The Basement Yard - #192 - Would You Sell Your Undies?

Episode Date: June 3, 2019

On this episode, we discuss how many times we use the same towel, selling our underwear and a bunch of other stuff. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Check it, check it, check it. I, I. Check. Check it, check it. I, I. Hold up. It was good.

It was good. Welcome back to the bass minard. It's the boys. But, but, but. Big D, twink J, in the house. You know what I'm saying? You're dressed very well today. Yeah, you like that shit?

Finally outdid me on an episode. I outdid you. You tried. Not. Like you finally tried to look. You tried. Presentable, yeah, you look good. Presentable.

I just wear T-shirts. Yeah, but, you know, clean up a little bit. Got a nice haircut. I'm going to brunch. Not brunch. What the fuck? I'm going to a happy hour. That sounds nice.

You're also coming. I am coming. Yeah. I'm going to have a virgin cock. What's up? A virgin cocktail. Okay. Yeah.

Well, that, you know, we have to explain that to people. Cause we don't know where that's going. A virgin cocktail is, is a cocktail with no alcohol in it. If you don't know. But a virgin cock is just a cock that hasn't been inside of a vagina yet. Yes. So there's two virgin cocks.

Yeah. So we'll, we'll see how the night of the day goes. What are you doing there? I'm trying to rip this fucking thing off. It's getting annoying. You know what I hate on like Stella's, the paper on top of the, on top of the beer. Oh yeah.

To open it. Let's get rid of the paper. It's disgusting. The paper is horrible. Disgusting. I hate. What? What was that?

My back. Your back's fucked. Yeah. I think I need a new mattress. Casper, where are you at? But I think I need a new mattress. I don't know. I think, I think I've been sleeping weird because my.

Yo, I hate when people say, oh, maybe you slept weird. It's like, what do you think I'm doing in there? You think I'm sleeping like suspended from the fucking ceiling? No, but you could be sleeping in different positions cause you probably move a lot throughout the night. How many times do you wake up in the same position that you went sleeping?

Never. That's what I'm saying. So you toss and turn. I toss and turn. My doctor told me that the safest way to sleep is on your back. Safest? Yeah, it's like the healthiest.

Oh, I was like, what's dangerous about sleeping? No, you never know. But like the healthiest, I think is the word I'm looking for. I usually sleep facing right, so this way? All right. Is that a way, or is that towards your door or away from your door? Away from my door.

Okay. So this way, if a robber comes in, I'm getting stabbed in the spine. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you're done. And I also sleep on the right side. Do you, yeah. But if you're looking at the bed,

I sleep on the left side, but if you're in the bed, I'm on the right side. Okay. You know what I'm saying? And I sleep towards that way, and then I wake up on my back and then I finish up my sleep on my stomach. Yeah.

I have a finish up. You have a finish up. Yeah. See, I have to lay on my side and put a pillow between my knees. Why, those knees knock? I just, it makes me feel like my spine is more aligned. Like if I have a pillow to like hug.

Oh. Yeah. You cut all that pillow? I cut a little pillow. Okay. Because like, I'll sleep next to Alana, but she does a lot of swimming in her sleep. Yeah.

So like, it's just like a puppy. Yeah. And then Eli's in the bed too, so I have to fight for my space. You know, I need my own space. I need my own space. So I'm fighting for my own space. So I usually end up on my side.

Which side? The right side. Okay, twins. Yeah, twins is on that. And also she's closest to the door. So if a guy comes in, get in her first. Yeah, body shield. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fuck yeah. I can hold her up. Exactly. Perfect. Then the dog, then you. Yeah. Or if I could be like one of those like guys who was a killer in his past life,

where you could like roll over the bed and you have like the shotgun underneath your bed. Hell yeah. On like a hand, she's like, ouch. Dude, love that shit. That should be cool. Yeah.

I just spit everywhere. Yeah, he did. Literally everywhere. My dad used to keep like a bat under his bed. Did your dad have like a bed weapon? Yeah, he did for a little bit. But then he just realized he lived in like the safest suburb ever.

Yeah, I know. I feel like when you're a dad, you get a bed weapon. Where you keep a weapon under your bed of like just in case someone breaks in. Yeah. I could fucking, and my dad's was a bat. Mind you, my dad, bad shoulders.

This guy can't swing. No. No one's getting hurt. Probably not. You know what I'm saying? Honestly, with a bat, if you don't hit me in the head, I got a good shot to get that thing away from you.

I don't know. You get hit in the rib with a fucking bat? I know, but the adrenaline's going, right? Yeah. And I swing a bat at you. First of all, I'm not like in the fucking box just like loading up. I'm running at you like a maniac.

Okay. So I'm not getting my best swing off there. If you could just grab the bat, absorb the first one, you're all right. Like it wouldn't be my weapon of choice to show up to kick someone's ass. I'd get a knife. I'd get a knife or brass knuckles.

I'd get two knives. One to throw. A distraction knife? No, no, no. Or like you're actually good at throwing knives. I don't know how good I am at throwing knives. But I imagine I'm all right. I'm not terrible.

No, you're athletic. Yeah. So I should be able to throw a knife like a ninja. Do you throw like from the blade first? Or do you throw from the handle first? The blade first, right? No, no, no, handle first. No, I think you, no, no, no.

One good rotation. Have you ever thrown an axe? You don't know anything. Yeah, but the axe has a handle. It's weighted. What the fuck? What are you talking about? A knife has a handle.

But I feel like when people throw knives, they throw it from the fucking that thing. Steven Seagal does that way, but that's dangerous. You could cut your fingies. So I'm throwing it from the handle, being safe. Anyway, I'm not counting on this working. I'm not fucking, you know what I'm saying?

That's a distraction knife. No, you know, in movies, you throw it and the guy gets hit in the spine. He's like, oh, and then he lands on the floor. That's not happening. I'm throwing this with a hope set. They make that exact note. Oh, I'm falling down here.

I'm hoping that this like sticks in him, obviously. And he's like, oh, and then I come out of nowhere and jugular. Jesus. That's scary. It took me off guard. I'm trying to open that throat. Just get it real messy.

Wow. That was intense. If someone breaks into my house and I jugular cut them. You're gonna go to jail. No, I don't. No, I don't. In New York, yeah.

No. Yeah, yes, come to your bedroom. No. Yes. Why? I don't know. I don't think that's true. Yeah, it is.

I don't know. Yeah, like if a guy just walked in your thing here and like say you had a shotgun or whatever. Bussing him. And you blew him away. Yeah. You're gonna get in trouble. Why?

It sucks. In New York, it sucks. The gun laws here are terrible. I don't know if that's true. It is. It is. Why my bedroom? Well, after this, we'll ask Dom.

We'll ask Dom, because Dom will know. Because he's an officer of law. Someone's getting shot, though. Yeah, of course. But like, you're. Let me get to my hypothetical. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not unreasonable.

It's not realistic. But someone breaks into my house, right? And he's bent over and he's like trying to grab some like stuff off the floor. He's trying to grab a sneakers, right? Right, right. He's getting grinchy. I come behind him.

Yeah, right. He's like grinch. He's picking up shit, putting it in a bag. I come up behind him. Ah! And I give him the old. The old Rambo? The old jugular cut.

And he bleeds out. All over my sneakers now. I ruined them. That was a big mistake. I didn't think about that. But he bleeds everywhere, right? I don't go to jail. Crimes over.

Well, he's dead. And then like, you know, whatever, I go on with my life. Do I have to pay for that cleaning job? Yeah, of course. It's personal. It's personal. I feel like the city should cover blood. The city should cover blood.

Criminal blood. Yeah. They should cover. Have you ever seen like a crime scene, like a real one? I didn't like inspect it. No, no, I'm not saying like you nailed down and like touched it like fucking Horatio from CSI. Yeah, you're like, this is new.

It's gunpowder. It's still hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can tell by the spatter, it was from this angle. I have seen a crime scene, you know, the yellow tape and you have the little cards. It's like this is section 19, 20. People bleed a lot.

Well, there's a lot of blood in there, buddy. Well, when I was working at Old Place, I don't want to say where it was. I don't want to give them bad publicity. It was a comedy club, though. And there was some blood. There was, you ever hear of a bar called Tonic? Yeah.

Okay, so. Tonic East? Yeah. The rooftop? Yeah. Love that place. You're not going to love it after this, though. Well, the one on Broadway.

That's not. That's Tonic West, I believe. Okay, yeah, I don't know. All right, so they're all like big ones. Around three o'clock in the morning, some dude got shot out there. And he got his head blown off there. And then it was all over this newsstand.

Like, you know those metal newsstands? It's like peanuts and vapes and shit like that. So I walked over there because the place where it is, two stores down, like two storefronts down, was where Tupac got shot the first time. The head factory. So I was like, damn, everyone gets shot in this neighborhood. But I walked over there and see how much,

there was blood everywhere. Yeah, motherfuckers bleed. It's kind of scary how much a human body bleeds. Scary? Yeah, dude. Like, if you saw somebody bleeding, like bleeding out. Think about how much blood they're fucking using. That's a lot of blood.

I know. You got a whole bunch of blood in you. It's just weird that our body holds blood and pumps it. Yeah, but. I would rather have more blood than less blood. Because if I fall down pretty hard, I start bleeding. I'm like, and you get some blood down your arm and you want little blood.

You could die from this. That's true. I need a lot of blood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? So the other thing too is like, I had a dream actually that I gave blood. You had a dream that you're like.

Like no, like donated blood. A good person? Yeah, I had a dream that I like to help people. I had a dream that I like helped out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was so awful. But I don't think I could give blood. I'm afraid to like donate blood.

I've done it before and I almost passed out. Okay. You think you could donate blood? Yeah, I'm out here donating blood. You've done it before? Yeah. Ew. I haven't done it since high school.

I don't want to make it seem like I'm donating every other week. I don't think I could do it. Do you know your blood type? Yeah. I don't know my blood type. I think that's useless information for now. Well, no, it's not.

Because if you're like, oh, positive, like you're like a universal donor or something. I'm B something. If I'm being honest, I don't know if I want to be a universal donor. No. Are you a donor on your license? No.

I am, but I want to get myself taken off. Yeah, fuck that, dude. I don't want to help anyone. No, no, no. I'm here for me is what I'm trying to say. I just don't want to show up to my funeral all cut up. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, or like, oh, he's a donor.

Give him 10 before you work on him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. So I don't know. There's like a lot of things out there of like, if you're a donor, they're just going to pull that plug on you. Yeah.

And just let you die so they could donate your fucking brain to science or give your like liver some kids. I'd be down to donate my blood to science. Blood to science. Down. They don't want that blood. No, they don't want this.

It's all sugary. But I'd be down to donate my brain to science. Definitely don't want that. No. Set the human race back like five generations, but it's fine. But no, I think I would. I think I would.

How does all come from sleeping positions? I don't know. We talk about dying. Oh yeah, that's true. We always talk about dying. I'm the more morbid one of us, I'd say. Yeah, you're pretty gross. I'm pretty dark.

I'm pretty gross and dark. You're darker than me. Yeah. Not only skin tone. But in the brain. In the head, yeah. Yeah, in the head, yeah. You're a darker man.

For sure. I got the darker anus though. Yes, you do. You have a dark anus. Actually yours is brown, mine's purple, so. Yeah, my nipples are brown. Your nipples are, they're out. Did you take a gander at my nipples yesterday?

Oh, I was, yeah, I could. This guy checked me out yesterday. Hey, you popped the top, so I'm looking. I'm not, see, here's one thing I want to say. Okay. For all my fellow thick, thickums out there, all right? My thick mamas, my thick mommies, and my thick poppies. Don't be afraid to pop that top.

No, pop it the fuck off. Pop the top, dude. You don't think anybody could see, like listen, if you're a thick guy, I could see it in your sweatshirt, right? You're a thick guy. You're wearing a shirt. I could see it.

I could see it. I'd own it. Own it, pop it off. Pop it the fuck off. People that go swimming with shirts. I'm disappointed in you. Disappointed in you. I'm disgusted, honestly.

I hate wet clothing. And I can see the outline of your titties. I got titties too, bro. Let those titties get soaked. Let those titties get fucking soaked. That's what I'm saying. I would get the fucking t-shirt off. It should be a rule.

It should be a rule. You should not be able to wear tops as a guy in a pool. I agree. Someone's going to come after us, but I don't care. Fuck that. I am a member of the thick community. Yeah, fuck you. Because I'm a member of the thick community and I pop my top.

Not afraid. Right. And I am just someone who has an opinion. As a twink, I like to see. He likes to see very men with their shirts off. Because there are a couple of times that we were talking. I hate when you talk to people and they do this. They do a quick glance down.

They do a quick glance. Wait, what are you talking about? Like they do a quick glance. Like if I'm talking to you, right? Shirtless? Anything. Take a quick look at your teeth. You could tell, you know?

Oh, they're checking you out. Yeah, yeah. Just look at my eyes. Think about girls who have big titties. I know. That's true. Glancing. Yeah.

But you know, long glances. So yeah, like this, you know what I'm saying? Fucking Hawkeye glances. Yeah, like staring contest. Because yesterday you checked me out a little bit. Of course. Yeah, you checked me out. And I saw you looking at my nipples.

You gander at my nips. Nipples, dude. Word of the day, Gander. That's the word of the day. We got some trouble here. No, it's just the word of the day, Gander. No, it's fine. Dude, nipples, though.

It's hard not to, you know, it's hard not to see. Yeah, but you looked for the color. You wanted to see, you know. I didn't look for the color. The color was just staring at me in the face. I would say my nipples are more like a chestnut. Or maybe even walnut. You know what?

Your nipples are like log cabin brown. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? They're welcoming. Like an aspen collar on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're nice. They're a nice color.

They're good. They're good brown. You have. I want to like light them on fire. Right. And drink hot chocolate. You know what I'm saying? Totally.

Right after a long day of skiing. What's your? Oh, boy. Oh, that's funny because it's true. Oh, yeah. What's your cuddle game like? Are you a good cuddler? Oh, yeah.

You are? Are you a big hole? Do you like face to face laying down? Oh, I hate it. Hate it. You know why? I don't want to smell you. Your breath sucks.

Your breath sucks. Anyone's breath sucks. And my breath sucks too. My breath is terrible. And when it comes to girls, it's like your breath's going to be better than mine. Hopefully. But maybe not.

But maybe not. And I don't want to sleep. First of all, I'm inhaling your breath. I'm not getting enough oxygen because I'm getting your carbon monoxide. Is that dioxide? I was going to help you. You got it.

Thank God I changed that. Yeah, it's OK. But I don't like to. And then I have to try and change my breathing pattern because I don't want to be breathing in when you're breathing out because now I'm sucking in you. Yes. Ew, ew, ew.

Yeah, I'm sucking you in. I do. I'll constantly, like if I'm holding, I'll push that and put my hand almost on top like that. Is that you're putting someone's head on it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can breathe. So I can breathe and not have to smell your sleepy mouth.

Yeah, I don't want to smell your throat. No, I don't want to smell your sleepy mouth. And you don't want to smell this either. No, I would not want anyone. Like even in the morning, I don't even like kissing in the morning. Yeah, I'm not a big no. Dude, my mouth is frozen in the morning.

Sometimes there's like white shit around my fucking. Do you drool? I don't know. You've never seen like drool stains on your pillows? Oh, no, not stains. I drool, I drool. On your pillows? Like a French bulldog?

Yeah, I am. That's basically what I am. Jesus Christ. It's a lot of drool. Because I'll just be like, damn, dude, I shot all the way up here. Oh, that's drool. Oh, you thought you jizz on your own pillow? Yeah.

You ever jizz on your own stuff and you're like, I know that's jizz, but I can't change my sheets right now. You have multiple times. Do you roll around the jizz or do you stay your land? Roll around the jizz. I'll form my body, say this is the jizz, right? I'll form my body just so I'm not laying on the jizz. At some point, I'm going to lay on the jizz.

You're going to lay on that jizz. Yeah, but I'm going to start out off of it. I can't lay on wet jizz. All right, so I'm trying to think how you lay then. So without the jizz, just normal. Do you do this? Do you do that in your arms up? Like how I go to sleep?

Yeah, where are your arms when you sleep? Do you go one arm under the pillow? Or do you do this? Map it out. Yeah, get on the floor. Yeah, say you're about to go to sleep. You bring your arm up to your other shoulder? That's weird.

I know, straight. What am I doing? I put my arm through the pillow, and I'm like this. See, that'll just make my arm fall asleep immediately. Yeah, man, I'll be laying on it. And then when you wake up in the night and your arm's dead, so you just, oh yeah, I think you think I'm just having a stroke every fucking night.

I can't feel it. I actually love that, though. When my arm falls asleep, I'm like, yes, because I get to just throw it around, and then I don't feel anything. And then you just hang it off the side, and you can feel the blood rush to it. Oh, I love that.

You know what's weird, how people sit doggy style on couch? How does one sit doggy style? Indian style, I meant. Oh, sitting doggy style? You know how people sit Indian style on couches? Hippies. Why do you do that? I don't know.

People who read do that. Yeah, they do. They love that. It's very welcoming, I guess, for them. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like people who like they burn sage. Yeah. They're Indian styling.

I haven't sat Indian style in so long. I try to sit Indian. Well, I do it when I do yoga at the end, but I'm not voluntarily sitting Indian style. I don't even know the last time I Indian styled. See, when I lay down, I do like a one leg this way. One leg's kind of out this way. Yeah.

That's how I like to lay. Yeah. Sometimes when I wake up, I'm like a victim of a murder. Like, I'm just, yeah, almost Jesus. That's pretty good, though. You know what I'm saying? I spread it out. Do you shower as soon as you wake up?

Not always. Do you shower when you go to sleep? Not always, but I, like, my shower schedule is usually, I'll shower. Schedule again? Schedule? Oh, I thought you said schedule. Schedule.

My shower schedule. That's like kind of, it could be the way it could be said, though. Schedule? Yeah, if you think about it, shuh, shuh, shuh. It's not schedule. Schedule. No, it's schedule.

It could be schedule. But it's not. But it could be. But it cannot if it isn't. Then if it, something has to be it, what it is. It could be, it can't, because it's not. It has to be it. What it is, schedule.

It can't be anything else, because that's what it is. Are you understanding? It can't be what it's not. Let me save you the trouble. Motherfucker. It's schedule. Do you say motherfucker or motherfucker? Depends if I'm angry or not.

You say motherfucker. Motherfucker? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I say that like joking around. But if I'm angry, man, I don't know. I really hope I don't say motherfucker, because I feel like that's such a white lacrosse play. Yeah, but I think.

Are you kidding me, motherfucker? That's how you could tell your race is by how you curse. Yeah, but I'm not that white when I get mad, if that makes any sense. Look at me. Like, I'm white as shit. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you're a white guy.

But I have an accent, sort of, especially when I'm angry. So I don't, I'm not really like, oh, damn, flabbit. Dagnabbit. That's fucking. Pean me off, man. Pissing me off. People say fucking. I hate that.

It's fucking. It's fucking. Don't say fucking. No, don't fucking. I'm fucking mad. I'm like, whoa. Take it easy, Theodore. Relax, Gerald.

Bradley, take it down a notch. Good lord. I'm fucking. I'm fucking mad. I'm fucking mad. I am fucking angry. Motherfucker. People only say that if they're mad, like, in Target.

Yeah. I am fucking upset. Have you ever yelled in a store? No, I'm a fucking human. I've yelled in a store. What? Yeah. Why did you yell?

So how do you sleep again? Why did you yell in a store, a public store with people? I don't really want to do this. It was dumb. Yeah. Oh, the fucking. This was on sale yesterday. It's kind of, no, it's kind of along those lines.

Remember Radio Shacks? Yes. OK. Do they still, I don't think they have them anymore. I don't even know what they would sell at this point. I don't know. But so I went in the Radio Shack, and they told me that I could trade in my old iPhone

towards a new one. Oh, yeah. So this time I had the iPhone 4. And it was on their list of trade-in-able fucking devices. Hell, yeah. So I go in there, and I'm like, hey, man, trying to get up to this 5. I got the 4, which is the previous model.

And they're telling me that I have a camera issue, and it's not going to be able to go towards that. Now I'm blood starting to boil a little bit. OK. Because the guy gets on the phone, he's got to call a corporate. He's got to call headquarters now. He's got to call somebody.

Yeah, he's got to say, hey, listen, you know, we got something this. It might be able. So now he tells me that I'm covered by AppleCare, so I got to go to an Apple, get it fixed, then come back, then I can trade it in. This made you yell? No, because the thing that made me yell was

is that when I got to the Apple store, they couldn't fix it. And they wouldn't give me a new phone. So Radio Shack sent me to Apple. Apple told me to go fuck myself. And then I went to Radio Shack and told them that they said that they couldn't fix it, and they still wouldn't let me trade it in. So I told them to go fuck themselves.

What did you yell? Verbate them. This is fucking bullshit. You said fucking. I said fucking. Because you were a white person angry. This is fucking bullshit. Yeah, you got white angry.

And then I was like, dude, all I want, and then I had to go to Boost Mobile. Boost Mobile was the only thing that would take my phone. That makes sense. Yeah, it does. It's probably didn't take a finger or a limb. Yeah. It's like, what else are you selling?

Gold? Yeah, but I don't yell in stores. I yell on the phone. I'm a big yeller at people on the phone. Yeah. Yeah, you're great on the phone. I'm fantastic. And I also get like, I'm amazing at getting deals.

Yeah. You know? Because you're good at complaining. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a fantastic complainer. Yeah. This phone right here, no, the one before this. To get this phone, the other phone,

I complained so much at Sprint, they fucked up, and I got the phone for free. My Apple Watch, Verizon, they fucked up. I got that for free. Because when I got Verizon, here's why. Who is this man? No, because when I went to Verizon, I got my watch, the Apple Watch.

And they were like, oh, yeah, don't worry about it, because I'm on wing. Best cell phone service in the world, by the way. I don't know. But I was on wing. So I went to wing, and I was like, hey, guys, what's going on? Do you guys have Apple Watch plans yet?

We don't have them yet, but we're going to get them. So I was like, OK, so let me go to Verizon and see what I can do. So I went to Verizon, and they were like, hey, what's up, man? How's it going? I was like, hey, I want an Apple Watch. And they were like, oh, that's great, that's cool. All right.

But I don't have Verizon. So they're like, don't worry about it. We'll set up a dummy phone account for you. We'll get you all set. We'll get you squared away. I'm like, this is great. Thanks a lot. Turns out it's impossible.

So I call Verizon, and I am flipping a fucking shit. I'm going nuts. I'm like, yo, I just fucking entered this fucking plan. This fucking watch was $500. Now you're saying I can't connect it to my fucking phone? This fucking bullshit. So they fucking caved. And somebody sold it to me under false pretenses.

I was able to keep it. And I got refunded. Wow. Yeah. You are a master of the dark arts. I am a master of the dark arts of complaining. I'm big into it, too. It's like one of my favorite things to do.

Danny's a big time complainer. He's just very good at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And honestly, he's so good at it that anytime I have to complain, he does it for me. Yes, that's true. He actually goes out of his way to be like, yo, you want me to call them?

Something that's not a big deal. He's like, I'll call them. I had these internet people out here like that. Yeah, you did. Fucking barking on those fucking people. Oh, real quick, because we were talking about showering. How many times do you use your towel? What?

To dry myself? Of course you use a towel. But like in what? Like how many times? Like one, one towel, a towel, a towel. Yes. How many times will you use that single towel before you're like this towels is yucky gross?

I don't know. Because you're the only guy living here. You could use that towel 15 times. No one would know. Oh, I would never use it 15 times. Give me a realistic number. Six? Ew!

I'm counting like, so like that's like three days. Wait, wait, wait. Six times? If you shower twice a day. Yeah, it's still getting you six times on that ass. And that dick. My dick's clean at that point. No, you're not.

You're showering. Washing my dick, and then I just dry. Then why do people wash towels? If you're always clean when you get out of the shower, why do people wash towels? Because they get dirty. No, because the water, if it stays in that material. Come on, fucking Bill Nye.

Give me this fucking science experiment. No, I actually met Bill. He's a very nice man. Did you meet him once? I did. He was kind of a dick. Oh, man. That sucks.

That ruins it for me. Right. Fuck you, Bill. Come on the show. He had like a broken leg at the time. No wonder. He's probably a little perked out. Yeah, he's probably a fucked up.

Bill Nye, the perked out guy. No, but yeah, I'll probably use it like six times. But I've met, I've met tires. That's gross, though. You have mad tires? That's dope. Did I say tires? Yeah, I think so.

What's wrong with me? It's all right. I only have four. You only have four towels? Tires. Oh, how many towels do you own? Like seven, eight? You are so full of shit.

Every time I've showered here, there's never been a shower. One time I had to shower here. And guess what my towel was? The under thing where he puts his, like where you put a Christmas tree and you put the thing out there? That's what I had to use as a towel. But why did you have to use that?

Because all my stuff was at the laundry. I'm not buying it. That day, I was like, yo, I literally this morning went to the laundromat and dropped off all my shit. The only thing that I could use paper towels and the thing you place under your Christmas tree to catch pine needles. That's so funny.

I remember that. Yeah. It was terrible. Yeah, I'm not great with a laundry. That's my weakest point in my life. And you don't even do your own laundry, which is even crazier to think about. Right.

Wait, why is that? How are you bad at laundry when someone comes and gets it and does it? No, I have to drop it off. Why? Because it's right there. I don't want to pay someone to drive two blocks. Oh my god.

What? Just have them pick it up, dude. It's two blocks. I leave the fucking house to go to the gym every morning. Yeah, but every time you get out, I've seen your laundry bags. This kid one time was like, hey, man, can you bring my laundry reel down to the place, which was right next to your apartment, which was fun.

Yes, it did. Never happened. I did it. You did it without me asking. All right, whatever. You were like, yo, listen, man, I got to do these things today. So I said, I'm going to take my laundry, and then we'll do this. But at this moment in our lives, I was like kind of more

of a system, Danny, at that time. You know what I'm saying? I was like, listen, things got to get done. You got to make sure they're good done. I don't want to get here because then I'm done. And then I got to go look for another job and get that done. You know what I'm saying? So I was like, hey, let me figure this out.

Let me take the initiative. Maybe you'll like me more. Right here, we were still getting to know each other. So I'm looking at it. I'm saying, this laundry's got to go down the street. Shit you not. 70 pounds of laundry. 70 pounds.

I had to carry like a small bear. You know why it's 70 pounds? A lot of towels. You do not have seven towels. I think I do. You have four towels. No, I don't. Not even close.

And your towels fucking suck, dude. Well, they're from Amazon. Yeah, they're terrible towels, dude. Because like, what is a good towel? How much time you got? What does that mean? Now you're a towel connoisseur? No, I just have great towels.

Where'd you get them? Bed bath? No, no, no, no, no. That would be a good place to get them. They do. I have some from Bed Bath. But a lot of them were gifts from my fiance's parents. So they're nice towels.

How many towels you got? At least 30. So why is it crazy that I have seven? Because I have 23 more. See, I had to do the math real quick. So I had to do, I have 23 more towels than you. So even if 30 towels. Why on earth would you need 23 fucking towels?

Because people shower. Do you have a closet? Just dedicated to those? Yes. And I'll send you a picture. When this episode comes out, I'll post my towel pic. That's out of control. I'm one person.

OK, I am one person too. I'm a bigger person. Yeah, but you don't need three towels to cover that whole thing. Like a bigger towel. One and a half towels. One and a half towels. Yeah, maybe a beach towel. Sometimes.

Sometimes. I beach towel it. Do you beach towel? When it's like, I haven't done laundry in a while, you got to use a beach towel. Oh, hell yeah. I will refuse to use a beach towel. They're terrible.

I hate beach towels. They're disgusting. When you use a beach towel, have you ever used the logo side? I hate when people do that. Like the side you lay on? Yeah, the logo side would be like some dude who was cool in the 90s and it's on there. And there's the white side underneath.

I hate when people dry themselves with the logo side. I don't dry myself with a beach towel because it feels gross on my body. I just let the sun take care of it, do its job. I hate the beach. Yeah, I'm not crazy about it. I like Miami Beach. Yeah.

New York Beach, though. Eat my anus. My biggest pet peeve about the beach is leaving the beach. Yeah, because all my shit is chafing and sticking. Yes. And there's sand in my cracks. And then your feet are all sandy. Yeah, the webs of my feet have sand in them.

And then everyone's waiting for that stupid little foot shower. Foot shower? It's terrible. I can't stand it. My ass cheeks are just like making fire back there. Yeah, they're terrible. I use a towel twice, then toss.

So one day, and then you throw it out? Well, if I had 30 fucking towels, I'd do that too. No, I could use a towel, and then I'll put it back. Dude, using a towel six times is gross, man. I'm just letting you know. I'm not trying to be a dick. That's fine. I came on this show to be truthful to people.

I don't lie to anybody. And I don't think there's anything wrong with it. You think I'm lying? No, I'm saying I'm not lying. Oh, it's about the same. I'm getting judged here. I said some real truthful shit on here, shit that I can't even get back.

Listen. Butt stuff, poop-related incidents. Yeah. I can't get it. I can't get it in my back. My life's all over. Listen, I'm telling truth. I could never get a regular job ever again.

Because you shit on the floor when you were three? Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Tell me why you use it six times. Because I honestly don't think it's that crazy of a thing. I like to have fresh towels. So I have like six or seven of them. Right?

It's not always six times. All right. And that's why I run out so fast. Because sometimes I'm just like, oh, I'm just going to fucking get used to a new one. Right. You know what I'm saying? Because there's a fucking closet in there

where I put all the towels. Where do you put your towels post use? Floor? Most of the time it's on the floor. Yeah, I'm a big floor guy, too. A lot of hates that shit, but whatever. It's just that face you made. No, most of the time it's on the floor.

But I would say like 40% of the time I put it back. Like you'll hang it. Well, yeah, I'll put it back on the right. Yeah, see, you're better than me than that. I'm like, no. But I'm usually snatching it up off the floor. Or it's like on my bed. Yeah.

Oh. Why is that gross? You're putting a wet towel on your bed, dawg. It's not soaking wet, though. It's your body out of the shower. It's wet. It's not soaking wet. It's wet.

It's not soaking wet. It's wet. What? Did you just burp? I did. What's the most unattractive thing a girl could say to you sexually? That came out of nowhere.

Like if a girl says, I'm so fucking wet, I think it's hot. Yeah, who finds that gross? All right, but if she's like, oh my god, I'm so ready for your penis, that's weird. The use of penis is not great. Penis should never be used during sex. Unless? Well, the actual penis should be used.

But I'm saying the word penis, word of the day. We're going to change that to penis. Penis, I would say penis is acceptable if you are under the age of 20. And it's your first to fourth time having sex. First to fourth time. After four times, you can't say penis in the bedroom. You can, but it's just.

Because if a girl was like, I can't wait to suck your penis, then I would laugh. I would laugh too. I'll be like, I cannot wait to just kiss your vagina. I'm going to smooch that vagina so well, so greatly. Yeah, that hurts me. Don't say penis or vagina in the bed. What do you prefer?

We have nicknames. What do you prefer? You like cock? You sick fuck? Why am I a sick fuck? Everyone enjoys a cock. You can't go cock every day. No, no.

It's got mostly dicks in there. Put a good cock on your birthday. Hands on the head. It's better than a cock on your birthday. Look at that cock. It's like, now we're getting something. Hands on the table real quick. Quick lie detector.

Three questions. Have you ever said, suck my cock in bed? No. I'm a big dick guy. Hold up. Let me feel it. You can't. Oh, you think you are.

I'm fucking up. What's the face of me with the parents? Let me see. I can't reach that far. The shirt's tight. Yeah, it is tight. We'll do it next time. All right.

Hands back on the table. OK. Have you ever said? Have you ever said, suck my cock in bed? I have not. OK. Have you ever said, spit on my cock in bed? I'm not a cock guy.

Have you ever said, spit on it in bed? Yeah. OK. Have you ever said? Hands down, please. OK. What is this? Have you ever said?

Have you ever said, dethrone it? I assume. That's a yes. All right. OK. All right. You want me to go? All right, here.

I'll be just using the same questions. Whatever you want. Come at me. I'm going to be honest. OK. Hold on, OK. I don't want to trip meter. OK, here we go.

There's no scale here, so. Have you ever said, daddy like? No. I've never said daddy in bed ever. Has anyone said it to you? No. Have you ever said, you like that cock, don't you? I've said things along the lines of that, yes.

You have your cock guy? Not a cock guy. Dick guy? Yeah. I'm a dick guy. Well, there's only like two choices, really. Dick and cock. Well, penis, too.

Well, no one uses that. You like that penis? Like, what? I'll say yes, but it wouldn't be nice if you didn't use it. But I'll say yes, but not cock. Oh, I got a question for you. Have you ever like messed up dirty talk once? Yeah.

You said something like, oh, it doesn't make any sense. Am I still a lie detector? No, no, no, no, no. Take your hands off. That's a yes, but yeah. What did you say? Do you remember? I remember just like, oh my god, her mom listens to the show.

Oh, don't do this. Yeah. Forget it. This is too crazy. But no. But what was it? It was like, I remember when we were having sex. And while we were doing it, I was like,

I'm trying to remember word for word. We were kind of like doggy style. Then I was like, I was like flip over so you could take this dick or something. And then as it came out of my mouth, I was like, who am I? Flip over so you could take this dick? My dick's not takeable. It's, you know, it's shareable.

There's no preparation going on. Yeah, it's shareable. Right, it's not a feat. Yeah, yeah. You don't have to train for this. Yeah, my dick is like a New York Times article. It's easily shareable. It's a nice walk.

It's a hike. Yeah, it's a brisk walk. It's a brisk walk. Brisk walk. Right. It's not a climb. But the way I said it was like so violent. Well, sometimes you get a little crazy on there.

I feel like everyone sometimes says a lot of stuff in there and they become way more aggressive than they actually are. I think aggressive sex. I think sex is amazing because you can express how much you care about somebody through physical acts, you know? Daniel O'Priori, everybody. I'm just saying, you make them feel loved with your mouth

and your penis. I don't believe anything that's coming out of my mouth. I honestly can't believe we just did that. Let's get to the advertisements. All right, I got to type in my password here. Big titties three. Nice. Big titties three.

I got to change that. All right, the first one we have here is quip. Quip electric toothbrush. This is my toothbrush that I use. Everyone knows it. If you've seen me on my Instagram stories, you know, I have that shit rocking, OK? Rockin'.

Got a gold handle. Shit is fire. Anyway, the new quip electric toothbrush is the best toothbrush on the market. I'm not reading right now. I'm just trying to find a point where I can read. It has a built-in two-minute timer that pulsates. Pulsates?

Pulsates. Pulsates. They have pulses, but I think it's pulsates. Pulsates, it pulsates. Pulsates, same thing. Every 30 seconds, it reminds you when to switch sides to help you clean your mouth. Two minutes, which is the dentist-recommended time

to brush your teeth. And for me, I just like it just because of the sizing of it. Sometimes you get a big toothbrush, and it feels like I'm brushing my gums. Yeah, I don't like that. And I'm like bleeding and shit. So I don't like that. So it's nice.

It comes with a battery. The best part about it, where the fuck is it? Whatever. I already know it. The best part about it is that I believe it's every three months a dentist-recommended. You get new brush heads that get sent to your house for just $5.

All right? And 75% of us use old, worn-out bristles that are ineffective. Yucky. All right? So that's why we need those three months, new brush heads. Dentist-recked. Dentist-recommended.

Direct. Excuse me? They're direct. They're direct. They're dentist-recommended? OK. Got it. But yeah, so I like the new brush heads,

because it feels like having a toothbrush every three months with quip. So it's very nice. And it's only $5. But anyway, right now, you can see why you try out quip. See what the talk is about? Quip just starts at $25. If you go to getquip.com slash basement right now,

you can get your first refill pack for free. That's your first refill pack for free at getquip.com slash basement, G-E-T-Q-U-I-P.com slash basement. And like I said, so $25 to get that shit. And then every three months, $5 for those brush heads. Next, we have Postmates, which is basically like having your personal food delivery, grocery delivery, whatever you want delivery dude on call 24-7 all year round.

Anything you want from anywhere. I've used Postmates to get like an Xbox headset, because my shit was shattered. I don't know why it was. Someone broke it. We're fighting. But I had to send the guy to GameStop. I don't even know where GameStop is,

but you just type in like, yo, need a headset. It's good. Then the guy gets it before he drops it off at your shit. So there's no more trips to the store. You don't even have to, like I said, you don't even have to know where the store is. Doesn't matter. Just type it in.

Just type it in. It'll get there like within the hour or something. You know what I'm saying? Download the app for iOS or Android for free. Browse local restaurants and businesses and track your delivery in real time. OK, it's very, very nice. For a limited time, Postmates is giving our listeners

$100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days to start your free deliveries. Download the app and use the code Basement. All right? So that's $100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days. Start your deliveries. Download the app, Postmates, and put in the code Basement

for all that. All right? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I'm trying to work on like, you know, like cool stuff to do in between the ads. Because like, sometimes you need to take a breath. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know.

It's a lot. It's a lot. So if I could throw in like a little bit like, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I like that. Just kind of break it up for you. We got one more. So you can help me out right now.

The last one we have for today is a new sponsor, The Farmer's Dog. Farmer's Dog. You feel me? The company helping dogs live longer, healthier lives by making it easy and convenient to feed them fresh food. Me and Danny have dogs. We do.

I would ideally like for them to live to be 2,000 years old. Yeah, I think Eli is probably going to be 700 when he goes. Probably around there. And you can do that. I'm not going to promise you. Your dog's not going to live to 700. But they could live longer, healthier lives with the right food.

Because, you know, that's one thing that, as dog parents, you have to look into is what you're feeding your dog. It's the most important thing. Exercise and their nutrition. Because it's just like anything else. There's bad food you could eat and there's good food you could eat. It's just like that for dogs. Their recipes are made from fresh and delivered,

are made fresh and delivered directly to your door. All you have to do is complete a short questionnaire and a personalized, developed meal plan is created for your dog. The meal arrives in pre-portioned, easy to serve packs. And because they're delivered by subscription, you'll always have food on hand, which is another great thing. Because there are times where I'm like, oh god, don't have dog food in the house?

Eggs. Eggs for the dog. I've scrambled many times being like, oh my gosh. He does not have food. And the poor thing is just like, there's more food there. Yeah, I know, it's terrible. Clever marketing has given spent owners to equate unhealthy and high-process kibble with food.

But unlike kibble, the farmer's dog actually looks and smells like real food, because it is real food. And food matters. Study shows that even adding a bit of fresh food to your dog's diet can reduce cancer risk by 90%. 90. Holy tips. You said tips?

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Just go to thefarmersdog.com. Slash basement. Again, 50% off your two-week trial. That's thefarmersdog.com. Slash basement. Farmersdogs. I'm reading the face from all those ads. Yeah, yeah.

Farmersdogs live a long time. Apparently. They always send dogs to the farm. Did your parents ever tell you that? What? Yeah, we're sending what's-his-face-to-the. We left them on a farm, upstate. What is that?

Like when a dog dies, each lie to your kid and tell them that? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I'm going to get a dog for my child. That's a lie. I'm going to have a dog. You don't think you're going to get a dog for your kid? I am.

You're an idiot. I think that Charlie. Charlie's only three. That's what I'm saying. I should have kids within the next seven, eight years. Nine. He's going to be like probably 12 to 15. Keep adding years.

Keep coming. No, I'm saying like, I'm saying how old he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's going to live to be 12 to 15 or something. So I'll have kids within that time. My parents just got a doodle. Fire. Yeah.

Chocolate doodle. Chocolate doodle. Chocolate doodle. My brother has a golden doodle. Chocolate daddy. Chocolate daddy. Chocolate fucking daddy. I'm proud of every one of those units.

I'm proud of every one of those units. By the way, I wanted to talk about this, because I don't know if you were going to bring it up, but I just remember that you were telling me about this yesterday, but apparently there's a website out there where you're able to buy and sell panties. Oh, yeah, pantydeal.com. This isn't an ad, but I know someone that sells their panties.

You know someone that sells their panties. Yeah, personally, they sell their panties. On that website. Used panties. Yeah. So what happened? What kind of used are we talking? We're talking about workouts?

It's whatever you want. Oh, I could get my own panty. Yeah, you customize whatever you want to panty. You could be like, hey, I want you to go food shopping in this, and they'll do it. How would you know? You just smell the produce aisle? Yeah, I guess.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I want you to run errands in these and send them to me. Then there's ones like, I want you to go do yoga. Ooh, those are some wet panties. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want you to go to the gym and work out at them. And then some of them order period panties. Whoa.

Yeah. It gets weird. P panties? P panties. Squirt panties. Period panties? Masturbation panties. Masturbation panties.

Yep. All that. Wait, there's pee panties? Yeah. So you just like, yo, can you do me a favor? Piss yourself. Yeah. And then you send it away.

How much are they getting? Good amount. Can I catfish this site? Yeah. So I could have pictures of a hot girl, and then I'll wear the panties. Yes, you could. And I'll piss at them.

Yeah. And I'll ship them out. Yeah, you could. You could. How much would you sell a piss panty for? My piss panty? Let's set our prices right now. Let's talk about our panties, all right?

By the way, what is a panty? How is that different from underwear? A thong goes up your ass. No. Yeah, that's a cheese trick. That's a thong. Well, yeah. But panties are usually like.

They cover some cheek. They cover your cheek. OK, so some cheekage. So there's more stuff to smell, I guess, you fucking creeps. All right, so let's just say. If I'm regular panty. I'm starting a profile. First, what's your profile name?

I don't know. Mine's Thick Mama with X's. Like Thick's, like Twix. Oh, Thick's Mama? Yeah, Thick's Mama. You're Thick's Mama. Thick's Mama. Three X's.

I don't know who I would be. What's like a slutty name? Rain. Like Eva Couture. Oh, yeah. Damn. I'll buy panties from her. I'm hard.

Eva Couture, so. Eva Couture. I think I would sell. Eva's, she's high. She's high quality, though. Yeah, Eva Couture. Yeah. I wonder if there's any slutty fucking name.

I wonder if there's any celebrities on there. Maybe. We'll make a profile when we go in there. Yeah, yeah. Look it up, but. So Eva Couture and Thick's Mama. Thick's Mama. So yeah.

I think I'll get more traffic because the triple X's. Yeah, that'll do it. But I would probably set my thing at like 50 bucks. Hold on, hold on. Regular panty? Yeah, yeah, yeah, like. Just like, like, you know, just wear this panty for like the day and then just send it to me.

Yeah, you don't have to go out of your way. No. So just a $50 panty. I would sell the panties for 50 bucks, but I would go to like a place like, like a rainbow. Right. Right. And buy like real cheap panties.

Right. And mark them up like dollar panties and sell them for 50 bucks. Oh, I thought you meant mark them up like. Oh, no, no, no. Like pooping them? No, no, no. Poop panties? Yeah, they do that.

Oh my God. Yeah. It's nothing off limits. It's whatever you want. It's whatever you want. Poop panties. Yeah, she's a panty girl. She is a panty girl.

Yeah. But see, like, with stuff like that, like I don't knock people's hustles, though. No, I would, I would poop panties. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah. Well, how much would you sell a poop panty, though? Oh, 70, 80 bucks.

Oh, no, I would go higher. Really? Yeah, I'd probably go higher. Realistically, if a fan hit you up and was like, listen, I want to buy a pair. I know. I'm not. Yeah, entertain it.

No, I'm not. See, don't be a pussy. I'm not being a pussy. Is it different? I feel like there are times on here where we get to these certain walls. And I know you want to protect your private life. And I know you don't want to get offers on your underwear.

I'm not pooping panties. I'm not saying poop. I'm just saying, like, your regular underwear that you got on now, we're going to go to a happy hour, right? Yes. You're going to walk around? My perspire a little bit.

Might. For sure. Sweating that up. If somebody was like, yo, I'll give you $1,000 for those underwear. Don't look me in my eyes and tell me you're not going to think about it. No.

Oh, what? Yeah. $1,000? Yeah. That's a hefty. Somebody would do it. I guarantee you somebody would do it along those lines. Maybe not $1,000.

But if somebody offered you to say, hey, what kinds of those? Calvin Klein's. Yeah, you might not. I like these. Those are like. I like these. $1,000 for themselves. They're not.

No. I only wear Calvin Klein, too. I got Calvin's on, too. Nice. Anyway, Calvin Klein's not a sponsor either. Well, we'll take you. Yeah. But you would do it.

Sell $1,000. Yeah. Sell $1,000. Just sell my panties. And you could donate to charity or something lame. I wouldn't do that. I'm keeping that money. How rich do you have to be to start,

you could only donate shit to charity? I will never be there. You're not at the point. You're taking the money, right? Oh, I'm taking that money. Yeah. Yeah, no. Also, I think it's kind of disgusting

that I'm selling my panties so I can take care of a sick kid. There's another thing, too. It's like. That's poop money. It's poop money. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had blood money from what you said.

Yeah, they do that. They do it. They do it. Yeah. I can't, man. What is the point? I don't understand. You're a charitable guy, though.

I'm keeping the $1,000. If I got a poop in these panties, fuck those kids. Not even poop. Just walk around. Yeah, those kids in a poop. Oh, god, that was funny. I'm just saying. Fuck those kids.

Oh, god. Oh, man. I'm just saying, if somebody offered me, what's the lowest you would sell your fucking pants for, dude? Well, my pants. No, your underpants, your panties. Yeah. The lowest brand.

Realistically, if somebody DM'd you, nobody knew about it ever. No one finds out. It's not like, yo, it's not like fucking 16 candles. It comes out with the fucking underwear. All right. How much am I selling my panties? Yeah.

It'd be like, hey, I would love to buy the underwear you use today. I don't know. It would have to be a substantial amount, because it feels weird. What would you do it? You know you're getting a DM after this. $600.

I was going to say $800. All right, cool. We're in the same park. We're in the same park. We're in the same tax bracket. I would say $600, because you're going to wear them to sleep and stuff. I think I actually got an offer once

for someone to buy my socks. You make a killing being a sock guy. My feet are trashed, though. Yeah, but people are fucking weird, dude. There's people out here right now that would be willing to buy your socks. There was a guy actually. If you fucking jerk off into them.

I mean, do your thing. Listen, if you need a PIMP, I can help you. You're going to pin me? Yeah, why not? I'll pin those feet. I won't hit you. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what.

You ship them for me. I'll ship them for you. You can be my pin. And give me 10%. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. 10% of my feet. There you go.

We're in the sock business now, boys. We're in the sock business. We're in the sock business. You want these socks? $800. $400 is a sock. Yeah. Danny's going to ship them.

Get a P.O. box. Just some socks. A lot of people always ask us to set up a P.O. box. And I just wanted to address this on the show. No. Because, listen. Moving forward. We love you guys.

Afraid of anthrax, though. That's the only thing. Anthrax. I don't want to get killed. So people being weird is why we don't set up a P.O. box. But we fucking love you people. There was a time where I had a P.O. box and some crazy stuff happened.

I got mailed some crazy stuff. Yeah. And honestly, I don't want anyone to buy me anything. No. That too. And I don't want people spending their hard earned money on mail, unless it's at theSanagatosStore.com. I also don't want handwritten letters,

because I don't want to read. Yes. Just DM me. It's way easier. Save money on shipping. I'm just kidding. No, but I did get some weird stuff. Like, people were sending me food.

Like, oh, these are good Canadian fucking snacks. And I'm like, I'm not eating mails. Male food? Yeah. Male food? No, thank you. I can't. Other thing about the panties.

I appreciate the offer. It's very nice gesture. But for God's sakes, people are putting nails in the candy on Halloween. Yes. I can't trust male food. No, you can't. And I'm a hypochondriac and a germaphobe.

Those are not a good combo. Terrible combo. I'm one of those. I'm a hypochondriac, I'd say. Oh, me too. I'm bigger than you, though. I meant me too for you. Oh, oh, oh.

Like, yeah, I'd say that as well. Yeah, OK. I was about to say. I was like, you're not really hypo. You don't go to the doctor. But I think when it comes to women selling their panties online. I'm all about it.

I don't think people should feel degraded by that. I don't think it's degraded. I don't think it's degrading. I think it's. You know who's gross? The people that are buying it. Yeah. Let them be gross.

Anonymously. And let them be gross. Anonymously. No one's getting hurt. Everyone's gross anonymously. Yeah. You know what I mean? You know?

That's why I think prostitution should be legal. I think it should be regulated. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, like, like, like. Let's get some blood tests in here. 100%, have agencies. Have it all set up real nice. Yeah. And have you.

Nice buildings. Yeah. Freshly painted walls. Fucking waiting rooms. Yeah. Cucumber water in the waiting room. Real nice. I'm a big cucumber water guy.

Yeah. I think prostitution should be legalized in this country. I think so. If it was regulated, it'd be a lot more safe. Yeah. Gambling, prostitution. I vote yes on both. Because.

And weed. And weed. Yeah. Weed should be legal too. If alcohol and cigarettes are legal, why can't vagina be legal? This is insane. You know?

This is insane. And there's also, like, listen, man, like, I'm not hating on some guys out there, but some people have a hard time getting laid, you know? Yeah, so let them pay a couple bucks and fucking slap some tits around. Yeah, dude. Dope tits.

Dope titties. Fire titties, dude. Like, imagine how hotter. Not that. I mean. How hotter. How much hotter prostitutes would be. Yeah.

If it was regulated, like, OK, I know I'm not going to get an STD. I know this person has a good background check. Right. It hasn't been, like, you know, doing a bunch of weird shit. Like, we run background checks and shit. So, you know, probably because there would be some muggin' hot ones over there. Would you ever use, like, I'm not saying this, like.

Would I use a hooker app? Yeah, if there was, like, a prostie app. A prostie app? Yeah. And a regulated world? Yeah, and a regulated world, and you could track them coming to you. So they can't, like, steal from you or anything. Like an Uber?

Yeah, it's like an Uber for, like, prostitutes. How much is it? They set their price. I like to think I wouldn't because I like the challenge. Right. Of what? Of trying to try to get it, like, trying to get a woman. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't like cheating. I mean, I enjoy it. I don't think it's cheating if it's, we're not talking about cheating on your spouse. We're talking about cheating, like, in terms of the system. In system, yeah. Like, I don't have to be like, oh, I want that.

I'll just pay for it. It'll be here. You know what I'm saying? Right, but if it's right. Like, if I liked food shopping, I wouldn't be using, like, these things, but I hate food shopping. So that's why I do that. I don't like doing laundry.

That's why I pay someone to do my laundry. But I like pursuing a woman. I think the ride is fun. Right. But some people aren't as outgoing and capable as you are. They just stole our idea. They just, to fucking Apple, just stole the prostitute app. God damn it.

You fucking blood-sucking fucks. Don't have enough money. I can't believe that. I was creepy, by the way, I was. Yeah, but I think I really, really, really think prostitution should be legal. I agree. You know?

I feel like, at some point, it will be. I don't know. I'm surprised this president hasn't made it legal. But I don't really have my ear to the ground as far as prostitution goes. Yeah. So I don't know. Is that legal in Amsterdam?

Yeah, in the red light district. Yeah, just set up little sex districts. Yeah, they have them in the fucking window, like mannequins. Yeah. That's a little weird, but I mean, let women do what they want with their bodies. You know what I'm saying? Oh.

We'll do it. Let's go. You just touched it. Let's go. You touched it. You put your finger on Alabama, didn't you? Yeah, I did. Fuck those people.

Those people are full of shit. And this is why I'm going to go out on this. My fucking daughter got raped. And I'm being fucking serious. And the law would not allow me or my daughter who wants to get an abortion to get an abortion. Fuck you people. Yeah.

It's not a gift from God. I'm sorry. All right? And we're still talking about this shit. I believe in God. I don't think God would want somebody to get raped and then have a child from it. I'm sorry, but I'm not.

I think this is such an easy thing. It's an easy fucking thing. I can't believe. It's shocking to me. But what happened to separation of church and state? Dude, forget that. What's going on here? Honestly, forget everything.

Just forget all of it. Like, very basic. It's not your kid. I know. And it's not born yet. I know. And listen, don't give me this shit about two weeks. It's this thing.

That baby could not live. OK? It's not going to be alive. It's not a thing. I really just don't agree with it. I just don't agree. I really don't agree with it. Because being pregnant is such a thing.

Yeah. It's not like you're pregnant for three days. It's 10 months of your life. You know what I'm saying? It's really 10 months. I mean, one month there, which I just learned this. One month there, it's like you don't know yet. And then you find out.

So it's really like a. It's basically a whole year of recovery after that. Let's just say a year of your life because you're pregnant. Yeah. And some people don't want to do that. And your answer to that is like, well, then don't have sex. It's like, well, how about don't fucking tell me what to do? Yeah.

How about that? Yeah. Suck my fucking anus. Yeah. I think when it comes to people trying to tell people what to do with their fucking pussies. Dude, women should be able to do whatever the fuck they want with their body.

You're not going through it. I'm going through it. You could give birth to 1,000 kids. That's great. I don't want to. So I'm not going to. Right. And why can't I?

Because you think that I'm murdering someone. How about the fact that if I have this kid that I don't want to have, first of all, I just put my body through a year of shit that I didn't want to do. And I'm forced to do now in our free country here. Right. And now I have to give birth to this kid.

Now I have to give him up on her. Yeah. Give them up, be in the system, bouncing around from houses. Like, why? For what? For what? I didn't want to do this. And now you're like, you could be potentially

ruining someone's life. Of course, you could set up people to be there, to be the parents of the kid, or like, but don't. I'm not into it. I'm not into it. I don't think it's the right thing to do. I think those people should be ashamed themselves. I think it's so easy.

I can't believe this. It's such an easy, it's such an easy question. And people are going to be like, oh, you guys are New York limperones. And this is, no, it's not. Because listen, I don't even know what that means. Yeah. I am just a very simple person.

Yeah. I have a lot of views that are like in every single political party, like blah, blah, blah. I'm not on TV. This kid bounces around the fucking spectrum more than anybody in the world. So I'm saying, I have Republican beliefs. I have Democrat beliefs.

And it just goes back and forth with certain things. But for yo, to see grown adults just being like, nope, I'm red. So everything, I'm just going to believe this just because it's team red. Yeah. Who are you? Seven?

Yeah, it's in the fucking Hunger Games. And this is easy, bro. This is, dude, how are you going to tell a woman to be like, yo, you can't do that? And this is the same reaction I had with the gay marriage thing. When gay marriage is like, what the fuck, who cares? I'm like, why are you mad?

Why are you mad? Oh, because the Bible. It's like, dude, you're fucking your cousin. Yeah. What page is that on? Do you know back in the day, Boston, and I'm not taking a shot at Boston here. I'm just saying where the world was.

You know what? I'm from New York. Fuck Boston. Go Yankees. But they used to have St. Patrick's Day parades. And they wouldn't like gay people marching it. In like the 90s. I know.

You know, if a gay male or female or trans, they want to get married, let them get fucking married, dude. Who gives a shit? Who gives a shit? This is very easy. These are the easy. These should be the first things that are answered and thrown out the window.

You know what, this is like, I feel like if you're People hold meetings on this shit, how old are we? That's what I'm saying. People are eight years old. And I feel like it's like, yo, you sound like a child. Yeah. It's like, I want my way. It's like, you're never going to meet this person.

I know. It's like, oh, gay people getting married. Oh, this is the worst. You might not even see one. Maybe. You're not even going to meet. You don't got to go to the wedding. You don't got to have sex with these people.

No. You don't even got to be friends with them. Yeah. What the fuck? What? I just feel that. It's so fucking stupid. It's frustrating, though.

It's so dumb because it's like, you know how like when you're It makes us as a human race look stupid. It does. Like someone's looking at us from like a fucking foreign planet and just like, what the fuck are they doing? Yeah. Like killing each other over the shit. This is the easy shit.

This is the easy stuff. There's harder things. This is easy. Basic human rights. Like it's just easy, dude. I don't understand. It's just people like, yo, you have to live by my rules. It's like, I just don't want you to murder.

Yeah. Everything. Murder, don't. Don't murder. Don't steal. Don't murder and don't rape. Yeah. All right.

That's all you got to do. That's it. Just don't do that. All right. I would even be OK with some stealing. Yeah. To survive, maybe don't hurt anybody. That's what I'm saying.

Don't steal over $500 worth of valuables. Yeah. Don't go. No grant larceny. Keep it at Mr. Mainers. Don't murder, don't assault, don't rape. Yeah. That's all I'm asking.

But marry the door. I don't care. Marry a fork. Yeah. I don't. Why should I care? I would never know. Curveball.

Can a guy marry a dog? As long as he's not having sex with a dog. There we go. It's going to catch you in a trick question. No, you can't fuck dogs. No. You marry the dog. If you want to have a civil union with your dog, go for it,

man. It's weird. Just don't fuck it. Also, I think a woman married herself. Fire. I could not care less about a thing. Big time power move. How do you?

Gets her own insurance? Fantastic. Talk about narcissism, by the way. Yeah, you are a crazy person. Take it easy. All right. But enjoy your life together with yourself. How does that work?

Yeah, you might want to get another person in there. How did you kiss the bride is my question. That's a great question. How did you do that? It's just another thing on gay marriage, too. It's like, it's just weird that people were just like, oh, no. Oh, you suck, dick. And you're a man.

Oh, you want to get married? You're crazy, man. Imagine. All right, let's go, guys. That was real. Up until recently. It's just, I honestly like. Like gay people pop off.

All jokes aside. And I have honestly no political agenda at all. Nor do I have that much knowledge. All I do. Well, you are voting for me for president in 2020. Well, there is that. I have to do. But the only thing I do have is empathy towards other people

that are living around me. And if you want to do this thing, it's going to make you happy. You want to get married, you want to do this. I just don't understand how people have the time to be bothered by it. Like, I really don't get it. They go out of their way, too.

Yeah, I really don't understand. It would be one thing if like. I don't even know, dude. I can't even think of an example. I just think that people like. Like, I would understand if it was like, oh, if gay people get married, they got to move into your house. You'd be like, well, this directly affects me.

I'd rather not. And you'd have a reason then to be like, I'm really against this because I don't really have room. You know, I had a spare room, but you know, my cousin's got to live here two months out of the year. I understand that, but it doesn't affect you. And the idea of, you know, I even think it's worse with the women with the pregnancy thing

because it's like. That's terrible. That one's so bad. It's so bad. You should be able to do whatever you want. Here's, let me ask you this. It's insane. I might have asked you this question before.

Do you believe in the death penalty? I don't know. I don't. I used to. Like personally, like if something happened to me, I'd be like, I want to fucking fry this fuck. They don't even do that anymore. They just like give you the needle and then you go.

Some places I think they still use the chair, but I'm not sure. I don't know what's the difference of jail and the death penalty. Like in the eyes of victims' families. Well, it's like the person lives and then quote unquote, tax payers have to pay for that person. You know, tax wise we pay for prisons.

Yeah. So my whole thing is when people are like, yeah man, like we're paying tax dollars for these people to like live. I'm like, yeah. So they're not out here fucking your kids. Okay. So they're not out here stabbing your fucking grandmother

crossing the street. All right. People that are rightfully convicted, not wrongfully convicted. I talk about people who are fucking mass murderers. I will pay whatever I got to pay to keep that fucking freak inside. Okay.

I'm not gonna, oh the inmates have better healthcare than we do. Yeah. Cause if they were out here, they fucking eat you. Yeah. I don't care. You know, they all kill each other in there anyway. Yeah.

See for me. I don't, I never understood that argument. Like, yeah, we gotta get the money of these guys. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I believe in the death penalty. I just think it's weird to kill somebody on purpose now. I'm indifferent about it. You know?

But I just feel like it's not personal. If it was personal, I'd be like, I wanna fucking kill him too. I just feel like if you're... But fuck that shit. If you're in prison, I just don't want you to be able to hurt anyone else. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like, and if you're in prison for life, like you can't. And it's like, I don't, you know, that's all I want. You're gonna die there. I'm not like a vindictive person. I don't know if that's the right... Like, I don't like seek revenge. Like, I don't wanna see you like whatever, blah, blah, blah. I just don't want you to like hurt other people.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. After a while. I mean, you fucking hurt someone in my family. I would like to kill you with my ass. Yeah, of course. But it wouldn't be about like, no, I just want him dead, like, blah, blah, blah.

I would like, I just get this fucking guy, like you suffer in prison. It's not like, it's not going to a country. I would go back. Like golf every day. Yeah, I would go back and forth. It's not like he did like tax fraud, you know? This guy fucking killed somebody.

Yeah. You know? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. When it's personal, it's like maybe... Does it also take like 20 years for them to actually kill people on death row? That's what I'm saying.

It's not like it's the next day. They're like, all right, we'll hang you tomorrow, like back in like the 1400s. Hang you in front of the whole town. I don't think it even was that long ago. Yeah, it might have been like the 1700s. Like gangs in New York, they were hanging motherfuckers. Imagine that's so crazy.

Like they would just walk out and hang in the middle of the town. For nothing. In the movie, Gangs of New York, which I'm assuming is based on some historical thing. Why don't you burn them, see if his ashes turn green? I was like, you know, this guy Daniel Daylose is a creep. Yeah.

Talk about freaks. This is a night for America. I want to see it. Yeah. No, but they used to kill people, just leave them in the street and they would just like walk over them. Because it was just so normal

for people to get like stabbed up back then. How would you feel if like you saw somebody get killed in front of you? Oh. Like somebody got like hit by a car in front of you. Like would you be able to eat that? Do you think you would have some post-traumatic stress? I don't think I've had post-traumatic stress, no.

See, I think I would if I knew they died, I saw it. It's very hard for me because it's just the way that I deal with things. And I'm not saying that post-traumatic stress does not exist or anything like that. It's hard for me to imagine me going through it. Yeah, but your brain's like the hurt locker. That's why.

No, it has nothing. This kid's got the fucking. No, because you know what it is. Mental fortitude of a goddamn Marine is good. No, I just think that, you know, I know PTSD is a very real thing. And I know that it's not about how strong you are mentally. It's just something happens.

Right. Traumatically, and then it just has effects, obviously. But it's hard for someone who hasn't had anything like that. There shit has happened to me in my life that some of it, maybe some people would be affected by. But nothing has affected me to that point yet. So it's hard for me to even imagine that. Right.

And I'm not saying I'm struggling up to withstand it. Right. Because that's not true. But it's hard for me to be like, yeah, that would do it. Or yeah, but I don't think that would. Yeah. Is it because you grew up in a big city and people die here all the time?

I don't know. I don't know. Because remember that time I texted you, I was going to that store and that woman was getting compressions done right on the street. Yeah, I feel like I've seen stuff like that before. I thought about that for weeks. And then it kind of just faded away.

But I was like, oh my god. This woman's life is going around. I'm just going into a store. It just really made my mind feel weird. It's just crazy how the world does not stop. Yeah. And dude, you know what it is? Because I understand that.

You know? It's like, oh, people are just getting in caps. I was like, there's a person dying here. Yeah. And you feel like everything should stop. And like, yo, let's just. Yeah. Yeah.

But at the end of the day, dude, we're animals. And if you, and you know, the watching, like the Discovery Channel or any of those like planet or things, it's like you really understand what, like how far humans are than the rest of the animal kingdom. Oh yeah, we're on some other shit. They kill them. Yeah.

They kill like, like the one has like a fucked up leg. And ants do that. It's young. And it's like, they kill that one because it's like the easiest. And like, they just keep going. Yeah. Ants do that. They throw other ones.

They pick them up and throw them off ledges to kill them. Do they do that? Yeah. Damn, ants. Yeah, they'll take them to the edge and throw them off. And like birds that like kick motherfuckers out of the nest like, wait, I'm not ready. That's great.

Yeah. It's fucked up, dude. Isn't that how your dad taught you how to swim? They just throw you in a pool. No. My dad didn't do that. No. I don't even know who taught.

I don't think anyone taught me how to swim. Probably someone did, but I don't remember. I think I was just like, yo, swim, dude. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I feel like if you're in what? Well, you had a pool. I didn't have a pool growing.

I had a pool during the years where it's like, all right, you're old enough that you should be able to swim. That's when I got a pool. You believe in God? What does that have to do with pools? No, because I was saying before, the whole abortion thing they're saying, because God wouldn't want it.

I don't like touching religion, really. Really? I believe in God. I have my own relationship with God, though. I have my own relationship, because there's a lot of weird shit that goes on. I will say I'm not atheist. Right.

But I don't necessarily, it's the same thing what I was talking about with my political whatever. My religious or spiritual beliefs kind of have this same. I'm still figuring it out. Yeah, that's the best answer right there. I'm not like, oh, this is what happened, because I don't know who knows. Nobody knows.

I just like to have faith in something. And that's why I say I have my own relationship with the big guy upstairs or the big female upstairs. The thick mama upstairs. The thick mama upstairs. You want to know what it was? Because I got to a point where I got so down that I was just like, yo, I used to never pray ever.

It wasn't a thing. I was like, no, I'm not into it. I don't get it. And then a part of me was just like, yo, I got to pray on shit, because it honestly helps me. Listen, I say fuck shit, piss, ass, cunt. I say it all. But there are times where I'm just like, yo,

God, just fucking please bless me. I'll even curse when I'm doing it. You know what I mean? I'm just like, yo, God, just fucking help me, please. You know what I'm saying? But it's like, that's just my own relationship that I have with them, you know? And I think that if more people just

had their own relationships, you wouldn't see all this fucking crazy, wrong, same team. Let's kill these babies. No, you can't kill them, because we're all on team. Yeah, because you're killing children. Like I'm like, come on. I grew up Catholic. And I went to church every Sunday

until I made my confirmation. And then I didn't. Confirmed amount, please. Basically. And that was my mom and dad's role. It was like, you guys have to go to church. But once you get your confirmation, it's up to you whether you want to do that or not.

You think it's good for kids to have some kind of like? I'm personally like religious found base. I don't know. I think my mom would be pissed if I didn't. But I don't think I will just for the simple fact. I want to make my kids informed. I don't necessarily want to choose anything for them. Because for me, I think that, like I said,

I don't see myself as being an atheist. Because I don't think that. Yeah, but you're more of a spiritual person, you say? OK. All right. I'm trying to like for the audience. I guess so. I believe in some sort of?

Higher power. Higher power or afterlife, or what have you, or energy, or whatever. But I don't know anything. I don't know how to like verbalize any of it. Oh, I could tell. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how to do any of that.

I don't necessarily believe. And there's nothing wrong with that. I don't believe every page in a book. No. And I don't believe in every belief that this has. And you know. That's why I think it's nice to have your own relationship and have your own outlooks on things.

Right, because I think it would be almost irresponsible to think that one person or 12 people, for fucking whatever, would have all the answers to shit. Fucking a bajillion years ago. Yeah, when they were kicking virgins into fire, so it would rain. Yeah, or they would stone a woman for breathing or some shit. Yeah, some weird shit like that.

But yeah, it's like to modify that shit, though. It's the same thing with religion. I mean, not religion. It's the same thing with politics, where it's like you are a Republican, right? And now whatever laws are being passed that's in favor of Republicans, maybe some of them you don't necessarily agree with, but you'll just

go along with it because you're like, I am a Republican. I'm down with the squad. Like, exactly. And they'll just, it's just, and watching politics is absolutely fucking, it's just so ridiculous. Half the room stands up and claps. And then the other, I'm like, you guys are 70 years old. Yeah, it's like, it's like children, dude.

And they like plant stories like, oh, this'll fuck them over if we say this and save this story. We'll plant it at this time during the election. And like, yo, you guys are seven years old. We're not trying to see who's cooler, who's winning the game. There is an entire country who is counting on you fucking idiots.

And you just play this fucking bullshit. That's why it's just, it's just so annoying. And when I was younger, and this is what I wanted to say before, when I was younger, you think about old people and you're like, oh my God, they're so wise. And it's like, they know shit, they've been through whatever, and they're, those are adults. They got their life together and all that stuff.

Then you turn on CNN, or you turn on Fox, or you turn on any of these fucking news shows. Cause I don't even know what left and right is, to be honest with you. I have no idea what any of that is. Snowflake, I don't give a fuck what you say about me. I don't even know what these terms mean. All I know is when I watch that, I'm like,

I don't like this. This is, this is, this is comical to watch. Yeah. Of them just complaining back and forth. I'm like, they're bad, we're good. We're good, they're bad. And it's like, guys, it's not about you. No one gives a shit about the color.

We want to have, we want the country to run efficiently. Yeah. It should be modifiable. You know what, it should be one fucking party where you idiots can decide on shit, like adults. Not two gangs where it's like, no, we think opposite, dude. Yeah. This isn't a color war.

This isn't a pet rally. It's, it just, when I just watch it, because whenever I'm on the gym, I'm just like, dude, look at these fucking people. I know. It's ridiculous. Yeah, it's terrible. It's just, it's, oh God, it's so annoying.

That's the only thing I'll give a. And honestly, I'll go on record and just say that like, I think that if you completely, and this is why one time I said this and someone thought it was ridiculous, and it does sound ridiculous, but I was like, I don't like people who believe in stuff. Like.

Oh yeah, I remember that. Because I was like, I don't like, I don't like any beliefs. And what I meant by that is like, hard belief on one thing. Like, I am so open-minded that like, if something that I truly believe, and I couldn't even give you an example right now, because I don't know if I like really believe

in anything that much. And you were like, hey, dude, it's different. It's this. I'd be open to the idea that it was different. I wouldn't necessarily take your word for it. If I go and do my research. So on a lower, on a lower scale, the Giants picking Daniel Jones.

How do you feel about that? That's not really what I'm talking about. No, but no. Let's say this. But I'm trying to. What color is the shirt? Marooned. I also think it's marooned.

But if I was like, yo, if I went my whole life thinking this color was marooned, and then one day you're like, that's actually purple. Like, I'm not the type of person to be like, it's marooned, shut the fuck up, it's marooned, blah, blah. I just not even care. Like, I'd check it out. Yeah.

You go wherever the thing was, see what they listed the color as. So for someone to be like, I am fully a Democrat, fully Republican, and I can't, I will never see the others, and not try to understand the other side, or do whatever. Or, you know, I am this religion, and I can't see how this and that would make any sense.

I'm like, I'm always someone who tries to put myself in someone else's shoes and try to see it. And like, I understand, at least an understanding. I'm not asking you to believe in it. I'm not asking you to change what you're doing. I just want you to understand. Because that's a problem with a lot of things. People just don't under, I don't understand it.

So they just throw it, right? I can understand most things. There's things that I don't disagree with. I don't agree with everything. I'm not just like, yeah, we should do it all. But I can understand why someone from this particular neighborhood who is this religion and grew up around this, believes those things.

I understand that, you know? And I understand why some people commit crimes. I understand this and that. Some people, though, will just be like, nope, credible piece of shit. But I can understand being in a situation where you're poor. And I have to do this for my children, you know? But some people can't put themselves

in someone else's shoes. So that's why it all comes full circle, where I'm like, if you so heartily believe in one thing and you can't be swayed, I don't like you. And I won't. And I'll meet you in person and I'll hear the things you say and I'll hear this stuff. And I'll have a conversation with you.

And you won't know. But in my head, I'm like, I don't like this person. And I'm not gonna try and have these conversations with you because there's no talking to them. And I don't like that. You can learn from everyone. And that's another thing. Sorry, I know I'm going off.

Not good. This happens. But you can learn something from everybody, no matter their race, religion, whatever. Everyone has something to offer you. Even a homeless person has something to offer you. At least one thing. So for everyone to just walk around,

like they have the answers or that their political party or their parents or their upbringing has all the answers is completely false and that's an easy one. That is an easy thing to understand, all right? For you to think you have all the answers is fucking ridiculous. Yes. Now I'll shut up.

No, I think that was great. I'm actually out of breath. That's ran through the year so far. I respect that. I got angry. Yeah, it's fine, it's fine. Am I blue in the face? No, no, no.

Because you know what bothers me though, because when I talk about shit, nah, because what you were saying before, when you talk about shit and it's like, just because you have an opinion, the joke you made earlier was someone's like, oh, these liberal, like, immediately they're like, let's just put them in a box.

Like, oh, you're a liberal, you just believe it. It's like, dude, I just believe that women should do one of the, you know what I'm saying? Yes, let them rock. I don't necessarily believe in all this fucking liberal shit. They say a lot of dumb shit. Oh, let's take away first place trophies and everyone gets a trophy.

That's fucking stupid too. Yeah. So how can I be these people when I believe, you know what I'm saying? I do. I'm sweating. But I'm an understandable person. You are an understandable person.

That's why it's not gonna make leeway with me because I understand you. Should we hit this happy hour? Yeah. After that, I'm gonna need a fucking drink. You fart? No. I stink?

No, no, no, no. Maybe I'm sweating. Oh, you pooped earlier, that's why. I did poop earlier. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's probably seeping out of the bottom of that fucking door. Seeping, all right, seep.

Yeah, let it seep. Put one of your six towels over there. Water. Maybe they got two towels. I'm going on towel count right after this. That's great. I got a problem with that. I got nothing to hide.

Just want to say shout out to the Patreon, patreon.com slash the basement yard. This is our first episode with? New cameras. New cameras. And without you guys, it wouldn't have been possible. So thank you guys so much. Do we have a list of some patrons?

Yeah, we can get that up. You know, just because you guys did us a solid. Some of those, we just want to read a couple of the names of the patrons that contributed to the camera. Anyone who doesn't know what Patreon is, it's a platform or a website that you can go to where you help support the show. So you can, and in turn,

we give you every episode a week early. We go, oh fuck, I'm not signed in. Oh, that's all right. So we'll do it next week. We'll do it next week, but we just wanted to say thank you. Fucking leave this. Yeah, but it's a site where you can pledge a certain amount of money every month.

And it doesn't have to be every month. It could be a one time thing or you can be like every month. There's a lot of people there every month that are giving us five bucks or something. And that adds up after a while, you know? And we try to get more extra content on there. So we have a segment where we answer questions that you send in called what the fuck does Patreon want?

And those are usually like 20 minutes. We do those, we try to do them bi-weekly. And then we do an extra episode of The Basement Yard that's exclusive for patrons. They get an extra episode every month. So five instead of four. And you get every episode a week early because we shoot these in advance.

Surprise. Surprise. All right. I am so hungry right now. I know, I'm pretty hungry too. But that is a Patreon. You go to patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. It's spelled P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash The Basement Yard.

All right, so thank you to everyone who has pledged money every month. You guys are helping out the show so much. We're growing like hell. Everyone's, you know, the word of mouth. Everything's growing. We appreciate it. Tell your friends.

And they'll follow it on Instagram at The Basement Yard. Where can they find you? At Danny LoPriori on Twitter and Instagram and the Game of Thrones series finale was terrible. You guys can follow me on social media at JoeSanagato. Like I said, go follow The Basement Yard at The Basement Yard. Also, send us. If you want to send us topics, go to TheBasementYard.com.

Click on the button that says contact the show and we'll do that shit. All right. See you guys next time. Daenerys.