The Basement Yard - #181 - Lets Go To Camp
Episode Date: March 18, 2019Danny & Joe talk about the pros & cons of going to sleep-away camp. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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Think we're good. All right
Welcome back to the basement yard. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Wait, huh? Wait
Yeah, drink your water
You know, it's always amazing to me how people are like, you know, I'll have a double
gray goose on the rocks and that's it
That's fucking gross unless you're Polish or like super Russian
Like 70 years old. Yeah, or 70 years old Polish or Russian man. Yeah, then like I just don't understand it
I never understood like
Whiskey, I understand why you drink it straight, right? I understand neat neat
Vodka never understood
No, like it's either like you're super homeless
You know what I mean? You have you got a bottle of Georgie
Yeah, one of those why do they put that thing on top of vodka bottles so it doesn't come out faster
Why because it like would overflow a shot glass. Ah
Yeah
All right. Mm-hmm
Pop that off and you got a good time. What are you doing?
No, I was seeing if you had any on those ones. Oh, no, I don't have Georgie. Was that a $4 handle?
I was looking for those ones like with the nipple on them. Oh, what am I a bartender am I gonna have that shit?
I don't know be kind of cool to have you know one time I actually went on a company retreat and there was like a
Fucking by the way, we're talking about drinking because it's like St. Patrick's Day was yesterday. Happy. Happy her to do a dirge
Happy St. Patrick's Day. Hmm. All right
Right. Oh, that's I don't know what I'm doing sound like Paul McCartney right there me. Yeah
Right on this is the beat. Why don't you live a pool?
But
Yeah, and then I stole a bottle from the bar that was there. Yeah
And it had wait wait you were at a bar and stole a bottle
So it there's a little more to this story, but like we were at this company retreat
Sounds like you stole some from a bar. Oh something was stolen. Okay for sure
We're at a company retreat and there was like this little like
Pool hall thing where they turned it into like a dance
Floor and then there was a bar. Okay, and I would obviously I you know was
Inabriated. Yeah a little bit dancing Joe was coming out. Oh dancing Joe was fully out and I reached over the bar
And I grabbed a bottle of something. I don't remember what it was
But it had like the metal like
lip thing on the top of it that you pour like shots with and then I was on the stage
Which I don't know if I was supposed to be there and I was pouring shots in a bunch of people's mouths
That's pretty hot though and my own mouth. That's hot, too. Yeah, and it got on myself
To who that's pretty hot. Yeah, it was a lot. It was a very sexy thing
Until one of the people who worked there came up to me or like, yeah, where'd you get that and I wasn't really on my game
So I just went I brought it. Oh, and then he held like my wrist up
To my face like this the bottom of hand and he goes where'd you get that?
Talking about the little lip thing that you put on it and I go. I don't know
I was like, yo, it was over here. I just grabbed it and found it. No, I mean, yeah
I still I held on to it to be honest. Yeah, I wasn't gonna let that thing go
And then I just like walked up the hill and I was like just drinking it with like a bunch of people that I work with
The bar had a hill it was like this sleepaway camp thing
Yeah, it was awesome. Actually, you know adult sleepaway camp. Yeah, it was kind of all in out
No, yo, we should do it. No lie. We should do it. So I'm not kidding
We should do it this summer with like a couple of our friends not like a crazy group
I like six seven of us
It's a lot of fun because it's literally like a sweet sleepaway camp, but do you play like kickball and shit?
Yes, and with a keg and you get hammered and
There's like hikes, but you hike to a mini keg and then you finish it and then you go to the next one
There's another mini keg with a different beer in it
And then there's like that pool hall thing at night where they do like I don't fucking know what they do at camp
So they do like announcements or some shit like an assembly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know
So they have that but they kind of like team building. Yeah, and all the counselors are just
Fucking each other. You know what I mean? I feel like that's like a huge camp staple like you have to fuck someone that you work with
Yeah, I didn't fuck anybody though. Did you ever work at a camp? I've never seen a camp until that day
You you never went to a camp ever as a kid. Really? I didn't have any Jewish people around here
Jewish people for the most part good. They love camp. Love camp. They're big camp people
But I had no contact with any Jewish people ever in my entire life
How do you live in Queens and you'd not?
Encounter any anyone the practice Judaism the only Jewish people I ever knew well
I didn't know this kid with or the people who I knew who were Jewish now that I'm thinking about it like
They didn't have like bar mitzvahs and shit
They weren't like that they weren't religious at all
So I didn't even know until later on in life that they were Jewish, but people who for the most part, you know
Are religious? Yeah, and practice. Yeah
That religion
They go to wake Judaism Judaism like they like out on Long Island. They all go to camp
Like, you know, I'm saying shester that that area
Exactly, but I don't know anyone that's ever been to camp shit as expensive as hell like you never worked at a camp
No, you're working at Frankie with the camp actually Frankie went to camp not Jewish
But there was a lot of Jewish people there. What kind of camp was it? It was just like a sleepway. Oh, it's a sleepway not a day camp
To be honest with you. I'm not even completely sure I worked at a day camp
Which was like for like super rich kids
And I taught them how to swim
Job was fire. Yeah, you know, I just I did nothing like I just taught kids how to swim
How how much older were you than them?
I taught kindergarten kids how to swim. So I basically they're sending kindergarten. Oh, it's a day camp. It's a day camp
Oh, I was gonna say you send your kindergarten kid. There was four years old a fucking camp. Yeah nuts
No, so I had I had kindergarten kids. Is it kindergarten or kindergarten?
Kindergarten it's kindergarten
Gart a lot of people say kindergarten. I say kindergarten like it's a kindergarten garden. Yeah, it's a garden
I say that too. I don't say kindergarten. No, what am I a fucking principal?
Kindergarten students. Yeah, please report. No, but I actually
Taught many kids how to swim nice. Yeah, so that that job was like that was fulfilling because like the kids all love me
I'm just like I'm a big kid myself. So yeah, but it would be weird
like
Knowing like how like there's like counselors. They all fuck each other. Did you fuck counselors? Well, I was dating one time
You know her. Oh, yeah, so I was yeah, you're fucking her. Yeah, so
But um everyone fucks each other at camp that's fire which is crazy
It's like, you know, you go to work and then you're just like, I'm just gonna fuck
Well, do you think about it if it was a day camp? I couldn't imagine a sleepaway camp
They're probably fucking sucking each other's nipples and shit. Yeah, we can ask. Yeah, definitely looking asshole right in that bunk
Yeah, getting in that bunker in that bunker. What's up? What again your bunker in your bunker?
Yeah, like a like a double entendre. Is that what a double entendre means? I'll be honest with you
I used to think that was like a spell. I didn't know what it was
Or like a special move from a video game
Yeah, just like a like a or like one of those figure skating moves where they do the what's those?
Beautiful double entendre
He nailed it mark. He's gonna do it
Figure skating I used to be a big hater on figure skating not a hater now. I'm like this shit is amazing. Yeah, I
Can't skate at all and I couldn't imagine being able to jump up in the air and do like
One spin these guys are doing triple ones or land and they got fucking fire outfits on those dudes are
Fucking athletes like the male figure skaters
And the females doing they get those fucking cool teddy bears and flowers at the end of the shit there of their run
Yeah, is that what it is? Yeah, they're heat. Why do they call things heat?
I don't know. I used to see that during the X games like oh, I had a bad heat gonna have to make it up for it in this next
Heat I'm like what I never understood like what is why do they call it a heat? What about rounds? Yeah third round?
That's gotta be like a sport like all right. Let me ask you this
We just grazed through a ton of things just now. It's all right. It's okay. It's our same Patty's day
Before we get in the same patty's day
I actually want to read about the history of same patty's day because I don't know it but um
X games snowboarding is it a sport?
100% okay
Skiing is it a sport?
Yeah, I consider all these things sports. Okay. You're not gonna get me. All right luge. Yeah, is it a sport? Yep
Even though it's like a like do you consider NASCAR a sport?
I consider things that are sports everything sport
I just consider it just because it's like shown on a sports channel and it's like a race
I'm not one of those purists. That's like well. No, you have to be sweating or something is golf a sport a
Thousand percent. I hate when people say it's a game
They're fucking idiots. It's a sport. So you know, especially you see the guys now
They're all like fucking jacked and shit, you know what sports are games. Yeah, you fucking idiot
I'm going to a basketball game. You never say I'm going to a basketball sport going to a sporting match. Yeah of basketball
The fuck what do you think's the best sport to watch live?
Probably hockey yeah hockey's fun hockey football though basketball if you're like really close
Yeah, it's better than hockey in my opinion. Yeah, if you're really close
Well, because then you actually get to see like how athletic they are right hockey is the most exciting for
The let's call it the average seat not the nosebleeds not very close
Just like maybe bottom level like up up though. Yeah, yes
That's probably it's probably the best sport to watch from the average seat
But very close I would say basketball is because you're fucking right there. Yeah, the worst one is easily MMA though
Like you have any kind of socks you basically go there to watch like
The Titan trunk a lot of it cuz you could sit there and like I've been close
Were you with me that time? Yeah when we went in the garden? We were pretty close
We were pretty close. So it was like we can hear everything and it's like it's a cool experience
Yeah, you could rather you could go anyway, and I think like you could hear them actually hitting each other
I would much rather go anyway, but I just feel like
Once it goes to the ground like
When you bet when you bet it's fun too, that's it's more fun when you bet on sports and actually go to the events
Mm-hmm, or it's awful one of the other one of those. Yeah, but um, yeah, hold on real quick
I forgot before we move on to anything. Yeah. Yeah once you circle back to camp real quick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah camps a great subject
I love talking about so this place just again. I can't believe I never told you about this. No
All right, so this camp they have like events all day, right?
We should this is why I'm trying to sell you on going to this thing
They it's pretty expensive, but it's all like open bar and free food also. It's like buffet style
Oh
Yeah, it's sick
They and there's basketball courts. There's kickball football like everything dude, you can imagine they have a fucking a blob. Oh
From like heavyweights. Yeah fire if you haven't seen heavyweights, too
Get the fuck out of here stop watching this and go watch block everything
You want to see like one that's like one of Ben Stiller's best roles. Yeah, he's fantastic in it. Love it. Love it
One question though. Yes. What's the sleeping set you like so you have bunks?
Oh, and it's it's look it's the bunks
so it's like little cabins and
There's maybe two or three beds in each. Okay, so it's not like crazy
It's not like 45 like men's no, no, there's not enough
I could I couldn't do that I wait in the shower people farting and pooping
No, I actually don't remember the bathing situation to be honest with you. That's that's a big one for me
I need to bathe. No, yeah, I
Because I'm a big dude, you know, I'm saying you're who a fig dude fig like I'm thinking big
I'm a fig dude. Okay, so like someone as thick as I am. I like to shower. I run hot
Right, you know, I'm saying you got little sweat particles. Yeah little puddles. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I get them popping
You know when you feel that little stream roll down your breast and cut it down your body
Yeah, and ends up close to your penis area
And you want to see how far that actual stream of sweat can go before you went like this and yeah before you stop it
You know, it's like when you pee on a street and you want to see how far your stream goes. Yes, I
Like that. That's what that's what it's like for me. So, you know, I think he smiles up in this bitch, right?
Yeah, no, I there showers. That's but they're not like outdoor showers. All right good. Yeah, I don't like that
No, no, no, like hose me down and let's get back to being in camp. No, no, no, like there's their showers
And I believe there's like bathrooms like within the the cabins. It's not like oh
We have to walk to these community showers and shower next to the pigs
There were pigs there. There weren't any pigs. I don't know why I said that
but
Fucking there's yeah, there's like three beds
But I think you can get cabins where there's only like one bed like VIP cabins or something firefest
They also have
They also have a bottle of wine like chilled in every cabin that is dope, which is sick
Is it unisex sleeping arrangements? Uh, or is it dudes on dudes? I I believe it's
Dude sandwiches. All right, but that'd be cool. I think it over to the girls punks. Yeah, and you're like a grown-ass man
Yeah, oh my god
I'm gonna go try and get some pussy, but don't tell anyone not that I don't give a fuck
Did you kiss McKayla last night? I don't know. I don't know. Where were you? I saw you over by the trapeze
I was hanging
There was trapeze there by the way
Wait, yeah, you'd hung like this
Motherfuckers caught my arms
Swung the boy. Yeah, wait for crime though. I
Mean you're a thick guy, so
Might have to have a strong guy up there. I'll launch people from the blob
Oh, yeah, you will send people into the fucking fucking forest
Yo, and I was trying to get one of these fuck. There's one of this count. This one counts
They're like hard hard-body karate
Give me some attributes
What do you want me to just like yeah, describe her a little bit like what does she uh?
What she looks you test that yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't put a number on it
No, no, I thought you want me to look at their credentials. She was like five eight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was she?
No, she was hot she was from and and these are all people to like from like Britain and like you know I'm saying that
Do you know the people that like never see him again? Yeah, but like, you know
They come here for like summer internships at like Disney
Yeah, it was like the same deal all these people from who are the counselors weren't from here. Yeah, so
Play ball how to go
Ah
Not good
Yo, how did I make that noise? I didn't go great, but here's what I'll say. What was her name?
Man, I wish I knew something with an M if that helps Mandy
Definitely not that I just took one shot. Um, but she was like um, so the first time I saw her because they also have like the like a lake
But it's like roped off. Yeah, you know I'm saying just in case of sharks and
Plankton or whatever wait sharks don't live in lakes. That's true
Like then maybe I don't even think plankton lives there dude. What a fish. All right bass catfish whatever is dangerous
Also, they probably just didn't want drunk people drowning that is probably the main reason they broke
She was one of the lifeguards and they had one of those big ass like inflatable slides that you climb up one end
You slide down the other so I was up there sliding because you know, I fuck with the inflatables
Damn dude, you went straight squints. Yeah people I fuck with the inflatables and it's well documented that I fuck with the inflatables
And she was a lifeguard. Yeah, she was Wendy Pfeffer corn in it. Yeah, she wasn't blonde nor was she as smoky as Wendy Pfeffer corn
But you know, she was she was good. She was doing it for you at that particular time in your life
I was at the top of this inflatable looking down on her like I gotta have that
I must have
this
British nightmare now that she was now not that she was older than you but
Since she was a count she wasn't older than me since she was a counselor though
Did you kind of feel that she was like older than you like in a weird way?
Well, she had some sort of like authoritative like
Power over me. Yeah, it's like if she blew that whistle. I'm all hers. You know what I'm saying
So there was a little power dynamic there like oh, I think I'm I think I may be like a few months older than you
But if you blow that whistle, I'm your slave
I'll listen
Oh, I'll listen. I'll listen. I'm too far out. I'll come back in. Yeah
No running. You got it. That's a scary thing
That's a scary thing about like the ocean though, too
It's like you'll literally be swimming in the ocean and literally you'll come up and you'll be like 50 yards this way
Yeah
Then I'm like, holy fuck. Yeah, I'm getting out of this. Yeah, fuck that
But when you were at the camp, yeah, wait, wait, wait
Oh, I'm not done my love story. Okay, bastard. I didn't know was that I didn't know I didn't know was that deep
Oh, it's oh, it goes far. All right. It actually doesn't end too well. I can make this into a movie anyway
So I'm I'm on top of this thing. I climb up the thing. I'm a little tired
You know, so the boy's taking a little a little break. Yeah sitting on top
We make eye contact and I and I wave at her
You know, because I'm in the woods
You know what I'm saying? Like
What does that have to do with waving you're waving in the woods? It's even creepier. No, no, no
I'm in the woods. So it's like, you know, I'm in like, all right. I need a companion
Right type of thing. Okay. I thought you were just waving like a creep from the woods
No, I just I can't be in these woods alone is what I'm trying to say. Yes. You know what I mean?
No one should be in the woods alone. That's what I'm saying
So I'm up there. I wave at her. We said some I don't really remember
She said her name probably because I asked for it. I don't know what it is. But anyway, I just slide down that shit. All right
I'm in the water splashing around a little bit
I play it cool. I just I just leave
After that, okay
Later on in the night
This was after I had stolen the bottle
from the thing from the whoever
okay, uh
We're in that thing with the dance floor and I'm dancing dancing shows out
You know what I mean? And uh, she comes she just appears
And there's disco lights and they're hitting her face just right this magic moment
This magic moment
You had it at a camp. Yes as a grown man. That is fire. You're not a grown man. But you know man
Yeah, uh one. Yeah, but so she starts dancing with me, right and I'm dancing with her
and
Then she turns around
And puts that thing on me watch put that bridge booty on you did
So now I got the thing on me and we're dancing
and then out of nowhere
This other camp counselor
Dude, fuck who by the way was like riding. This is I swear to god. This is true
I swear to god. I'm not trying to be funny when I say this
But it's the most camp fucking thing in the world. This kid was
Doing bike tricks
all day
At the camp like we'd be at lunch and all of a sudden he had like a little show
Where you'd do like bike tricks with like a BMX trick thing
So the bike, you know, Dave Mira. Yeah, you know, R.I.P
He comes he comes in and he starts making out with her. Wow. I got the thing on me
And so I just you know, wow
I slipped out like a magician because I was like, I don't want to be a part of this, you know, weird camp dynamic
Triangle dynamics the dark underworld of camp, right? Yeah, it's gonna be a long
Summer I don't want to get in but I don't want to get in between
True love damn dude. He hopped off that BMX bike and got down to business. It's true
It's very true. There was no bike to be seen that was the first time I saw him walk to be honest with you
Kind of glided in if I'm being completely honest. What's up? I'm skyler. I do the bike stuff around here, right?
He had a helmet on it wasn't buckled though, which I thought was awesome
I'll be honest with you. This guy deserved that girl more than you. Well. Yeah, that's why I got out of there
You do BMX tricks
I honestly just you should get whatever kind of puts you on especially at camp hell
Yeah, I honestly just didn't want her to turn around and then start comparing me to him because I was like
I'm not gonna win this battle. Yeah, so I just slipped out of there that shit
Then I'm walking up. I go to my room when I grab a bottle of wine red wine
Which you know, it's more seductive than white
Yeah, but it also is not something you drink at the end of the night when you've had a ton of other
Clear liquor. Yeah, it's time to go sleepy sleepy
Right, so I just grabbed it and I started walking down this hill and mind you I went with like my entire company and like no one's
It's pretty late and I just walked into some random fucking thing where there are a bunch of counselors
and I just walk into the room and I got a bottle of wine and
I saw one of the counselors walk in there because they all had like the same color shirt
okay, and I just walk in there and like
It's just only counselors in there and I'm just like, oh shit
And I was like, what's up and then like everyone in there was just kind of like who the fuck is this kid?
And she wasn't in there. So I was like, all right later and I just like
Drank this bottle of wine on the way up back to the hill and went to sleep. Damn. You got your heart broken. I got my heart broken, man
Actually, you didn't get broken because it never it. No, I never got
Pieced together. No, Schuyler got up on got up got up in between y'all
Started smooching it down and it was a wrap. I'm not gonna say I lost my girl to
Some some BMX bunny hops. Yeah, but I lost my girl some BMX money hops rightfully. So, you know, I'm saying rightfully. So it was it was you know
It sucks
But I went hard the rest of the weekend like all the events
I'm like, you know, if this is like in a tower somewhere watching she's gonna see me win this fucking ultimate frisbee challenge
I'm winning this fucking three-legged race. I'm saying. Yeah, I didn't take part in the color war though
You know color war is the best. I know I just wasn't around all the games
I wasn't around they were I was doing this drinking thing that they had
Funny color war story. So the camp that I worked at we had black
White red blue yellow green. Yeah, we had six teams. All right, so it's what team are you?
I was this year. I was on the green team fire. Yeah, we won. Yeah
um
This particular year
so at the end
Everyone does like a like a cheer
What like you do like a team cheer like it's one of the events
That you get judged on like which what kind of cheer we talking we're talking like some like like you hear a coy
Shit, or we're talking about like like a cheerleader shit like we are aggressive
Or like no, no, no, no, no, no, we are dynamite
Don't mess with tick tick tick boom dynamite dynamite doesn't even tick
It goes it takes it goes
Why do you do that so well you've been around dynamite wouldn't you like to know at least common snake
We're talking about dynamite. We're not talking about snakes. No
Some dynamite tick some dynamite tick
Yo, some dynamite tick. Yeah, so they do some of them some of the some of the yeah, but it has to be attached to something
That ticks that's you don't like you don't like dynamite and he goes tick tick tick tick tick
No, no, no, but you ever see like a whole thing a dynamite and there's just a clock on it
That's just going that is the clock that is ticking
Yeah, but it's connected to the dynamite therefore that is that is one dynamite
Almost don't mess with dynamite either if it takes or goes don't do that. Yeah, it's dangerous. I'm amazing at that
No, so we did like hours. I can't remember hours
um
Can you like give me an example of what a cheer would be? I'm gonna tell you. Okay, so the white team goes up there
Does this get racist?
Just wait. Oh my god. So it's always the whites. Yes. What the hell man?
So the white team goes up there
And here's their chance. Oh, no, that's the way. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. We like it. We're white. We're white
Yes
That was the cheer
So me and like all the counselors on other teams just start looking around like yo like
Is anybody else feeling this way and me and this other counselor?
Who are boys? I'm still boys on up to this day. We were like
They didn't just say that
So they literally sang that for about a minute and a half. That's the way uh-huh. Uh-huh. We like it. We're white. We're white
Yeah
Those people are from deep out in Long Island probably. Yeah, I would say montauk. Yeah
I was like you guys should have got a clearance on this one before you guys should have proof read this one run it by somebody
Yeah
What's that game when uh
There's like five people on this side and five people on this side and it's like number three and you run out and get a
Basketball like dude and like shoot it steal the motherfucking bacon steal the bacon. I was nasty at still
Steal the bacon was
Five y'all. I was so popular when I was younger because just because I was fat. You remember it like being fast
It was like the only criteria for coolness when you're in high school
It's like oh you either got to be like the captain of the football team or just like have big jugs or be like smoking hot
Or something right and then you're popular
When you're younger all it is is like, yo, are you fast? Yeah, you know that's the fastest kid in school coming out
So me and this kid Dennis were really fast. He was just like light years like ahead of me
Like still to the state probably shout out to Dennis shout out to Dennis, but
That's why me and him were friends Dennis to tennis Dennis tennis tennis Dennis Dennis Dennis
But there was one like yo, he was so good at that game. We used to do like line soccer and it was like
You
When your number gets called you have to go out there and then dribble the soccer ball and try to score
Oh, so whoever got to the ball would be on offense
Yeah, and then defense, but if you stole it where you got a point
Or did you have to score?
If you no, no, no
Yes, if you scored you got a point and if you stole it from the person who had the ball then you got a point
Got it
I remember that
And he would get the ball
And kick the ball and everyone just moved out of the way because he would kick it like a thousand miles of an hour
That game was so fucking fun. You know many times people have just run and just fucking buried each other
I'd fucking half court steal the bacon
Did you guys always do the same number or did they do two numbers sometimes to be like three versus six?
Oh, yeah, uh, like to mix mix it up. So like people wouldn't immediately run out there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes
My gym teacher went hard. Yeah, like he and he I think he had a microphone and he would go three versus
Six and then you fucking go out that game was so amazing fucking got your heart rate up there, too
Just the adrenaline alone, but uh, we played these the games we played we played
that
We played water pool volleyball
Fire so fucking fun, dude
We played that at Ralph's all the time. He has a net in his backyard. It's the most fun game
Ever yeah, like pool basketball. Not a fan. I get tired. We
Pool volleyball. I just got this zone. I just got this. I just got to play here and it comes around. I'll bump it
I'll spike it. I'm a great setter. Yeah, you know what I mean? I said, just keep me around here and we're good
Yeah, and then um, what were you gonna say you were gonna say something about uh volleyball
No, I was gonna say when you play pool basketball because we used to play that at boss's house because he has like a
Big pool in his backyard and he had like a real
Basketball rim. That's pretty just lower it and put it like right over the pool
And we would make it so like, you know, there's no fouls. So just kill each other right and you just have to score
And then like, you know, there's nothing better though
Than hitting a dunk in someone's face. Oh, yeah, but no matter the height of the rim, too
It's like I just dunked all over you blocking a spike in the pool
The greatest feeling of all time
There's no quicker way than to emasculate another man than to fucking block his volleyball spike
Oh my god, and just get and then like
There's only a net between you fucking bitch. Yeah, I just spit everywhere. It's all right
That's how it's what happens in the heat of competition. It's the true. That's the true thing
And we had basketball three on three one that shit
but um
One that shit. Yeah, but um
You missed out on the color war. You should have did it. I know I really regret it because like I was just
Yo, I honestly would be super down to go
How much is it like a thousand bucks? Uh, no, I might be less than that. Oh like 600 maybe. All right. That's cool
Like two nights. I think two nights. All right. Go to patreon.com slash the basement yard and send me and joe to camp. All right
Yo, honestly, we should do that shit. I know. Um, but also just a quick shout out to the patreon. We are over 1200 people
We are 300 away from my raise just throwing that out there
help your boy
and
You have anything to add
Uh, it's patreon.com slash the basement yard patreon spelled p a t r e o n dot com slash the basement yard
Thank you to everyone also on this patreon. If you don't know we do some extra content on there q and a ship me and danny and
Every month there's a new an extra episode that we record just for patreon. So if you want that that's where you get it only you get it
Boy patreon.com slash basement yard, but um, yes the other thing that I was going to say about camp though
I think camp is good
For day camps. I don't think sleepaway camp is good. Why because it's just like I would just feel weird like sending my
My kid away to camp for like two weeks
Two weeks, isn't it two months? No, but no, but like I'm trying to keep it like realistic
That's like kids that like go crazy like and they spend mad money to go to away to camp
That's what I thought camp was like an all summer thing. No, but like some people like go for like part of the summer and then like
they'll um
like
Leave camp and then come back to camp
Oh, like they'll go like away with their family and then like return to camp. Right. It's like just like rich people
Yeah, camp's a lot of money, man. I just don't think camp is like a cool thing
Like like to send your kid away like if my kids off for the summer, I don't see him all year
I mean you see him. Yeah, but it's like very brief and he's probably an asshole most of the time. I want to do kids like
You want to do kids?
Dude, take it easy. That michael jackson shit just came out. Yeah, that was that was on hbo
You can't be saying that stuff. Yeah, we'll fix that most
But um, I'm so glad you said it and not me because that would have been like strike seven for me. Yeah. No, no
That's so funny. Oh god
Fucking
Finally a kid line came out of my mouth. Thank you god. No, but uh, I want to like
Hang out with my kids during the summer. I'd rather do stuff with them than just be like, all right. I'll see you
Yeah, I mean, I think you'll feel differently. I want you to
Yeah, fuck them. Just get him out of there
I always like think about like, oh my god, when I have kids we're gonna make gingerbread houses and then like
I'm sure as soon as I have a kid. I'm gonna go dude
You want to make a gingerbread house?
Go to the store. Go get your shit and make it. Yeah, I'm not doing it with you. Go on youtube
Yeah, I'll teach you. I'll teach you how to shoot a basketball. Yeah, teach you how to throw a football. Yeah
But I ain't making no gingerbread houses. Oh, bitch. No, I don't know. I'm still recovering from our our basketball game
I'm still recovering
Put the moves on danny tours growing. I we're not gonna talk about it. I strained it
I strained it. I strained it before then though. I was dominating the game
I was dominating the game
No, you weren't I'll tell you this
You have a not you have a good jump shot. You have a good jump shot
No way you could guard me. No, I can't
You know what I'm saying? I'm not a good post like like you could back me down. Like I just haven't I'm not good down there
I also have moves down there. You do. Yeah, you put a move on me. I didn't know you had
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I think a party was like, oh, all right
There's something in there. No, absolutely. I have no doubt in my mind that you were a good athlete
Yeah, that's why I was like, you know what?
And that's our busting Pete's ass
I was like, yo, no you were I was like, yo strong Pete. Let's see how strong you are. I'll put this on you, baby
But like it's it was just a mass on him
A lot of it was just like I wanted to feel where he would put his hands and then I would know where to go
Right, like if his hands were on like this side, I would just go this way. But um
so Joe like
Wasn't driving at all throughout the whole game
And then he's like, all right, I'll drive
So he drove and I was like, all right, he's gonna go up for a right-handed layup. He's right-handed
But he put like this stop
Like hesitation. Yeah, you like hiccup hit you with the hezzy and then um
I stopped one foot, but the rest of my body kept going and my groin just went
And then I laid it up and I hear him just go. Yep. It's it's it put my groin. I was like, are you serious?
I just walked out of the gym
I'm like and then we were just staying around. We're like, yeah, where's this kid going?
And for some reason I had to keep playing though
Yeah, I know like we lost that one
He came back in the gym and he just went oh
fuck
And I was like, oh god, I shouldn't be cursing in here people live here
But uh, we won the second game
That's what I did get cut short
We won we won
We won
Hit a three in that game
I was also pulled from two just to try because that guy was getting pissed. Yeah, he was also mika
I love you, bud
Six two can we score some points here not in the post Jesus dude give him a break. They don't play
Uh basketball in sweden. I just need a couple points though here. I'm out here. Yo, he was he was scoring points though. I think no
No, no, he knows who knows
Like it's like Michael I had to be like Michael Jordan flu game out there for someone who doesn't play basketball at all
He I don't think he I didn't he was better than I expected
He was better than I actually know
Because he fooled me with that that shooting video that he put up. Well, anyone could develop a jump shot
Give a take it
I was like to shoot it. Yeah, I was like a barely move. I said you got to give me the ball in the post
I'm gonna beat these kids up
But I want to be able to kick that thing out and shoot that thing because you guys started to double me down there
I was not doubling you. Pete would come and help me. I did cut you
This I just opened this up just now. Yeah, just to do it. No, I honestly didn't expect to talk about it
But it's been there. Yeah, I think me and you versus any two of your friends games over
Uh, it depends how long you could go I just think none of your friends are guarding me
Well, maybe the taller like Eric maybe Eric maybe but I I'll
If you could step out I'll work him too. Yeah, I'll work him too. You have good moves down low
Yeah, I play pretty big too, but not so much anymore. I'm afraid to hurt my knee. Yeah, but so now I just like kind of
We got to get out there and play. I did hit you guys with the stuff on Marbury where you dribble and you hold the ball like this
You were like, what the fuck was that? I was like, yeah, that's how because I was always short
So I had to protect the basketball like that because everyone fucking slapped you and that's how you get fouls called people
Slap the shit out of you. But yeah, I almost died
But um
And I was a fun game. That was a fun game
We got to play a lot more basketball this summer. We got to be a very active this summer
I feel like last summer we weren't very active
I agree, right? I feel like we weren't very active. Now we live two bucks from the park, too
There's no reason that we can't go there. I like noon. It's true shoot around
Get the jimmy up the jimmy was there. I'm starting to come if we would have played a few more
I honestly was surprised that I was hitting as many shots as I did
Because I haven't shot a ball in a while and those were like not shooters rims too. Like they were pretty tight
Yeah, like you have to like hit it. Yeah. Yeah, but um
Should we get into the history of st. Patrick's day? Uh, yeah
Here we go history of st. Patrick's day
It's so it's not I have no idea
So please if I'm reading the wrong thing
Just write below and then I won't care. What's gonna be an angry angry irishman in the become irish. All right suck my fucking
Pink ass. Okay
This is what it says
March 17th celebration
The march 17th celebration started in 1631 god damn
All that shit. Yeah, when the church established a feast day honoring st. Patrick
He had been patron saint patron on
Slash basically, uh, he had been patron saint of ireland who had died around the fifth century
So that's 500 years
I don't know how century century is it 21 22? No, we're always like a century ahead, bro
This isn't the sixth century. I'm gonna kill you. No, no, no, no, but we are in the 20
When it when it was 2000 it was a 21st century
Okay, so then yeah, that's what I'm saying. So then the
22,000 and 100 100 will be the 21 will be the 22nd century. Okay. So in the 21st century
We're living in the 21st century. Okay, right. That's why well fox when they did it. It was 20th century fox
boom
there you go
A whopping 12 centuries before the modern version of the holiday was first observed and this is the true story
Now sit down
Grab yourself something to eat. Here we go. All right. So, uh, I'm trying to find out wasn't it?
I thought he's like chased a bunch of snakes out with the bat
What the fuck are you talking like st. Patrick like chased like snakes out of ireland or something
He what legend all right legend says st. Patrick was actually born
May when suck it
This guy's last name was suck it suck cat
s u c c a t
That's suck it. That's suck it. That's suck my damn suck my dick. Yeah, dude
This guy's name was suck my fucking dick dude. That's fire, bro. Oh my god. May when suck it
Suck this fucking pink, but a name is named to patricius
Oh
Or patric or patric patricio neal no patricius. Oh that is a fire name son
If I ever get a cat I'll name it patricius
No
Which derives from the latin term father figure so patrick means father figure my middle name is patrick
You are like a father figure
Not I wouldn't can I wouldn't say that
I drink like one if that makes anything
Yeah, you definitely do it wasn't until the early 18th century that many of today's traditions were kicked into high gear
So I guess around the 18th century is when people just started getting fucking waste. This is a nine percent beer
Yeah, so you're starting to say is patric today earls
Three o'clock dude, you're fine dude. You just got back from miami. You probably drink in every fucking 30 seconds down there
That's why it's probably not the best idea. Yeah, you're yeah, that's true
Oh, are you drinking for me? What's going on?
Excuse me. Oh my gosh, the church found it kind of out of control
It was remind it was to remind uh
Celebrants with the holiday actually stood for that the church first so associated a botanical item
First of all, I'm not getting anything from this and neither am I so at no point
Here's here's what I'll say modern day celebrations and themes continue to take shape during the rest of the 1700s
In 1762 the first new york city parade took place
They've been doing that shit for 300 years st. Patrick's day parade in new york city is an absolute shit disaster
1978 the year of the irish rebellion for all your irish people who don't know
That the color green became officially associated with the day
So the reason they wear green is because of irish rebellion in 1798
cool the wearing of green
Which we are right now as for the green beer that's an even later addition in fact disgusting by the way
I can't get behind that. What is it food coloring in beer? I don't know
But like whenever things aren't the color that they're supposed to be I'm so grossed out by it
I can't drink green beer and also you remember when they made ketchup like purple and green
Yeah, that shit was disgusting. It's like oh, here's a hot dog with fucking green ketchup
I was like you can keep this yeah, because I'm not eating this shit
I remember that it was like around the same time as 3d doritos. Do you remember those?
Those are pretty good. Those are like the cold totinos
But they had nothing in them
Bugles bugles you just put them on your fingers and
Yeah, you'd be a cat and then eat your fingers. Yeah. Yeah, but um, yeah
I guess they started to get drunk around the 16 1700
Did you ever like go super hard for uh, st. Patrick's day? Absolutely. I cut school
In high school a couple times and took the metro took the metro north down metro north is an absolute urinal
Well, yeah, yeah, so this is before that now you can't drink on the train. What during st. Patrick's day
You can't do it anymore. Oh on st. Patrick's day. Just drink on the train. Yes every day. There's there's
Beer carts. Yeah
I I did I used to come home from work and she'd be like
Give me half this card
And let's I'm taking this and then let's rage. Let's rage and then I would just go home and like go to work next day
but like
I remember
St. Patrick's day we all cut school
And pre-gamed at my buddy's house when his parents went to work and we're drunk at 10 o'clock in the morning
Yeah, it's 10 o'clock and I like I'm drunk enough to the point where I'm like
Whoo
Yeah
Fuck
And now because
We didn't we we didn't want to get seen so we took a cab down
We didn't want people to see us in the in the neighborhood. Just like all drunk walking. All right
So I remember we get on the train
Girls that we were with two of them threw up
Always on the way to st. Patrick's st. Patrick's day is all about girls throwing up in their own purse
And they they threw up and they actually got on the next train just back home. They didn't stay of course and then
uh when we got there
Two of my friends got into arguments. We couldn't get into any bars
A friend of mine got arrested for peeing in the street at 17
Yeah, but it was it was terrible and I told myself from that day. I'll never do st. Patrick's day again
I've only done it once never gonna do it. Actually, I did it twice
But one time I did it were way smaller group and it was way more enjoyable
So my parents were like really cool when I was growing up because they knew that like me and my friends like
We're a bunch of like rowdy assholes like whatever. Yeah, but we're all like good kids for the most part
Yeah, you're not like trying to like fight everybody. Yeah, like we don't we don't try to get into trouble and like we're not like insane
But we did just drink, you know, so my mom was cool with us
drinking
Not at fucking 16 when it actually
For 15 when it started happening. But when I was like, you know, 18 19 years old, it was like, all right, you know, whatever
We would go to my house
at like
Yeah, and just start shotgun and beers and get fucking
And I felt bad because my mom is like a morning person like she'll wake up
She has to be in work at like eight. She'll wake up at six
let the dogs out have a
Cup of coffee beautiful start to her day read the newspaper like she she loves doing stuff like that, you know
And we're just out on the patio. She loves doing stuff like she loves doing stuff like that, you know, she has a good morning
Being a normal person, right? She wears a robe like the typical morning, you know, that sounds glorious
Yeah, it's like an episode of will and grace. Yeah, you know, because there's no gay guy that lives at my house
uh, but
So
And then and then that day my mom would get so mad at me because it would always be way more people than I
Said always happens that way too, you know, and not that it was a party
It was literally just this is the meeting place where we're gonna because like my house was always the house
that like
It was in and out like people were in and out all the time like grand central station
Yeah, because we used to have like a small pool and people would come over all the time because like I was always like
Yo, just kind of like my parents were awesome. Um
but
I remember we would just get fucking ham and like spray paint our hair green and then go to the city
Take the train into the city where those stupid beads beads. Yeah, we wear beads
And we go to the city and go to the parade and just scream
And just try to go as many bars as possible. You don't do anything
Yeah, you don't you go to the park
We actually wouldn't really go to the parade that much and like we went to a bar one day one day when we were under age
We all tried to get into this bar
Fuck is this I want to say it's murphy's murphy's is the big underage spot. It's right. It's right by grand central station
No, no, no, no, no, no, it's it's on there's one. Uh, it's not I don't know if oh, it's on
shenanigans
shenanigans you talk about shenanigans
shenanigans isn't it
Next person says shenanigans. No, no, no, it was I think it was called murphy's. It was someplace on second half
Second half and something but it was on second half and like we ended up getting into there
I used the venos id by the way, isn't it the best though when you get in somewhere
You're like, oh no, I can get a beer that feels like you like like you got a loud in the heaven
It's just like
And you're like, oh my god
Everything in here is mine fooled you pussy
Yeah, exactly asshole and I remember I was sitting I was standing on the standing on the bar
I was I was standing at the bar with this guy and he was so irish
I didn't understand anything he was saying
But there was a rugby match on the tv and that's literally that and cricket are like the only two sports that I had
No idea what the rules are. Yeah, so whenever something whenever this guy would cheer I would start cheering and remember we ordered like, uh
We I forgot how old we were it might have been 18
So we're like like very nervous because everyone in there was like older than us and
We ordered, uh
irish car bomb
Yeah, irish car bombs and then a guinness. I wish I hate both of those things. I love all of those things. No guinness is absolutely
Disgusting you're you're nuts. It's garbage juice dude. Guinness is great. No, everything's moving in the glass
You have to let it settle. I know I don't want a thing that I have to let settle
What was that when we're drinking milk and you're irish too
What does that mean?
I would have thought you'd be be team guinness
No, I crush I crush it every year usually on frankie's birthday if we if he's in Astoria
We go to this bar this irish bar over here and he makes me take one of those like guinness is great
A car bomb is fantastic. That's guinness. No
Yeah, you ever do a jaeger bomb? Yes
Jaeger bombs I could do all day. Do you do them with red bull? You do them with beer though. Don't be pussy. No, it's red bull
It's red bull and jaeger. I would do a little beer. No, I mean
I don't I don't like do it all the time. No, it's not one of those things. Have you ever gone sake bombing?
I have not actually sake that was a big high school thing
A lot of kids in my high school like for whatever reason sake places let underage kids drink all the time
But I never went sake bombing sake bombing is awesome though. What do you just rip shots of sake though?
Yeah, like you put it on like chopsticks
And then you just drop it into a beer like a oh, yeah, like a Chinese or a tie
And then you just crush it. Yeah, and then you just crush it. I'm not a big chugger though
That's why I don't like doing like I hear you bombs. Yeah
Frankie sometimes can chug. Yo, it comes out of no like I remember there was one time he like just got back from
college or something and we went to this irish bar over here and
As a joke, he like chugged his beer and I was like, whoa, dude like that was like incredible
Because it dude it was so fast and he was like, he's like, yeah, I was like, yeah
Like how the fuck did you do that?
And then he just grabbed my drink like what was left of it and it was like half a beer
And he literally just threw it down his throat and I was like, whoa, and then
We kept offering beers and he was just
That's what college would do for you. You know, who's the best chugger. I know
Keith
I wouldn't surprise me
kid
Can chug like a motherfucker. It's anything anything battery acid. He would figure it out. All right
I gotta see him chug a beer then. I can't I yo, I'm so I'm I'm like very
Decent at it. I'm not great. I'm okay chugger. I'm not good
If it's a small amount like like flip cup chugging please
I'm amazing at flip when you go ahead. Do you guys ever do like half cup flip cup? Yeah
Yeah, we did like two gulps. We did full cup flip cup one time
And my buddy's fourth of july party. No and shit got fucking weird. Yeah, man
Got weird and I drove home
Good night. Yeah
Not the safest thing in the world. Yes. Yes, it is not. Please do not drink and drive
Yeah, no, I think we I think I'm not gonna. Didn't you say you had an idea?
And if it comes out after this you stole it
That people like would hang around like in new york city and you could text them
To like move your car. Oh, yeah, if you drove there to like take my car home. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, but I don't know
Also would be cool to like have somebody move your car also
I just want to you know, because I'll get in hot water with you here. I also had an experience where I
I drank and drove and I'll never do it again. No because I was it was so
Okay, um
Not the safest thing in the world. Yes, please do not drink and drive. I will say just to get in hot water with you
Thank you. Uh, I I have I've I've had an experience where I drank and drove
Uh, and I'll never do it again. I remember because I was at a bar and I was with uh this girl
And like we hadn't seen each other in a while. It's like an old friend of mine
So we were just like drinking at a bar and I was having mixed drinks. I usually drink beer for the most part. Yeah
But I was having mixed drinks and sometimes there's like a delayed trigger with them
And I drank a couple and I don't trigger like yeah, like you don't feel it until it's like, you know, it's like having an edible
It's like I'm good and all of a sudden you're like, I'm fucking I can't see it's like quailudes from like wolf wall street exactly
Climbing down your stairs. Yeah. No, but um, there was like a delayed trigger on it
so I was like, oh, I'm totally fine and then
I was just like it was in the neighborhood
So I could have just walked home if I got drunk and that's why I drove because I was like it's right here
Like whatever if something happens, I'll just leave
But I felt fine
So I drove her home and then when I was driving myself home
Then it really hit me and I was like, whoa, and I started to get really fucking scared
Yeah, and luckily I thank god I made it home, but I will never fucking do that again. No, man. I mean
That shit is scary the shit the shit is scary like I've driven drunk a few times and it's just like
Please don't do it
Please god, don't do it. It's one especially now
Dude uber exists. Like we didn't have uber growing up
Like uber exists now and you can get any
Exit what I just said execution here it exists
So like you can get anywhere you need yes for $20
For the most part and the people that are on patreon that hear this a week before
St. Pad tricks day because they'll get it a week before right don't fucking drink and drive
Yeah, don't please take a fucking uber. Please take a train. Don't be an asshole
Especially now there's way less of an excuse for that because
Like there was no uber back then and I'm not trying to make excuses for myself for being a fucking idiot
But like you know now it's way easier to be like fuck my car. Yeah
The last thing I care about is like would be my car at that point
Not safe, but you know what is safe
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The patrons, baby the patrons
Um, oh the one thing I wanted to ask you. Mm-hmm. You've been a social media guy for a long time
Okay, you know, you've had um
Your share of content be spread throughout
You've gotten viral
several times
How do you feel about credit being given?
um
Amongst the internet like I see like a lot of stuff like people tell me I should always watermark my stuff
yeah, like
I don't know. How do you feel about about the credit giving like within twitter and instagram and
facebook and and shit like that. Um
Well, man, nine percent beer and you're asking me all these crazy
How much they have sex with me right now
I think $37
Um
What I know nothing you got a memo. Yeah, no, uh, I think
I see here's the thing right? I think that you should credit people
Yeah, I think that it's it's fair and I honestly didn't see it as an issue because I remember back in the day when
I was like heavily into the youtube stuff and like how I built the platform that I have now
Uh, I didn't care and I was very arrogant as a kid and I was like angry
That's why I never collabed with anyone because I was very like I'm gonna do it myself
Like I don't care about like anything or like, you know, whatever. I'm just gonna build this organically
I don't want to work with you. I don't want to whatever talked
I'm not gonna associate myself with these people because I don't want
I even didn't even like speaking to that to anyone who did youtube
Because I didn't want people to be like, oh, you know him. I'm gonna follow you just because you know this person
You know, I was very arrogant like that as a kid. So if so, there had been times where people posted my shit
On their pages that had like millions of people and they never credited me and a part of me
Was like, I don't give a fuck but looking back on it
You do give a fuck because now the world has changed and social media is at a way
bigger
like
It's at a way bigger
Scale than it was back then people make your money off. Yeah, so it's it's a tons of businesses are
Are predicated off their social media. Yeah, so like that especially and mine, of course it is right
so that's huge for me if if a
Company with their facebook page has like 10 million likes and you post one of my videos and you never tell anyone that I made it
Yeah, and they're asking, you know, who is this? Who is this? Who is this?
You have to pray for someone in the comments to be like, oh, it's this guy, you know
And thankfully people are good with that type of shit that like people will like hit me up
Be like, you know, they took your shit, right? And it's like is it really that hard just like I don't I don't get it
How hard is it to put somebody's at on something? I don't know. I honestly don't you know what it is. I think people
want to be
The one-stop shop like the curator of all the good content. That's impossible. Well
It's impossible. Fuck Jerry for instance on on instagram. Yeah
Nomed for being a curator and the fat jewish
Yeah, also a curator, right where it's basically you take other people's content
And you put the best of the best on your page and that's why people follow you
I I I'm honestly not even sure from what I've seen. I think fuck Jerry all like credits people
um, but
They didn't at first, you know, they would just post you that's just fucked up
But I think yeah, it's but it's fucked up now now that we know like what the possibilities are
I'll be mad if like somebody would like
10,000 followers so I could just just put my name in it. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean?
Yeah, and also the thing is too like technically your ip
Yeah, and it and like
Here's my thing
I I'm
Never gonna watermark my shit. No, I here's why I think it's just corny
I think it's corny too. It just you looked stupid took the words right out of my mouth
Like I don't know why oh, you just did and here's why because people love that
People were like drink every time Danny says and here's why you're gonna be a drunk fuck. I'll tell you that and here's why
I also
Another thing you say all the time on the show is let me ask you one question and we're like 50 minutes in
I was like, yeah, you've been asking me questions this entire time
It's so weird how like people have like things they they'll constantly say I wonder what mine are
Here's the thing maybe that's you no, no, I say in here's why you say in here's here's the thing
I do a couple here's here's why is a huge one. Yeah. Yeah
Now we were talking to just like people like stealing stuff on the internet
I would never feel comfortable like even if I post something and I don't know where it comes from
I'll be like, you know, tell me who made this
Yeah
If I legitimately don't know then like I'm not gonna like kill myself over over it
No, but if someone hits me up like, yo, that's me then I'll definitely put it in there
But like if I know who it is
And like yo my my youtube videos
Like there's been companies that have posted it and like they don't post but like you have to know
Who posted that because there's only one place to get it right, you know, yeah
I just think of how it's kind of fucked up though
how
Easy like not how easy it is to steal shit, but it's like people
People work hard on like the shit they put out. Yeah, like even if it's a fucking 30 second video like they put it out
Like they should get their credit there
I agree. I mean and especially because like, you know back in the day
Like a lot of things have shifted over the past like even
Six years, right? Yeah, let's just say I think I've been doing youtube since like 2012. So was that like seven years?
So seven years when I first started that's crazy. Yeah when I first started doing it
There was no company set up to manage you. There was no social media jobs. Yeah
Uh companies didn't believe in having social media
There was a lot of companies that didn't have social media
And they had to buy their handles from random people who would just buy them right so they could sell them
So like wait like how like people like get websites. Yeah, like domain names. Yeah, of course
And like and that just happened with instagram too like a lot of companies had to buy their shit from instagram as well
Wait, wait, wait, they had to pay instagram. No, no not instagram. So like let's say you right right in in 2012
You were like, oh, okay instagram
I don't even know when instagram came out. I think it was like like 2011
I think yeah, but I think it didn't start getting popular until like 2013 ish
Yeah, so I was like so in 2013 you're like, all right, cool. I'm gonna buy
at pepsi at coca-cola at soda at jeff at mike at this at that and like
Having just those because then people will pay for them. Yeah, I've paid four handles before really. Yeah, I paid for a veteran's minimum
How much how much does that feel I mean I paid a hundred dollars? Oh
Yeah, no, no, but it was like because we had because someone had it but they were they had like
100 followers or whatever. So I was like, I would rather have this for this page
So I I DM them and I was like, y'all I'll give you 100 bucks for it. That's cool. And he's like, all right
So I just took it. Yeah. No. Yeah
But they do you think people should be able to pay to get verified?
No
weren't they doing that don't people do that no
It's always like some dude spamming in the comments. I try to delete them when they post in my shit
It'd be like, yo, here's 500 bucks. It's a verified badge. You get like 400 000 followers
I'm like, I try to delete them as much as possible. Yeah, no, it's stupid
But like the only way you can get you used to be able to get verified used to be sorry
You used to be able to submit a form
So that and that twitter would vet through and be like, okay
If this legitimately because the whole point of a verification page wasn't like you're officially cool
It was to separate like, you know, this is actually
Jennifer Lopez. This isn't like a fake catfish one, you know, so they give him a give her a badge
And that was the only reason why they existed and then it became this thing of like, you know, if you're cool enough
You get one. Yeah, I want to get verified so bad. Yeah, I know it's it's one of those
No, but I know because that's that's what it has become
But now it's just kind of like you can have a thousand followers and if your agent works at
Uh, wme or fucking wherever
Yeah, like you could just get it. I wish I knew somebody that was at wme. Yeah
Um, I don't work at wme. I hear you. Uh, but uh, yeah, that's that's how that happens
Do you think would you ever go to like one of these panels?
Which ones like ones that are like wanted you to do like a seminar like a social media seminar
Would you ever go out to like a panel?
Have you and have you ever done that? No, I've never done it. I've never done a panel before
Uh, what's this talk about? What just talk about like your
For lack of better term journey
Or or your your work your work process. I don't mind doing it. I haven't done it
But I also
It would really depend what it is. Like it would have to like
Yeah
It would have to be a look
You know, I wouldn't do it just for like
Tell your story. Like I really don't care about that part. Like I do that here
So I don't need to go on a panel to do that. Yeah, uh, but if it was to talk about
uh, how to
If I if I was able to offer marketing advice for small businesses or or
any sort of guidance or
You know, sort of be an advisor in a way on a panel then I would yeah
I would be interested in doing that because I do think there's a lot of things that
I've learned over the years from doing this and working at companies that
Do this sort of thing that I have a lot to offer to small businesses as far as
You know, how to grow your social media or how to market your product or whatever
But I wouldn't go there just to be like, yeah, so when I was 12, I had this camera my mom bore from
And tell that whole story again. Like I'm not really interested in that. Would you ever become a motivational speaker? No
Do you think you could be successful at it? Yeah
I just feel like motivational speakers
Or like you have to be 100 and you can't be like a part-time motivational speaker
motivational speakers
Like so I'm going to use that term
This is no disrespect to actual motivational speakers because I do find
Motivation I find motivation and a ton of things
Like people who are actually successful are motivation enough for me
You don't even need to be a motivational speaker. Like I've watched every single inside the actor studio every actor
I don't even want to be an actor like I really I don't but I've watched every single success story
Is that work progress to success? Yeah, I want to know I want I because I want to know
The journey and like the signs, you know what I mean? Because if I know Johnny Depp's story
Like I'm not trying to be Johnny Depp, but if I know this dude lived here
Moved here with nothing in his pocket worked these jobs for this amount of years used to be in a band like this
like all bunch of shit did a thousand
auditions nothing worked out
And this and that and then now he's Johnny Depp. It's like 40 million a fucking movie. That's what I'm saying
So now it's so that sort of thing is inspiring to me because under the back of my mind
I can't forget things like that. We're sort of like if things start going bad. It's like
Things go bad, you know, and it doesn't work out and it didn't work out for Johnny Depp
Look at Johnny Depp. He's chill. You know, so it's like it's just little things like that
I've watched all of them. So it's like that but like these motivational speakers that exist on instagram
They drive me nuts
Yeah, because a lot of it is just based off of nothing and it's like you want to be a motivational speaker just for the sake of
You know, this works, right, which is but I think it's productive
But I think it's kind of for like the ground level people
It's like entry level people like people that are successful. Do they watch like other successful speakers?
See, that's the thing. I don't think super successful people
Listen to motivational speakers because I think that it's sort of
um
Second nature to them at this point like for me when I hear motivational speakers
I really do think it's just like a formula and once you have it you have it and then everything else seemed
It's just validating for you. Like when I hear motivational speakers and they say a lot of things
Like for instance, like gary v on instagram when he says like a lot of shit
he does all these posts like
Part of it is validating to me
But then part of it he gets annoying to me because it's like I know man like I get it
I know this part and it's so obvious to me
because I
I think I have this formula already, you know of like yo just it's very simple and it's like
I don't even like saying it because it comes off as arrogant and like you make it sound so easy to be successful
You know, no, I'm just saying no because like it's really just a decision of being like
I'm just gonna fucking do it like and that's it and like
And it has nothing to do with the amount of time that it takes. It's like I'm just going to do it
Right and then like what can someone say to you nothing exactly
So I even think of like even even if you just try something like really legitimately try something that's not failing to me
Well, you never stop trying. That's what I'm saying. It's like yo, there is no stopping like if you
Listen, all right. Here's what it's gonna get motivational now, but like here's what I'll say
Tons of people go through their entire lives, right?
And lives lives when I say lives. It's all right 9%
Beer was 9% it's really getting me. No, so you
A lot of people go through their entire life
Let's say 85 years
Not knowing ever what they want to do for a living or what they truly love doing
If you figure that if you are so fortunate to figure that out
Just do that
And you'll get paid for it eventually because people get paid to make
Everything like people get paid to someone made that shirt and they bought the buttons the material
The pattern the fucking the the ink for this shit
Like and there's company set up for everyone and patent set up for everyone that made all of those things
You know what I mean? Like you can get paid for everything
So it's like if you figure out what you want to do you just to do that and I and when when I say that
I know it sounds like it just like oh, I just fucking do it like all right cool, whatever but
With that comes a bunch of little stipulations of being like
If you are in school or if you have a job like obviously you need money to survive
I'm not saying right quit your job and put your main focus this but
If you work a nine to five job take class at night you still have five to one a.m
Yeah to work. Yes and still get
Seven hours of sleep. Well, that's why like I would always feel weird like when I was going to college for like 45 minutes
Like I would see like people with children like
Going to college. Yeah, and I was like, yeah, like even my mom did it like my mom went back
My mom too went back and got a degree. I'm like, yeah like
There's really no excuse to not try to at least try to do something right like I see these motherfuckers like
People come here from other countries and they get like 11 degrees
I'm like, you know, I'm over here like eating fucking hot pockets and like cheese doodles
I'm like, I could have read a book today. I could have tried to do something
but like
I think it's that initial step. I think once you take that initial step
Like like you said like I'm just gonna do this. That's the biggest part. Yeah, it's it's literally it's it's like
But but that that part is the hard part, right? It's the hardest. It's terrifying
So some people it's one of those things where it's like the formula is so simple
But so hard at the same time because all the formula is to me is just making a decision
but the hard part is having the
Mental toughness to do it. Yeah, you know, because I have the mental toughness only sometimes
Right to be like this is getting done and then when it gets done everything ends up working out
But I don't have that all the time
But the mental toughness is the hardest part a lot of people aren't mentally
Tough enough right to
Complete what the formula is because everyone knows it now and all it is is like just do like no one's more
Special than anyone else, right? You know what I mean?
Unless you're playing in the NBA and you're 610 and can dunk and like whatever
Whatever but like some god-given stuff
But dude, you can you can be a doctor you can be a lawyer
You can do whatever like one of my friends is being is starting to be a lawyer
And he got kicked out of his original college right because the gpa gpa was so low
And then he went to another college and he graduated with like honors now
He's in law school right and he's gonna be a lawyer and he's gonna make six figures one day
It's like you if people can do shit like that
Any you're no special than anyone else and also another thing is that it's never too late to do anything
Oh, you know, I got kids I got this you know what you have is excuses that you're making they're making up for yourself
Right, you know what I mean? Like you can do whatever the hell you want and I'm not saying I'm someone here who's like
Oh, I've got the world in my hands and I could do whatever I want
Like I am fully aware of what it takes to get shit done
And sometimes I just don't have the mental toughness to do it and I get lazy and I sit on that couch and like
Time just goes by but on days where I'm like fucking in it. There's so much shit that gets done
Or like I have a really good month and it's just like
Then you could just like you know what I mean it's gratifying to yeah, of course
And it's it's it's also
Validating to know that it just works
Like if you get what you put in but that takes a lot of time and you have to be very real yourself
Like I'm very real myself
And that's why I've always told people like I don't consider myself a hard worker because there are people out there who work
18 hours a day at their craft and I just don't fucking do that because I like to enjoy myself
You know, but if I took the time and really spent all of my time possible into my craft like
Everything I'd be doing would be on a much higher scale and I you know, you'd be such a monster though
God such a monster. I would hate to work for that guy
My phone would be fucking ringing at two three in the morning
But that's the thing like I like having a good time and I like being like laid back also
But I do like getting worked on as well. So it's just like
Finding a good balance and sometimes one over takes the other. Yeah. No, no, no, I I agree with all that
except for
The fact that
How'd you state it? I think you have that mental toughness all the time. I just think you choose when to apply it
Right, but that's but it's not that you don't have that character trait like you could work 18 hours. I've seen you do it
Yeah, but I don't want to sometimes I don't want to do it
But sometimes but is that like not is that mental toughness or you're just being like I just don't want to do that for 18 hours
Um, I think that's mental toughness because it's
It's the same thing like I compared to because now I'm you know, I'm training for the marathon like
With running it's the same thing like just because I can run 10 miles doesn't mean that you I can run 10 miles every day
That takes a different level of mental toughness of being able to do on a consistent basis like I have the ability
Which I I have, you know, if you've listened to this podcast for years
You know that I've talked about myself in a way of being like I'll do whatever the fuck I want
Yeah, I can do anything that's dope though. No, but like I really believe that like I can get anything done
It's all about how long it will take me and how much time I'm willing to
Dedicate to it because I'm really not ready to sacrifice
my
downtime
For a lot like a lot like all of my downtime for something like I really like to enjoy myself
I like going out. I like relaxing with my friends. I love that shit and I find that
Being like more important than anything else to be quite frank. Yeah, but you know, I also
building things
Yeah, but if you're one of those people that like doesn't like have like human connection or interaction
You're just a fucking weird. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, it turns you into a machine which I'm afraid of
Yeah, like fucking like mark zuckerberg
Like listen that guy talk. I'm like weird. I'm like is this guy like ever had a friend. Yeah, I don't want to get a beer
No, no
That's what I want to be ultimately
I want to be like a successful person that people like this guy's great. I want to get a beer at this guy
That's what I'm saying like if someone was like, you know, you want to go hang out with mark zuckerberg and be like, no
So like is he gonna like give me a car? Yeah
Like you're just gonna stare holes through me like a robot. I was like, I don't want to do that
Yeah, because I think that type of shit could turn you into a robot. Yeah, but like just to bring this back full circle like
that ultimately which is the quote unquote formula that i'm referring to is just
Making a decision of like i'm going to do this and then you have to apply that with some sort of mental toughness of being like
I am willing and and like
This is something that I had to look back on and realize that I was doing
I didn't care about anything else in my life besides knowing how to edit with iMovie
Shooting these videos thinking of concepts and like whatever like I completely wanted to change the way that people
Associated my name like when you heard my name you had to think of
This kid that made youtube videos and not anything else that you've heard before
Yeah, you know, so it was it was about that and I didn't even realize I was doing it like I would say up until 4 a.m
Trying to figure out how to do certain things with iMovie and photoshop and
You know just watching videos and like studying in a way and watching all these interviews of successful people
Because I just wanted it like I didn't wasn't doing it because someone told me to do it
Or because I listened to some motivational speaker tell me to do it
I just wanted it really fucking bad and I decided like this is what i'm going to do
I'm not going to go to college and I don't want to be a fucking loser either
So i'm just going to do this shit
24 7 you know
Yeah, and but it didn't feel like work because it was just all I wanted to do
It like I really found something that I wanted when you find that you do that
Yeah, you can't let that go and I would say that people that are on that like if you're listening now and you're kind of like on that
Teeter
Like that spot where you're at like if you're not ready to jump. What's the worst thing that happens?
Nothing dude people survive all the time people go to harvard. They come back and they work in a pizzeria
I've seen it happen. I know people who are firemen that work at at harvard and i'm you know
I respect the fdny like you would not believe my father was a fireman whatever
But that is not a job you're supposed to get when you go to harvard
Yeah, and another thing is too is like i'll see people go to school for fucking eight years
They'll come back and be real estate agents. You could do that shit when you're 18 exactly
And like do something at least do something you like. Yeah, and that's a that's a very big possibility
Especially in in this day and age. Yeah. Yeah
Am I making sense? Yeah, you are I love motivational joe
I think you go off on tangents and I don't know if I don't know
But I think motivational joe means to come out on this show sometimes because listen like
The thing I wanted to say is like you're saying like you work till 4am and like a lot of people see the finished product
Right like they see like the shit that makes them laugh or the shit that like people don't see like the shit that goes into it
It's like
Like you sacrifice friendships for this shit you sacrifice
Relationships for this shit time with your family like you do sacrifice shit like that
So like in the beginning when you were doing that till 4am
You were so focused on what you were doing
But like now that you've worked so hard it's good that you've kind of come full circle with it
And it's like I want to spend more time like with my friends and with my family and shit
But like still have that drive to be successful. You know, did that make any sense? Yeah
That's the thing it's like it's about finding that balance because like
I can't
I really do feel like I can't survive without these people like I've known my friends my whole life
And I was very close to my family. So it's like
You I sacrifice time with them and then I do
uh, I work a lot and then
you know
Eventually you get to the point where it's like, oh god like I hate myself and then you're like
I want to go back to being close to them, you know, and that's kind of like what happened with last year
But you know, and another thing is like a lot of people they're like, oh, it's just podcasts
It's just youtube videos. Like it's not like a whole lot of work or whatever, but
You know, and I'm not gonna sit here and defend myself and be like, oh, it is a lot of work
And is it it but it is it like there's a lot that goes into it
There's a lot of like whatever and also it may not be like manual labor, but it's a lot of uh
It's draining mentally I'll tell you this it's just it's just as draining
Yeah, it's pretty draining because like even like when you're doing a show or you're making a funny video
You got to bring that shit. Yeah, I will say that doesn't go up. I will say
Suck my fat penis
I will say my big ass did this show doesn't do that to me anymore though
No, that's probably because i'm here though now
Maybe yeah got him say it because
Because
I don't know. I don't know what I think that especially took it right back in the last year
No in the last year. I think that I've kind of
uh
Cared less about
If it works and if it more than I think there was a point where I cared more about
Making it work
Then I cared about it being funny to everybody right and now I care more about it just being funny
And then I don't give a shit damn who started working here like a year ago. I don't know some guy brown dude great ass
I
Dark nips dark nips. I do have dark nips. Do you yeah, dude? I'm fucking have Puerto Rican bro. I got dark nips
I'll rip him out. I'm on the patreon.com slash the base of your art. Oh, damn
I will show people my nips
Wow, yeah, if that's if you didn't have enough like fucking shit to go there already at least there's nip now
There's gonna be nips and I'm willing to do it. I'll sign whatever form I have to oh
Yeah, I got one in the back too. Yeah, that's fine. You think I don't have nipple forms. No, I know you got waiver nips
I have way too many nipple forms real quick
Where are we going now? No, no, no, no. We got an inspirational now. I need some other stuff from you. Okay. All right
Blind scenario
You need a couple out so you're out at a bar, right? I'm liking this. All right. You're at a bar
St. Patrick's Day
You need a couple right they're banging. No, no, no, no, they're not banging. They're hanging. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they're banging hot
They're banging hot everyone people say yo, that's flavors
Everyone people you say that never heard that you'd be like, yo, that's flavors never heard that. Oh, that's old-school. Shit
We never did flavor. No, you never did flavors. All right, but um, that's fat though. That's that ph ph
ph at
Little kim. Oh, she's fat. She's fat with ph
Fat farm. Remember they made a whole fucking thing. Hell. Yeah, every thought had fat farm. Yeah, or the baby
BB BB. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what it is. They always had that like
On the asshole be dazzled on their ass crack. Yeah. Yeah. I love that
I'm like juicy
Juicy was all over butt cheeks juicy was all over butt cheeks and I was about it about it
Because they were all pink and then they had like the black trim down the side
Showing those booties grabbing a butt. Okay. Yeah. Yes. All right. So say you're out St. Patrick's Day
But you're by yourself you lose all your friends. There's a couple there, right? Yes, and they're like
Hey, y'all, we're just digging your vibe. Like, hey, you want to come back to our house? Yeah
And then they want to fuck hell. Yeah, they want you to be a part of it. Right. Are you in on it?
Do I got to do like gay shit only got to do the girl?
Yeah, I do it. You do it. Yeah, probably
And they wanted to film it
No, I'm not down
You wouldn't you wouldn't let someone film you have sex with their wife. Yeah, I think I would yo
I should be kind of hot
No, I don't know what these motherfuckers are doing. That's a mysterious fuck. Yeah, but I don't know what these motherfuckers are doing
Is there something that's um
Arousing about a mysterious fuck
Like something what is a mysterious fuck meeting a couple and them inviting you back to their house one night stand?
Yeah, he's like, I want you to fuck my wife with me. Yeah
so
So hold on I have a story for you think about how much of a freak you have to be to meet a stranger
And be like I want you to fuck my wife. Yeah with me. Yeah
We depend on how hot the dude is
Great-looking guy because like the girl you you know, you whatever it's a girl. You ever see uh, eat your salad
Then looks like that. Oh, what's that? I mean, whatever. Yeah, whatever learn a thing or two. Yeah, I would do it
Yeah, I'd be like does your wife have to come? Yeah
Is your wife gonna be like even satisfied by any of this? No, does your wife even have to be there?
Can it just be us hanging out? Yeah, I just want to like drink a beer with you
Like watch you DJ. I love you
No, but you won't hear a funny story actually didn't happen to me, but it happened to Frankie
so
When we were in college
Well, he I was in my college age. I wasn't in college, but
When we were in college
Me and Frankie would go to karaoke bars all the time
And his sister ran the karaoke for this one bar. Okay, and we would go to it all the time control that mic
Right. Yeah, and you know Frankie is a performer
So he would do a bunch of songs by himself when we do songs together and like whatever
and I remember he did a song once and then
This guy comes up to him and he goes, hey man, that was really good, man
And he's like thanks. I appreciate it. Whatever. He's like, yeah, you want a beer?
And he's like, all right
So the guy buys him a beer and he's like, hey, thanks man. See whatever
Goes back to the seat. He's talking with whoever and then uh
Later on in the night Frankie does a couple other songs and then
You know, whatever Frankie's at the bar. This guy that comes out to me. He goes, hey man, uh
Can I talk to you for a second? He's like, yeah, what's going on?
He's like, you see my wife over there. He's like, yeah, how are you doing? Whatever. He's like
You think she's hot and he's like, what? He's like, you think my wife's hot and he goes
Yeah, she's a good looking woman. He goes, you want to have sex with her?
Shut the fuck up and Frankie's like, what? The guy's like, yeah, you want to have sex with her?
And he's like, uh
It's like, yeah, we're you know, we're into that sort of thing like whatever blah blah blah
And Frankie is just like, uh, you know, I'll give back to you on that
Right, so he goes back to the table and starts having like a pow wow being like, you know, what do I do in the situation?
and uh, what he comes up with is like
Our friend who uh, my friend Dominic
He's like, yo, if you come with me, then I'll go right just like keep an eye on me
Yeah, just so this guy doesn't chop me up put me in a bag and then feed me to his pig
um
He so Dominic's like, yeah, fuck it. I'll go with you like whatever
so
He goes back to the guy and the guy's like
And he's like, hey, is it cool if my buddy comes just like, you know, whatever and the guy's like, yeah
No, that's cool. Like whatever blah blah blah
so Frank's like, all right, and then
Like it was about to go down and then all of a sudden the guy's like, oh by the way, you guys are into like gay shit, right?
Oh
No, and the Frank was like
No, man. I'm not really like into that. Like, you know, whatever he wanted both ways
He wanted to suck and fuck. It kind of got crushed there. Damn. Yeah, they always open. Well, that's a good salesman though
Yeah, he's got him. Yeah, open with the vagina and you close with the dick. I did appreciate
I did appreciate how he uh, you know, actually put it out there
Because it'd be one thing to start surprising people being like, oh, is that a penis that you just put on my in my hands?
Yeah, don't start eating somebody's ass. I don't know where that's all got to be like disgust right
So it almost happened though. That's pretty fucking cool. That that's a story just to be like you did
Yeah, you know and like have people know it
Right and no one can deny it. Right
It's very interesting. You should have sucked that guy's dick
No, I should
I mean, I didn't I wasn't there that night. So I don't I don't know but I don't understand why like
Like would you would you want to film yourself having sex?
For what just just to have it. I mean, I've done it
But like it's not like a thing that I have to do
No, but like I feel like people like are really into like filming themselves. Yeah, some people are
I wouldn't want to see me having sex. I think
You know when like like Godzilla's knocking over buildings
That's what I feel like it was good. God. Is that me?
God
It's like I don't look nearly it's like kind of like when you hear your voice for the first time on like recording
Yeah, I sound like that
It's like, you know, that's what my hips look like
I'm thrusting like that. I thought this was way better
Yeah, looking in the mirror while you're fucking those kind of fucking fire
Do you ever I was just about to say something I was about to say something
But I'm gonna save it for after the show because it's a little too much, but I'll tell you
All right, cool. Um, but it involved a mirror and and like seeing myself and then like I just I was like
but um
Yeah, I some people I guess find it thrilling to be like, oh, there's a camera
Adding some layer of excitement to it. Yeah, I guess there's I don't really see it as being like whoa
Exciting. Yeah, like people are like that though. Like I wouldn't want to watch myself. Well, what are you doing taking fucking notes?
Like with a notepad like studying your stroke good for you
But like I don't know just always seemed a little
I'm just good with sex. Yeah, I'll just want I just I'll have your vagina
I'll film I'm good with all the beaches and hedges and zee's and beaches. Do you ever get ass on st. Patrick's day?
Uh, I don't think so. I don't think I've ever gotten ass on a pad these days. I mean either hard to get ass
What are you gonna do have sex in a disgusting bathroom? I'm also one of those people that if I get really drunk my dicks just like
Good luck. Yeah, my dick's not a dick. Yeah. Yeah, he's just like dude. We're a vagina tonight. Yeah, all right
So I can't I'm not with you. Did you have any shrinkage down there in Miami?
What? I saw you guys had the hot tub in there. Yeah, why are you saying when my dick shrink? Yeah for what?
I'm just saying you're just your penis in general
Why are you asking me?
Did my dick shrink in Miami? Yes, I don't why would it because you were in water
Oh, yeah, probably that's what I'm saying. Oh, I wasn't like keeping tabs on it
No, I'm just wondering if you got caught with any shrinkage out there. I mean, I went to the beach
Yeah, you got some shrinkage. Yeah, you come out of the water your dick goes. Yo wait, hold on. I'm freezing, man
Isn't it so weird?
It's like your your dick hides
Yes, we're and your balls are just like
Oh
Yeah, why do your balls get so stiff right on nuts, man, you know drill looks like a brain. Yeah, dude
I really really really
Really need to fix my downstairs area
Right now I'm gonna come out and say it my pubes
Big problem on fire Kingsley on fire
Like when you move like in your your your waistband catches it, you're like, I'm doing this I could feel individual hairs
Just doing this just shaking my legs like a child
That's in his chair. That's too big for him. So that's what I'm gonna do tomorrow too. I'm gonna clean that out, man
How often do you manscape?
I don't know
I really don't know
I would say maybe once every like two and a half weeks
Oh, dude, I don't yeah, it's been a couple of months, dude. What yeah, I haven't whacked in a while
Well, I've whacked but like not yeah, you've not not like like weed whacked right. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, you got to get
I want to know what it is. It's about having like I need some tools
I get it like I I usually do it like around the same time I get my hair cut just be like, oh my whole body's cool
Fresh and everything up. Yeah, fresh head fresh dick. Yes. Fuck
How far under your balls do you go not that far I go far, dude
I'll hold my balls up and step up on like the the bathtub captain Morgan captain Morgan and get like most of my gooch
Nice. Yeah. Yeah, I don't go like crazy with it. You don't shave your gooch
I mean, I buzz it you buzz it. I shave it like you shave it like a razor. Yeah, razor my gooch and my balls, bro
We'll be easy on it. No. Yeah. I am I am I am I've nicked my nuts
Yeah, if you ever nicked your nut, it's like, ah, yeah split second and then you're like, oh man, there was actually a time where I was
Manscaping because I was preparing for some coitus coitus with a lovely woman and I nicked my ween
Your actual ween. Yeah, and then I was like, well, that's not happening anymore
You had a couple stragglers up the shaft had to get rid of them. Yeah, and I tried and I cut my penis
So I was like, I'm not having sex now. No, you should just put the condom on and just went from there
Yeah, but I was still afraid. I hear you. I'm a hypochondriac. I would just yeah, you do you do have an open wound on your penis
Probably not the smartest thing to do. Probably. Yeah. Well, what are you gonna do? You're playing with
A lot of fire at that point sexual fire sexual fire
This girl's on fire
All right before we wrap up the show here, let's get some shout outs from the patrons
patron love patron love
All we do is love patrons. All right. We got austin kill gore. Austin kill gore. That's a fucking cool
Yeah, that dude is definitely related someone from lord of the ranks. Zachary seeding Zachary seeding siden siden
Put that seed in somebody. Uh, checo checo. Whoever that is one name. One name. That's awesome
Russian Croatian MMA fighter
Caleb severance Caleb severance shout out to Caleb shout lucas hamilton leah morn
Robert madigan. Whoo Julia Torres. Hell. Yeah, jesse wiggin. Whoo wiggins. Chelsea heal
Nope. Chelsea hill. Chelsea hill
Lexi steer lexie steer porn star. That is a porn star kim strong also a porn star very very poor. Which one's better?
I'm gonna go strong. I'm gonna go with strong. Yeah, sarah morse. That's a principle
Uh
Chiara montana porn star. Yeah, Eric zang
Asian porn star
Uh, hidey mcdaniel
Real estate agent, I would say tennis player matt arnold just a right white guy christopher bickford rich white guy jacob mankey
Weird kid in like third grade. Had a rough growing up with that last name. Yeah, uh, jason fallows
Can't get a read on to be honest with you. Yeah. Yeah, Thanos kaya gray back to porn star
Uh charise ready. Come on. She's ready. She's ready. Uh, matthew irani
I don't know me neither hard read. Oh that girl was technically born ready
Wow, that's fire mind blown. Uh, logan peterson logan peterson. Good fighter. Good fighter
Uh christian herne lacrosse player. Yeah bag off. Uh, joe herrera. Obviously that's a mechanic nicole and gopes
I don't even know gopro. I don't know. Uh, nicole faranti
Neighborhood gal. Yeah, she loves that hearty janeva driger
Geneva is kind of a hot name. Yeah
Maybe and is it janeva or jenevieve? No, it's janeva. It's janeva. Yeah, and then zack
janeva's a font
janeva's a font and zack is probably jewish because the name is zack. Yeah, or just you know, just zack or just zack
Yeah, you know, he's got spiky here. Yeah
All right
Anyway, that is all uh for this week's uh episode of the baseman yard
Thank you to all the patreons again
If you want to be a patron you get a shout out if you're at a certain tier and you get a personal video shout out for me
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You guys can follow the show at the baseman yard. Go follow me on social media at joe santa gato and that is all
See you guys next time