The Basement Yard - #205 - Are You In Love?

Episode Date: September 2, 2019

On this episode, we discuss if Joe's actually a mean person, we answer questions about love and if we could beat up Jesus. Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. How you doing date? What's up? How's it going date? How you doing? How's your mother? She's good. She's good. She's good. Yeah, she's what my mother at church. No, why yeah, I didn't go I don't open my eyes too much today. So I'll see a lot, you know, you know, they say Believe you know half what you hear none of what they say, you know I'm saying and only a quarter of what you see and and 10% of what you thought you heard That's what they say What are we doing? Street talk. Yeah, I don't know what we're doing talking from the street talking from the street. Yeah, okay

Anyway, I believe that we have some I got a lot going on. Yeah, what's going on? No, but I think we have something to settle. Yeah, you want the dinner without me No, I mean, yeah, I did you went to dinner without me. Yeah Didn't think I don't think I'd be there at my favorite place to eat Why but like I Don't understand this. What don't you understand? There's not much to understand that I well, you're mad at you were mad at me before that, too Yeah, cuz cuz I made you come in. Well, I didn't make you you made it seem like I made you come in for work after you in the hospital I know you

You would have thought of me a certain way if I did not arrive for work the next day What does that even mean cuz I know you have what is it? Expectations, okay Expectations, you know, why are you adding letters to that word? I don't expect that that was an actual accident. Yeah Didn't add any extra acts in there. Yeah, but no, it's like, you know, there's like a you do a very like You speak with like without speaking I'm saying like telepathically. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a magician. Yeah, I'm a hip Who asked anybody that you know you have a good way of speaking without speaking like my eyes say words

Yes, your eyes say words. What are they saying now? Your emojis say words my emojis. You're your abbreviations say words What are what's lol? Life out loud. No, no, I know what it means you asshole, but what does it mean like an acronym? It's an acronym. Yeah you speak fucking Sentences with acronyms Does that make sense? No, this last the last 30 seconds. I feel like you're having a stroke or not

All right, I'm right. So you say things with your I know is that if I didn't show up Would it look a little funny in your eyes? You would have looked at me differently. Oh really? Yeah Here's what actually fucking happened before you went on your little tirade and like this like Joe's an asshole thing Whoa, whoa, whoa first of all, that's exactly what happens first of all Yeah, that's why you're smiling you fucking asshole. Here's what actually happened. Danny was in the hospital for whatever Elevated blood sugars. Yeah shit was skyrocketing into God knows where I don't want to say how high it was because it was embarrassing How high it was it was pretty high. It was over 400. Yeah, it was it. Yeah, which is which is dangerous

That's dangerous levels of blood sugar, right? So when that happens, you should go to the hospital. Absolutely You should which you told me what your levels are. I was like dude go to the fucking He didn't say that I will give him that then while Will's in the hospital good use of will or whilst whilst. I don't Whilst will sing shit. I don't know Will Smith. Yeah, that's better. I like that So will Smith he was in the hospital. Yeah, he facetimes me and he's laying on a fucking Stretcher or whatever the fuck and he's like, you know, they're taking my blood. I just need you to distract me I don't like to look at my blood get taken out

That's fine. That's besides the point the whole point of me bringing that up is that at the end of that conversation You're like, you know, it's all good. I'll just be in tomorrow. I'm like, all right. Yeah, but when people say that they expect something back Yeah, it's reverse cycle. Oh, did you? I mean if I were you I've been like, yo, bro No, you were convincing you were not like going out on your shield like Side this time kind of thing like you weren't like that didn't make any sense either No, you weren't like no what I'm saying is you weren't trying to be like a warrior like oh man like, you know But I'll be in man. I promise I will like you weren't saying like that. I'm not gonna say I promise you that's weird

No, I promise but you know I'm saying like look at look at my tone. Watch and I say this right all right Hold on. I'm just listening. I'm calling ready like Yo, I'll be in tomorrow don't worry about it like I'll figure it out. I'll be in don't worry like we'll get everything done That's a desperate man trying to make me happy. That's pretty convincing. You know what I'm saying It's pretty convincing see that's a desperate man trying to make me happy You were just like fucking around telling jokes fucking with the nurse and then you were like oh, yo Like I'll be in like don't like this is like whatever. I'm fine. I'm like, all right If I had gotten the vibe that you were hurting I

Would I wouldn't And then what happens and then you go on this rant this fake fucking rant on Whatever The next day when he's in work and he's like and butch by the way he was totally fine. Yeah, I was fine and then And then he leaves after I didn't ask him to stay he stays did I? Yeah, you did no, I guess you did for what because it was a Oh a Wednesday, I went to hospital Thursday. We shoot the stank for shirt and then

Frankie left and I was going to leave and you're like, you know, you're just gonna shoot and then just leave We got stuff. We got to get done. That's when I started. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I did say that You know why because it was 230 But coming off of the hospital, I would have been like, you know what kid was in the hospital last night I'm gonna let him slide. I'm gonna get her. I may be even call him a car myself. You know, get him out of here What I don't know, that's how I think. Oh, yeah, I bet you do you know, you were fine No, I am an extremely thoughtful person. So don't even say that I'm not and I'm not oh Here we go. No, I'm not saying no you are we were very business-oriented

Danny in what world do you actually think that I would I don't know you shit that you went to the hospital I don't know you scare me sometimes. Oh Think no, it's not we're trying to set the record straight and you're perpetuating. No, I'm not I'm not perpetuating a joke You could be kind of scary sometimes. I'm not a scary man. You're not a scary man. You have a scary aura. You're very serious You know what I'm saying remember how you say you want to be more goofy or serious man. Hey, I'm silly. I'm silly. All right So what I took it as I said, you know when I go to the hospital I'm thinking about I got responsibilities. I'm not thinking if I live or die I say I got I got I got like you said go out on the ship. I said, you know, I know what it is

I got to let him know because I owe it to him. This is bullshit. Well, I'm not that's not you're you're in the hospital I owe it to you to let you know where I was and you're not thinking if you live or die and you're like I should get to go home and edit. No, what I'm saying was is that we had to film a show the next day and my understanding of my sick brain was That I'll go shoot the show then I'll go home and catch up on some rest Joe Did not let me go home Right That's where it started. That's where the joke started. Well, it no, you know why deal at yo, and don't lie and don't I'm not

I won't do not you're you're scared guys. Listen Do not lie That day, uh-huh. Were you struggling was there anything even remotely off about you? I was a little tired, but I wasn't anything else but tired because you were in the hospital late Yeah, not because you're physically ill. I was in the hospital late with tubes in my arms. Yes, okay So when you show up at noon, yeah, and then shoot a show for an hour and a half two hours And that nope it was our 48 minutes around and up today Rounded up and then you do that the IRS could be watching. I need these hours

And then you do that and then you're you were gonna leave so I was like, yeah, we're like editing No, you said it in a meaner boss Joe boss Joe That's who it was because you were like this you were sprightly you were young and shining and you were like, oh, yes I'm having a good day. Okay. I will admit that. Will you admit this you're when boss Joe's scared? Yes No, I'm not gonna say I said yeah You are boss Joe's scary. I will admit that I did say it in a way of like cuz I was like, what are you doing? It was very boss. It was no I'm yo, and you better tell the truth, too. I will tell the truth. I'm not that dude. I know you're not but

I'll say I'll save your reputation today. I promise so all right, so Here's here's his deal We've talked about this before Joe very driven man I admire it a lot. He's taught me a lot about being driven myself, which I appreciate But all the but but the way that he said it was almost like I don't care what happened to you last night. No The tonality of your voice Was kind of like no, where are you going? And then I was like, ah, it was and you were not like no, no, no, but inside I was that's fine

But the reason why I don't think you left you were trying to leave because of the hospital That's how well you were. No, I was tired. But whatever but but the reason why You were gonna leave And I think I'm pretty sure we had this conversation immediately when I was like why are you leaving? We have to like edit stuff and you're like, oh, we're like super ahead Yeah, and I'm like, but what does that mean? Like we still can like That was an excuse because I was tired I'll admit that. Okay. Now I'm supposed to read your fucking mind. No, I'm just out. I'm just out here because if I would have told you

Yo, also, I'm never gonna say to you. Yeah, I'm tired from the hospital, man Because then you're gonna be like, oh, I think you're gonna feel like a terrible person Which you are People are gonna make are gonna think no they're not dude. No, you're not No, I know a lot of people get the joke but there's people don't and I get messages sometimes I get them all the time when I post like, yeah, I got a bunch because I know that People legitimately think you're a piece of shit And it's and it's like it's one of my favorite things to do

And it's like Even after today It's still gonna go on Because people love me that much. So what I'm gonna say is this Joe very very great Gracious man to work for But sometimes his tongue gets a little bossy and scary

So sometimes it could be egg shelly, you know, he laughs at you What? He lol's you your lol's have to fucking stop. Okay the lol I'll say I do Yeah, I could you know because you want to know what it is is undermining. Listen like if I come to you and I Could Joe be like, yo man like we need no, no, no, no, no, no, let me finish never happened No, because you're gonna fucking lie. No, I'm not gonna lie. And if I will let me finish my statement I love let me finish my statement. You try to finish you try to like save me and then you immediately I'm just saying we're just speaking the truth here. You could tell them about how I'm late all the time

I know that bothers you deep down in your core Good does that bother you deep down in your core? No You get your work done. That's true I'll tell you what I take it back. Oh, you know what? I'll tell you what bothers me. Come on Yeah, come on. Yeah, come on. My uncle used to say it all the time. I thought that was like German No, no, come on. Give it to me. It's relax. Uh, I'll tell you what does hit me Don't hit me. You probably will see this is the joke The the joke about man. Joey works me to the bone. That bothers you. Oh, no, it doesn't bother me. It doesn't bother me

It's just that If people know How lenient it is over here Yeah, there's literally none of that. I know it's it's super lenient. We have an amazing time doing the show but You like sometimes you gotta steer the ship. I know that I get but that's the thing That's what you're supposed to do what I'm too lenient. So sometimes you stray. No, but here's the thing

I gotta rope you back in. Yeah, but there's sometimes it's not even my fault If you have a bad weekend like eating and drinking or something It's like I got around I got a man all the ships. You're like, I'm going to the gym at six o'clock I'm gonna read a book in the park. I'm gonna tell you what to do. We're doing all this So then it's like it was like when you were young and your parents would hit one kid and hit you just to set a principle Yeah, no, you know, I won't agree to that That's all that's all that's the only thing. So one time This also happened. I'm gonna tell this story on here

We were watching something out here and You said something about editing the show like snarky little smart comment from the boy And I locked myself in that room and I stayed here until it was done. Do you remember that? Yeah, oh, yeah, I know what that was. Yeah, and you know what that was and this is what this is what Danny I love the beginning of this. It's just so like people are like, what the fuck is this podcast? But what happens is Danny

I'll be like, yo, let's do this, right? Look at man in the eyes for you. I'm looking at the people because I'm trying to have a fucking thing You already know this is true. I don't have to look into your soul. So you'll never come out Yeah You'll never get out never get out Well, we'll agree to something. Yes. I'd be like, yo, this has to be done this day or whatever, right? Or like we're trying to get ahead like we'll have a talk that day and be like, yo, let's try and like, you know, whatever then

uh In the middle of the day, daniel just do whatever he wants Because he's like, you know what? I'll just like do it at home or I'll do it like whatever. Okay. I've been guilty of that See how willing I am to say I'm I'm it's true. You don't have to admit anything. It is fact. No, I could fight it Get ahead and fight fact. I'm not fighting and then what happened that specific time And I remember it being so ridiculous because he literally like a child. I brought up. I'm like He was like watching something. There's other people here too, which was fucked up Huh, there's other people here. Sexy peat was here. You fucking alpha dog made. I did not I did not do that

No, you overreacted because you gotta get peat peat peat knows finish I did not overreact. I got my work done Danny You I I I said I said in a very normal tone People are gonna love this by the way. I said people aren't gonna like this. They're gonna love it. I don't think they are I said in a very normal tone like

That you said you were gonna edit the show or some or something like that right or you might have made a comment of like He's got me here like all like late tonight, and I'm like you're watching football Oh, well also another thing you do is you walk away as you tell people what to do Like you what I said I walked down this hallway and then once you did that I said, you know what I'm gonna go in there I went to the bathroom. I don't think so I did because I remember because when I can because I heard you I ran from you ran from me I said it to you and then walked away. How's that running? Turned you back on me. Also Danny went into the room. No, no, no, no. Here's what happened because I remember

Yeah, I don't remember that. Well, I remember this. No, no, no. Oh, I'm so glad I remember thank you But you made a comment that like oh, he's got me here late tonight or something like that, right? And then I was like, yo, you you said because you are the one who said to me You're like, I'm gonna have this done by today At like five o'clock or something you had said that and I was like, okay, like whatever I I didn't put those things that that wasn't a deadline. I didn't put a time on it I know what you're saying though and then I was like, all right, cool So he's watching football and shit

And then I'm and then I'm like and then you made a comment towards me and then that's why I said like oh Yeah, and you were gonna edit like what you were gonna edit the whole show today and that didn't happen And then You went into that room because I remember I didn't say you needed it done And I was gonna go into the room and be like, yo, you're overreacting like you don't have to do the whole I remember what happened You messed up the facts the facts was how much time of it was done And you asked me, yo, how much was done and I was like 30 minutes and you were like, yo 30 minutes like you were here for like four hours

Yeah, yo, you were you that's what happened. He was on his computer. I'll call myself You were on he was on his computer for like five hours and he did no, no, no, that's what it was You're like, I'm gonna finish this today. He did he 15 minutes was already done He goes in there and I'm like how far along are you after like four hours 19 minutes I was like there's more than that it's close though And that's when you were watching football and that's I was like, yo, how much of it is done and you're like 20 minutes But here's the other thing though. It's like I wasn't watching football. I wasn't spread eagle. Like it was gonna be a good game I was saying hello to Pete. No, no, no, you were watching and no

Hello, hey, Pete. How you doing? You were sitting down on the couch. You were watching the game And I also I did fulfill all my promise. I did I did finish that day Yeah, but you spitefully did that like a child How did I literally do it literally locked the door so I couldn't get into the office I was working man. Yeah, you locked the door because you're like, oh, I get I get scared sometimes No, you were being a spiteful little bitch and you know it Yeah, all right. That's what he does. Listen, I'll come clean. I'll come clean. So how is that my fault? I'm not saying it's your fault. What I'm saying is is that in front of company

It's awkward when you come at me. I'd never go at you for a company. You make jokes You make jokes too. You do these jokes. Oh my gosh. Listen on days where you're like No, no, no, no What's that from again? Oh, cinnamon and gravy Prospector I ain't going into battle with his stinky old man Oh, cinnamon gravy cinnamon and gravy

No, but when you when you're in the in that room for however long and you tell me like, yo, I'm gonna edit it and then you do like 17 minutes. I'm like What is that? And then and that's why I said that and at no point did I say you had to do more Or did I say that you had to finish it? But but since you got upset because you knew you were wrong you had a guilty conscience You went in there locked the door and finished it to be like here That's what you did and that's not my fault

Okay I'm a good person. I'm not saying that you're a fantastic man. I'm joking. You're a fantastic man It's just that the people sometimes I will say maybe maybe I've marked, you know, I've marked your image a little bit. I was maybe oh, yeah a bit Maybe people think I'm fucking Mussolini over here. No, but what what it is is that you know I'm the people's champ. You know that. Yeah, of course, but my thing is this my thing is this is that A party you hate that. No, I don't I swear to God. I really don't because I won't do shit like that. No, no, no No, no, no, no, no, I like it like now I'm being like sincere. So am I

Yeah, it's shit, but sincerely though. No, no, no, I love from the day that we've met I've said, yo, if there's ever you could always tell me Yo, not even one percent, but But I've said this from the beginning. I like that. Right, but you have to admit this will never change. No, no, no, no No, I hate you But the thing you have to understand is that there are different versions of Joe though So it's like, you know that movie with James McAvoy where he plays like nine people Yeah, that's what dealing with you is like sometimes because it's like sometimes your energy's super high

Sometimes it's low. Sometimes you're mad weirdly quiet. And then like sometimes you're like like very like uh like Pro not prolific, but like prophetic. Is that a word prophesize? You got two more syllables for me. Like prophesize. You're like, yo, this is like what I want to do And then some days you're like, yo, this is like the leisure. So like I'm like, where am I going today? Yeah, like mentally, right? Who am I coming to see? You know, and I can tell what's in the first two minutes who I'm getting right. So like who'd you get today? High energy Joe. Nice. And it was actually a mix of like

like uh Boss Joe, but like Boss Joe is like a collective. Right, you know, it was it was a nice feeling. I felt included I felt part of the team today You know, yeah So that's one thing that you that you do. Yeah, so you got to give me a little bit of leeway on that Because I'm usually the same most of the time I mean, I'm a goddamn fucking idiot, but I'm the same way most of the time listen

What we just talked about right now And the joke are different things though. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah for sure for sure. That's why I'm saying speaking to sincerely Well, you make jokes to me. I laugh right, but when I do the joke back to you sort of You lock yourself in a room and edit the whole show to spite me because here's here's why it's not to spite you is that I've Notice that you can be passive aggressors sometimes, but I wasn't being passive aggressive See, that's where the miseduc- the miseducation the miscommunication was is that I thought you were being passive aggressive

No, so I said this kid really wants me to do this I'm gonna go fucking do it then not it do it if I really really wanted you to do it I'd be like do we have to get this done? Of course, of course, but I would never be like Oh, well, I guess it's not happening Things don't get done that way. That's true. Most people don't lock themselves in the room and do it You know what I'm saying? All I'm saying is I think since then We've we've improved In terms of work rate. I think I think we've got I've got better. You've done that a couple times though. What?

Spitefully edit. I'll spy. Fuck it. No, not fuck me. No, like no, that's what I mean You'll spy. Fuck the show. I'll spike. Yeah, I'll spy. Fuck the show to spike it Fuck it spike it I'll spike fuck the show. Yeah, but that's just a show that you know us the little people we have power Who is us the little people the little people out there? Oh god, you know not all those fucking god ivory towers Who's got an ivory tower everything in here is white everything in here is white including you You're a good-looking white man

Which I'll give you that nice. All right, so that's why I keep coming back to you. I can't quit you can't quit me No, what I don't want you to know what but I like to prolong the jokes with slides like Slides, yeah, I guess they're slides right on instagram slides like slides being like, you know, I don't know if I could do this anymore Yeah, like that shit's hilarious. I love that stuff. See Someone one of my friends actually was like, you know, I'm joking. Yeah, obviously. All right I'm here. I don't know. I don't know if it's worth it It's literally if anyone takes me seriously looking out the window of an uber and then posting something that says Yo, honestly, is the fame

worth Basically you being mean to me the abuse. Yeah. Yeah. I was like is is the is the fame and the wealth Worth the abuse fame and well and then mad people hit me up. They're like, yeah, it's like it's not worth it. Yeah I think I love like when people will be like yo, man like Yo, you're there. You are the show. Don't leave. I'm like, yeah, like like I'm somewhere just being like Yeah, yeah Yeah, he's right. Just so I can scroll into the thing. I'm gonna start my own thing

So like the replies are fun. The reason yeah, someone said that. Yeah, but then there's also funny Like people were calling me a pussy like it was funny. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I have to how would people not know this? I have some screenshots. Hold up. Like those are obviously like jokes. One was stop being a puss Don't be a puss Stop being so dramatic Why's joe so mean to you? What the fuck are you talking about? It's another one. Oh, and this was the other one. Um I feel bad for the people that sent me really long messages. That's who I wanted

That's who I want to apologize to damn. They wrote like long like inspire like not inspiring but like motivating things and like All right, you want to hear one? This is like a long one. All right. Don't say the name. No, no, no, no, no, no Just saw your recent post Danny Just wanted to say I've been following you since your vine days and watching and listening to you You have always been the best. Thank you I feel the basement yard would not be the same without you Me too, uh because of how much effort and work you put into it He's fucking I his eyes just goes

He's like, I'm a fucking kill this guy and then he goes will not be the same without you, which I completely agree with 100% I think and then keep on making us laugh And I was like, you know what that was really nice. Yeah, but it's all in false pretenses. Yeah, sorry lady But it was a guy actually. Oh, sorry, dude. Yeah But like and then like everyone was like, please don't quit the show That's so funny, man We should revisit this in a year though. Like yeah, yeah for sure for sure You know what? I'm gonna say right now. Yeah, I'm gonna fake quit the show one day. Oh, yeah, absolutely

And I'm giving everyone a clue right now if I get one message That oh my god, I can't believe you quit the show What it's gonna be like a feels like I will quit the show like people are gonna forget about if we don't talk about it for like a year But a year from now that's what I'm saying. I should bring up a story. Yeah, yeah And then you go like, yo, what the fuck but then we can't post that doesn't make sense Yeah, well, yes, we will we'll make a fake one and it'd be like it's my show. I posted it Wait, wait, what?

Why wouldn't you be able to post it? I'm saying if I said I was I was saying like if I told the story that was too personal and then you were like, yo What the fuck no, I would I would have to get at you a little bit So did you be like, no, I like fuck that. I'm posting it. Look what he said to me You know Yeah, that's not You should do that. Yeah But then why would I give you the files? Oh, we're terrible. No, no, no

It started off good. It would have been a smart one. We had a good idea there. But yeah, no guys Joe Joe is nice He's a great. He's a great guy. Let's get let you know what you know what you know what? Yeah, let's start over No, I like being the heel. Yeah, that's true. I love it You're the people's champ. It's true But One day one day one day. I have to turn heel low at some point. I can't see you being healed. You're too cuddly I'm like, John Cena. I don't think I'll ever like I'll never turn heel. Yeah, you could try Everyone's gonna be like, oh, you look dumb. Yeah, yeah, you know, I gotta be the mean one. Yeah, it's just fine

I think When it comes to If we were the same the show wouldn't work. No, it'd be terrible It'd be like, yeah, it would and that's exactly why That I like I have no like why the fuck would I care about that? You know what I'm saying? It's it just makes a better show. I don't care about who's more likable The other thing was is that no, I saw a comment on youtube that was like, yo Danny stop interrupting Joe when he talks and then I wrote

Oh, so you wrote a lot? No, no, no, I didn't write back. I I did a long instagram though story Oh, and I was like, yeah, like sorry for interrupting Like, you know, I'm just trying to like be as funny as possible and I'm sorry Like sometimes I get like over whatever and then I was like, you know what? Maybe maybe I shouldn't do that anymore. And then the next one is like, maybe I shouldn't just be on the shows at all That's the one you posted that and someone I actually know was like, yo, what is Danny talking about? I'm like, why the fuck are you texting me, dude? Like do you think he's serious?

I was like, what do you think Danny is serious right now? Joe texted me zero times during that Yeah, I knew I knew he got it. Yeah, like I see all these. I was like this kid's ridiculous. Like what is this? I posted it on twitter too with like a whole bunch of roadblock signs Wait, which one did you post on the one's like, you know, if I'm interrupting so much like I don't think I need to be on the shows anymore With roadblock Yeah, no, no, yeah, but that can can I segue this into something? Do you think like How do I say this the right way without turning heel Without turning heel without turning heel. Do you think that people are just like

Really gullible like people as a whole uh-huh Do you think we're too gullible as a species like I'm a cynical fuck like I'm a skeptical fuck too Uh, I don't know. I don't know if it's like gullible as it is like just I Don't believe anything anyone says to me No, not only that but it's like not all the time. But you know what I'm saying I mean, I think it's pretty obvious that we're in love. Yeah, and we can't we can't breathe without each other

Yeah, and also like love is like love's not easy all the time It's not not all the time. No, but you know, it has to be obvious. Of course. So even Of course, you know what I'm saying Uh through ups and downs ins and outs peaks and valleys Other examples that I can't think of at the very moment Love you 3000. What was that? Oh, yeah, that's uh stranger things. I love you, man Love you too, man. I didn't think I was gonna get that out of you. Yeah, I know that's why I said it Because I know you that was that was a test because if I didn't say it then you're like

Yeah, probably yeah 100 um No, but I just know I was You know and this isn't me being a heel. It's just me being just like, you know, just me If if you honestly thought Danny as a 30 year old man would speak that way, you're dumb That's all I can really say and I'm sorry But and I like I like I appreciate you being really nice to him and everything But man that is what am I a fucking dog I appreciate you guys being nice. So I feel like the like the kid they let win the wrestling tournament

I'm saying I like I feel I don't want to say that someone who's just being nice is dumb Like I appreciate like your gesture of being like, hey, man. Yeah, but come on Come on, man We're talking about dicks and holes and all the kinds of shit. I hear that I hear that I feel that I feel that I'm a spirit and how many times has Danny said that like I hit him or whatever like This is obviously a running thing the water bottle is true though. Which one the spray bottle spray bottle You spray me and Frankie sometimes I'm gonna get a fucking spray bottle though. Yeah, you should yeah

I mean, I would get a spray bottle if it wasn't a bunch of electronics around here Listen, I'm very I've run very hot. So like I wouldn't mind getting sprayed everyone I'd act out just to get spray just to get spray. Yeah, just to be a sprayed up boy. Yeah. Yeah What would you do if I do this? Did that get me sprayed? No Uh, but I What are you going? I gotta go get the ads. We gotta read. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I fucked up last week I gotta do the right ones. It's always gotta pay for the guys BMW, right?

Fight standing fight together Yeah I love how you like to say that on the day that you're not wearing all six of your chains and bracelets. What are what? Are you know what I'm wearing? merch Team player Yeah All right, let's get to the sponsors. Yeah, but seriously, I love you Okay, that's enough of that see told you there we go

Give the people what they want heel joke All right, by the way real quick before I read these I just want to say that I saw a gay dude on twitter Tell me that I'm not a twink Yeah, I saw that I said I he said I was a twunk or a jock I was like, what the fuck is that? It's like, yeah, you better like go have another survey because I'm a twink You want to know what it is? You're probably fringe twink. I am fringe twink. You're fringe twink. Yeah, I know I'm not The skinniest twink. Don't do that to yourself. I'm not saying I'm fat

I'm just saying I'm on the heavier side of twink. Yeah, you're like I'm a thicker twink like if there was a bmi for like gayness a body mass index you'd be like Slightly over twink. That's what I'm saying, but I'm still in the zone. Yeah, you're not fat for the earth Yeah, I'm definitely not a bear. No, and I'm not a twunk. Whatever the fuck that I don't even know what a twunk is Is that a short twink? That's a that's a that's a modern gay turn. Okay, because that's not old school gay. I'm more I'm very old school gay. Yeah, I'm old school gay too. Like I'm very familiar with old school gay Yeah, but I don't know this new like we got too many words. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I'm saying when I was younger It was breakfast lunch and dinner. Now we got brunch and shelly. I saw somebody call you a jock too

Isn't it like a high school kid who like throws people in lockers? Yeah, like where does it have to do with gayness like do you show up to like gay orgies with like a letterman jacket on What do they want you to do throw football you fuck a dude? Yeah, like why what is that? I don't know Is that a jock? Someone in the gay community like have sex on like a football field or something and what's an otter? I don't know. What what does an otter do in the animal world even? The queues after they are cute. Maybe they're just cute things. I hate when people say cute and hairy cute and hairy But I'm not that hairy. Yeah, it's true cute af. I hate that. Yeah, just say as fuck Yeah, let me hear it. Oh fuck

fuck Can I get to the sponsors? Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. I hoped I didn't hear that They'd be upset with me God the show's killing All right, first up we have one of the 11 spots on the show No, we got four everyone. I asked I took a poll Everyone said both and they want to bulk them up. They don't want to they don't want to break up the conversation I get that we move really fast. We're gonna break this up. I understand

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Gotta be making some bets on a weekly basis. Oh, yeah My betting from last year wasn't great. You I'm hoping I can do a little better this year. Yeah. Yeah, I mean you did pretty well I did pretty well. I did pretty well. I had some bad weeks. Yeah last week didn't do great Last thing didn't do great, but the good thing was is my bookie matched. There you go. I deposit exactly and that's what we're That's what they offer my bookie the place to make your bets this football season. Okay They have better bonuses And more profits prop bets than any other sportsbook period. Love prop bets. Um, and they're actually hosting a a super contest

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Let me know if you guys are Winning or losing out there. All right and lastly we have stitch fix Which has reimagined the way we find and buy clothes it's basically like having a personal stylist That springs into action for you. They hand select five brand new clothing items just for you

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Oh Killed those ads and we are done We are done Not not the show not us as a unit. No, no, no, don't take that. Don't don't take that around Yeah, so yo, actually I didn't even think about this, but what I have today is perfect for uh The argument we had earlier Okay, what I wouldn't call it nor even whatever it was. It was a conversation I mean some feelings were hurt. You said some things. I said some things. Yeah, but the important part is we're still here

Yeah, it's cohesive unit I googled uh This because I thought it would be funny to do okay, but it's like but it also is like it's dumb Because it's not I don't have to like read or anything do that. No, you don't don't worry about it um But it's a test to see if you're if you're in love. Oh, okay. Yeah But it's weird because the reason why I googled it because me and greg on other people's lives

we did an episode where There was a list of questions that some scientist or whatever came up with And they're questions that you can ask someone on a date or whatever like a person And you find out so much about them. That is like, didn't you like cry? Huh, like didn't you like cry? No, no, no, I didn't cry but everyone who I've done it to cried Oh, that's what you told me. Yeah. Yeah, like I bet you for sure you'd cry. Yeah, I mean I cry if you just looked at me in the wrong way No, but uh, so we we did it me and greg did it on the show and it pulls like deep

Answers out of you because like they do a good job of Like warming you up to it. They'll ask easy questions, but they'll get you thinking back Okay, they'll butter that but you start thinking about memories and so so they'll ask a question about you know In fifth grade, like what was your favorite game in gym? Like, you know what I mean? Like things you haven't thought about in so long that you're like, okay Let me go back and yeah, yeah, just like exercise your mind and then by the end of it. It's just like It's just like wild. You know what I'm saying? Like it's I don't think I can handle it one of the questions just to give you an idea that's sort of like

A little past the halfway point is like Which one of your family members? Uh Would have like which one of your family members dying would have the biggest effect on you and why so it's like that question After you just answered all these deep ones Like your answer is going to be like way better than if I asked you right now for no reason. You know what I mean? Yeah, so it just it makes I mean I'm thinking about it now making me sad. That's what I'm saying

You know and then once you get to the end of it and then it asks about like your happiness and all these things So I was looking for that but I didn't find it. I thought there's a sick freak. Yes. He's a sick bastard But it's actually a really cool exercise. I need to find it If you wanted I was definitely not going to ask you on on this on the show because it's like I don't care It's pretty serious. I don't want it to be super serious But anyway, I was looking for it and I found this other one. Okay, it's so bad It's literally like a second grade version of it. Oh, it's great. It's just it's right. That's right I don't like my intellectual wheelhouse. Yeah, this is right where you peaked. Yeah

But this is uh killed it in second grade. This is like a second grade Love test. All right. I'm ready. You know what I mean? Yeah, but they're just incomplete senses I don't know how this even like comes close to compared to the other one figure out. All right, so I have 20 senses I think yeah, 20. I love heart Like I'm a hard lover. Oh, I was like, wait Forget a word that's not no, but I'm a I'm a big lover. So we're gonna see how this goes Okay, so I'm gonna say the sentence and then you know, the blank is where we answer. Okay Uh, do you want to do the same time or you go first? I go first

Oh, do you want to do like we pass the phone? That's what I'm saying So it's like you get a little bit of element of surprise from the question yourself All right, no, just you know, I do them all and I'll answer first all all every time No, I think we could go back and forth. You want to go first? Yeah, I'll go first. Okay You're gonna answer though Yeah, yeah, like I'll answer one. You'll answer two like that. I stare into the distance when I think of blank I See which version of joe's gonna come and answer the future. Yeah

When I'm thinking about like What you want to do with your life or something or thinking of something kind of Or sometimes I just zone out for no reason. Are you ever do that? Yeah, yes And you're just like just staring and everyone's just looking at you and you're like, I'm sorry. I was somewhere else What is that? Because I'm not really thinking about anything. It's just your your Your tension span is just somewhere else trash

Like it's literally people have spoken full sentences to me. I don't hear a word one word Yeah, and it would happen to me all the time. Yeah, like even like football games Like the coach would like say something to the man. I wouldn't hear any of it. She's like, I'm looking at you But I can't hear you. Yeah. I'm like I'm like seeing if my dad's there like, you know, like I wasn't like, you know All right, your question I feel that I can count on Joe Wow

He's trying to beat you. He's really playing up the people's champ today. No, that's true though. I can't count on you You haven't given me a reason to prove not to That's gonna work. You gotta work on that Second grade, baby. Yeah second grade. Uh-oh What did I do? Oh, oh, oh you took it. It's a picture. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Okay, um three I get shaky knees when I am near blank Uh

Shaky knees See what I'm saying how this makes no sense for like if you're in love with someone thing. It's like, uh, michelle. I mean I still get like butterflies around my fiance Butterflies and shaky knees are different thing, but I I'm not gonna be Like shake shaky knees now like I'm worried. I'm going to the doctor. Yeah, I need to start shaking now Like maybe if I'm next to an open fridge Yeah, but like if I like if I haven't seen Alana for like a while she comes home I'll get like butterflies because I'm happy to see her. Damn. She's gonna love that. Yeah

Uh, I am prepared to share my possessions with Joe no Honestly, I'll be really honest with you I don't like I don't like sharing possessions But like I will so like what I mean by possessions is like Alana wears a lot of my clothes to bet Look at how disgusted you look. No, but it's like Like but like she won't grab like my shittiest underwear. She'll grab my most expensive underwear and where it's a bed Yeah, you know, it's like I had plans for those calvins. Yeah, you know, I had plans for these Tommy Hill figures

I had plans for these. Yeah. Yeah, my most comfortable shirts. She'll wear them Yeah, I'm like Not that one. That's the one that fits my hips the right way. Right, you know That's one of the extra long shirts that makes my belly look smaller from h&m. I need that Yeah, but you got it on but if you wear it to bed, it's not dirty Beds are gross. No, they are I don't know if you've done any research No, there's some gross beds out there, of course, but I but I don't think that like and also Eli's in the bed So it's fucking hair. Oh, I forget your dog. Yeah, he sheds. Yeah

Yeah, stupid asshole Yeah, it sucks. Not you the dog. There you go. Yeah I would feel lonely without blank Uh friends and family, you know, I actually this is a sick thought that I had this morning Uh, when I was walking because then now I yeah, it's disgusting, but I literally was um I was up it was like seven o'clock in the morning and at that time it's very quiet But it's like and the sun I was like a little maybe a little earlier But the the sun is coming out and it's just like a very

Like whatever peaceful time in the morning. I'm obsessed with that time And I'm walking down the block to my mom's house And I don't know why the thought got into my head But it literally was just this morbid of like if all of my friends And family weren't around I would I wouldn't be able to like I would cease to like exist. Yeah, I would like lose it. Yeah, like I'm so reliant

I'm so depend like for a person who considers himself super independent It's kind of fun for me to realize how dependent I am. Oh, yeah on that, you know I mean, we're all so so tethered, you know what I mean when it comes to like our friends and family Like even when you leave like your your mom's house You're she's thinking about you. You're thinking about her. So it's like you're constantly connected So that's why like if that connection were to be gone It you would just you would destroy you. Yeah, I don't know why but I was like I was having a like I was like listening to music and shit. I was like having a good time. I've had and I'm like, oh god

I've had that thought so many times like thoughts like yeah, like what would I do if like my entire family just like burned down Why don't we do that? We're just like sick people. No, that's that's a normal thought That's like that's as normal as normal guess. I thought about like, yo like what would I do if my whole house burned down? I was the only one to survive Like why am I thinking about that? Yeah, you know, and then I'm just like, you know what? People probably ask themselves this question all all the time. Maybe yeah, I don't think any thought I've had is like an original one Yes, and no because you could like put Variables in there like make it like kind of your own, but I understand what you're saying. Yeah, like I feel like if I thought it

Then people have had to think it. That's what I'm saying, especially that you're not the first and we were like, yo I do that. I'm like, yo, I am not alone in this universe. That's one of the best things about having a platform a big platform You find out we're a big show We're a big deal. Um, you find out that you're not as fucking nuts as you thought you are. Yeah, you know It's kind of funny. Nobody nobody said yes about the wiping the bottom of the floor though. I was solely out on that one. Yeah, that's just you Uh, maybe if you ask your dog that or something. Yeah, they do that when they have itchy anus My feelings for blank reduce my appetite My feelings for

Blank reduce my appetite. What the fuck? How's this a love question? I'm just gonna use something else Yeah, good When I get anxious I can't eat That's a very real answer Yeah Like when I get like super anxious, like I'm not even thinking about food. I'm thinking about like survival Suck it sucks

Um Okay My thoughts about blank make make it difficult for me to concentrate on My thoughts about blank make make it difficult for me to concentrate on something else A lot of things I can't multitask at all. No, you're horrible Like if I'm texting I can't hear you You can multitask If it's on one device like you could do a whole bunch of stuff on one device

But if it's outside of that you're toast I can't I can't you know literally the other day. I had this idea for like a game. Yeah, and I remember Yeah, yeah, I ran it by you. I was running it by a ton of people that morning and then I drove to the gym and I I couldn't stop thinking about it. So I didn't go to the gym like I was like I need to go home and work on this like I can't and it was just like a fun thing that most likely will never be A thing that I do or try to pursue. Yeah, but it was an idea that got in my head and I got so obsessive over and I was so like Gittery over it that I was like, yo, I'm fucking I gotta leave. Yeah

I gotta go home. So I drove all like all the way like all the way to the gym But I drove to the gym and I was right outside and I was about to go in I was like, I can't I gotta go home and like Write this out. Yeah, it's like I can't multitask at all if I'm at the gym And something's on my mind like I can't work out. It sucks But it's all right. All right. So like when like, uh What is it? What would that be? I guess a distraction But Try and think of the word

What I am. Yeah No, I just you know, I can't multitask hit me. Uh blank is the one for me. I mean, it's obvious, but I'm gonna say, um The cheesecake factory You know, I've never been to cheesecake. You've never been in the cheesecake practice. No, is it good? I feel like it's like olive garden. All right. I'm gonna say this It's not gonna knock your socks off, but you're gonna be very pleased. Really? Yes. Is there like good cheesecake? Yeah, is there like machinery like a factory? No, yeah It's all very very fresh. I'm not saying their guys are back. They're fucking

Turn in their own butter and cheese, but it's very fucking good. Okay And they're the only thing I hit about cheesecake factories that their menu is like 78 pages long. Really? Yeah. So is it like apple bees? It's like apple bees just a notch above luxury wise Same food style same food style. Yeah, I don't know. I hate apple bees One time I went to apple bees because it was like, yeah I think it was Keith who was like, yo on like Wednesdays you get margaritas for like a dollar Well, that's makes sense. So we were like, all right, cool. Like we're gonna go and just like drink margaritas

We get there It was like me and my siblings we get there and we're like, yeah, can you do like the dollar margaritas? And the waiter goes you don't want the margaritas And I was like, I don't want to even want to be here after that. Yeah, like what is that? That's gotta be a tough guy because you don't want the margaritas and how can you fuck up a margarita? It's like sugar and Rum you could fuck up a margarita. I mean you could but like how could you make it gross? Yeah You'll like cheesecake way more than you like apple bees. I don't even know if there's a cheesecake around here Uh, yeah, there is where me and franky went to jc pennon to take the pictures

We had cheesecake factory for lunch that day In queen and uh, oh my god. He's got they got these things called buffalo blast Buffalo blast. Oh, you know, they're so fucking good, dude. What is that? Like a basically like buffalo chicken nuggets That are fantastic. Yeah Interesting. We'll pop your uh cheesecake cherry No pun intended. Is it cherry cheesecake? Yeah um I'm afraid that I will say something wrong when I talk to

blank transgenders That's my real answer. I'm not even trying to be funny I'm not trying to laugh because you said it's so serious because I'm so serious because like I get nervous because With the pronouns or just anyone like I'll be I'm not even trying to sound like an asshole right now Non-binary all the I don't know what any of it means that heel turns looking good. Yeah, it is. It's really This is not like this is not a good. It's not my shining moment right now But I really I really get nervous because I don't like I don't want to say the wrong thing

I'm down with all of it too. Like do your thing. Like, you know, I don't give a shit Yeah, he lets me be myself. So yeah, exactly. Like I like I'm not one of those people. It's like and I'm not saying You know, like there's people are like, no, it's cool. Do whatever you want, but just stay away from me Like I'm not even like that. You know what I'm saying? Like I'm like, I don't give a fuck that ideology makes no sense Yo, I love that. It should be like, yo like listen like I don't care what they do Just get away from me. Just don't fucking touch me. I'm like, dude First half of that sentence was great. You know, there's a fantastic bit There's a fantastic bit that mark norman does. Okay, uh, go follow him on instagram guys. He's a comedian

Yeah, he's hilarious on instagram. It's mark norman But he has this joke where he's like Uh, he said something like, oh, I got a friend. I don't want to butcher it, but you can find it on his page Or I'm just gonna paraphrase. I'm sorry for doing a terrible job But uh, he he said he basically makes a joke of like he has a friend who Is like, oh, dude, I wouldn't even shake a gay guy's hand And he's like, why is that because you don't want me like dicks. He's touched. He goes, you know, who else has touched dicks? women

So they're like, I don't want to touch guys. We're like kissing dudes. It's like, yeah, so does every girl that you fucking Yeah, you know what I mean You've got more dick residue from women than you do from from gay dude. Yeah Actually, that's probably not true. They fuck like crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah gay dudes are gay dudes have so much sex. Yeah, they party hard Crazy, they do they do fucking They do a ton of fucking but yeah, I mean honestly being afraid while talking to transgenders Like I just don't want to you don't want to upset someone. Yeah, because there's there's like The he the she because yo, oh my god, I went back and I want like I

I went I made a video about Caitlyn Jenner Right when it first happened And I fucked that whole thing up Because like my heart was in the right place at the time, you know Where I was basically saying like people were being so dumb on the internet and be like, oh, it's just a publicity stunt and like Yeah, yeah, or like or they just had a problem with whatever and I was saying like it's not a big deal You know, whatever like you don't have to blah blah blah like I was on her side She also killed someone like the week before but

Yeah, yo, I forgot about that. Uh, but Well, Bruce technically that killed killed the people. Yeah, I fucked up pronouns the entire video She he yeah, I the whole time it was like mixed up So like that kind of thing I know bothers people and I don't want to do that So I get nervous because I don't know because some people Go by they or them and I don't Yeah, but I don't know what even non-binary means. I I understand where you're coming from. So I get nervous. Yeah I get scared. Yeah, because one little mistake had turned into like now. I'm on youtube now

People trying to say that, you know, I said the wrong thing. Yeah, but Dave Chappelle's best about it Which one? um When he's tell it's it was on one of his last specials when he's talking about being in the club and like It's like a transgender Uh woman falls down like her penis comes out Yeah, and he's like, yo like you okay, man? Like like you need a hand up And he's like it's it's her

And he's like, all right. Sorry, man. He's like, uh Well, just do me a favor. Let her know her dicks. I But you know, it's tough and I could see where it's tough Yeah, it's I just I just don't want to say the wrong thing because I feel bad but You know I'm about it. Do your thing. There's hope for you yet. What do you mean? Uh, what are we up to? We're halfway then halfway there halfway then

I stare. Oh, we did this one already or two. I don't know. I hope my feelings for blank will never end Oh, wait. No, I ask Just answer it. All right. What was it? And then just ask me to in a row. I hope my feelings for blank will never end My family nice, I thought you were gonna say like my Like uh drive Well, I guess that kind of goes hand in hand because you get yeah, they're motive. They're motivating factor Sometimes I think about it where I'm like, what is the ultimate?

fuel In the fire and I think it is them. Yeah, of course If you didn't have a family you you wouldn't really want to share if they were like super rich and like totally fine Not that they're struggling, right? But I would love to just be like, yo, none of you guys have to work ever again You know and none of them would even want that, you know, like I that's a stupid dream in my head But like none of them would be like, yeah, sure. Just pay they'd be like dude. I don't fucking need you to do that you know

But I think it's it's that just to make sure like everyone's cool or that if your house burned down, it's cool Don't worry. I have 10 billion dollars. Yeah, boom another house. Can I ask you a serious question? Yeah, it's pretty serious Okay, when's the last time you and Keith said you loved each other I don't know I don't know you're both not big love guys. He's not What do you think if you said yo like if you hug Keith right now He would and squirm out of it. No, no, no like dog Like because like I was thinking about it because uh, we were looking at old facebook pictures in there

Yeah, and there was a picture from your brother's wedding. I think okay, and I was like, oh man, Keith looks really nice or whatever I was like, if anyone's gonna say I love you, it's gonna be that type of day. You know what I'm saying Somebody's getting married You're hugging it out. You love everybody, you know, yeah What would Keith do if you just went out put your arm around and she's like, yeah, I love you, man What do you think he would say? He would be a lot. He wouldn't say I love you Really? Yeah I know he does of course he does but he would just be like

He'd be like, all right He's like he's born in the wrong era Like your brother would have did really well like in the 60s where everyone just suppressed all their feelings And like no one loved anybody Probably like yeah, I like he he he loves you, but he doesn't need to tell you. No, he's not he's not doing that Um, see me me and my brothers were just all big dorks big lovers. Oh, yeah Cry babies and fucking lovers I mean cry all the time

Yeah, uh I get clammy hands when I am near Joe Sanagato That's fucking true. I never feel you clammy. No You don't get clammy around me you bitch. No I'm getting clammy now. You see this? No, I think I get clammy hands around family functions Like when it's like a lot of people and like I feel like I gotta be on

You know, and I feel like that unnecessary pressure I put on myself. Yeah, but like I feel like I gotta be on I gotta be a source of entertainment here Yeah, I get clammy when when I'm in a place and then a lot of people recognize me then I feel nervous Yeah, and I get really fucking weird. Yeah, I don't like when that happens and I like I always try to like work on that because Like whatever that happens sometimes I don't want but then it makes me like this like introvert because I'm afraid. I don't know what I'm like weirded out by Yeah, that's another weird

friggin trait you have that you can become like an introvert sometimes Yeah, when I feel like I don't know I I love being like Outgoing but it's like in your comfort zone It's like if you're just what your boys You're gonna be Like go outgoing. Yeah, but like if a couple people recognize you might feel a little uncomfortable. It's okay to feel uncomfortable Is that uncomfortable? It's just now I feel that just makes me I don't know that turns me into an introvert sometimes

Yeah, you get anxious. It's not all the time. I know I don't even get anxious. I just get like Oh, no I don't know sounds anxious to me like tense No guys, don't say hello to joan public. I swear to god And that's what I don't want and that's even worse honestly if I if I walk into somewhere, right? and because yo with anybody That has any sort of following

And I've learned this over the years. You know, I can see everybody. Yeah If you're staring at me, I know I know, you know who I am. Yes I know every single time and I've gone up to people and be like, what's up guys Because that that that will make me clammy as shit. Yeah, because that makes me even more nervous That's why I'm like, yo, they're plotting on me. Like they're gonna fuck me up or something That's why I could never I could never be like one of the most famous people in the world Oh, I would hate my life. I would lose it. Yeah, I would lose it I would rather people come up to me and then like be like, yo, what's up?

And like cool. That's like when people like ask me like, um Like I'd rather be like a like a writer than like an artist Like the artist Like I'd rather be the guy that just hides in the background collects the fucking check. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah It's it's a it's a weird like thing If you want to be respected and you want to feel like loved by people But then you also just don't want to feel like weird or watched or whatever, you know I honestly don't really feel like that too often. But well, it gets a little awkward sometimes

Someone would be like, yo titties and I'm just like, all right. Yeah I only get awkward like if I'm in a loud bar And it doesn't matter how many people do it But if they come up to me and they know who I am like, I don't like I don't care Not that I don't care that like I don't like it doesn't make me an introvert But if I'm in a quiet place And someone says something and then I could see everyone else being like, what the fuck is this? That makes me so weird that I get that makes me feel like I need to get out of here, you know

Because then when people start looking at me and they're like, who are you? I'm like, I don't know I'm no one also somebody came up to me and was like, hey Danny, where can they find you? I was like, dude, they're gonna find you in the trash in a second I was like, why don't you just say hello to me? Where can they find you like it was cool, but I was just like, yeah, I was like, yeah, I'm like Say hi first. Yeah, and then in my head. I was like, uh, right and like I just kept walking my dog That's that's weird. Yeah, uh, I feel emotionally connected to My dog

Well, yeah My dog, I'll be honest with you because here's the thing What I'm going through right now is a very stressful period of my life. Uh-huh, you know, wedding's getting planned you know Picking a picking a venue and my fiance has done like 90 of the fucking grunt work and just the 10 percent is stressing me the fuck out You know what I'm saying? Sounds like uh, me and her have something in common, but But If I didn't have my dog there to get me through like I'm like, you know what?

at least I know this thing just loves me unconditionally right and there's not there's no strings attached in terms of like Oh, we gotta set a date and do this. He's like dude. I just want to hang out I compare it to uh Now stay with me here. Yeah, I compare dogs to like lamps because okay like When it gets dark, it would just be dark Yeah, and you would just have to wait until the sun comes out for it to be lied again

Yes, but with the dog It's like having a lamp because they're always just like showing you love And like they're always just like on and like ready to be like to do whatever you want, you know Like they're it's just it's great. You know, it's a weird thing to me too. Damn. I fucking murdered that dog That was good dogs or lamps, dude You said murdered that dog and then I got scared damn. No, I didn't kill I meant the I didn't the analogy. Right. I don't want to think I don't want anyone to They're lamps. Yeah, they're lamps dogs are lamps

I hate when you ask people like, hey, do you have a dog and they're like, yeah, it sucks I'm like, oh, like you suck. I'm like, wait a second. Maybe you suck Anyone who doesn't like their dog. I'm not their fucking friend. No I said did you dog is all how many vet ranch videos did you watch? A whole bunch. Yeah, I love vet ranch. I can watch dogs get a bath for hours There's this guy on youtube It's called vet ranch. He basically finds

There's most fucked up dogs on planet earth. I'm talking mange I'm talking they got fucking holes in them. They're all fucked up dogs with holes. Yeah, dude And remember I texted you I said this guy is basically like the exhibit of Fucking vets he gets these fucking fucked up dogs and turns them into like amazing pence rides They're like brand new dogs Yeah, he puts like a fish tank in them. It's great. But like, you know, like I can't say how people could hate like their own pet They're miserable bastards, too. Yeah, I have a cat. She's a fucking cunt. I'm just like, okay

That'll believe though cats are a little pissy Yeah I become tense when I am close to the subway What I get tense on the subway. I don't like the subway. I don't like public transportation. I feel like I'm locked in a iron cast That's can just explode or be crushed or get stuck at any moment and I'd rather

Be in a car All righty then You've never been afraid of trains No, never Metro north which is like our like our railroad Perfectly fine on that really because those aren't aren't they faster? Oh, no, they're not no no no no no Those derail though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like I can't remember the last time the subway derailed The thing is is just being able to see the outside

Okay, makes me comfortable right when I'm just in a tunnel That has this much space in between the fucking train and the wall Makes you nervous. It makes me nervous. It does it does nervous nervous. Yeah But I should I should try to ride the subway more. I should get better at that I have a hard time sleeping because I am thinking of This one's my future and my health Which is like it's like they coax everybody up. Yeah, it's just kind of like You know, it's just stuff that I could do better

And it's like When I lay down I don't lay down and go to sleep. I think about like everything I did that entire day Yeah, you kind of go through and yeah, and then there's like a couple things that are like I shouldn't have done that or Oh, this was really good or I should have did this or that so then like I start Evaluating like my entire life in in the span of two hours Yeah, I I do that and then when I can't sleep like I literally just did this like four days ago

Yeah, like I I have times where Because y'all I go back and forth with it Like you said, there's like different versions of me like there's the version of me that's like I want to enjoy my life and not just like worry about everything or worry about like oh This has to be this has to be in line with the future that I want to build or whatever Sometimes I just want to fucking just have fun and just like go crazy You know what I'm saying and that's why that like I was I was going I had a very regimented gym

I was going to the gym every single day. Yeah, you know, and I had like my mornings were kind of all the same for a long time and You know, I got into a good shape. I was running every day And then I was just kind then at some point like I was like, you know, you know what like I'm not gonna I'm not gonna eat clean And I'm just gonna eat I'm just gonna eat this thing right or like whatever I'll drink today or like, you know, whatever But then after a while of being in that fucking routine and like not going to the gym, right like You know every day basis

Eventually that just makes me like really upset. Do you think you drank too much? uh I don't think I drank too. I mean I'm talking I'm talking calorically not like get wasted Probably you know why because that's the thing like There are times where I'm like, I didn't need to drink that day, right? You know, like I didn't you know, whatever like if we if I go out and just because everyone's drinking like I'll need to drink this day, right? um Which is what I'm doing now because like now I want to turn the whole thing around and that's why I'm like

You know and today we went over like how to regiment everything. Yeah, I mean that was fucking necessary anyway, but yeah We've been running a fucking shaking with their head cut off fucking kind of operation operation over here. Yeah, um, but yeah, I I think about that all the time. So I mean when I'm in bed because I'm I like to think I'm always very realistic with myself and being like You know, you're doing a good job or you're doing a bad job or you could be doing better and like things are great right now Just keep it up or like, you know, whatever. Yeah, it's never like you did it because that can't be it You know, it always has to it always can get better. It could always like whatever But it also maintaining if you're doing extremely well is another fight in itself. Yeah, so it's every day You have to like kind of grade yourself and be realistic like oh

You know, when people are like, well, you know, uh, I had a diet coke. So it's like do climb You drink this holiday. Just drink fucking water, you know, yeah so There's no cutting corners when it comes to that shit. So I recently just did that and Now I'm kind of getting back into the regimented cleansing cleansing out a little bit Yeah, there's like little things that you do that Sleeps a huge one. Yeah sleeps sleeps a big one, but it's also just like You know waking up at an early time. I love it. It's it's so hard. What is that? What does that mean?

Yeah It's so hard, but it's the best time of day in my opinion because it's so relaxing It's like walking around in a yoga class or like, you know what I'm saying like I was talking about your buddy Danny He wakes up at four and his job is over at 12. All right. He still has 12 hours in the day right That's unbelievable think about what you could accomplish from four to 12 if you really tried to accomplish it And then you still have 12 hours. Well, he also sleeps right eight hours. Let's say You still have another four hours

to like You know the only thing that sucks about that is like you're going to bed at like five o'clock No, I mean, I don't but it's I don't know man for me like there's little things like Now I refuse to drive to the gym unless it's raining If it's if it's not raining I have to walk Because you miss out on certain things when you when you don't walk

You mean like cardio base or like just like human interaction and just life. All right. That I get that I get Like yo, if I drive to work every day and I don't Walk, yeah, I don't feel the sun Right, I don't feel the wind. I don't see birds. I know this sounds dramatic. This is true Deep joe, but it's it's true though. Like if if you're if I'm if I'm leaving my apartment and getting into the car like I don't even feel You don't even feel the sun. You don't feel the wind. You don't see you know people

You don't walk by anyone. You don't see a dog walking by you don't like whatever or you know I mean, it's like a little drama where they would take those tubes right to where they needed to get Yeah, and I feel like that stuff is important And I would hate to be a person that goes from here gets in a car gets my place gets back in a building gets back In a car gets back to my place right and it's like I spent no time outside a station station the stationary life Yeah, station station and I think things like that are important now Am I gonna stick to that fucking rule forever? Probably not I'm human and I go back and forth the shit all the time

But it's just something that's fresh in my mind right now. Do you think you'll ever take a subway again? Yeah Was last time you were on a subway um A while ago maybe a few months ago I don't think I've been on a subway in two years Wow, that's crazy No, no a year and a half see and the subway is another one of those things now. It's not as enjoyable as walking

It's terrible people are always like yo, why don't you take because I don't want to it's a horrible experience It is it's not great. There's nothing Poetic there's nothing beautiful about it I don't care what you say if I have the finances to take a car to work I'm going to do it Right, but I and like I said, it's not as like it's awful But horrible a lot of great stories come from taking that shit Yes, they do like when I had to take the subway to work when I worked at elite like

Every day they were something Yeah, and they were just like, you know, because you could come up with material with that or you just make you think of shit And it's just it's really funny. So it's like in that aspect. There's that but like it's not it's not great It's awful, you know, and it's not cheap enough for me to be like I'm gonna do this if right and also the other thing too is like you'll be in rush hour On a fucking subway and you're asked to ask or dick the butt. Yeah I don't want to rub my dick on this guy's ass or get his dick rubbed on my ass. Yeah. I mean, I prefer that

But you know, I'm saying it's just one of those things a dick on dick. Wait No, what would I prefer dick on dick? I'd rather prefer I prefer dick on His ass. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I don't want his dick on my ass. No, I don't want to feel I don't want to go dick to dick either Dick to dick is too awful. That's intimate as shit. Yeah. We're basically kissing at that point. Yeah. Yeah You've got really cross-eyed for a second. Yeah, I looked right at this. Yeah. Yeah, but Yeah, I I see What you're saying though about just like human interaction just getting out there Well things you won't you that you that you people might overlook as like, I'm just gonna get there or I'm gonna like whatever like

I like to think about those things and I like to think they matter I think the little things matter a lot like I think the fact that just walking to the gym Keeps me off of my phone as well. That's who you know, because if I'm in the car You know, there's electronics there that I'm you know the the Fucking radio or the navigate not the navigation. I mean it's fucking, you know, whatever it is 10 blocks, but You know shit like that like but when I walk I'm just walking. You know, I'm listening to music. I'm walking How are you doing with the phone in bed? My phone in bed. Yeah

Not great. I'm I'm so bad with that. Yeah that I went through three stages of my life One I always needed the tv on when I went to bed always Until I was around 15 or 16. Okay, then it became I always needed a fan on And that was like that had a good run that was up until I was like 23 or 24 Once these smartphones came out. I have to go to sleep listening to something Like headphones in falling asleep Really? Yeah

That's weird. Yeah, like I'll put on I'll put on like uh Uh Something that I know is enough time for me to fall asleep Like I won't play a three minute video for a minute video like I'll do a meditation. That's like an hour long Oh, well, that's different. Yeah. Yeah, that helps me go to sleep. Yeah, that's different. Yeah Can you start meditating right? Yeah, I do. It's good, right? See and that's another thing that I yeah, I like it I like it a lot. You just got to give it a shot and stick with it. I'm telling you. Yo, it's gonna change your whole fucking shit Do you do it in the morning and at night? I only do it in the morning

Implement at night a little bit if you're feeling a little bit restless It's not to be all end all like I'm going to be able to go to sleep. But the stuff that we just talked about um Constantly thinking about our day You don't think about that. Yeah, you let that shit go. Yeah, and then now it's like, yo I'm actually in tune with my body like, you know when I'm really meditating and I'm deep like 20 minutes in I feel parts of my body and like muscles and things going on in my body that I never even knew was there because I'm not focusing on it Yeah, like just focusing on my breath and feeling my feeling my chest rise and go back down. It's fucking crazy

And like that's all I'm thinking about. Yeah Josh Muay thai josh What's he doing? I don't know. He's being like a cat. He's like making noises, but they're being quiet. Yeah But are you're liking it though, right? Oh, there he is. There he goes. Muay thai josh There he goes fucking kicking a can or someone's hand in there. Yeah He's sparring you shadow boxing in the hallway Don't shot. Yeah, but do you feel that like you get that calm?

Yeah, well, I'm blank. I I'm doing it in like increments. So it was like three minutes five minutes 10 minutes I think today I did 15 minutes Because I just put it on while I was in the sauna, which was like a weird experience Like I don't really recommend that but no But uh, yeah I do it for an hour That's a long time. Yeah It's it's also like for me it's at night in the morning. It's like 20 minutes

It's competitive for me because it's so hard when you first start out to do that And to not think about shit and to not just to let it all go. It's hard when you get Good at it to the moment where that stops happening You are going to be on such another level Of calmness a level that you never knew you could reach right. It's almost fucking like medical. It's like euphoric Yeah, it's where you're just like you feel like you're floating on your back in a pool Sorry, it's good. It's gonna it's gonna be great. You're gonna love that. It took me like a year to get there though But just keep trying. Yeah

I feel like I might have pointed my life now where I'm just trying to much a different weird shit and a lot of hates it Really? Yeah Some people just can't sit still. Oh my god I'm like, yo Moitai Josh is one of those guys Moitai Josh he moves around a lot. I don't know if he ever sleeps Josh no, he's like a fucking pinball. No, he keeps moving his feet though. Any of when he sleeps, he moves his feet Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had a I had a friend That would wiggle his feet

That's Josh like you're like a fish. Well, he's sleeping just going Moitai Josh Josh come here Oh God, is it true that you move your feet when you sleep? He just goes like this like with his feet Like see like a fish like your friend. I got a fish friend too I would look at it on my dude. What are you doing? Yeah, man

You know what I do? I can see how that sensation would be like whatever, but I can't fall asleep doing that I need to be perfectly still. I'll shake my foot If I'm not ready to go to sleep because now I'm just like I'm fucking restless, but I'm not like All right, I'm going to sleep You know I'm saying I'm not starting up an engine to go to sleep swim to sleep. Yeah, no But my sleeping habits need to definitely get better for sure It's that time boys and girls We just got a letter

We just got a letter. That's great. Yo, Josh. Can you go get him, please? It's greg down there Diabic, yeah, yeah, yeah from other people's lives. Yeah, we're gonna record right after you guys. You got a crazy episode today Oh, yeah, I don't want to say it. I'm not gonna say it. We're in between seasons right now But I want to know how this went after. Oh, well, you could watch the episode. Yeah, you bastard I get it. I get it exclusive though a little maybe a little before What'd you say? Maybe I could hear it a little bit before I'm not showing you shit. See, you know, I try so hard This is what I kept. Joe, what can I say?

You're ringing my doorbell again, son of a bitch bastard. Um, what'd you say? Oh, I said, Joe, where can they find you? Whoa Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah taking the reins a little bit a little bit What's this kid doing? Are you just letting him in? This kid rings his fucking bell again Geez take it easy, greg. Where's he got to take a shit? I Scared right my bow my what I just got my bow. I just said a bell. I sound like Rocky Bell

Well, well, well, well, oh, hey. Oh, it's other half of people. Oh, I got food Can we get greg's joggers on the on the show, please? He's showing the ankle today. Greg put the look at that He's from Dumbo. He lives in Dumbo, Brooklyn. So, you know You got to show the ankle over there. They're very stylish more like other people's thighs That was an ankle though That was an ankle. It was an ankle Where Joe, where can they find it? Yeah, where can they find me?

Uh, he's got sushi. What else is new? Um, anyway, I'm from Dumbo. I ate sushi. I wrote a book I like to read at the park. I like to do that too though Do you I don't I mean, I'm like, don't give me that. No, I I found it very enjoyable Do I do it? No, I don't do it. Yeah, but I did it and it was nice. I don't understand the destination What is it? He won't need it. He's not gonna eat it. You won't need it Chew the whole thing You don't have anything to dip this in or something

Okay, what's it going on? I don't just like an ASMR mukbang now. I'm just turning into a mukbang You're very capable of a lot of things. You're one of the most capable people I know one thing you're not capable of is going to a park and reading every day. It's not gonna happen No, hell no, it's not gonna happen every day. No, no, but I went that one time because I had some time too And you like physical books, right? You don't like kindles. I love the kindles That's the only way I could read and I don't read but that's the only way I could read a kindle. Yeah I'm a I'm irresponsible asshole. I don't have bookmarks. I'm not gonna be one of those guys that bends the pages

Remember that you got a bookmark. You have a bookmark. Are you Ben? You bend you ruin the book man You only got to read it once. That's not true. How do people read books more than once? I have their idiots. What the fuck is that? I don't know a lot of time A lot of time you multiple read That's so fucking weird to me I just don't understand the actual physical capability of reading one book That's already a problem for me. Now say that book was so good. I'm gonna read it again

No sense You know what people do they read a book and they highlight And then they read it again and then it's like what I saw somebody reading a novel in the dog park the other day and they were taking notes They were writing in the book. They were taking notes. Yeah, they were grading it. They were basically look like a teacher reading like somebody's fucking Theses on Abraham Lincoln What does this mean? You want to know what I heard about Abraham Lincoln? He was like an amazing wrestler

Like Like like like stone cold. No, no, no, no, no, no free slaves. Give me hell. Yeah Slavery, yeah, I'm a stun slavery. That's a bottom line. No, but uh He was like a really good like amateur wrestler. Well, he's a tall like Sharp dude. Now, let me ask you this then sharp features because back then people were smaller If Jesus is real, how tall do you think he was? Oh, he's you know, he's probably like 5 10 something Jesus was not 5 10 dude

That was like 4 000 years ago. Well, 2000 years. What does that mean? They can't be tall Evolution says they were shorter that they were shorter. Shit. Oh, so we could beat them up. Yeah, I would kick Jesus's ass. Yeah. Yeah Tell you this, you know, you went to that temple and he was Jewish, right? He came to my temple and flipped that fucking table over. We'd be moving some furniture on there. Yeah, Jesus I don't know, man Yeah, no, Jesus could Jesus could fuck me up. No, but Jesus he'd like cured that guy of lupus or something No, so he could put some lupus on you if he wants. Yeah, or whatever that was. Yeah I forget there's also like the book of Job

Who the fuck is that? All right. So this is how fucked up this story in the bible is all right It's a book of Job, I believe so the devil and god are having a conversation one day, right? Well, they're just like shooting the shit playing cards. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know They were having one of their heaven hell fucking quarterly meetings. Yeah So they're talking and he's like look at Job. He does this he has a a farm. He has a beautiful family and he praises me every day And satan was like, yeah, of course he does you give him everything And then god was like, you know what I'm gonna show you how much he loves me I'm gonna take all the shit away kills his family

Ruins his fucking farm Gives him fucking like lupus like fucking shit all over his face And he keeps praying to god So god basically ruined this guy's life just to prove a point to satan That's a little weird I don't know how I don't know about this and Job kept praising god after that So he was like see he still loves me Interesting ruined his fucking life

You got any more scriptures you want to go over or that was the no no no that that one just always sticks out with me the book of Job I remember when my cousin one time was telling me he saw Anthony Mason the old next player, obviously You don't know who that is He's like, yeah, I've been reading the bible the amon leviticus. It's the first book of the bible Wait, isn't the first one genesis? No I don't know man. I would have believed anything you said. I thought it was genesis though Anyway, I think that's all I think that's all for today. Yeah, we were all over the place today, man

Yeah, you know I still haven't a small feeling that I could be jesus. I've been a fight for far Yeah, I probably do it too. Yeah Not that I would I'm just saying if you started with me though if I didn't know he was jesus Yeah, I almost said jewish He was jewish, but if I didn't know that he was jesus if he picked a fight with me Like if he got drunk and was getting a little disorderly. Yeah, I think I could handle my business That's what I'm saying. If jesus turned up on me. I put him in his place. I I'm not against you. Yeah, that's all

um We're gonna find you at Daniel prairie on instagram and twitter and make sure to check out the stank podcast with me and Mr. Frank alvarez for all your favorite movie tv shows and maybe even see my toes Your toes i'm a toga now Okay, uh, you guys can fall Geez, uh, you can find me and danny probably in hell after that whole conversation about jesus. Yeah, me jesus. Cool. Yeah, he gets it. Yeah, um But yeah, you can follow me on social media at joe sanagato We'll follow the show at the base me yard on instagram and our patreon patreon.com slash the base me yard

And uh, yeah, that is all see you guys next time. Sorry jesus