The Basement Yard - #206 - Being Rich Makes You Weird

Episode Date: September 9, 2019

Let's dive into the whole Jeffrey Epstein saga. It's getting even more out of control. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. How you doing? Oh, I like that hat right nice little pink lacoste I had to brighten it up a little bit. Oh, you know what? I'm gonna brighten up your fucking audio. Thank you so much I need to hear you baby. Let my voice be heard. Damn. You're all over the basement yard right now What are you talking about? You got that new you got that new new I got that new new new you're fanning right now new fanning I got my what else do I have in here? I have Well, nothing right now. Yeah, you have nothing in there, but what I will have is my keys Medication my medicaid my inhalation. Yes, and uh Maybe my even little diabetes tester test kit

Maybe like maybe some like almonds or some shit some almonds something keep my blood sugar Regulated. Yeah, what I'm saying, but yeah, the big man going down on the street. No, but I could fit everything In this basement yard fanny pack fanny pack bringing the fannies back Fannies or fire fanny pack bringing the fanny back you heard it here on basement yard So go are these available yet? Yeah, I don't know Go check the Santa gato store. They should they should be by this time. Yeah, now that we have the sample They should they should they should be good. They should be good. This is fire. Yeah, I like it a lot

I do I like the color scheme. You have the shirt on too. Yeah. Yeah, which wasn't planned. So double up on both Yeah, yeah, both yummy yummy. I like your hat too though. It's nice and orange. Thanks A little ice pop on it. I haven't had an ice pop in a very long time By the way, I don't believe that I really haven't had it. Oh, that's not true. I actually just had a vodka ice pop. Oh Yeah, I was in the woods. So I was in the woods in Connecticut and it was like an 80s themed party I thought it was a 60s party. It was a 60s party. Yeah, cuz it was like Woodstock or whatever. Yeah I just I don't know why I said 80s to be honest with you. It's a but like yeah, it was like the 60s or whatever and I Was smoking a cigar and drinking a beer

Early, so it was a it was a long night and then one of the The women up there, she just came out with all these ice pops, but they were like You can buy them from a store that they're like vodka and like flavored whatever and it was amazing I'm like, yo, where did you find these because I'm gonna crush these how many did you have? No, I only had one of those did fuck you up It was tasted great. I didn't even taste like vodka that much. I don't know how much was in there, but they were fucking How many days you're up there? To was one that night just like the insane party night. Yeah

Yeah, so they do it every year They do it It's called top of the hill because the whole thing is like a cottage and on the top of the hills We usually where everyone parks their car, but then they move all the cars put a bunch of tables get a DJ go crazy Oh, so it's like the whole community. Yeah, you and your friends. No, no, no It's like we're not the community. It's like they all know each other up there. It's like on this lake Yeah, so we know like I mean me personally I know like six or seven houses like six or seven families

Okay, and like they all have their kids and everything come up that whatever and then there's another side of the lake That I'm not really that familiar with there's always the other side of the lake Well, they know them like, you know, Espo and Frankie it's their house up there Like so they probably know them But I don't really know them because they don't hang out with us like, you know on the day to day Yes, the weird family from across the lake from across the lake. There's another family. Yeah, so but we went up there They had karaoke big mistake. I saw you killing it on Instagram. Yeah, me and Frankie were getting after I'm not even gonna lie You're too very good. We do stuff. Yeah for sure

Yo, it was so funny because the guy that owns like all the property up there He has a house up there. Okay, and he is just like you will he looks like Super Mario Basically, but he looks like You know those guys that he has a mustache, right and like black hair, but it's got like one white streak Yeah, yeah, like the bride of Frankenstein and Like Corellasville or something. Yeah, exactly And he's always driving around on a golf cart only do it with a golf cart, right? Yeah, hell. Yeah. Yes, you know show his dominance

so he he comes up to me and Frankie as if we're like the stones and he goes listen We were the first ones to do it right cuz like everyone's up there and there's like a pretty decent crowd of people and like they put it on us Like a porch, so we were kind of elevated. Yeah. Yeah, you had a little stage Yeah, there was lights and shit So he goes listen

I want you guys to really give it to him tonight. All right, and I was like, yeah When did I like become this person but in a way he was right? Yeah, no, he was did maybe it was the kick in the ass you needed I mean, I knew I was good I was actually being funny because beforehand I kept walking up to people. I was like listen I don't really want to like shock you later, but I'm gonna do some things up there and you're gonna not you're not gonna realize how talented I have I am with this voice Okay, you know, I'm not that's out of my book, but I'm confident though

Oh, I got a lot of fucking enthusiasm. I got a lot of like charisma up there How many songs did you guys do a whole bunch? Like did you guys not in a row? Oh, no, no, we didn't do it in a row because we didn't do a whole set No, no, no, I would feel terrible if I did that, but we we went up. We did fat bomb girls, obviously Can't can't do that. Did hey Jude. We did somebody to love and We stayed on for an extra song which was so funny. Oh, you got an encore. Well, like it wasn't an encore It was just that the DJ would play songs in between things. So it wasn't just people singing the whole time

Yeah, dancing and shit, you know what I'm saying? So I just kept ripping fireball shots with the DJ to disgusting Yeah, and I drank a big-ass bottle of Prosecco but to myself Jesus Christ. It was a lot I have a lot of alcohol. I haven't done that in a while, but I was good I woke up the next day like fine, which is weird, but it was you know, but oh, no Yeah, you were fucked up cuz I was like, you know, what's the password to so-and-so and you're just like I don't know At that moment I did you know, I don't know. I didn't know I didn't know if I was gonna live or die I didn't know anything. Yeah, and then I texted back like okay, lol. I think sorry my phone

Oh, that's your phone. Yeah, that's me cuz you got a new phone kind of No, but what do you think? No, but um When are you texting me? Oh when I texted you. Yeah, I was like, you know, do you have the password for this thing? And I just got like I don't know. So I thought he was like mad at me So it's just like cuz yeah, I forget you forget passwords all the time. Oh, yeah I forget passwords all the time. Well, I change them all the time. Yeah, so I'm just like alright Okay, so like and then like three seconds later I see bubbles and then they disappear. So I'm like, oh man. I thought I was about to yell that and then I see more bubbles

For a while bubbles and then it literally is a two-word response is three words response. I'm fucked up So it took him like ten minutes to set me up fucked up and then he sent me a picture of like his chin Like this you had some bandana on yeah, and you were just fucked up your face was beat red. I was like this kid's gone I'm not texting her anymore Yeah, honestly thought you were mad for a second. No, I don't I don't know no man You know what it is cigars for whatever reason they kind of open me up to be more drunk And I sucked one down really fast. Yeah or anything The video of me dancing on Keith, whatever. I wasn't even drunk. That was like immediately. I was just feeling it had a wig

Oh, so that's great though. Isn't that the best though when you go into a party like With no prior injuries, let's say like like you're not like you're not like I don't feel too great tonight Oh, yeah, my head's not in it. You're just ready to go. It just turns on like that. Those are the best nights Yeah, honestly, my body is weird when it comes to stuff like that because even the night that we went out To see Sam Maril Very funny a comedian you guys should go follow him Sam Maril. Very funny But we went to his show and I remember going there and I'm like I really don't Like feel well, but I'm going because I like I really want to see him and

I had like a Moscow mule and then my body was like, let's go. Yeah, I was like, this is what we need I love Moscow mules. Yeah, they're great. They're tasty, but they burned me up. Yeah You're gonna be burping Moscow mule for a while. It just like burns. Yeah that day I have that because I stay up like 6 a.m. That day and then I when I woke up the next day I felt terrible like that was awful. Yeah I felt way better drinking a bottle of Perseco and like a crushing a bunch of like white claws and shit I'm surprised Perseco didn't make you hung over at all That was not the first time I've done that and I honestly I'm not even trying to sound cool when it comes to Perseco

I have never opened a bottle and not drink the entire thing You can't it's not like oh, I'll have two glasses and walk away from this. It's like I'm carrying this around No, that's a quitter's mentality. I don't I don't know my brother's wedding like you know how they have Like those cars that are like, oh, you're at table 15. Yeah, they had them attached to mini bottles of Perseco great and I Remember because like not everyone took there. She's like, oh, I know what I'm I'm going over there And that table where that stuff was was right next to the dance floor So I kept walking over periodically and just grabbing like my uncle Joe's fucking thing

Just snapping it open and chucking a mini bottle. You have an uncle Joe. Yeah, I got like nine not the same name All right. No, he's not he's not Joe. Santa. God. Oh, no, I'm a fucking idiot. Why would your dad have a brother named Joe? I don't know. God damn it. You know what? George Foreman the boxer. Yeah, he has like five sons and they're all named George Dude, how do you decipher who's male is who I don't know because me and my dad are both both Joe P He has a different middle name, but we're both Joe P. Yeah, and we're getting male. I don't know what I was like Listen, what is this you ever? You ever get like mistaken for him like by like the government at all

I don't know, but that's gonna be my excuse to never do jury duty. Yeah, cuz I'd be like I didn't know it was me I thought it was him. He's gonna be like I thought it was him. Have you ever done jury duty? No, would you want to do it? Absolutely not. What if it was like a fucking murder? No, definitely not. I don't definitely don't want to make that decision. I Would feel like maybe in the beginning you wouldn't want to do it, but then you get into it Well, if I had to do it and I was there. Yeah, then I mean, yeah I you know, I immediately start buying like long coats. Yeah fucking Sherlock Holmes because I like uh Like OJ is like all over Twitter all the time now. Yeah, he's a big Twitter. He's a big Twitter guy get on Instagram Why you putting videos on Twitter? Anyway, I mean, you know what? I didn't say that someone in his camp. Yeah

You know a little older. Yeah It was kind of funny though cuz you talk about Andrew Luck retiring Yeah, that was one thing I wanted to ask you to Andrew luck retiring and then he was like I drafted Andrew luck in the fifth round. I wish it happened an hour earlier He goes, what did I do? He goes, what did I do to deserve this and I was like did a couple you did one or two things It was actually exactly two things Andrew luck retiring is probably the easiest thing for you. Yeah, that's an easy punishment. Yeah Yeah, I think you're okay. Yeah, you've been skaten by he killed them. Oh, yeah, you know

I think at some point he will say listen Like on his death that'd be like I Don't think he will you don't think so. No, I Think he knows everybody knows he did it. So like why say what everybody already thinks Yeah, I kind of think it's like our Kelly like our Kelly knows you pissed on some people. Yeah, did you see the new Chappelle? No, I didn't all right. You got to watch that then. It's probably insane. He talks about the Michael Jackson documentary And He talks about Michael's affinity for staring at assholes apparently

Yeah, cuz he did one of those kids did say that he made Michael made him walk to the other side of the room and kind of spread His cheeks so you get a look but Dave said he doesn't believe them He doesn't believe the kids. Yeah, I That's I honestly I don't it's very all strange. It's I know it's just like he's like, yo He's like fucking Michael Jackson's dead and this motherfucker like caught two new cases I honestly thought There was this comedian that I saw on time on stage. He had there's a really funny bit I forgot his name. He has really funny bit of being like, you know, everyone's complaining about Michael Jackson like with these kids

It would ever and he's like, but yeah, I got to be honest with me when he was with who was he like married to that like woman Elvis's daughter who whoever it was, but like Lisa Marie Presley. He was like that was somehow weirder than when he was with He's like, he's like, I know it's like wrong like Morley, but visually And then they like you see Michael Jackson. He's like And they kiss on MTV and it was like super awkward Yeah, but uh, that's all strange no matter what like, you know, it's just like it's like, ah, he had a weird child That's like, yeah, but why is he playing with toy trucks? Yeah, still yeah as a grown man

I just think some people like their perversions are just like on another level and I think Mike had some but I don't think you know You don't think he was staring into little boys assholes like I don't like a scope I don't know. I don't know if all that is true You know what I'm saying? Yeah, of course, none of us know, you know, but it's hard to like In so-and-so cancel culture days, it's like, you know, it's like Like you said before he made thriller You know, so it's like it's very hard to be like fully canceled. It's fucking Michael Jackson, dude Yeah, you know, and I honestly I've always been one of those people like I know that if you like listen to his music in a way

You're supporting like It's hard for me to be like ten like that's just a Love man in the mirror, man. Yes But I don't really I think Michael like motherfucker. I want little boys assholes in the mirror I don't definitely don't like that, you know. Yeah, don't know. Oh, yeah, and then uh, dude That's so weird. First of all, like that's hard to believe like I almost want to like wake Mike up and be like Can you just explain that because like I've never seen an asshole and be like, you know what? I'm gonna give this one more second before I look away. It's always been like, oh shit. Sorry, sir

Like in the gym if I saw an asshole, I'd be like, yeah, that's it No, I got to go home and just chill because my days kind of off like what met his quota was you just like at some point It's like, all right, that's enough That's enough like is like is we talking about like Like a 30-second stare. Are we talking about a full two minute now? I don't know I don't know if he was jacking that thing a 30-second time out Are we talking about like a full like was he just admiring it or jacking that thing if you're definitely Yeah, of course. Yeah, there was a lot of a

Master base on the ranch, I think But yo, yo, it's crazy because like it's it's wild when people are that successful and they have like things like that Yeah, like yeah, honestly the like Jeffrey Epstein. I don't know if you read up like about all like I mean bits of pieces The guy was a monster bro The guy like so obviously this guy was like he was a sex trafficker and he was like fucking like 14 year olds Like minors and it was it was gross, but honestly as crazy as that is That is the tip of the iceberg. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Jeffrey's Jeffrey's where dude. I have stuff I have stuff. Can I can I ask you before you reveal the stuff? Let's just get this out of the way. Yeah

Government killed him, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure You know, maybe not the government, but definitely he was friends with the most powerful people in the world And he they all were probably fucking nine year olds Yeah on his island because by the way guys got a temple on his island He has a private island where there's a temple What is there a temple there for a raping children, yeah, it's a dirty filthy sex Trafficking temple, but so NPR when they started putting out the story. Yeah, all these allegations or whatever

Epstein apparently was trying to like slow that down or stop them from doing that so he was trying to intimidate the editor-in-chief and Vanity Fair editor-in-chief Great and Carter once found a bullet and a severed cat head outside his home When all this was going down so Epstein was like we have to do something We have to scare this guy so he stops writing stories about me. Uh-huh Send him a bullet and a cat's head a severed cat head. Okay, you know what I'm saying My only question is is where does a bullet in a severed cat head Corley?

Yeah, honestly, if I'm getting that I'm like like Nick Cage and like national treasure. I'm like, yo, it's a clue How do we the Constitution? You know I'm saying like I'd be like yeah I would hold the cat head in one hand and the bullet in the other and be like a bullet can't do this What is what thing what is the bullet signify? Yes, and then what is this bullet cat? I'd start like cat bullet. I'd start to I'm like wait Where's this cat gun bullet? Where's this bullet gun cat? Yeah versus cat of guns and also where'd you get the cat? Who's cat? Yeah, you probably bought a cat just to cut its head off. Well, I don't think he actually cut its head off

I think he had one of his like fucking nine-year-old slaves to do it like he's just y'all this guy's a freak man Like I'm telling you there's crazy your stuff in here, right? But yeah, those things don't correlate at all and he had the the painting of Bill Clinton as a woman in his house What he had a painting of Bill Clinton in a dress in his house With a blue dress and like red pumps on yeah, where in his house. Yeah, where what room? I don't know we're talking about like this is in the study We got Bill above the fireplace and there's books again It's a sick freak that's his sick bastard. Yeah, and they were buddies

Yeah, they did some kids together and they fucked each other probably yeah But listen to how crazy this shit is right? Epstein kept an assortment of peculiar items in his Manhattan mansion from lifelike human doll from a lifelike human doll Dangling from the chandelier. Whoa, that's creepy and ironic dude. How do you what it is ironic cuz the guy hung himself apparently Shit anyway, fuck that guy But you know if I walked into someone's house like I don't even know like who's the coolest I Don't even know who's the coolest person I know LeBron James

Let's say yeah, I walk into LeBron James house like yo, you have the coolest podcast man I want to do all this stuff blah blah blah. I walk walk into his house and there's a doll hanging from the chandelier I'd be like hey LBJ My ubers outside Because I can't with the doll. I'm sorry. Yeah, so he had a doll hanging from the chandelier To a human-sized chessboard with scantily clad figurines modeled after his employees Well, say that three times fast scantily. What does that mean? I think that means just like like slutty. Yeah, kind The way you do that I'm so scantily exactly like kind of dressed a little

promiscuous of his of his who have his employees Like the fucking maid is I'll be like if I came in here like the pond The fucks like the castles like his fucking janitor like the fuck is see there's two things naked janitor Peace he's got a broom and fucking dicks out. Hey Zeus. Just like fucking all like cleaned up. Yeah, um I Have two ways of thinking about this not that it's normal, so don't fucking jump the conclusions here, but You have to have a lot of money You have to have a lot of money yeah to have human like Pieces of chess board because you gotta think about you gotta like ask some motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, you see you see my

my maid Make a slutty version out of marble Yeah, cuz I'm trying to play some chess and I wonder if there is ever ones that he sent back that like weren't Sexy enough. Yeah, he's like yo get this sweater off. This isn't scantilating. This isn't scantily I can't get hard off of this. I can't get scantilated off this. I Can't get scantilated. I'm not scantilated enough now and the other frame of thinking that I go into when I think of this Freak of a man Just sick dark bastard who's going over to his house who's playing and is okay with that

I'm more worried about them. That's what I'm saying people that are going there just be like, oh man You still got that thing that thing's great. Hey person from chandelier Not only that because like I get that he's like a billionaire So a lot of people would let shit slide like if you're hanging out with a billionaire and he says something that's like weirdly racist and he doesn't You're like, okay, like I see where this one. It's like I got my eye on you Yeah, you know what I mean or like not that he like so things that are like kind of raises where he's like Hate the NBA you're like, okay, is that about because of the sport or cuz What's everybody kneeling?

Yeah, like someone you're like, all right, I'm not gonna leave but I'm gonna I got my ear on you Yeah, I want to hear I want to hear the rest of this song. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly I just want to see how it I'm gonna stick around for the second verse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but dude If I'm if I'm walking I'm like, oh shit, you got a lifelike chest thing in your living room This is sick and then I start to notice that Janet who brought the drinks over is the pawn now. I'm like, what's

This is a dungeon. Yeah, you know, I'm saying I'd be a little scared now. I would be terrified I'd be like, yeah, I'm gonna end up on the chessboard. Yeah, I'm not trying to be the fucking Whatever would a part of you be flatter to be a human chess piece. Yeah, dude I would love to be on the horse that'd be kind of cool like I'm saying my dick out on the horse with a sword I'd be kind of no not Jeffrey Epstein chessboard just like a chess piece I'm saying like they model the sexy ass chess piece after you and you're fucking Jack dude. Yeah to the gills like if you're

Yoke and like you they have like gravel gravel marble veins going through your arm and shit And you're holding like some kind of fucking weapon a sword or some shit like a bludgeon. Yeah. Yeah, and you're And you're barefoot too and you only have a little bit of clothes on you're dressed like Tarzan Yeah, I mean that sounds great. I just don't want to Jeffrey Epstein. I saw don't I yeah, I don't yeah I don't you know, what would you say something about eyes? Yeah, so he also has Individually framed prosthetic eyeballs mounted along a hallway now. What are you the Adams family? Why do you have that? What is artistic about that?

I'll be honest with you. You like eyes. I'd be poking those eyes though. Well, they're frames. You can't fuck that then It'd be really cool if you could like I mean, I would definitely treat it like a like a fish tank at an aquarium You're like make this thing or that thing a David Buster's where you gotta touch all the lights I'm doing with the eyes. I'm so bad at that game. I know He has other stuff. He kept yes other stuff. This guy's a fucking freak. Yeah, mind you I don't want anyone to forget. There's a temple on this guy's island. Yeah, God only knows what's in there I haven't been there yet. It's super temple II has like a gold dome and it looks like a mini Taj Mahal. Yeah, but it's a Taj

Rape everybody. Yeah, okay. That's what he did. He's a piece of shit. I'll tell you this. Yeah I'm never happy somebody's dead think a little better out this guy. Oh, I think that's easy I think it's safe to say. Yeah, I mean if we found all this stuff, you know, you know It's it's in someone's I would even go as far to say is that if that if if we didn't know about any of this and someone walked Into his house and then shot him in the head and they got arrested and they would why'd you do that? You'd be like, he'll just walk in and go to floor three. They'd be like, you know what? Let's let them go Yeah, it makes sense. Okay, because you know woman Bill Clinton And then he also has he has he kept prosthetic breasts by a bathtub that he could play with while bathing

You can't even take a bath without sex. You can't like you got to just like Pinch nipples while you're bathing, you know, I'm saying Jeff come on. I'm just saying again Not the worst part Yeah, I know I know if I stayed at somebody's house not Jeffrey Epstein's house and they had titties by the bathtub I think it's a little weird, but I'm not saying I wouldn't touch. No, I'd not give him a ride You know what I'm saying? I'd like a little bongo slap. Yeah, no, I'd give him a I'll give him a spin But all I'm saying is like when you got all the other things. Yeah way too many toys Yeah, yeah, you gotta pick one. You gotta pick between the titties the eyes

The hanging chandelier man the chess pieces Bill Clinton. You gotta pick one the temple Jeff. You got too much You got too crazy. He's a spoiled. He was a spoiled perv. He's a spoiled perverted freak fucking bastard. That's what he is And I'm sure there's other stuff, but I you know, I was reading this thing and it was just Yeah, if you were super rich though No, because you're rich. Yeah got him No, if you were super rich, yeah, do you think money makes you kind of weird? No, no one gets to this because of money. I'm not saying I'm not saying I'm not saying everything he did

I'm just saying like money makes you weird. Yeah A problem. I mean, you know, like would you have it like a titty on the side table? I don't know See, you know, but that's the thing when when you're so rich to the point where this guy literally like never in his life Well, I don't know about in his life because I really don't know anything like fuck about whatever. No, but I'm saying No, I'm saying I don't know if he's ever if he's been like this rich his entire life I don't know that. Yeah, but the amount of money he had It was never a thought that I can't have anything. So I was like, whatever idea I can think of I can make that

Yeah, that's probably what happened. So it's like and then also pushing the boundaries of what you can have And then there's titties next to the tub. Yeah, and then See titties next to the tub is funny until you think about everything else is fucking ass-holed it Oh and another thing this to fucking bastard had had like a a bathroom on one of his Houses or whatever and there was like dentist equipment in there Wait, and you know, he's not getting his teeth cleaned In the bath. Oh, he's probably using it on kids. That's what I'm saying or or on hit. I don't know This guy was yo, this dude's crazy, dude

Literally everything you could possibly dream of Of cycle having yeah, and the worst part about is More people knew about it than than we do. Yes, and that's why that's what's even worse And that's why this dude died in the prison the way he did because he committed suicide But think about all the because he was cool with trump. He was cool with bill clinton Oh, yeah, and it was like all these people it's like, you know, you don't think these people were flicking the nipple when they took Baths at jeffrey's house what I'm saying or they you know, you don't think bill posed for that goddamn painting Imagine he got in the dress man. I'm telling would you put it past bill clinton the dress up like a woman and get painted?

I don't think I what no Got the sexual freak. Also. Here's what I'll say too if bill clinton liked to wear dresses Cool bill do it wear a dress. I don't give a shit But if you don't like wearing dresses and your buddy jeff paints you in a dress and puts it above the fireplace You're going back to you go where I'd be like if I walked into your apartment And there was a framed picture of me In a dress with lipstick and a big wig. I'd be like See you I'm not doing this

It's a it's a yeah, take it down. Take it down. Yeah, uh, yeah Dude imagine that it would be terrifying Now I think if I had a portrait of you Anyway, that's weird. Just you like dress normal Like if it was if it was just like your nightstand Like drink like great gatsby just like drinking like champagne like you like going like this. Yeah, that's weird There's like a candle in front of it. I'm like, oh, what is this? Yeah Now

Dude, I can't even this is the craziest shit. I've ever heard. Yeah. Yeah Now this is the man that will send a fucking bullet and a cat head To a person to try and intimidate them You think you he was gonna sing like a canary probably too Who jeffrey? Yeah, he's gonna be like I sucked all their dicks. Yeah like some weird shit Yeah, yeah, no. Yeah, and like they're all probably relieved because he's dead now because they he would have they would have found everything He would have told everything he would have like, you know what I'm saying But you don't run sex traffic rings by yourself

That probably would have been the start of like The most insane dominoes fall. Do you think we'll ever have that? Like in this country like where like Like initial domino falls and then if we go it actually makes it all the way to the last domino We don't like these rich people who are like, right? I think so. I think at some point it will happen Absolutely, and I think there's probably a lot of evidence like it because this dude had multiple estates He's got a fucking temple. I'm sure there's something in there and like records of whatever blah blah blah And now we're piecing it all together like I think some stuff's gonna come out

Yeah, every day something comes out about this fucking guy. I know apparently I just learned about the cat head You know, isn't it weird how when you die all this news comes out? No, I mean yo, I they were doing an investigation That's what I'm saying finding all these things that he just got to prison, right? So wasn't there like two weeks or so? I don't know but apparently he said that someone's trying to kill me and then You know, he got killed the next week so Some guard has three point two million dollars in his bank account. Oh, yeah, actually not his bank account

It's stuffed in the walls. Yeah You know, but I would even think about it though Let's just take him out of the equation Okay, you're a prison guard, right? Somebody comes up to you and it's like, hey, we want this guy Right and we'll give you x amount say five million dollars. Yeah Take care of business say like I don't know what you're talking about

I Like that needs to die to be very honest with you. Uh, the world's better off without that guy But the world would have been even better off if he stayed alive. Of course because then we would have got everybody You know what I'm saying? Maybe Hillary was there too. I don't know Now you're gonna start talking to Hillary being like dude, we don't know you don't know bills on this plane doing shit His plane was called Lolita express Which sounds like a dope club. Yeah, like I would go there at night You know, but like

This is how freaky you are though. You don't even try to hide these things How freaky you are that you named your plane the Lolita express People have to know that dude That just sounds like a Spanish party bus. Yeah, that's what it is or like an old Spanish porn Yeah, you know This guy's a fucking like how That's just like goes to show you though when people have so much money and power

Like people will do anything. Oh, yeah to for your money. Oh, yeah You know what I'm saying? Like he was probably helping out all these people with like whatever their campaigns or this and that So they just let all this slide. Like I don't know how that's like even possible because if I met somebody and they were like Dude, I I'd be like I worked this guy's house and there was a I thought it was a human hanging from the chandelier, but it was like a sex doll Money money makes the world go round, buddy. I don't even fucking money in that bed to be involved with that shit Get the fuck out of here. It means you're you're partially a scumbag too, then

What not you I'm saying if you like go along with it Yeah, now you're like part like, you know, this shit's going on and apparently he had fucking pictures of like naked not like paintings of like Young children. Yeah, like laying on like tigers and shit like weird shit Anyway, I think I'm looking at the man in the mirror Yeah, that's what jeffrey should have done piece of shit Yeah

Freaks man. Uh, anyway, I think this is a good time to get to the sponsors Oh Oh What? No, man, it just it just makes me sad that that Yeah, man, and listen, I'm not trying to like We got we got to make fun of it. I don't care I'm not saying anything about I had a plane call the Lolita Express. We're gonna make fun of it

Yeah, come on man. Like the guy had titties on it by the bathtub. Come on now like where you would put soaps Yeah, he's got nipples Like I gotta say something about it. Dude, even yeah, like I was saying like the deja-pal thing He literally opens up like the special. I won't like ruin anymore for you. He's like Anthony Bourdain had the greatest job in the world He flew country to country and ate amazing food And had conversations with amazing people He killed himself

And then he goes I knew a guy in law school Who got married in law school? I told him not to get married. He ended up getting married Got divorced in law school works at footlocker now. Never once started about killing himself I was just like, yo, Dave is Going after everybody in this one. Yeah, deja-pal is just a fearless person Yeah, I was just like, dude, I could not have the balls to say that like yeah I mean that's what separates some people I guess. Oh man, he does this whole bit on trannies. You got to watch it, man It's good

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Bet win get paid people. Okay I love all those things. I love all those things. That was nice. I In in you know, since we're talking about like weird news, you know, we're talking about jeffrey and uh I really wasn't didn't know where we're gonna go michael jackson today, but uh There's another thing I saw online today. I'm like, what this is kind of it's just funny like the I'll read the headline Astronaut denies claim she would allegedly I'm gonna restart Astronaut denies claim she allegedly committed what would be the first crime in space

Kind of fire too. So what do you think a space crime is? um Like because when I read that I'm like where this bitch steal like a piece of the moon Yeah, would you piss on like piss on mars or something like what is a space crime? I don't know I didn't even know there was space law. I didn't know there was space law either. Technically, that's not earth I don't abide by the law Yeah, I don't think there's space rules like where does the law end is what i'm trying to say I think as soon as you leave earth's atmosphere, you could do whatever you want kill. Yeah, just kill. Yeah

But you can't come back because now it becomes law But if you kill and stay in space you just kill Not only that but who's gonna arrest you in space? Oh, they got space cops. They don't have space cops Yeah, they do there's not one cop in space You don't think there's space cops. There's no space cops I looked into it Imagine if you were a space cop that'd be pretty fire though. Yeah, you're like you have your own little personal fucking like They all they all do make that noise. Why don't they do that?

It was like the like the jetsons. Yeah. Oh man. The jetsons. Yeah jetsons are great Yo Mrs. Jetson That's a fire housewife fucking robot too. I bashed that too. I wouldn't bash the robot You would sex it Sex it like like you would have sex with that robot. No, I wouldn't fuck the robot. I don't fuck robots. I don't fuck with them I'm scared robots dude You don't think a malfunction can happen and something happens to your penis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we do have extremities

Yeah, I'm afraid that if I go inside a robot and then There's a malfunction and like closes up it tenses up. Yeah My dick's gone now. You know, it's weird um You lost it. It's okay. No, no, I have it. I just I don't think I should you're confused about no I just don't think I should say it But i'm gonna say it. Okay You know if anyone ever tried to make me suck their penis. I bite it off

You'd bite their dick. Yeah. Yeah, would you tell them you're gonna bite it? Are you surprised? I would surprise them Oh, so he's like So he's probably in his mind like, oh my god, this is about to work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah And then he gets his shit. Would you bite it off or you just give him like a nibble so he'd back off I would kovayashi that thing you would bite it off and eat it But then what you would eat it. Yeah, just send a message. Just send a message Damn to eat his dick. What if he's got like a pretty decently sized dick? That's a lot of chewing

I've handled Whoa, you've handled more like more food. No, I don't I don't doubt that I'm just saying now not a bigger. I haven't handled a bigger penis. What I'm saying is I've handled bigger foods Yeah, yeah, I had like octopus last night and it was kind of thick But like and it was kind of chewy So I'm like if this was a whole man's penis It would take some time to get it down. Is phallic food weird for you Some people don't like eating phallic food

No Like I knew a guy that broke bananas specifically because it didn't want he didn't want it to look like he was sucking a penis Like guys like fucking hyper masculine like yeah, we were also like 17 and he was like, yo, I ain't sucking no fucking banana I was like, all right, dude, relax. That's no fucking not gonna come in yet Yeah, so I'm saying like first of all, no one's like watching you like yeah Fucking dude skinny the banana. He's so gay. Why don't you eat that banana gay boy? It's like dude. I'm cramping It's like I'm really trying to turn over a new leaf and be healthy. Yeah, I don't I don't understand Like there's people out there that will do that. No, dude. You ever see Frankie eat a cucumber? Sucks that thing down

Yeah, dude, it's fucking hot actually that doesn't surprise me at all that kid's mouth is amazing What does that even mean I've seen I've seen this you have to be there Dude, I've seen this kid suck a cucumber like you would not believe man. It kind of changes Dude, you bit that onion that time. How did he do that? I don't know man. He bit the shit out of that onion though He's got a fearless mouth. That's what fearless mouth fearless mouth. Yeah, and like I don't have that No, my mouth is full of fear. Yeah, and bacteria. Yeah, you know, well all of our mouths are You know what they say like there's like thousands of bacteria in your mouth. Yeah, and they say it's like good bacteria I don't what's that? I don't know but bacteria has a stigma has your kind of just riding with that

Has your dog? Oh, no the thing is is with the hand sanitizer They said a king cleans 99% of all germs when it's like, yeah, but it like kills the good germs What the fuck are you talking about? What's it isn't germs bad? What's a good germ? Yeah, tell me. Yeah Scientifically break down a good germ to me. Is that kind of like with the spiders where it's like, oh, that's a good bug Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was like it's in that same realm. You know like when we were talking about that like I don't want any bugs Yeah, yeah in my house and the thing is I don't want germs. I don't want any germs. Yeah clean my shit up Yeah, that is weird

Good bacteria also like yogurts like made with like Bacteria or whatever. Yeah, I'm like what and then who's figured out that cheese is just old mold Yeah, like who was like let this thing get old probably tastes better if it does Strange think about all the people that tried all these foods for the first time. I know I know that's fucking wild dude And another thing that's crazy too is like how we like we just like Like original people hunted, right? Yeah, and now it's like we could just go buy chicken in the store. Right, right, right That shit is mad weird. Also. Do you think I'd be dead if I had to hunt for my food

Well, yeah, dude, I mean imagine like that. Imagine like after the show like we went and hunt like hunted Yeah, it would take all day, dude. You know how hard it is to catch a chicken Dude, these guys get dressed. I watch them on youtube and they get dressed up and like sit in a tree with like a Fucking deer whistle for like nine hours going I'm like, I don't even know what deer sounds like that. Yeah, dude. Deers are weird sounding So I'm like, yo These guys are like there's an elk there. I'm like, dude, you've been here since six o'clock in the morning How are your legs not asleep? He probably sprayed like their piss on him, too

Yeah, they do that like they go out of their way to smell Like like urine so that they feel safe because you know, if you smell piss You feel safe in the animal world, but it's crazy because in our world You smell piss and you're like, this is a dangerous spot Yeah, like when I smell piss, I'm like not a good neighborhood I gotta get out of here because it's there's no policing here. Yeah, you know what I mean? But in their world, they smell piss. They're like my boys are here Right, so it's a little different with humans and you know the rest of the animal kingdom

Listen, I know this is a socioeconomic thing, but like If we go to queen's bridge right now, the streets are so dirty. Yeah Just does the street cleaner just make a left turn when it gets there like what's going on? I mean, they clean it First of all, street cleaning is so stupid to me. Where does it go? You are not cleaning. Where does it go? Yo, the street sweepers in new york city It's like yo alternate side get the cars off because we're gonna clean the streets Bro, are you cleaning the streets? Are you just like sending it in a world wind?

Because these trucks are driving by with this thing with bristles and just kicking it onto the sidewalk It's just like, yeah, we're gonna take all the cigarette butts from this side of the street And we're gonna put them over there Yeah, and then we're gonna hope that the wind takes it to a different place. I don't understand how it works Nothing's being cleaned. Now if it was no water, no soap Water and soap are the defi that's how you clean Not bristles. Yeah, I'm not bristling my anus When I'm trying to clean that thing. I'm putting soap and water on that

Bitch, you know what I hate too when people have those fucking sponges that are those bristles with the juice in the top of it What the hell are you talking about? Like they'll have like a brick like like You kind of have one. What you have it. What am I talking about? You have it right there, you son of a bitch Oh that came with the apartment You put soap in that Oh, you do and it like comes down through the bristles Oh You hate those it's dumb and also but the other thing that's dumb too the shaving cream when you have the the

The uh, what is it the the fuck? I don't know. You know what girls powder their face with? Oh the Yeah, yeah, yeah, it looks like that. It's like soft, but it's soft and you put like shaving cream on it looks like a horse's tail Yeah, who's doing that? Wait, oh wait, what you're shaving cream. Oh, I don't think anybody if I saw a man using that on his face I'd be like just pack it in there. Do you not touch your face a lot? I don't know I don't like go out of my way to not

But I don't know if I I think I do I feel like I touch my face a lot. I like to yeah, like I mean Yeah, I like to ponder so I'm just yeah Where are your hands when you sleep again? Do you do this no one sleeps like this do I sleep like this? No, I sleep like a bitch sometimes I'm like this you sleep. I'm here. Jordan. Yeah, you're taking a jump shot. You're like, uh, bang. Yeah, I think I sometimes I sleep like Like I sleep like a bitch I sleep like how girl cartoons sleep. Okay. That's hot though. Yeah, like I'll get crawled up in a ball. Yeah I was watching euphoria the other day

And zendaya. Sorry. Everyone kills me when I call her zendaya. Sorry. Is it not zendaya? No, it's not It's like zendaya or some shit or zendaya. I don't know whatever Do you want to watch like how high school isn't real watch that show? Yeah Everything sorry everything that could possibly happen. Yeah happens in that show nobody in my school ever fucked someone's dad Just saying yeah, anyway They tackled every that's the problem like not the problem and like I guess it's like, you know, whatever but Like 13 reasons why in euphoria. They're like, let's tackle the real problems in the high school Which is admirable, but to do them all in one shot in one week

Geez, have you started watching season three? We're getting a little stankish here, but I'm gonna let you know In the beginning of the show they have listen, you know, blah blah blah, you know The if you're looking for stuff go to 13 if you're looking for tips Like crisis help go to 13 reasons why dot info The whole new season is about them solving like figuring out a murder like who killed someone It's like, yeah, if you want to figure out how to solve a murder in high school go to 13 This is the reasons why there's high school kids at solving murders. Yeah, and I was like this that this never happened What is the school be do I'd never solve the murder in high school once I've and also I wouldn't be allowed

No, my parents would be like you can't do that. No, you're punished. Where are the parents of the show? Where are you out with discovering weapons? Where is the police? How are you getting to the evidence before the police? I don't get it. They're covering up the covering up school shootings now What is happening? I'm like, this is not high school A kid got pushed down the stairs a couple times and this is why I've said People got a shit. Yeah, and you're shitting a urinal and you call the day So I'm saying you're shitting a urinal. You were sweatpants your senior year and that's it. You go home God damn it now. I'm not saying that boys can't be boys and do stuff. They're not supposed to that happens

Yeah, of course like listen, I know that at football camp sometimes like back in the day Someone would jam a broomstick in someone's ass. Yeah, but that doesn't also happen while everything else is happening Yeah, the same day. Let's just focus one season Around one run one anal probing. That's what that's that's all I ask All right, I don't want to see a guy And get something shoved up his butt and somebody dies and we gotta figure it out who it is Yeah, Tony's gay and then there's a whole I'm like, what's going on? It's like, oh now there's there's a transgender and then it's like how we get this is like

Yeah, it's every single thing is like now in it's a fuck man. It's like one season. Let's have a transgender season Dude, we're not that's what I'm saying solely on trans. Let's just go trans 13 reasons why Transgender season let's hit it. Let's do that. Let's come and I'm about that like because that's a real thing I'm about that life. I didn't know any transgender people growing up. So I and I know that it's more like prevalent now because like it's, you know Safer and it's like, you know, it's out there more. So it's like, yeah There's people who come who come out as transgender earlier in their lives. Yeah, I feel like they can which is great So that is like a whole other thing. Yeah, you go to high school and like now you experience that sort of thing Let's let's get a season of that. That's fine. And let's keep, you know, all this other shit. Yeah

Separate let's not go this route transgender girl Possibly murders high school quarterback who we find out we're dating and that it was a sex Out of love crime and he's got two gay dads. Yeah, who also killed The the transgenders person's mom who's racist who's racist. Yeah, how what and sells drugs Yeah, like dude, let's slow it down. Whoa I know Not everyone does pills. No, there's a very there's honestly, there's high schools out there None of this happens. Yeah, you know, if I was in eighth grade and I watched 13 reasons why I'd be

Fucking scared to go to high. I'd be like, oh my god. Someone's gonna drive a car through our fucking house Yeah, and then like in the beginning like watch this with your parents. I was like, what are we all gonna become better detectives? I'm watching here You know, it's like I can't agree with you more Let's handle one fucking subject at a time It's just a lot for me to like get behind because I'm like I you listen I know that like, you know school shootings are like very prevalent and it's honestly I'd be scared today

Like sending my kid to school. It's scary. Of course. It's scary because it's happening more and more more I get that but that on top of that on top of that I'm like, well now we're getting crazy. Yeah So I wouldn't even let my kid out of the house of shit like this was happening at a specific school Nor would anyone by the way. Yeah, who would be like, oh, yeah, there was a murder this girl committed suicide Uh, you know the asian indian, uh The gay kid the emo girl or whatever got together at a coffee shop and kind of like put this whole plan together I'm not letting my kid go back to school. Fuck. No that group

I think oh, yeah, and then also the other guy tried to kill himself on the first season And now he's fucking out here solving crimes Then the guy shot his head off What what are we doing Netflix? It's just a little it's a little wacky and listen We're playing pretend. It's it's it's a show. It's exaggerated Dial it back though, you know You're going too far left. I'm going right Yeah, that's how confused. Yeah, yeah

But it's just you know that show I I just it's a lot for me Dude, if you even start season three, you're gonna be like, this is the most ridiculous fucking thing I'm gonna say what happened to realistic high school shows. You remember in the 90s It was like, oh the nerdy girl gets tricked by the jock because there was a bet and now She gets hot and he goes. I really want to be with you and then they're in love It was that was it. That was it. That was it. It was like, oh guy meets girl. There's a there's a quarrel Yeah, and he makes out with the cheerleader at the fucking party and then you know the next week They're there together and they you know, whatever they kiss in a pool

Or like even back to the future when the guy biff is getting too handsy with his Future wife and he goes in there knocks him out. That's it knock him out to care of it Yeah, but you don't have to have her doing pills You know what I'm saying? She's got a good waving a gun around. She's got 700 tapes of some fucking shit. She did Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, what kind of dad? Uh Man, I don't want to give away euphoria, but I'm just saying there's a lot of shit in that show And this all stemmed from how she sat in a chair and I wish I could do it

She sat in a chair with her knees up like this and her feet on the seat Wait, what are you talking about? Like What the fuck are you talking about? You know how cats sit? Yeah, yeah Like they could like this and her feet were up on the seat. Okay, and there's and I tried to do it. I can't do it Let me see if I could do it It has to be on the same seat like this. Yeah, I can't do that

Should I try? I mean, you gotta you've got some power over there. Yeah I can't do it Yeah, I was doing yoga last night. I had to modify all the stuff till I get around my belly was fantastic Yeah, yeah, they were like go to warrior one. I was like, I love something in the way there Go to warrior one. It's like I'm gonna go to warrior like 0.75. I told you where my heart rate got up to Yeah, like 150 like 158. Oh, that's like me and a dead sprint. Yo, I was like, dude I am the most out of shape person. Yo yoga is like not a joke though. No

It's like it's toughy tough and it's like you have to uh What's this word you have to keep your everything like your court like activated Yeah, yeah, you have to activate all your muscles and I was like, all right. This would be I was like, dude I'm fucking sweating. It's seven minutes into the goddamn workout. I was like, oh my god. I'm done Yeah, dude, it's fucking tough. Yeah, we do hot yoga. I would die. I would die You I was gonna say don't recommend it. Yeah. No, bickering yoga or whatever And I sweat like that some girl I worked with she was like my mom has the studio. You should definitely come do it I was like

I could barely breathe. I go to the bathroom. I'm not going in there. Yeah, you know Just struggle to get my socks on I'm saying man, brushing my teeth makes my triceps hurt. Have you ever had a moment where you real Makes my triceps hurt Have you ever had a moment where like You're in bed And you're like, dude, I can't even get up to brush my teeth right now. That's how lazy I am right now Yeah

All the time, dude Not in the morning, but at night. Yeah, that's what I'm it's mostly at night in the morning. It's I do I'm not walking out with this shit mouth. Yeah No way. I'm getting Anywhere close to somebody with that shit mouth. Yeah, there's no way. Hey god amazing thing you did with the body there Fixed my fucking mouth hole. Yeah, Jesus And then who's the fucking asshole that made all good food be bad for you that tastes phenomenal Also, like onions are sick. Why are you gonna make or like garlic's awesome? Yeah

Why do I gotta smell like it for a week? Dude, I eat one fucking gyro. I smell greek for like a week It's the worst Can't stand it You ever like eat something it's disgusting and then it like comes through your pores and you're like, dude I just smell sushi right now. Oh, yeah The worst is when you burp and it's like everyone knows That it's you. That's me. Yeah, you know, I had that disgusting that really mean that california roll. Yeah california roll

Um, oh the other thing I was gonna ask you to we talked about it earlier in the week and I want to see what people think about this When I make phone calls to companies, you know, like if I have some business I have to handle with them a lot of the times they need to use my my name. Obviously, they asked me for my name. You're wrong I I don't know what I just said you're right. I said that I thought you said hurrah and then I was like, what? I thought you went hurrah. I meant to say like, yeah, and I said you're wrong. Yeah, uh, yeah, right What the fuck was that? You're wrong

You're wrong Oh, man, you're wrong. You're wrong Someone clip that What time is it right now because I'm going right to that when I watch Like an hour. All right. I'm going right to you're wrong Okay, you knew it too, but you're like, I just want to see if you just didn't catch it. I was like, please go keep going You're wrong. Um Oh god

So you know how you gotta give your name, right? Yeah, and we me and joe are talking about this When you spell your name, you have to say Letter as in word That starts with that letter. So every time I do it I go Danny, which is easy. They get that one. Um, Uh, then low priori, I'll say l o p is in peter r i is in igloo or e as in edward

All right, and I asked joe What words he uses he doesn't do that. I have never done it That makes zero sense to me. Why? Because no one ever on the phone has been like, hi, sir, uh, a n n As in as in nicolas or michael no one's ever said that to you Maybe but like I feel like the n is the only one in my name Like I just break it up into threes because my last name a a could be j No, no k

I'm just saying if I say a and you're hurt k. Whoa, but I don't It's on the phone, man. You shouldn't be working on the phone Then if you can't differentiate those bad boys I break it up into threes because there's nine letters. So I say s a n t a g a t o I'm just I can't believe it's never occurred to you to be like i'm gonna make these days this person's day a little easier You know how long that would take me to be like s as in salamander a as an alligator You could you shorter cell and as a night writer I

It'd be funny if you did that, but you'll use like sexual terms S as in sex x as in sucking a as in anal n is not right now nipples t as in titties a as in asshole It's like sir, we get it. We know how we know how to spell we have it in our system. What would gb gash? Yeah, or like goo

We're children we are teasing goo A as in anal once again anal again t as in tomorrow. It's going down and oh and oh my fucking god. Oh, baby Oh god, I can't believe you don't do that. It's so weird. I don't think it's not weird I think it is well, it hasn't been a huge issue Usually people I say they go. What's your last name? And I say santa gato and they go santiago And I'm and like that baffles me that I could literally say at all How does that not baffle you that I that's someone no because I don't say that

If someone if you ask me my name and I go santa gato and you're gonna go santiago and I go fucking no You just but if I don't know you I could have misheard you can't miss here if I'm in person with you If I can't miss here, you can't because if you just heard me. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. That's not true Have you ever met anybody and be like, hey, what's up? My name is andy. It'd be like dany andy. That's happened to you That's happened to you You know joe's easy you can't fuck that up I mean in a loud play in like a bar when someone's like, hey, you know like andy and like not dany and like, okay cool But if we're just like at the bank and I'm like santa gato santiago

Like I don't know how you did that. Does that bother you when they do that? It doesn't bother me. Come on spanish Usually when people come up to me because sometimes people come up to me on the street, but they'll call me joe santiago Yo, you're joe santiago. Yeah, and my friends love that. Oh my god, because it's like they know you but they don't You know, so he's like So people come up to me and say are you joe santiago and I'll always just say yes Oh, yeah, like I'm not gonna correct someone. Yeah, because like I get it, but I'm never like it's santa gato it's like when people call me daniel And daniel's not my name. Yeah, dany's real name is dany like on his fucking birth certificate is dany

Which you were baffled by it's that shocking news You're just like you're not as shocking as a you know a fucking body hanging from a chandelier, but you know we're fucking It's on the spectrum scantillating fucking yeah, it is on the spectrum of scantillating But dany yeah, and I remember he was like, yeah, I need like your name for like your you know For work for the paperwork And I was like dany he was like come on dick like like daniel right and I was like no my name's dany, dude And he was like that's mad weird that is yeah I've never met another dany ever

There isn't any No, this is so easy for the government to watch you there's people now because they got my dad shout out to my dad Your dad's also dany. Yeah He's not daniel. Yeah, I don't know, but I have a cousin named daniel. Yeah Now that's normal You're abnormal Your name is abnormal, but I like it. I think it's cool I have a y in my first name. You ever think you ever think about shit like that. You have santa in your name

Yeah, it's weird No, yeah Why is that weird because it's saint something. What does god oh mean cat? Yeah, but what does it mean in italian though? Fucking no like saint gate The gate gate saints I doubt that I could look it up google translate that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, try to figure that out. I wonder what god oh means in italian It probably also means cat

Dude, I've been using google translate like a lot. Yeah, I love google translate I don't know. I love the shit out of it because my door words in there my door man speaks spanish So i'm working on like my advanced spanish now. I talk to him every day like try to get new stuff I'm on google translate all the time Really? Yeah, also. I was using google translate like crazy in sweden. I didn't italian the english got those got Got those got those not like how you say it? How you say it? All right, so I'll put How you say cat in italian

Well, I'll go english too. Yeah, that's what i'm saying. I gotta go english to italian now Got got that or a goto with two t's is cat. So it is cat. So maybe they changed it at at Ellis island Ellis island. So I think maybe they dropped a t off. Joey gato Yeah, that's straight up cats. That's straight up cat joey joey cat. Yeah, so joke joe cat. So i'm like the saint Of cat. Yeah, but fuck cats because i'm allergic to those but you kind of you could be a cat. I'm kind of catty Yeah, you're kind of cat. You have catty eyes Right, yeah, you can sneak around. Yeah, yeah You do have catty eyes. I never noticed that until today. Oh, I got cat eyes. Yeah, but like they're sexy though

You know what i'm saying? Like you don't have god damn slow down on them Woo only go full throttle. You know, it's good though. You don't have white people lips. You got nice lips on you Yeah Thank god, bro. You know, you ever see those white people that just like yeah, bro. My mom damn. She better not be watching Oh, damn. You sound your mom. Yeah, I saw my mom. My mom's lips are like Yo, her lips, man Yeah, we're not Yo, I never noticed. Yo, josh. I know you're watching this. Don't clip that. Yeah, no, no, no

She's got to just I just not yeah, yeah, yeah Not be it. No, I mean, yeah, my mom's beautiful and everything but it wasn't blessed with lips But I get it I feel bad i brought it up now But like no, i'm just being funny aside from your mom though. No, i'm just being funny. Have you ever looked at somebody and she's been like Yo, that motherfucker got no lips. Yeah, because like, you know at at least like You know, you could look at my mom and be like I could see that she has But you can see other white people and be like, i'm not even sure if you're like tugging your lips in

Yeah, something about that scares. They don't even have like, you know how lips are a different color than your cheeks Yes, yes, yes, you're like, yo, I just see cheek. Yeah, like where does the like this is a human skull. I'm talking to you right now You know It's like, dude, are you thirsty? Yeah, god damn, dude. Look, you're fucking down. You all dried up, bro Like a fucking shower. Yeah, man, but you do you got a big deal. You got some good lips on you Do I I think you'd both have good lips. I have one good lip. My bottom lip's like cool My upper lip could need some work. But what do you mean? Like I don't think that's a good lip, dude You think my top lip's cool. Dude, you got a good mouth. I think

I think my bottom lip is like I like it's super solid and it's probably like the centerpiece behind my whole face No, dude, somebody smooches that face. They're going for a ride. You know what i'm saying? No, but i'm saying like that my lip is like probably like my bottom lip is like what pulls it all together Like the glue of my face. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would say that I would say that and then my upper lip But your upper lip is nice too, though Why you hate on your lips? Hey, I'm not hate. I'm not hating on my lips. I'm hating on my lip All right, so one lip singular. So what would be your ideal? What would be your ideal top lip? I like, you know, maybe like 0.2 of a centimeter added to the top lip

Oh, you want a bigger top lip Damn, you want all that cushion No, dude, I could tell you right now. I mean look at that To me do a lot of people are gonna flick their being in this episode Keep puffing those babies out a lot a lot of freeze framing this week. Yeah, the boy puffs them out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, you ever see You better fucking say it out

I'm happy we do share the the the same Like when people like don't have like lips kind of scares us a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Who likes that? No You got to have something. Yeah, you can't just have like, you know, there's got to be a discoloration at least Let me get something. Let me get like something man. Yeah, or just like just be smiling then for show Like if I had no lips, I would just be smiling a whole bunch because like when I smile you can't really see that many Look like you know I'm saying like my lips kind of like they get thinner and maybe they disappear a little bit Yeah, you're like, all right Happy guy. I could get down with that. Yeah, but

just like And I feel like I can see into your mouth and shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Also, don't smile so big in your pictures. Not you. Yeah, I'm just saying when people you know, it's weird when people Open their eyes wide for pictures. Oh, yeah What is that about? Yeah, it's like the god the photographer had a gun. Yeah, it's just like You know what? You know what else I hate? I'm like, why are you doing that? Your eyes look fine You're supposed to be squinty-eyed when you're smiling. Yeah People always tell me I look Chinese when I when I smile like really wide. Let me see like when I yes, Chinese

Yeah, so yeah, so I can get a little so people always like, you know, I bet you got a little asian in you I was like, I don't You know, I guess I I mean that's extremely racist, sir. Thank you Yeah But uh, you know what? 23 of me will figure this out. All right, so this is gonna get you know, 23 of me send us a couple fucking kids I would do that shit Well, I got like spit in a bottle and send it to the government

Yeah, so fucking Jeffrey Epstein can make a clone of me on his fucking island. Fuck that And fuck the shit out of your clone. Yeah, y'all probably fucking ruin me real quick. I know you have something Wait, hold on. Yeah, I just want to say something real quick because I don't want to I Don't know if I should say it. All right, let me do mine and then you think about it Okay, all right If you had a clone of yourself, would you fuck your clone? No, man I'll fuck my clone. Why I want to see what I'm working with. I want to see if I can give good head. I would get head for my clone

That is about the most ridiculous thing maybe ever said on the show is it gay? Oh, yeah, that's some form of gay It's me, dude. I'm sucking me. Yeah, but that's on the spectrum. It's it's it's chancellating. Yeah, it's though Well, that's definitely scantily. Yeah, but like if you if you do yoga you keep doing yoga And then you could throw your legs over your head and start sucking yourself. No, no, no, that's different Now that now I'm sucking myself That's what you suck in yourself with this. No, no, but I'm one person. I'm one unit sucking my own thing Yeah, but if I had a perfectly same clone as me sucking another man though No, it's a clone. It's another man, but it's a different bodied man

You wouldn't let your clone suck your dick. No, man I'm not into fucking first of all. I'm not fucking no clone because I don't know what kind of like clone diseases They have all right. Don't fuck it not into dudes I'm just saying I would want to know If I'd be good sucking that thing. I know but you could just ask somebody Yeah, but that's too much work and then you gotta worry about what if they're gonna tell somebody I could just ask I'd be like, yo gay clone He's gonna. Oh, yeah, I can't fetch my I could send my clone to suck other cocks. Yeah, you didn't think of that one

Yeah, I know I did He said me like I need to get Because yo, what if you love it now? You're just like that's weird. That's a weird life to live No, I do you love yourself. That's like a black mirror episode when you really think about that Yeah, you can't have you can't be walking around like with yourself and like loving You know your own mouth like well then people would think you were just weird twins Yeah, yo, that's like ins it's like yo that crosses so many yo, honestly like Biologically that would confuse your body and you'd probably die if I came into myself

If you loved you and and fucked your clone like I think your body would be like, yeah, is this me? It's got my shit, but also And then also like maybe I would start thinking I was the clone or that's what I'm saying You get confused like I don't know if I'm even me or who I am It's like it's like those scenes where there's two and like one person has to shoot like the real one Yeah, nobody would know no you wouldn't be able to look at yourself bro think about like that's like like kind of gay kind of incest kind of Uh fucking just like straight up strange

Uh, you know what I'm saying and like yo when you think about it, you can't do the incest thing You can't like make you can't If you make kids with someone with your dna You know what I'm saying? It's like all those things. Yeah, it's very 13 reasons why it's a lot of things happening at once One season packed into one situation. Yeah. Yeah, and you're like, yo, there's a lot happening Yeah, it's hard to follow and who knows what could come of that your body gets so confused and you die Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah, you got to just shut that down man. Get rid of that thought

Yeah, maybe just send him out in the world and let someone else like report back Yeah, I I won't let my clone suck me I just saved your fucking life. Yeah, you did Thank you, man. Appreciate it. I don't know where I go sometimes, you know Yeah, I know I know sometimes you get excited. Yeah, you really got to think about this. No, you're right. You're right Because you know scientifically it just doesn't like there's a lot of different like paths you're crossing. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, like I don't care if you suck a clone You want to suck a clone or get sucked by a different clone? Yeah, maybe I could suck the clone. He could just tell me

But he's not the same thing though. You're going back to it. Damn it. It's got to be someone else's clone It can't be your clone. Wait, my clone can only suck other clones. No, no, no, no I'm saying he like if if johnny down the street has a clone, right? You guys could suck each other. Oh, okay. All right, and that would be fine But you because then that would just be like a You know a weird like that would be like a like a I don't even know it'd be like, you know, cloning humans can't be fucking man Yeah, you can't fuck yourself. There's too much like weird dna stuff going on there. Yeah, so it would be like the weird dna stuff with

And then it's like a gay relationship And then but at least it wouldn't also be like Kind of incest but also like this weird meta. Yeah sort of situation That would kind of cause your head to melt It probably mess up like what like the time continuum too would probably like Changes like a timeline because when you think about it, we do we are like there's electricity running through our bodies Yeah, and that would just throw water on the whole operation and we'd shut down So no, you're right. You're right science prevails

that being said Clones are gonna get fucked one day. Yeah, for sure dude I'm telling you this in the next 50 years like mad rich people are gonna be able to clone themselves Like there'll be an Oprah clone Dude imagine that that Jeffrey Epstein cloned himself. He probably he probably tried he probably had like a bunch He probably had like scientists there And there's like they're living underground. Yeah Living off the earth and they're like, you know what I'm saying like a bunch of weird

and all fucking each other messing with the with the whole like Universe honestly, I wonder if like america's ever tried to clone a human and just went drastically wrong and came out like Yeah, probably kill me. Didn't they didn't they clone sheep? Yeah And I think a woman cloned her dog once Like a rich bitch. I mean, I probably cost pretty penny to clone anything. I'll clone my dog though the show I'd clone a dog. Yeah. All right

Man, this is have has been a ride. I'll be honest with you. It's been one hell of a ride It's probably one of the most fun episodes. I've had it. We went everywhere, man. Yeah, and it was like Full throttle the whole time. Yeah, there's the it was high octane today. It's cancelating episode. Oh, it's cancelating 100% Um, before we do go though, I want to read some of these names Of our patrons on the show, um, if you're in a certain tier You know, we're supposed to read your name and we just haven't done it in a while So I want to do that and I apologize, but that's just me forgetting and that's just like, you know, I'm saying

But I remembered is that in a in a mist of all that Clone shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Just remembered. So we have some names um Joel Johnson Shout out to the man Joel, uh, Ruben Castillo Angelica Visoraga My god, was that a stage name? That should sounds great. Lolita Express Ryan Stashko Eddie Chavez Isaac Ross

Lissy Lee Damn, what does Lissy Lee sound like? Point star. Yeah, uh, Giovanni Morales, Ben Malone, Jacqueline McCoy, Stephanie New Newland, uh, Moe Alcandari Taylor Marie Rose Everyone knew it. Taylor Marie Rose in high school. They were just a salt of the earth Her parents bought a party bus for like your soft sweetest girl in the world, but you never could get her She's always dating somebody else, right Like, you know, and yeah, and you kind of you thought you had a thing

Like there was a thing. There was a moment. There was a moment, but but it never got there ever Not even close in her mind. Uh, alex bowman Uh, kevin quadrado Allison the brachio. Oh the brachio Daniel K. Nora B. Joel shulman A shulman, uh, robin dominique jannis chislow, sebastian Hjort, I don't know if I pronounced that right. Curtis wilson, tiffani davis alias basha uh

Andres baez Uh, eddie rejiv pronounced that wrong, uh, sonny sparks. Okay, buyer. Hello, uh, david Uh, trey jackson julie los, justin con sydney paterson jonathan england Uh, tony de angelo We got oh tony eggland. I wanted to say. All right, so I just I wanted to read some of them

um josh vay alex parker thomas brown Megan falcone ronan tinsley Uh, shout out to all you guys man. I you know, eventually we're gonna get to all these names I wanted to mention you guys on the show this week. Uh but yeah Cesar castillo, zack manly marvin malay. Keep going. Andrew jackson. Damn. That's a family. That's a family father, son

I thought he was dead. Yeah, jessica nicole gave uh, gabriel valas marcus smith robin uh, nanan, uh, yeah Uh, sam chatman and the last one we'll do it today is rachel moose So shout out to you guys. I appreciate you guys being patrons of the show if you want to check out our patreon Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Uh, you get some Uh extra content you get a new a fresh episode every month exclusive just for patreon That we do there. Uh, there's some q&a content there and you get every episode a week early So go check that out patreon.com slash the basement yard. We appreciate all of you. Thank you so much

and Yeah, dany, you got you want to plug something? Yeah, just uh at dany lopri on instagram and twitter Make sure to go check out the stank podcast with me. Mr. Frank alvarez talking about your favorite movies, boobies and video game tubies at at the stank podcast on instagram and on youtube Yeah, go go follow the stank podcast on youtube. Also, I set up a page for uh, san agato studios like all the content that comes out of here Just go to facebook.com slash the san agato studios

Um, and everything's going to be posted on there. So if you have facebook you utilize that it'll pop up on your timeline But the stank other people's lives my shit this shit everything will be up there. We out here Uh, but yeah, that is all see you guys next time by the fanny packs fanny fanny up fanny up