The Basement Yard - #202 - A Cold Case

Episode Date: August 12, 2019

Danny & Joe embark on a journey of puns, frozen babies, & other things. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. How you doing, Danny? Doing well. Just wanted to put my phone away. Oh! Yeah, that's a new thing now. Oh, really? Only for... That'll be out before you know it. Only if you ask for it.

Okay. I won't pull it out under my own discretion and or merit. So it's like a penis? Yeah. Any consent before you pull that thing out? For sure. What's going on with your face? Oh, it's Hampton's mustache.

It's a Hampton's mustache? Yeah, we're going to the Hampton's this weekend. We are. We are going to the Hampton's. That is a power stash. Let me tell you. I might join you in that, you know? Yeah, I think you should.

I think you should have a Hampton's stash, too. I think if you go to the Hampton's, there's two things you should bring. Mm-hmm. Some kind of like fruity drink. Like a rosé. Like a rosé? Because I feel like the rich white girls, they love rosé. Oh, yeah, for sure.

Why do they love rosé so much? I don't know. I don't know what's going on with that, but they just, they love it. I'll tell you who else loves it. Because it's like the whitest wine, I guess. I guess, but you know who else loves it? This fucking guy right here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

A frosé. A frosé, dude? You're a big frosé guy. A frozen rosé? A frosé? Joey Frosé. Sucking that thing down. Yeah.

They love that, but you need to bring rosé and a mustache at the Hampton. It's just how it works. I don't really know about that second one. Rosé is definitely a must. I feel like Miami's a big mustache place, too. If you have a power stash in Miami. No, Miami's one of those places where you got to get a button-down shirt and just leave that bitch open.

Just let it blow in the wind. I'm going to be wearing a lot of Hawaiians open shirt. I really don't have enough Hawaiians, and I need to go get it before we go. Fuck yeah. And I also think I'm going to buzz the stash in, too. Yeah, just do it. Do it for fun. I want to be sillier.

But yeah, I think a part of you can be silly. I think I'm a silly guy. I want to be sillier. I think you're silly on the show, but you don't... I don't project silly enough. Yes. I want to project more silly. Yeah, match my silly.

Yeah. I mean, I can't match all that silly. I mean, I'm a silly guy. That's a whole mess of silly. Yeah. You think this is happening overnight? No. I think you worked very hard on all that.

This is years and years of perfecting school. Yeah. And you're just piling silly on top of each other. Of course. Of course. And now we have this mountainous... See, I'm afraid to get a movie role at this...at what I look like now. Because I don't want to get typecasts as like...

Silly big dude. Silly big fat boy. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. But they're funny. Yeah, we're great. Do you think you'd be as funny if you weren't like as big? I don't think so.

Yeah. How many comedians do you really see that are like in amazing shape? I guess like Dave Chappelle now, but like, he smokes like Newport's all the time. How great is shape is he in, you know? He looks like he's banged up though. Yeah, he looks like he's definitely done some stuff. I guess Kevin Hart, but he's short. So he has some sort of like...

Yeah. Something we can make fun of. We got to be able to make funny. It can't be like super hot up there. Yeah, you can't be like 6'1", like... Ripped up. Like 5% body fat. Yeah, fuck you.

Just like, tell me about how your life sucks. Yeah, like get the fuck out of here. You know what I don't understand? What? How we only fucked four girls last week. Yeah. You have no idea how you don't get posty, dude? What was that?

I don't know what I tried to say just now. That's alright. I'm just trying to be more silly though. Oh, I've been a lot into... I just want to get this out of the way because it's really, really like fucking with me. I've really been in CSI Miami these days. And Horatio. You know I've never watched any of that stuff?

Are you fucking crazy? I've never watched any of it. You've never watched CSI? I've never watched any like cop thing. You don't know who Horatio Kane is. Alright, alright, alright. You don't know who Horatio Kane is. No.

You know the show. I mean, I've seen it. It's the guy in the beginning that has like a pun and then goes, Yeah! You know that. We won't get fooled in the game. Yeah, yeah. His sunglasses will be off and say somebody got shot seven times.

Right? Yeah, yeah. And he'll be like, the victim was shot seven times, DOA. And he'll be like, oh, I guess the number seven isn't that lucky. Yeah! And then it goes right into a pun, right into the yeah. Yeah. And then like...

The show starts? And then the show starts. Well, they play a little more of the song. I would be more inclined just to watch like a compilation on YouTube of just the beginning puns then. Oh, I'm sure there is. I'm sure there is. Like who?

I wonder if like, people get paid to write his puns. You would love to be the pun guy. I would be an amazing pun guy. You'd be a good silly pun guy. Oh, yeah. Like, body washed up on the shore. DOA. I guess it's true when they say, life's a beach.

Yeah! Yeah, come on. Come on, do it. I can't think of one on the side of my head. You can think of a pun. All right. I'll give you a... A scenario?

A murder happens in a library. A murder happens in a library. A murder happens in a library. Do you think anyone's been killed in a library? For sure. You never play Clue? That's true. It's always in a library.

In the conservatory. In the conservatory. No idea what that room is. I don't know. I guess you could serve stuff in there. Yeah, I think you could, yeah. I thought it was like a big hall or something. Yeah, it might be.

I don't know what it is. Someone gets killed in a library. Yeah. You could make this work. All right. So what are some things like associated with a library? Books? Being quiet.

Being quiet. Yes. All right. So what are like taking out books? Taking out books. Throwing you some softballs here. You want me to do it? Yeah, yeah.

All right. Murder in a library, CSI Miami. Here we go. Jane Doe is found outside. Leaving after taking out a couple of books. Body. She was DLA. I guess these books are going to be overdue.

Yeah. You got one. All right. Let me give you one more. Can you please stop? Let me give you one more. I want you to do one. It's not as funny because I don't have glasses.

You can put an imaginary glasses or even fun here. Supermarket death. Oh, I'm not doing that. That's too easy. Different points. Okay. All right. Yeah.

Baseball game. Somebody dies at a baseball game. It's so hard to come up with something that isn't so obvious. You got one already. Let me get your glasses. Remember, they go on after. No, they're off. Yeah, they come.

Oh, they're off. They're off. You're looking at the body. Oh, then they go on. Pungos. Glasses go on. Oh, okay. Yeah, hits.

Yeah, hits. All right. Someone's going to make an edit of all of these. Oh, yeah. John Doe. Found him in the right field. Bleachers dead on arrival. Looks like someone took him out at the ball game.

Yeah. Dude, by the way, I can't see it. Yeah, you're going to hurt your eyes permanently. And I'm wearing glasses. Yeah. And you wear glasses. I'm just going to try and live in your world right now. Don't do it.

You might get permanent damage. I'm worried. Are my eyes magnified? Yes. A little bit. Because I can't see. I can't see either. We're just two guys I can't see.

But we were baseball one. Oh, no. That one was way better. I didn't want to say mine. All right. Yeah. It's all good. By the way, it's fucking hot in here.

Yeah, it is. I just want to say that. Yeah, we're going to be sweating this episode. Whatever. It's fine. It's going to be the day that I haven't done in a very long time. Tell me about it. First of all, shout out to...

You know what I just thought about? Didn't even... I don't know what ads we're doing today. I got to go figure that out in the middle of the show. That's fine. That's fine. But shout out to Postmates because they're one of the sponsors of the show. But I have Postmates, some cold stone.

Yeah. Ice cream. Yeah. Which is amazing. All right. Oh, I did too. I sent a picture of American Dream in the chat last night. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Yeah. It's fire. Yeah. But is it the laziest thing on earth because you're making somebody go get your ice cream? Yeah. Yes. That's pretty dope. I don't have any...

Well, that's not true. I was going to say I don't have any delis in walking distance, but I do. But it's not that close. Yeah. I wouldn't go. I wouldn't walk. You have a... Duane read down your block.

That's like that. Dude, I have a subway... An actual subway and then a subway sandwich placed like 700 feet for me. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Not much of an excuse to like not go. But dude.

You know what I'm saying? So I found this thing online, which is a crazy stat, which I don't know how true this is, but it just reminded me of that. But there was a survey. Okay. Right. 28% of food delivery drivers swipe food from your order, 28. That makes sense.

They're stealing food. Here's why. You and I big time grub hub seamless postmates, whatever is going to bring us food right now, people. Right. You ever get an order and you're like, ah, damn, they forgot so and so, but you eat anyway? Like... Dude, but that's usually like a sauce or like a fucking...

So like if you get a side of fries and it doesn't show up, are you going to call back for the fries and be like, bring those shits back over here? Or are you just going to eat? I mean, you know how I am. If I got the completely wrong order, but it's something I'd eat. I just eat it. Yeah. So maybe they take a shot and just eat the fries.

Did you ever deliver food? Yeah. I never ate anyone's food though. Me neither. Well, one, because it was pizza, you would know it was missing. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, me too. So like, you would know it was gone.

That's wild though. That kind of bothers me that that number is so high, but I believe it. 28's hot. We talked about this on an old, old show with Asa, but I forgot your number. What is your tip number? Minimum. What do you mean, like percentage? Oh, you do percent?

I don't. I like to give a solid number. I give a solid number, but it depends what I'm buying. I tip very well. When the bill's low, I tip very well. That's what I'm saying. If I get a $20 thing, I'll tip you $10. Yeah.

I'll do like five, five, six. The reason the percentage thing is stupid is that if you get an $80 order, right? Like some wings, you get a few pies. Fucking pizza pies are expensive now. Yeah, they're like $18, $19. That's with nothing on it. Depends where you're getting it from. Yeah, sure.

That's true. Domino's like $5. Yeah, we're just giving these away today. Yeah. But they're just like... Yankees scored four runs. You get $5 pizza. Is that not the fattest thing?

Oh, I love it. That like people will like, if they don't make the shot to like give everyone free corn dogs, the whole crowd's like, oh. We wanted the corn dog. I've never wanted a corn dog in my life. I've also never had one, I think. You would like it. You know, like...

I'm not a big corn muffin guy. No, no, no, no, no. But like, you know, like, you ever get like those chicken nuggets from Chinese places? What is it? No. It's just deep fried chicken. Like, little chicken things, and it's got that weird pink sauce. Oh, like, general sauce.

Chicken? No. I've never gotten chicken nuggets from a Chinese restaurant, if that's what you're asking me. Also, what's in a crab rangoon sauce? I don't know what the fuck that is. You never had a crab rangoon? Crab rangoon sounds like that big thing that was trying to eat Luke Skywalker and return to the Jedi with the cage, and he killed it by the cage coming down, if you know what I'm talking about.

That's a crab rangoon right there. You should probably have a crab rangoon at some point. It's a sauce? No, no, no. It has like this weird sticky pink sauce. That's amazing, but what is it? Probably 99% corn starch. Yeah, like syrup.

It's like a syrupy. But it's corn. It's cornmeal around a hot dog. You would like it. I know, but I... Yeah. I don't think so. You don't feel strongly about it?

No, I don't like eating things on sticks. All right, so like you made baseball pun earlier, right? Yeah. Baseball game, chicken tenders and fries, hot dog. Which one are you going with? When is it? Is that a base? What?

Like what month? Oh, oh, it's a night game. It's cool enough you can do whatever you want. Oh. And honestly, it would depend how hungry I am. Okay. Because if I'm not that hungry, I'll just get that dog. But there's no variables.

It's just you have to pick one and go back to your seat. If I'm really interested in the game, I'll get the hot dog. Okay. Because chicken fingers and fries and fucking... There's no table. And there's also a lot. I got to go to a separate... And what the fuck is with that?

Fucking Yankee Stadium, City Field, these places are... How much did it cost to make this fucking building? Billions. I can't put the catch-up next to the register. I got to walk to a separate fucking thing to put the... On to the little fucking... On the... What?

And also, they're all fucking disgusting by the time you get there. Looks like someone took a shit in the catch-up. It's everywhere. It looks like a fucking murder scene in there. And those things that are... Those things are so farty. Like whenever I try to get some catch-up, it's not just farting all over me. I got residue on my fucking hand.

And why are we making catch-up things that are this big? Can we get something that's this big? Get me a fucking bowl. I know. I don't... Okay? Don't get me this little like... Like fucking Aladdin's fucking monkey's hat-sized little thing

that I got to put my catch-up in. I could dip one fry in here at a time. Who's eating fries one at a time? At a baseball game. I'm trying to get as gross as possible, as quick as possible. Yeah, for sure. And the thing that bothers me the most about it too is... You can't dip stuff at a baseball game.

There's nothing to put it on. I got to balance it on my legs like a child. Yeah. I got my legs like sealed shut. Like I'm a woman at a fucking awards show in a small dress. And then I got to fucking dip this thing. It's ridiculous. I do like about baseball games how everyone comes together to like pass money down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like pass your ID down. It becomes church. It becomes church. It really does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They should just get one of those things that the ushers have at church where they have the basket. Yeah.

Where they're like, how you doing? Do you think that... I guess no, because it would take away from like the upgraded seating. Like where I'm sitting tonight, like you just order and they bring you shit. Right. Do you think that all seats should have that? No, probably not. No, right?

Yeah. But you got to have some lines for concessions. I know. Because the reason I brought that up, because I was thinking about like on planes, right? Yeah. You basically pay more to like not be treated like a piece of shit. What do you mean? Like the game, like I said, I'm sitting in the legends seats tonight.

Yeah. And it's like, those tickets were paid for to like not like to be treated like royalty. Right. Do you think that there should be class systems at sporting events and on airplanes, like that type of... What would that be called? Business model. Yeah.

I think so. I think the closer you are and like the cooler perks, you can charge more money. Why not? Because yo, are they... It just kind of sucks. It's like, yo, I'm broke and I can't afford this blanket on a plane. Yeah. But it's a blanket.

And who the fuck would pay an extra $400 for a blanket and a glass of orange juice? Somebody that has it, I guess. Yeah. I would. Dude, all I know is... I've never sat first class in my life. I sat first class for the first time. Really?

It's a big difference. Really? Dude, you get right on the fucking plane and you get right off that bitch. Yeah. And there's leg room for days. I had a TV that came up out of my chair and just sat like this. It's kind of fire. Yeah.

And you have like your own like little pit. I don't mind being, as long as I'm in the aisle, I like the aisle. There's no way you could sit coach on like an eight or nine hour flight. Probably not. No. And I wouldn't. You'd be like, I hate all of this. Yeah.

No. Even if I had like, if all the money I had was going to, that's what the ticket cost, I'd do it. Also, the thing about first class people, not like first class people in general, like in life, I mean, first class people that sit on planes, a lot of them fly all the time. Yeah. So you don't have to deal with like, mostly every time I sit... They know the rules.

They know the rules and they also like, you don't have like the scared people that make you scared sitting with you on the plane. Oh, so this thing's bouncing all over the place and everyone's like, oh my God. It's ridiculous. I'm trying to do the crossword. Yes. They're all like super calm. Yeah.

And coach gets a little crazy. Yeah. People are like, oh, no. Oh, dude, me and my cousin were coming back from Los Angeles once and I swear the plane literally went like this. And the woman next to me just goes, oh, oh, oh. So I'm like, yo, now I'm scared. That's like, I don't want to be the initial screamer.

Yeah. But once I hear a scream, I'm going to get scared. Yeah. You're going to open up this box. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I was like, oh, oh.

So like, I'm having a fucking... Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying not to scream like a girl, but I'm kind of like, oh, and like letting out like the whoo. Yeah. Like Rick Flair in a little bit. First class you don't deal with.

Yeah. They take care of you. I swear to God, I'm convinced there's parachutes in first class. Or just like breaks off like piece of the Batmobile. I'm like, we're good. They're going down. What's the last time you were on a plane? Denver, maybe?

Oh, no, Miami. Miami. Miami, right? Miami was before Denver, right? May? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

See, coach with your boys is cool. Yeah. I don't mind as long as I get an aisle. You get through it together. I can't fuck with, because I like the aisle because I can't sleep on planes. And I think that's the only reason why people don't like the aisle because, oh, I got to get up every time someone's got to pee. Well, like, I don't mind that, but I would hate to be on the window or in the middle,

and the person on the aisle is falling asleep. I think as an aisle, you have a duty to be alert. For sure. For sure. Just as much as like those emergency exit people have a job, you have a job. You have a job as an aisle seat. Stay the fuck up. Yeah.

Wake up, bitch, because I got to pee. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I agree. I don't mind. I like, in fact, I don't like taking off or landing without seeing out the window. I don't like being like, oh, geez.

Okay. Like, I like seeing the ground and like, I like looking at the city and shit, too. That feeling of just being in the air, like initially it scares me a little bit. I don't like climbing. Like, when you're like, you're back and like, we could be going to the moon. I'm not sure. And I don't like when they just decided to do this. Yeah.

Yeah. And you're like, oh, this is how we do it. Yeah. It's crazy. This is how we do it. And then Friday night. And I feel all right. Because the party's here on the West side.

And this is the part where I don't forget the stuff. But if I'm at a party, then I'll remember stuff. Exactly. That's how the song goes. Anyway, how long are we? We're at 20 minutes right now. I should go find my laptop. Oh, yeah.

Because I'm going to have to figure out, you know, what's going on with these ads. Yeah, for sure. Do you have anything that you would want to say that I don't need to be here for? Oh, yeah. I got some stuff. I'm going to plug. I'm going to plug some stank. Oh, plug the stank.

Perfect. Just wanted to say we're two. This will probably come out. We'll be three episodes into the stank podcast. I point over the wrong shoulder shit. We're going to have episode three Star Wars reference of the stank podcast that outreach and everyone coming together and watching the show has been so awesome. I just wanted to thank everybody.

We're having a great time doing the show. And thank you guys so much for the support of the show. Joe also OPL. How are you guys doing over there at OPL? OPL is doing great. I ran. But you know, I just wanted to thank everybody. I mean, Frank, you're super pumped to be doing the show.

You guys are amazing. And you know, if you want to check out the show, we're on Apple Music, Spotify. Why'd you say Apple Music? I always say that you're on iTunes, but iTunes, Apple Podcast. Yeah. Why do I say Apple Music? I feel so old. I'm on a P the P pod.

That's my dad. He's going iPod. What do you got? You little fucking P pod. All right, dad. One thing I want to bring up to you too. And then at the stank podcast on Instagram and we're on Spotify and Apple podcast. Apple iTunes.

It is lit. Do you miss iPod sometimes? Yes. I know. You know what I miss? No, I actually don't really know. I do. If there was an iPod that was strictly Bluetooth.

I don't like Apple Music that much. Wait, wait, wait. You want an iPod that's Bluetooth, like an iPod, like the track wheel and all that shit that can hold like a bun, like a bajillion songs. A whole mess of songs. But it's just for music. That's why I don't like this because when I did exercise, I would get confused by the phone and distracted by the phone.

Yeah, because people are texting you. Yes. If I could just have something that just plays strictly music. Just music. I'll get in and get out. I actually, I know I have a friend who runs every morning and like goes to the gym every morning and he bought an iPod for that. He's like, I've bought like five iPods this year because he's like, they're not great.

Like they break. Yeah. And their battery life is terrible. He's like, the lithium is probably worn out. He's like, I buy him. He's like, I leave my phone in the locker and I have my iPod so that no one could text me. I don't feel like compelled to text anyone.

He's like, that's my time to just. Yeah. It's honestly nice. Yeah. Because it's a huge distraction to think about. Yo, you know what? I'm in between sets. Let me check my Instagram.

Yeah. Oh shit. Like two and a half minutes went by and I'm still sitting here fucking scrolling through Instagram. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I've been guilty of that also. And you don't want to be one of those people in the gym either.

We talked about that with the gym. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're taxed and I'm like, yeah, no one. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Um, all right.

So let me get to these sponsors real quick for shout out. Whoa, dude. That was intense. Um, the first one we have here. I'm going to pull up in just a sex. Do, do, do. Pull it on up. Pull that thing in.

Let's go. I can't believe I forgot to do this for you. Get the stuff. All right. So the first one we have here is Seakeak. Shout out to Seakeak. I mean, you're going to a baseball game. This fits perfectly with that.

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Yeah. That's, come on. Put your cat's piss to work. That's what I'm saying. Make your cat's piss work for you. New slogan, they should pay for that. I should probably ask him for a raise. I have a confession to make.

I usually don't talk during ads because it's like a super easy break for me sometimes in the editing room. But then I saw an episode where I didn't talk much and it's kind of weird, you know? So you want to be doing ads? No, no, no. I don't ever want to read. Okay. You want to hype man them.

Yeah. I should hype man them. I can't leave you out in the trench of taking grenades. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So from now on, you're going to hype man me. Yeah. I'm going to try and be more of a hype man during ads.

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All right. You know what's coming. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know about the pre-liter. I don't want to overstep the sponsor boundaries. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Not that I know them. Yeah. But you know what I mean? Yeah. I want to be more of a team player on that. Yeah. You know, hook you up a little bit.

Throw you up every now and then. You want to hook up with me a little bit? I mean, who doesn't? Let's be real. Are you going to be a douche once you hit like a million followers? Am I going to be a douche when I hit a million followers? Yeah. Hit a million followers like post.

So here's the thing. Right? I don't. I like to think I won't. Hit a million? No. I like to think I won't. Smash that follow.

Smash that fucking follow. No. Hit a like. Subscribe. Let's go. Turn on the notification bell so you notify when I post next. Hit that butt. Yeah.

No, but what a lot of people do is like they get those balloons and that I will not be doing. No. Balloons. No, not yet. They get like a one balloon and an M balloon and then they take a picture and like one million and they're wearing like Gucci in front of like a car, but you should make like a drone ask picture maybe. What?

Excuse me. Like I feel like if you hit a million, you should probably make a video with a drone. Of what? I don't know. Just get creative. Like a drone chasing me. Yeah. I don't know if I can.

It like symbolizes the millions of people following you and you're like, am I ready for this? Is this something I could really deal with? They're chasing me. And then a part of you embrace it and turns around, faces the drone. You're like, listen, I understand what you want from me now. I could take care of this. I can handle this.

And then the rest of your life is post one million. Yeah. And then also the camera will pan up and be like, what was he even running towards? Or you think I was running away from the followers the entire time. But then when I stop, when I turn around and I look at you, you can see in the background, I go out of focus, but it goes in focus and it just says dreams. So I've been running towards my dreams the entire time. And they've been following you too far.

We should write movies down on you. That was emotional. Actually, I'm really. Yeah. So I'm not going to do that either. Yeah. Yeah. That was stupid.

But yeah, people who get like the one in the M balloons, like I'm not doing that, you know, for sure. That was a one time thing. We got 200. We're going to do the balloons for every hundred. Yeah. Every hundred will be balloons. Don't think we're going to remember that.

That's going to be like two years from now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's only 52 episodes in a year. Unless one day, if we get a lot of help, we start doubling, double dipping in a week.

So how many full episodes have we done like on YouTube since like 63? No, I think before that, I think like 57. Check that. Check that. Check that. Take that. Take that. Take that.

Take that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Take that. Take that. Take that.

All right. I'm going to say 157. Oh, wow. Yeah. Well, you're wrong. Well, you're a little off. 156. 156.

Right. So we've done 44. Damn son. 44 episodes on YouTube. Full episodes. And then 12 extra episodes on the Patreon, patreon.com.gplug. Yeah. Slash the basement yard.

12 extra ones on there that only the patrons can see. Patreon.com. Slash the basement yard. Go check that shit out. Damn, dude. That's a large body of work. Yeah. I mean, it honestly hasn't felt like that many episodes.

Because we have fun doing it. Yeah. Yeah. People got mad that we yelled at each other, actually. Got mad. People thought that we were mad at each other. Yo, do you think there would be a day where we ever double dip? Like get mad at each other?

No. What? Or spit in each other's mouth. What are you getting at? Wait, what are you talking about? I don't know what you're talking about. Double dipping? I'm not spitting in your mouth.

What's double dipping? I meant like doing two episodes a week. You fucking sick freak. Oh, two episodes a week? I think at some point it'll get to there. Like we'll have like a weekend. We'll have a... Spitting in each other's mouth?

I thought, because when you spit, I thought it was like some weird sexual... No, I was doing that to be... What? Oh, like double dipping? It's like spitting? Yeah, yeah. Do you know what like oil rigging is? No.

You don't know what oil rigging is? Is that when you spit straight up in the air? No, no, no, no. It's when a girl or a guy, whatever you're into, lays on their back, but it's like their butt's up in the air. And they shit up in the air? You know how you could do that? Like how you could push your back?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like you're facing up? And they shit? No, and a guy pushes his penis down and just dips. Oh, okay. That's called oil rigging. Oh, yeah. Because that's kind of...

It kind of went double dipping. I thought it was oil rigging for a second. Oh, no. I'm not trying to... Oil rigging. I'm not trying to fuck you vertically. You know what I'm saying? Well, that's out.

Well, that's out. Now we know that. I think at some point we'll probably dabble with two episodes a week. People are going to be like, oh, God, they got to do it today! Yeah. I'm not fucking doing it. I love when people will be like, yo, where's the two hour episodes? I was like, we've never done that.

You know? The two hour episodes. How long do you think we could do an episode, though? Oh, easily four or five hours. You think we could sit here for that long? Yeah. But you ever see Joe Rogan? He does like fucking three and a half hour.

Yeah. I think we could do that because a lot of times as soon as we're done here, the conversations just carry on. Yeah. It's about, I think, you know... Making it consumable. Making it consumable. Making it a reasonable amount of time.

We're good at moving across topics. Yeah. Yeah. Some would say we don't spend it, like, even maybe a full second on a topic. We jump around like crazy. Yeah. But I think that's the essence of the show. You know?

It's like, who wants to go into, like, way too scripted of a show? Yeah, I don't. I don't like it. I don't like it. That wasn't my line. I'm sorry. I don't like that. That wasn't my line.

Yeah. So that's what me and Danny do, actually. We have a script that we write out and we study it all week. Yeah. We come on here. Every single word, phrase, hand movement is a pre-written, recorded thing. I can't even, like... It's fine.

I can't even say that, so... Yeah. No, but anyway, so I have something. It's actually, like, on a lighter note. Wanted to talk about it because I saw it on the Internet and I was like, oh, Danny's going to love this. Okay. So yeah.

It's just been a heavy episode? What's going on? No, it's just on a lighter note. I feel like, you know, if your kids were out of the room because you're like, oh, you can't really watch Danny and... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't really watch Danny and Joey. You can bring him in for this one because I think it's cool.

Bring him in. Man says... Fuck. No, but... All right, so kids are in the room. Get your back. Man says he found a frozen baby in his deceased mother's freezer. Oh.

Yeah. Wait a minute. Is this a riddle? It's not a riddle. A man found a frozen baby in his dead mom's fucking freezer. Okay. Yeah. So the mom died and the son, I guess, was cleaning out her house.

Or I think he lived there. Or actually, the story is... Oh, here's some quote. Here's a quote from Mr. Smith. Obviously. You know, a regular run of the white man. Obviously, obviously. This is a white family, by the way.

No one else puts babies in freezers. It's just us white people. I'm 37 and it has been in my freezer for 37 years and I was always told it was a wedding cake top. First of all, babies? Small, but not that small. Maybe she had a miscarriage. No.

This was a baby. Yeah, but babies. You can't put a baby on top of a cake. You ever seen that? That's what I'm saying. Clearly, this guy's an idiot. Yeah. He's a 37-year-old man who was told that it was a wedding cake top.

And believed it for 37 years. Right. Which is too long. I just feel like over 37 years you're going to do some exploring in the freezer. Yeah, like we can't take this wedding cake top out to make some room for ice cream on. Yeah. How about some frozen pops? Where's dad?

Anyway. Whose wedding was this? Where's the f-? Whose baby? Yeah. Whose baby is it? I think it was hers and it probably died, dude. No.

It was a miscarriage. No, no, no. I'm saying she had a baby. Well, she put in the fucking freezer. Yeah, it died. And then maybe she was like, I want to preserve it and like put it in there. People do weird shit. The fuck are you talking about?

People put dead bodies in freezers all the time. Yeah, I know. To like, I don't know. So do you think the mom killed this baby? I think this is a murder case here. I don't know because, I don't know. Put Horatio in the case. Yeah!

No, but seriously, man, this guy's 3070 found. And where is it? Missouri. Like... Yeah. It's the nice. Local station news first reported on a sailor with a Missouri man who said that he went through his mother's freezer after her death to find a frozen baby wrapped in a blanket. And they cannot do the baby, obviously.

Why not? Oh yeah, because it would be preserved. Wouldn't it? I guess. This is creepy, dude. Imagine going through and be like, oh, the wedding cake top, that's the size of a baby. You can't put something on a cake that big. Probably the...

How big is this cake? Wedding cakes are big, dude. But why would this be in there for so long? After a while, I'd be like, hey, ma, why don't we... Like, whose wedding is this? Because it's not going down. Why wasn't I there? I think the wedding fell through.

And wait, so the thing's been in there for 37 years? Yeah. I got a fucking... I got an idea. His dead twin. Why? Because he... He would know.

No, he wouldn't, because if you were born as a twin, the only reason you would know you were a twin is you grow up and like, oh, that's my twin. Probably died. And then she put him in the freezer? Yeah, and just reported one baby alive. They would ask questions about that. Yeah. But you don't wish your other baby.

No, but if you have a baby at home... People have home births all the time. No. This is the worst theory of all time. I think I'm right. I'm really glad you don't work for our law enforcement, because you can't crack the case here. It's very simple, Danny. How dare you?

This woman drowned a baby, killed a babe, and then threw it in the freezer. Why would you take it from hot water to cold place, water? I don't know. It shocks your system. I don't think you'd be good at law either. This isn't the law. Listen, she put a baby in the freezer. Make one for the baby in the freezer right now.

I got one. Go ahead. I got one. Baby, 37 years frozen in the freezer. Obviously, DOA. Somebody's on thin ice. Yeah! Surprise!

On thin ice. Oh, my God. Oh, man. That sucks about that baby, though. Dead baby. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Ready, man? This is so fun.

I know. Okay. Baby. We got a four-month-old baby. FOA. Frozen on arrival. I guess you could say his mother was cold-hearted. Yeah!

Cold-hearted, bitch. Alright, and I'm back. I'm back in your place. Yeah. Here I am. Now you know why I struggle with things in my upstairs place. My brain. What the fuck does that mean?

Oh, man. Everything's better. Yeah! It won't be food again! I need to put that on. We're going to get flagged, though. Why? Nah, if you have like a little...

Snip it? I'm trying to type it into YouTube. Fuck you. It's giving me the full song. Oh. Love the Who, but not right now. I'm trying to do a show for God's sake. You can't fool me for 37 years, though.

Did they find out who the baby was? You know, I didn't actually read the article. Why don't you do that? Alright. That's my frozen baby article. Alright, I got it. This is part of the script. But he knew about it since he was a kid.

Which is insane. Dude, what do you do? Oh, he said, the package had been in the freezer ever since he was a kid, but his mother always told him the package was none of his business. Oh! Yeah, because it's not his fucking baby. Or it's freezer. He said, whoa, there was a pink blanket, baby blanket,

and when I reached out and touched it, I could feel a foot. First of all, dude, if I go on a freezer, right, and I pull out like an old bag of raviolis, I'm grossed out. Yeah. If I pull out a baby, dude, good night to freezers for me. I can't use freezers now. Also, a baby's probably the last thing you expect to find in a freezer. Yeah, I'd be like, is this like an edible baby?

Like, what is this? Yeah, is it one of those like... Do we just let it thaw out or whatever? Did the baby have any, like, significant ties to him, or was it just like a stolen baby? I don't know. Because maybe the old bitch stole it. Police...

Police responded and are investigating what they consider to be a suspicious death. Oh, really, police? Yeah. Oh, good call, you fucking idiots. Yeah, unless the baby's fucking... Something about this isn't right. There's a baby in a freezer, for God's sakes. Sure.

It's suspicious, for sure. Something about this doesn't smell right. Unless that's the strongest fucking... Good fucking call. Yeah, unless that baby's part of spider. I don't know how it got in the fucking freezer. Smith said he's distraught and has so many questions. Who keeps their own child in a box for this long and never talks about it, he said.

I just have so many thoughts and it's just insane. I knew it. Whoa. What? Get the fuck out of here, you're lying. Did you read this? No. I don't know anything about it.

You brought it up. Smith said he remembers his mom once speaking about losing a child at birth and said a relative recently told him his mother gave birth to twins but lost one at birth and gave the other child up for adoption. What the fuck? Twin baby, frozen baby. Yeah! How did you get that?

What was that whole thing that you said that you don't want me to be law enforcement? No, I take back everything. I'm out here fucking cracking cases, dude. You should be the secretary of defense after that fucking call. I knew it. I knew it. No. Because here's what, if you have a baby at home, right?

Or you have twins and one of them dies, you're going to be attached to it. You might not want to bury it or maybe you killed it by accident. So you could say, oh, I gave it up for adoption. But you didn't. You put it in the freezer for a second. No, she gave one up for adoption, put the other one in the freezer for later. Dude, we're going to fucking hell. I'm going to church right after this episode.

Is church open in the afternoon? Yeah, I told you it was twins. Yeah, that's kind of wild. I have to wait for the autopsy to see if that baby ever took, just that baby is so funny. I have to wait for the autopsy to see if that baby ever took a breath and I cannot help it. I cannot help it to think she might have done something to it. I mean, she put it in the freezer, dude. Yeah.

You got your answer. Even if she did nothing and it died of natural causes, you put it in the freezer. Yeah. You can't put babies in the freezer. Also, if you're going to like freeze a baby. Yeah. If you're going to freeze a baby, 37 years seems like a too long amount of time. Yeah, I would have let it.

You know what I'm saying? There is an emotional tie to it. Obviously. It's a district one. It's a sick one. It's disgusting. Did you ever see that movie Bernie with Jack Black? No.

All right. So he like, it's based on a true story. This guy was married to this woman who was like very mean, like a very mean, like made, like treated him like shit. Nice. And he worked at a church. I don't know if he was a preacher or not, but I know he was in a church. He worked in a church.

Jack Black. Yeah. Either that or he was an undertaker, something like that. Something he worked with a church and did whatever. Yeah. He was a wrestler. Mortician. Is that what it's called?

A mortician. Right. They work with dead bodies in funeral homes. Yeah. I know he did something, but he was like a religious guy. One day he snapped and shot his wife and killed her. The mean wife. Yeah.

And put her in the freezer. Yeah. See, that's different though. And she had a lot of money too. She had a lot of money. Right. And he killed her. No, no, no.

He was single. He was single and befriended this old woman who had a lot of money. Then she like brought him in and was like, oh, he's my friend, but treated him like shit. And he killed her for the money. That's what he did. But he put her in the freezer. Yes. But that I get more because he's trying to everyone.

If you don't hear that someone's dead, you assume they're alive. So you could freeze them and be like, oh, I just hide them and like no one will just ever see them. But they'll assume she's alive until she's found it. Right. You know, so I get that. But the baby thing, like if you could just give one up for adoption and one dies, like unless you killed it, there's no reason to freeze it and like, you know what I'm saying?

I think she killed it. Well, yeah, I think this is an obvious kill job. Yeah. I think someone killed a baby here. Yeah. And then froze a baby. And then died. With a frozen baby.

Yeah. In the fridge. Never got a new fridge. Fridge never broke down. No blackouts. 37 years. You got to fucking. Yeah.

37 years to have a fridge is impressive. What company? I also think that's impossible. Yeah. Yeah. This company is making good fridges. You want to know what's weird is that now they're going to call it like fridge baby. Like, you know, the news is going to make a name for it.

Yeah. Frozen toddler. Yeah. We should stop. Yeah. What else you got? I don't know. That's all I have to say.

I'm afraid. What are you afraid of? I'm afraid of this frozen baby lady. I wanted some type of closure and I feel like I may never get any closure because my mom's gone. Yeah. Because his mom passed away. Yeah.

So I'm saying she gone. So she took it to the grave. Now this guy is going to have a horrible rest of his life because of. Yeah. Because it was fucking mom's freezer addiction. I would find the adopted twin. And ask him what? Like so you could probably see what that baby would have looked like.

Why does that matter? I don't know. Some kind of closure to know what it's going to look like. Like know what that baby would have looked like. I know not all twins are identical twins, but it'd be pretty close. Yeah, I don't know. Would you want to see the adopted baby? Dude, I don't even know if I wanted to, if I would want to know any other information.

Like if I'm the other twin, I would be like, what? Yeah. It's kind of creepy. Like imagine knowing that your twin was just thrown in a freezer for 37 years. And you got out, you were able to get adopted. Yeah, and he's got to be what, 40? Yeah. 40 something, the other twin.

That's terrifying. And then you just find out like, oh, I had a brother or sister or whatever, and it was just in a freezer next to the broccoli. I ate frozen broccoli. Yeah. That's why I said that. Yeah, he probably shouldn't. What, you're frozen broccoli? Yeah.

Why? Fresh broccoli is a lot tastier. Tastier, it's all shit. No, broccoli could taste really good, man. My mom makes bang and broccoli. Yeah, she adds stuff to it. Of course. Bright crumbs.

Yeah, it makes it nice. Yeah, it's pretty good. Fresher, the better baby. Yeah, I know. I used to pretend I was like one of those dinosaurs that had like the long necks when I would eat broccoli. Brontosaurus. And I'd be like, like I was eating a tree. You'd probably be a brontosaurus.

Why? I'm not like vegetarian. No, you kind of have like a long neck, like you have a prominent neck. No, I have a thick ass neck. But a prominent neck. Yeah, but I don't have a long neck. I got a thick neck like a triceratops or something. You'd be a triceratops.

You're all like fucking bulky and like, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have like the spine. I'm not a T-Rex though. I like to think I'm a velociraptor, but I'm not. No, no, you're not, you're not vicious enough. I'm not lean enough, you know? Yeah, I'm also not vicious.

I would say, yeah, you're probably... I'd probably be a herbivore now that I'm thinking about it. Yeah. I'm a bitch. You'd be a brontosaurus, bro. Nah. Those are huge. Keith would be one of those.

He's got a neck on him. Yeah, he's got a long neck. I don't know too many dinosaurs. Can I be a fucking pterodactyl? A pterodactyl? Yes, I'll let you do that. You know, they'll say like alligators or something or like prehistoric? Yeah.

So are they technically dinosaurs? I think so. And like turtles? And like birds? Word. Like birds, I'm sure we're prehistoric. Some of them maybe. You know?

And I heard cockroaches too. Yeah, like bugs and shit. Cockroaches can like survive like a nuclear blast or something. Do you think they'll ever be another Big Bang? What do you mean? Like a... Like... This whole shit explodes?

Yeah, because wasn't there two explosions? There was one explosion. Let me stop you. Yeah. I have no fucking idea. All right. I know of it. This is what I believe.

I know the show sucks, but I don't really know what's going on. So... There was two... There was two explosions. There was a Big Bang. No, there was one explosion that wasn't a Big Bang. Okay. But first...

Yeah. Then there was another explosion, the Big Bang, that gave birth to people. Earth, okay. And earth and shit. Now, I wonder if there'll ever be another one. Like another... Another... Big Bang.

A Gang Bang. Yeah. How about... How funny is it? I'm whispering. I don't know. How funny is it that scientists and like people come up with all these theories and whatever. Astrophysicists and shit.

I don't even know if that's right. Crazy smart... Yeah, that's right. Crazy smart people. Big Bang. Yeah. You couldn't get something cooler sounding? Big Bang?

Who named this? Your fucking three-year-old? Also, how much math do you have to do to be like, oh, oh yeah, just explode it? Yeah. How much... Yeah. You're probably looking for some crazy answer, like trying to get real deep into like religion and like...

We're gonna finally find out. It's like... Oh no. It was like... Dynamite. It was like quantum physics. It was like... It was like...

It was an explosion. Explosion. That's your answer to a math equation? Explosion? Man. See, that's when shit starts to get crazy. That would be crazy if you lived that. Like, we're gonna be dead and gone.

Like, they have like... It's crazy that they have like an actual mathematical, like, hypothesis of when like the sun will burn out. Yeah, but, uh, yeah, I don't know. Imagine, someone's gonna get cold. Someone's gonna get cold. There was an Ice Age, dude. Yeah, no sunburn, at least.

And also, the Big Bang killed the DeSource. Yeah. Peewee Herman, too. That's why the first bang made all that shit. Yeah. And then the second bang brought people to life. Bang! Bang!

Yeah, I don't know. Oh, my God. Oh, here's what I wanted to talk about. I just watched a documentary. Yes. Incredible. You should watch it, if you haven't yet. Oh, I started Euphoria, by the way.

Very good show. That show, Fire, is very good. I know, it's fucking crazy. Yes, yes. How about those titties in episode one? Yeah, I mean, the first episode, we're just for titties. I'm not gonna lie. I want to see those big fucking bomb of zooms.

But, it's actually a good show. No, it's a great show. It's like a well-acted show. All jokes aside, it's a really good show. Yeah. I really like it. Kind of makes me feel young again. Like, remembering making some of those choices.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like trying drugs for the first time. Yeah, like doing weird shit. Doing weird shit. But it's like... And like fingering people. It's informative, though. But it's filthy.

Yeah, it's gross. Like, you know what I'm saying? It's like, I wouldn't recommend that children should watch it. Absolutely not. But it's informative, I guess, for like us of shit we already did. What? I also think it's like... Does that make sense?

It also kind of sheds light on what it's like now, I guess, for some kids. Because there is like the whole transgender thing that we never dealt with. No, not on that level, no way. Like, I didn't know anybody. I didn't even know that was a thing until probably later in my life. I told you two people in my 200-person class transitioned to men. While you were in high school? No, no, no, after.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think... Like, they were at our 10-year reunion as men, which was wild. It was just crazy. Some people that I went to high school with, I think high school, have transitioned. Yeah. Have you seen them?

Not in person, but I've seen like on their Facebook, I was like, oh shit. But like, so that's like a new thing. Yeah. It has to be something and then... I'm sure it's to educate parents, too. And also like being gay is now also like... And not that it was like a... It wasn't the fucking 80s when I was being like, oh god, all the gay people have AIDS.

Yeah, don't touch me. I don't want to play basketball with you. Yeah, exactly. It wasn't like that. He's bleeding. There was some people that were gay, but it was also just like very like... There weren't that many, though. But they were also very like...

It was still like I need to be a little quiet about this sort of thing. Yeah. They were there. They weren't out. That's what I'm trying to say. It's so much different now. If you go into a high school like there's... Kids are out.

Very out gay kids and there's transgender kids and there's you know, whatever. And like that's just like a different world that we don't really know that well because you know, it's crazy to think that, you know, now when you're like 14, 15, 16 years old, you're understanding that and learning that. Being around it and like being more accepting of that, you know? So it's just kind of weird. But I do wish I had this brain when I was a kid. Because you guys think I'm dumb now.

10 years ago, 12 years ago. 10 years ago I was 20. Yikes. That just dawned on me. Yikes on a bike. Speaking of yikes. What? Jake Paul got married.

Wait, wait, wait. I wanted to just get into this. So there's a Netflix documentary. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. It's called The Great Hack. Go watch it. Is it about hacking like computers? No.

It's about how... Do you know Cambridge Analytica? Yeah. So it's a... You don't know that. Fucking knows that. Cambridge Analytica. Is it like from Cambridge?

It's from... Like an analytical team from Cambridge? Wow. You know, we should put you on the case. Yeah! No, but they basically were a company that were helping countries sway like their elections, including this one.

Okay. So what they would do... Motherfucker said you know what Cambridge Analytica is. No, because it was a very famous thing that was happening. And even I knew of the name. I didn't know what it was, but I knew of the name. No. I know like when you...

I don't know it. I'd be lying to say I know exactly what you're talking about. Right, right, right. So, but it's crazy to think like with data and your digital footprint, what people can do with that information. And now there's going to be more laws put in place like moving forward. Like I was just having this conversation with my mom. Obviously there's human rights.

You have the right to bear arms. You have the freedom of speech and all this shit, whatever the fuck. But now they're trying to make data rights. Because you, when you go on Google or Facebook or something, let me back up. Cambridge Analytica was going on your Facebook. Okay. Right.

And if you would like take some like quiz or do whatever, blah, blah, blah. So if I go like this and I'm just going, blah, blah, blah, take a quiz about a shirt. No, no, no. Forget about that. Listen, listen. So you go on Facebook, right? Yeah.

They can pull all your data. Not, they can't anymore, but they used to be able to just pull all your data and be like, okay, you're this person who does this and that. These are your interests. And you know, this is who you vote for and blah, blah, blah. That's why Zuckerberg went to court. Yeah. Right.

For all that shit. Exactly. He was directly tied into Cambridge Analytica. Yeah. And, but what they, what they would also do is anyone who you were friends with, they could just pull their information to even if they didn't go to a site or like whatever. Like if you notice now when you go on sites, there's like the cookies. And they ask you like yes or no.

Yeah, they do. And cookies is basically like, you mind if we take your info? I always say no. Yeah, me too. Cause I don't know what it is until like now I kind of do. Do you disable cookies now? I mean, if they ask me yes or no, I'll say no. But I don't know how to like get off the grid, which I don't think anyone can get off the grid.

No, we're fucked now. Yeah. Like I think you can, you can find something about anybody on the internet and it's just, it's just crazy. Like that whole thing is they had, they had like in the States in the swing States, right? They, they deemed certain people the persuadables. So people who you could dumb people. Which I don't know if it's like dumb people.

I think so. I honestly don't know what makes a person qualify as a persuadable. But I like to think it's people who, you know, sometimes they vote Democrats and sometimes they vote Republican. But what they would do is they would basically work for, let's say the Republicans. So we're working for Trump, right? We will only put out and target articles that are essentially propaganda against the Democrats. Against, well, Hillary at the time. Like all the crooked Hillary shit.

We will target these people and these persuadables in swing States with all that propaganda. Like they would send them like, Bill Clinton has sex aisle and Hillary knew about it. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, they'll get it. Yeah. Yeah, right? So they'll, so they'll always always see that. So it persuades them to be like, oh, well fuck this fuck Hillary, like, blah, blah, blah.

And I'm not, this is not trying to get political at all. It's just like crazy to think that you can change people's behavior. And propaganda is something that they said it multiple times where a lot of people don't like to believe that it works, but it does. Fuck yeah. You know, like you. You've been a victim of propaganda a million times. You can convince anyone to do anything because if they only see a certain type of view of the world, like at the end of the day, there's how many people in the world. Everyone has their own reality.

Yeah. You know, like your perception of the world is completely different than mine. And your perception is a reality. So if you only see this, like this, like people who grew up Amish. Right. They're not growing up thinking like, oh man, I wish I had an iPhone right now because they just don't know. What was that M Night Shyamalan movie? The Village.

The Village. Yeah. So it would be like that. Yeah. So it's like, your perception is reality. So it's just like, it's just wild to think that, you know, they can do that. And then there was all these claims that I don't know how fucking true all it is or whatever you can watch it and kind of, you know, see for yourself. They were saying there were Russian people or whoever that were Russian making Black Lives Matter pages on Facebook and even setting up rallies that people would show up to and like rally for the Black Lives Matter movement.

Really? But they would also do it for the Blue Lives Matter, which is the cops. The cops, yeah. So they would also do the same thing for that. Blue in the blank. So it's being dividing and conquering. Yeah. So when you divide the people and then you feed all this propaganda that is Republican or whatever or against whatever, you can get what you want.

Isn't it like pirate theory? I don't know. Pirate theory. Yeah. I don't know. But it's just wild. Like all, you have to watch it. Like I'm not doing it justice.

No, they're watching tonight. Yeah. It's super like holy shit. Like this is crazy. I have, I watch it after I go to the game for sure. It was wild. I watched it and I was like, well, I kept rewinding it because I was just like, this is incredible. Yeah.

You know? Is it one of those Netflix things you can't be on your phone when you're watching it? No. Because you honestly won't want to because it's very, you're like honed into it because they do a really good job. All that stuff scares me. Well, that's the thing. It's like you're not on that level. Like, yo, like if you like see what I jerk off to, it's like not going to, not the end of the world to me.

No, but it's not about the individual. It's about the masses. That's what I'm more afraid of. You can control the world with data. And that's why there needs to be data rights. So I was going to say this, do you think that they should upgrade the Constitution? Well, that's what essentially, I mean, the Constitution is just a fucking piece of paper from how long ago. Yeah, motherfuckers rock out hard for that.

Yeah, but I'm saying, yeah, but I'm saying like the right for gay people to get married. Like that's something that's very new. But should I be a constitutional right? Yeah, I think so. Is it? I don't even know. Is it not? No, it's not. But whatever, I don't fucking know.

But I think just making these things like there has to be that because if a company or if someone who's powerful can just pay a company like Cambridge Analytica, which no longer exists, money. They got dissolved? Well, yeah, what they were doing is fucking illegal. I know, I know. But like, I feel like sometimes those are like fronts and like they break off into like micro companies. Well, they like as this was happening, the investigation, I believe they went like they filed bankruptcy and like when they think they think it was because it was they were trying to like hide some shit, but they still like, you know, whatever. But they, I don't want to talk about Jake Wall anymore. I want to talk about this.

This is way more interesting. Yeah, no, it's just it's just wild because it's just it's just crazy to think that with data and all this, the analytics and everything. Because a lot of what we do is analytic based also. All of it is. Okay. Like when, just to give you like to pull back the curtain a little bit, like a sponsor of the show will ask for your analytics because a company will be like, okay, we sell perfumes. So it's strictly perfumes. So if you have an 80% male audience, like we're just not going to sponsor on your show because there's no reason to to market to 20% female.

No, it's perfumes for females. Yeah. You know, so that's kind of like the very small end of it. But what they're doing is getting information that is just like. Fast. Wild. Yeah, like everywhere, like where you shop, where this and where that and like all this stuff is valuable, like super valuable, you know, to anybody, you know, and especially in elections. There's there's a there's a legal way to do it because at the end of the day, there's it's not all like terrible.

Like there's a legal way to do it and there's like an illegal way to do it. But the legal way is it has to be like anonymous. Like you have you can have information of like, okay, in this area of of Queens. Dudes love buying Corona light. Right. Right. But it's not like Joe Schmo loves Corona light. So let's go at his boys.

Yeah. And make like this, this micro community so we can get them to like without them even know without them even knowing that's getting all that information from them. Like, oh, I know I've seen this, I've seen that. And in Cambridge Analytica was even able to get a hold of private messages. Yes, that's fucked up. If you were talking about something in private, like they were able to know that. Yeah. And it's just wild.

They had like over 500 points of data on a single person, which could be anything. Now is part of that our faults. Yes and no, like to like contributing to it. Yes. But it's also how the world works now. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Yes.

No, it is our fault because technically do you need to go on the internet? No. But like, do I have to say like, oh, I love fucking so and so the Yankees. Like, you know, like I don't have to tell them everything I like, but like for some reason I have to. Wait, what? It's like you go out there and like, are they doing it because they ask you certain questions to steer you to an answer? No, they could just track you. A lot of a lot of websites have this thing like pixels, right?

So if you go to the website and I believe now you have to like grant access for this to happen. But if you go to their website, they can they now have your information of like who you are. Like, how did you get there? I went from Google. I searched for shirts. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then I went to this site and then I left that site and went there and then whatever. So when you get to that site, I have the information.

I don't know it's you, but I just know a person who made that path did that. So I can take that and like put money behind an ad to sell to people like you. Yeah. Because if you got to my site, somehow it intrigued you. Some people who make the same path as you, they will also be intrigued. Yeah. So we can target you. You know what I'm saying?

And then that content is easily shareable too. Yeah. And it's just, it's just crazy. Like if you ever see when and then some sites have it, like I remember, I forgot the site, but I went to go buy a shirt, but it was in my cart and then I got an email and it was the picture of the shirt. I was like, Hey man, you were going to buy this shirt, but you didn't. Yeah, I hate that.

And it's like, I didn't buy the shirt. Leave me alone. So how did I, but how did they send it to me? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I must have clicked something or enter your email like partially. I don't know to like check out, but then you're like, I don't want this fucking thing. Yeah.

But it's, and then it's like, what the fuck? Or you get random emails from people who you don't know, not people, but like companies that you don't know. And you're like, the fuck even is this? Like those random emails where it's like, I'm a prince from the Saudi Arabia and I have $5 million that I want to give you. And you're like, what the fuck? Like where did they get your email?

And people, but people pay for those lists. Oh, they sell them. Yeah. I think it's big time. Right. And that is legal, I believe to sell like, I think like Sprint sells them. I don't know, but that, that kind of shit is why I changed my phone number like every three years.

Well, what I'm saying is like that, that's why there needs to be like data rights where it's like, okay, what is allowed and what is not allowed? Because I think that it, it's a, it's intrusive to, what would be on your data rights? I think I should, I should be able to let you know if I want to be tracked personally. Okay. I don't mind you making a lookalike audience. There's nothing wrong with that in my opinion. I think if you go to a website and you know that I'm a sports fan, that's general.

Yeah. There's millions of people that love sports, but if you know that, if you know my name, my address, my email, which sports teams I'm fans of, how to contact me, what music I listen to, how to contact me and all this information, how I'm old, I am, what's my ethnicity and like all this shit. If you know all that. My fucking address. Yeah.

Like all that shit. I think that's very intrusive. But if you want to be like, this is a, a mail from New York into sports, into whatever. This age demographic. Whatever. Like that is, that's fine. Or if it's, if it's a way of me, if I put in my information, like me doing it, that's different.

Voluntarily. Then you can. Then you can be like, oh, okay. Like if you have a clothing company and for whatever reason, you know, you're in the U.S. but people from Sweden just like fuck with your shit and you buy a bunch of shit. Like, okay, cool. Let's just market to 18 to 24 year olds from Sweden. Yeah.

Like that is just a smart business move to me. Yeah. That's just a geo targeted ad. But doing it in a way where it's like, it's kind of, then it gets creepy. Yeah. Let's, let's hit up everyone named Joe. Yeah. I don't know.

That's scary. It's just like wild to think about all that, but the documentary, like again, I'm not like really doing it justice at all, but it's just very fucking interesting to see. And Zuckerberg knew about all that shit. I have no idea. He's a weird dude. He's a weird dude. I do think that it gets some ribs.

You ever see that video? Yeah. We're just slow cooking some ribs out here on the big green egg. I think, uh, I think it gets weird because I think when Facebook was like made all this analytic stuff was not really a thing, like it wasn't really expected that you were going to get all these points. Oh no. Fuck no.

It needed the audience first. Right. So anyone would pay for that. You know, once they started paying for it, they were like, Oh, we'll pay fucking billions of dollars for this list or to, to, because you know, Facebook has billions of users. Oh yeah. Direct connection to all these people and what their interests are in like all this shit. And then via interest, everyone's connected.

Yeah. Somehow. Like what's that? Like eight degrees of Kevin Bacon or that game or something. What? Like you kid of separation, you know, what is it the six degrees of separation? There's a game called six degrees of Kevin Bacon that between six things that we talk about, you can get back to Kevin Bacon.

Kevin Bacon. Yeah. Our mutual interest. Okay. That's mad. Random. No, but that's, that's kind of what they're using. I guess.

I can't believe you never played that game. No. No. All right. So can I look up the rules? Six degrees of Kevin Bacon. Yes. I don't know, man, let's see.

How long is this documentary by the way? It's almost two hours. Six degrees of Kevin Bacon or Bacon's Law is called is a parlor game based on six degrees separation concept, which post sites that any two people on earth are six or fewer acquaintances, acquaintance links apart, six or less acquaintance links apart. Movie buffs challenge each other to find the shortest path between an arbitrary actor and prolific actor, Kevin Bacon. So like they'll do that.

Like it's for us to be like, you know, somebody that we know it's only going to take four or five people for them to get a direct link to you, which is kind of scary. I mean, yeah, yes and no. I mean, I don't know. It's a definition of I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy. Yeah. And when you think about it, like think about how many people I can get in contact with if I really, like if everyone said yes.

Yeah. I can get in contact with maybe anybody. Yes. Easily. Yeah. Like if everyone had to say yes, like I could talk to the president if I needed to. Probably. Probably.

Because you know at least one person who you're like, this dude's like super well connected, probably knows like, you know, somebody. Yeah. Who knows somebody? Dude, and I know somebody. There's two people I know and you know one of them, but there's two people I know that it would probably only take two or three people to get to that. And then one of those people like probably has them in their cell phone.

Yeah. Like easily. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. It would either be like one degree. Yeah. Like the person and then the person or it would be like the person, person, person, but it would never go further than that just because of these two people.

Yeah. That's wild to think about. Yeah, man. You're probably like, I could be connected like, well. Like that. And to go even further, anyone who knows me personally, it's just one more link. Yes. Like, oh, I know Joey, he knows them and boom, boom.

And then. So as close as you are, they're just as close. Exactly. And the person behind them is just as close. Yeah. That's what's creepy. My friend's child will be close to pretty much anybody. Yeah.

Just has to ask. This is blowing my mind. Yeah, man. You should really look into like six degrees of separation. It's crazy. Yeah. I mean, I'll never, I'll never use any of that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It's one of those things. Yeah. And if he's listening, I will for sure. 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, what? I'll use that.

Rolodex. Oh, the one that we both know. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'll use him and abuse him. I'll use him and abuse him.

Yeah. You know, like we'll bring up people to this guy and it'll be like, oh, yeah, first name basis. Yeah. It's like, oh, you guys got nicknames. Fuck you. Yeah. Yeah.

It's pretty wild. Yeah. And you actually know the other one that I'm talking about. I could think. I'll guess it when we, when we, you know, you'll know who it is, but he'll, he'll like in passing. Be like, yes, you know, uh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, so we, we'll be talking and it should be like, yeah. So I was at dinner or kennel in general. It was just like, it was just, I was like, you want to back up on that and not just say that and then also, I don't want to say it because it gives it away. Forget it. Nevermind. Yeah. Nevermind.

Yeah. All I know is you go watch that fucking documentary because it's fire and also this, we're a lot closer to each other than, than we think. Not you and I, I mean people in general. this neighborhood that you grew up in and lived in. Yeah. Everybody knows everybody. Yeah.

Because they'll know a mutual person. Right. Scary, I think. Think about Manhattan. Think about how many people you're connected to just in this city via your phone. I wonder how many people I'm connected to in Manhattan with like, like-

One click of a button? No, one person, right? Like let's say it was, it's not you, but like let's say like you're one person. So it's like, oh, I know this person. And then it was just the people who they know. And then I would count as knowing them. Yeah.

I wonder how many people I would know in Manhattan. Millions. It's just insane. It would never stop. It's so weird to think about. Yeah. Yet you walk around and you never- No, you don't know anybody.

And you see people and you're like, never see that guy again. Yeah. It's crazy. It even gets crazier too, like people that like went to college together. Like people that like- Yeah, you went to a big college.

And then you're automatically linked to all these people. But you're in like a frat. They have that like fucking Rolodex email. That's what I'm saying. With like Peyton Manning's emails in there or something. Yeah, like you get to go because like you were like in Skull and Crossbones for like three months. Yeah, you were like a Freemason or something.

Yeah, it's fucking scary, dude. There's so much shit out there that's scary that we have no idea about. And I really don't want to know about it. No, I don't either. I just like having fun being an idiot. Yeah, I just want to be dumb and everyone perceived me as dumb.

I just want to be silly. Yeah. You know? Start with that stash. I'm going to shave this stash into my face and go be silly in the goddamn Hamptons. That's going to be great. Hampton boys.

Hampton boys, Hampton stashes, open shirts, getting burnt, living life. Oh, I've also- Glass of whiskey, denim jeans. Glass of whiskey, glass of seltzer. I'm going to be, you know, I haven't eaten meat in two weeks. I just feel bad for you.

I feel better though. I lost six pounds. Nice. I mean, of course you would feel better. Yeah. So like, I haven't eaten any red meat, no chicken, nothing, cold cuts, none of that shit. I've had some sushi.

I just crushed cold cuts yesterday. Yeah, I saw you eat that sandwich earlier today. Oh, just nae. Earlier today. Just nae. I wanted to crush that sandwich. Just nae. What time are we at?

Hour 20. Hour 20. Is there anything else you want to talk about? I really have nothing off the top of my head, to be honest. I wanted to talk about Jake Paul's wedding, but I really don't. I'm good on that.

Yeah. There's nothing really interesting. It's obviously a fake wedding. Yeah, that's where I was going to get to. I don't want to shed any light on it. It's weird, like the lengths people are willing to go. That's all I'll say about it. Yeah, let's not start, you know.

It's like I get you're like trying to be extravagant and bring some attention to yourself, but like getting married. You're just shitting all over something that's supposed to be like sacred and people die for it. Yeah. And for the right to get married and you just do it because you can do it.

Privilege. Sorry, but um. Yeah, man. Anyway. A little bit of white privilege, but uh. Just a whole mess of it. A whole mess of it. A whole jar of it.

A whole jar of it. Uh. Yeah! I love how like we're becoming conspiracy theorists, I think on the show. Why? Because I think we're embracing. I feel like years ago, I'd be like, no, there's no way.

And now I'm gonna just be set like that. Now I could be swayed. I'm a persuadable. God damn it, they got me. Fucking wrap the show up. I don't even want to say my Instagram handle because you don't find me. Ha ha ha!

You can find that at S. Don't worry about it. Take daddy for real. Pellegrino poppy oven is bitch. God bless you. Thank you. They didn't mean the burp actually just came out. Anyway guys, that is all for this week's episode.

Again, I don't know if you said this on the last episode. Actually what? This is 202. Yeah. Yeah. I was gonna say thanks for 200 episodes because of the thing. Yeah. Forget it guys, you're good.

Thank you so much for that. Thank you to all the patrons for sticking with the boys. Yeah man, we appreciate the patrons so much. Yeah, and we're gonna start churning out a little more content for you. It's been a little crazy turnover here getting the other shows up and going, but we didn't forget about you homies.

We're gonna bless y'all with some shit. Yeah. Where can they find you? Add to the little priority on Instagram and Twitter. Want to just give out your address because it's already gonna be found. You guys can follow me on social media, Joe Sanagato, go follow the show at the Basement Yard.

Go check out the Stank and Other People's Lives, which are the other shows on Sanagato Studios podcast network, all right? Go check those out guys on iTunes, SoundCloud, Spotify, you know, wherever. And the Patreon, again, thank you so much to our patrons. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. You get every episode a week early

and you get extra content from me and Danny. All right, so go check that out and that is all. See you guys next time. Yeah!