The Basement Yard - #201 - Making The World A Better Place

Episode Date: August 5, 2019

On this episode, Joe & Danny talk about ways to make the world a better place... kinda. They also dive into food fights & animals. That sounded weird. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

welcome back to the basement yard whoa whoa dude took over intro duties and my bad it's your show I didn't I didn't I always wanted to try it yeah do it get into the intro now I'm now nervous don't be nervous don't be nervous just talking to your fucking mic I'm sorry I'm sorry I got nervous and pulled away I got a little nerve angle your mic up you dumb ass here it is here it is I've never been the you're a fidgety bitch you know that welcome back to the basement yard me and Joe here you always do that little pause yeah how's everything going yeah everything's going good Dan here's why I was waiting for that here's why

that felt so weird what like doing an intro yeah like you do it you do it you want me to do another intro yeah like how you do it welcome back to the basement yeah yeah but for real don't give me that half ass shit sorry Spielberg let me see it I need all of it do it more welcome back to the basement yard how's it going Danny see that's that's harder than people think no it's not yeah it's not it's not we're nuts but how have you been good well not great actually the telephone poles keep exploding outside of my apartment that's all that footage has been fantastic oh yeah the people that have seen that on my Instagram it's been

super hot in New York City and I guess the transformers can't handle that because there's a telephone pole real literally outside my office window and it fucking exploded like a couple days ago and then like two nights ago I was walking to the bathroom and I thought kids were setting off fireworks in the street and it was just one of the power lines just sparking and it fell and it was fucking going crazy and I saw the whole sidewalk and the other thing is like all fried out whatever that's called what is that called the thing where the little man's there and then a hand oh like the the signals for the

crosswalk or whatever yeah that's burnt it burnt because it was all it was on fire dude and you were saying that they parked all the way up here and they had to like let it just die out because I think they have to wait until they cut the power if you stood under that would you have died under what like what was falling on the ground because even hit the ground that immediately go out yeah no I mean you wouldn't have died why would you die is it like fireworks like how like Goldberg used to stand in fireworks you know like would it be like that I don't know I never understood how he did that Goldberg's a wrestler from

when we were kids yeah and he would walk out and he would stand in his fireworks and then he would breathe in the smoke from them and blow it out of his nose yeah and he beat the shit out of everybody yeah and he killed everyone yeah I mean I don't know I what because you can't put water on an electrical fire no you're supposed to put like foam on it I'm serious who has foam laying around well the fireman oh I thought you meant like you had like we're gonna go in there and like make a shit get my shampoo and make foam so fucking like water balloons of foam at it no it's like I'm pretty sure that's what you're supposed to do

is like shoot foam on it okay because water is a conductor yeah so just make it fucking worse but they stood here in the street and they were shooting like water at it so they were doing the wrong thing no no no I think it is but that was after they like waited oh but it was sparkly well a day before that it was all smoking from there smoking I don't know picking a blanket no but it's been all fucked up all the things and I didn't lose any power which is kind of crazy and my car was parked under the first pole that like exploded so after they fixed that I parked my car under it that just I don't know why and then this

started happening and then I was freaking out like every hour I'd wake up and look at my windows like my car still there because I don't know if this is gonna explode again yeah it's not fun that's not fun no it's not great you know what else is not fun there was a fun there was a funny story that I saw in like TMZ of this rapper young dro remember young dro yes from he had a shoulder lean I guess a shoulder lane he didn't have a missy about the right that was a good song yeah but young dro got arrested for throwing banana pudding at his girlfriend or something good is throwing banana pudding a crime I guess

it's a salt with a edible weapon it's that assault yeah of course I think if you if you throw anything at anyone it's a salt it's just funny that it's spitting at someone is an assault yes it's it's it's yeah it's considered a solid why I don't know because you can't just go spitting let me tell you that I rather someone throw banana pudding at me than throw their spin oh banana pudding is delicious that's probably why it was a crime because I was like how dare you waste this banana pudding yeah banana pudding is great when they have that wafer in it and imagine calling the police because someone threw a banana

pudding at you like that 911 call I don't know if she'd like call me very strange it'd be very strange like to be like hey so you need to get over here right now my boyfriend just through banana pudding I'm covered in beige goodness and I fear for my life yeah what color is banana maybe she was allergic to banana pudding no no can you be allergic to bananas it could be allergic to anything I think I don't think there's rules on that you know what I hate when the doctor asks you if you're allergic to any medications it's like I don't I don't know you would know you've taken medication yeah but if you

hate when they asked that but it's like I didn't know that you could be allergic to medicine of course I thought people can't take amoxicillin people are allergic to latex can't use condoms that I know they're raw dog but that's like an actual like physical thing I guess so is a medicine yeah I guess the coating probably or just or whatever dude amoxicillin people can't take that and that cures like everything that's trash imagine having a latex do you have any known allergies cats and that's it yeah and one time when I when I fucked up my leg and I went to the emergency room the lady there was like do you have any

like allergies that I should know about yeah and I was joking around I was like cats didn't laugh like I thought I'd get a giggle because obviously she's not asking me about those type of allergies she's asking me about medication okay I was like cats nothing not even a giggle no I hate when you make jokes at like things like that and they don't laugh yeah I'm like listen your likes not fucked up mine's fucked up I'm making a joke laugh simply sympathy laugh for me you know I'm saying I remember one time I was in the emergency room and I hurt my my knee or my elbow something something at the gym and I remember I was there

with Alana and I was like yeah I got the old ball and chain with me like joking and the doctor just like didn't laugh and neither did Alana and she actually got very upset she was like I can't believe you referred to me as that as such but um can I can I'm gonna read the statement of a young drill oh he made a statement well no this is just what TMZ says oh all right so law enforcements tell TMZ young drill was arrested on July 5th for allegedly throwing a plate a plate wait who puts pudding on plates arrest that man yeah that's terrible now I see why and also how do you throw a plate like

dynamically it doesn't work yeah what is this like you're a clown in a circus you're throwing a pie yeah who puts banana pudding on plates I would beat the shit out of a clown if you pied me at it thing oh my god dude I'd wreck that fucking clown do you know how quickly I could beat up a clown easily without question first of all your shoes way too big you I'm more like agile yeah you can't fight dress as a clown it's not gonna work no way unless you got that water squirting like flower pin do those do they still have that as they're like like an 80s thing like quack quack and the one that like shoots out water yeah

fucking clown face bitch yeah we're told the two have been arguing over money but things got heated and the food started flying with both sides both sides launching whatever delicious items they could find at each other so they got arrested for food fight nice kind of sexual a food fight yeah I'm fuck like I'm fuck on top of all that food after that most I said we had a food fight like like middle school yeah I didn't even do it in high school no high school is to have a fucking food fight food fights are kind of dope but I love how there's always like a fat kid and there's like that has to yell food fight to make it

official yeah he has to and he's got like a sandwich in his hand it's not official to a fat kid on another table that didn't even start it yells food fight yeah he's got to climb up there real slow though because he's a big boy oh yeah he goes food fight and then someone just absolutely demolishes him with apple sauce because he wants it the most because yeah like seven or eight lunches now yeah yeah he's got to catch him right yeah which is tough to do man during a food fight there's a lot of condiments being thrown a lot of ketchup oh yeah a lot of stains yeah it gets ugly a lot of stains cops were called to the scene

and despite the fact his girlfriend made it clear she didn't want to press charges they arrested him anyway hmm could be a no yeah but it's an assault I guess he's now facing two counts of misdemeanor battery and family violence I didn't know family violence was crime well I mean violence against your family seems like yeah but I've never heard that like term yeah your charge with family violence listen both both my parents be fucking a lot of family violence back then hell yeah put him under the jail yeah he's still in jail too according to law enforcement

because he's being held on child support contempt as well he owes $41,000 in back child support needs tent needs to pay 10k to be released from custody you can't get somebody to pay 10k to get him out of there young drill I don't really know about young drills financials I just know that one song from like 2004 shoulder lean yeah from leaning your shoulders throne pudding yeah what are you gonna do the food fights were pretty fun like a real one like some of them would be little ones but when they would erupt in the fat kid would would sing yeah that's I don't know if he sang food fight it wasn't like an opera singer

haha food fight it was one of those rectangle pizzas he's in like a fucking perfectly like pressed tuxedo too he emerges like out of a hole in the floor fantastic dude I would love to have a food fight you think you should be a red like for throwing food yeah I mean if I get if I get thrown at a stranger listen I should be able to peg people food in my own home that's what I'm saying the privacy of your own home you should be able to peg each other unless there's some family violence but if it's just a like a pudding violence I'm okay with pudding violence yeah pudding related grievance maybe yeah like a

warning warning you know I'm saying like hey guys keep it down getting some calls about some pudding flying around yeah like if it's keep some of the pudding had you know gotten through the cracks in the walls and gotten into the neighbor's living room all right call the cops because now you're hurting on the people's property yeah but if it's staying within the confines of your kitchen and or living room yeah throw that pudding putting it up yeah I mean up if I'm you ever get that when your eyes just twitching for no reason what the fuck just happening you my eyes twitching you ever have that where your

eyelid just twitches yeah I mean that's called a twitch yeah but why is that happening I don't know you ask like a Greek person will say like oh it means that someone's thinking of you or something I get shit like that's right again they always have some tall tail dude I hate when people have stuff like that like you ever like go to sneeze and someone just has all these random like recipes oh yeah oh stare at the light and say watermelon I'm like I'm not gonna do this stick your tongue on the roof of your mouth what's that one for brain freeze when people are like yo when a bird shits on you it's good luck I was

like nah a bird shit or a bird shit on me that's that's that's all that happened bird shit so weird what bird like actual bird shit it's weird like what it's just like aaste no no it's just like how it's like white but like also like green and like has like a little like little nugget it does you know what I'm saying it's it's like an egg it is like an egg but it's got a brown it's got a brown yolk it's got a brown yo but what's all that white I don't know why do they have white shit I don't know it's very strange also doesn't dog shit just like eventually turn white yeah but those are like phantom shits you

don't see those all the time those are rare doesn't like rare Pokemon but I also think used to see those shits more back in the day like I feel like that was like in the 90s dogs were shitting white and now they're like shitting regular color yeah their shit has evolved a little bit why is that I don't know I think the diet and it's kind of weird that yeah that too could be it's it's weird that dogs shit no it's not yes it is because you it's weird because their shit looks like our shit mm-hmm like a pigeon shit doesn't look like our shit yeah you know a squirrel like a deer shit I've never seen a squirrel shit you

ever seen a deer shit they look like little chocolate chips chips you never seen it no they look like poops they're little pellets yeah yeah look like chocolate chips yeah oh shit oh would you say chocolate chicks when you said chocolate chips I was thinking like potato chips oh no no no no I was like what the fuck chocolate chips a deer yeah yeah chocolate chips yeah yeah they're like yeah why do they shit like that that's a big animal shit fucking hard you ever see elephants shit like when they shit they like wag their tail and they sprayed everywhere I know that doesn't seem and why do monkeys throw their

shit I mean they're assholes they're monkeys they're wild you think they just do that cuz they're bored I don't know man I'd be pretty entertained if I could swing from trees and like do all that cool stuff I also don't like why would I shit in my hand but they do that I know but they're not worried about like getting a sore throat or something can monkeys get sore throats yeah they get strep yeah or is that like a human thing I don't know they're they're pretty much us yeah but I've never listen if you shit in your hand and you're throwing it we've seen many a monkey yeah pick up shit and throw it at you know you're

telling me they're not going over and washing their hands with Purell no that they're taking dirty shit yeah and then they're walking around there's poop there's a whole world is poop nest it's just a big poop yeah and if you eat with those hands how could you not get some sort of like infection here but we probably eat with poopy hands all the time I probably have more poop on our hands we live in New York City dude there's poop everywhere but I wash these mitts yeah I do too but come on poop's gonna get there if it wants to yeah but not like you know eventually you shower every day you wash your hands I get is

why I don't do that yeah they don't do a good job of getting most poop off yeah and they like eat lice off of each other's heads what is that I don't know and they can like you sticks it he's like chopsticks yeah and they jerk it yeah I went to the zoo one time and a monkey was beaten off yeah they fucking jerk hard yeah they'll shoot they'll shoot a rope on you oh they can ejaculate like yeah they could shoot ropes I didn't know that that's why you can't you gotta be careful you've seen a monkey I've seen a monkey come yeah where at the zoo came on you didn't come on me I wish you wish I mean I wish I got to see it come on

somebody not me okay I thought there was some monkey fantasy here that you were wishing you were getting hit you were the bullseye those days are over oh there was a time in your life where that would have been something that excited you what do you think what animal do you think would be the best like we're gonna skip over that or like I just want to make sure not not sexual partner I'll come back to it but I don't want anything to come on me wait you're asking what animal I want to fuck cuz no no no not animal you would want to fuck what animal you think is like the best lover oh who's good at like like companion just fucking

or like good like to love both just like a like the best companion like like you would want this like to be like that's like that's my girl right there like holding down like a great companion I don't know I like I like watching otters swim together otters are cool they stay like saying they do the backstroke and she like they hold the babies and flow that's that's cool that'd be a good companion yeah yeah they hug a lot yeah I'm afraid horses maybe horses dicks are just you know not cool yeah like I wouldn't want to get if I was a horse I wouldn't want to get fucked by a horse you know what I didn't know that all

race horse I had to skip over that what race horses what no no no I heard all race horses are men male horses I don't know that's a rich old white guy sport that I don't really know anything yeah I don't know I don't know if they're all male or not I don't know I don't know if I want to date a horse though yeah I wouldn't it's like if the smallest thing goes if the smallest thing happens to you they have to like kill you yeah you like break your knee cap and they're like well just kill it just kill it yeah I'd rather be with an animal that I know could get hurt a little bit you know but I still like protect me tear

me up tear you up you know yeah like you know I don't want to be like you ever see those gorillas fuck yeah I would never one that's on top she destroys that cock dude oh they've ride look that up right now wait I thought I thought never seen the video of the gorilla fucking the shit out of the other girl where would I see this on the internet dude no the only I thought that the whole animal kingdom was like just doggy style dude these monkeys fuck she's riding the shit out of this fucking gorilla cock yeah I never knew that I didn't know that could happen she got a fucking fatty on her too like she's riding that

thing okay we don't know how old this monkey is that's really that's true that's how old can gorillas live to be I'm gonna look that up to just to be safe yeah yeah yeah that's a good question real is having sex I believe they were gorillas I mean they have to be you can't really confuse a gorilla it's not just gonna be on YouTube yeah it is I've heard just like oh my god dude I gotta see her destroy that yeah dude damn dude she is riding that dick yo yo you've never seen that video no man she's destroying that you know she's spelling coconut we got to talk about that too this gorilla is taking it banging this dude hell

yeah I would come in two seconds that if a human did that to me not a gorilla I probably come out of fear for gorilla did that to me I've never come out of fear in my life you're not doing it right why am I getting scared bad oh my god oh my god but yeah that that that I've never seen that video that is out of control isn't that insane yeah that was the most that was wild she was really getting after it I honestly I felt bad for the guy that's what I'm saying it looked painful you know what I'm saying damn she was she was getting hers for sure yeah for sure yeah wasn't there like another video you want to show me or something before we

start oh Peppa Pig oh Peppa Pig yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so there's like a famous video of Peppa Pig which by the way I don't really know anything about Peppa Pig I don't either it's like a cartoon I think yeah it's a it's a pig that looks like a cock yeah like an uncircumcised soft penis that's what Peppa Pig looks like I can confirm I mean a little more pink than a little more pink than mine for sure mine's more from like a South American region somewhere with Sun somewhere it's a lot of Sun yeah all right so this is a famous video of Peppa Pig who wants to learn how to whistle wait is this the right video yes

are you sure yes okay this thing is a penis it's one minute long so it's not I can't whistle but everybody else can never mind said can't can't and didn't see her I'm making cookies would you like to lick the spoon no thank you mommy can I ring Susie sheep instead okay Peppa hello Mrs. Pig hello Mrs. Sheep can Peppa talk to Susie please what hello Susie hello Peppa what are you doing I'm learning to whistle but I can't do it yet hmm that sounds hard it's impossible can you whistle Susie no oh good I mean that's sad if you can't whistle it sure sucks good because I can't whistle what's whistling anyway you put your lips together and blow

this fucking bang that on her what'd you do the fuck was that what are you playing the soundtrack on this thing wait what the hell was that she just bangs it on her because she gets jealous that she can whistle so she just hangs up yeah what is that show I think kids shows where animals do human stuff is weird but that's not an animal dude that's not a pig that's a cock oh did you also see what Peppa Pig's height is height yeah so three foot two no well it's not even close actually I don't know who made this official but Peppa Pig's height is seven foot one seven foot one yes what fucking pig is seven foot one I have no idea you ever see pigs yeah they're kind of like old men ball sacks yeah see Peppa Pig height seven foot one yeah it's a little too high that's a little too high for a pig way too

high but like how tall is a bear tall as shit because like if they stand upright you did get off the phone this gets me on the phone the whole episode I just want to see how tall a bear is the bear's height you like that video those grills having sex you were happy you saw that yeah that was cool I just want to know how tall a bear is he wants to know other stuff too he needs all the answers now we're a factual show get ahead how tall how tall is a bear whoa okay so a giant panda can be two to three feet tall that's it a polar bear could be five point nine the seven point nine feet a polar bear could be eight feet tall yeah man they're fucking huge and a brown bear could be five feet tall I thought brown bears would be taller I thought so too but they're fucking

scary I actually saw a video on Twitter of this girl she's like filming outside of her deck door or whatever and there's a bear like coming down the driveway sounds like dick no she'd not have a dick door but she the bear comes onto the the deck yeah and she just has a glass well it's the front door actually and it's just like the glass door and then your regular door yeah and I'm in my head I'm like shut this fucking door you idiot but the bear I was gonna say the dog the bear walks by and then there's a window open and but it's not it's like open this much hmm so the bear like sticks its head through oh like that weird like tongue thing they do no no they stick he sticks like his snout through what was that that's kind of like what a bear sounds like oh and he like bit

the blinds ooh and she's going gent Margaret Margaret Margaret and then the bear like moves the thing with his head and climbs into the house oh my god and they had to book it out the back door dude if a bear is coming down the driveway lock the fuck down have you ever seen that bear eat that deer in that guy's backyard bear eat a deer yo I can only imagine the sounds that this deer is making sexual or like crunching the bones very weird animal back to their poop and the voices they make very ugly sounding things yeah so the bear if people haven't seen it a bear I've seen a a deer get eaten though I'm like discovery channel a bear is in these people's backyard that cat it catches a deer in someone's backyard yeah and it's fucking it up and the guy's just

filming it and he's like oh fuck because like every time when it's like is what are you gonna do because what are you gonna do yeah so go there and fight the bear so you hear like its bones crunch oh and then it just goes wow and the guy filming just goes fuck what are you gonna do break a bear up like you know yeah break that fight up no you can't do not let nature take its course no I know that's why I always feel bad when you're like you always feel bad when you watch discovery channel because you're like oh man these eight cheetahs are chasing this giraffe but then the giraffe gets away and you're like all right cool but then like the baby cheetah dies you're like fuck man wish they kill that giraffe like you're not you're never happy at least throw

a rock at it something like scare it off but another thing that's weird too I saw alligator eat a turtle I saw that too and it is insane it literally goes yeah and just snaps the shell that turtle was probably like yeah good luck with this one you idiot and then just fucking crush the shell crazy because you see the alligator with the turtle in its mouth just like sitting you see like the little turtle legs hanging out the side yeah and he's like all right whenever I decide to eat you I'm gonna do it and then just blood goes everywhere yeah dude I'm going to Florida in a couple months too like stay away from the alligators yeah man the place that we're staying at has a like a has a pool in the backyard but one of those cages over it oh yeah so alligators because

jumping your fucking probably dude you know how many times you know I mean I think it's mandatory to have I'm gonna say how many times I feel like almost gotten eaten by an alligator no but think about how many times that's almost happened to people where they don't even think about it and they just jump into their pool in the backyard and there's a fucking alligator at the bottom yeah I never thought about that that's probably fucking probably happens a lot more than we think that's probably why they it's like mandatory to have those cages yeah it's like oh we're gonna write you up you don't have an alligator cage yeah because these motherfuckers are out here sitting in the bottom of your pool waiting for your dumb ass to jump in with your fucking polo bathing suit you ever see

like a remember when like frogs would get in a pool love frogs and like you'd like try to catch them yeah they're so hard to catch yeah you know you used to catch all the time salamanders yeah they they walk like fucking idiots dude I love salamanders they're so dumb what do they turn into it's like a new tadpole salamander charizard butterfly I don't know but they like turn iguana chameleon yo chameleons are crazy yeah you animals are fucking sick some of them it's like yo if I lay here long enough I'll become it I will be the color that's crazy oh what the fuck imagine if humans could do that if I could just fade into the back if you laid on your couch long enough you became gray blue just looks like the couch that'd be insane there's there's something that

can do that oh well it shows me like yo it's things are limitless like nothing would shock me anymore or like there's there's a like certain octopus that can turn into the zoo the same thing they can turn is like the floor of the the ocean oh I thought you were saying because you put two hands out you're like yo there's an octopus that could become like two octopuses I was like I think it's just two octopuses two octopuses they have like eight hearts or something too really yeah that'd be a tough final boss in a video game I'll tell you that yeah you have to pause the game go get some water I got five hearts in this thing won't fucking die but it's crazy like we talked about that fish that angler fish with the little thing I think a chameleon's a crazier animal come on come on come on

come on come on come on chameleon can't stop the shining no yeah they're wild and when they got the tongue and they grabbed shit I love frogs doing that that's insane I love that that's my favorite thing probably in the animal kingdom and it's weird how there's a venus fly trap that there's a plant that eats bugs wild I think I had one in my house growing up no probably not no but I like to think it was you know it's weird though you know it's weird yeah praying mantises are they poisonous no because we saw what you're thinking is you're not supposed to kill them I think they're endangered well this this was like wait when I was like young like I was like six seven Keith was like a bug extraordinary dude like doesn't surprise me we have pictures of me and him

laying in the front yard like in the dirt and like playing with like worms and bugs and like just whatever it's weird how like more courageous you are as a kid yeah we just weren't we're like oh yo it's a fucking yeah a raccoon I'm gonna go pet it like roly roly polies roly polies used to always just be like now if I touch funny like yeah what's that bug that's like a you press it and jumps in the air what the fuck there's a bug that you press yes like a button I'm sorry I'm sorry but but there's a bug that you press a cricket no I would love to know what you're even typing bug push down pop up there's a bug someone in will know it in the comments because people are are

yeah they know everything and they have the power of google at the time when they listen but there's a bug that you could press down and it pops up yeah like that game of trouble yes that's what it's like yeah I was wondering how they built that it's not hard see do it no but um like a chameleon what was your favorite animal growing up um my favorite animal growing up was what it was a bird I can't remember what kind of bird it was though no no no no but it was like a like a falcon it was like a famous falcon yeah I can't remember what it was though I can't remember the name but I remember it was like a famous falcon my favorite animal now is an elephant Michael Vic worked on yeah famous falcons algae crumpler

algae whoa haven't heard that name no one's gonna know who algae crumpler is algae crumpler is a man yeah he was a man but uh yeah I know it was some kind of a bird it wasn't a bald eagle but it was a falcon of some we had mad shit in our house at one point like we had animals yeah remember I told you we had birds and we had lizards and shit yeah yeah we didn't have an iguana but Keith had this thing it was like a I don't know it looked like one of those lizards and fucking holes like at the end of like all over the fucking treasure chest or whatever a bearded dragon yes uh it's not a it was a bearded something it's a bearded dragon bearded barley no my niece my niece had a bearded dragon named mr gibbons and yeah who's dead now rest in peace mr gibbs of the dragon

yeah yeah the bearded dragon is dead uh but we had this like pirate ship thing I don't know if I told you this last time we had a pirate ship uh like toy okay and we would put like a bunch of army men on it like gi jose okay and then we put like the lizards on it just I'm digging this just to wreak havoc to be like oh my god giant lizards yeah yeah those those lizards had no idea what they were a part of no so here's what happened right and this is like something that happens with these things and it was fucking scary because we all cried but um so we had this ship and we had a bunch of army men on it and then we put the lizard on it okay and obviously the lizards over there like you know being a lizard like all right knocking this guy out but then we start you know we got to fight back

we're the gi joe so we're you know we're shooting bullets at this thing we're not actually you know we're shooting bullets yeah but we're like we're like oh you know he's gonna he's gonna and then all of a sudden this thing detaches from its tail and its tail just starts whipping whoa and it just starts whipping all the things everywhere they shed their tails when they get scared yeah it's like a defense mechanism because people try to bite that so they release it and get out so he released his tail and then the tail started whipping shit all over the place and then me and Keith are like oh fuck we cut the thing in half because we don't know what's happening yeah you guys probably freaked out dude we were freaking but it's honestly i'm i'm not entirely sure about what are you looking at

there's a guy outside who's dressed very he just dressed kind of weird no i don't know he looks like the guy in the welch's grape commercial you know the guy when they're standing out in the in the field of grapes and he's like look at these welch's grapes yeah he does i couldn't stop looking at her i'm sorry oh my god it's exactly what it looks like i love it oh that's exactly what it looks like i'm sorry but the tail was wagon you guys thought yes we thought we killed it i honestly don't know if keith was scared because he might have just known off the bat like uh he's playing defense right now you know but it was scary dude i thought i killed this fucking thing but then it just didn't have a tail if i had to grow it back that's another

crazy thing too that reptiles could do they could regenerate just growth yeah like wolverine octopus do that you know what's weird about humans is that i thought i had to burp louder that's why i don't want to burp into the mic is that how nails regenerate why because it's like hair regenerates yeah like we have some regenerative facts like your liver can regenerate yeah yeah like parts of it can regenerate it's just weird that if like we cut our finger off though that won't regenerate yeah it'll just become a nub it just becomes a nub like we got some cool shit we could do

yeah but they have all the coolest stuff they have all the amazing things like all their limbs like they'll just be like oh lost my arm i'll get it back in like a month and like how do alligators can hold their breath for so long yeah forever i think yeah are they even like polar bears can't they hold their breath for mad long too you're asking the wrong girl that's true that's true keith knows all this shit does he he was super into animals he's just like a plethora of like unknown animal facts yeah like he all we did like our favorite thing to watch was uh animal planet like discovery channel discovery channel was so much better as a kid like every night was planet earth basically like that show everyone watches on netflix like it was like that every

night planet earth's fantastic yeah like that's some of the greatest television i've watched especially if you have a good tv yeah i don't feel like you're high even if you're not that's what i'm saying like it would be a great show i've never done this but i can only imagine that show is incredible when you're high oh when i was a kid i used to smoke a lot of pot and watch the first fucking planet earth yeah like that was the thing like my friends would do and i used to not smoke weed that much but my friends be like yeah you have to blaze and watch planet earth yeah and once you see like a fucking butterfly born like high it's never the same it's unreal i don't it's crazy with the animals are okay pull up all right good all right it's crazy oh but what was your

favorite animal before you get into that grown up i like clipper the big red dog too a lot of not a real animal i'm gonna get back to you on that all right the first ad we have for today is for stamps dot com stamps dot com brings all the amazing services of the u.s post office right to your computer whether you're a small office sending invoices or an online ship uh seller shipping out products which is what i used to use it for when i was doing a merch business and i was shipping everything myself i would use stamps dot com because it's just so easy you can do it from your computer 24 7 access to it you don't have to go wait in lines or anything and uh you save time and money okay because with stamps dot com you get five cents off every first class stamp and up to 40

percent off priority mail not to mention it's a fraction of the cost of those expensive postage meters um and right now our listeners can get a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a digital scale without any long-term commitment just go to stamps dot com click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in basement that is stamps dot com and enter basement okay stamps dot com people if you're shipping anything definitely get on that and use that get the code get the code um next we have postmates uh postmates is basically your personal food delivery grocery delivery whatever kind of delivery service all year round if you don't know postmates you must be living under a rock it's a very popular thing um but it's an app

you download it whatever you want you're craving like ice cream or benning we almost used the other day we're like yeah we're gonna get some some benningers in here oh man oh i gotta bone the fucking pick with you by the way god damn it oh i know what you're gonna say i know what you're gonna say um but no more chips in the store you don't even have to know where the store is postmates has the app you type in what you want and then someone brings it to you uh and it's just great within the hour by the way um for a limited time postmates is giving our listeners 100 dollars of free delivery credit for your first seven days to start your free deliveries download the app and use the code basement that's code basement uh for 100 dollars of free delivery

credit for your first seven days when you download the postmates app anytime you need anything whatever just download postmates again the code is basement and lastly we have uh no bull which is a footwear apparel and accessory brand for people who train hard and don't believe in excuses and don't let the simple design fool you no bulls gear is gear is built to perform i have two pairs of sneakers that i used to train with no bull one is like this bright red pair fire okay and they're they're very well made um but it's got multi-environment uh design built for wherever your workout takes you there's trainers runners and there's also apparel the the shirt that i have very breathable i like it doesn't stick to you when you sweat i mean i get in there and i get

after i sweat you know what i'm saying you're a sweaty boy i'm a sweaty boy um so they have some of the most uh comfortable apparel for the most uncomfortable training okay and like i said you know i i've said this previously when we did a noble sponsorship but one of the things that i think is inspiring and motivating in a way is when you buy new stuff so you could start working out so when you decide like yo i'm i'm gonna start working out you need to buy new stuff look good feel good train good yeah so when you get new new gear to work out and you're like all right i'm gonna go now you know start out try try no bull so for simple durable and functional training gear visit noble project dot com slash basement again that is noble project dot com slash basement um

spelled n o b u l l p r o j e c t dot com slash basement all right there you go go get your training gear peeps all right proceed with yelling at me okay so me joe hung out was it friday night friday night and i just just just just got paid money money money that was a great song i was that insane yeah no strings attached no strings attached oh my god that music video i know that i can't take no more it ain't no lie scan scan there's always something like there like a like a big like power cord but yeah scan so friday night we went out to dinner we hung out just being friends um and we decided hey it's a really hot night oh and was it it was terrible it was like 112 degrees felt they said it felt like outside yeah so we were like oh man let's go and

get ben and jerry's you couldn't find any ben and jerry's then we were like you know what there's a pink barrier around daniel must uh walk like crushed a door oh yeah yeah yeah and i walked full speed into a glass door yeah i forgot about that um i walked right into a glass door it was great uh so we get back to my apartment we're like yo let's order some frozen yogurt fucking sucked by the way it was really bad it sucks sorry pink berry but it sucked yeah which i've had great experiences with them i've had fantastic but this wasn't good it wasn't good i think it was too hot to get it delivered because it was just fucking like mush kind of yeah i didn't like it yeah i ate a whole tub of fish food by the way the other day we'll get into that but um oh dude not

actual fish food fish the band ben and jerry's i was like why are you eating fish food are you that hungry like what's going on so yeah we're hanging out joe i could tell doesn't like it because immediately he's like i don't like it so i'm like whatever you could tell i figured it out he doesn't like it so he leaves i go to bed i wake up the next day and i go into my kitchen and i'm like uh kind of smells like like old milk in here this kid left the yogurt in its cup in my sink no water nothing just left it there out overnight in my 112 degree fucking kitchen it smelled like an old man's asshole when i walked in there oh why did you do that all right are you one of those people that like doesn't throw like like empty shit no this guy just walked into

my kid goes i don't want this walked into my kitchen just left it in my sink and was like you know what daniel take care of that no that's not how it went that's what happened it was a full thing you took two bites of yogurt i took a few bites it was mostly fucking chocolate chip soggy shit in there chocolate chips what else did you put in there those were m&ms m&ms whatever they were gross yo it's stunk uh yeah listen i'll be honest with you right so i did that because i walked in there i was like i really don't want this but i didn't know what to do with it because i didn't want to put it in your trash freeze it that's that's what i thought you did no but i wasn't gonna i wasn't gonna eat it and neither were you yeah so i was like i didn't want to put this in your trash

because the same thing would have happened yeah so i don't know why but i was like you know what and i'm not gonna pour it down your drain because i felt like where else would you put it i don't know it's frozen yogurt just run some water i hate when you have to run water on stuff and breaks in the little pieces yeah but eventually it'll go down there was like a bunch of toppings in there so i was like oh i don't want to do that because there'll be a bunch of shit in his sink and you don't want to clean the drain so i just put i put it in your in your sink but i remember when i walked away from it i was like i got to get that before i leave because that's not like whatever i'll just like let it melt and then pour it down and like hold it yeah so that i don't get

like the shit in your yeah of course and i just didn't do it and i forgot about it so i just left a fucking medium-sized old hot yogurt in my fucking sink oh god that is too funny and i don't know why i didn't text you to begin with but i was like you know what i'm gonna bring this up on this motherfucker oh man that is so funny dude we were so hot like the way we were sweating was unbelievable yeah that was insane that was some of the craziest heat that was like see vegas isn't even that bad because i go to vegas and it'll be like 108 degrees but it's not that bad because it's dry yeah but when it's humid as hell and it's 90 something on top of that i'm just like i don't know how like people like like live in orlando yeah or like training that like that

type of shit yeah you know what i mean like go like i saw people running i was like what's wrong with you people you don't like that guy uh david goggins yes that guy is insane he's a savage but like he'll like me he's like i'm out here because you're a fucking piece of shit i'm like all right thanks dav i'm out here because no one wants to be out here so i'm gonna be out here yeah and sometimes you gotta like be uncomfortable with yours i'm like well man actually it's a very good david goggins thank you that guy i'm not afraid of shit so there's a post on his instagram he doesn't have a whole lot of posts so you can find it but i mean it's usually him running sideways yelling at someone yeah the fuck you i could do this if i want i used to be 400 pounds now i'm

five pounds it's like yo you're ripped up yeah but like you're angry all the time yeah dude i mean it's just a mentality that takes over and then you become a different person which i'm never going to be that but no way that guy though he put up a post that i was like whoa like when you read it it gets you amped i've read it multiple times like i have it saved on my instagram so i can go back and like read it but he talks about hell week because he was a navy seal oh yeah i've seen that post dude he talks about so he was a navy seal and hell week for people who don't know i believe there's like an 80 percent quit right that yeah like 80 quit and the remaining 20 like not all of them make it make it because you still have to like pass a certain yeah and and that is

just absurd and you like sitting water like on the ocean for hours and just and it's freezing you lay there on the ground like this with your arms with like your whatever your bros and the waves just come and they crash over you for hours hours hours hours and it's freezing i'm good yeah it's wild and you and you exercise like crazy and i i believe during hell week you run like with a log for like four days yeah but something ridiculous it's like i think i think it's i believe it's like seven or eight days and then and then but you run like 10 miles a day yeah if anyone that's listening has been through hell week can you please like dm us and tell us like what your hell week was like and also don't fight me yeah yeah and also don't take it out on me

yeah but he put up this post where it was just like because i think that was hell week for people who are trained to be navy seals or whatever so he put up the post and he was like your hell week is coming and like blah blah blah what are you gonna do when your body is broken that's something he loves to say by the way your body is broken my body is all right it's not great it's not broken but it's just it's just like a very crazy way to think that after putting your body through something like that it probably feels like my entire body is broken it is like what are you doing your body's broken and your teammates are quitting on you and you're freezing and like whatever or whatever he's like i don't know what the fuck you're gonna do but what i do is i look

up to the sky and i ask for it to get worse and i'm like holy shit dude that dude is a gangster yeah he's he's got that hell i'm back he was talking about running there in the heat wave and he was like i'm out here running god drove by me he looked at me turned around came back asked me a question he goes what the fuck are you doing out here he goes i'm out here because you're not out here yeah and i was like one this story is made up then i said two that's fucking insane yeah man the only reason you're running is because other people aren't running yeah man it's just one of those things so sometimes that motivates people man you look out yeah there's nobody running i'm gonna go run then yeah you're like oh this is the one day of the year that people

were like don't do it i wish i could be that motivated there's but you seem to be like yo it's a hundred degrees nobody else is out there i'm fucking going i mean yo when you're a navy seal and you're yeah you're you're already sad you also that's your entire mentality like anyway like oh there's a giant war going on and like shit going on i want to go yeah no one wants to go i'm going yeah and then you handle your biz man fucking heroes people are crazy they're just like that's something that's something wild man but that dude uh i think he ran a race once that was a hundred miles fuck out of here yeah i'm pretty sure that guy's insane yeah i i believe that was that was him he ran a race that was like a hundred miles i also heard that because we were talking

about like the marathon and like whatever with my with my family and whatnot and are you still gonna run it i yeah you are going today i'm gonna die yeah uh but there's there's these two i'm gonna be there i'm gonna dress up in a costume my brother my brother's best man is like a very big runner he's ran the marathon and why gentleman his wife his wife was great his wife also is a runner and she's like they're both a part of like the nikey running team or whatever right white lady great people uh no she's uh actually hispanic i think i think i think um but they were telling me stories about how there's people or there's this guy that they know that ran a marathon and turned around and ran it again holy fuck in one shot see how is that humanly possible dude that's 52 miles

that guy should win the marathon that guy should not have to pay for stuff yeah i'm glad we get to watch you and what about the guy that runs the new york city marathon every year barefoot i saw that man or there's multiple people that do it do you see that you gotta see the characters that run this thing they run right by my apartment yeah when i lived in long island city my that was the year my brother was running it so we went out and it was actually raining that day and we went out we're standing on the side and there was a guy dressed in like he looked like a monk and he was barefoot he's running i'm like dude you're not worried about staff or something new york city new york city fucking streets disgusting oh dude running up first avenue

i've peed in those streets peed yeah you never peed in the street i've pooped in those streets yeah oh i've not pooped the other thing about um wait hold on i was striping on the highway the other day and this and i was driving by and this car pulled over like i could see it it's like 100 yards away pulled over door open shit door open no not shitting but a little kid came out and he was like but he was like not that little yeah like he was like eight so it felt weird that i could see it and he just walked out and he already had his pants off and just walks out to the grass and it's just paying not touching anything you saw his dick i didn't see his dick he's like a little guy but when i was in sweden uh we went to like this place no no when i was in spain we went to

like this little like beach place and uh it was like a like a saltwater pool which is awesome yeah i was just in one this past week they're fantastic love it so i'm talking to somebody who's sitting like they have like beds you know like it's like rehab like in vegas how they have like beds and cabanas or whatever so i'm talking to this guy for like a while like a couple minutes and then like i notice he has no lining in his shorts you're seeing this penis fucking dick and balls just having this whole conversation and me it's like i don't want to stop the conversation abruptly but i gotta get this cock out of my line of vision you know what i'm saying so i'm like were you laying down he was standing up i was like this on the pool and he was above me damn you were

like about to yeah that's a service him yeah dude like if it was any like if he yes you could have taken anything yeah yeah yeah anything you wanted so i was like oh my god this guy's cock is really close to me like i gotta get out of here so i literally i push off the side and then just go into a back float and so i could get get out from under his dick and you were floating oh yeah i'm an amazing floater but in saltwater pools you're gonna float easier because of the salt so i was just like yeah yeah it just like went into a float so i didn't have to stare so you can escape this cock anymore yeah and dude i sink very easily i could teach you how to float i can't yeah all the spanish and and torus there when they saw me floating the whole pool was watching me float

because you're that good because i was that good you know it was an amazing floater also my mom is she yeah she i my mom in a five-foot pool can't touch the floor oh no neither can i because she's like i just can't get down there no i'll just rise i'm amazing at floating so many people came up to me ask mika so many people came up to me we're like how do you do that what are you just like your body's not even submerged no like i'm like you know like how half a submarine is out that's what it looked like and i can do it with my hands like this and my legs crossed that's insane yeah so yo i'm telling you this like 10 fucking people from other countries are coming up to me and asking me to teach them how to float how you do flow yeah yeah how do you how do you do that how are you

doing that people were going like this under me they thought i was like a fucking david blank ask mika it was insane so i told all these people how to do that so how do you do it can't tell you the fuck no you want a bunch of swedish strangers what the trick is when you float is pretend like your belly button is attached to the sky so what happens is you act like you're getting pulled up like you know how um how mary jane dies in that spider man movie you know like she goes like that but her body is like stuck to the web okay that's what you have to imagine like like you're a puppet and you're bringing your belly button up to the sky that's it yeah it's all you gotta do i don't know and lean your head all the way back a lot of people

put their head like this like look how they're floating just lean your head back so all i have to do is push my belly yeah push your belly up and you're good you can do hands out to your side first and then i'll show you how to do that i can't do it man yeah i float it for like 35 minutes easily i could float for hours in a pool so you theoretically don't need a like a raft no i would freeze to death before anything i'm telling you dude i would tell you i have starvation i'm i'm that good in water i gotta see you in your element yo mika couldn't believe i go yeah i know i could do the butterfly stroke like well and mika's like okay and marcus is like all right and his brother monia is just like yeah whatever dude so we get to the pool mika's like show us

fucking just start mika fapping and he's like holy shit i'm like yo i told you it's a big spanish butterfly it's a big spanish butterfly so it's like yeah and then i just he was like oh shit he's like all right i thought very good i thought you're full of shit i thought you were full of shit mark is like holy shit man i didn't know holy shit very good and they were like yo that's fucking impressive i was like yeah man that was fucking fat ass belly fully i can move boy can float i can float and i can move um float like a butterfly

oh i'm not staying in much these days but what what what was your favorite animal oh uh i liked penguins yeah penguins are great i like great great childhood animal i like monkeys monkeys are cool too because they hug you yeah i'm all about hugs if you could describe yourself as an animal oh i'm a monkey you're a monkey yeah man i kind of consider myself like a zen bear like a zen panda like a very calm in the wild like a sloth like a sloth like mentality but like the shape of a panda remember we watched that video that panda eating bamboo one of my favorite videos of all time

that's a satisfying video just when you really like we know pandas exist obviously right they're not real though but if you really look at them you're like this isn't an animal i know like there's a person in there and you know what's weird on especially pandas because their eyes if they're white they look weird like if where the where it's black yeah yeah like if you look at a bulldog right you know how like one eye will be like the white side and the other side would be like the brown side yeah the white side's kind of creepy you know that's why pandas are cute because like you don't know where their eyes are kind of they look like uh like the killer whales of like the land kind of you know but they're like so soft i know that's what i'm saying like i have

the i think they're dangerous mother fuckers yeah yeah so that's why i have like the attitude of a sloth in the shape of a panda nice what a pandas like do just chill hard like try to like not be extinct and they just eat bamboo how can a a fucking like a person though they're like yeah they eat it like a fucking stick of celery they bite this the like the shield off of it the skin yeah i then eat it yeah like a fucking carrot it's awesome dude animals are just yeah what kind of animal would you think i am i would say like sloth like a sloth you got yeah like a big sloth yeah because you're just like like you know sloths they just don't really yeah like i'll get there eventually like how can that

animal not gain some speed over the years and like they don't need it they're just hanging yeah but like no one's going after sloths i would say i'm trying to think of what you would be don't they have like big ass nails too like yeah they do big long ones but so they have that's has to be kind of getting a beaver vibe from you i'm a beaver yeah a beaver yeah a busy beaver a busy beaver yeah i'm a busy beaver yeah i'm getting a beaver revive how why am i giving you a beaver vibe he's i don't know there's something beaver about you is it my teeth no it's not your teeth is it my beaver beaver you saying i got a long flat ass that you do kind of a flat ass not a long no no no no no is there such thing as a long ass yeah yeah yeah dude i gotta see a long

ass i got a couple ants and uncles they got the fucking oh yeah you know what yeah i know what a long ass is for sure yeah man yeah something about you like beaver i'm not a beaver man no because like you could build like you could do stuff like you're like beavers build things i feel like you could build stuff like i feel like you have like a good like oil like something in your glands is like expensive like beaver oil is beaver oil is a thing i think so like they're beaver glands i don't know if that's yeah where did you buy that they sell us at like dick sporting goods or something yeah they sell they sell like beaver oil you're beaver i'm not a beaver i'd say i'm a monkey i don't think you're a monkey because monkeys are reckless no they're like lovable

yeah but they're like wreck i don't know beavers i feel like are smarter than monkeys no they build dams that's just pile shit that's cool they just that is cool man but they just pile stuff and it becomes are you gonna tell me that a fucking i don't know what they call a group of beavers a band of beavers all right you're gonna tell me that a band of beavers building a dam isn't cool it's not tell me that's not cool it's not that cool you're nuts don't build like concrete dams no they're not out there a beaver in a hard hat would be so cute but like i'm they're not building but they do them naturally in nature dog so they could fucking live yeah but how's that different than a than a bird creating a nest on the top of a tree and then fights off other birds

on top of a tree seriously the water element birds don't gotta worry about water and drowning and shit beavers do beaver can drown you could drown a beave yeah but they're good swimmers yes yes and their tail is made for swimming what are you looking for what's a platypus it's a beaver is a platypus a beaver it's it's a be in the beaver family okay all right no there was something i wanted to show you on twitter i'm not i'm off the phone with something we were gonna talk about always blaming me guys linger now you now you've you've been you've been seeing it he's trying to make me out to be something that i'm not all right this is something oh other thing i want to talk about jadekiss the rapper okay ordered a pizza right this is news just crust

he ordered just the crust of a pizza you want to see the picture of it can you even what are you that's what he ordered just the crust yes he ordered just the crust of a pizza why because he doesn't need dairy but wouldn't you just take the cheese off of a pizza yeah there's a bunch of other stuff yeah he ordered just the crust pizza that is so dumb yeah why don't you just get breadsticks i don't know they literally had to take a pizza that they cooked and just cut it out yeah and the employees probably ate it yep probably did you ever work in a pizzeria yes i did did you

crush pizza 100% every fucking day probably 20% of why i'm built the way i'm right now i just never lost that fucking weight what what slice would you get i would get the same thing every single day uh chicken bacon ranch slice barbecue chicken slice bar or or yeah or the grossest slices buffalo chicken would always fucking get me too i don't know if we had a buffalo chicken buffalo chicken was good we had a barbecue chicken slice that was a phenomenal and then i would get like a fountain uh nest tea oh fountain you know for some reason fountain soda is just so much better than like soda it's like bubbly yeah and it's there's some like it's like a little water down i feel yeah but i hate when you drink water from a fountain because you taste all the soda too though

it's like i don't really feel that way yeah i feel that way all the time i don't really feel that way um so this i don't know what they do somebody somebody who is this somebody on twitter their name is bijan steven he uh tweeted out i'm curious what's the dumbest idea you have that you nevertheless believe will be if implemented make the world a better place did you read that correctly i i did i did it's a very confusing tweet can i see i'm gonna read it again i'm curious what's the dumbest idea you have that you nevertheless believe will comma if implemented comma make the world a better place okay so some of them i'm gonna read some of them off and see if you would like when viral yeah okay what will make the world a better place go ahead

yeah but but you gotta also remember that they're ridiculous like they're not like all right crazy ideas that will make the world a better place go okay if you come to a complete stop at the bottom of an on ramp you immediately lose your driver's license i like that one i mean that's a little heavy but i hate when people stop dude you gotta you gotta you gotta cruise out you gotta just slow down and be like yeah yeah and then go yeah i understand losing licenses is a heavy i do hate that feeling though like yo is this guy gonna let me in or not you ever have to fucking floor it at the bottom like every time just like this guy's not gonna let me in all right so that one's not bad your car horn is just as loud inside your car as it is outside

that's amazing that's a really good one that's a great one i like that one a lot because if you're gonna use that horn you should be able to get some of that too yeah i like that i rarely use my car horn i don't really beep my car like that people beep people love beep it these people should be shocked i love the hood beep the hood beep like if you would drive by people you know like when you first got your license and you get this yeah yeah that's fine the little yeah it's fine the hood beeps are the best if someone in front of you if the light turns green and maybe they're looking at some or they're talking to someone to give them a it's weird that beeps have different like languages it's like Mandarin how you could say things like if you they if you project them a

certain way yeah me different things yeah like a little it's me being polite like hey man keep going i'm my upset or anything but you know turn your fucking head drive your car if i'm in front of you and you give me a huh i'll give you one of these out the window thanks my bad thank you yeah if you give me one of these hey i'm like all right relax yeah and then the i'm like i'm gonna fucking it just turned fucking green yeah yeah that's that gets the one of when i drove to your house the other night and i was driving home it was fucking midnight and it was traffic it took me an hour to get home it took me 20 minutes to get there dude people were holding their horns and for what i was like shoot them yeah shoot them there's nothing

worse than people that do that the horn should cost money see that's a good one to add if you if you're gonna press your horn depending on how long you hold it it should cost money yeah you should get a monthly bill it's like it's like roaming charges like easy pass you know i'm saying like because if you go it was a two cents you're never gonna know but hey your fucking things roll it's gonna add up yeah so i'm saying keep that meter running um you should be able to email or dm your doctor when you have a quick question i like that i love that like you know because every once in a while it's like hey listen i'm cool but i have like a 101 should i stay home from work you think oh i wasn't well i'm not gonna ask me about a fucking fever what are you gonna ask

him about i'd be like yo i got this thing on my shit like send him a picture of my cock yeah yeah yo look at my dick why did i immediately go std it'd be cool though if your doctor just hit you back like it's cool yeah it's like nah you're good dog yeah all right peace you send him like a fucking like hands emoji yeah i'd be like oh thank god that'd be awesome um if you don't use why a lot of these are car based i got a lot of people are driving i think they're like inspired by the ones before yeah yeah yeah but if you don't use a turn signal your car doesn't turn see i like that i like it i don't like it that's safe that's safe though that would make the world a better place of wood i'll be honest because think about how many accidents happen

from people cutting people off yeah but i also think that someone could like still cut you off if they just threw the thing on and turned right away you know what i mean but i also i i gotta be honest i'm not i don't use my my signal all the time like if no one's around if no one's behind me i don't feel the need to use my signal and how do i don't have to warn anybody right right yeah yeah but if i'm on the highway anytime on the highway and i'm changing lanes i'm using my signal obviously if there's someone behind me i'm using my signal but if there's no one behind me i'm not going to use it yeah you've been on the highway when there's no one behind you and be like where is everyone yeah sometimes when i drive right when i drive to connecticut and do it up there

there's like one light per quarter mile so i'm like it's fucking black back there that's what i'm saying like there could be something chasing me that's what i'm saying i hate that feeling i'm like you know why is there no one behind me where am i going did everyone die that's what it feels like am i going the right way that's what look that's yeah it's so true uh someone says twitter accounts should cost five dollars you could have that why why what is that gonna do you think twitter should be free i don't know instagram how much would you pay for it monthly yeah five bucks no you wouldn't probably not you'd pay a lot more no because here's the thing if it meant like do i have the same followers that i have now yeah yeah i'd pay a little more for sure but if i if i was

like a nobody that sounded really bad remember when danny gave me shit he was like oh you think you're like better than people i never said that you said something along those lines no you're making that up what i'm saying is if i didn't have like a following a following father week following god was just a father wing i have a piece of my beard in my mouth yeah i've been trying to get so if you didn't have a following yes i would i wouldn't pay that much she used it you think five dollars is a lot i mean on top of other things like if i'm factoring all my pay services that i have what's the most you would pay would you pay a hundred dollars a month right now with your following you'd have to

without question that would be the easiest money ever spent you have no followers yes you would still pay a hundred dollars a month if i'm in this industry that i am now 100% it's worth it okay because it's the most prevalent platform so it's like if that's the one people pay a hundred dollars for fucking linkedin shit you know what i didn't think about that yeah like you know i'm saying it's like 80 something dollars a month for whatever that is on linkedin people pay like 20 for like youtube premium yeah yeah so it's like yo for instagram just because it's free but it's like you got this is the one thing everyone has like honestly if it was $50 like everyone would do it do you think instagram's ever gonna go anywhere like is instagram like the

be all end all is it like the google of social media like it's hard to say like do you think there'll be something that surpasses instagram like the next instagram yeah of course damn i want to meet that kid well dude think about just that thing think about facebook yeah that was and is still the biggest one but like instagram's the most popular one would you say that like twitter faded is like a subsidiary of of facebook they all are they all are right yeah dude think about like this so like facebook is the is the mount well this is how this is how entrepreneurs think right so entrepreneurs they see facebook yeah and they go okay here's a great product everyone's on it like whatever but and and what's but what are the best parts of it right so there's the status

update there's the twitter yeah the yeah which is twitter yeah and then there was like and that's all it was at first people would be sharing statuses people liking and commenting so it's like all right we can create an entire social media platform off of that and that's twitter you know and i'm not saying this is exactly what happened but i'm just saying this is like the entrepreneurial mind of how people think and this is not something that i'm creating this is something that i've like read about yeah please don't do it on air let's let's make this no but i'm just saying this is how people think it's like when you see facebook at being such a massive thing right you're like okay what are the best parts of this and you break it up into parts and the first thing that was super popular

was all the statuses right which was sort of like what my space was but for a facebook did a better job of like kind of packaging it yeah and they said okay so the statuses with comments and whatever are is one part of facebook but it also has pictures it also has uh well it didn't have video back then your wall isn't that yeah your wall so they took the statuses that one point and that's twitter right so it's just that so if you just wanted that like this is twitter and then they had celebrities on it i remember like soldier boy was one of the first people like really on it so you could like contact celebrities like immediately so it was just you know one of those things and then and then facebook eventually became pictures of like

here's the pictures of this are like photo albums and they they started rolling out all these things of that and then they did uh video where you can leave videos on people's walls and whatnot and then they took just that and they put it and that's instagram you know what i'm saying like stripped it down simpler is better yeah exactly so it's it's when you think of like dumb inventions of things where it's like oh this exists but this is like a you know like a post it dude you could say even maybe dating apps came from that from facebook because it was like without question yeah like relationship status now it's like you don't have to worry of somebody single now now you everyone single everyone single on yeah and you can just find

people and when you think about it like the the thing that um zuckerberg did in his like dorm room whatever the face smash thing it's kind of like the same thing is too tender yeah you know it's like you have to you have people who's hot who's not that's basically oh it was yeah it's true but it's crazy how like all these things kind of derived from facebook yeah i never really thought about it until like right now yeah because it's all just like it's also because i learned the word subsidiary like three days ago but that it's just crazy because also with instagram you know there's no telling to what you know it'll be like with vine it was like the six second thing and like that was cool and like the reposting or like whatever but yeah it didn't last though i think it was

though i think it was still doing well it's just they made some some bad moves that that app could still be around in my opinion it's coming back they've been here in that for a while apparently but called bite i do think that any any social media platform has the potential to be overtaken i think it will be overtaken because people's their thing like changes to yeah yeah yeah you know i'm just like instagram is like like the one and it's attached to facebook now so it's like well yeah facebook bought them so as long as facebook's gonna be around instagram's gonna be around facebook will always be around that's what i'm saying because they just buy everything old people love fucking facebook yeah old people kind of ruin facebook for me to be honest why they were always

there no not that not like that because remember it was like it was a social network for like your college yeah you know like it started with kids and then now it's like old people like either talk about like trump or like their grandparents like it's like a very political place now so it's like fucking wild and crazy um one more that i wanted to ask you about these things that would change every job gets an oscar type award show including the likes of plumbers teachers i lost the tweet well whatever whatever i like that that's fine i think it'd be cool do teachers have something i think certain still the dundies remember that yeah no but it would be like on cbs i don't know if anyone like ricky your base would like work like the teacher's ball or

something and it would be like oh teacher of the year yeah yeah that's kind of fire and they would like show clips of you teaching like how they show like little mini clips of the fucking oscars all dramatic with like music behind it and then another one for the ladies is that all dresses uh have to come with pockets i didn't know that girls wanted pockets on their dress i thought they enjoyed the the clutch yeah you know i'm saying just like a nice little handbag that's what i thought i didn't know that they like they like pockets cut a pocket into this shit yeah fuck it can't be that hard to make a fucking pocket yeah how hard is it to make a pocket come on it's probably a little difficult yeah yeah yeah actually not really you just sew cut a hole and sew it i can make a pocket

it won't be the best pocket but it'll be a pocket you know i'm saying yeah i'm sure i'm sure your pocket making skills are fantastic are fantastic which one would you do would you if you had to create one oh um we'll put me on the spot here um oh i got it if you open a door for or hold a door for someone right if they don't say thank you they're not allowed access into the building this sounds like a personal vendetta nah it's just like if i hold the door for you and you know i held that door for you because you're walking through it you gotta say thank you if not because usually when you hold the door it's to get to the other door there's a lot of double doors for some reason not always but there are in cases that there are

even single doors can i ask you a question yeah say thank you in a in a double door situation right right one thank you suffices i was gonna say is this a double thank you yes a one a one thank you will suffice because first door second door sometimes they hold the door for me we both get one thank you out of it i hold the first one you hold the second oh that's an even exchange yeah but if i hold two one thank you's good enough because now we're kind of friends towards the second door now it's kind of like you have a good one so what about this right yeah hit me we're walking into the same building right there's a door then there's like a little like whatever room all right you got a door you mean like a little like lobby like hanging between the

things right okay where you're waiting for your table right right right so you open the door you open the door for me you hold it okay i go thank you okay i walk out to the next door is it fucked up if i do the open and hold it open as i walk through for you no as long as your hand reaches back and touches the middle of that glass we're good are you gonna thank me yeah now what if i double did that like what if i opened held you said thank you and then i open and held again 100 100% acceptable now should i be expecting a double thanks no no no no no like that could be like a quiet thanks like i'm cool with that you're making the conscious effort to hold the door for me let me ask you another question all right you

just want me to say no to something i'm opening up the first door i go through i hold it down like this yes i'm mad i'm a matador there's no there's no thank you no thank you but there's another door i but i'm you're you're saying that i've said thank you though no okay you know what i'll put you there you oh you you hold the door right but as you walk through right i don't say anything then we get to the next door you do the same thing and then i say thank you works yeah yeah because you addressed me at the end but i think you'd have a problem by the time you got to the second door if like this piece of shit maybe i'm not holding the door for have you ever held the door and someone just walks in you just go you're welcome i told you i did that one time i won't do that again

because i do it all time i don't like that i do it i i actually held the door for some woman who had like a child with her and she didn't say a goddamn word to me yeah well she's a fucking piece of shit and i did like the whole like i see you coming i open the door and stop and wait for you yeah the real gentleman move yeah i was i was working that day basically yeah i would have been like fuck you in my mind and that baby fuck you grab the kid fuck you yeah listen have some common fucking decency that's all i asked from people yeah you know hold the door for somebody it's not that hard it's not that hard i guess so fuck you man yeah tell somebody fuck you it's so good feeling have you once the last time you told somebody

just fuck you i don't know what's that you know you haven't like gotten into like any like like like arguments yeah like just like every time every once in a while with a stranger like driving or like um no i i honestly only have gotten into one bad thing while driving Keith was there actually but this guy it was like i was driving on a street it was two lanes and he got really fucking close to me right and there was no reason for me to be that close yeah so i was like i was like dude so i was like yo oh you gave him this one yeah because i this is the go to what this means what are you doing because i'm like yo what are you doing like you know what i'm saying like whatever because and then he started yelling at me like i did

something wrong could you hear him or was he screaming at you through glass like a fucking math man so he lowered his window and he was screaming my windows were up so i rolled by you so i rolled the bitches down oh yeah because i because now i'm like yo you almost hit me like i'm just driving in my lane and he got mad that i guess i complained or something so he started throwing he started hurling some threats through the glass so i was like you know what we're gonna get rid of this fucking barrier between us right so i lower the fucking windows mine and Keith's and he's on Keith's side and i forgot what i said to him but he was he was like uh i don't know if he said something about pull over to me right so i was

screaming like i'll fucking pull over right now and kick the shit like i was screaming at like basically like yo just then pull your car like i'll fucking kill you like i was so fucking mad at that point and that was the only time but the guy just like drove off but i was but i've never i don't really do that my sister maniac so let's help people to fuck off dude if Shannon is in the wrong she's best if she's in the wrong right and she's stuck in an intersection now and she's surrounded by two monster trucks filled with bodybuilding men she will lean out of her window and go you guys are fucking assholes yeah idiots she got balls she's crazy i was like shannon one day someone's gonna step out of their car and fuck you up and they're gonna be in the

right like you're crazy dude i do that the last time i did that was i was getting outside uh it's getting out of an uber in front of my apartment building and the guy just stopped and challenges starts banging on it on their horn on their horn the guy behind him yeah yo i get out i go yo shut the fuck up shut the fuck up i'm getting out of the car and the guy's looking at me and like he i thought he was getting ready to come out of his car so i took one step like towards the front of the car like i'll get busy right here in front of this fucking shit as soon as he saw that i think he kind of like scurried off a little bit like he didn't think i was gonna be serious but i thought he was coming at me but apparently he was just like

getting out of the way but i was ready to pop off tell somebody to shut the fuck up is a great feeling dude there was actually one time i don't know like a just if it's a just shut the fuck up yeah there was one time that uh i was driving i gotta tell you a great story too we keep going i don't know if i've told this story before i might have but i was driving and i was in i was behind a cab and it was driving so slow like you ever be driving behind someone you're like oh they're obviously looking for a spot yeah or they're old as shit and you're just like oh my god dude like just go you know so this cab is driving very slow and i'm just losing it and i'm losing it and i'm like trying to hold it together because i i don't like blowing up like

that no but then i started to get really fucking angry like in my car like i'm not gonna yell at the guy but i'm because i know i'm like unnecessarily angry right now right but i'm like why is this guy driving so slow and then he stops the car completely in the middle of the street and i'm like what the fuck is this guy doing then he gets out of his car to let the people out i'm like what is this guy doing opens the door for the for the person i'm like yo who the fuck because now he's blocking the other lane yeah so i'm like yo what is this guy doing was he like overdrive or something out of the back seat comes two kids and a pregnant woman oh god and i was like i am such a piece of shit you're like fucking i was like oh god so i was like flipping i was

like yo what is this guy doing and he's like dude i'm doing the right thing is what i'm fucking doing so me and my mom went shopping one time it's probably i was probably like 12 or 13 years old we went shopping uh my mom was like a layaway queen like it was fantastic in layaway yeah like i had so many bikes like three quarters of the way paid off like it's amazing but like so we parked one time and my mom went to the park went to go park and somebody zoomed into the spot and it was like a mom and her two daughters who were not particularly nice people so i'll never forget it the daughter says to my mom snooze you lose i said oh yeah i was 12 13 oh no i waited for them to go into the store i came out of the store i took a pebble no yes i did i took a pebble unscrewed the front

fucking car seat the front uh the little thing on the tire put the pebble in there and just let that shit you lose damn flatten that bitch's tire fuck you i was a fucking asshole when i was a kid yeah especially when it came to my mom like anyone's gonna yell my mom it's gonna be me i i told you i told you when i like i think we've had the conversation on the show before where like if someone like hit your mom in front of you what would you do oh my god if some woman hit your mom i beat the fucking dog shit i tried to jokingly bring this up to my dad once i was like what would you do if like uh you know a woman like hit mom yeah he would kill but he was like he changed his tone because it was a funny conversation then he literally was like

now listen to you i'm gonna tell you right now i was like oh yeah right get serious like if anyone touches your mother and you're there you have my permission to murder yeah dude you have to yeah if i was ever in a store i'm i honestly i dread the day that i have to like me to be in that situation because i really don't know how to react because like i love my mom and it's just it is also also there's a there's a there's certain strengths there's grown man strength and there's like defend honor strength that you don't even know you have and when you have to use defend honor strength you're a fucking murder weapon it gets to that level like you see red like you don't remember what you did i think if someone like hurt my mom and they had an ak4 just haven't

pointed at me i'll just walk towards yeah you wouldn't be afraid of it and just rip up the bullets off the bolts would just be ripping me up and i'd be like i'm gonna kill you just be like in cage exactly just like taking a determinator oh so the other store is gonna tell you is my cousin daniel uh one time he was working with a moving company and they were going somewhere to a job so you would have to drive to the job site get in the truck pack up and then leave right so he's driving with one of these guys that also is on the job and they're in this particular busy part of westchester that's like kind of congested a lot so like they're going they're going and they get into it with another guy like you'll fuck you like no man fuck you and they're in a convertible

my cousin drove a convertible sob at this time he's like yeah fuck you man you'll fuck you so this guy that he said fuck you just takes this oatmeal and throws it and hits daniel in the head Daniel had to drive all the way to work with fucking oatmeal dripping down his fucking face it into his clothes rule number one if you're gonna yell people on the street don't have a convertible hit him right in the head apparently oatmeal must be a little compliant yeah but uh yeah anyway i think we need to wrap this up here folks uh we have a meeting yeah we have a meeting oh before we wrap this up are those dolphins or sharks sharks sharks okay a lot of animal talk today a lot of animal talk a lot of animal talk yeah oh the one last question that i wanted to ask you

if it meant i don't know i made that clear my throat's been all fucked up a little scratchy um to if we talked a lot about space in the last two episodes but one question that i wanted to ask and we didn't i didn't ask you before if you could be the first person on mars go down in history as the first person to live on mars but the thing is you have to stay there for the rest of your life would you do it absolutely not you think you think i give a shit about history i don't but yo but you would be taught like forever like you'd be like unforgettable obviously don't care i don't care either i'm not even gonna know i don't give a shit who would do who cares madness like me being here like yeah like welcome back to the basement yard joes on mars

everyone everyone like we'd be like yo that's crazy for like a month and you'd be like all right life goes on yeah you know what they should do like people that are serving life in prison they should make them go to space i don't know let them be like explorers like yeah let them these people commit crimes you want them to fly into space with billions of dollars of equipment and explore the universe for us let's hope danny never makes any executive decision in his life because that is the worst fucking idea i've ever heard yo i got mars rocks i got mars rocks we're fucking selling shit up there at all seven pieces of the space station and shit it's like yo i got an oxygen tube uh it's from nasa yo man yo yo listen i got a quiet i saw the

whole rocket half price like one billion dollars yo i got half of a spaceship fully furnished i'm saying like 60 to 65 bones you know when people like fucking can't pull off an arm robbery to get out there and pull off like go find the water on mars is there any water there yeah thanks so i don't know man i'm taking a nap chill out open my cot let me out yo why am i floating and shit yeah but people in the comments say if you go to mars or not if it meant you can't come back yeah all the ones that say yes i'm blocking you so yeah yeah it's sad to stand up to mars what a maniac um anyway shout out to uh the stank podcast daniel watched for show a couple

weeks ago got some episodes out right now um we're number one okay we were number one tv and film all right okay yeah the stank went number one on tv and film charts on itunes which is awesome so thank you guys for the support for that we went number one santa gata studios we're starting a network we have a team all three shows right now it's it's we it's we now it's a team all right we got the base in your we got other people's lives and we got uh the stanks we want everyone from all the shows to kind of support all of them we want to grow all of them at the same time and just create something really cool number one so you guys go check those out if you don't know other people's lives it's a show where me and my buddy greg we and honestly call people and they

have like these wild things that they do and you learn a lot about people because the whole idea is like you walk past people every day and they're strangers you don't know their story and now they could have like a really cool one so these are the cool ones yes and then the stank that danie does now with frankie that do movie reviews tv shows all your nerdy needs all your nerdy needs you know what i'm saying and dirty deeds and dirty filthy deeds filthy deeds thank you so definitely go support that as well thank you and yeah danie we're gonna find you at danie little priori on instagram and twitter and at the stank podcast yep and you guys can uh follow this show at the baseman yard on instagram a bunch of clips and whatnot on there just go check that

out and that is all see you guys next time we're going to mars