The Basement Yard - #185 - You Ever Taste Your Own Pee?

Episode Date: April 15, 2019

On this episode, Danny & Joe talk about wether they've tried their own bodily fluids. ALL of them. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Check. Uh-huh. Well, that was quick. All right, cool. Mike's are good. Welcome back to the basement yard. That was rare. Everyone.

What? One check? Yeah. Yeah. All I need is one mic. That's Old Nas. That was a good song. That was a great song.

It was kind of like, I couldn't relate to it at all. Because it was like about like really hard stuff and I was just like, the pen part I could relate to. What? Having a pen? Yeah. When have you felt that way? You've never had a feeling where you're like, oh man, I need a pen.

Does anyone have a pen? All I need is one pen. You took Nas's song and you formed it into, oh man, hey, do you got a pen I could borrow? Hey man, life imitates art. Who borrows pens? Usually it's pencils you need to borrow. People got pens. People don't have pencils.

Uh, I'm going to disagree with you there. I feel like more people have pens now than they do pencils. That's exactly what I just said. Wait, wait, wait. You have pens. You need pencils. No, no, no. Like I'm saying, I think more people would be in desire for a pen.

Like you can't sign a document with a pencil dog. No, I know that. But you don't need a pen. You have pens because pens are more useful. Okay. But when you're taking a math test, you need to use a pencil. Yeah, but that's a test. I'm talking about like.

I'm not talking about adults dog. We don't need a fucking pencil. Alright, alright. I haven't erased shit in years. I feel you cuz. When was the last time you erased something? Um. You haven't used an eraser in years.

I guarantee it. When was the last time you were erased something? Maybe maybe 15 years ago. So I'm saying no one erases anymore. We could just backspace shit. Or we just pen. We cross it out. But I can't.

I haven't erased. And I can't tell you how long. And I used to. I used to love erasers. Get the ones that look like cars. Like cars. You never had that? Like you know book fairs and shit.

Yes, book fairs were great. But I never had money to buy any of the posters. Posters. They would sell posters. And books. And bookmarks. And pencils. I never bought a book at a book fair.

How? The Scholastic Book Fair. Scholastic Book Fair fucking. Robbery. That fucking thing. Oh, I was gonna say. You're about to get mad angry. No, no, no.

Cuz every time I would go there and be like, yo, this is mad expensive. Like I can't get this book. I wanted it. That was the only time I ever wanted to buy books. I was never gonna read those books. Nah, hell no. You just wanted to be like,

I'm not poor. What's up? I bought stuff. 100%. That was it. No, I was poor. You got kids. I got six books.

I'm over here with a fucking bookmark. Yeah. It's crazy. Ends up like in the garbage like a day later. Yeah. I used to get money from my mom. She would give me like $4. And then I would just go ham on erasers.

Yeah. Erasers were dope. They were awesome. Remember like the pink little brick ones? Hell yeah. And wasn't there like a two tone one? Yeah. It was like gray and pink.

Yeah. Why was it gray though? I don't know. It reminded me of that ice cream. You ate gray ice cream? No, no, no. You know the ice cream that's like pink, white, and Neapolitan? Neapolitan.

Neapolitan. Yeah. You'll never eat the strawberry garbage. No, strawberry was garbage. Yo, Neapolitan, strawberry was the worst. Yeah. Vanilla was the best. Chocolate was the second best.

Yeah, but you couldn't just eat vanilla alone. No, no, no. You dug in between those lines. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yo, literally. I used to get so mad when I would see chocolate in the vanilla though. No, because it's like whatever.

Those can mix. If I got some pink in my white, I'd be fucking pissed. Also because the strawberry was chunky. Yeah. You would get those frozen bits of strawberry. Ew. I hated those. Blend this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's disgusting. No. Strawberry ice cream is gross. What do you have mostly growing up? Turkey Hill, Briars? Oh, that's a great question. Honestly, the real answer is whatever was on sale.

Yeah, it depends how good my parents are doing at the time. Briars was probably splurging. Haagen-Dazs was splurging. Haagen-Dazs. I still don't buy Haagen-Dazs because that shit is expensive. It's $8.99 for four bars. For the fucking, you know, Haagen-Dazs sells those little urine samples and they're like $10.

I know. They're so good though. I know. What's your favorite Haagen-Dazs like actual ice cream? I honestly haven't had a whole lot of Haagen-Dazs in my life. Let me ask you this. When you have a chocolate covered shell, like, but it's vanilla inside like Haagen-Dazs, you know what I mean?

Do they come in the bars? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you eat the top or the sides or the bottom first? Or do you just lick that chocolate? Ew, who the fuck licks those ice cream? I know liquors. I know liquors. They lick hard chocolate?

Yeah. Fucking idiots. But like they like suck that there. Whoa, that was illicit. Your neck is at a move. I'm just going to say now it's recorded. People can see it. Practice.

Saw that? All right. No, but yeah, I didn't lick that. I would bite the first time. Now I wouldn't bite like directly on top, but I bite like like a little 45 degree bite on top, but then I usually go sides. The worst is when you get a big ass bite and way too much of the chocolate would come off. Just chip off.

Yeah. That's like Klondike bars. Klondike bars are fucking bullshit too because it's like you bite it and all of a sudden this becomes a flying saucers. What is that? Oh, is that the cookie? The cookie and it has like the swirl vanilla in it. The shirt is fire dude.

Fuck it. Side lick the shit out of those. Oh my God. That's like licking a vagina. Hell yeah. That taught me everything really. I mean, yeah. I guess so.

Yeah. Very sexual food ice cream. Yeah. You know what else is a sexual food that reminds me of vaginas? Macaroons. You ever turn to macaroons sideways? You're like, that's a pussy right there. Yeah, it is.

You know? It actually has like the same like dimensions too. What? Like. Macaroons are like this big dude. No, no, no, no, no. Not like that, but like. What are you fucking like?

Fairies? Like pixie fucking? Like pixie vaginas? No, but it like actually really legitimately looks like a pussy. Yeah, it does. Right? Yeah. I agree with you.

I don't really like macaroons. I don't think macaroons are great. No, big vagina guy though. Big vagina guy, big cannoli guy. Ooh, big cannoli guy. Chocolate cannoli. Yeah. Whatever cannoli.

You like vanilla cannolis over chocolate cannolis though? What? No, it's usually like the vanilla with the chocolate chips in it. No, I just get the chocolate filling cannoli though. Yeah, the chocolate is good too, but the vanilla is a classic. Yeah. And you know, you ever see. I'm not going to shy away from a vanilla cannoli.

I'm just saying I prefer chocolate one. That's fine. That's fine. But like, you ever go to like Costco or BJ's and they have like a big fucking tray and it's like all cannoli like chips or whatever and then just a big pool of the white shit that you could just dip into. No. You've never seen this?

No. Dude. Sounds a little gross to be honest. It's like cannoli. Yeah. But everyone's dipping in there. Yeah. You scoop.

Yeah. You're not spitting in it. The fuck? It's like eating chips. How big is this cauldron of fucking cannoli soup? It's pretty big. It takes up, I would say, like 30% of the package. Really?

Yeah. It's a big dip. It's a big dip. Because you need a lot of fucking sauce. Yeah. Whatever that is. What is that? I don't know what it is.

Cream? Cream. It would have to be cream. Yeah. How did we get here? I have no idea. I have no idea. What was the original point to this?

I don't know. We were talking about foods or something. I don't know. I don't know. Have you ever messed with, like, your friend's food growing up, like, put something in their food? I did once. You did?

So I didn't put anything in their food. I think that shit's, like, fucked up. It's very fucked. Yeah. It's bad. And I learned the hard way. This, I didn't seem, I didn't think it was a big deal because I didn't, like, put a cricket in his fucking, you know, whatever, you know, like, that's disgusting.

I rub his pizza on my dick or something, you know. I also think he would have noticed if I did that. But anyway, there was a time where in middle school, there was a vending machine that had these, like, fruity drinks in them. Okay. It was mad, like, ghetto, like, I don't know what the fuck it was. It just said, like, apple on it. It was just, like, apple juice or some shit.

But it was in a can, so you couldn't see what was in it. So I, like, drank this apple thing that, like, was the one that everyone wanted, you know. So I finished mine and then I put chocolate milk in there. And you know, listen, chocolate milk? Amazing, especially out of those fucking paper cartridges things that you can never fucking open correctly. Yeah. I hate those things.

I'm trying to do fucking origami while opening this fucking thing. It's like, why won't this come out? Fucking scratching the shit out of the corner in there. I hated that shit. Why do I gotta fucking, I gotta fold it? Oh, you remember those things? Yeah, hell yeah. Well, let me tell you your future.

Mmm. Green. You're fucking stupid. Yeah. They're always mean. They were never like... You're really hot and gonna be successful. They're always like, you're fucking ugly and like, you have, like, cooties.

I was like, fuck you, bitch. Do you remember those things? I was like, I knew I should have picked blue. Fuck. All right, hold on. I'm gonna go back to that. But like... So I filled this can up with chocolate milk.

Okay. And I was like, yo, I don't want this, like, I bought it, like, by accident. I didn't even take a sip of it. Do you want it? This kid's like, yeah. And he drank it, expecting apple juice, but he got chocolate milk. Very different tastes. Yeah.

So he was prepared for something, got something else, threw up. Ew. Yeah. That's a pretty bad one. Yeah, I felt bad. I never did anything, like, ever again as far as that goes. I felt terrible because I was like, I thought it was like, haha, it's just chocolate milk. But and then he drank it.

Yeah. Because chocolate milk's amazing. Yeah. I mean, I did something worse than that. What'd you put like? Pee-pee. You peed? Here.

Here's the whole context. All right. So we were buying beer for this group of girls, right? You pissed in a beer? In high school. And this one girl was, like, really, really annoying, like, she was like, oh my god, you guys fucking get this fucking beer already? Like, we fucking gave you all this fucking money to go get it?

Like, where the fuck are you guys? So I was like, yo, we got 40s. I was like, yo, blank is fucking pissing me off. I'm going to drink the first, like, couple sips of it, and I'm going to go toot toot toot in there a little bit, then I did. You toot toot toot? I toot toot toot in there, and she drank it. I had no idea.

She had no idea. That just shows you how bad Old English is, by the way. Yeah. You can't tell the difference between malt liquor and piss. I honestly, if you doot toot in my beer, I probably wouldn't know. In fucking OE, I would never know. No. Also, this was like seven, ten years ago, but like, you don't know what beer tastes

like. Yeah. You're just drinking. It's like, it's not really good, but I'm going to do it because it's cool. Yeah. Yeah, basically. That's what it was. You drank because it was cool and you had nothing to do.

Yeah. I remember the first time I drank, I drank Heineken at my friend's like, that's pee. That is legitimate monkey piss. Yeah. Heineken is disgusting, and I don't know how people drink that shit, but it was like my friend's like 17th birthday, and some kids older than us got us beer, and we were drinking Heineken. Yeah.

I remember those little kegs. Yeah. Keg cans. Yeah. No, no, no. There was like that actual keg, but it was like this big. Yeah. Oh.

We're on the same page there. Yeah. Yeah. The mini kegs. Also, just to clean myself up there, the girl did find out about it, and it was fine. She was okay with it. It was a joke for a while. Oh, this part, I don't believe.

No, there was no charges per esterine, or anything like that. She thought it was funny, which blew me away. If a girl was like, oh my god, you pissed in my beer? That's hilarious. I'd be like, what the fuck? Well, they found out a year later. That's, yeah, but still. So it was like, if I found out that night, I would be upset.

Did you tell her, or it just came around? It just came around. The rumor was out. The rumor was out. Rumor was out there. She pissed in her beer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't believe you do-do-dude.

I had to. You didn't. I mean, you didn't. I didn't have to, listen. I didn't have to, but she wasn't very nice. At least you didn't poo-poo. No, no, no, no, no. You can't drink poo-poo.

Yeah. There's people out there that drink their own pee, for nutrients. Nutrients? Yeah. What, nutrients? I thought that's, you're getting rid of. No, no, no. There's like nutrients in your pee or something, like boxers do it sometimes.

Consumers drink their piss? Yeah. Yeah. Why? I don't know. It's like, it replant, like. There's some kind of replenishing fluid within pee, so if anything, I made her into a super person.

You did. Whatever. But it's fine. No. Do you think you could drink your own piss? Yeah. I could. If it was like watered out, I don't know if I could drink that yellow shit, but I could

drink my own pee, for sure. You can't drink like a dehydrated piss? You never tasted your own pee? Why would I have done that? No, because like, you've never tasted your own pee, ever. I don't think so. I'm not like, drank it. Like, in the shower, pee on your finger a little bit, give it to you, see what it tastes

like. Well, like I'm doing coke? No, yeah, a little bit, like a little freezer. No, I've never done that. No, no, no, no. Wait, you've pissed on your hand and put it in your mouth? Yeah, like when I was like six, five. Why?

Because I was a kid. I didn't know it was pee coming out of me. Oh, no. It's kind of old for pissing on your hand and trying it out. I don't think so. People piss on their hands for callous reasons. Yeah, that's fine. But jam it in your mouth afterwards?

I didn't jam it. I went, splashed a little bit off the stream and went like that. That was it. I can't believe you did that. What's the big deal? I don't see any big deal about it. I think people that are lying about it aren't, you know. I'm not lying about it.

I've never flicked my stream and then gotten a little taste. No. Also, there's another thing, though, too. You ever taste your own shit? No. Oh, like shit's out of the question? You're tasting pee? How would anyone taste their own shit?

I don't know. You've been through the front door. Why not come out the back? If you're going to taste one or the other, what are you going to taste? Lops. I'm going to take pee. Thank you. Yeah, but at six years old, I don't know the difference.

All right. I'm crazy. I'm not a sociopath. Well, did you like the taste of your own pee? No. It was just one of those things discovering my body, bro. What did you discover? Discover my body.

I discovered that pee tastes like pee. Let me ask you this question. You ever thought about tasting your own gist? No. Never once? No. I've thought about it. You've thought about it?

Yeah, why not? You've weighed the options? What are you proposing? Wait, so. I've weighed the options, but I've never tasted it. Right. You know? I know people who've done it.

Oh, is that worse than pee? Gist is by far worse than pee. So what are you coming at me for? I'm just, you're sitting in front of me. I mean, you're flicking your stream into your mouth. I flicked my stream and it went like that. Yeah, I know. That's all that happened.

You put a cigarette out on your tongue. Basically, basically, basically. And I was like, yeah, that's pee. That's what I thought pee would taste like, bro. Yeah, see, here's the thing. I keep it authentic on here. I keep it real. That's fine.

I'm not complaining about the authenticity of this show. I know you're dragging your ass on the floor with shit. You said you'd never bring that up again. No, I didn't. I never said that. I never agreed to that. And now you're trying pee. I'm just being honest with the audience.

I tasted my blood. I'm lying. I've tasted my blood. I've tasted my blood many of times. Well, not. I tasted my blood recently. No, like twice. I've done it.

No, because I had to prick my finger from diabetes. So I do that sometimes. Yeah, it's a little, it's a little gross, but, you know. What do we eat? We're eating. That was the finger I did it with. Oh. So what are we, blood brothers now?

No, piss brothers now. Oh. Oh, fuck. Yeah. I feel like my stringer, my, my, my stringer. My stringer. My, my, my, my stream with this finger. I don't think it's that weird for like a kid that tastes his own pee, bro.

Do you think it's that weird? I think that more people haven't done it than have done it. See, I would say you're wrong. I would say more people have thought, and then we're going to go back to your friends that are tasting their own cum, by the way. But I'm just letting you this, letting you this. I'm just letting you know this. I guarantee you, if you lie detected a bunch of people, and they said no, they'd come back

and hit for lying. So you think they purposefully have gotten out of their way to be like, I'm tasting this piss today? Yeah. No, I don't think so. Yeah. No. I can see if-

Dude, in the shower, like, you know what I'm saying? You pee in the shower, dog? Fuck yeah, pee in the shower. People don't pee in the shower? No. I will say the- A lot of people won't pee in the shower because they think it's gross. Ew, I will save a pee for the shower.

I don't like the warmth and some shape- some shape down my leg. You pee down your leg? Not my- you know what I'm saying, I was joking around. But like, you know- My pee joins the stream that's running down my body, then down the tip of my penis. That's- yeah, and then it becomes like a super spray. Yeah, but then you're like, now you don't know where my pee is. Yeah, you don't know where it is at all.

Like, you don't- I don't know if I'm peeing still or not, because the water that's dripping off my body is intersecting with my stream. So it's like, it might dick- not my dick, but my piss disappears. Yeah, yeah, it does become ghost piss. Exactly. Ghost piss. It is a ghost piss. It's a disappearing act is what it is.

Because the soap on the floor, it's a ghost piss. It's a ghost piss. But like, you're friends. Yeah. And they come. I want to hear this now. Because, no, I've got a name, no names. Yeah, I know.

Have I ever met any of them? Oh, you've met- I only know of one. Okay. And I've met them. Oh, yeah. All right. So tell me this experience. Well, I can't really, you know, explain an experience, because I wasn't there for this.

Yeah, but what did they say about it? It was kind of like- not that it was in passing, because it- it was- he attempted to make it seem like it was going to happen, like, oh, I'm just going to mention this, and then we're going to move forward. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. And I had to bring it back and get more info. But basically, one of my friends was just like, yeah, I just- I was basically the same-

well, you flicked your p-stream and tried it. It was just kind of like, I'm going to try this and see what the whole- all the fuss is about. I'll tell you this. I don't look at them the same. You don't, right? No. You can't.

You can't. You would expect me to taste my pee, though, I think. I was shocked by the- you tasted me. Really? Not that I'm shocked. It's not that crazy of a thing. If I really had to think about it, if you've done it, then sure. Maybe.

A flick and a kiss. Doesn't hurt. A flick and a kiss? Yeah, that's it. I think you should taste your own pee. Do it right here on the show. I'm not tasting my pee. Listen, I'll look at my asshole in the mirror, but I'm not going to taste my pee.

I thought I could get them again, guys. No. No, but it's- Putting the pressure on me. It's really- I really don't think it's a big deal. I think it's kind of normal. It's not just on your cat or anything, but- Yeah, that's true.

Would you suck your own dick if you could? Hell yeah. Is that gay? No. It's like- then that would mean jerking off is gay. If jerking off is gay, then I'm fucking gay as fuck. Gay as all fuck. Hell yeah.

I'm going to be fucking doing backflips down that fucking parade. If jerking off is gay, dude, I'll tell you that. Yeah, no. Because I think we talked about that for a second. Well, the dick in your mouth is kind of gay. It's your dick, bro. Yeah, but it's the penis. As long as you don't fin-fin in there.

See? Yeah, but I also think that just sucking your own wean is a gateway drug to trying your own jay. I'm going to agree with you because I- Yeah, probably. But it comes down to you know when you're going to be an L. Yeah. So you could get out of there if you want.

Oh yeah, you could definitely get out of there. Yeah. Eject. Yeah, but like do you think you'd be able to give yourself like a fucking awesome blush? I'll be honest. I don't have, first of all, the dick capacity for that sort of thing. I think you need some sort of like- What are you saying?

You got a big ass dick? No, I'm saying I don't have the dick capacity. Like, I don't have some methodical penis that's going to reach like- No, no, no. Because another thing is not a flexible dude. No, yeah, I hear you. So I can't, like I would need at least three years of yoga under my belt before I could even consider such things.

And even then, I'm not even fully confident. How about this? Would you lick your own balls? You know those people that could put like their legs behind their head? Yeah, but I don't think they could get their balls that close. I'm just saying maybe you could like- Yeah, no one can lick their balls. What, you've licked your balls?

No, I'm just saying like there's definitely somebody out there that could lick their balls. The dick's only possible because it's- What about those little fucking trapeze artists that crunch into those goddamn like boxes that are this big? They could lick their own balls, dude. Maybe. They could lick their own balls. There's somebody out there flexible enough to lick their own testicle sack.

Dogs can lick their own balls and it's like it's fine. Yeah. You know? Yeah. But they're cleaning their penis, right? Or do you think they do because it feels good sometimes? I don't know. I think they do.

They're like, this is kind of dope. Yeah, this is kind of dope. Yeah, but they also have- their dicks are in this like furry capsule. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dog dicks are weird. Yeah, my dog's got a little dick. Dog dicks are gross. It's just like his dad.

But it's like, dog dicks are probably the grossest dicks on the planet. Oh no, we looked up that dolphin dick and it was weird. Yeah, but that dolphin dick looks like- And that just looks like a vein. Yeah, but that looks like it should be on a dolphin. A dog's balls are like our balls. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. And like, then they just have this fucking weird dick, dude. It's all wet. Yeah, and it's pointy. Yeah. It has all kinds of red veins in there. It looks like lipstick that you cut with a scissor this way. Yes.

Like sideways. Yes, it has like that perfect sleek angle. Yeah. It's like a flat top, but like bang. Yeah, they have like Minecraft. Yeah, why is it so wet all the time? It's wet all the time. It's soaking in there.

Has Charlie ever been full on fucking hard? Dude, yeah. Have you ever touched his hard penis? Oh my god, no. I'm trying to get him, guys. If a dog's dick touched my hand, I'd so much purell. Have you ever been rubbing him? You got close to his penis?

I'm like, I'm sorry, but like I go right up to his head. I'm like, sorry, man. Oh, sorry, man. I was playing him on the show last night and like he was right next to me and I was rubbing him. I was like, oh, penis. And like went back up to his head. I was like, sorry, sorry.

Can't end up on the internet because then all of a sudden people are going to think fuck the cat or something. Yo. Be careful out here. Thomas's dog. It's a husky. I'm not even trying to be funny. It has a bigger dick than me.

That would make sense though. Like I'm telling you, there's some fucking roddies out there that got bigger dicks than me for sure. This dog has a, like a cock on it. It's insane. Don't you think he's a little like, well, he always sniffs penises. But like not like a dog, like, you know how dogs, like they get near assholes and dicks and they're like, let me check this out and they get a good whiff what's going on and

then they, you know, whatever they collect all their information and then they bounce. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's a little, it's a little strange. So yeah. I really am a firm believer that dogs can be homosexual by the way. Yeah. I don't see why not.

Everything else can be gay. Oh, you know what I heard about? You know when dogs dream? Yeah. And they like run. They're dreaming about you 90% of the time. A study came out. How the fuck would anyone know that?

A study came out. An animal study, whatever. Some fucking university. An animal study. From some university, some like highly Harvard. Let's go there. No, not Harvard, but it was some highly certified person. Princeton.

Ivy League school. I can't remember the study. I don't have my phone. But they came to the conclusion that 90% of your dog's dreams are of you or are of like say the people that are around most. So like Shannon. Yeah. Your mom.

So they're dreaming, he's dreaming about me? Yeah. He dreams about you. It's pretty awesome, isn't it? I love him. I know. I'm about to cry for a second. But also why is he barking so much?

Because he's playing with you. Oh, he's having a good time? Yeah, he's having fun. How do you... Well, I'm not a scientist. But apparently they strapped dogs to... Thanks for clearing that up, by the way. No, no, no, no, no.

Because apparently the study was they did stimulation tests of their brain activity. Oh, and it matched. And it like matched what it was when they saw their owners. Right. So they just kind of, you know, I'm not saying it's true. But according to that study, 90% of their dreams are of you and like your loved ones and being with you. Right.

Or you being addicted to them too. Oh. Yeah, they can have bad dreams. Some nightmares. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. It's kind of crazy to think about like their entire existence, right?

They can't speak a fucking word. Yeah, but they can understand words. They're so smart though. And then it's like, you know, it's like you can't understand anything. But like, you know when I'm sad? Like it's very weird. Yeah. Sorry.

Crying? No, I got... Choked up. No, no, no. I actually got choked up. A little bit. But it's... Thinking about your dog dreaming about you is pretty fucking cute.

No, it's cute. It's great. I love it. Wouldn't taste this pee though. No, me neither. It's crazy to think about though, like with dogs, how you... They can understand like, oh, I have to sit now or I have to lay down or whatever. Or that word means this, but you can't say it.

I know. It's kind of like, you ever meet someone who's like Spanish and they... You're like, yo, can you speak Spanish? They're like, nah, I can't really speak it, but I can understand it. It's like, what does that mean? On this episode, Joe asked a Puerto Rican person if he's ever met anybody that's Spanish. First of all, not... My mom.

She's a Spanish person. I'm saying, met a Spanish person was like, I can't really speak it, but I can understand it. Yeah, you're kind of looking at one. You can do that? Yeah. How does that make sense? It doesn't really make sense.

That's what I'm saying. Are Spanish people and dogs the same? That's why... That's going to come off bad. We are going to have to cut down. I was asking Mika the other day, like... Can you imagine this was like a super popular podcast? Oh my God.

People would be like, oh my God. Between the first five minutes, tasting pee and comparing dogs to Spanish people, I think we'd be taken off the air. Oh my God. That would be so funny. Speaking of which, stuff like that. No, no, no. You're about to come in with something hot here.

No, no, no. I'm not. All right. No, I was saying, speaking of which... Okay. Of how... What I just said. Obviously, it wasn't comparing.

Of course you weren't. You know what I'm saying? But it's easy to say that for me and you, right? But if this podcast was like, oh my God, like a Joe Rogan-level, like millions of people every week are listening to it, right? If it was like that, that can be taken such a bad way and people would be so fucking angry over nothing. Yeah.

Because if you watch this show without knowing who we are, I agree with you. But I think most of our audience, that's going to like... If we didn't talk about it? Yeah, they wouldn't know. They wouldn't know. Now they're going to have feelings about it. Well, now they're going to say... Now you're creating a monster and be like, yeah, man, listen, man, I was with you guys,

but once that came out, I was good. Yeah. Oh my God. No, because you want to know is my mom's fluent in Spanish. So she would speak it a lot and then add English into it. I'm just thinking of it like this. How can you pick up on certain words, but you can't say sentences? Because...

Because you know the words. Because I never learned it formally. It's like if you... But you could... Yeah, I could. It's not to a point where I would feel comfortable like going to fucking Mexico. And like, I'm good. Yeah, and I'm good.

Like I speak fluent Spanish because there's different dialects and shit. You know, like key words. Yeah. Like I would be able to get around. But like Mika was telling me like French, like he understands it, but he can't speak it either. Isn't that weird? Alana speaks French.

Jesus. Yeah. I think I could speak like any other language. I think that if you really tried, like from this day forward, like got Rosetta Stone and really tried... You could. You could do it. Oh, of course.

It would be hard as shit. Yeah, I don't want to do it. But like, I think if you took the time out, you could learn it. Like a buddy of mine moved to Mexico and became a chef, didn't know a fucking word of English. He was there for two years, learned the language. Yeah, of course. So like if you did it on your own, like on the low, like you could learn in Spanish for sure.

Yeah, I don't doubt that. That's like one thing, like I feel like with myself, I sell myself really, really short on stuff that I could actually do. Like shit like that. Learning languages? Learning languages or like reading more, like obtainable things, like things that are actually obtainable. You're like, I can't read this book.

Yeah. Like what is in my mind that forces me to feel like that? That you're incapable? Yeah. I don't know. Why would you feel that way? I just feel like I don't have a confidence. No, no, no, it's not confidence.

It's a repertoire. Yeah. And I don't think I have the organization skills to be like, I'm going to do this every night for an hour. Okay. Like learn, like do something completely outside of the box. That's a discipline issue. You think so?

Yeah, I think that's a discipline issue because when you want to do something uncomfortable or you want to do something like that you don't normally do and you'd like it to be on a weekly thing, if you're unable to do it, you're just not disciplined. But what's something that you would love to do now that you don't do? I don't know. Read? Sure. Read or play the piano more.

Right. So you would say that's a discipline issue too? Or you have your minds in other places really that you don't feel like you can properly dedicate yourself to it? I think that you could find time for anything and I think when people say like, I just don't have the time, like that is just an excuse that you don't actually believe. Right. Like yeah, you're busy, like whatever, but there is always time to do it.

It's an easy out of the conversation. Yeah, because the want wouldn't be there if it wasn't even possible to do. Yeah. You basically cannot do it. Like if I want to be a rock climber, but there's not a rock climbing wall for fucking 30 miles, like it's not even obtainable. I wouldn't think about it. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. If you're like, you know what, I think I'm going to start reading more and like maybe the first day you pick it up, like clearly it's obtainable to do that. It's so easy to read. Yeah, of course. But it's like, I think it's a discipline thing of like, I just don't want to do it now.

I'll do it later. I'll put it off. I'll do it tomorrow. I'll only do it once a week. And that becomes, I'm just not going to do it anymore. Exactly. Yeah. It's kind of like a snowball effect kind of in that way, but like, this is how I think

about shit. It's like, not everybody can read. Yeah. And it's like, I feel like I take reading for granted a little bit. Like, you know, you know, there's people out there that can't fucking read and write, bro. Like they would probably love to be able to read a book. That doesn't mean you have to read every book and be ascribed ascribe.

Like they write, don't they? I have no idea. You don't know who the scribes are? Yeah. Words with friends. Yeah. You think you can take me down? Fuck yeah.

Can we start playing words with friends against each other? Fine. And we'll post our scores every week. We'll do one match a week. Kind of this start. I don't know. Because I've been playing words with friends a lot. Okay.

So we should play one match a week. Yeah. If you Google or you hit me with za, I'm going to lose it. No. I know all the words. Like, I don't want to. QA. QI and all that shit.

Yeah. Yeah. Fucking bullshit. Once a week, let's try and do a words with friends and we'll post the winner. Okay. And we'll see how we're doing on words. I haven't played words with friends in a long time, but I used to play a lot of scrabble. Scrabble's great.

Yeah. Scrabble's harder, obviously, than words with friends. Speaking of scrabble. That's the real game. Why is it harder? It's the same game. Yeah. But you can't put all the letters out there and see if they match.

Oh yeah. You just have to know. Yeah. Or motherfuckers will challenge you. Yes. It's hard. I feel smart and dumb at the same time when I play scrabble because I'll be like, oh my god, I can't believe I formed this word.

I'm going to crush it next round and then I end up doing that. But then there's other times where someone else will put down a word like taxi. Yeah. And you'll be like, what the fuck is taxi? Yeah. You know, you just like, you forget how to say words now. Because you're so caught up in your own word. Yeah.

So it's like, what the fuck word is this? It's like, it should. I'm like, oh. Yeah. Fuck, yeah. Yesterday. Sheld? I was going to, I was going to play, what word was I going to play?

I was going to play ox, I think. OX. OX. Yeah. Because it had like a double letter and X is like a wild fucking, you know, that's a big ass point. Yeah. That's eight.

Yeah. That's big points, baby. So I was like, all right, let me play this. And then somebody used the word fill. T-H-I-L-L. Yeah. Which I didn't know was a word. Nope.

And they hit me for like 45 points. And it's like, yo, like. Crush your ass. I was like, yo, I got like this good, like 24 pointer, like I'm good. And then I was like, oh my God, 45. There's some people out there that are like remarkable at that game. Yeah. Now, do you think that they're smart?

No. Or do you think that they're just good at that game? It's a skill. It's a skill, right? It's not about, it's, it's less about, especially on that app, it's less about knowing the words and it's more about like placement and how to play your whatever or holding on to certain letters or whatever. I honestly get in that triple fucking word, though.

Fuck. Yeah. When you get to place your tile and make two of them, you get two triple words, fucking trip trips. Oh my fuck. Yeah. Triple word me. What was your favorite OG, uh, phone game besides snake?

Like snake was the only game. Oh. Candy Crush. I see. I was never like a huge Candy Crush person. I went through. I know people who are on like level 450 today. Still crushing?

Still, still candy crushing. Damn. Shout out for those still crushing. I mean, not shout out. It's kind of, that's an addiction. That's obsessive. Yeah. Remember Farmville on Facebook?

Yes. It's a plant mad crush. Yeah. But everyone ruined my shit. What do you mean? Like, um, like I would never like take care of them and like all my crops would die and shit. So that's you fucking your shit up.

Yeah. But can't you like fuck somebody's farm up, like attack their farm? I don't know. What's not an attacking game? Yo, you remember Jetman? No. On Facebook? Jetman?

Jetman. You just literally hit the space bar and it was a guy that was constantly going through like, uh, oh, caves, caves, you had to go up and down and you had to go up and down and not hit the top or the bottom. Jetman was way goes on. Yeah. That was a good game. Jetman was fire.

One of the games. Another good one was on your phone, uh, brick breaker, bro. Yeah. That's the one I was gonna say. It's like tennis where you just keep. That's just my, that's my shit. When you get that fucking orange ball that would go through everything. Mini clip.

Scrolling the shit out of that fucking blackberry. You remember a mini clip? No, I don't. You don't remember mini clip.com? No. That's where they had brick breaker. But it was called something else, I think, but it was fire because you get power ups. Yeah.

It was like 14 balls at one time. Yeah. It's my shit. Like if I could just keep two of them up, you know, if I could just keep two going, I'm good. I used to hate those bricks that you'd have to hit multiple times. I hate that. I hated those.

I hated them. You know what game I'm amazing at? Okay. Immediately you're like, no, you're not. That's it. No, but you know in bars, they have that game on the side where it's like there's two pictures, but there's something fucked up. Like what does it match?

Oh, uh, uh, uh, photo hunt. Uh, whatever. It's photo hunt. And it's fucking amazing. It's so good. I love it. Check the mountains. Check the mountains in the back.

Playing with somebody else though, too. Like a spotter is clutch. Oh hell yeah. But yo, you take this half, I'll take this half. Do not look at my side. I will fuck you. Yeah, that's it. I wouldn't, I wouldn't go that far and say I'd fuck them, but I love that game.

I love that game. You know what's the weird one? The one, the golf one that's always in bars and there's always some drunk white dude spinning on shit at a fucking white ball. Yeah. Yeah, it was just like, oh, it's just like, I'm like, dude, relax, you hit the ball. I always sucked at that one. I was never good at that fucking one.

What the fuck was that one called? I don't know. Some PGA shit. PGA golf shit with that little white ball. Always some drunk white dude in there just fucking freeing that ball. Yeah, that is so funny. Arcades were fire, man. I miss arcades, dude.

They have barcade. Yeah, but it's not the same, man. It doesn't light up your night like, imagine going to, remember going to an arcade when you were a kid? No. Really? I never been to an arcade. Like a fully fledged arcade.

You never went to Nathan's? Hot dogs? Yeah. Some of them would have arcades in them. No. I mean, I've been to like hotels and they had like mini arcades, like whatever. Damn, dude. And I've been to David and Buster's like twice in the last year.

That's an arcade. Yeah. I'm talking about like a arcade. You said, do you remember arcades like they don't exist anymore? They don't. Not like that. David and Buster's is an arcade. Dude, arcades were like going to play the Simpsons fucking game.

The last time I went to David and Buster's, this guy was out on a date clearly with this girl. And he's like, oh, let's play the basketball game. And then he's like, I'll go first, like whatever, like being cool, right? Yeah. Gets his points, whatever. And this little like Asian girl, he's like, okay, crushes him. It was hilarious.

Like fuck you, man. I thought you were going to crush this girl. She fucked you up. I'm going to go out on a limb here. I feel like Asians are very good at games. Well, yeah, I think they're very good at them. Yeah. Do you remember the video of the guy who it was an Asian guy?

It was the basketball game, the little shoot, the pop a shot. Oh, he's amazing. He had two hands and he was just, yeah. That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. They have some like amazing focus. Yeah, I think that's what it is. Yeah, they have some like hyper focused shit. That's amazing.

Remember Fruit Ninja? That Fruit Ninja was fire. So Fruit Ninja, it took a lot of years off my life. Yeah, Fruit Ninja was I hit that banana. You fuck. Yeah, I know it was fucking watermelon. When you would freeze and get like that fucking nine fruit fucking combo. Fuck a bus of none of my pants.

Yeah, dude, are you hit that? What was like bombs you couldn't hit? Bombs you couldn't hit. Yeah, that shit would suck. But at Dave and Buster's, they have a big ass Fruit Ninja. That's your hand size is table. Whoa, yeah, you got a cut. Yeah, and you're doing it like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what they have at Dave and Buster's that I'm really bad at? Actually, yes. How the fuck do you know I was going to say that? That's weird. What? That game. Yeah, the lights come up and you have to hit them as they pop up.

Action one. I'm trash. I'm mad good at it. But I hit the fuck out of those lights. I probably broke that machine. Whack-a-mole was never a fan of those. No, not really. I would just use my hands like double hands.

The street, the street fair over here, they had a whack-a-mole. But we never really played it. I usually played the game where you throw like ping pong balls at the fucking fish bowls. Oh, the carnival games are fun, though. Like, you know, you're going to lose, but they're fun anyway. Yeah. Yeah, I like carnivals. Dude, this is one year.

I like carnivals. You know, actually, there was a time. So that fair, like, I stopped going to because it got like mad dangerous. Like, every time we went, there was like some sort of crazy shit that would happen. Like, I remember one year. Was it just like Greek gangs fighting or something? No, it's not only Greek people around. I don't know who the fucking is, but fights would break out all the time.

Can't go anywhere now. But there was a guy who was a vendor and apparently he told some guy to like leave or something. And like, this all happened like right in front of me. And the guy came out and pulled a screwdriver out and tried to stab one of the vendors with it. They beat the shit out of this man. I've never seen someone get their ass kicked. Wait, wait, wait, like all the carnies came up and beat the guy up. Yep.

That's fire. You know, the rider died like that. You know, they beat this guy in a hell and he was on the ground. And this is how bad it was. Like he would. This is the worst I've seen anyone get their ass kicked, right? He was on the ground. They were kicking the shit out of him.

And then like, he was so out of it because he was getting his head stopped in. And I'm literally and he literally sat up like that, like this and like sat up like the undertaker. And some guy came out of nowhere and kicked this guy in the face. Just 60 yard field gold. And he just laid on the ground. And I was like, this is a dead man in front of me. It literally happened right here. Yeah.

And I was like, I'm never coming to this thing again. Like this is incredibly dangerous. Damn, dude. And there was another time that a fight broke out with like 30 kids. And people were running down the street. I saw a kid hit someone with a bike and someone got hit with a fucking a skateboard. Yeah, dude. Someone picked up a bike and threw it at someone.

Didn't even throw it. Just held it in the hand. We're trying to hit him with the bike. It was just insane. It was shit. We're having all these fucking outsiders brawls going on over here. Yeah, it was wild. Didn't you say her gunshots out here on Halloween?

You were here, weren't you? No. I would have left. I would have stayed here. Someone was here. But yeah, I don't know if there were gunshots. I'll tell you what, though, when I was younger, I was in my bedroom and my mom's house where I grew up, like across the street, it's just a bunch of factories.

So we called it the dumps, like down the dumps, because there's nothing over there. And some of the factories were like shut down. So there was nothing there, literally. And then the only thing, it's like one avenue, and then the water, and then Rikers Island, right? But Rikers Island is like a mile into the water, you know, whatever. But I remember one night hearing yelling or something. I woke me up.

So I opened the window. And it sounded like it was very in the distance, far away, yelling. And then I heard two loud bangs, and I didn't hear yelling. And I don't know if it was because I kind of tried to put two and two together, but I swore that I heard help. So I woke my mom up, and I told her. And I slept in her bed, because I was scared. Looking back on it, gunman comes to my house.

My mom's not saving me. No, probably not. She's getting shot. Actually, you know what, moms have weird parent strength. She'd probably be able to figure something out. Maybe. My mom's a lunatic when it comes to that stuff. I know.

When you go back to your parents' house now, well, over there, your childhood home, you sleep on a couch? No. I sleep in my mom's bed with my mom and the two ducks. Wait a second. Hell yeah. How old are you? I am a 27-year-old man.

So every time, wait, help me get this right. Because I've seen Instagram stories on your thing. And that couch is, oh, I've been there. That couch is ginormous. You could just sleep on the couch. Yeah, I don't. I could. I don't think there's anything wrong sleeping with your mom.

I'm not saying that. Oh, maybe. Oh, yeah, a little old. For sure, a little old. Like, how does it work, though? Like, who goes to sleep first? She does. So you'll just be, yeah, and I just pop in there.

I'm trying to make this not sound weird. No, no, no. I move the dogs out of the way. And I get in this bed. Now, is that because that's the only place you would feel comfortable sleeping in there? No. You just love your mom.

It's not that I love my mom. I'm not, like, spooning my mom. I know you're not. You're 27 years old and moving dogs so you can sleep with your mom. Yeah. I think it's cute. It's a little weird.

No, but yeah, I do that. Because, well, now. When did that start? When did that start, this whole thing? Well, when I moved out. Well, it's not the case anymore. Because it's not the case anymore. Ever since my sister moved out, I don't do that,

because there's an extra bed now. So I was sleeping in that bed. But there was never an extra bed. And that couch was so fucking like. You have this little smile on right now. Because it's so funny. It's just funny. Yeah, I really don't like care.

But why would you care? There's nothing weird about it? No. Something weird about it. No, but yeah, so now there's an extra bed. So I'll sleep in that one. All right. And to be fair, a lot of the reason

why I would sleep in that bed is because he was so dumb. He does, man. He was the best bed ever. I'm not hating. I don't give a shit if you hate. I don't give a shit if you hate. No, yeah. 27-year-old man.

I've slept in that bed numerous times. Good for you. Where's Keith's sleep in the basement? No, he has his room upstairs now. He has a room upstairs now. Yeah. The basement we're redoing. Oh, nice.

Yeah, but what do you guys put in there? Please put a bathroom in there. When are you there? I'm just saying for when I'm there. Because here's why. I've pooped at your house multiple times. I don't like pooping upstairs. Why?

Because that's where everyone does their stuff. I rather poop in like a non-poopable zone. Like where most people won't go to poop. You know what I'm saying? OK. It's going to be the summertime. We're going to be over there a couple times. Yeah.

I'm sure. Yeah. And I don't feel comfortable pooping upstairs so close to people's bedrooms. I don't like it. I don't know what to tell you. I don't know if a bathroom is going to be here. You have two bathrooms in here.

We're redoing the entire thing. We're doing the whole. Yeah, I know. I know. Get a bathroom down there, dog. Did you grow a penis sink down there? What? Did you grow up peeing in a sink?

No, that sinks a new thing. That pee sink is new? Pee sink is new. Oh, sorry. You were older when you started peeing in the sink. It's like a slop sink. It's not an actual sink. It's sink that you pee in.

I mean, it's not a sink. You're not doing dishes and washing your hands in it. But you're peeing in it. Yeah, I'm peeing in it. That's dope. I like peeing in sinks. I have shit in there. Shut the fuck up.

No. I was trying to think how you would have to be stable enough off the ground to shit. You would have to be like a gymnast to shit in a fucking thing like that. Your face just now was just like, I was like, yeah, this kid's core strength is unbelievable. Yeah, those gyms were just holding that like hell.

And also shitting. That's crazy. It's near impossible. It's near impossible. It's possible. I think Keith's definitely going to dump down there. No, no way. Like mid-fort death.

Oh my god. Do you want to hear like the funniest story ever? Yeah. About Keith. Yes. Well, kind of about Keith. There was a time where Charlie took a shit in his room. Do you know the story?

No. OK, Charlie took a shit in his room. And this is when Charlie was like shitting in the house, obviously, so he was young. So he shit in his room. And he never really went up there, Charlie, right? Because he was around everyone. But so he had shit in his room under the radar.

Fucking recon shit. Recon shit, yes. And so it was Keith's room. And Keith didn't find it until like so long later that it was hard. Oh my god. Like a day later? Like a dog shit has to get hard.

And I don't know how long that takes. It takes a while. So it was hard. I'm like, Keith, how did you not smell this? What did he say? Didn't find a dog shit. A baby dog, a puppy shit. Yeah, they stank.

Yeah, disgusting. I have a theory. He found it. Just didn't feel like cleaning it up. Oh, look at this. Look at this. Time to go to bed, though. Yeah, I'll do it in the morning.

I'll definitely do it in the morning. Have you ever, like, has Charlie ever peed and you tried to rush to get him outside? I picked him up because I peed coming out. Yeah. I had to do that once with Eli when he was younger. He's pissed all over me. He pissed, and I would literally pick him up.

And as I was walking, it was just pissed going left and right, left and right, left and right. Wait till you have a baby. Those things will pee right in your mouth. Like baby boys, when you change their diapers, piss all over you. Fire. Not fire.

No. I have to plug up my baby's pee hole like, hey. What? That would hurt. I'm not going to actually put a plug in it. I'm just going to put my thumb or my hand out in the way. It's so weird how little a baby's penis is. Yeah.

They're like this big. It's just so weird that we're babies at one point. Me and you were babies. Yeah. Fucking babies. And then you grow. It's so weird. You get tall.

What? What? You know what I thought about the other day? It's so scary. Yeah. Scary. Yeah, because it's like, yo, like, all right. So it's like, when you get a dog, it's like, hey, listen.

This dog is going to be 10 years, 12 years, if you're lucky, you know what I'm saying? Right. But it's an everyday thing. You have to take care of that dog. When it comes down to babies, I think he's going to live a long ass time. And probably, if you're lucky, until you die, right?

Right. But it's just weird that babies grow up to take care of who makes them, if that makes any sense. Because a puppy's never going to take care of you. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You take care of a puppy until it dies, sadly. They die.

They die very early. But when you have a kid, they're supposed to take care of you at some point. Yeah, it's kind of cool. It's kind of like an insurance policy a little bit. Yeah, you're breeding caretakers, caregivers. That's what it is. What's the difference between a caretaker and a caregiver?

That is a great fucking question. Believe your mind. They're the same thing. Are they? They have to be. I don't know. They have to be. They have to be.

Well, someone's taking and someone's giving here. Yeah. Not here, but. Do you have life insurance? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Should I get life insurance?

Yeah. Yeah, you should, Dan. I should. You're dangerous. Yeah, but then I'm probably a flag. I probably won't get insured. No, I mean, you're not fucking surfing volcanoes. Who's that guy like a long came Polly or something?

Yes. Oh, fuck, maybe like base like skydives and shit. Yeah. This crocodile wrestling bastard. Doc. Oh my god, that was such a good performance. Great performance. All right, P. Yeah.

All right, definitely P. Hold on. Right before we before we move on. Babies to the sponsors. Sponsors of the show. The first sponsor we have here is on Tuckett. OK, here's the tip. No guy looks good in a long bulky dress shirt when it's untucked, which I used to do when I was younger.

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And now I got to wear like a belt that's got to be nice. Yeah. I don't want to do that. And maybe I don't even have to wear a belt. No. I'm not a big belt guy. I like belts, but I like them for what they actually do. Not their stylistic points.

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I was trying not to laugh throughout the entire ads. Oh, man. It was the Asians thing, I said? Yeah, it was funny. Yeah, it was a slip. It was a slip, though. Freudian. What?

Freudian. Freudian? Slip. What is a Freudian slip again? It's kind of like, if I went to say, I'm going to fuck you up, but I just went, I'm going to fuck you. And then you're like, oh, it's a Freudian slip

because you want to fuck me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You accidentally say what you actually mean, you know? But that was a weird example out of the game. By the way, speaking of that, I got a comment on the latest video we put out on Santa Carolina Studios that is hilarious. All right.

So obviously, everyone knows we used to make videos that were a certain way, and whatever, blah, blah, blah. So we're doing something different. I like doing different shit, and it's a lot more fun now. I love doing the podcast and whatnot. And we put out the video of us painting to Bob Ross. Great video.

Like a Bob Ross tutorial. If you haven't seen it, go check it out. It's on youtube.com slash Santa Carolina Studios. And someone left a comment that said, I mean, I'm paraphrasing here. Not the last part, but the paraphrasing in the beginning where it's like, oh, I miss the Walmart and idiots of the internet videos.

I don't like this new shit. You're going in a homo direction, and I don't like it. I was like, whoa. Because he said that we made too many dick jokes. So we're going in a homo direction. And I just find it so funny. What's wrong with people? I don't know, but why are people so, like, bothered?

I don't think I could ever comment. Yeah, what's up? This is really good. What is a homo direction? I don't know. Which way is homo direction? If someone's going in a homo direction, does that mean it's like they're working their way up

to being full-fledged, like, now I'm gay? Yeah, that's what I think he's trying to say. I'm inching towards that? I'm just going to let you guys know. I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret. We're probably some of the least gay people. We're just comfortable. We're comfortable men.

OK? I love it. I love it. I don't understand why people are still calling people gay. It's saying they're going in homo direction. What do I even mean? I don't know. I'll paint with my friends.

I can't paint. Painting's gay now. I used to love your videos, but now you're moving in a homo direction. Maybe it was a typo. Maybe you meant whole new. Those are completely different, all right? You're trying to help them, but it's not working.

No, I'm not trying to help that fucker. Fuck you, man. It was so funny. Actually, I think I have it. I think Keith was the one who sent it to me. He's like, yo, this is hysterical. So I don't know. I just don't get that whole thing.

Oh, this is what it says. It says, oh my god, this is way better. It starts off very hot. Dudes. Well, then it says dudes. Yeah. Dudes, are you sucking each other off or something? What the fuck?

Too many dick references. You sound like fags. Whoa, they call those fags? Give us the f-word. Old channel was 10 times funnier. Not sure why you went this homo direction. Good luck, minus one sub, sad. OK.

Why do you sound like Donald Trump at the end there? Yeah, yeah. Minus one sub, sad. Awful. Awful, damn with it. Yeah. Yeah, that guy's that guy. I'm praying for you, but I really am, and I'm not.

Yeah, the comment on top of that. You guys are bad at painting, but the videos are great. At least you got one. At least you got one. I'll take the half compliment. But yeah. Dude, why are you so angry? You want to know it's weird.

I hate when dudes are so scared of dick jokes. Why can't you just come out of your fucking comfort zone and not be a fucking homophobe for three seconds? Like you ever hug a guy and he's like, oh, come on. I get it, man. And you're like, relax. That's what I do. I'm not trying to fuck you.

No one's going to suck your cock, bro. Relax. Take it easy, you fucking asshole. Like, listen, we've talked about how when we were kids, we would make jokes and shit. Never once have I ever been like scared of gay people. Get this gay thing away from me. I don't understand how people are like that.

I don't understand. What are they afraid of? What are you afraid of? OK. Oh, man. But that's a lack of education, though. No, and it's a lack. And it also has to come from your upbringing.

That's what I was going to say. Someone put this in your head that like if a gay person is within three feet of you, you get leprosy. Yeah, or something. You know what I'm saying? Like, not every gay person has AIDS people out there. News flash for you. I hate when people are like when they try to seem

like they're they're OK. They're not homophobic. And they go like, I don't care if you're gay. Just don't be gay near me. Yeah, it's like that is the front. Like that's called homophobia. Yeah, you fucking idiot. I don't care if you're gay.

Just be gay on an island away from me. It's like, yo, you're a fucking idiot. I just feel like when we do the show, right? There's always like three or four like cowboys. That's what I call them. The homophobe cowboys. We're like, it's like you're going out of your way to call two straight people gay.

Yeah. And what if we were gay? Who writes that and then goes unsub? Like, we're going to be like, oh, man, hate that this guy's not here anymore. We don't want you here. I will. I'm not even going to notice you.

I didn't even know you were there to begin with. Funny comment, though. Yeah. I would get a chuckle reading it. The dark side of me would get a chuckle reading that. Yeah, because I love how it starts off, dudes, are you guys sucking each other off or something? God, it's so weird.

I wonder, was he telling a joke or maybe he was actually like curious. He could have been April Fools in us. Yeah, maybe it's like just kidding. Love the homo direction. It could be an April Fools. Could be an April Fools. Probably not, though.

I'm definitely going to look him up now. I don't know if you could. He didn't have a picture or anything. One of those guys. None of those people have pictures. Fucking eggs. Eggs. Fucking bastards.

Bastards. Can never find. Have you ever tried to find someone, though, that is like put a comment on your thing? No, I've never. I've done it. Did you? Fuck yeah.

Why? What's up? What'd you find? Oh, someone wrote a comment and you're like, I'm going to find this person. Yeah. What were you going to do when you got him? No, I find like shitty.

No, no, no, not in person. No, I know that. Like I'll find pictures of them and post them. I used to do this all the time. You would flame them? Yeah. I'd be like, this guy made fun of me. I used to be really, really, you stopped me from doing that.

Really? Really? Yeah. Because remember I talked to you? I was like, yeah, I'm going to go at one of these guys. It's like when we first started working with each other. You're like, why? And I was like, yeah, you know what?

It doesn't make sense. But I used to love. It adds fuel to the fire. Because even if you read something that bothers you, see, there's two things. I hate when people act like, oh, comments don't bother me. It's like, dude, someone is saying something bad about you. That, by definition, is going to make you feel bad.

Like maybe it doesn't make you feel bad to the point where it changes your mood. But when you read it, you're like, ah, it sucks. Like someone doesn't like me. Yeah. Well, the fuck likes to be hated. That's stupid. Nobody.

I want everyone to like me. Exactly. So it's like when someone says something like that, a little part of you that's like, ah, that sucks. But whatever. You know what's not a big deal. But if someone really strikes a nerve with you and bothers you.

I'm bad, too. I've never really done that. There have been times in the very, very, very beginning, like when I had like 6,000 followers on Twitter, I've replied to people before. And then I've noticed that that just is like, you just open up the floodgates. Because now everyone's like, oh, he's going to respond?

Now I'm going to fucking go at it. Even if I don't feel that way, I'm just going to say it. Did you LOL them? No. All right, so Joe does this thing where like, if he's like mad at you, not really mad at you, but like, if you do something that upsets him, he'll always end up passive aggressively with the LOL.

No, I'll start it with the LOL. Yeah, he'll start it with the LOL. He'll be like, LOL. He's not laughing at all. No. And then like. It's kind of like a laugh you do before you're like, listen, bro.

Yeah, there's that. Well, you didn't edit it, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he'll immediately follow it up with something really nice. Because I don't want to. Yeah, I do that constantly. I do that constantly.

Yeah, I've told them. I was like, yo, you could be a dick, bro. That's cool. Like, don't worry about it. I don't like it. It hurts me. Yeah, I don't like being a dick either. Especially because like, I know it bothers you.

You know how it bothers a lot to be, you know? The LOLs? No, no, no. If he does something that could be taken, like, I know the kind of person Davino is. Like, he's the nicest kid in the world. I never want to hurt anyone's feelings ever, really. Davino will do something that is so like, it's minuscule.

Like, it doesn't bother me at all that you said that, you know? Right. Like, he'll make a joke about something, and I'm just like, haha. Like, four days later, he'll text me and be like, yo, I just want to say, like, I'm sorry about that. Like, I'm like, Davino, I'm not even thinking about, like, relax.

I'm not even thinking about this. Like, you're my friend. You're not a stranger. But I always feel bad, like, especially if it comes down to the show, like, if it doesn't meet your standards, I always feel bad. You know what I'm saying? So, like, when I get that LOL, I'm like, oh, damn.

Motherfucker lolled me. And then I'm just like, I'm like, in my bathroom, like, thinking about my life for like the next, like, 30 minutes. I remember the last time I did this, you were on your way to therapy. It's like, all right, I'm going to therapy to talk about you for an hour.

I had a great therapy session, actually, yesterday. You cry? I did, actually. Five. I did cry. I'm trying to cry at therapy. Yeah. You're in.

Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to cry. You should call them today. Yeah. I would love to go to therapy and just cry, because then I'm like, ooh, this is working. You know, like, with Listerine, where it's like, when it burns, it's like, oh, this is working. You're crying at therapy?

It's working. Hell, yeah. Hell, yeah, doll. But no, but, um, hell, yeah, doll. Back to, like, the comment thing, like, there's, like, that guy went out of our way to call Svags, bro. Yeah. Why does that, I don't know if it doesn't bother me, though.

It doesn't bother me. It just makes me, it makes me feel sad for, like, the earth. It's like, this guy, first off, called us dudes. Yeah. Hey, dudes, are you guys sucking each other's dicks, basically, and then called us Svags, and then I'm subbed? Like, old me would be like, I can't let this guy win.

But he doesn't win. No. He's just some random homophobic dude that I don't know. No. I think it was an April Fool's joke, hopefully. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think so. No.

You ever pull the April Fool's joke on anyone? No. I think April Fool's day is so fucking stupid. Yeah, yeah, it's one of the dumbest days. Hey, the whole point of a prank is so that people get caught off guard. Now we're dedicating a day like, hey, do the pranks today. Yeah.

I'm on guard. Yeah, it's dumb. It's dumb. Defeats the purpose of a prank. Yeah. I've tried when I was younger, probably. Yeah, everyone's tried. Ooh, let's put a cup of water above a jar door.

Yeah. A jar door? More like when the door is a jar. Oh, open. Yeah. It's like a riddle, isn't it? When is a jar? Not a jar.

Not a jar. When it's closed. Didn't someone say that at Xbox the other day? I think Frankie said that. Yeah, somebody said it. No, but even what Bieber did. Yeah, the Bieber thing is ridiculous. He played an April Fool's joke and said

that him and Hailey Bieber were pregnant, and then they weren't. And then people lost their minds about it. And I'm like, I think pregnancy jokes are fucking stupid. I think they're stupid. I don't think that one is stupid. Like him doing it to everyone else is fine. But if she did it to him, I'd be like,

this girl's a fucking psycho. Oh, I'm pregnant. No, I'm just kidding. Why would you lie about the birth of a child? That's crazy. But to do it to the masses, who was offended by that? I guess a lot of people that can't get pregnant or something. But how the fuck does that apply to them?

I don't know. I don't think it does. Hey, man, we're having a kid. I'm just trying to see where you can't do anything, though, now. No, that is ridiculous. If people who can't have children, like, that's terrible. And I'm sorry about that.

Like, you know, whatever. I'm not being insensitive. I'm just trying to connect this. Fucking Justin Bieber says, hey, guys, we're pregnant, April Fool's. And you go, oh, man, I can't have kids. That offended me. How?

How? I don't know. And I'm not saying you can't be offended. I know you're saying. You can't. I don't think you should be, though, to be honest. I'll go out there and say it. I think it's a little crazy to be offended by that.

People have joked about that. That's, like, one of the biggest April Fool's jokes like there is. It's a classic April Fool's joke. What about all the fucking pregnancy pranks on YouTube and those fucking idiots? Did you see that guy that made out with his sister? Oh, don't get me started, dude.

That was all I don't even. I think that's fake. I think it's fake, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That kid's a fucking weirdo, anyway. Yeah, yeah, that guy's. His whole channel's making out with people. Yeah, it's weird.

Fucking creep. I don't understand people that. It's like, yo, let's play Rock, Paper, Scissors. Fuck it. And he starts making out with them. Yeah, that's not, it can't be real. Dude, you're awesome. Yeah.

Pussy Slayer, dude. Fucking weirdo. Dress is like Chris Angel. He does. It's weird, dude. Kid's a weirdo, dude. Oh, and that video, that video of him kissing his, like, half sister, whatever the fuck you're talking about,

he was like, so you guys have been asking for this, and I'm going to, who's asking for this? Yeah, I know. Show me one comment where someone's like, yo, you know who's you kiss, your fucking sister. Yeah. You know who probably said it? This fucking guy over here.

The guy that called us gay. Kiss your sister, bro. Kiss your sister, that's sick. Don't be gay, kiss your sister, bro. Don't be gay, kiss your sister now. Do it. That was a powerful dude. That was.

I think we can end on that note. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Danny, where can I find you? You can find me at, whoa. It's your name. No, I was going to say you can find me in St. Louis, rolling on doves, rolling on doves. Just say you're fucking.

At Den La Prairie on Instagram and Twitter. You guys follow me on social media at Joe Sanagato. Go check out the show on Instagram at The Basement Yard, and our Patreon that is set up. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. Thank you for supporting the show, everyone. Yeah, you get a free, free. You get a free actual episode on the Patreon

that is exclusive to the Patreon. You get every episode a week in advance, and you get other cool shit as well. Extra content, Q&As for me and Danny and shit like that. And you also get a personalized video message through there if you're in a certain tier. So go check that out. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard, and that is all.

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