The Basement Yard - #198 - The Candy Bracket

Episode Date: July 15, 2019

On this episode, we find out what candy is the greatest of all time! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

welcome back to the basement yard Danny's on black on black today black on black on black go black black black I gotta be honest that's a pretty flat brim you have there yeah I know it's also the pups on there as you can see is that actually your dog or you found like a hat that sort of somebody made it for me and sent it to me really yeah how did with the embroidery yeah it's a buddy mine from where I grew up oh he embroidered yeah he embroidered or embroider embroidered now you're making me self-conscious about my flat hat why no it's a little flat but it's just it's like a skateboard hats a five four

five panel it's got a panels on it or something got some widespread got a good panel on it yeah I don't know I can't pull off those hats no I can't I can't really either but I just like it cuz big guys on it next the dogs on there yeah yeah anything else you want to fucking judge me on dad you only have one chain on which is surprising well I mean I've had a I honestly just noticed I've had a jewelry setback because here's the thing if I'm gonna be wearing a nice watch do I need all the other glitz and clams okay you know so I dialed it back a little bit so you're going one chain one chain but I might go and no

bracelets and no bracelets look at I'm just growing up a little bit just growing up so what'd you do with this I still have it like I'll wear it like you know I'm like on nights where I'm not gonna wear this you know okay yeah so I feel like it was too much yeah yeah like I was looking too like I see too icy was too frozen and I don't mind it like I'll throw it all on at the same time yeah do you want to build a snowman but other than that it gets a little too crazy I can't I can't I want to be a little grown and sexy you know why you think jewelry doesn't make you grown and sexy no no no it does but it's like you're

trying a little too hard if it's like yo Rolex two or three chains you know I don't even have an album out I can't be doing that type yeah two fucking 18 karat gold bracelets on at the same time I love how you're just rattling off like all the stats right now I'm just saying to 18 karat cost me an arm and a leg and not not it wasn't that bad but I'm surprised you really don't wear any jewelry I know we talked about the watch a little bit like a little while ago and I know at some point you think like you know you'll you'll get something but I'm surprised you don't wear any jewelry like a necklace or anything have you had have

you ever worn like a necklace or like yeah I'll be honest with you I wore those lips strong brace bracelets for oh yeah hell yeah man they were hard they remember when they were like hard to get that's when that's why I kept rocking it I had it for a while I don't know what year that was but I wore it like well past like any like it was faded like you didn't yeah it was like white they probably like cured a couple like cancers while you did that probably here can they cure like certain cancers no I don't know anything about it there's no cure to cancer no no no I know that I should want to go into conspiracy and

say all I'm a huge I mean I don't want to get assassinated so I really I really believe there is a I really do believe there's a cure out there you know it's funny my cousins is sorry my cousins a scientist and I like had said that as a joke of being like oh you know because I've heard like conspiracy theorists say it was like oh we definitely have a cure to cancer but there's too much money in cancer so you know blah blah blah but he actually takes offense to that because he's in cancer research and it's like don't don't undermine us basically right he's saying like dude there's a whole field of people dedicated to like

researching how to find the cure to cancer to assume that we have it and like we're just hiding it yeah no no I understand that but I'm more of like a yeah it's fun to make stuff up yeah yeah I like I like being a conspiracy theorist from time to time okay you know were you big on the whole 9-11 thing no I was not do you remember when everyone was coming out like yo you see the faces in the clouds I was like yeah I was like yeah it's clouds it's clouds it's like take it easy it's like yo there's evil faces in the clouds I'm like I do this wasn't a demon this was a fucking and it's also like and it's

also like any any conspiracy where like it involves like people dying it's like where are these people just hiding now you want to hear some crazy you know you know there's also people out there don't believe the Holocaust happened oh man love that that one's insane I would love to meet someone who's actually that fucking stupid there's this thing called the I don't want to get it wrong I want to say it was yep the Philadelphia experiment are you familiar no I'm not I'll just I'll just read this okay I don't know what it says cuz I just like it's the real quick thing I love how we got here from jewelry yeah I don't know

but listen the Philadelphia experiment you guys can do your own research after this is an alleged military experiment supposed to have been carried out by the US Navy at the Philadelphia Naval Shipyard in Philadelphia Pennsylvania say a Philadelphia again yeah sometime around October 28th 1943 the US Naval Destroyer escort USS Eldridge was claimed to have been rendered invisible to enemy devices come for us now so yeah that was weird they heard me talking about it but so basically what happened and again this is all obviously a conspiracy is that they had like a beat oh man you gotta listen to my dad tell

this story too it's just on fucking is he like on team conspiracy oh my dad yeah dude oh so I would love talking to him about this shit my dad will think like regular humans walking around our aliens and shit he's crazy he's crazy I've literally watched him snap his phone in half and throw it into the sewer yeah like he's nuts dude my dad's like he thought like the government I don't I have I really didn't even ask it was just hilarious I couldn't breathe but just to give you the the the brunt of it apparently I could be telling this wrong but to my knowledge the the US wanted to create this thing that was like to make a

whole ship invisible right okay I don't know how they're going about this in 1943 thinking big though at least oh huge dude an invisible cloak dude make an invisible like yeah make an invisible shirt first before you're gonna go ship yeah for God's sake and then make a two-way mirror was that invented so what they did was I guess shot this like beam at the ship or something oh my god and apparently it disappeared but then it reappeared and some of the sailors were gone we're halfway stuck in the walls what you understand what I'm saying yeah like they have they have made it in half made it out yes because I don't know

what that oh man I'm really thinking about calling my dad right now should I call yeah if he'll answer yeah I'm sure he'll know more about it all right I'm gonna call him I just hope he doesn't say anything crazy yeah definitely be the first time fixed in post that's crazy yeah and this was in 1943 so it's it's Joey so me and Danny are currently you're live on the basement yard but I just wanted if you can please explain the Philadelphia experiment for people real quick yeah I don't know if it's accurate either I just don't want to tell it wrong wait your dad your phones all screwed up what's going on here I can't

there we go so they were already fucking they were already fucking breaking in his phone right there the government caught him off cats out of the bag my dad has a home phone all right oh you want me to tell you about that by the way I just called his flip phone yes so that's just you know I love how he said who is this yeah you know old people never store numbers in their phone my dad knows everyone's number though he's like a psycho like that like he knows every number if he goes what's the password it could be 15 digits I tell him one time is I got it and he knows it and then he can get from here to China somehow he

just knows it's it's straight he's one of those guys yeah I don't know he's an old-school guy he's an old-school guy so I mean I really don't want to fuck it up so when you were saying they were half in the walls were they alive that I that I'm not I'm not sure of because I think if you're in another dimension you're right well I think maybe they like the ship melted and then came back to its original form and then you know that's fucking terrifying yeah it's fucking scary hey dad yeah well hurry your pee up because we need to know about this Philadelphia experiment

I'm not sure and when it reappeared a lot of the men was stuck in the walls in the decking of course they were dead but they were they were it was like everything became so transparent and so I don't know what to work to use cloud like who knows that they were walking through walls and when it reappeared the walls solidified again and they were stuck inside if you go online I saw it on the history channel discovery channel at Nonsense if you go on YouTube you can find it that story but if you look it up you know put it to the government it never happened it's all you know the greatest word that ever came up for the

government covert operations is conspiracy nobody wants to be attached to that word so what do you think you think it was a ray gun wait the government said that yeah we're controlling the weather that's incredible that's crazy I believe it thanks a lot dad thank you brother love you too I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying to get like you that is hysterical yeah so my dad is a lunatic people think I'm joking around when I say that fucking some me they did it's funny coming from

him because he's close to 300 pounds I'm trying that's funny no but yes I believe that though you think they're affecting the weather the ray one is a little crazy the weather I can understand it's a I mean it's a story yeah it is yeah it is it is it is but like I feel like that's a hard thing to make up yeah you have to be pretty crazy to make that up I mean there are some crazy people out there also if we had a thing like that that could make things just disappear reappear in another place whatever why wouldn't we use that probably because it gets people stuck in the wall no I had our enemies oh yeah that's true why not

maybe we do think about all the military shit we don't know about yeah you ever see those videos of those like metal like dogs yeah run yeah scariest that can like open doors and shit oh man they can clear corners too like they like can they have like little like not wet what do they have on top of them they're not there's sensors they're not guns but like they can like clear rooms like see if there's people in there and shit yeah it's freaky dude once once I'm like a robot thing is able to open doors I'm all set do you think that and probably not in our lifetime maybe that all soldiers will be like robots because don't know

we have drones already like that they're like fly they're flown by something else why can't you have like street soldiers that are like all fucking robotic yeah I guess you wouldn't get anything done it should be like a robot fight yeah like our robots be your robot you know because yeah because it's like hey man we beat your robots we're gonna make your country democracy now I mean I'd rather bunch of robots died in humans yeah that's what I'm saying as sooner or later is probably gonna be like front-line robots see that would be amazing yeah if you could have robots go out there and do that

kind of work and we keep our snipers going yeah that's it you know just like sprinkle in a couple of real people because you know technology can only go so far you know but keep a couple real people to go you know I'm saying yeah I know that would be unbelievable it's actually kind of crazy that we're not you know that the Secretary of Defense as a team yeah I think we have ideas it mean you were to defend this country one known fuck with us that's that's for certain you know what I'm saying like I like if anyone tried to pull up on us if you like please yeah you know you're talking to I have robots I have robots and I

would use that ray gun if we got it I'm using it yeah you know what I mean mid speech I'd shoot it at you and make you disappear honestly being the president is kind of fire I hate it like I hate the idea of becoming a president because there's like so much work involved yeah but you do get a whole mess of secrets though oh hell yeah that thing knows that thing the president well some people but you know think about like the intel you get that just nobody knows yeah like do they have like a book it's like all right we need to take this week we're gonna take a retreat and we're just gonna go over all the secrets and one thing I

always think about too is like if they catch you know quote-unquote terrorist here that like they don't go public about yeah I'm sure that happens a little time you know what I'm saying they try to like squeeze them and by squeeze and probably beat the shit out of well that's been well documented yeah yeah but what I'm talking about is like cool shit where it's like in the White House there has to be like underground oh yeah there is there's evacuation tunnels and shit yeah I want an evacuation tunnel didn't they say 9-11 they wanted to fly one into the White House too I don't think I think that was it they wanted to

hit the Pentagon and then like the other one I don't know I honestly I you know I haven't gone that far into my view did you ever watch loose change I did that was like a big documentary but I watched that when I was like 17 yeah you could have told me like Barney was behind it and I would be like I knew it I knew that fucking dinosaur that's why we need the ghostbusters yeah none of those what happened exactly they had ray guns yeah they made people disappear well ghosts well I ain't afraid no ghost I'm terrified of ghosts I for some reason on other shows you don't dwell on the like you're you're afraid to go into ghosts

like I'm not afraid to go do something you know I've never had a paranormal I did not no I did not get a paranormal experience I just don't want to get one so what would you consider a paranormal experience of motherfuckers waking like I wake up and he's at the edge of my bed like it's good okay so like I'd be like forget my like I'd be I wouldn't be able to sleep okay so something that like could be chalked up to a coincidence like say all the lights were like I went crazy doesn't really that wouldn't that you wouldn't consider that possibly a paranormal experience no so you have to physically see something yeah or if your

whole crib started shaking then you'd be like or if I like something like if something falls off of a wall I'm not gonna be like oh yeah like you know I'm saying but if that candle over there which is it's heavy just laid up if it oh no my dad's calling why not what's up dad we're still on the exact story that's by far one of the best cameos you've ever had on this fucking show ever the guy is something else I'm telling you you sent him down a fucking rabbit hole today too like he had a whole day planned out it's over it's over now

canceling everything oh yeah he's by the way gonna call back oh yeah there's gonna be another I'll tell you one more thing I'm not too sure about JFK either yeah you know but no you know sometimes I'll ask him questions like that that you would like you think you ask someone about a conspiracy like how do you feel about JFK and he'll answer me as if I am so fucking stupid for even asking oh coach give me a break yeah it's like there was ten shooters like you know he'll say some crazy I think there was multiple shooters as well but back to the paranormal thing you're saying if the candle like got up if it went from

there and just slid like a good two feet and then fell off I'd be like well I'm not coming back here right but I've never had anything like that happen so now another thing that you always dance around to is if things are haunted yes you believe they're haunted I I don't know I've never been in a haunted area but do you believe in it I don't know it's one of those things that I feel like I would have to experience in order to like I would have to like feel some sort of and then be like you know what there's a lot of weird energy here yeah yeah yeah like I get it but like if I was like I was never one of those kids that late at

night you're like oh yo me Tommy Tyler and Jessica are gonna drive out to the insane asylum and just go staying it for the night like yo you crazy white bitch fuck that yeah I wouldn't do that I wouldn't do that I'm not fucking with it within the event that there's spirits out there that are like you know I'm saying like having crossed all the way over yet but they're over here haunted motherfuckers the last place I would go is to the insane ones yeah yeah why would I go to the insane spirit on a nice dead ghost I want to just a regular dead ghost go like a Barnes and Nobles and meet like a really smart ghost yeah not

going to the insane asylum and having this guy that fucking had a straight jacket for 30 years he died and now he's haunted me yeah you don't need that and I feel like ghosts probably are take that offense to that when they see all those movies they're like we're not like that both of us are nice I would have known that'd be cool if there was a nice ghost hey hey hey even then though like if I was having a real tough day and a ghost just appeared and was like it's alright man take it he's like get the fuck out of here man yeah yeah I'd be terrified like I don't is there such thing as a nice ghost though yeah maybe a

nice ghost is a ghost that doesn't fucking show itself to you dog yeah maybe like a guiding ghost maybe there's like a ghost that helps you out all the time like something like almost falls on your head and like the ghost just like moves you to the side yeah but one has that happened to you ever I would say like close car accidents maybe hmm or like I think they're grabbing the wheel yeah yeah yeah Jesus take the wheel yeah I guess Jesus is a ghost Jesus a ghost yeah the holy ghost dude whoa brother what's the difference between a spirit and a ghost how much time you got I think a spirit is more of like an entity and a

ghost is a physical form of a motherfucker that you can't that night you could see that you like you could see him like though like you said the one like would be like at your bed like hey what's good can he touch me though or like fuck me that's a ghost a ghost I think a fuck by a ghost yeah ghost can fuck you a spirit is just like like like a aura wait now that I'm thinking about in movies right when there's a ghost and people get really afraid and it's like he's like angry and like whatever like you can't like you go you pass through them how can they hit you because they have ghost powers you've never seen ghosts with

Patrick Swayze yeah fucking pottery or whatever and tries to push that can yeah yeah yeah then he fucking flicks it then he could touch it whatever he wants and those weird crazy monsters come out of the floor at the end and pull that shadow monsters yeah spoiler alert spoiler alert of a 40 year old movie yeah rest in peace Patrick Swayze yo what a hot man yeah man I need to dance even though dirty dancing I think he was courting like a 16 year old girl or something different back then even though that I mean you're away at camp doesn't really help your whole like thing yeah just because I happen at camp

doesn't make it any less illegal yeah it's still like all fucked up yeah I feel like camp is the you know a gateway drug to like an anal or something yeah yeah a lot of sick shit happens at camp I've never been to camp you got to go to camp well I can't go to camp now yeah one I mean we talked about camp before but I can't as a grown man go to camp I'm talking about going to camp when you're a kid and it's like you're just trying a bunch of stuff you know like oh my god I got a smear off ice and like six people like split it like one smear saw I've been high if I just start speaking German oh it's nice it's nice yeah I

don't know man well I don't know either well you went to camp I went to basketball camp and then I would have a lot of homosexual experiences at basketball camp oh yeah dude it was just dude no I've been to basketball camp what about but not like camp where it's like you know during the day we're gonna be out on the canoes and then at night we're sneaking in wine spritzer no no no no my family couldn't afford that mess yeah no it's like how much is that it's a lot of money dude it's like thousands yeah upon thousands for like two months yeah fire though yeah dude eight people are really getting it done they know what you're

doing that's what I'm saying if I had kids and like dude if I had a bunch of kids and I could be like oh yo two months out of the year I don't have to see you suck my ass yeah that alone is worth the money that's I don't even care where they go that's gotta be I know I'd pay someone here it's $10,000 just drive them out to the country and that's gotta be the worst part of parenting to like when you have to go to work and it's like shit like what am I gonna do my kids now summer vacations I honestly when you said that the only thing I thought of is like when you have kids and then you go to work and then on your

way home you're like I can't even relax I got fucking kids no no no no well that's true too but like you know it's like kids is also kind of one of those things like why do we do this to ourselves you know it's like yeah you know let's do it I mean they're great but but it's a lot of work what a mess it's a lot of work you know what the real crazy the only good thing is that they'll live longer than you knock on wood yeah also you know being a teacher psychotic mess yeah I don't know why people like volunteer to be teachers I get educated in the youth or whatever but from what I was told in this city

don't get paid even close to enough I think for what they're doing oh yeah I have friends who are teachers you know what I'm saying they go into work they deal with these little fucking assholes all day who's on their phone now snap chatting to who what's going on yeah you know what I'm saying yeah and then I assigned some fucking homework half you don't do it fucking tell me over here's a prick every day in class then I'm like you guys got to write essays finally the day comes you gotta turn in your essay now I gotta go read 30 essays about this about Abraham Lincoln yeah 30 Abraham Lincoln essays I would get

through three and then all of them would get like an average I'd be like yeah everyone's gonna be plus fuck there's people that do that for sure and then there's also like I hated when teachers would read your papers and ask you questions while grading it they'll be like yeah but what does this mean I'll be like what do you want me to come up and tell you at the desk what it meant should I should I write you a letter yeah should I rewrite it and then tell you I hated that shit what do you think is that harder to teach little kids or older kids little kids yeah fuck them like yeah like people like my fiance teachers

kindergarten oh what a psycho yeah and she teaches kids how to read like the fundamentals of learning oh way harder way harder I feel like when you get older it's like I'm just reading out of this book I assume you guys have something yeah imagine teaching somebody had a right from scratch I'm I'm upset you're just you're just giving a kid that doesn't know shit and it's like okay look I'm gonna teach you the alphabet and I'm gonna teach you how to write and you have to talk in a teacher voice the whole time at least if you're like a professor you could be like all right guys settle the fuck down yeah

Steven calm down all right yeah take it easy but with kids it's like you yelled them they're like I don't know what that means really yeah my dad lets me eat fruit roll-ups at this time like I don't give a fuck and then your people get pushed they're crying oh crying they can't go to the bathroom by themselves crying the crying peeing in their pants pooping in their pants yeah these are all things that I've done but yeah yeah as an adult I pooped my pants and pre-k I didn't tell you that story no you have okay good yeah poop my pants and pre-k cried all the time were you cry you were a crybaby not all the time but

you're a crybaby good amount yeah just cuz you didn't get what you want or you wanted to go home no I just was a bitch there's always one kid that just wants to go home shut the fuck oh no no no I enjoyed like being with classmates and friends and shit I did one of those kids like if you lost in a game you would cry oh oh yeah damn dude you must be awful I was saying what you look not like tantrum just be like not like a tantrum but just crying like I'm upset like yo in third grade I did I did the softball throw because we had this thing called field day I wasn't ready yeah I had field day to yes I love how you said

field day like nobody does it I don't know every school does we had a field we had this thing called field day what color are you were you color not a lot of time classes classes so it's classes but we did you like signed up for whatever and I was one of the better athletes in the whole fucking school in third grade all right cheap hop cheap hop cheap hop real pop I'm this is a reason why I'm saying so in third grade I'm like you know what I'm gonna do the softball toss because my friend Dennis who was a ridiculous athlete when we were in third grade tennis Dennis was the fastest kid in the world and I wasn't

gonna beat him at the relay which is what everyone does I'll throw him though but he wasn't doing it so I was like you know what I'm gonna get this this fucking blue ribbon nice yeah cuz I just wanted to get first place yeah and so in third grade I threw the ball mm-hmm further than everyone in the fifth grade like tossed the shit out of it right and this kid who was in fifth grade who was like you know he wasn't trying to like fuck me or anything but he was like oh you stepped over the line so I got disqualified I like easily would have won first place like in the whole school's watching so I threw this shit

everyone's like whoa like it was like you know like a there was a roar amongst the crowd and then the guys like you stepped over the line it was like fucking dodgeball in that scene so they really he they counted it disqualified a third grader I was crying from the review of a third grader they just from a fifth grader just the word of a fifth grader scumbag you know where that kid lives right down that block piece of shit I swear to God I always let him know like not always but when I see him out cuz I don't really see him that often he's like older than me but I'll be like yo actually he might have not been in

fifth grade he was he was older he might have been like an eighth grade what a fucking snitch yeah man I was pissed I cried a lot like right there in front of everyone oh in front of everyone dude cuz I was like I was like oh my god one and then it's like I kid just can't win did your mom work at the school at that time she worked as soon as I graduated I was gonna say that you have like usher you off like to a place to talk to you calm you down literally in the arms of my third grade teacher miss poker been shout out and I was just crying in her arms she actually gave me a card like a few days later with a

ribbon in it that said like first place and she wrote me this thing about how like you know I should have won and damn she was smashed dude she was like 70 I mean when you're nine how old you in third grade eight or nine okay cuz I think fifth grade you're ten I think so yeah that's my story man well fucked up man hopes and dreams crash and burn fucking stuck with you huh yeah shout out Anton yeah I remember every bad sports loss of my entire life that was my worst one yeah being DQ'd after you think you won oh man I remember one times and third like second or third grade basketball we were playing this team called Ocean

City and they had all the good players they had they had all like the really good players they had you know they were they were an urban school so they were black kids they were very good at basketball why aren't you saying I was like you're making it sound we're than it should be no so they had a couple of kids on there there were monsters yeah I had a school over here called St. Gabe's absolute filthy yeah they were just amazing athletes so we played them earlier in the season and the game was like kind of close but at the end they pulled away and beat us by like 16 yeah so my coach like after the game was like

hey man like you know we'll see him again because you play everybody twice man so we played them in the like the semi-finals and in the first half we were down like 11 points so like you're in it you're in it but like in your head you're like all right like you know let's just try not to get blown out you know we come back and tie the game dude ooh so we tie Ocean City and their coach is fucking yelling at them cuz like they took us you know they're like we beat them before but yeah yeah they're also in second grade in third grade so you know I don't think anyone's basketball IQ so we're down we get the whole game they

get they get back up by one we have one possession left at this time I was a very good like driver and disher to the basket so we had one tall kid on our team this tall white kid John McCaffrey great kid that's the widest yeah yeah he's a nice kid so we're dribbling we're dribbling there's like 11 seconds left and this is like not scoreboard this is like a woman holding a clock yeah of course you know what I'm saying so it's like she's just yelling time yeah yeah yeah so it's like six five four I just hit slow-mo pass like throw it to this kid John one at one he shoots it right yeah so we think we made it oh he hit

the shot so the refs go over to this bitch right and they're they're having a conference and they ask cuz it's a semi-finals you got to call it you know what I'm saying they said did the clock hit zero before the ball went in they didn't even do it as it left his hand it had to be the ball had to go in by by the time didn't she said no it hit zero before and we fucking lost that's how you lost yeah some fucking bitch were to stop watch oh my god yeah it was terrible what did she look like she was just like a old she was a white woman you know like a white woman that wears like a sweater and then a turtleneck

under it yeah that's what that's what it was like a sweater vest it was a sweater vest and then a white turtleneck I bet she had a white oh it was a white turtleneck and a sweater vest yeah yeah well you know basketball's in the winter so yeah I know but that's extra warm yeah yeah yeah Jesus fuck this one yeah she and she also worked at the concessions glasses no kind of shoes uh I can't remember open toe though it's gross open toe in a bag well I know she worked at I wanted to create her in my mind and hate her she worked at the concessions thing too like during like open gym yeah so like I got to see her

for like months after that I was this fucking bitch yeah and then she also got mad at me because I used to ask for sodas with no ice in them and then she had this whole thing like because I was like yeah if you put ice in it there's not that much soda in it oh like you know if you put ice in something it's like not as much she was like that's not true that's not true let me show you right now so this bitch literally filled the thing up one with ice and one without ice and poured them in she goes see it's not even that big of a difference so you can have ice I was like damn you know this bitch bring that game too also that's

not true at all it's not true at all yeah so not only did she screw you she's a fucking idiot yeah she's a maniacal bitch I hate this probably not around still though she was kind of definitely dead yeah rest in peace well I can tell you what that was heavy she's haunting your ass yeah that's why we're talking about ghouls come get me see I wouldn't I wouldn't be asking the other side that kind of thing the upside down what's it called the hell yeah let's turn this thing completely on its head here let's turn it on its head here I have some sponsors that I want to get to before we move on we do have

something special planned for today but before we get to that let's get to the sponsors everyone are you ready Danny I'm ready for some sponsors baby I'm also ready first one we have is C-keek love C-keek basically with C-keek it's an app where you can buy tickets to any sporting event any Broadway play or concert or whatever has tickets they got them on C-keek it's a very cool interface very easy to use they have over 50,000 five-star reviews a lot of stars and a lot of reviews a lot of satisfaction here just I read a whole mess of satisfaction satisfactory yeah and they have like an interactive seat

map so you can see what the view is from your seat I'm good I got a good price ticket if it's a bad price ticket because if it's a bad price you don't want to get ripped off they're trying to help you with that dog Yankees are playing the Mets tonight I got some green green tickets for tonight that's lit yeah but yeah it's the only app I used to buy tickets the very it's the easiest one that I find right now C-keek will give you ten dollars off your first C-keek purchase all you need to do is use our promo code which is basement okay ten dollars off your first purchase download the C-keek app and use the code

basement for ten dollars off okay next up we have open fit okay maybe wondering what is this open fit takes all the complexity out of losing weight and getting fit it's a brand new super simple streaming service that allows you to work out from the comfort of your living room in as little as ten minutes a day alright so if you don't have like this long-term time long period of time to work out all you need ten minutes that's what they're saying and they are a company so I trust them but right now you sculpt your body in the convenience of your own home like I said you know you you work out with amazing trainers

like Andrea Rogers who's the founder of world wide sensation extend bar Andrea Rogers lovely name by the way but yeah it's a four it's affordable and it's accessible if you're going on vacation or whatever you can do it from your phone or your tablet or whatever I still don't even know what a tablet is I haven't like seen one with my eyes you have I don't I don't know I know it's an iPad technically tab I guess so you could use one of those two if you want you use you get what you put in you can see results within 30 days which is crazy in the grand scheme of days of your life it's not that many yeah if you want to

lose weight and keep it off you could lose up to 15 pounds in just the first 30 days the right way whoa that is huge why are you looking at me you're the only one here I don't know what I said get crossed up all over this damn shot of that open foot open fit has changed the way you know people are working out and text the code texting our code basement to 30 30 30 you can join in on the fitness journey personalized just for you you know right now during the open fit 30-day challenge our listeners can get a special extended 30-day free trial membership to open fit when you text basement to 30 30 30 okay one more

time that is basement to 30 30 30 all right and you get all the workouts and nutritional information totally free all right sound good me boom next we have pretty litter still still shocked by the science of this product yeah so pretty litter is a kitty litter okay but it's not your typical kitty litter it's not your mom's kitty litter it's not your mom's kitty litter okay usually you walk into someone's house they have a cat you're like it smells kind of weird in here like a weird mint slash urine smell yeah cat urine smell why is that yeah why is it burning my eyes yeah why is it I'm my eyes are getting red yeah

this hurts it's a very strange thing but pretty litter is kitty litter 2.0 okay so this is next level kitty litter shipped right to your door in a small lightweight bag that lasts the entire month again that's a long time a long time no more running to the pet store or storing heavy open bags of cat litter in your closet I can only imagine what that does to your jackets yeah all mothie probably gross oh my god just super mothie pretty litter has next level odor protection it uses super absorbing crystals that actually trap and conceal odor and moisture no smell no mess crap that stink that's what I'm saying hell

yeah I might just you know I might start using it myself throw it in my toilet see if it works for me you know I don't recommend that though it's for your cat let's not be crazy but the best part about pretty litter this is what Daniel's talking about it even monitors your cat's health so it changes colors to detect underlying illnesses before urgent medical care is needed saving you money stress and potentially your cat's life that is frigging amazing yeah I need to shake the hand of this man yes you know I'm saying or woman dogs are missing out they are they are pretty little yeah make the switch to pretty

litter today go to pretty litter dot com use the promo code basement for 20% off your first order that's pretty litter dot com use the promo code basement for 20 percent off your first order okay promo code basement 20 20% that's a good percent that is a great percent you got to remember only cool cats use pretty litter wow thanks bro on fire up in here yeah good check your pee of your cat that's amazing all right we have a new sponsor for today is last one we have new sponsors we have native okay native deodorant and looked into this as a person who doesn't really use deodorant right because one day someone's like

yo deodorant first of all look into another thing don't really smell all the time right it's on and off but there's a lot of there's a lot of stuff in deodorant that isn't safe that isn't safe right aluminum amongst other things right amongst other things but someone told me that one day it's like it's actually not good to use like deodorant like all the time yeah because there's some stuff in it that could like it's not great it's not great it's not great and some say it's like cancer it causes I don't know whatever it is but basically native is a what's the word I'm looking for it's basically like a all

the clean ingredients all natural natural that's the one why can I why can I think of this it's insane all natural cruelty free as well cruelty free no animal testing okay it's made in the USA with an ingredients thought thoughtfully sourced from around the world okay and it works you don't have to hold back they hang out with your workout you got busy mom life 16 hours a day you're raising kids doing whatever you're gonna sweat doing like you know I'm saying it's easy to get stanky it's all dude you know you probably smell right now 7,000 five-star reviews it's a lot bang bang that's a lot you know what I mean and

they have sense dude you know rattle sense on these things rattle them off the one I'm using coconut and vanilla I'm just like a dude I don't even know I just smell like a just amazing yeah if anyone ever smells like coconut and vanilla I want to be around it smells like a clean apartment yes yeah yeah yeah you know what I mean so coconut and vanilla I'm excited I'm excited to get my pack they have lavender and rose that's sexy I love lavender and rose is pretty good too yeah very sexy and their ticket yeah very sexy cucumber and mint now that's like that sounds like something I'd eat yeah yeah for sure the

only problem with this is that you might want to eat it yeah and please don't please don't eat it but yeah they're they have really good the coconut I was the one I'm using but it's great and I like that you know that there's not aluminum or any of these like hurtful minerals or whatever you want to call them in these things and it's no risk to try they to to it's no risk to try they offer free returns and exchanges in the USA subscribe and save 17% you save $2 per stick and have native conveniently delivered to your door every one two three or four months yeah and that's another thing to deodorant

it's annoying to have to go to the store all the time and get deodorant a lot of it you know it's tough it's tough and I feel like the new wave is getting things like that that you kind of forget about like a deodorant you would forget about so eventually you're not gonna know about until you're like I don't have any yes and all right by that time's too late you got to go to work and then you forget after working out two days no deodorant yeah now you're double stanky yeah you're doing like doing like a bar of soap being weird yeah yeah let native take care of that let native take care of that okay they got great

sense it's like you know it's I will say and they even admit the the price point is higher than the standard because they go out of their way for that but it's worth it when you know you're you're keeping your body safe and you're smelling like cucumber and mint or like coconut and vanilla dude it's worth it it's worth it love native for 20% off your first purchase visit native deodorant com and use the promo code basement during checkout again that is 20% off your first order and go to native deodorant com and put in the promo code basement at checkout okay and there you go folks bang bang bada boom bang bang all right now

speaking of eating things speaking of eating things so this is gonna get real hot you know me and Danny in the past have done some brackets to figure out what is the best whatever it is you know we did the Disney one I think yeah Disney versus Pixar right and we did the championship brand champion chip bracket now we have the greatest candy of all time bracket and we have four divisions heads are gonna roll heads are gonna roll here okay and I already know there's something on this list that I'm gonna have to come across this table and fight you for we have four divisions chocolate safe safe a sour like it

sweet love it and then we have a miscellaneous yeah okay so that's what we're doing all right and listen we only have four we seeded them before we did this we're like we need to know like if we have to agree on like the best chocolate or the best sweet the best sour yeah and the best miscellaneous yeah you know what I'm saying so just to go over should we go over each one now or should we just like I say we just roll with it let it be a surprise because listen people are gonna have candies on here that that aren't on here and they're gonna be like oh why wasn't on there listen they were in heavy consideration yeah at the end of

the day yeah this is what we decided on yeah if you don't like it don't do anything yeah just continue watching just sit back and relax sick that six six back six back six backs six backs all right so in the chocolate and we got the one seed Twix yeah Twix is a one seed Twix is a one seed is amazing I like that two of them come in the pack I like that too because it makes me feel like oh I got two of them for the price of one that's what that's the illusion and there's a lot of layers you got that you got the outside chocolate you got the caramel big caramel guy and that wafer cookie new get dare I say new dare you

say it I think it's like Graham could be new get yeah I feel like new good is the name of some like white guy who like has like a pocket protector yeah yeah oh hey new get you know yeah anyway Isaac new get yeah the two seed snickers safe to say it's chalk so they're there every year they're every year yeah great fun size a lot of marketing money too yeah and it's great in every size true three Reese's Reese's butter cups yeah peanut butter cups we're not fucking with Reese's pieces yeah I know that came way later we're talking about the classic Reese's pieces butter cups yes messes me I'll mess you up yes suck those cups yeah you

were suck on a cup suck a cup yeah like a like a peanut butter cup they meant like a D cup no come on too we've all sucked the cup let's go we've all sucked big-ass and then the four seed Kit Kat Kit Kat love Kit Kat all reliable all reliable yeah and also maybe 30 years ago would be a higher seed but we've got more innovative yeah right so obviously when you see it this way one place four two place three so the first matchup we have twix versus Kit Kat I will go out and say the battle of the double the double sticks oh wow actually no well kick head is like so let's just take that into consideration though there is

more there is more to break you off piece of that Kit Kat fancy feast yes football cream football cream no but Kit Kat's okay they're not that crazy as a twix they don't satisfy my candy needs as much as a that caramel that caramel takes it over the top because if you think about it if you take the caramel out of a twix it's a kick it's a Kit Kat yeah it's the caramel that puts it over the top yeah honestly I was trying to defend it but I can't I can't no no no it's fucking twix and you're a big you're a big Kit Kat guy I think you Kit Kat more than you eat twix oh I love the cat yeah you know that could mean a

ton of things and I'm ready for all of them but if you're in a Dwayne reed or Walgreens or whatever you guys have and there's twix and there's Kit Kat which one do you grab it depends that depends that's what I said it depends what no no it depends no it doesn't it doesn't matter it doesn't matter you have to just pick it depends if I had to pick between a twix and a Kit Kat on what's just like overall better yeah it's a twix alright so twix is moving on twix is moving on it's a sad day for Kit Kat to be honest with you but they put up a like a good fight like great fight like the score was like 75 to 73 yeah no one

think they'd come this far no you know what they shock some people in the tournament but it's your time to go home sorry Kit Kat yes all right next we have Snickers and Reese's okay this is this is clash of Titans really for me yeah no I got Snickers like it's not even close for me wow you're nuts dude it you know that yeah it's Snickers now here's the thing that's smart got him smart like that pun all over this bitch do you like peanuts more than you like peanut butter though no there's a cup of chocolate and peanut butter and Snickers are crunchy it's crunchy yeah okay so you have to you know the one thing I will

give it is that the fridge ability of it the cooling factor of the Snickers say the fridge ability yeah that's a word yeah yeah we made that up for sure the freeze ability and the fridge ability to make it cold is higher than a butter cup and I also don't like when Reese's butter cups you open them up and like it's the peanut butter showing already you know because it like it melted a little bit and it's like oh they took off half the top of that I want that I also don't like their packaging I don't like that Reese's coming this little cupcake holder or whatever yeah yeah it's a lot of cleanup it's more cleanup

so I'm gonna have to say Snickers to I'm saying Snickers you open it up it's it got the little the white cartridge holder way too much you know what is the fucking machine gun clip you can't eat that on the road no I got too many come on it's a clean up mess all right that's the end of the first round for chocolate next we have miscellaneous miscellaneous okay miscellaneous and now the one seat spell miscellaneous just go I don't think I can spell it you know it's MISC ELL AN OUS miscellaneous oh yeah am I MISC ELL holy shit I don't know the OUS okay lanius lanius no don't look it up don't look it up just ride out with it let me

spell it MISC do you say N M okay MISC yes e LL today junior L are you going to the mall tomorrow LL AN CIO US miscellaneous are you OS that was so wrong it spelled it correctly did you really spell it yeah it's Lane like a lane like a lane L&E missile aim it's miss OUS OUS yes it's MISC ELL AN E OUS okay you threw a C in there I'm sorry like miscellaneous miscellaneous all right anyway we have gushers coming in at number one yeah it's a very good fucking candy yeah gushers but I never know what

flavor I'm eating I also I mean yeah I honestly does not fucking matter yeah also it's the feel it exploded I've never eat them I've never eaten them like one at a time no no it's like I take one out and then the rest are connected I'm like well I'm eating this whole yeah I'm eating this fucking double helix of fucking gushers number two we have twizzlers okay some licorice didn't know where that fit into any of this shit but I know it's like a pretty popular candy yeah twizzlers are good yeah three we have Mike and Ike we've had that argument well let's just move forward and then four we have to see pop

a tootsie pop classic all right so one verse for gushers for we have gushers versus tootsie pop tootsie pops are out for me because they cut your tongue okay don't be a bitch no I'm just saying though like it does like a tootsie pop yeah it cuts the roof of your mouth was it a dangerous thing it's a pop it's a tootsie pop first of all it's just a pop also it was misleading all those commercials how many licks does it take to get to the center you gotta get a McQuest you gotta owl licks it three times and then bites it that owls full of shit then there was like another one that said it takes like eight I can't remember what it was I

don't like that it cut my tongue multiple times I can't with you it's a it's a it's a lollipop it's on the go you can look at me look at me having fun and you could suck you could do that which is fun and then in the middle when you're like really almost done with it you get a chocolate surprise yeah I don't know I don't know I love tootsie pops it's gonna be a note from me Doug you're gonna take gushers yeah gushers I had more fun with what I just know that taste bud wise I had more fun eating gushers than I did a tootsie pop but it's bigger than that Danny no it's not what tastes better I gotta take a lot of things that

think about this I mean I'm okay I'm fighting for tootsie pop here all right gushers I know you want an upset but it's gonna be tough listen you pop open that gushers they're all connected and they're very sweaty they are a sweaty candy and there's no way you're eating a fucking a gusher without getting your hands all fucking sticky jizzy yeah you know yeah so these fucking gushers you open them maybe there's like two that are like singles but the rest of them are all connected yeah which is annoying I gotta break this apart I'm not doing that is it added work also sometimes you open it one of them pop there's gush

blood everywhere what you're not complaining about but now I'm missing out on some gush blood in the middle of my gusher yeah you don't want to empty gush mean it yes I'm saying you don't want to gosh so it's just you know consistent out with this that outweigh the actual physical toll a tootsie pop takes on your mouth there's no toll you never you're gonna go on record right now tell me that a tootsie pop is never cut your mouth it has scratched me a cut Jesus a guy have I've been severed by a tootsie pop no all right it's all it's more classic a lollipop children love the lollipop standing there's

different flavors there's different flavors chocolate cherry there's watermelon even yeah all right suede me yes tootsie pop suede me all right this one you're not gonna be able to sway me you thought that was bad yeah next we have twizzlers versus Mike and I not even close it's twizzlers okay I just I'm going to lose my fucking I don't understand what's your whole thing with licorice liquor liquor what are you 97 it has nothing to do with age liquorice is disgusting and only people from the roaring 20s eat it dude you're talking about Mike and Ike's that shit is chalk it's chalk are you even aware of what

Mike it doesn't taste like I've been on the war I've been in candy longer than you that's not true apparently if you think Mike and Ike is I have diabetes I've been eating chocolate and candy longer than you dude I don't give a fuck I don't give a shit okay if I had Mike you was last time you had a Mike and Ike that's exactly the answer I thought you were gonna have cuz you don't fucking know anything no because I don't take time partaking in garbage candy twizzlers are disgusting why are they disgusting they all you don't like cherry you don't like cherry shit it's not cherry it's cherry licorice which is a cherry it's licorice

I'm just letting you know right now you don't like cherry things it's it listen you like everything but real cherries listen I'll tell you this right now tell me if you're gonna tell me that a twizzler and a Michelin tire don't taste the same you're wrong they don't they do they do not they do black licorice I let you have it I let Mike and Ike just walk into the second round but I'm letting you know this Mike and Ike is not an enjoyable candy are you fucking crazy it's replace it's it's placeholder candy placeholder candy it's not even candy that you even like you go out of the way you don't go to the store to buy

it you don't a placeholder candy yes it's just there to be there it's like shitty double mint gum you're never gonna buy double mint gum sticks of gum you're gonna buy orbit something that comes in a cool case you're gonna buy something that's better they still produce it because people buy it in small little boxes when you want to be the worst house on the block on Halloween that's where Mike and I car twizzlers can suck my dick we're gonna have to come some kind of agreement here I can't I can't yo yo licorice the way it's spelled even his piss it look like core rice ah there's a cue in it it's one of the

worst fucking letters what about the peel what about like the peely one what's that called it's all twizzlers you could peel twizzlers yeah no no you can I think it's a red vine no yeah yeah yeah but it's all gross it's no dude and there's more there's more flavors it's more sweet I don't like the texture of Mike and Dyke texture it's around bead no I like I like I like the doc I like dots better than that with the paper oh oh no you know jelly dots oh yeah I like those two yeah but they get they get caught in my teeth they do they do and so no they don't Mike and I can be I feel like I'm chewing like a camel no that's

not true you have not chewed more Mike and I think I have you have it I'm just telling you if we went tail of the tape just looking at each other side by side I think I got you beat in the candy category not Mike and I licorice I'll let you have licorice I think twizzlers I refuse to call it twizzlers all right it's licorice it's disgusting you don't like what about just like another curveball what about taffy you like taffy like sea salt taffy yeah like salt water taffy why are you naming all of these grandma fucking candies oh I'm sorry you don't like fudge either fudge yeah fudge is good that's an old person

anything that you have to go to the Jersey Shore to get is old people candy just like unmarked candies yeah like my grandma would have unmarked shit I'm like what is this she goes I don't it's just like an orange tablet I'm like what the fuck is this or it has like a really fine cursive writing on it it's like what yeah it looks like an elf wrote this yeah I don't want this I gave you totzy pop give me give me give me licorice whatever take your fucking disgusting licorice all right moving on to the sour category let's do it let's do it okay we have at the one seed obviously sour patch watermelon oh let's go

let's get fucking really yeah to my my pick honestly I think to win it all I don't know how this is gonna go but I'd like them a lot oh you you're already making a hot call here oh yeah I like I have them in my final four easy she's good Lord all right we have a sour patch watermelon at the one seed two seeds sour skittles it's a great great runner up skittles are good adding a sour element to it yeah three sour patch children sour patch kids you know what I mean and then the four seed are sour gummy worms yeah the trolleys trolleys not ever the triolis I don't know strombolis strombolis I don't know but

when your school would serve you stromboli my school never served me a stromboli really no damn we have stromboli there's fire all right keep going all right we have the one verse four which is sour patch watermelon versus sour gummy worms it's been a nice ride sour gummy worms but I'm sorry yes I do like the two toneness of sour gummy worms oh worms are great you know what I'm saying I like that I can just eat half blue half 15 of them yeah yeah it's not that they're terrible but you're going up against like you know a juggernaut here yeah it's I'm sorry yeah

you know what I'm saying also they have sour like octopuses octopi do they really yeah wow and it's literally like five gummy worms connected to one big ball that's something I would be interested in I am very interested in yeah I want to get candy so bad after this oh yeah probably shouldn't you know you me both okay now we have sour skittles and sour patch kids now I am going to give this to sour skittles oh and it's close but the reason I'm going to give it to sour skittles is because there is a threat

uh you'd have to watch the video for that one um sour patch kids can get overwhelming it could fuck my tongue up real bad you have one sensitive mouth you're afraid of toji pops and now this with the kids but no if you because you want to know the thing about sour patch kids there's leftover dust in there yeah you slide that right down your face no man that should burns your whole shit up what shit you get to like you're popping those green ones you're like oh I'm I'm I'm sad I'm all right

you pop a couple of those yellow babies you're scruggling no yeah dude it burns your mouth out you got a bitch ass tongue uh I'll be honest I like the kids you like the kids I like kids the kids now what do you why do you like them more than do what what do you like more sour patch melons or sour patch kids hey you can't be doing feature matchups no but I'm just saying no it's like I like the kids because there's diversity okay right that's true that's true there are it's more of a unifying candy

that's no I'm not talking about in the war I'm with people with people oh sorry the fuck I thought you were talking about like that no there's flavors yeah there's flavors too in Skittles motherfucker yeah that's true I didn't think about it here's my only coming from a guy didn't you say fucking like purple was your favorite Skittle or something fucking maniac what didn't you rate this Skirtle the Skittles I said that was the worst one all right well okay now the only reason I will be willing to give it to sour patch kids because I can't name

any sour Skittles flavors yeah I don't know but I will say this cool bag though green bag I will say love the green bag yeah love the green bag but when they get a little melted fucks up everything true but I will say the the sour patch kids is not that like sour it's a good like it's a good sour level yeah sour Skittles can make you fucking jaw hurt back here yeah there's a lot of extra chewing at least you could suck upon a kid fuck

we're gonna we're gonna edit that you can't say suck upon a kid on the show no I'm sorry you know what I meant so you could suck this you could suck those sour patch children to that's not helpful either adding children into that almost made it fucking worse to be honest you could suck the sour patch candy that's yeah you want to sour okay so you could suck the kids get what kind of sick fuck makes a candy or you suck kids uh you eat little children yeah yeah it's kind of pedophily now if I'm if I'm being honest you know hey let's

make a candy and just a bunch of sour kids and you suck on you suck on the kids yeah oh you sick freak told you yeah but I love them they're really good you gave me licorice I'll let you suck the kids oh we're sick men just sick men here all right I'll let you suck the kids honey I suck the kids Jesus that's great yeah it's probably out there in the black market somewhere too dark too real sorry moving forward

too real okay uh it's a sweet category I wonder if people are agreeing with us so far probably not oh there's no way Twizzler Mike and Ike debate is always a big one and you know there's some like bastard out there so like dude what where's candy corn you fucking losers you know what I'm ready to talk about candy corn before we get into this uh what a what a polarizing candy I know and in fact that it's still around see I would put Mike and Ike's and candy corn in the same bracket like that's where they stand with me there's a lot of stuff I want to say to

you right now but I know if I say it on the show we'll get canceled okay um no I'm angry yeah yeah I will I will I'll take it into account I have I have I promise listen no but candy corn is one of those candies it's like I don't like it but I eat it yeah it's not a good candy I don't like it but it keeps going into my mouth yeah because it's there just like Mike and Ike's they're there okay all right probably like good and plenty's too keep going I'm starting to get hot good and plenty's

oh do you know what good and plenty's are licorice you dumb bitch yeah but they're small things that aren't they're not the same texture as twizzlers not even close but they're licorice they're made of the same things no but they're not even close oh yeah texture wise oh you're not a texture person it's liquor the taste is the problem no it's about texture too dude texture brother kid what is a twizzler it feels like barbed wire your palate is so juvenile yeah you got a a mouth I'm afraid of the tootsie pop

get the fuck out of here I don't want to cut my mouth on joint candy I would cut my mouth for a tootsie pop any fucking day anyway we got the sweet category coming up it's not gonna be sweet I'll tell you I think this will be chalk we have uh the one seat is starburst great fucking candy what a classic candy it's one of the first ones you grab when you get in there what was your favorite starburst again you fucking crazy person no the pink oh yeah that's one too yeah but then it goes yellow and that's where people have problems

I like yellow over red yeah I do too I like yellow over red I go yellow red orange I have whoa the orange wait the orange is last okay yeah right orange is trash yeah I thought I thought for a second that you said orange red no no no right is better than orange I don't know if I could do the rest of the show yeah you're really throwing that hand out there at me huh safe safe safe um so starburst is the one seed two seed skittles love skittles big skittle guy

were you one of those people like weird kid that like put water in the bag what kind of sick demented children a lot of a lot of kids did that a lot of kids did that where I grew up a lot of Jewish kids maybe it's a Jewish thing ew why would they do that oh I thought you meant because I said Jewish uh I just had to save you there for a second oh man I was like all right so one of the comments like do you say that because of the Jewish thing I was like is it the gross disgusting putting water into the skittle bag like it's some fucking candy cereal did you just ill the Jew

that's really funny um no but that is honestly yeah I never did I thought it was gross I don't think I don't like water touching anything like I'm a person like uh yeah your body I hate that I hate it I hate it I hate showers I hate showers uh three gummy bears oh ribos so clutch also great great fridge candy yeah yeah fridge tory candy it has uh uh a frigidory uh value what was the word you made up before it wasn't frigidory no that's a great one um all right and four we have swedish fish

frigidory maybe I said I don't know but swedish fish comes in at the foreseed loves swedish fish they're good yeah but also another thing gets way too stuck in my mouth really I don't feel like that at all yeah man swedish fish can get all up in your gums no I would think like starburst more than anything in this list gets stuck. Yeah, Starburst is like edible gum. Yeah, I could pull my fucking teeth out with that shit. One verse four, Starburst versus Swedish fish.

I mean, I gotta give it to Starburst. And too much fucking, it's too versatile. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Now I'm gonna talk about Skittles versus Gummy Bears. Gets a little tough. I'm gonna go with Gummy Bears. Now I'm going Skittles.

You're going Skittles? Yes, dude. Nah, man. Dude, don't do this. Yo, hurry up, Gummy Bear. I don't know you all right now. I thought this was easy. First of all, didn't you have like a 70 pound bag of Gummy Bears

and ate all of them? I didn't buy that. Somebody bought it for you. Yeah. And you ate the whole bag. It was impressive. I'm not even trying to make you feel bad. It was a gift.

You don't throw out gifts. You enjoy the gift. You ate that whole thing. And there must have been 5,000 Gummy Bears in there. Oh, yeah, but over a period of time. Right, but you were running purely off water in Gummy Bears for like a short period of time. Listen, I'm a person that when I have a goal in front of me,

I put my head down. I really commit to it, you know what I mean? You put your feet in the ground. Yeah, I'm a method actor. So, you know, I was really getting in the zone. And like I said, it was a gift. I didn't want to throw it out. So, you know, I had to enjoy it.

Yeah, you pull up your bootstraps and go to work. That's it. Really, so why is the Skittle better than a Haribo Gummy Bear? Because it's just, it just is, you know, like it's a better packaging. That's a great argument, by the way. It just is. And you know what I like to do?

Just kind of fun. You take two Skittles, you smush them together, and they like kind of spread out. Smush them together? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you take two of them. Damn, you gotta be pretty strong to do that. Aren't they hard candy? You don't have to be strong.

But you put two together like this. And then you can just crush them. And then they both become flat. And you're like, ooh. Here's my argument. Here's my argument. This is the most ridiculous one. Yeah, I know.

Here's my argument. Yeah? There's a bad flavor of Skittle. There is not a bad flavor of Gummy Bear. The white one. The white one. But it doesn't taste like anything. It's like, it's like a, it's like a, it's like.

It's nothing. No, it's not flavor. It's just a gelatin thing. No, but it's like, it's a, it's like a white, it's, it's like a spritzer kind of. It's like the spritzer of the, of the Gummy Bears. What the hell are you talking? You know, it's like a white wine spritzer.

It's like, it's nice. It's nice. It's not nice. I think so. My arms still up. I don't know. But they're, but they're good. No, no.

Dude, we're talking about Skittles here. This is a powerhouse in the candy industry. We're going to be disrespected. You don't think Gummy Bears are a staple? I guarantee you. If we look up the stock, Skittles stock is way higher. Oh, well, they had the machine behind them. Hurrybo's just the guy just out here

making great, great product. That's not true. Skittles are great. Which one do you think is older? Skittles or Gummy Bears? I think the idea of a Gummy Bear is, is, is older. Thank you. The fuck does that mean?

Also, more fun to eat. You can bite the head off a bear. It's kind of sick. No, man, I honestly, I honestly, like, I, I really have to put my foot down for Skittles here. All right. Okay. I, I really think, I don't want to agree, but move it, just keep, just keep the, the

move it, whatever. You are flustered a little bit, a little bit. All right. All right. We're going to go back up to the top. Hurrybo, if you want to do a sponsorship, please call me. I will gladly throw Skittles into the wind for that, by the way. So again, we're going to send you three bags.

If anyone here works for Haribo, everyone fucking tweet at Haribo. Everyone tweeted Haribo. Don't send us though. How do you pronounce that, by the way? I say Haribo. Is it, is it Japanese? I don't know. Is it Haribo?

I say, I say Haribo. Some people say Haribo. I think it's Japanese. Maybe. Haribo. That's show. I don't know. Uh, type is Haribo Japanese.

If it's like Italian, I'm going to be so adamant. It is German, German. Not Japanese. So definitely not Japanese. 1922. Oh my God. Skittles not even close. I'm typing in Skittles.

What year do we have? I'm going to say 1948. Oh no, way later than that. Way later. 1975. Damn, dude. It was marketed as the gum that won't stick to most dental work. Do you want to let that go?

Dude, Skittles are amazing. Fine, fine, fine. What's next? God damn it. All right. All right. So we have in the chocolate category, moving on here. This is going to be a long episode.

Twix versus Snickers. Twix. Yeah. I think Twix easy. I just, I just don't like texture of Snickers that much. And I think, I don't, I think Snickers get like, for some reason, like they've gotten smaller. Really?

Yeah. Like the production value isn't as good as, as a Twix. Like at Twix, I know exactly what I'm getting. Snickers sometimes doesn't hit the spot for me. Twix always hits the spot. Twix are great, man. Always hits the spot. And when they're frozen.

Yeah, man. All right. Danny, Danny, Danny. We have Tootsie Pop versus Twizzlers. I'll give it to Tootsie Pop. Okay. Thank you. I really, I'm very tired from yelling.

No, I am too. But I'll give it to Tootsie Pop. Like, I'm not, listen, I'm a man, I'm a man with morals and I, and I have my stances, but I know where I stand. I know where I stand. Right. You know, I'm not going to stand on this. I'm not going to go to war for Twizzlers over something like a Tootsie Pop.

I understand you. Over a mic and I, I'm willing to die on that sword. Yeah, I'm willing to die as well. I know. Uh, Sour Patch Watermelon versus Sour Patch Children. I mean, the watermelon. Yeah. And after that whole like sucking on children thing.

Yeah. Get the kids out of here. Definitely put the kids to bed. Watermelon's coming downstairs. All right. Yeah. Save the children. Save the children.

All right. And then in the suite, we have Starburst versus Skittles. Starburst 100%. I don't think it's even close. Uh, that's a stretch, but I also will go Starburst. I don't even think it's close. I think Starburst blew him out by 30. Wasn't even close.

Okay. We're going to relax. I'm just saying what's worse, a purple Skittle or an orange Starburst? Honestly, that's not a good question to ask because. Why not? It's just two shittiest ones. Well, because my answer is, I don't know my answer. I don't know.

That's a bad question to ask because my answer is, I don't know my answer. I don't know, bro. Anyway. Uh, all right. Now moving right up right along. I want to shoot that fucking death ray at that goddamn fucking mic and like is what I want to do. I'm going to go get a box right now.

Uh, now we have Twix versus Tootsie Pop. Not even close again. It's not. It's not. Get that fucking glass pop out of here. Shattered glass. Cut me. You are something ridiculous.

You've given up on Tootsie Pop. You got caught by one. I just put him through to the next round over Twizzlers. You got, you have a vendetta against the pop. I just think they, let me tell you something. If anyone picks a Tootsie Pop over Twix, I don't even want to talk to you. I don't even want to talk to you. It depends.

If I'm on the run, I'm going to pop it. Yeah. All right. This is tough. A starburst against Sour Patch Water Melons. See now I'm going to predict. I feel like this is like the West. Yeah.

It's like the West is going to win it. Yeah. Probably. Sour Patch Melons. Yeah. Versus Starburst. Are so satisfying. They're so good.

So it's like, I can never have enough. Yeah. There's not different flavors, but the flavor is so perfect that you don't care that there's not, you know, some fucking, what's the word I'm looking for? Diversity. Thank you. But, and I will say the Sour Patch Watermelon also, you could suck on that melon.

It's thick. Yeah. And like thick. You can suck on the watermelon. And then when the, when the, when the sour goes away, it's still good. It's just nice and sweet. It's still good. It's still good.

Now you just have a beautiful piece of watermelon. You can put it in your lip right here. It's not like sticky. It's not just sticky. It doesn't stick to those teeth. Starburst though. A pink starburst. It's very good.

The other thing we left out is starburst has a beautiful mixing chemistry. If you mix a red and a pink, that's a party, dude. Yeah. You know, you mix a yellow and a pink. That's a party, dude. I said a pet. Yeah. Like a pet.

Damn, dude. We got to cut a lot of this out. Yeah. We're going to have to. But, um, why'd you say it's a pet? Oh, it's because it's pink and red. I should have went rank. She should print.

That's even worse. That's even worse. Have a seat right there. Why don't you take a seat? Why don't you take a seat? I'm going with sour patch melons. Join me. You know what?

Join me. I'm going to join you. Yes. I'm going to join you because I think they're really, I think they're really. They're top fucking notch. Yeah, they're really good. I also love their box. Like the packaging.

Skittles is like, I got to roll it up. You know, sour patch kids. Starburst. Uh, starburst. Yeah. You got to roll it up and like twist it to like make sure it all stays in there. I'll be honest with you. I mean, the only thing.

Snickers. Snickers. Starburst has a good return factor though, because you can eat half and don't have to worry that you open the package. Yeah. You know, you just come back. The thing that's trash about starburst is everything's individually wrapped. Yeah.

And sometimes you can't get it all the way off. Yeah. You get some paper. You get some paper. Like, I don't want to eat paper. Yeah. But I will. Yeah.

I've eaten so much paper. Most paper that I've probably eaten has come from starburst. Yeah. Amongst other things. Yeah. I used to eat some paper back in the day. I used to do that too. Yeah.

Like a really good essay. Yeah. I want it to be a part of me forever. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I used to rip off corners all the time. Yeah. And eat them.

Especially like the ones that would, like, remember when you would rip a piece of paper out of a notebook and it would have like those little scraggly things? Yeah. Yeah. I'd eat those. I've been joking this whole time. Oh, maybe. You're crushing paper.

Yeah, me too. Oh, you were joking. Mm-hmm. What's the next one? We have the final match up here. Now, this is team. The final countdown. It's going in here.

In the red corner. Two sticks. Chocolatey and brown. All right. Crimson caramel. We have sour patch watermelon versus the Twix. Now, let me ask you this. I already know my answer.

Personal guy. Go ahead. I know yours. Yours is going to be. I'm not going to tell you what it is. I have it in my head. Okay. So I won't reveal it, but I know it.

Okay. You say yours first. Do you want to say them at the same time? Yeah. Okay. Three, two, one, say it. Yeah. Okay.

Three, two, one. Twix. Oh, wow. You surprised me. No. Twix, baby. I thought you were more of a sweet guy. I do like sweet.

However. However. Too versatile. Okay. It's good when it's at its worst. Yes. I've never had a bad Twix in my life. Here's the thing.

Easier to eat too. It's handheld. Yeah. With this, I got to keep digging into a bad bag. And there's shit all in this bag. Yeah. I'm getting, I'm getting sugar everywhere. I'm getting these little like pellets of sugar everywhere.

Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. I got to do this. I got to do this. Swipey wipe. Yeah. And then it's good when it's frozen.

Yeah. So that adds another. Frozen Twix bar. Are you kidding? It's so good. And they're also a suckable candy as well. Sorry. Suckable.

When you suck the chocolate and the caramel off down to the nougat, and then you just, then you just finish it off with a little bit of nougat in there. Get a little crunch in there. Yeah. And then you suck that caramel off the nougat. Do you have a, like a way you eat a Twix? Yes, I do. How do you do it?

I bite the first piece. Okay. Okay. To open it up. Yeah. Just, I want to see the layers. I want to see inside you. Yeah.

You know. Go ahead. Yeah. Sorry. I'm getting emotional. I'm not going to bite you. But sometimes I'll just eat the top. Just the caramel.

I'll eat the caramel. Get the flavor and the suck of the caramel. And then insert the nougat after. See, here's what I like to do. Kind of similar. Okay. Okay. Because I like to bite the first bite too.

Because I want to see these layers. Yeah, yeah. I want to see the triple deck. I want to see it. Yeah, yeah. I want to make sure that it's got all the ingredients that I need to have. So the way I eat a Twix, right? I get that.

But first bite, I want to see every layer. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? It's just so good. Absolutely. And then I'll like suck the caramel off of it. Right. And once all the caramel is gone, I take the Twix and I eat it like a rabbit.

And I go... That. I was not expecting that. You eat it with two hands like a rabbit? I mean, it does have to be a two-handed thing. Are you going to do this thing? I just go... I swear to God, I do that.

Every time? Not every time. Okay, all right. That's acceptable. When you're going through your routine, you know? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. There are candy routines.

When there's an outside of pitch, you adjust your gloves. Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Take a step back. Take a practice swing. I do, though. I eat it like... Or sometimes I'll suck that nougat.

Yeah, suck a nougat. This is not bad. You suck it into oblivion because it just like somehow disappears. You're like, oh my God, I made this solid into a liquid somehow. Yeah, and it's fantastic. With my saliva. It's fantastic. Yeah.

It also has a cookie factor to it. Your face. It does. Your face when you said that. It does. It has a cookie factor to it. Why not? No, it does, man.

It's just more versatile. You know? Fuck with the Twix. Yeah. Listen, no love loss with Sour Patch. With Sour Patch. You know? But it's just like Twix is like, topped here.

Yeah, it's too good, bro. I would say it's the best candy of all time. Well, it has to be after this. I mean, you can have moods, right? Where you're like, you know what? I want something sweet. So you go for the sweet. Of course.

You want some sour. But in the grand scheme of things, a Twix is always good. Yeah. Like if I was forced to eat a Sour Patch, what am I? When I wasn't in the mood for that? I wouldn't love it. I wouldn't love it as much. You know, I probably wouldn't even finish the pack, which is insanity.

Right. With the Twix though, I mean, I'm here. I'm here for it. So fucking true. You have caramel. You have that sweetness. You have the chocolate. And then you have a hard, crunchy thing.

You're right. God damn it. God damn it. That's why Twix wins. All right. And I would just like to say this now and like to address the people out there. Yes. If you don't like a Twix, fuck you.

Yeah. I think that's 100% valid. Fuck anyone who doesn't like a Twix. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Fuck you, man. Also, not a big fan of the single ones though. No, no, no, please.

Don't mess with something great. Just let it come out. Double cake. If it isn't broke, don't fucking package one of them by themselves. I agree. I agree. They're a dependent candy. Yeah.

And I like the snap factor too. Snap it in half. Share it. You could share that. Oh, yeah. You know, sharing Sour Patch, I'm not going to be pretty willing to share it. The only thing I would give it, it doesn't melt in your hands. Sour Patch.

Yeah. But come on. I love to suck these fangies. Yeah. I'll suck chocolate right off these fingers. Yeah. Munch. Okay.

Anyway, I think that's it. That's all we have here. Yeah. I'm exhausted. Yeah. I'm really tired to be honest with you. I don't know why. I'm so excited.

We did. We did. Some things were said, you know, in the heat of the moment, there's passion all over the place. But you know, I'd like to shake your hand. Yeah. You know, I think what you said, you had valid points. And I think this debate is going to push, possibly even propel this country into the

next generation. Yeah. It could happen. Yeah. I worry about us sometimes. Yeah. Me too. I do.

I do a lot. I really worry about us. Yeah. Mostly at night. Yeah. What's going to happen? What is going to happen when they let us in? What is going to happen?

Can't wait. They better let us in. They better. Let me in. Let us in. Let us in. Let me in. All right.

Well, that is all. Danny. Danny, low priority on Instagram and Twitter plug. You guys can follow me on social media at Joe Sandicato and go support the show by heading to patreon.com slash the basement yard. You get every episode a week early. Why wouldn't you get an extra episode that is only available to patrons? Why wouldn't you at this point?

And you also get some bonus Q&A content between me and Danny. Why wouldn't you at this point? It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. And go follow the basement yard at the basement yard on Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time. Okay.

See you later.