point is 00:23:34 Shit, or we're talking about like like a cheerleader shit like we are aggressive Or like no, no, no, no, no, no, we are dynamite Don't mess with tick tick tick boom dynamite dynamite doesn't even tick It goes it takes it goes Why do you do that so well you've been around dynamite wouldn't you like to know at least common snake We're talking about dynamite. We're not talking about snakes. No Some dynamite tick some dynamite tick Yo, some dynamite tick. Yeah, so they do some of them some of the some of the yeah, but it has to be attached to something
Starting point is 00:24:14 That ticks that's you don't like you don't like dynamite and he goes tick tick tick tick tick No, no, no, but you ever see like a whole thing a dynamite and there's just a clock on it That's just going that is the clock that is ticking Yeah, but it's connected to the dynamite therefore that is that is one dynamite Almost don't mess with dynamite either if it takes or goes don't do that. Yeah, it's dangerous. I'm amazing at that No, so we did like hours. I can't remember hours um Can you like give me an example of what a cheer would be? I'm gonna tell you. Okay, so the white team goes up there
Starting point is 00:24:47 Does this get racist? Just wait. Oh my god. So it's always the whites. Yes. What the hell man? So the white team goes up there And here's their chance. Oh, no, that's the way. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. We like it. We're white. We're white Yes That was the cheer So me and like all the counselors on other teams just start looking around like yo like Is anybody else feeling this way and me and this other counselor?
Starting point is 00:25:21 Who are boys? I'm still boys on up to this day. We were like They didn't just say that So they literally sang that for about a minute and a half. That's the way uh-huh. Uh-huh. We like it. We're white. We're white Yeah Those people are from deep out in Long Island probably. Yeah, I would say montauk. Yeah I was like you guys should have got a clearance on this one before you guys should have proof read this one run it by somebody Yeah What's that game when uh
Starting point is 00:25:50 There's like five people on this side and five people on this side and it's like number three and you run out and get a Basketball like dude and like shoot it steal the motherfucking bacon steal the bacon. I was nasty at still Steal the bacon was Five y'all. I was so popular when I was younger because just because I was fat. You remember it like being fast It was like the only criteria for coolness when you're in high school It's like oh you either got to be like the captain of the football team or just like have big jugs or be like smoking hot Or something right and then you're popular When you're younger all it is is like, yo, are you fast? Yeah, you know that's the fastest kid in school coming out
Starting point is 00:26:24 So me and this kid Dennis were really fast. He was just like light years like ahead of me Like still to the state probably shout out to Dennis shout out to Dennis, but That's why me and him were friends Dennis to tennis Dennis tennis tennis Dennis Dennis Dennis But there was one like yo, he was so good at that game. We used to do like line soccer and it was like You When your number gets called you have to go out there and then dribble the soccer ball and try to score Oh, so whoever got to the ball would be on offense Yeah, and then defense, but if you stole it where you got a point
Starting point is 00:26:57 Or did you have to score? If you no, no, no Yes, if you scored you got a point and if you stole it from the person who had the ball then you got a point Got it I remember that And he would get the ball And kick the ball and everyone just moved out of the way because he would kick it like a thousand miles of an hour That game was so fucking fun. You know many times people have just run and just fucking buried each other
Starting point is 00:27:17 I'd fucking half court steal the bacon Did you guys always do the same number or did they do two numbers sometimes to be like three versus six? Oh, yeah, uh, like to mix mix it up. So like people wouldn't immediately run out there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes My gym teacher went hard. Yeah, like he and he I think he had a microphone and he would go three versus Six and then you fucking go out that game was so amazing fucking got your heart rate up there, too Just the adrenaline alone, but uh, we played these the games we played we played that We played water pool volleyball
Starting point is 00:27:57 Fire so fucking fun, dude We played that at Ralph's all the time. He has a net in his backyard. It's the most fun game Ever yeah, like pool basketball. Not a fan. I get tired. We Pool volleyball. I just got this zone. I just got this. I just got to play here and it comes around. I'll bump it I'll spike it. I'm a great setter. Yeah, you know what I mean? I said, just keep me around here and we're good Yeah, and then um, what were you gonna say you were gonna say something about uh volleyball No, I was gonna say when you play pool basketball because we used to play that at boss's house because he has like a Big pool in his backyard and he had like a real
Starting point is 00:28:32 Basketball rim. That's pretty just lower it and put it like right over the pool And we would make it so like, you know, there's no fouls. So just kill each other right and you just have to score And then like, you know, there's nothing better though Than hitting a dunk in someone's face. Oh, yeah, but no matter the height of the rim, too It's like I just dunked all over you blocking a spike in the pool The greatest feeling of all time There's no quicker way than to emasculate another man than to fucking block his volleyball spike Oh my god, and just get and then like
Starting point is 00:29:03 There's only a net between you fucking bitch. Yeah, I just spit everywhere. It's all right That's how it's what happens in the heat of competition. It's the true. That's the true thing And we had basketball three on three one that shit but um One that shit. Yeah, but um You missed out on the color war. You should have did it. I know I really regret it because like I was just Yo, I honestly would be super down to go How much is it like a thousand bucks? Uh, no, I might be less than that. Oh like 600 maybe. All right. That's cool
Starting point is 00:29:32 Like two nights. I think two nights. All right. Go to patreon.com slash the basement yard and send me and joe to camp. All right Yo, honestly, we should do that shit. I know. Um, but also just a quick shout out to the patreon. We are over 1200 people We are 300 away from my raise just throwing that out there help your boy and You have anything to add Uh, it's patreon.com slash the basement yard patreon spelled p a t r e o n dot com slash the basement yard Thank you to everyone also on this patreon. If you don't know we do some extra content on there q and a ship me and danny and
Starting point is 00:30:06 Every month there's a new an extra episode that we record just for patreon. So if you want that that's where you get it only you get it Boy patreon.com slash basement yard, but um, yes the other thing that I was going to say about camp though I think camp is good For day camps. I don't think sleepaway camp is good. Why because it's just like I would just feel weird like sending my My kid away to camp for like two weeks Two weeks, isn't it two months? No, but no, but like I'm trying to keep it like realistic That's like kids that like go crazy like and they spend mad money to go to away to camp That's what I thought camp was like an all summer thing. No, but like some people like go for like part of the summer and then like
Starting point is 00:30:47 they'll um like Leave camp and then come back to camp Oh, like they'll go like away with their family and then like return to camp. Right. It's like just like rich people Yeah, camp's a lot of money, man. I just don't think camp is like a cool thing Like like to send your kid away like if my kids off for the summer, I don't see him all year I mean you see him. Yeah, but it's like very brief and he's probably an asshole most of the time. I want to do kids like You want to do kids?
Starting point is 00:31:17 Dude, take it easy. That michael jackson shit just came out. Yeah, that was that was on hbo You can't be saying that stuff. Yeah, we'll fix that most But um, I'm so glad you said it and not me because that would have been like strike seven for me. Yeah. No, no That's so funny. Oh god Fucking Finally a kid line came out of my mouth. Thank you god. No, but uh, I want to like Hang out with my kids during the summer. I'd rather do stuff with them than just be like, all right. I'll see you Yeah, I mean, I think you'll feel differently. I want you to
Starting point is 00:31:46 Yeah, fuck them. Just get him out of there I always like think about like, oh my god, when I have kids we're gonna make gingerbread houses and then like I'm sure as soon as I have a kid. I'm gonna go dude You want to make a gingerbread house? Go to the store. Go get your shit and make it. Yeah, I'm not doing it with you. Go on youtube Yeah, I'll teach you. I'll teach you how to shoot a basketball. Yeah, teach you how to throw a football. Yeah But I ain't making no gingerbread houses. Oh, bitch. No, I don't know. I'm still recovering from our our basketball game I'm still recovering
Starting point is 00:32:16 Put the moves on danny tours growing. I we're not gonna talk about it. I strained it I strained it. I strained it before then though. I was dominating the game I was dominating the game No, you weren't I'll tell you this You have a not you have a good jump shot. You have a good jump shot No way you could guard me. No, I can't You know what I'm saying? I'm not a good post like like you could back me down. Like I just haven't I'm not good down there I also have moves down there. You do. Yeah, you put a move on me. I didn't know you had
Starting point is 00:32:51 Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I think a party was like, oh, all right There's something in there. No, absolutely. I have no doubt in my mind that you were a good athlete Yeah, that's why I was like, you know what? And that's our busting Pete's ass I was like, yo, no you were I was like, yo strong Pete. Let's see how strong you are. I'll put this on you, baby But like it's it was just a mass on him A lot of it was just like I wanted to feel where he would put his hands and then I would know where to go Right, like if his hands were on like this side, I would just go this way. But um
Starting point is 00:33:20 so Joe like Wasn't driving at all throughout the whole game And then he's like, all right, I'll drive So he drove and I was like, all right, he's gonna go up for a right-handed layup. He's right-handed But he put like this stop Like hesitation. Yeah, you like hiccup hit you with the hezzy and then um I stopped one foot, but the rest of my body kept going and my groin just went And then I laid it up and I hear him just go. Yep. It's it's it put my groin. I was like, are you serious?
Starting point is 00:33:51 I just walked out of the gym I'm like and then we were just staying around. We're like, yeah, where's this kid going? And for some reason I had to keep playing though Yeah, I know like we lost that one He came back in the gym and he just went oh fuck And I was like, oh god, I shouldn't be cursing in here people live here But uh, we won the second game
Starting point is 00:34:12 That's what I did get cut short We won we won We won Hit a three in that game I was also pulled from two just to try because that guy was getting pissed. Yeah, he was also mika I love you, bud Six two can we score some points here not in the post Jesus dude give him a break. They don't play Uh basketball in sweden. I just need a couple points though here. I'm out here. Yo, he was he was scoring points though. I think no
Starting point is 00:34:40 No, no, he knows who knows Like it's like Michael I had to be like Michael Jordan flu game out there for someone who doesn't play basketball at all He I don't think he I didn't he was better than I expected He was better than I actually know Because he fooled me with that that shooting video that he put up. Well, anyone could develop a jump shot Give a take it I was like to shoot it. Yeah, I was like a barely move. I said you got to give me the ball in the post I'm gonna beat these kids up
Starting point is 00:35:04 But I want to be able to kick that thing out and shoot that thing because you guys started to double me down there I was not doubling you. Pete would come and help me. I did cut you This I just opened this up just now. Yeah, just to do it. No, I honestly didn't expect to talk about it But it's been there. Yeah, I think me and you versus any two of your friends games over Uh, it depends how long you could go I just think none of your friends are guarding me Well, maybe the taller like Eric maybe Eric maybe but I I'll If you could step out I'll work him too. Yeah, I'll work him too. You have good moves down low Yeah, I play pretty big too, but not so much anymore. I'm afraid to hurt my knee. Yeah, but so now I just like kind of
Starting point is 00:35:46 We got to get out there and play. I did hit you guys with the stuff on Marbury where you dribble and you hold the ball like this You were like, what the fuck was that? I was like, yeah, that's how because I was always short So I had to protect the basketball like that because everyone fucking slapped you and that's how you get fouls called people Slap the shit out of you. But yeah, I almost died But um And I was a fun game. That was a fun game We got to play a lot more basketball this summer. We got to be a very active this summer I feel like last summer we weren't very active
Starting point is 00:36:14 I agree, right? I feel like we weren't very active. Now we live two bucks from the park, too There's no reason that we can't go there. I like noon. It's true shoot around Get the jimmy up the jimmy was there. I'm starting to come if we would have played a few more I honestly was surprised that I was hitting as many shots as I did Because I haven't shot a ball in a while and those were like not shooters rims too. Like they were pretty tight Yeah, like you have to like hit it. Yeah. Yeah, but um Should we get into the history of st. Patrick's day? Uh, yeah Here we go history of st. Patrick's day
Starting point is 00:36:45 It's so it's not I have no idea So please if I'm reading the wrong thing Just write below and then I won't care. What's gonna be an angry angry irishman in the become irish. All right suck my fucking Pink ass. Okay This is what it says March 17th celebration The march 17th celebration started in 1631 god damn All that shit. Yeah, when the church established a feast day honoring st. Patrick
Starting point is 00:37:13 He had been patron saint patron on Slash basically, uh, he had been patron saint of ireland who had died around the fifth century So that's 500 years I don't know how century century is it 21 22? No, we're always like a century ahead, bro This isn't the sixth century. I'm gonna kill you. No, no, no, no, but we are in the 20 When it when it was 2000 it was a 21st century Okay, so then yeah, that's what I'm saying. So then the 22,000 and 100 100 will be the 21 will be the 22nd century. Okay. So in the 21st century
Starting point is 00:37:53 We're living in the 21st century. Okay, right. That's why well fox when they did it. It was 20th century fox boom there you go A whopping 12 centuries before the modern version of the holiday was first observed and this is the true story Now sit down Grab yourself something to eat. Here we go. All right. So, uh, I'm trying to find out wasn't it? I thought he's like chased a bunch of snakes out with the bat What the fuck are you talking like st. Patrick like chased like snakes out of ireland or something
Starting point is 00:38:26 He what legend all right legend says st. Patrick was actually born May when suck it This guy's last name was suck it suck cat s u c c a t That's suck it. That's suck it. That's suck my damn suck my dick. Yeah, dude This guy's name was suck my fucking dick dude. That's fire, bro. Oh my god. May when suck it Suck this fucking pink, but a name is named to patricius Oh
Starting point is 00:38:57 Or patric or patric patricio neal no patricius. Oh that is a fire name son If I ever get a cat I'll name it patricius No Which derives from the latin term father figure so patrick means father figure my middle name is patrick You are like a father figure Not I wouldn't can I wouldn't say that I drink like one if that makes anything Yeah, you definitely do it wasn't until the early 18th century that many of today's traditions were kicked into high gear
Starting point is 00:39:28 So I guess around the 18th century is when people just started getting fucking waste. This is a nine percent beer Yeah, so you're starting to say is patric today earls Three o'clock dude, you're fine dude. You just got back from miami. You probably drink in every fucking 30 seconds down there That's why it's probably not the best idea. Yeah, you're yeah, that's true Oh, are you drinking for me? What's going on? Excuse me. Oh my gosh, the church found it kind of out of control It was remind it was to remind uh Celebrants with the holiday actually stood for that the church first so associated a botanical item
Starting point is 00:40:02 First of all, I'm not getting anything from this and neither am I so at no point Here's here's what I'll say modern day celebrations and themes continue to take shape during the rest of the 1700s In 1762 the first new york city parade took place They've been doing that shit for 300 years st. Patrick's day parade in new york city is an absolute shit disaster 1978 the year of the irish rebellion for all your irish people who don't know That the color green became officially associated with the day So the reason they wear green is because of irish rebellion in 1798 cool the wearing of green
Starting point is 00:40:40 Which we are right now as for the green beer that's an even later addition in fact disgusting by the way I can't get behind that. What is it food coloring in beer? I don't know But like whenever things aren't the color that they're supposed to be I'm so grossed out by it I can't drink green beer and also you remember when they made ketchup like purple and green Yeah, that shit was disgusting. It's like oh, here's a hot dog with fucking green ketchup I was like you can keep this yeah, because I'm not eating this shit I remember that it was like around the same time as 3d doritos. Do you remember those? Those are pretty good. Those are like the cold totinos
Starting point is 00:41:13 But they had nothing in them Bugles bugles you just put them on your fingers and Yeah, you'd be a cat and then eat your fingers. Yeah. Yeah, but um, yeah I guess they started to get drunk around the 16 1700 Did you ever like go super hard for uh, st. Patrick's day? Absolutely. I cut school In high school a couple times and took the metro took the metro north down metro north is an absolute urinal Well, yeah, yeah, so this is before that now you can't drink on the train. What during st. Patrick's day You can't do it anymore. Oh on st. Patrick's day. Just drink on the train. Yes every day. There's there's
Starting point is 00:41:50 Beer carts. Yeah I I did I used to come home from work and she'd be like Give me half this card And let's I'm taking this and then let's rage. Let's rage and then I would just go home and like go to work next day but like I remember St. Patrick's day we all cut school And pre-gamed at my buddy's house when his parents went to work and we're drunk at 10 o'clock in the morning
Starting point is 00:42:14 Yeah, it's 10 o'clock and I like I'm drunk enough to the point where I'm like Whoo Yeah Fuck And now because We didn't we we didn't want to get seen so we took a cab down We didn't want people to see us in the in the neighborhood. Just like all drunk walking. All right So I remember we get on the train
Starting point is 00:42:37 Girls that we were with two of them threw up Always on the way to st. Patrick's st. Patrick's day is all about girls throwing up in their own purse And they they threw up and they actually got on the next train just back home. They didn't stay of course and then uh when we got there Two of my friends got into arguments. We couldn't get into any bars A friend of mine got arrested for peeing in the street at 17 Yeah, but it was it was terrible and I told myself from that day. I'll never do st. Patrick's day again I've only done it once never gonna do it. Actually, I did it twice
Starting point is 00:43:08 But one time I did it were way smaller group and it was way more enjoyable So my parents were like really cool when I was growing up because they knew that like me and my friends like We're a bunch of like rowdy assholes like whatever. Yeah, but we're all like good kids for the most part Yeah, you're not like trying to like fight everybody. Yeah, like we don't we don't try to get into trouble and like we're not like insane But we did just drink, you know, so my mom was cool with us drinking Not at fucking 16 when it actually For 15 when it started happening. But when I was like, you know, 18 19 years old, it was like, all right, you know, whatever
Starting point is 00:43:43 We would go to my house at like Yeah, and just start shotgun and beers and get fucking And I felt bad because my mom is like a morning person like she'll wake up She has to be in work at like eight. She'll wake up at six let the dogs out have a Cup of coffee beautiful start to her day read the newspaper like she she loves doing stuff like that, you know And we're just out on the patio. She loves doing stuff like she loves doing stuff like that, you know, she has a good morning
Starting point is 00:44:16 Being a normal person, right? She wears a robe like the typical morning, you know, that sounds glorious Yeah, it's like an episode of will and grace. Yeah, you know, because there's no gay guy that lives at my house uh, but So And then and then that day my mom would get so mad at me because it would always be way more people than I Said always happens that way too, you know, and not that it was a party It was literally just this is the meeting place where we're gonna because like my house was always the house that like
Starting point is 00:44:46 It was in and out like people were in and out all the time like grand central station Yeah, because we used to have like a small pool and people would come over all the time because like I was always like Yo, just kind of like my parents were awesome. Um but I remember we would just get fucking ham and like spray paint our hair green and then go to the city Take the train into the city where those stupid beads beads. Yeah, we wear beads And we go to the city and go to the parade and just scream And just try to go as many bars as possible. You don't do anything
Starting point is 00:45:14 Yeah, you don't you go to the park We actually wouldn't really go to the parade that much and like we went to a bar one day one day when we were under age We all tried to get into this bar Fuck is this I want to say it's murphy's murphy's is the big underage spot. It's right. It's right by grand central station No, no, no, no, no, no, it's it's on there's one. Uh, it's not I don't know if oh, it's on shenanigans shenanigans you talk about shenanigans shenanigans isn't it
Starting point is 00:45:41 Next person says shenanigans. No, no, no, it was I think it was called murphy's. It was someplace on second half Second half and something but it was on second half and like we ended up getting into there I used the venos id by the way, isn't it the best though when you get in somewhere You're like, oh no, I can get a beer that feels like you like like you got a loud in the heaven It's just like And you're like, oh my god Everything in here is mine fooled you pussy Yeah, exactly asshole and I remember I was sitting I was standing on the standing on the bar
Starting point is 00:46:15 I was I was standing at the bar with this guy and he was so irish I didn't understand anything he was saying But there was a rugby match on the tv and that's literally that and cricket are like the only two sports that I had No idea what the rules are. Yeah, so whenever something whenever this guy would cheer I would start cheering and remember we ordered like, uh We I forgot how old we were it might have been 18 So we're like like very nervous because everyone in there was like older than us and We ordered, uh irish car bomb
Starting point is 00:46:42 Yeah, irish car bombs and then a guinness. I wish I hate both of those things. I love all of those things. No guinness is absolutely Disgusting you're you're nuts. It's garbage juice dude. Guinness is great. No, everything's moving in the glass You have to let it settle. I know I don't want a thing that I have to let settle What was that when we're drinking milk and you're irish too What does that mean? I would have thought you'd be be team guinness No, I crush I crush it every year usually on frankie's birthday if we if he's in Astoria We go to this bar this irish bar over here and he makes me take one of those like guinness is great
Starting point is 00:47:19 A car bomb is fantastic. That's guinness. No Yeah, you ever do a jaeger bomb? Yes Jaeger bombs I could do all day. Do you do them with red bull? You do them with beer though. Don't be pussy. No, it's red bull It's red bull and jaeger. I would do a little beer. No, I mean I don't I don't like do it all the time. No, it's not one of those things. Have you ever gone sake bombing? I have not actually sake that was a big high school thing A lot of kids in my high school like for whatever reason sake places let underage kids drink all the time But I never went sake bombing sake bombing is awesome though. What do you just rip shots of sake though?
Starting point is 00:47:55 Yeah, like you put it on like chopsticks And then you just drop it into a beer like a oh, yeah, like a Chinese or a tie And then you just crush it. Yeah, and then you just crush it. I'm not a big chugger though That's why I don't like doing like I hear you bombs. Yeah Frankie sometimes can chug. Yo, it comes out of no like I remember there was one time he like just got back from college or something and we went to this irish bar over here and As a joke, he like chugged his beer and I was like, whoa, dude like that was like incredible Because it dude it was so fast and he was like, he's like, yeah, I was like, yeah
Starting point is 00:48:30 Like how the fuck did you do that? And then he just grabbed my drink like what was left of it and it was like half a beer And he literally just threw it down his throat and I was like, whoa, and then We kept offering beers and he was just That's what college would do for you. You know, who's the best chugger. I know Keith I wouldn't surprise me kid
Starting point is 00:48:49 Can chug like a motherfucker. It's anything anything battery acid. He would figure it out. All right I gotta see him chug a beer then. I can't I yo, I'm so I'm I'm like very Decent at it. I'm not great. I'm okay chugger. I'm not good If it's a small amount like like flip cup chugging please I'm amazing at flip when you go ahead. Do you guys ever do like half cup flip cup? Yeah Yeah, we did like two gulps. We did full cup flip cup one time And my buddy's fourth of july party. No and shit got fucking weird. Yeah, man Got weird and I drove home
Starting point is 00:49:28 Good night. Yeah Not the safest thing in the world. Yes. Yes, it is not. Please do not drink and drive Yeah, no, I think we I think I'm not gonna. Didn't you say you had an idea? And if it comes out after this you stole it That people like would hang around like in new york city and you could text them To like move your car. Oh, yeah, if you drove there to like take my car home. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, but I don't know Also would be cool to like have somebody move your car also
Starting point is 00:49:57 I just want to you know, because I'll get in hot water with you here. I also had an experience where I I drank and drove and I'll never do it again. No because I was it was so Okay, um Not the safest thing in the world. Yes, please do not drink and drive. I will say just to get in hot water with you Thank you. Uh, I I have I've I've had an experience where I drank and drove Uh, and I'll never do it again. I remember because I was at a bar and I was with uh this girl And like we hadn't seen each other in a while. It's like an old friend of mine So we were just like drinking at a bar and I was having mixed drinks. I usually drink beer for the most part. Yeah
Starting point is 00:50:42 But I was having mixed drinks and sometimes there's like a delayed trigger with them And I drank a couple and I don't trigger like yeah, like you don't feel it until it's like, you know, it's like having an edible It's like I'm good and all of a sudden you're like, I'm fucking I can't see it's like quailudes from like wolf wall street exactly Climbing down your stairs. Yeah. No, but um, there was like a delayed trigger on it so I was like, oh, I'm totally fine and then I was just like it was in the neighborhood So I could have just walked home if I got drunk and that's why I drove because I was like it's right here Like whatever if something happens, I'll just leave
Starting point is 00:51:19 But I felt fine So I drove her home and then when I was driving myself home Then it really hit me and I was like, whoa, and I started to get really fucking scared Yeah, and luckily I thank god I made it home, but I will never fucking do that again. No, man. I mean That shit is scary the shit the shit is scary like I've driven drunk a few times and it's just like Please don't do it Please god, don't do it. It's one especially now Dude uber exists. Like we didn't have uber growing up
Starting point is 00:51:48 Like uber exists now and you can get any Exit what I just said execution here it exists So like you can get anywhere you need yes for $20 For the most part and the people that are on patreon that hear this a week before St. Pad tricks day because they'll get it a week before right don't fucking drink and drive Yeah, don't please take a fucking uber. Please take a train. Don't be an asshole Especially now there's way less of an excuse for that because Like there was no uber back then and I'm not trying to make excuses for myself for being a fucking idiot
Starting point is 00:52:17 But like you know now it's way easier to be like fuck my car. Yeah The last thing I care about is like would be my car at that point Not safe, but you know what is safe Simply safe I've never mean to do that to be honest Simply safe believes fear has no place In a place like home. It's true. Okay, uh, so they made their system ridiculously smart Simply safe sensors will protect every point of access to your home doors window or garage
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Starting point is 00:53:23 To fear less with simply safe and right now Uh, you know, you can get simply safe by going to simply safe.com slash basement. That is s. I am pli S a f e dot com slash basement for the home security that I trust And you know, my brother also has it. He just moved into a new place out in Long Island He now has simply safe built into his home as well. I'll tell you this there's two things That I love Being safe and no contracts and being simple and being simple Yeah, that's three. So there you go. Um, yes for our next sponsor. We have stamps.com
Starting point is 00:54:02 Postage rates have gone up again. Uh, thankfully thankfully stamps.com can ease the pain with big discounts off post office related rates With stamps.com you can save five stamps off of every class stamp up to 40 off priority mail Um, that kind of saving really adds up especially for small businesses if you're business out there and you're mail and stuff all the time This is huge. Um, and I used to use stamps.com all the time when I was doing my small business like with the Merch stuff back in the day. I was using it all the time. So To get those kind of discounts it really adds up after a long time Um, but yeah, you can buy and print official us postage for any letter any package or any class of mail by using your own computer And printer that's so and uh stamps.com makes it easy to even send you a free digital scale that automatically calculates exact postage
Starting point is 00:54:50 Um, but yeah, it also saves you money and you can do it 24 7 3 a.m You want to mail something you want to print something out boom post about boom bang post office isn't open all the time All right, so you love the people down at the post office. Sometimes you can't get there. All right. Life comes at you fast. Yeah First viewer is that was is that what he says? Yeah I think so anyway Right now our listeners can get a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a digital scale See for yourself why over 700,000 small businesses use stamps.com
Starting point is 00:55:21 Just go to stamps.com click on the microphone at the top of the home page and type in basement That is stamps.com click on the microphone at the top of the home page and type in basement Boom, uh, and lastly we have one more sponsor of the show today. We have ckeek You know, it's just my favorite ticket app. You know, I mean you need tickets You need tickets for a Broadway play you need tickets for a concert sporting event Whatever, whatever you need tickets to know the heart the know what the hard thing is though, too When you're looking for tickets is knowing if it's a good deal or not
Starting point is 00:55:54 I wish some app had like somebody had that kind of sign funny. You bring that up danie because on ckeek So funny on ckeek also when you type in like I want tickets to The giants versus the redskins whatever right boom you click on this They'll show you a map of the stadium and a seat and they'll show you if like this is a good price For this seat sometimes it's like dark red and you're like, okay. Fuck this ticket because that's a bad price and sometimes you get a Dark green
Starting point is 00:56:24 Love dark green dark green is the one you want Dark green sounds good. Then it's like, all right. This is a good ticket, which by the way wants to talk to you about yankees Opening day found some dark greens over there watziki Uh, probably we'll be at that with danie I'll be hammered danie will be full of water. Yes, um pretzels and pretzels Right now my listeners can get ten dollars off their first ckeek purchase Just download the ckeek app and enter the promo code basement today Again, the promo code is basement ten dollars off your first purchase. Oh saving money off tickets already. Oh, yeah
Starting point is 00:57:00 Um, but yeah, all jokes aside. This is the only app that I use for tickets to ckeek. So Me too. It's the greatest. So check it out. Um, and that is our sponsors for today Sponsors keeping keeping the lights on in the studio. You know what I mean them and guess who else? The patrons, baby the patrons Um, oh the one thing I wanted to ask you. Mm-hmm. You've been a social media guy for a long time Okay, you know, you've had um Your share of content be spread throughout You've gotten viral
Starting point is 00:57:32 several times How do you feel about credit being given? um Amongst the internet like I see like a lot of stuff like people tell me I should always watermark my stuff yeah, like I don't know. How do you feel about about the credit giving like within twitter and instagram and facebook and and shit like that. Um Well, man, nine percent beer and you're asking me all these crazy
Starting point is 00:58:01 How much they have sex with me right now I think $37 Um What I know nothing you got a memo. Yeah, no, uh, I think I see here's the thing right? I think that you should credit people Yeah, I think that it's it's fair and I honestly didn't see it as an issue because I remember back in the day when I was like heavily into the youtube stuff and like how I built the platform that I have now Uh, I didn't care and I was very arrogant as a kid and I was like angry
Starting point is 00:58:32 That's why I never collabed with anyone because I was very like I'm gonna do it myself Like I don't care about like anything or like, you know, whatever. I'm just gonna build this organically I don't want to work with you. I don't want to whatever talked I'm not gonna associate myself with these people because I don't want I even didn't even like speaking to that to anyone who did youtube Because I didn't want people to be like, oh, you know him. I'm gonna follow you just because you know this person You know, I was very arrogant like that as a kid. So if so, there had been times where people posted my shit On their pages that had like millions of people and they never credited me and a part of me
Starting point is 00:59:05 Was like, I don't give a fuck but looking back on it You do give a fuck because now the world has changed and social media is at a way bigger like It's at a way bigger Scale than it was back then people make your money off. Yeah, so it's it's a tons of businesses are Are predicated off their social media. Yeah, so like that especially and mine, of course it is right so that's huge for me if if a
Starting point is 00:59:35 Company with their facebook page has like 10 million likes and you post one of my videos and you never tell anyone that I made it Yeah, and they're asking, you know, who is this? Who is this? Who is this? You have to pray for someone in the comments to be like, oh, it's this guy, you know And thankfully people are good with that type of shit that like people will like hit me up Be like, you know, they took your shit, right? And it's like is it really that hard just like I don't I don't get it How hard is it to put somebody's at on something? I don't know. I honestly don't you know what it is. I think people want to be The one-stop shop like the curator of all the good content. That's impossible. Well
Starting point is 01:00:13 It's impossible. Fuck Jerry for instance on on instagram. Yeah Nomed for being a curator and the fat jewish Yeah, also a curator, right where it's basically you take other people's content And you put the best of the best on your page and that's why people follow you I I I'm honestly not even sure from what I've seen. I think fuck Jerry all like credits people um, but They didn't at first, you know, they would just post you that's just fucked up But I think yeah, it's but it's fucked up now now that we know like what the possibilities are
Starting point is 01:00:46 I'll be mad if like somebody would like 10,000 followers so I could just just put my name in it. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Yeah, and also the thing is too like technically your ip Yeah, and it and like Here's my thing I I'm Never gonna watermark my shit. No, I here's why I think it's just corny I think it's corny too. It just you looked stupid took the words right out of my mouth
Starting point is 01:01:14 Like I don't know why oh, you just did and here's why because people love that People were like drink every time Danny says and here's why you're gonna be a drunk fuck. I'll tell you that and here's why I also Another thing you say all the time on the show is let me ask you one question and we're like 50 minutes in I was like, yeah, you've been asking me questions this entire time It's so weird how like people have like things they they'll constantly say I wonder what mine are Here's the thing maybe that's you no, no, I say in here's why you say in here's here's the thing I do a couple here's here's why is a huge one. Yeah. Yeah
Starting point is 01:02:00 Now we were talking to just like people like stealing stuff on the internet I would never feel comfortable like even if I post something and I don't know where it comes from I'll be like, you know, tell me who made this Yeah If I legitimately don't know then like I'm not gonna like kill myself over over it No, but if someone hits me up like, yo, that's me then I'll definitely put it in there But like if I know who it is And like yo my my youtube videos
Starting point is 01:02:24 Like there's been companies that have posted it and like they don't post but like you have to know Who posted that because there's only one place to get it right, you know, yeah I just think of how it's kind of fucked up though how Easy like not how easy it is to steal shit, but it's like people People work hard on like the shit they put out. Yeah, like even if it's a fucking 30 second video like they put it out Like they should get their credit there I agree. I mean and especially because like, you know back in the day
Starting point is 01:02:55 Like a lot of things have shifted over the past like even Six years, right? Yeah, let's just say I think I've been doing youtube since like 2012. So was that like seven years? So seven years when I first started that's crazy. Yeah when I first started doing it There was no company set up to manage you. There was no social media jobs. Yeah Uh companies didn't believe in having social media There was a lot of companies that didn't have social media And they had to buy their handles from random people who would just buy them right so they could sell them So like wait like how like people like get websites. Yeah, like domain names. Yeah, of course
Starting point is 01:03:29 And like and that just happened with instagram too like a lot of companies had to buy their shit from instagram as well Wait, wait, wait, they had to pay instagram. No, no not instagram. So like let's say you right right in in 2012 You were like, oh, okay instagram I don't even know when instagram came out. I think it was like like 2011 I think yeah, but I think it didn't start getting popular until like 2013 ish Yeah, so I was like so in 2013 you're like, all right, cool. I'm gonna buy at pepsi at coca-cola at soda at jeff at mike at this at that and like Having just those because then people will pay for them. Yeah, I've paid four handles before really. Yeah, I paid for a veteran's minimum
Starting point is 01:04:13 How much how much does that feel I mean I paid a hundred dollars? Oh Yeah, no, no, but it was like because we had because someone had it but they were they had like 100 followers or whatever. So I was like, I would rather have this for this page So I I DM them and I was like, y'all I'll give you 100 bucks for it. That's cool. And he's like, all right So I just took it. Yeah. No. Yeah But they do you think people should be able to pay to get verified? No weren't they doing that don't people do that no
Starting point is 01:04:43 It's always like some dude spamming in the comments. I try to delete them when they post in my shit It'd be like, yo, here's 500 bucks. It's a verified badge. You get like 400 000 followers I'm like, I try to delete them as much as possible. Yeah, no, it's stupid But like the only way you can get you used to be able to get verified used to be sorry You used to be able to submit a form So that and that twitter would vet through and be like, okay If this legitimately because the whole point of a verification page wasn't like you're officially cool It was to separate like, you know, this is actually
Starting point is 01:05:15 Jennifer Lopez. This isn't like a fake catfish one, you know, so they give him a give her a badge And that was the only reason why they existed and then it became this thing of like, you know, if you're cool enough You get one. Yeah, I want to get verified so bad. Yeah, I know it's it's one of those No, but I know because that's that's what it has become But now it's just kind of like you can have a thousand followers and if your agent works at Uh, wme or fucking wherever Yeah, like you could just get it. I wish I knew somebody that was at wme. Yeah Um, I don't work at wme. I hear you. Uh, but uh, yeah, that's that's how that happens
Starting point is 01:05:54 Do you think would you ever go to like one of these panels? Which ones like ones that are like wanted you to do like a seminar like a social media seminar Would you ever go out to like a panel? Have you and have you ever done that? No, I've never done it. I've never done a panel before Uh, what's this talk about? What just talk about like your For lack of better term journey Or or your your work your work process. I don't mind doing it. I haven't done it But I also
Starting point is 01:06:25 It would really depend what it is. Like it would have to like Yeah It would have to be a look You know, I wouldn't do it just for like Tell your story. Like I really don't care about that part. Like I do that here So I don't need to go on a panel to do that. Yeah, uh, but if it was to talk about uh, how to If I if I was able to offer marketing advice for small businesses or or
Starting point is 01:06:52 any sort of guidance or You know, sort of be an advisor in a way on a panel then I would yeah I would be interested in doing that because I do think there's a lot of things that I've learned over the years from doing this and working at companies that Do this sort of thing that I have a lot to offer to small businesses as far as You know, how to grow your social media or how to market your product or whatever But I wouldn't go there just to be like, yeah, so when I was 12, I had this camera my mom bore from And tell that whole story again. Like I'm not really interested in that. Would you ever become a motivational speaker? No
Starting point is 01:07:22 Do you think you could be successful at it? Yeah I just feel like motivational speakers Or like you have to be 100 and you can't be like a part-time motivational speaker motivational speakers Like so I'm going to use that term This is no disrespect to actual motivational speakers because I do find Motivation I find motivation and a ton of things Like people who are actually successful are motivation enough for me
Starting point is 01:07:49 You don't even need to be a motivational speaker. Like I've watched every single inside the actor studio every actor I don't even want to be an actor like I really I don't but I've watched every single success story Is that work progress to success? Yeah, I want to know I want I because I want to know The journey and like the signs, you know what I mean? Because if I know Johnny Depp's story Like I'm not trying to be Johnny Depp, but if I know this dude lived here Moved here with nothing in his pocket worked these jobs for this amount of years used to be in a band like this like all bunch of shit did a thousand auditions nothing worked out
Starting point is 01:08:25 And this and that and then now he's Johnny Depp. It's like 40 million a fucking movie. That's what I'm saying So now it's so that sort of thing is inspiring to me because under the back of my mind I can't forget things like that. We're sort of like if things start going bad. It's like Things go bad, you know, and it doesn't work out and it didn't work out for Johnny Depp Look at Johnny Depp. He's chill. You know, so it's like it's just little things like that I've watched all of them. So it's like that but like these motivational speakers that exist on instagram They drive me nuts Yeah, because a lot of it is just based off of nothing and it's like you want to be a motivational speaker just for the sake of
Starting point is 01:08:58 You know, this works, right, which is but I think it's productive But I think it's kind of for like the ground level people It's like entry level people like people that are successful. Do they watch like other successful speakers? See, that's the thing. I don't think super successful people Listen to motivational speakers because I think that it's sort of um Second nature to them at this point like for me when I hear motivational speakers I really do think it's just like a formula and once you have it you have it and then everything else seemed
Starting point is 01:09:32 It's just validating for you. Like when I hear motivational speakers and they say a lot of things Like for instance, like gary v on instagram when he says like a lot of shit he does all these posts like Part of it is validating to me But then part of it he gets annoying to me because it's like I know man like I get it I know this part and it's so obvious to me because I I think I have this formula already, you know of like yo just it's very simple and it's like
Starting point is 01:09:59 I don't even like saying it because it comes off as arrogant and like you make it sound so easy to be successful You know, no, I'm just saying no because like it's really just a decision of being like I'm just gonna fucking do it like and that's it and like And it has nothing to do with the amount of time that it takes. It's like I'm just going to do it Right and then like what can someone say to you nothing exactly So I even think of like even even if you just try something like really legitimately try something that's not failing to me Well, you never stop trying. That's what I'm saying. It's like yo, there is no stopping like if you Listen, all right. Here's what it's gonna get motivational now, but like here's what I'll say
Starting point is 01:10:43 Tons of people go through their entire lives, right? And lives lives when I say lives. It's all right 9% Beer was 9% it's really getting me. No, so you A lot of people go through their entire life Let's say 85 years Not knowing ever what they want to do for a living or what they truly love doing If you figure that if you are so fortunate to figure that out Just do that
Starting point is 01:11:12 And you'll get paid for it eventually because people get paid to make Everything like people get paid to someone made that shirt and they bought the buttons the material The pattern the fucking the the ink for this shit Like and there's company set up for everyone and patent set up for everyone that made all of those things You know what I mean? Like you can get paid for everything So it's like if you figure out what you want to do you just to do that and I and when when I say that I know it sounds like it just like oh, I just fucking do it like all right cool, whatever but With that comes a bunch of little stipulations of being like
Starting point is 01:11:51 If you are in school or if you have a job like obviously you need money to survive I'm not saying right quit your job and put your main focus this but If you work a nine to five job take class at night you still have five to one a.m Yeah to work. Yes and still get Seven hours of sleep. Well, that's why like I would always feel weird like when I was going to college for like 45 minutes Like I would see like people with children like Going to college. Yeah, and I was like, yeah, like even my mom did it like my mom went back My mom too went back and got a degree. I'm like, yeah like
Starting point is 01:12:28 There's really no excuse to not try to at least try to do something right like I see these motherfuckers like People come here from other countries and they get like 11 degrees I'm like, you know, I'm over here like eating fucking hot pockets and like cheese doodles I'm like, I could have read a book today. I could have tried to do something but like I think it's that initial step. I think once you take that initial step Like like you said like I'm just gonna do this. That's the biggest part. Yeah, it's it's literally it's it's like But but that that part is the hard part, right? It's the hardest. It's terrifying
Starting point is 01:13:03 So some people it's one of those things where it's like the formula is so simple But so hard at the same time because all the formula is to me is just making a decision but the hard part is having the Mental toughness to do it. Yeah, you know, because I have the mental toughness only sometimes Right to be like this is getting done and then when it gets done everything ends up working out But I don't have that all the time But the mental toughness is the hardest part a lot of people aren't mentally Tough enough right to
Starting point is 01:13:37 Complete what the formula is because everyone knows it now and all it is is like just do like no one's more Special than anyone else, right? You know what I mean? Unless you're playing in the NBA and you're 610 and can dunk and like whatever Whatever but like some god-given stuff But dude, you can you can be a doctor you can be a lawyer You can do whatever like one of my friends is being is starting to be a lawyer And he got kicked out of his original college right because the gpa gpa was so low And then he went to another college and he graduated with like honors now
Starting point is 01:14:07 He's in law school right and he's gonna be a lawyer and he's gonna make six figures one day It's like you if people can do shit like that Any you're no special than anyone else and also another thing is that it's never too late to do anything Oh, you know, I got kids I got this you know what you have is excuses that you're making they're making up for yourself Right, you know what I mean? Like you can do whatever the hell you want and I'm not saying I'm someone here who's like Oh, I've got the world in my hands and I could do whatever I want Like I am fully aware of what it takes to get shit done And sometimes I just don't have the mental toughness to do it and I get lazy and I sit on that couch and like
Starting point is 01:14:42 Time just goes by but on days where I'm like fucking in it. There's so much shit that gets done Or like I have a really good month and it's just like Then you could just like you know what I mean it's gratifying to yeah, of course And it's it's it's also Validating to know that it just works Like if you get what you put in but that takes a lot of time and you have to be very real yourself Like I'm very real myself And that's why I've always told people like I don't consider myself a hard worker because there are people out there who work
Starting point is 01:15:11 18 hours a day at their craft and I just don't fucking do that because I like to enjoy myself You know, but if I took the time and really spent all of my time possible into my craft like Everything I'd be doing would be on a much higher scale and I you know, you'd be such a monster though God such a monster. I would hate to work for that guy My phone would be fucking ringing at two three in the morning But that's the thing like I like having a good time and I like being like laid back also But I do like getting worked on as well. So it's just like Finding a good balance and sometimes one over takes the other. Yeah. No, no, no, I I agree with all that
Starting point is 01:15:50 except for The fact that How'd you state it? I think you have that mental toughness all the time. I just think you choose when to apply it Right, but that's but it's not that you don't have that character trait like you could work 18 hours. I've seen you do it Yeah, but I don't want to sometimes I don't want to do it But sometimes but is that like not is that mental toughness or you're just being like I just don't want to do that for 18 hours Um, I think that's mental toughness because it's It's the same thing like I compared to because now I'm you know, I'm training for the marathon like
Starting point is 01:16:26 With running it's the same thing like just because I can run 10 miles doesn't mean that you I can run 10 miles every day That takes a different level of mental toughness of being able to do on a consistent basis like I have the ability Which I I have, you know, if you've listened to this podcast for years You know that I've talked about myself in a way of being like I'll do whatever the fuck I want Yeah, I can do anything that's dope though. No, but like I really believe that like I can get anything done It's all about how long it will take me and how much time I'm willing to Dedicate to it because I'm really not ready to sacrifice my
Starting point is 01:16:58 downtime For a lot like a lot like all of my downtime for something like I really like to enjoy myself I like going out. I like relaxing with my friends. I love that shit and I find that Being like more important than anything else to be quite frank. Yeah, but you know, I also building things Yeah, but if you're one of those people that like doesn't like have like human connection or interaction You're just a fucking weird. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, it turns you into a machine which I'm afraid of Yeah, like fucking like mark zuckerberg
Starting point is 01:17:27 Like listen that guy talk. I'm like weird. I'm like is this guy like ever had a friend. Yeah, I don't want to get a beer No, no That's what I want to be ultimately I want to be like a successful person that people like this guy's great. I want to get a beer at this guy That's what I'm saying like if someone was like, you know, you want to go hang out with mark zuckerberg and be like, no So like is he gonna like give me a car? Yeah Like you're just gonna stare holes through me like a robot. I was like, I don't want to do that Yeah, because I think that type of shit could turn you into a robot. Yeah, but like just to bring this back full circle like
Starting point is 01:17:58 that ultimately which is the quote unquote formula that i'm referring to is just Making a decision of like i'm going to do this and then you have to apply that with some sort of mental toughness of being like I am willing and and like This is something that I had to look back on and realize that I was doing I didn't care about anything else in my life besides knowing how to edit with iMovie Shooting these videos thinking of concepts and like whatever like I completely wanted to change the way that people Associated my name like when you heard my name you had to think of This kid that made youtube videos and not anything else that you've heard before
Starting point is 01:18:34 Yeah, you know, so it was it was about that and I didn't even realize I was doing it like I would say up until 4 a.m Trying to figure out how to do certain things with iMovie and photoshop and You know just watching videos and like studying in a way and watching all these interviews of successful people Because I just wanted it like I didn't wasn't doing it because someone told me to do it Or because I listened to some motivational speaker tell me to do it I just wanted it really fucking bad and I decided like this is what i'm going to do I'm not going to go to college and I don't want to be a fucking loser either So i'm just going to do this shit
Starting point is 01:19:07 24 7 you know Yeah, and but it didn't feel like work because it was just all I wanted to do It like I really found something that I wanted when you find that you do that Yeah, you can't let that go and I would say that people that are on that like if you're listening now and you're kind of like on that Teeter Like that spot where you're at like if you're not ready to jump. What's the worst thing that happens? Nothing dude people survive all the time people go to harvard. They come back and they work in a pizzeria I've seen it happen. I know people who are firemen that work at at harvard and i'm you know
Starting point is 01:19:37 I respect the fdny like you would not believe my father was a fireman whatever But that is not a job you're supposed to get when you go to harvard Yeah, and another thing is too is like i'll see people go to school for fucking eight years They'll come back and be real estate agents. You could do that shit when you're 18 exactly And like do something at least do something you like. Yeah, and that's a that's a very big possibility Especially in in this day and age. Yeah. Yeah Am I making sense? Yeah, you are I love motivational joe I think you go off on tangents and I don't know if I don't know
Starting point is 01:20:07 But I think motivational joe means to come out on this show sometimes because listen like The thing I wanted to say is like you're saying like you work till 4am and like a lot of people see the finished product Right like they see like the shit that makes them laugh or the shit that like people don't see like the shit that goes into it It's like Like you sacrifice friendships for this shit you sacrifice Relationships for this shit time with your family like you do sacrifice shit like that So like in the beginning when you were doing that till 4am You were so focused on what you were doing
Starting point is 01:20:39 But like now that you've worked so hard it's good that you've kind of come full circle with it And it's like I want to spend more time like with my friends and with my family and shit But like still have that drive to be successful. You know, did that make any sense? Yeah That's the thing it's like it's about finding that balance because like I can't I really do feel like I can't survive without these people like I've known my friends my whole life And I was very close to my family. So it's like You I sacrifice time with them and then I do
Starting point is 01:21:07 uh, I work a lot and then you know Eventually you get to the point where it's like, oh god like I hate myself and then you're like I want to go back to being close to them, you know, and that's kind of like what happened with last year But you know, and another thing is like a lot of people they're like, oh, it's just podcasts It's just youtube videos. Like it's not like a whole lot of work or whatever, but You know, and I'm not gonna sit here and defend myself and be like, oh, it is a lot of work And is it it but it is it like there's a lot that goes into it
Starting point is 01:21:36 There's a lot of like whatever and also it may not be like manual labor, but it's a lot of uh It's draining mentally I'll tell you this it's just it's just as draining Yeah, it's pretty draining because like even like when you're doing a show or you're making a funny video You got to bring that shit. Yeah, I will say that doesn't go up. I will say Suck my fat penis I will say my big ass did this show doesn't do that to me anymore though No, that's probably because i'm here though now Maybe yeah got him say it because
Starting point is 01:22:10 Because I don't know. I don't know what I think that especially took it right back in the last year No in the last year. I think that I've kind of uh Cared less about If it works and if it more than I think there was a point where I cared more about Making it work Then I cared about it being funny to everybody right and now I care more about it just being funny
Starting point is 01:22:36 And then I don't give a shit damn who started working here like a year ago. I don't know some guy brown dude great ass I Dark nips dark nips. I do have dark nips. Do you yeah, dude? I'm fucking have Puerto Rican bro. I got dark nips I'll rip him out. I'm on the patreon.com slash the base of your art. Oh, damn I will show people my nips Wow, yeah, if that's if you didn't have enough like fucking shit to go there already at least there's nip now There's gonna be nips and I'm willing to do it. I'll sign whatever form I have to oh Yeah, I got one in the back too. Yeah, that's fine. You think I don't have nipple forms. No, I know you got waiver nips
Starting point is 01:23:11 I have way too many nipple forms real quick Where are we going now? No, no, no, no. We got an inspirational now. I need some other stuff from you. Okay. All right Blind scenario You need a couple out so you're out at a bar, right? I'm liking this. All right. You're at a bar St. Patrick's Day You need a couple right they're banging. No, no, no, no, they're not banging. They're hanging. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they're banging hot They're banging hot everyone people say yo, that's flavors Everyone people you say that never heard that you'd be like, yo, that's flavors never heard that. Oh, that's old-school. Shit
Starting point is 01:23:46 We never did flavor. No, you never did flavors. All right, but um, that's fat though. That's that ph ph ph at Little kim. Oh, she's fat. She's fat with ph Fat farm. Remember they made a whole fucking thing. Hell. Yeah, every thought had fat farm. Yeah, or the baby BB BB. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what it is. They always had that like On the asshole be dazzled on their ass crack. Yeah. Yeah. I love that I'm like juicy Juicy was all over butt cheeks juicy was all over butt cheeks and I was about it about it
Starting point is 01:24:20 Because they were all pink and then they had like the black trim down the side Showing those booties grabbing a butt. Okay. Yeah. Yes. All right. So say you're out St. Patrick's Day But you're by yourself you lose all your friends. There's a couple there, right? Yes, and they're like Hey, y'all, we're just digging your vibe. Like, hey, you want to come back to our house? Yeah And then they want to fuck hell. Yeah, they want you to be a part of it. Right. Are you in on it? Do I got to do like gay shit only got to do the girl? Yeah, I do it. You do it. Yeah, probably And they wanted to film it
Starting point is 01:24:52 No, I'm not down You wouldn't you wouldn't let someone film you have sex with their wife. Yeah, I think I would yo I should be kind of hot No, I don't know what these motherfuckers are doing. That's a mysterious fuck. Yeah, but I don't know what these motherfuckers are doing Is there something that's um Arousing about a mysterious fuck Like something what is a mysterious fuck meeting a couple and them inviting you back to their house one night stand? Yeah, he's like, I want you to fuck my wife with me. Yeah
Starting point is 01:25:19 so So hold on I have a story for you think about how much of a freak you have to be to meet a stranger And be like I want you to fuck my wife. Yeah with me. Yeah We depend on how hot the dude is Great-looking guy because like the girl you you know, you whatever it's a girl. You ever see uh, eat your salad Then looks like that. Oh, what's that? I mean, whatever. Yeah, whatever learn a thing or two. Yeah, I would do it Yeah, I'd be like does your wife have to come? Yeah Is your wife gonna be like even satisfied by any of this? No, does your wife even have to be there?
Starting point is 01:25:53 Can it just be us hanging out? Yeah, I just want to like drink a beer with you Like watch you DJ. I love you No, but you won't hear a funny story actually didn't happen to me, but it happened to Frankie so When we were in college Well, he I was in my college age. I wasn't in college, but When we were in college Me and Frankie would go to karaoke bars all the time
Starting point is 01:26:18 And his sister ran the karaoke for this one bar. Okay, and we would go to it all the time control that mic Right. Yeah, and you know Frankie is a performer So he would do a bunch of songs by himself when we do songs together and like whatever and I remember he did a song once and then This guy comes up to him and he goes, hey man, that was really good, man And he's like thanks. I appreciate it. Whatever. He's like, yeah, you want a beer? And he's like, all right So the guy buys him a beer and he's like, hey, thanks man. See whatever
Starting point is 01:26:50 Goes back to the seat. He's talking with whoever and then uh Later on in the night Frankie does a couple other songs and then You know, whatever Frankie's at the bar. This guy that comes out to me. He goes, hey man, uh Can I talk to you for a second? He's like, yeah, what's going on? He's like, you see my wife over there. He's like, yeah, how are you doing? Whatever. He's like You think she's hot and he's like, what? He's like, you think my wife's hot and he goes Yeah, she's a good looking woman. He goes, you want to have sex with her? Shut the fuck up and Frankie's like, what? The guy's like, yeah, you want to have sex with her?
Starting point is 01:27:24 And he's like, uh It's like, yeah, we're you know, we're into that sort of thing like whatever blah blah blah And Frankie is just like, uh, you know, I'll give back to you on that Right, so he goes back to the table and starts having like a pow wow being like, you know, what do I do in the situation? and uh, what he comes up with is like Our friend who uh, my friend Dominic He's like, yo, if you come with me, then I'll go right just like keep an eye on me Yeah, just so this guy doesn't chop me up put me in a bag and then feed me to his pig
Starting point is 01:27:56 um He so Dominic's like, yeah, fuck it. I'll go with you like whatever so He goes back to the guy and the guy's like And he's like, hey, is it cool if my buddy comes just like, you know, whatever and the guy's like, yeah No, that's cool. Like whatever blah blah blah so Frank's like, all right, and then Like it was about to go down and then all of a sudden the guy's like, oh by the way, you guys are into like gay shit, right?
Starting point is 01:28:21 Oh No, and the Frank was like No, man. I'm not really like into that. Like, you know, whatever he wanted both ways He wanted to suck and fuck. It kind of got crushed there. Damn. Yeah, they always open. Well, that's a good salesman though Yeah, he's got him. Yeah, open with the vagina and you close with the dick. I did appreciate I did appreciate how he uh, you know, actually put it out there Because it'd be one thing to start surprising people being like, oh, is that a penis that you just put on my in my hands? Yeah, don't start eating somebody's ass. I don't know where that's all got to be like disgust right
Starting point is 01:28:58 So it almost happened though. That's pretty fucking cool. That that's a story just to be like you did Yeah, you know and like have people know it Right and no one can deny it. Right It's very interesting. You should have sucked that guy's dick No, I should I mean, I didn't I wasn't there that night. So I don't I don't know but I don't understand why like Like would you would you want to film yourself having sex? For what just just to have it. I mean, I've done it
Starting point is 01:29:30 But like it's not like a thing that I have to do No, but like I feel like people like are really into like filming themselves. Yeah, some people are I wouldn't want to see me having sex. I think You know when like like Godzilla's knocking over buildings That's what I feel like it was good. God. Is that me? God It's like I don't look nearly it's like kind of like when you hear your voice for the first time on like recording Yeah, I sound like that
Starting point is 01:30:03 It's like, you know, that's what my hips look like I'm thrusting like that. I thought this was way better Yeah, looking in the mirror while you're fucking those kind of fucking fire Do you ever I was just about to say something I was about to say something But I'm gonna save it for after the show because it's a little too much, but I'll tell you All right, cool. Um, but it involved a mirror and and like seeing myself and then like I just I was like but um Yeah, I some people I guess find it thrilling to be like, oh, there's a camera
Starting point is 01:30:35 Adding some layer of excitement to it. Yeah, I guess there's I don't really see it as being like whoa Exciting. Yeah, like people are like that though. Like I wouldn't want to watch myself. Well, what are you doing taking fucking notes? Like with a notepad like studying your stroke good for you But like I don't know just always seemed a little I'm just good with sex. Yeah, I'll just want I just I'll have your vagina I'll film I'm good with all the beaches and hedges and zee's and beaches. Do you ever get ass on st. Patrick's day? Uh, I don't think so. I don't think I've ever gotten ass on a pad these days. I mean either hard to get ass What are you gonna do have sex in a disgusting bathroom? I'm also one of those people that if I get really drunk my dicks just like
Starting point is 01:31:14 Good luck. Yeah, my dick's not a dick. Yeah. Yeah, he's just like dude. We're a vagina tonight. Yeah, all right So I can't I'm not with you. Did you have any shrinkage down there in Miami? What? I saw you guys had the hot tub in there. Yeah, why are you saying when my dick shrink? Yeah for what? I'm just saying you're just your penis in general Why are you asking me? Did my dick shrink in Miami? Yes, I don't why would it because you were in water Oh, yeah, probably that's what I'm saying. Oh, I wasn't like keeping tabs on it No, I'm just wondering if you got caught with any shrinkage out there. I mean, I went to the beach
Starting point is 01:31:51 Yeah, you got some shrinkage. Yeah, you come out of the water your dick goes. Yo wait, hold on. I'm freezing, man Isn't it so weird? It's like your your dick hides Yes, we're and your balls are just like Oh Yeah, why do your balls get so stiff right on nuts, man, you know drill looks like a brain. Yeah, dude I really really really Really need to fix my downstairs area
Starting point is 01:32:17 Right now I'm gonna come out and say it my pubes Big problem on fire Kingsley on fire Like when you move like in your your your waistband catches it, you're like, I'm doing this I could feel individual hairs Just doing this just shaking my legs like a child That's in his chair. That's too big for him. So that's what I'm gonna do tomorrow too. I'm gonna clean that out, man How often do you manscape? I don't know I really don't know
Starting point is 01:32:53 I would say maybe once every like two and a half weeks Oh, dude, I don't yeah, it's been a couple of months, dude. What yeah, I haven't whacked in a while Well, I've whacked but like not yeah, you've not not like like weed whacked right. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, you got to get I want to know what it is. It's about having like I need some tools I get it like I I usually do it like around the same time I get my hair cut just be like, oh my whole body's cool Fresh and everything up. Yeah, fresh head fresh dick. Yes. Fuck How far under your balls do you go not that far I go far, dude I'll hold my balls up and step up on like the the bathtub captain Morgan captain Morgan and get like most of my gooch
Starting point is 01:33:34 Nice. Yeah. Yeah, I don't go like crazy with it. You don't shave your gooch I mean, I buzz it you buzz it. I shave it like you shave it like a razor. Yeah, razor my gooch and my balls, bro We'll be easy on it. No. Yeah. I am I am I am I've nicked my nuts Yeah, if you ever nicked your nut, it's like, ah, yeah split second and then you're like, oh man, there was actually a time where I was Manscaping because I was preparing for some coitus coitus with a lovely woman and I nicked my ween Your actual ween. Yeah, and then I was like, well, that's not happening anymore You had a couple stragglers up the shaft had to get rid of them. Yeah, and I tried and I cut my penis So I was like, I'm not having sex now. No, you should just put the condom on and just went from there
Starting point is 01:34:23 Yeah, but I was still afraid. I hear you. I'm a hypochondriac. I would just yeah, you do you do have an open wound on your penis Probably not the smartest thing to do. Probably. Yeah. Well, what are you gonna do? You're playing with A lot of fire at that point sexual fire sexual fire This girl's on fire All right before we wrap up the show here, let's get some shout outs from the patrons patron love patron love All we do is love patrons. All right. We got austin kill gore. Austin kill gore. That's a fucking cool Yeah, that dude is definitely related someone from lord of the ranks. Zachary seeding Zachary seeding siden siden
Starting point is 01:35:03 Put that seed in somebody. Uh, checo checo. Whoever that is one name. One name. That's awesome Russian Croatian MMA fighter Caleb severance Caleb severance shout out to Caleb shout lucas hamilton leah morn Robert madigan. Whoo Julia Torres. Hell. Yeah, jesse wiggin. Whoo wiggins. Chelsea heal Nope. Chelsea hill. Chelsea hill Lexi steer lexie steer porn star. That is a porn star kim strong also a porn star very very poor. Which one's better? I'm gonna go strong. I'm gonna go with strong. Yeah, sarah morse. That's a principle Uh
Starting point is 01:35:42 Chiara montana porn star. Yeah, Eric zang Asian porn star Uh, hidey mcdaniel Real estate agent, I would say tennis player matt arnold just a right white guy christopher bickford rich white guy jacob mankey Weird kid in like third grade. Had a rough growing up with that last name. Yeah, uh, jason fallows Can't get a read on to be honest with you. Yeah. Yeah, Thanos kaya gray back to porn star Uh charise ready. Come on. She's ready. She's ready. Uh, matthew irani I don't know me neither hard read. Oh that girl was technically born ready
Starting point is 01:36:24 Wow, that's fire mind blown. Uh, logan peterson logan peterson. Good fighter. Good fighter Uh christian herne lacrosse player. Yeah bag off. Uh, joe herrera. Obviously that's a mechanic nicole and gopes I don't even know gopro. I don't know. Uh, nicole faranti Neighborhood gal. Yeah, she loves that hearty janeva driger Geneva is kind of a hot name. Yeah Maybe and is it janeva or jenevieve? No, it's janeva. It's janeva. Yeah, and then zack janeva's a font janeva's a font and zack is probably jewish because the name is zack. Yeah, or just you know, just zack or just zack
Starting point is 01:37:07 Yeah, you know, he's got spiky here. Yeah All right Anyway, that is all uh for this week's uh episode of the baseman yard Thank you to all the patreons again If you want to be a patron you get a shout out if you're at a certain tier and you get a personal video shout out for me And danny if you're at a certain tier as well, so you can go to patreon.com slash the baseman yard Um, and danny, where can they find you at daniel over here on twitter and instagram You guys can follow the show at the baseman yard. Go follow me on social media at joe santa gato and that is all
Starting point is 01:37:35 See you guys next time

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