The Basement Yard - #194 - Breaking World Records

Episode Date: June 17, 2019

Danny & Joe come up with a plan to break some world records. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. It's going down today me and Danny are here. He's got the chest hair out. What's good? Curly's you know I'm saying bring him back to v-neck. I see yeah v-neck's kind of fell off for a while They did but they were always like a summertime stape for me. They were a stape. Yeah, they were state Oh, you had like a whole drawer full of shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah that and I loved Henley Henley like the baseball shirts. No, no, yeah, I love those Like softball shirts my brother Thomas Claims to have brought the v-neck back. Oh really when I was in high school when I was a junior So yeah when I was like 70 like 10 years ago. Wow fashionista. Yeah, no, no

Obviously, that's not true 100% isn't I'm not a big v-neck guy. Anyway, I'm not a huge v-neck guy either very Greek It's very Greek over there You look like you should have an espresso and like three packs of cigarettes or something I bought a pack of these they're Calvin Klein, but I bought a pack of them by accident I thought that they were cruise cruise But now you're like fuck it. Let the sugar show. Yeah, fuck it matches my underwear fucking rock out You're wearing gray underwear great Calvin Klein underwear. Yeah, it's risky. It is in this heat

Yeah, when you take those off those things are gonna be spotted. I mostly yeah I'm mostly just wear black underwear though Yeah, because you can't see all the mess if you're a man and don't wear black underwear You're either just one of the cleanest people on earth or You like to live life close to the edge or you're just an idiot. Yeah, or if and if you're wearing white underwear, dude Yeah, relax. I'd be afraid to wear white underwear. I feel like they'd be like I'd be like, yeah What is this red? You don't have any white Calvin's? No, I have I have like three pairs because they come in threes so I have three pairs of

Underwear that are white and they are the least worn underwear in my entire you have to be very sure that Yeah, you're not gonna mark them up. Oh for sure. I've watched those even if I haven't worn them. Yeah Yeah, you just keep them. It's just it's out of control. I have actually a one pair of like sort of white Like they're like striped. Yeah, but there's white stripes in it. Okay. Don't like wearing those. Have you ever made basement yard boxers? No You know put the show on people's asses. Yeah I think yeah, I feel like a lot of girls wear boxers to sleep, right? I Feel like that's a big state

I'm really say running the state today. You're running the ground. I'm sorry. You're running the state. Yeah. Yeah, but um Dude speaking of underwear by the way Me and Greg so the other podcast I do called other people's lives We like interview people who have like these crazy stories and whatnot and they can remain remain anonymous And we talked to a woman who uses panty deal Dotcom told you when we were talked about down the last episode. So she's a they it's a big thing, right? Apparently. Yeah, do you know you have to pay $15 to stay on the site and that I didn't know Yeah, so like it's subscription like you got a like and she was like it's like it's like a fans only I

Guess no, no yet To have an account. Oh to have an account. Yeah, how searchable is it like did you guys ask? How searchable like say I'd like somebody's panties like primarily love her panties Yeah, can I sub to her? Well, you don't have to sub you just search that name and Send in your request because you can't request shit. Did you and Greg ask her what her name was? No Not her actual name. No, no, no, I didn't ask for like an alias either Like thunder conter so I feel like they all have like weird aliases on there. I maybe I don't I don't know But she said that

You get some crazy requests as you can imagine. Yeah, dude You got to go listen to this because it was so funny and also me and Greg make a serious confession in the beginning of That episode that I'm not gonna say on here. Yeah, it's worth it Mostly to drive incentive to go listen to it But also because I'm afraid to say it in front of this many people I'm not ready for that for it yet. Yeah, so if you want to know you're gonna have to search for it, but She did say that some people have requested that Because basically on the site like we talked about people want you to like shitting them or like do whatever

But she said that she got a request once that someone wanted like a yeast infection panning For dude, you know what that means. Yeah, I do you gotta go out and get a yeast infection Yeah, you do how how would you go about that? I don't know How would you purposely get a yeast infection? No showers, obviously no showers a lot of sweating a lot of sweating And it's like opening your dick hole well vagina vagina hole I would just hold it open while I was at the gym and just get as much sweat in there as possible Yeah, you know in the dirt like quaff some air in there like some dirty air. What's a dirty air like behind like a muffler or something Oh, yeah, like put your put your shit on the end of a car. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that would probably help you get yeast

I mean that would probably have you get a lot of things. Yeah props I'd be afraid. I'm just imagining someone putting their shit on You ever get burned by a muffler when you're okay? No, I did it on my leg one time, but uh Here's my the question so you guys talked about the ins and outs of it, right? Yeah, okay Is there a price limit? No, set your own price so you could Potentially sell like if you want yeast, it's 300. Oh, yeah, but I would mark that shit up hell. Yeah If I'm gonna walk around I gotta go to the doctor probably after this too. I got I'm itching hydrocortisone. Yeah, and who wants to smell that? Smell the yeast a lot more people than you think. Oh, yeah

Well, you know what? You know what I realized while doing that episode is that did you laugh at all during it? Yeah, okay good not like at her because like I I get it. I would have laughed It's it's a strange thing. So it's funny. Yeah, you know and and I think everyone kind of knows that because they're anonymous and they're like whatever but It it's not that crazy when you think about it because think about this and this is what I was just about to say Think about in movies When guys are in women's rooms and they're like sneak a pair of underwear and they smell it They're doing it like out in the open and no one ever says anything about it

Yeah, but he's just like y'all pay 20 dollars for that shit like everyone like oh no, that's weird But it's like but this is in movies. I clearly mad people are doing it. Yeah, they enjoy like the pheromones Yeah I guess I remember I don't do a crazy crazy experience. I'm all set So like I'd rather like, you know an air freshener like for breeze. Yeah, so without putting giving too much away Where would you say this episode ranks in like your opl like experience Did you ever think of something like this that people would be selling their panties? I mean when you said it was like the first time I actually thought about it. Yeah

Um But I it was for me. It was like a very fun episode because like I said mean Because something that could be like really serious, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we've done like really serious ones like there was one I remember uh Some girl's father like killed someone to save her What? Yeah, that's fire and then It was a very interesting story, but like it just it ranges like we've done foot fetish for fetish Yeah, uh, you know some dude who platonically

Get spanked by other dudes and which I said I was down with a couple of just saying, you know Just platonically cuddling a naked with another man So no no sex or no no boners. Well, maybe boners. I don't know, but I don't I feel like if I cuddle anyone I'm getting boned up problem. I mean don't cuddle unless it's first Unless it's first survival, but I might even get a survival bone Like if you like if you're crane plashing the side of a cold mountain. Yeah, dude. Yeah, I need a body heat Let me ask you this plane crashes, right? No one's gonna come and get you you're starving to death. Yeah I'm gonna jerk it one last time

One last time multiple. Yeah, I'm jerking the fuck out of that. Did did tom hanks jerk off and cast away It wasn't in the script, but I assumed so then it wasn't realistic for me. I think it was like four years If you're talking to a fucking volleyball, he banged that volleyball. Oh my god, you know what I'm saying? You don't cry After losing wilson and water like that if you haven't fucked them He nailed that fucking volleyball. Hell yeah, he at least came on him At the very minimum. Yeah, but like on the back side so we didn't mess up the face Yeah, yeah, yeah, probably put like a weird like wig of like leaves on him. Yeah, he did he did he had And fucking just went to town on wilson

Yeah A lot of stuff would happen on a deserted island. Yeah Yeah, I hope that never happens to me. I'm not gonna make it. I think I would kill myself Like like a month in It depends the resources. I'm not but I'm still not resourceful If there were coconuts up there and like all kinds of cool stuff, you'd give up halfway I'd still be like, uh, but it's all the way up there. I'd be throwing my shoe at it Yeah, it's what's left of my shoe. Yeah, you know what I mean

Uh, I do know how to make fire Are you a boy scout? Uh, I wasn't a boy scout. I was an arsonist as a child Okay, yeah, so like I knew how to do that. I was obsessed with learning how to do that. So I did You know, that's like one of the main things for like serial killers is like Fire and like burning. Yeah, but I never killed anyone and or have I ever No, that's not true. I mean it's early. Yeah, I still got time to kill. Yeah, you still got time to kill pun intended

Come on. Yeah, dig pun. That's a double entendre. Fuck. Yeah time to kill but time to kill You just went cross-eyed for a second. I did because I was looking at this and my eyes just fucking But yeah, but I think I think if I was on a deserted island I think that I would go crazy And like Because here's why I feel like when you're in situations like that you're like There's still hope for like a small amount of time like as soon as you get there like oh, maybe somebody's gonna come You have a couple days once like fell out help on the beach. Yeah, once reality would set in that nobody was coming

That's when I would start to lose it You know what I mean? I would have to be so sure how many days before you lose it I I probably a good amount. No, I because I really it would take a lot from me Like there's food on there like there's like coconuts and like Wild boar and shit like shit. You can hunt and cook No, I'm gonna fasten a spear. I'm just saying let's all right. You could fish. There's a fishing pole on there I don't like fish. Well, you're gonna have to learn to eat it No, I mean I I would I I don't think I would ever like I mean, you know, this is just coming from

I've never been in that situation, obviously But I feel like it would take a lot from you like give up Like I would always every day try to be like let's send a smoke signal or like some shit I would never try to sail off of fucking island though. Like that's out of control I would just set the whole thing on fire set the whole fucking town on fire. Yeah, and just be like, yeah, like If no one could see this I'm dead Yeah, you know Like why is this island out here on fire? Someone's gonna have to see that. Yeah, it's a lot of smoke

You know, I don't understand and I never understand. I don't understand a lot of things Yeah, I can lower the rings. You ever see lower the rings, of course. I've seen that you know that dragon drops them off No In the first one and then they go on a quest and walk around. Oh, yeah, why don't they just ride the dragon to the fucking volcano? Yeah, that doesn't yeah, what the fuck? Because I saw a picture of all them in a helicopter Uh recently it was like, uh, I follow this thing on instagram called like moments in cinema So it like has like pictures from like on the set of like characters and shit like that. It's very cool

Um, and they had one of uh, sam well fucking Frodo Frodo and like james camber and they were all like in a helicopter like going to like shoot And then someone was like, why don't they take the helicopter there and then I was like, why don't they just take the fucking dragon there? Yeah, I don't know Yo, those hobbits feet are fucking gross. Yeah, would you fuck a hobbit? No, bro. No the feet freak me out. What's the smallest girl you would have sex with? I had sex with a little person What?

Yeah, why not? Oh, I thought you said I have. Oh, no, I would. I was like, dude, let's open this fucking box No, I haven't I haven't I haven't so you would have sex with a little person. Yeah, she was fucking smoking your thrash. Yeah Be something I don't want to be offensive You're gonna but they're but they're very, you know, you can move them around, you know, I'm saying Yeah, I mean they're they're small are so yeah, yeah, yeah And this is a dumb question. Okay But if two little people have sex

Can they can they make a normal person? Uh that I I believe so, but I'm not entirely sure I feel so dumb I mean, you're not dumb. It's a very like yeah I don't know why everyone it's not like something that's taught in school. Yeah. Have you guys ever talked to a little person on opium? Yeah, you have yeah Have you guys ever talked to somebody that's been on stranded on a deserted island? We have not not yet No, no, no, have are there people out there that have been on deserted islands and like made it back I assume you should probably look into that

Yeah, what is that's actually a very good story. That would be amazing to be like, yo, how'd you get through that? Yeah Damn, dude. I'm producing two shows now Fucking dope two daps and we're only fucking 12 At 13 minutes in I'm telling you do panty deal calm and then one more question about the panty deal Um on this episode of opium. Did you ask the girl how much she gets paid? Yes, okay Can you give us one price? I don't want to give too much away. Uh

I won't when does this come out? It's out. Oh, it's out already. Yeah, you go check out other people's lives on soundcloud Spotify iTunes, whatever But I'm not going to tell you her specific price, but she did say Uh Like the standard is like 25 bucks Not bad. No, especially she goes into what kind of underwear she used and shit like that Well, she said that the most popular was like white cotton. Yeah, she wants a day of white. Yeah, yeah Damn, you know people are freaks. No, it's kind of fire though. That's insane. Let that freak flag fly

Yeah freak flag fly freak flag fly freak frag I Frag like frag grenade like frag grenade. I had a thing. I wanted to show you, but I don't know where it is I believe I texted it to you. You did. Okay. I'll hold on. Okay. I got it What are you doing? Okay, yeah, you did. All right. Here we go. Oh wait one second before you do that. Okay I asked a question on my twitter a little while like a bit ago Um, is there a dating app for blind people?

They Can't see Yeah, but can't I feel like blind people can use smartphones, dude Like a talk back like type of thing Uh, yeah, but like how do blind people date? To meet people in person. Have you have you talked to a blind person on opl? We Tried once In the very beginning, dude. I'm banging out episodes for opl right now and and uh, we tried once

In the beginning because what how we started the show was we would just go on craigslist and like search for things Yeah, and anyone who seemed interesting We would ask them if they wanted to be a part of the show that we were starting like blah blah blah and there was a guy who um Was blind and he was asking a female to Move into his apartment for free rent free and all she had to do was Suck his penis. No, uh

He That's where I thought this was going he would watch tv But the volume would be off and she would just have to explain the movie to him Wait a second. This is all real. I swear to god. I called. Didn't you want to hear it? And you know what I never he wanted a woman to explain movies to him while he just like he had it on No volume, but he wanted her to explain it Right and okay, so here's like I don't know that's weird Yeah, it's a very strange thing

But I and I called him because I'm like, hey, you know like and and it was something we found on the fly Like we had already recorded what we were doing that day Yeah, but then we found that and we were like should we call him? I was like, I'll call him So I called him and I was like hey, man. We're doing this podcast like blah blah blah Uh, and this is not the process at all by the way. This is just randomly we did this one time But we just called him like hey, man. We're doing this podcast About your ad that you put out on craigslist about blah blah blah and he said oh no the position is filled And I was like, all right any hung up on me. So yeah, I think I think I would love to hear an episode about a blind man

There's a lot of good ones though. We covered a lot of uh bases on there. Yeah, um Another thing though you ever watch Shit with closed captions. Yeah, I watch most of myself for closed captions because I want to be able to understand the dialogue Anything that's not a comedy. I will watch what closed captions Yeah, yeah, I don't want to read the joke. I want to like hear the delivery You know, it's like a spoiler because the closed caption will come up before they say it sometimes right so like this is me off like I I didn't do this because I was watching the last days on my mom's house But if I was watching game of thrones, I'd have the captions on right. Yeah

And also you can't understand half the thing those fucking people say on that show anyway. Yeah, but um You know when it would be like Angry music plays. Yeah. Yeah. Does a deaf person know what angry music is? I mean, I think they can assume So they're just like thinking in their head what the music sounds like Yeah Are you talking about people who have been deaf since birth? Yes Um, yeah, no because uh, dude, I think they they know they could read they can see like they'll they'll understand what angry music is you know

It's not like they just like have never learned about anything they can just that I know but I'm just saying when it's like or it'll be like Soft music plays. Yeah, what the fuck is that? I mean Like I don't know But I know what it is, but I don't know what it is. It's like a trancey like fucking like whatever Yeah, but we know that because we've been able to hear Right if you don't know what that is

But I've never if if I've never heard Uh a genre of music like I don't I really couldn't tell you the difference between trance and something else to be honest Like if you played two things right like one was like edm and one was trance I wouldn't fucking know which one is which but I could kind of like guess because of what I've heard or what I've read Or like whatever, you know, you could kind of like guess that way. Yeah, I guess, you know, I guess Eh you fucking idiot It just always threw me off. I'm like, how's the deaf person supposed to know what that means? Yeah, I mean the real mystery is uh

Helen Keller who was deaf and blind? Yeah, that's very difficult to understand. I don't know how she learned anything. I would have gave up What? She was a tremendous tremendous Uh talent there and I lost this thing. Oh, no, I didn't it was in the texts All right, so I have a question for you. I found this tweet Uh Rob Perez put it up. You told me not to read it worldwide wab on twitter

Um 10 million dollars right now in your hand. Yes But there's a catch. Oh a snail is chasing you for the rest of your life And if it touches you you die a terrible death The snail cannot be killed It knows your location at all times Its only purpose is to find you. Are you taking the money? I only have one question the snails coming at you at all times. I understand that. Yep. Do I know where the snail starts? Uh, let's be under the assumption that you do. Okay

So why would that matter because if I go across The ocean the ocean. Yeah, but let's it's gonna take them a long time to get there like at least I got some time I think it's snail can go into water Well, yeah, let's be under the assumption that there is no water and he could just snail it all the way to you Yeah, I would I would take the 10 million dollars. I would also take the 10 million dollars because I could get on a plane dude and also I'm a I'm a man And if I can't outsmart a snail, I think I deserve to be dead

Well, I just think that it would take so long that eventually you'd forget or you'd lose track of time Yeah, but in the back of my mind the way I think I'd be like, where's that fucking snail? Do I have GPS on the snail? No See that's scary. Of course. It's scary. That's the only thing. Well, what if I just like always slept in like a box? Like how's it gonna get in? Oh snail finds its way. No, it won't. Is it a snail or a slug? What is the difference between that? Oh, a slug doesn't have a thing. No, it's just like disgusting Remember you would find them on your steps like on summer nights and pour salt on them. Yeah, you will. We would kill them. Sorry

There's little psychos. I've also burned ants with magnifying glasses. Assuming. Yeah, I also ran over a cat That's a little more intense. I told I've told that story down here though Okay, I ran over a cat, but I but it was an accident and I called the person whose cat it was On their tag. Oh Yeah, oh Yeah, I don't think you've ever told this story Oh, I told the running over raccoon on this story. Yeah, you murdered a cat in cold blood It wasn't cold blood. There was this there was a famous street. I don't even know what that expression means

There's there was a famous street where I grew up called scary street It was called scary street because it was pitch black And you crushed a cat and I hit something it was a cat. Yeah, and you checked the tag. Yeah, and I called the dead on impact Or did you put a bullet in its head? No, this cat was so dead like everything everything inside I don't even want to say but everything it was everything inside of it came out of either its mouth or its ass Yeah, it was terrible. I felt so bad Jesus, but It's a cat

Yeah, you know, I didn't kill it on purpose if I killed it on purpose then it'd be you know, it'd be a little crazy That mixed with the fire stuff, you know, you know, I'd probably have to fire you to be honest with you. I'm scared now Um, but anyway back to the snail You fire me, uh for being a murderer You firing me would be a big big Um, I would take the money the 10 million because I feel like I would just Travel across seas like every like six months. Yeah, because you got to figure like

Also, you could do some math here. Like if a snail's on the ground, right? There's science behind this and you just walk a mile Wait until the snail gets like really close and then just juke it. Yeah, and then measure the health Long that took. Yeah, then you fly across the country 5,000 miles and like this is how long it's going to take to get here. Yeah, and just playing around it Exactly and you keep flying back and forth you go to LA you go to new york You go back you go back any time he gets close you boom It'd be so scary if you were like italy one day and just the crowd parts and that fucking snail is there You would have to escape like a fucking like like a like a james bond villain all the time

Would you tell like fly away on an helicopter like holding on to the ladder? Yeah, I got you again snail Would you take 20 million? But every year it gets a little faster For the rest of my life. Yeah But never like no it's never like You know like fast and how horrible of a death that we talk in here I mean, I guess it's pretty probably like like rot my asshole from the inside out It probably touches you and then your whole body starts. Yeah, you feel everything

Yeah, uh, I would stick with the 10 million just to keep a head because 10 and 20 million is not a big difference Also, I would just keep a gun on me. So if this snail touched me bang Oh, you would you just go out? Yeah. Yeah. I would set up easy death. Can I trap the snail? I don't know. Maybe this is an indestructible something. Yeah, probably But if I slept in a box, there's no way it can touch me It'll find its way like a maximum security prison type of deal Well, they have holes in like hobby air bar damn and that fucking. Yeah Uh, I would be afraid of this snail

Like you would dream about you would have nightmares about this snail I feel like it would always give me an anxiety to know that someone's out there trying to kill me. Yeah. Yeah There's probably somebody out there that wants to kill you right now Yeah, but I don't know about it. That's true That was scary and also makes it scarier if like It's moving slow Yeah, it's like Michael Myers. It's like slow. It's like no matter how far you run I'll be there

Yeah, and I'll just walk it Here's another thing too. What a lazy fucking bastard that guy is run backwards What if Michael Myers is chasing me I'm running backwards Why so I keep an eye on him guy disappears and then shows up somewhere If he never loses my line of sight I got him Same thing with Jason Voorhees. I can't really run backwards too fast. Yeah, but you can run faster than he's walking Yeah, but if I turned around I could dust him. I would just like run in circles kind of

You know like I would never hide in something. Can you kill Michael Myers? No I feel like I could beat the shit out of someone who's just walking at me. Yeah, not beat the like I'd fucking throw bats at this bitch. Yeah, I would keep him in my line of sight Yeah, yeah, so until I got to someone like you guys seeing this too Not only that just get a gun. No, can you just shoot this guy? Yeah, but he comes back to life God damn, I'm leaving that heavens. I know If you could be any horror guy guy, who would you be? I mean, what kind of guy like the killer Jason Freddy Krueger

Michael Myers Chucky the doll That's the worst one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't fuck with dolls. They're making a new one. It's scary. No, I can't I don't fuck with dolls at all Like on on that front. I really don't you saw that doll on twitter, right? Yeah, what the fuck is that? I don't know that thing was scary. It was like this There's like this viral picture of a doll that came out on twitter and some like was she like a famous person I don't know who she was but that thing was gross

I don't know some crazy bitch bought this thing at like a flea market in like a random town And it looked like like a burlap sack. It looked like a fucking Voodoo doll a blood witch. Yeah, I did made it and she fucking bought it was like, isn't it cute? I'm like for that thing in the fucking river Because you just activated a whole fucking century worth of bad luck or like what pandora's boxing shit Yeah, I don't want to be around for any of this. I'll be honest with you. I don't know what pandora's box means Uh, why? Like I do but I don't what do you think it is bring up two things and I have to guess which one's pandora's box

You want me to just create a fucking definition of pandora's box? Well, yeah I that's a very difficult thing because I only know what it is. All right. So what is it? It's a it's a mythology story. I know that Where it's like a box that it's essentially like adam and eve to my knowledge of like don't All the bad stuff will come out if you open that and so that's why people use it in senses of arguments Like that's like why there's bad things in the world because someone opened pandora's box. Okay So it's like if we're arguing And you say something and then I'm like, all right, you're really gonna open pandora's box here

And I go, yo, fuck your face and then you're like, oh You open pandora's box. Yeah, because you let someone fuck your face. Yeah, right Yeah, wait what? I don't think we got that right. Uh, maybe we did I don't know I thought we did you didn't know what pandora's box is you didn't heard. I had an idea. Is it like greek mythology right? You know medusa. Yes Bitch she stares at you you turn to stone. Yeah, I know medusa the fucking ride

At six flex does that exist? Yeah, I should have a scarier spot How did medusa Who just dropped in? That's my phone. What are you getting text messages? Nope, you have fortnight noises. Yeah, I do That's pretty cool though. Yeah, sorry about that. But yeah, but I'll tell you this Is the snail? Bulletproof

It can't die. Okay, but can I slow it down is what I'm saying you want to slow a snail down house? One of the slowest things on earth Yeah, how much slower can it be? It's a snail I'll take the 10 million. I'm taking the 10 million too easy. It also leaves a trail. Yeah Also, I would hire people to trail the snail Could do that But forever that would probably cost you 10 million. Yeah. Yeah, we get expensive I'd hire a private eye to trail that snail

It would be interesting just give me fucking text updates coordinates and shit like fucking jason born Oh my god, it's jason born Probably one of the best means of all time. How long do you think you could last in this apartment with a snail without it touching you? I think as long as I'm awake, there's no way. Yeah, I could go a day until I pass out That's what I'm saying. Yeah So how hard can it be for me to like get in a car and drive even a mile away and stay away from the snail? It would take him a fucking day to go a mile. No. Yeah, you got some breathing time for sure You got some breathing time. How long would it take for a snail to go a mile?

Mad long, dude. They probably have that. Should I look it up? I'm gonna look at how fast snails go How long will it take a snail to travel one mile computing computing Is there a snail moves at an average of two feet every three minutes

Two feet every three minutes. Yeah at the rate of how long How far can a snail travel in a day? Snails can travel just over one mile per hour So we can get 25 meters in 24 hours Wait, it can travel one mile an hour One mile an hour just over one mile an hour That's way faster than I thought it was gonna be. I know that's pretty fast It's not fast, but it's like from here

to like Connecticut in certain parts is like 70 miles. Yeah, it would take them 70 hours Or maybe like 65 hours to get there. How many meters are in a mile? That's great How many meters are in a mile The answer is one thousand six hundred nine point three four meters. Okay So that doesn't make sense Yeah, it does you just said 24 meters in

How long no how many mile how many meters are in a mile and it said one thousand six hundred nine Okay, okay, so a snail travels can travel up to 25 meters a day So before it could cut touch you if you were a mile away 25 divided by 1600 let's say

Wait, that doesn't add up to the one mile an hour Oh, yes, it does. Yeah, it does. Yeah, it does There's a lot of feet in a mile. I'm We're not smart. I was confusing the uh meter well meters and I believe there's five thousand three hundred eighty feet in a mile How much five thousand three hundred eighty You want to stand by that? Yeah I think I know that from remember the tines How many feet

Oh, I just oh, sorry. No, you celebrate to it. Oh, yeah, how many feet are in a mile? Fuck you're close You're close That's a lot of feet a lot of feet so they can only go how many feet in in This is this is bad. I mean, it's Who the fuck knows this they could go 25 meters in an hour Okay How many feet are in 25 meters?

So they can oh my god, they could go 80 feet in an hour And they'd have to go in one mile. They have to go 5,280. Yeah, dude. I'm taking this 10 million. It's light work If I get on a plane to california, I may live my whole life before it touches me. That's what I'm saying That's what I'm saying. This snail does not have any power Also, if you want to throw in that I can't use a car or a plane still taking the 10 million Yeah, dude, I could literally walk across the country. Fuck. Yeah, and just it would be a wrap speaking of walks So When I come here I have to use dog walking service, right? Right. So when I use a dog walking service

I use sometimes I try to use the same people because they're familiar with my dog And you know, it gets to a point where you know, I want the same person walking my dog I just don't want random people walking around. I hear you yesterday I was in a bit of a pinch and I forgot to And by pinch I meant I forgot to order my dog a walk. What a pinch. What a pinch. So I There's a selection that you could do it as soon as possible and if you do that You know, it's not one of your preferred walkers. It's a random person that comes. Okay, but it's as soon as possible Right. Okay. So at the end of every walk

Your dog gets report cards Like oh, he peed. He pooped. You know, here's an example of one. Okay Eli is amazing. He loves smelling everything and chasing birds Very obedient, which is much appreciated great work It's a great report card. Hey, that's a great dog. That's principles list. Yeah. So now I get This guy that comes not gonna say his name, but he comes and walks my dog yesterday I'm like, all right business is huge. He's in there walks a dog. I can't wait for this So then then the thing is done and then the report card comes out. Okay

This piece of shit. Okay. So first of all, you're supposed to take a picture of the dog And be like here's here's him after his walk. Okay. It's a picture of just my elevator No, dog. No If my dog was a ghost That my dog would be in there. Look at it inside the elevator The picture is just up the corner of the elevator. So immediately I'm like, where is my dog? Where is my animal, sir? So now I'm kind of freaking out. So I'm like, you know what? Maybe he was just in a rush. Let me read the report card

And here's the report card. Oh, I can't wait He took a piss He took a piss, okay He took a piss So Right off the jump. I'm like, I don't think we should be saying piss. This is not really a professional pee pee You know, you're welcome. He took a pee. He took a piss Is the first line off this guy's fucking amazing report card

And then right after that, he goes it did cocky So my dog, this is a pre-k someone a pre-k if I can run this Yeah, it went from he to an it in a matter of couple of seconds. It did cocky. He took a piss This is a human being writing this he took a piss it did cocky khaki Khaki khaki. He said khaki khaki Spelled as khaki jeans Don't know where that khaki came from. Maybe it was a khaki colored khaki. That's what alana said

And I was like, it could be a khaki khaki or maybe he was trying to do like Some some rhyming You're trying to make it fun like khaki khaki. Yeah, like yeah, people pool. Yeah. Yeah, you know like but I think it's khaki khaki I'll give him a break up until now a beige khaki. Yeah, we're probably What he ran into right right Now it takes a turn for the weird Okay. Oh god, I thought it was already and I'll start from the top. He took a piss It did khaki khaki

He better be grateful And listen to instruction So now add that last sentence to the picture of my dog missing Now I think this guy kidnapped my dog He better listen. He better. He better be grateful and listen to instruction He better be grateful for what it's your job. Yeah, what do you mean? You want me to ask him? He better be grateful. He better be grateful and listen to instruction. Oh, this is fucking 50 shades of gray. What are you gonna smack my dog around and have sex with him? What is that?

What do you pick up the khaki khaki with his mouth like what do you mean be grateful? What'd you do? So in essence it all goes like this He took a piss It did khaki khaki He better be grateful and listen to instruction What the fuck is that so now I'm gonna go off the grid here There's a rating system that comes into this Okay, it's five stars

Out of five Yeah, yeah, yeah, what would you have rated this man? I mean He's got he's got at least two he's got a word because khaki khaki and also the piss Really funny. You're doing live. He's great. Okay. I laughed. I laughed when I first read it, but then the last part scared me He better be grateful. He better be grateful and listen to instruction. I might do what What's going on here you dominatrix. Yeah, you trying to fuck my dog. Yeah, so I was like that part scared me So I gave him three stars Split the difference. I split the difference because here's another thing that I thought

Maybe he's like a little slow Okay, like the guy that walked my dog And like maybe you can't really like write well Yeah, but he better be grateful is not really like an instruction. It's kind of a big We got sponsors might have to edit something No, I I don't maybe they're foreign and like they don't really know what they're saying. Yeah, it could be that Maybe it's like, you know, he I don't maybe he was saying that he was grateful or something He better be grateful. That you know, that's strange

Yeah, that is Unless you unless he went above and beyond for this dog. Maybe I hope he didn't maybe he cocky cocky like 80 times So he's like, yo, this dog pulled me through hell. So you better be grateful. Yeah, it could be could be So are we ruling out that he might be a little meh? I I don't know. I also I'm trying to say this in the nicest way possible when you get a review there and it's strange I don't want to go giving a guy a one star if he's got some stuff He's got some stuff and if he's foreign, he's trying to be nice, but he doesn't know what he's saying

That's what I'm saying. Like I don't want to fuck up your your you know If I give you a bad if I give you one star, you're kind of fucked. Yeah, you know, like a one star reviews gonna fuck you up Yeah, yeah, so I didn't want to give him a bad review because I wasn't sure of what was happening to be fair And is it okay for me to call them and ask them? What's going on? Is this guy? All right. Yeah, and is he or you know? Yeah, yeah, and I think that

You know when you take a picture of just an elevator that doesn't really help either. That's a three star right there Yeah, I think you were fair on your rate. I think I think I was fair. I think I was fair I think I was Let's get to these sponsors before this uh for me lose them all Oh God You know what I meant though. I didn't mean it in the in like that type of way Love seekeek guys. Love seekeek. Love it. Uh, one of our sponsors on the show

Uh, I'm not gonna read any of this because I know seekeek. They've been working with them for a while Uh, it's the app that I use to buy tickets to anything sporting events concerts Uh, Broadway plays Whatever you want, you can use seekeek Um, and their app makes it easy to use and they even have like a rating system of like this is a good price for this ticket Or this is a bad price an amazing price and you can see Like the view from from your seat if you click on Like the ticket or whatever that's clutch. Um, so it's just it's just it's just great. Have 50,000 five star reviews

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Nice. Well, save your cat. Save your cat. You're gonna have litter in there for 20 for 20 off as well. Try it out See if it, you know It works make sure check up check up on your cat Check up on your cat. I sent a box to impi because he uh, he has cats. He has cats He would be a cat guy. Yeah, he looks like a cat. He looks like a cat. Yeah, he looks like a little cat. What are you doing? This is cat. I guess they do that. Do your best cat meow That was pretty good like that I hate when the cats go

That was another thing when we interviewed that woman, which is so crazy It's coming back to this but the panty deal woman in the beginning of the episode her cats were like It was like they're up on the phone. Wow and she's like, sorry the cats are making noise This cat was like in the fucking thing like I was like, oh my god I was like, hey, am I on like a conference call with your cat? It was so loud. Here's another thing back to the snail thing has nothing to do with the snail thing But it's another hypothetical. You ready? No, okay

For 10 million dollars You have to make out with keith for five minutes every day for a month And you can't touch the 10 million dollars until you're 50 years old No, you wouldn't do it. No No, really first first of all one, you know how long five minutes is that's a long make out I'm like imagine going over there every day. We're like, all right, man. Let's get it out of the way First of all, Keith would never agree to that even if it was like 10 billion dollars Uh, also by the time I'm 50 like

What am I gonna That mean 10 million dollars 10 million dollars. No, I get that but like You would want to spend it while you're still young. All right. What about 40? 40 what You get it when you're 40. No, why can I get it immediately? Because that all right. All right, you would do it for immediately. I don't think You know five minutes Have you ever made out with someone for five minutes straight? Let me knock it. What if I knock a minute off?

I would need a couple minutes knocked. I would say one minute I also I can't make out keith two minutes two minutes 15 days out of the month can't make out five million dollars dude making out a guy is so like well also your brother too Well, yeah, but I'm just saying like you're making out what a guy is so like aggressive. Well, no, it's so intimate. Yeah, it's power. You know We watched the whole documentary on prisoners getting turned out yesterday. Yeah, which I didn't finish it also strengths strengthens my Stance on how badly I just do not want to go to prison. Yeah, there was a lot of um I don't want to suck a guy's booty hole for a cake. No. No, I don't I would kiss my brother though

I would tap kiss Yeah It depends it depends. All right. How about this one? How about this one? You ever tap kiss a dude? Yeah You never got drunk and like grab on your face like your boys That sounded weird you want to you want to keep going you want to just been like Like an Italian Yeah, I love you No, no, I haven't but I think I have kissed a guy

But I don't know why I've never been like No, that's that's making out. Yeah, but I've done like Get the fuck out of here. I I probably like Look at this fucking guy. Look at this. Get the fuck out of here. You fucking I could just Look at tell you tell your mother. I said, hi. Look at you. I like I've done one of those. Yeah. Yeah. It's called my god The ravioli summa I don't think I've ever done that though Like I I don't want to say never because there might have been a time in my life. You and Frankie have definitely kissed

I don't think so I don't think So funny that I didn't think about that. I'm gonna call him. Yeah, call him and ask him I'm gonna call him because because Frankie would know the answer Frankie would plan a kiss on you He'd kiss you right now. You know what? Probably. Yeah, I'm gonna call him. He's probably Italian kissed you He's not Italian. No, but I'm saying like in that way. Yeah I hope he doesn't pick up with some wild shit. Oh, watch this if he does pick up watch

Oh, he's on the train. He might not pick up. Oh, yeah, that's right I Unreliable piece of fucking garbage that kid, I swear to god You know the only possible reason that I can like think of that I would tap kiss a dude Is if two girls were like, we'll show you our fucking nips if you guys just like, you know, Marora girls used to do that Yeah, it's like we're like, yeah, why do you want to see but they never held up their end of the deal? Oh, they they didn't hold up. No, I know of two of my friends that have done that to see like three girls Make out with each other or something. We played a beer pong game once

We played a beer pong game once where we got down like A whole bunch of cuffs and we were like, hey, we come back and win this game You guys gotta make out you gotta make out and then we just started making rain And they and they made out once there's a girl make out on the line You gotta you gotta hone in and they made out it was fucking hot too. I don't know if I've ever I mean why is girl Why are girls making out so hot? Because there's two of them. Yeah, that's right science Tell me your pleasure. Oh, yeah

Would you make out with Frankie? No to save his life. Yeah easily. Would you make out with Frankie? To save anyone's life. No, no, no, no, no. Would you make out with Frankie? So he gets two million dollars. You don't get anything. Can he like gift me? Maybe like he could treat you to stuff, but like he can't just like here's half Um Like if he came to you was like, yo bro, listen if I make out with you I get two million dollars for how long five minutes Bro five minutes is too long. Yeah, why would you wouldn't help your friend, dude? Five, you know a long five minutes. I know how long five minutes. It hasn't even been five minutes since you brought it up

Originally, that's so long. I don't even have the fucking long capacity for that. I'd have to be like, yo, hold on. Let me breathe a little Would you so crazy? Would you honestly for a second think I can't do it? I'm sorry For two million dollars like you Frankie's calling Hello All good, uh, I'm recording the basement basement yard right now. You're on live I just wanted to know because Danny asked me have we ever tap kissed? Hello Probably lost service. Yeah, I think he lost. Oh, he's calling back. All right

yo Yeah, I think I lost you. What's up? Um, so you're on the basement yard right now. We're recording live and Danny asked me this question I wasn't sure if the answer have we ever tap kissed? I don't think so, but I would if I was a betting man, I would say yes I said something along the lines. I was like, I don't want to say no I was like, but like I can't recall like I feel like I would be able to probably smack the smooch on each other once or twice Like if if we have I don't think it was on

Purpose it might have been like Do you remember when you when uh, when Dominic kissed uh, Mikey during football? Yes Yeah, he ran a slant route and he crashed into Mike, but we heard all heard They ran into each other. Oh ask him ask him this ask him the two million dollar question Which one for You just said breasts All right, let me see it. Let me see it. Hold on Frankie. It's Danny

How are you doing, sir? Oh, yeah, all right, I have a quick question for you. All right, if Joe came to you was like, hey, listen, man If I make out with you for five whole minutes, I get two million dollars. Would you do it? Yeah Okay, okay, but you don't get any of the money he gets it But he can he can like share it with you like take you out to dinners and stuff But he can't give you like money straight up That's okay. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah

That's okay. I'm just gonna let you know Joe said a resounding. No, no, I did not Talk to him here. Talk to him. Talk to him Frankie. I never I never did this. He's lying You said no, you wouldn't make out with me. I didn't say that he said five minutes is way too long I would definitely make out with you dude. No, but I did say five minutes is very long. That is a long time Yeah, five minutes is a long time. I mean, I don't know if I can kiss anyone or anything for five minutes That's what I'm saying, you know what I mean for two million You gotta work you gotta work for two million. I know but god damn like I need an iron. I would do it No doubt no question if it meant my friend got two million dollars

Yo, honestly, I would say I would say 50k. I would do it I feel like five minutes is so long I feel like five minutes is so long that it would only feel gay for like the first 45 seconds Then you'd be like, all right, whatever. Yeah, you're just doing it to get paid Oh also at this point in my life like I've Like I have a pretty you know comfortable relationship, you know, I've seen enough life that you know, so I'm making out with guys just to try it out You know how they say like people are be like 80 85 years old 90 years old They'll start smoking weed because they'll like they'll be like, oh, well, what do I have left to lose?

26 years old everybody All right, dude, thank you. I just need some confirmation I know problem. All right, take it easy Well, that's Frankie that's two different sides. Yeah, I don't know five minutes a long time man it is yeah two minutes easy

But five. Yeah, five minutes. I'm gonna try and make out with Alana tonight for five minutes and just see how it goes No I bet she stopped you'll get grossed out. She'd be like, this is honestly honestly. It's probably disgusting. It's probably gross Like your face is probably soaked Your face your face is gross. It's disgusting. It's disgusting You know what the longest kiss in the world is? No, the longest Hold on. Let me look that up longest

make out ever It's probably something ridiculous Oh, it's just a kiss just a kiss. So just holding lips together. How long? 27 hours 58 hours. Wow 35 minutes and 58 seconds that is possible

And insane it was in Thailand on february 12th to the 14th. All right now it makes sense Whoa, I just realized That's over two days. Yeah, dude. You just realized wait wait wait. How we know eat No eat. No eat. No eat. No drink. No drink. How? No sleep No sleeps. Just kiss or just wear like a headband around the both of you and just That's probably what they did. They probably tied their heads together. What does your breath smell like? I don't know. You probably don't open your mouth much Do you think at some point you like eventually like start to make out because you're like bored? Yeah

Damn two days. I'll be sticking my tongue in there. Yeah, I'd probably be throwing it out just a little bit It was an event organized by Ripley's believer or not It's gross We should break a world record. Dude. That's all I've been wanting to do my entire life What's like a weird thing like how many pancakes can I sit on? How many bananas can I squish with my butt? Like sit on a banana. Yeah, how many bananas squished by butt

World record Butt world records. There's butt world records. All right. Oh my god. This what we're at an hour right now We're gonna be this is gonna be a 10 hour plugin most hazelnuts cracked but by with a button 10 seconds Yo, if you cracked one, that's amazing cracked a hazelnut with your cheeks Longest time kicking one's own butt Five hours. Just I don't know I'm gonna click on it 23 minutes 16 seconds I could do that Oh, no, no the world record is

Three hours five minutes. Oh my god, dude. Just kick your own ass for that long most balloons popped with butt in 30 seconds 25 Uh, no you could crush balloons 39 39 Uh Most butt bounces on a bed by a seven year old in one minute. How fucking specific is that? Jesus You got his blood type in there too. Yeah 50 bounces It sucks most consecutive times saying but That's probably so many yeah 201 times we could crush that

I'm down we break a world record. Oh you want to do it now? No, I want to get a certificate saying but 200 times. It's the easiest fucking thing ever Dude that's so easy Think about this but but but but but but but but but but but but that's 10 times 20 Yeah, fucking yeah, we're gonna do that. I guess Most hot wheels cars stacked on butt People out here breaking records bro 10 cars

We I could get 10 cars on my ass. Yeah, that's a big landing zone. Yeah, dude. We we're gonna do that too Yeah, we should definitely look at the hold on look at the picture This kid threw his legs up over his over his face. I could do that. I could do that. Yeah I mean, you're gonna have to do a little more yogs. No, we could get that yoga. I could get my ass on there Let's go buy hot wheels. We'll go break that too. Fuck. Yeah Yeah, that'd be so that's two we got right there world records. Yo, we're gonna crush the butt records. Yeah What else we got? Most butt touching ground one legs. What like pistol squats

That's how I came out most butt touching Ground one leg squats. That's literally there's hyphens. It sounds like a recipe What the fuck is that? Oh, it's probably a pistol squat so your ass touches the ground as the grass Fuck that. Yeah, skip skip skip most butt slaps in two minutes. How many? 100 oh, I could do that 100 different butts. Oh, you need you need a hundred. I thought we're just going No, no No, you need 101 butts. Oh, that's a lot of butts. Yeah Most I would just ride by in a scooter just

Um You definitely had something in your throat right there longest time twerking upside down while wearing a sombrero Uh 17 minutes Dude, I can't be upside down for 17. No way, but I have a stroke. I think I think that's all we have here So we got two hot wheels on the ass hot wheels. We need 11 cars on your ass Which which is probably easy. Yeah, dude. That's just one. That's just my left. I feel like we could fit like eight across Yeah, you know what I'm saying? You can get 16 cars on my ass 16. I would say like 14. All right

I'm down. How much are hot wheels? I don't know, but We got our next day. I got a stupid video We just break records. Oh my god, that's such a good idea. Hey, dude. We'll try that. Yeah, dude Dude, I'm not here fucking I'm out here saying but Two times. Oh, you want that one? I'll say but you do that one because my cheeks aren't as wide I'll do the hot wheels one. I'm more of a we're gonna shatter that you're gonna shatter that record You might hold that for years. Oh, yeah, I'm more of a performance athlete. Anyway, so you know what I mean Yeah, you know, you have better cardio. So you'd be able to say but more times. I have more foundation

Yeah stack cars on this ass Stack cars on this ass next time you see me. I'll be a world record holder All right. I'm I just googled weirdest world records Okay, this guy's just covering spoons. What the fuck Okay, no, these are too crazy. What's the most pair of socks ever worn See, I'd be too afraid of shit like that. Yeah, I feel like my feet would turn purple. Yeah, it's not a whole lot of circulation Yeah, I would do it right. I would do it right there on the couch Dude, we should make a youtube video doing like records like random weird records go buy hot wheels stack them on that anus

Yeah Be easy speaking of youtube Do you ever hear did you hear about um, there was a youtuber that just got like 15 months in prison or something because he Fed a homeless guy like an Oreo, but it had toothpaste instead of icing and filmed it like put it on the use Is it still on youtube? I believe it got taken down He got 15 months in prison. Yeah That's a lot of time Yeah, but but also why you serving

No, fuck that guy. I mean that guy should definitely be in jail. Oh, I don't know if he's gonna serve anytime That's what I'm saying. I'll probably just get probation because it's like his first offense. I'm assuming. Yeah, um That's crazy It's also abuse It is abuse which fucks it up It's not funny Like even apparently the homeless dude was like vomiting and like sick and that's like toothpaste That's like chemical shit. You're not supposed to swallow toothpaste

But the other thing is I feel like I could eat an Oreo with toothpaste and not throw up Yeah, maybe I might throw up. Yeah That's another world record. How many Oreo toothpaste things can you eat? Fucking die probably how many Oreos in one minute? How many bananas eaten in one minute? I can't do that because I have diabetes. You have to do that How many bananas eaten in one minute? I'm gonna say seven It's way higher than that. Really? Yeah How many 37 fuck no 37. I don't know if I've had 37 bananas in my life. I don't think so

37 bananas. How many fucking bundles is that? That's like a whole level of Donkey Kong when you're getting the fucking you know what I'm saying 37 but that's like a special level when you go down and fucking jump into everything It's a guy with a ponytail from a crazy hick who sucks down bananas That's insane. We could watch them suck them if you want. Yeah, watch that guy suck them for sure Oh, it's got great suck music. It might be a girl. Oh, it is a girl. This bitch. You're gonna eat that Oh my god I'm drinking water after the first one. This guy's a rookie, dude

Wow world record for most bananas eaten in one minute attempt number three Oh, so he did a he did a few Disgusting person. Oh, he only got seven in 63 seconds. I was about to say dude 37 bananas, but the yeah, that's bananas Oh wait No, no, no Um, I read that. Yeah, no one look at this says three seven But I think it was the third attempt three points seven. Oh, it's 30 temp was seven bananas

But the record is seven and a half in one minute. I got 37 bananas. Now. I think about it's like you die First of all, it's probably like 12,000 grams of sugar Yeah, a lot of fiber. Yeah, dude, probably shit a rock. Yeah just like You're fucking intestine would scream So, who is this youtuber that's fed that homeless guy? I know some fucking pieces of shit. Uh, let me see tooth paste YouTube orio youtube cock Uh

Do we want to say his name? Oh, he's like asian or spare. Yeah, he's wait. He's like asian or spanish. I think he's asian, but grew up in spain. Oh But he's like asian or spanish Yeah, I don't know Yeah, but he got some time because he filled up a bunch of orios with toothpaste. Yeah, I want that to legal too I think it's a waste of an orio. Yeah, which i'm not really like down with because I fuck with orio I fuck with orios. I haven't had an orio in a while and I don't know how to think about it. Double stuff You like max stuffs

Hell yeah, I'm not crazy about that. I'll fuck that shit up. I mean, I also fuck it up. How do you eat orios? Like what's your what's your fucking like? You know what I'm saying? The first one I eat raw Just just to have my palate covered in orio Then I dip them in milk First one's always naked and the rest of them are dipped. What do you mean naked? Oh, you just eat a dry one. Yeah That's kind of a psychotic but okay, but you don't do any of the like take this off lick this side put this back Boom bang. Uh, I used to make quadruple stuffs

Wow, you arts and crafts that yeah, yeah, so I would make a quadruple stuff orio You just it would just be a double stuff Unless you would put like four cookies in between. No, it would be a double stuff orio Oh and another double stuffed to make a quadruple stuff You never have one of those thin orios. Yeah, I like them a lot. I like them a lot. They're like orio chips They are. Yeah. Yeah, I'm like like, oh you save calories by you know, I was like, I'm gonna eat more of these Yeah, I'm gonna eat three sleeves instead of one today Dude, I had literally when I was a kid and I was eating and I was still having milk. Yeah

Literally if I have milk now I had I had milk Recently for the first time in so long my mom's like, oh, I'm gonna make milkshakes. You're like, yeah And I was like, all right. Yeah, fuck it And there was a lot of milk in it because it wasn't like that thick Yeah, so she didn't put enough ice cream But I drank this shit anyway. A milkshake is never made well at home I used to make them well because I used to just dump sugar in it. Yeah, and it was mad good, but She fucked it up. What a bitch

But uh I had it dude that night. I'm not even kidding you the lower half of my stomach was on fire and I was Pop pop pop poop and yeah all night So it's like obvious, but this was back when I was like still having milk And I used to eat an entire sleeve of Oreos every time I opened the package It would never be like, oh, I'm gonna have six easy. I'm having 14 easy. I don't even know how many are in a pack I don't know I don't know. I wish I did three rows of 12, but I could crush like I could realistically right now

If I didn't care about the repercussions eat an entire package of Oreos and like Still go out and have like a legitimate meal. Yeah Definitely doable. I could do that and you know elio's pizzas Yeah I could have five of those feel nothing always Burn the shit out of your mouth first bite, of course like a hot pocket. Yeah, those things are fucking dangerous Yeah, that thing will fucking put you down people probably sue that company all the time

A lot of that a lot of all of pizza bites. Yeah always. Oh my god. You bite into a pizza bite It's either like all right. This is gonna set my mouth on fire. It's just like a random block of ice Yeah, have you ever eaten it when it was still a little bit frozen? Yeah, I have many times. How lazy is that? I just don't have this kind of time Yeah, it's just like, you know what this part's frozen, but I'll eat through it and then I'll get to the other warm side on the end Disgusting that's why whenever you would have like hot pot and a hot pot. It's a pizza bites or whatever the fuck they're called Pizza rolls It's like the ones on the outside of the plate were cooked

So well, but like the inside of the plate still had a little that that that crust of ice on it Like ice dust little ice little ice shaving. I'm just going to eat this though. Yep, you know, hell. Yeah A lot of those disgusting microwavable foods. Oh, yeah disgusting Miss them. I miss them too Like uh like mish gushers gushers are great A mega gusher too is fantastic. What's a mega gusher when like they would get so warm in your pocket or in your Oh, they would all melt together. Yeah, then you would eat one mega gush Do you remember a lot of people don't remember these you remember how nicolodian had like slime?

Yeah, so they made ice pops that had slime in the middle of it And I don't know what that slime was, but I remember like it was so good That I remember being like, yo, I want to go to Orlando so I can be on the show and get slimed and just drink all of this slime But it's definitely not the same thing. Oh, what is slime? I don't know corn syrup. Maybe I don't know what about Gack remember gack Yeah, that was just like putty. It's yeah, and then you could like push it and be like

When you push it in the in the thing it would fart You know what just remind that just reminded me of Frankie came over my house once kid was just on the phone And he thought he like was going to blow my mind which he kind of did in a way if you take Silly putty. No, it's Fuck this has to do with newspaper No, it's a Like a stamp. No, you can put

Silly putty on a newspaper and lift it up and it has the newspaper on it. Right. Yeah. No. No. No. It was like I believe it's like baking soda. Okay And like water or something like that not Like flour or something in water. I don't know but like it's basically you can make this uh Substance that you just you can if you roll it around if you can make it into a ball But the second you stop it just becomes a liquid And goes right through your fingers. I never heard of that. I would have loved to see that Yeah, Frankie knows what it is like he like he but he was like, you'll look he used to come over all these random

One time he came over and did like the the the ice and the salt thing in his chest What's that? You know if you if you take salt and you put it on you and you take an ice cube and you put it on that It melts it eventually it burns your skin Oh, yeah, because it's like hot. It's like uh dry ice or whatever. Yeah, he did that to his chest and burned a hole In the center of his chest. Oh So long Like yeah, he was all fucked up like he was like peeling and it was disgusting. Ew. They did this in my fucking kitchen

And you kissed them Yeah, no, I I wouldn't remember what that is it was like Some flour baking soda or something and like water and you would just do this fucking mad chemist make it a ball And then it just becomes like a I want to call him again, but I don't want I don't want to know so bad, but I don't I don't fucking know You just looked at me so weird what I do It was like seductive I'm trying to nail you right now. I don't know

It's a nice day out Could get a little weird. It's not that nice We just spent most of this podcast talking about kissing our friends And also I'm not gonna let it go that you said that shit before you're like What you know when you get drunk with your buddies and you kind of just you just grab them like what? You know you get drunk and you just grab your boys. That's what you said. I did I did but like, you know what I meant I honestly don't yeah Do you ever have someone try to kiss you like a dude try to kiss you

Oh like like a gay man Or like or like no no a gay man Italian kiss a gay man I've I've uh Not not to that extent, but I've had I've been pursued by many of of gays It's kind of fire though. Yeah. Yeah, it's flattering to me if I get pursued by a gay man Like I'm like I'm flattered, but like dude like I'm not gay Did I ever tell you the story about when I delivered pizza to this gay guy? No It's actually a pretty funny story

So I I delivered pizza there was always two guys one of them. I don't know if he was gay But he would always just freak me out But whenever I went there he would answer the door like sweating like a lot and in tidy whities every time And like how do you know who's answered? You know what I'm saying? Like why are you answering the door like that? But that was one guy, but there was this one guy that I delivered to I have only delivered to him once Usually you deliver to the same people, you know, they order whatever, but this one guy went to his house, okay, and He answered the door and he was a heavier dude. Okay, and he was wearing like a belly shirt

That's hot right and it said I heart and then in like Glitter said guitos Right Mind you at the time I have a buzz cut. Yeah a little guido-ish jersey shores out Right exactly. Yeah, right so He answers the door and I'm like, you know, whatever I have his pizza form I was like any man's like whatever it is

He goes to hand me the money he drops it I'll just trick in the book and then there was like this moment of like who's gonna get this You know And I'm not worried about this dude fucking me in the ass. That's not what it was but I was just kind of like First of all, I had a big ass pizza box and it felt like Kind of on my territory So it's hard for him to get it right and if I got to get it

I gotta I gotta you know present yourself to this man. I gotta show him this ass. Yeah and grab these this change I thought he did it like Drop something. No, but that's what I'm saying. I think he did that's probably what he did Yeah, because he wanted to take a look at these cheeks. Yeah, so I let him see the cheeks. What do you say? Nothing I don't know what he said I just you know, I picked up the the money. I was like, hey, here's your change whatever gave him his pizza It was on my way, but to this day. I don't know if he was trying to get a peek at these buns I think a guy's ever jerked off to your picture. Okay

I hope so I would be flatters. I mean I I just I love how I slap answers that I hope so. I hope so. Yeah, I hope I'm hot enough for everyone to be masturbation. Yeah What did I just say? You hope that everyone's hot enough to be masturbation Maybe I wrote that review on your Better be grateful Oh god, anyway, let's get the fuck out of here. Yeah, my throat's been itchy for three days. I gotta yeah, you keep rubbing your throat I see you

I don't like it. You do this thing. Yeah Anyway, Danny, where can they find you? You can find me at daniela purely on twitter and instagram Uh guys again, you can find the show at the basemanyard on instagram and our patreon is set up patreon.com slash the basemanyard to help support the show some every episode a week in advance some extra content on there And we just sent out all the personalized shout outs to everyone Um, who was the top tier patron. Hell yeah, so thank you guys shout out to you guys and uh, that is all See you guys next time You