The Basement Yard - #207 - Joe Falls Off A Mountain

Episode Date: September 16, 2019

On this two hour episode, we talk about Joe's near death experience hiking in Utah. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. How's it going Danny? What? Did I scream? No, your voice sounded a little weird. I'm all fucked up for my trip. So you got to go me me me me me. Try it. Me me me me me. There you go. No, no, no, no. My my me my more. I'm not gonna do this. You could do it. You have vocal range. I have a little bit of range. You have range. Yeah. I have like a mid range. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Those were different. You can try it. No, one, two, three, four, five, six. I'm not playing this game. It's not a game. It's I'm just trying to make sure you know they get the best audio quality. Listen,

everything's fucked up. My ears are weird right now. So we sound weird to me right now. My own voice sounds weird because they haven't like popped yet from the plane last night. So like I can hear myself like in my mouth or whatever you know what I'm saying. You know when you have like your fingers in your ears and it sounds like you could hear the inside of your mouth or like when like you're underwater. I mean, yeah, kind of. You kind of can hear your mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I hear what you're saying. You ever go underwater and make noises like a whale? Yeah, of course. And you're like, does this work? We used to do that. Me and my siblings,

we'd be in a pool and try to talk to each other like dolphins. Did it ever work? I mean, we didn't know what each other were saying. But you could hear them. Yeah, I could hear them, but you know, definitely not as efficiently as whales. Do you remember like weird pool stuff or like you'd be like, yo, let's both go at the bottom of the pool and like do a spin. Yeah. And then come back up. We had a big dildo looking rocket ship that you could just like launch at people like it would fly through the water. So me and Keith used to play this game where you sit on the bottom of the pool and try to hit the other in the dick. That's a great game.

I know. It's a good game. It hurts your ribs though because it's a heavy rocket. Did it float? No. It sank. It was dense. So you were like fucking throwing a trident at your brother's cock. What was the, I feel like there's such an obsession of men hitting each other's cock, hitting each other's dicks. What's that about? I don't know. I think we just we want to inflict pain on each other. I don't know what it is. I never understood, like, yo, I'm going to hit him in the dick. Oh, one thing I want to say before we get off of that game that me and Keith played, I never won. So my dick has been destroyed by that thing. You have post like traumatic dick disorders. PTDD. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah, we used to play

that game. We also used to sit across. You know, yo, this is another really true story. We used to sit across from each other in my bedroom. Wait, so the other story was true, but this one's really true. No, no, no, these are both true, but it's going to sound like I'm making this up now. So me and Keith used to sit on each on other sides of the bedroom with our legs up like this. Okay. And just pack socks into like a big sock because you get a lot of socks into a big sock. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You make like a mega sock and then you just get like this big dense ball of sock. And then we just launch it in the air and you couldn't move. And if it hit you in the dick, you lost. Yeah, it's like it would land here. So we get you scared. You know,

we used to do that with what are those orange balls, the pink balls, spaldines. Oh, like hand balls? Yeah, the hand balls. We used to do that with hand balls because we saw it on that jackass episode where like they put like targets on their dick and they did it with like a dog bone and like stuff like that. That was probably honestly where it came from. Yeah, probably. But also one time we were playing that game and I threw it at Keith or he threw it at me. I don't remember what should happen, but we flinched and then the cabinet behind us came down and hit us. Oh, and we were kind of stuck. Yeah, dangerous came. I remember one time like, have you ever hurt like your sibling really bad? Like while like no parents

were there and you didn't know what to do. Yeah. Yeah. Those are some of the scariest moments like as a child. Like I remember one time my brother, Mike was chasing me, right? Yeah. And he was like, yo, first Mike went through like a phase where like whenever my parents would leave, he wanted to fuck you up. Yeah, he would beat me. He beat me beat you senseless. Yeah. But like, I guess at some point, like, you know, fourth grade, you just have enough, you know, yeah, I've had enough. I've had enough of this. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, I'm not. So I planned this out throughout the whole day. I knew my parents were going to leave this like home alone. Yeah. I also begged them not to leave and told them what was going to happen. They didn't care.

Thanks. I but I feel them. I'd be like, oh, Mike's going to hit me. It's like, cool. See you later. Yeah, they didn't give me we're going to dinner. So as soon as they would leave, Mike like starts chasing me off the bat, like a dog, like I would say five minutes out of the driveway. And we had like rocks in our driveway, like gravel. So it was like, you could hear them back. Yeah. I was like, oh, no, no. Yeah, they're leaving. So we have one of those loud Ford Explorers. Hell yeah. So they drove off and I was like, it's coming at some point. So I said, what I'm going to do is is as soon as he touches me first, I'm going to go down and like act like I'm crying. So like he like backs off, play some possum. I played some possum. Yeah,

I played some possum, dude. I got up and punched the ever loving shit out of him. Blacked his eye in the grill in the face. Damn, ran out of the house. Wow. And I went to my friend's house, my friend Brian's house at the time, and I called Mike. Damn, you were running through the streets. I ran through the streets, dude. I didn't like I left the house. Like I left the house to the point where you go down. He went down to the point where he couldn't get me. Okay, like I fucking it was a hit and run. Yeah, it was a hit and run. I snuck them real nice. Yeah, I had to do that. I was desperate to shit. Yeah. So bang, I hit him. I'm like, immediately I have to leave. I have to run now. Yeah, because the repercussions are just too much to my tree. So I'm out. I'm out.

I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I run like 15 blocks. And I get, yeah, I get to my friend Brian's house. And I call and I'm like, yo, Mike, like, I'm sorry. He's like, yo, just so you know, when you come back here, I'm going to kill you. So it's awesome. Yeah. So basically I walked around our town until like, I would walk by and see if my parents car was there for like hours. It felt it was only like four or five hours, but it felt like it was an eternity. Wow. Yeah. So Mike went through this weird phase where he beat me up. Did you go through like a weird phase where like Keith beat you up? No, I mean, he didn't get into like fights all the time. We never hit each other. We get

into a lot of shoving matches. You never fought your brother. No, like I, I do this iPhone. You've never like never knuckled up. No, I, we never punched each other. We've pushed each other and like screamed at each other. But we never punched each other. I did try to punch Thomas once because he was had me pinned to the ground and I got an arm out and I swung at him and he like dodged it and was really mad that I did that. So he slammed my head against the floor and I was like, maybe I should have not have done that. Yeah. Yeah. But me and Keith one time, Keith was, oh, I think I slapped Keith once and I shouldn't have done that because Keith could have beat the shit out of me back then. Like Keith is sad. Oh, so he gave you a pass. No, no, no. So here's

what happened, right? So I was afraid of Keith because Keith could fuck me up. Yeah. So I like, I don't know what happened, but I slapped him and then he just like looked at me and I was like, this is not what I want. So I immediately started running. Yeah. And I ran out of the house and in our front yard, there's like a cement wall that separates our yard from the neighbors. Yeah. Because they're connected and I just started running out of the house and I got to our like yard and I, I don't know why I ran onto the grass, but I did and he's fast. So he caught up to me and fucking pushed me so hard. I hit the concrete wall and there's this like big ass heavy triangular block. Yeah. That's like on top of it. And I absolutely crushed it and it fell off. Damn,

lots of superhero shit. And we both kind of looked at each other like, wow, dude, like I was in pain, but I was also like, dude, you're fucking crazy. Like, what are you doing? It was an amazing feat of strength. Yeah. And it was like, you know, another time I slapped Mike too. Once mad hard. There's another time I slapped Keith down and then he chased me around the house. And then when I got downstairs, my mom got between us and just, and I was like, I was like, and then, and then she was like, what are you doing? What are you doing? And then, uh, Keith was just so mad that he couldn't beat the shit out of me that my mom is standing in between us. And he just goes, I know she goes, she goes, stop, stop, stop. And he just goes, oh, like that.

But my mom flinched and then she slapped up dog shit out of him. It wasn't meant for her. Like, he was just mad, but she flinched. She was like, you're just like talking about the hippie. And just fucking rocked his shit. And then I was like, oh, man, I got to go. Yeah. Like, because now I'm double trouble here. Like I'm, I fucked up big time. Yeah. So me and Mike were slap boxing in the front of some of these house. Like they were in a party once and like Mike was just beating me up. So I was just like, oh, damn. So like he hit me with like one, like one shot that like hurt more than the other. So like I'm rocked now. Yeah. Yeah. You're dazed. Yeah. Yeah. I'm rocked. So like, I'm like retreating a little bit. Like I'm running and he's chasing me. And

I'm like, yo, I'm going to turn around and slap the fire out of him son. So I just turn around and it's on video. Oh my God. We run out of frame, like we're, we're slap boxing and it's there. And then we run out of frame and all you hear is oh, then he like got me like started beating me up. But I was like, oh, I slept their shit out of somebody. But yeah, fighting your brothers. It's like, I never really fought any of them. My sister was me and Michael fought. Did I ever tell you the story about how Keith made a cookie disappear? I didn't tell you the story. I feel like I may have told it on an old ass podcast, my siblings, but there was one time because my sister is like notorious for throwing the

remote at people when she gets upset and like we can't hit her. So we just got to like clench our teeth into the explode out of our mouth or whatever. She threw a remote at Keith because they were arguing and he got so mad that all he had in his hand was an Oreo and he threw it at her and it just missed her and hit the wall and disappeared. Didn't hear a sound, never found any crumbs, just disappeared and I'm not lying and I'm not exaggerating. It hit the wall and was in another dimension. He threw it to Hogwarts. Keith had four nine and three quarters, whatever the fuck it is, it just went into the wall. Keith has superpowers. He pushed you through a concrete wall. I didn't see the Oreo leave his

hand and just saw a black blur and then it just nothing. I was like, what just happened? We all just kind of stood there and were like, where'd it go? And it's an Oreo cookie I get, but the cream part, how does that shatter? I'm telling you, the kid has superpowers. Yes, he does. He has to have some kind of like from another like realm or something. That's what I'm saying because he used to do all that stuff on his bike. Keith has superpowers. Yeah, he's a maniac. But me and my brother have fist fought before. I don't recommend it. No, you shouldn't hit your brother. I don't think you should fight like that, but sometimes like rough your brothers up. You got to rough each other up from time to time because you got to show like I had a master like guillotine side

neck crank because my brother's hands are always better than mine. But I was like, if I could get close to them, I could just hold them there. So I would just hold them and be like, why are you wrestling? We're not wrestling. I'm like, yeah, dude, I'm trying to survive. You know what I mean? If I don't do this, I'm losing. Bad. And I got no pride, dude. I'll grab your fucking nuts. Yeah, dude. I'll bite that fucking lake. The odds are already stacked against me. Me and Jared have never fist fought, but we've gotten close. Have you ever fought my dad? Have you ever fought your dad? No, I never said my dad one time was like, sometimes your dad will challenge you though. And like a party was like, yo, like I'll fuck you up. Yeah, I said that before. You know

what I'm saying? Like, like my dad will stand up real fast and I'll just be like, what are you going to do? Yeah, you got to do that sometimes. I think a part of them wants you to do that a little bit. Like my dad, even 20 years ago, could fuck me up like today. If I stayed this age and my dad was 20 years younger, he would kick the shit out of me. I'm still very afraid of my dad. But at a certain point, you get into your 60s and like, dad, listen, I give you a nice push, you're going to be tumbling. Yeah. I just got to the age where I think if I hit my dad, I would hurt him. You know? Yeah. No, you could have hurt him a while ago too. I know, but I'm just saying like, back then I would question it more. Now it's like, if my dad gets mad at me now and like

tried to hit me, I just let him hit me. Yeah, you're like, all right, dude. Yeah, yeah. All right, you got me. My dad's big though. I know. My dad's big dude. Swing high. You know, speaking of what I was fighting, I was fighting for my life this weekend because I went to Utah with my friends. We were hiking in Zion National Park, which is fucking beautiful, by the way, but I don't recommend doing what we did at all because we flew in on Thursday. Well, we flew in. Yeah. Wait, what? I left Wednesday. So Wednesday, I had a flight at like seven o'clock and then it's like a four and a half hour flight, but then there's a time change of like two hours. It's like two hours earlier there. So when we landed,

we had to drop, we landed in Salt Lake and had to drive four hours to Zion and we did that right off the plane. We rent our car, drove four hours and then we had to drive to this spot that we would get our permit for this hike called the subway. If you look it up on like Instagram, like the subway at Zion National Park, it's fucking beautiful. Wait, hold up. The hike was named the subway? Yeah. Oh, I know. I would have hated this thing already. I think it's because the way that the rocks are shaped is kind of like the subway. Oh, okay. You know what I'm saying? Like the fucking like the New York City subway. So it was a four. You got on, how long was the flight? Four and then the drive was four. And what kind of cars do you guys get? I don't know.

To get like a Sprinter van? Like there was a shit ton of you guys. Oh, no, we had three cars. Oh, okay. That's about the same. There's only four of us in each car. But we drove to where we had to pick up the permits for that hike and we just parked in the parking lot and slept in the car for like three hours. Why? Because our Airbnb wasn't ready yet. So we were basically homeless when we landed in Salt Lake City. So we slept in the cars with our bags and then got our permits and then immediately did the hike, which is not recommended because this is a no sleep and we barely ate. All we had was like bars. You know what I'm saying? So we didn't really have food and we didn't eat. We didn't like hydrate properly. Like I hydrated the day before.

But who planned this? Yeah, I mean, I didn't. I didn't. Right. I was like learning things on like literally like I found out that we couldn't check into Airbnb when we landed in Salt Lake. I would have lost my mind. I was like, wait, we're sleeping in the car? Like, yeah. I was like, okay. I would have lost my mind. I would have flipped out. There's no way I would have made it past the land just landing in Salt Lake City. Yeah, thank God you didn't go to that because it was a lot. But I'm not even kidding. I almost died on that first day on that. I literally almost died. All right. Like legit? Like legitimately, I'm happy to be here. Really? Yeah. Like I'm happy to be sitting here today. I'm playing with house money is how I'm going to describe it. But let

me just so yeah, yeah. Can I get can I get more of a elaborate? Yeah, you're going to people say they almost die all the time. No, no, no. This is not like one of those expressions. Like I'm serious. Like you're going to need a Xanax after the story. But at first when we got there, right? So we slept in the car. And when we woke up because the place opened like eight and we got there like a little before 5am. So we were like, let's just like sleep in the car, which you can't sleep in a car. Like it's tough. Like I didn't get a good three hours in. You know what I'm saying? And it was fucking creepy. It was like pitch black in the middle of wilderness and shit. It was mad like courageous bees like bees just not moving when you swat at them. They're mad

courageous out there. Oh, I'm an idiot. I thought courageous bees was like a specimen of bees. Like yellow jackets. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, oh, there was courageous bees. I was like, damn, those are like the mean ones, right? Yeah. No, no, they were like, they just wouldn't move. Like they were crazy. But no, so we wake up, my friend goes inside. So what time is it? Now it's 8am. We woke up at like 7am and we were just kind of like walking around and like doing whatever. But at 8am, the place opened up. So my friend went in to get the permit. And when he came outside, he's like, yo, I got to talk to everyone. And I was like, okay, what is this? Like gather money or something? No. So we get in a group and he tells us that

he's like, all right, yo, first off, like there's a flash flood warning for today. And it's 20%. But at 40%, they like shut it down. Like you can't do it if it's 40%. And he's like, yo, she told us if we see murky, if the water starts to get murky, or if it starts to run, if the water starts running faster to get to higher ground, because there's about to be a flash flood and you'll die. All right. Two things. Yeah. One, what's murky? Like if there's like sediment in the water, like it starts to get like cloudy. Okay. All right. All right. Because that means that it's coming from up top and like dirt being right, right, right. You know, I didn't want to prolong

and be like, yo, I don't know what this word means. Give me the murky death. All right. And then the second thing was no, thanks. Yeah, I know. Cause immediately I'm like, what? And it gets worse because she told him that like you got to get to higher ground and we're all like, okay, like how hard is it going to be to get to higher ground? You know what I'm saying? Because like, I don't know, we're not like scaling this motherfucker. Yeah. But so she says that like get to higher ground immediately because it's going to be a flash flood and then just kind of like wait it out and then, you know, continue, I guess, which I wouldn't have done. No. So there was that. She also says that in the past three weeks, three groups have missed the exit because it looks

different than when you enter. And if you miss the exit, her words prepare on staying for the night. All right. So they have like, no, stay in the park, like in the woods, because if you miss it on the hike, you're going to miss the exit. And then it's like, you're going to, if you walk past it, you're just going to keep walking. And that by that point, you'll be too far away and you'll just be sleeping in the woods. Wait a second. Yeah. That's what she said. She said, prepare on staying for the night. I would have thought like if you miss an exit, like there's places to like sleep like camps. No, you would have to make your own camp, survivor man, that shit. Yeah. And sleep. Yes. In just like a canyon. Yes. So she says that then she out again. Then she also

says that if you get hurt, prepare, prepare to stay for the night again, says that. And I'm like, yo, what is this woman's thing with sleeping here? Because I'm not staying in the fucking woods. And so she says all that. And then we're like, you're hurt. You plan to stay for the night. She was making it like known that no one's going to come help you because it's hard to get to you because you're so in a helicopter in there. Well, there's no way to land a helicopter inside a fucking canyon. You could do that cool thing like in movies like hang on to the like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah, this woman's a sociopath. Well, I mean, she I think she's preparing everyone for the worst because you know, whatever. But we're all just kind of like,

all right, whatever, like we'll be fine. Like let's just go. So we go 13 of you. How many 1212 and which is the max you can have. So we go and you know, the first like half mile is just like a very paved road. It's like normal. And I'm like, this is nice. You know, like I was even I think I was even saying stuff like, yo, this is so cool that we're doing this. We're out in like wilderness and like there's chipmunks and like lizards and like shit running around. I'm like, this is cool, you know. And then, you know, we get to a point where we take pictures. I posted on my Instagram and it's like you could see a big valley or whatever, like the canyon. Okay, okay. And it was the picture I posted where I was wearing the white shirt. And that was like the right in the beginning.

Immediately after that, like literally 20 yards away, we get to a point where like, yo, is this right? Because we have to like climb down into this fucking canyon, but like at a pretty decent fucking inc like decline. Okay, so jump down. Oh, so it's like, you have to hold on and like jump down and like jump down to different rocks and shit. But like to your right is just like a big ass fall and like you're you're it's a wrap for you. Basically. All right. So how far into this walk is that like time wise? 15 minutes. So shit starts getting shaky 15 minutes. It wasn't shaky because I was like, this is fine because it still felt like cool. Like it still felt like not dangerous because yes, there was a big fall next to you, but it was a good amount

of distance away. Like there was a good four and a half feet to walk. All right. So you would have to be an ass kind of an asshole to fall off that one. Yeah, you would have to like hit the ground and roll like stop, drop and roll and hit it, you know, but you could slip. Like if you slipped and fell like you're not going to fall off because you can still land on your ass and like whatever. But if you slipped and like someone pushed you or some shit, it's a wrap, but you might be dead. So we get down like we're climbing down for a good amount of time. We finally hit the water and then we're like, you know, because when you get to the river, there's like a river there. Okay. They had to follow. I thought you dropped and just dropped into water. No, no, no, no, no.

It just kept swimming like swimmers. No, it's like a river. Okay. So because we're hiking, we knew we had to like hike through a river at some point. So we all had like the proper attire or whatever. But we went into this thinking it was like a six to eight mile hike and it ended up being like 12, which is so much further than we thought. Dude, six to eight sucks. Yeah, that already sounded horrible and like, but 12 miles is way fucking worse. Fuck yeah. So we start going and, uh, you know, we're like three hours into hiking and it's not the, and we're taking our time. Sure. Like we still have to figure out the trail a little bit. There were times where we were like getting lost and being like, yo, is this the right way? And then we found the right way,

or we were stopping to take some pictures and shit. How long did it take you to get like an hour, a mile in like an hour? Well, I don't know. Cause I wasn't like tracking how far we were going. I was just like, let's just fucking get there and get back because it's one line. It's like, you get there and come back the same way. Okay. Um, so we're like three hours in and I'm like, yo, this is fucking long, dude. And then we finally see somebody and we're like, at that point, I'm like, we'll think how we're going the right way. Yeah. And then we're like, how much further until the end? And the guy's like, ah, probably like an hour. And I was like, dude, what? Like, I thought it was like right around the corner, you know, and he's like another hour. So you're a ways in already.

Yeah, dude. We're like four, like, no, we were like three hours in at that point. So that was like, that would make it four hours to get there, which they were like pretty accurate. And then you got to come back. You said, right? Yeah. So we got there and it was fucking beautiful, dude. Like, it's insane. Like if you go to my Instagram, you can see pictures of it in videos. Like, it's unlike anything I've ever seen to be inside a canyon. The walls are just super high and there's like water running and like there's animals and shit. Like it was just, it was, it was insane. So you would say like from this point to this point, you guys are okay. Yeah, we're totally fine. Okay. Like it was a long hike, but like I don't mind like my legs aren't

like given out on me or anything. You know what I mean? Like that, like it wasn't strenuous and it wasn't like dangerous. It was just a long hike. Yeah. But the problem with that is that you pack a certain amount of water for what you think the hike is. So after we, and there was like, you know, cold pools that ended up like whatever, like there's like holes in the mountains where they ends up pooling. So we were like jumping in the water and shit. So then we're like heading back. We're all joking around like, yo, we'll be back in time for the 30s and I football game and like blah, blah, blah. We leave and then an hour and a half into hiking back. No one has any fucking water. Mind you, it's 100 degrees out in the desert. Like it's Utah. So it's dry and it's hot as fuck.

So I'm sweating my ass off. I've never been this thirsty in my life. And like you think you know thirst and then you get to this and you're like, what is this thing though? Because we have an eaten. We haven't slept. Like we got off a plane and immediately did this thing. And we're all dehydrated. Like you would not believe. Now, when did you take your last sip of water in terms of like your own water? Like an hour into like on the way back. So we still had a good amount of time to go. Right. And I'm also worried because the guys like, yeah, we're gonna miss the exit when that woman said that. I'm like, I'm not trying to sleep at this bitch. No, I'm saying no water. Exactly. So I'm thirsty, but I'm like, whatever, run away back. So I'm just like hauling ass trying

to get there. But you know, other people in our group are like taking it slow because they're getting very dehydrated and they're tired. And you know, your our legs are tired. Like you're fucking walking for so long. And you're walking on rocks and shit. So it's like a different kind of exercise. Sounds all this sounds terrible. Keep going. Yeah. So we get like, we kept walking ahead of certain people when they would stop. And then we had like whistles. So we would like whistle and find each other again, because we didn't want to leave anyone by themselves, because we didn't want anyone to miss the exit. So then it started to become like evident. Like, yo, this is a legitimate problem that we're so fucking thirsty and have no water. I we literally

had like, like that much water, I would have been like, Oh my God, thank God. Yeah. But it was like half of that. And I was taking tiny sips of it from my friend's water bottle, just to keep my mouth wet. It's like you're doing like literally just like that. Yeah, just to keep my mouth wet. My lips were so hard. And it like I couldn't swallow at one point, because my throat was like dry. And but it's like whatever, like we'll get there. Like I'm not going to fucking pass out from this shit. But as we're walking back, see this old couple walking towards us, and I'm like, Oh, at least we get some like judge of how far away we are. Yeah. And I was like, Yo, I was like, how far do we have to go? And he's like, Are you are you like, we don't know where we're going.

We're trying to find the exit. And I was like, Oh my fucking God. So that scared me for at first. I was like, Oh shit, like now no one knows where we're going. And then and you didn't see these people at all. No, we had just that was the first time I saw them. And and you know, I'm looking up at the canyon. And it's called the narrow. It gets it's called the subway, but it gets narrow now narrower narrower when it comes to like the subway. So it opens up. When you get close to the beginning. So I'm looking up and I'm like, these are way too high. So we definitely come in from here. So I'm and then I found I found like another rock in the distance that I'm like, that looks like it like it's it. So we're going to walk towards that. Like how's your mind working

at this point? Are you frantic? Not frantic at this point. Okay. Like at this point, I'm like, you could still make decisions like, Yeah, I'm good. I'm totally fine. I'm like, I'm tired and shit. But I'm like, whatever, I'll just like fight through this. It's like, at any time, like in sports when you're tired or whatever, you're like, you know, I'm going to keep going or whatever. I didn't want to stop because I'm like, if I keep sweating, I'm going to get more dehydrated. Like I just want to finish. Yeah, because I still have my legs under me. Like I'm I was good. So we finally get to the to a sign where it's like, this is, I forgot what's called like left trails. I don't know. So it's like, here you go right, like perfect. And this is where the incline

starts. So now we're super exhausted. Or like at the end of this thing. And we go to we start climbing. At this point, people are like throwing up because we're so dehydrated. Oh, this is bad. Yeah, it's like, it's a it's a problem. But at least we know where we're going. You know, so it's not that bad yet. So we get up there and we start moving, like some people are staying behind. And at this point, we're like, yo, because Oh, Pete Espo and MP went ahead. Okay. And I was with them at first. And we're like, yo, just give us keys to the car. We'll get out, get water and like bars and shit. And we'll bring it back. Come back and say the fat people. Yeah. You guys, you guys split it into survivors

and and style and I get it. I get it. No, but it wasn't even like that. First of all, I didn't fucking make it. But they they so they went ahead. So we assumed they got out and they were like, whatever. So we're on our way up. And we get to a certain point where in the beginning, I remember my buddy Dio like had he was going slow across it, because he's like, yo, this is mad creepy. It was like the only scary part of the whole hike. I ended up just walking past it in the beginning. But then at the end, I went to walk across it normally because I saw some people like I had like that we like are part of the group. And I just fucking slip. And my legs come out from underneath me and I hit the side of the rock.

And this is the only scary part because it wasn't that long. It wasn't that like fucking wide. So my legs are kind of like hanging off. And it's not like a thousand foot drop or anything, but it's a very steep hill that once you start sliding, it's like, you're not going to stop sliding until you're just tumbling. Yeah. So I would have died. And if I would have survived, I would have been fucking banged up after that. Right. So I grab as I slipped and hit the rock, I grabbed this branch and I'm like holding on to this branch on some movie shit. Yeah, literally on like some movie shit. Like did the initial fall hurt you or you like, no, no, no, it didn't hurt. It's just that it was I was like, I need to survive. So I was like calm at first.

I was just like, and I just told some people had some people were like, yo, are you good? And I'm like, I need help. Right. Like I'm saying it like that was like, yo, I need help. You don't want to panic. Yeah. Like I need help. Like I'm not like, you know what I'm saying? So this kid, Brandon starts walking towards me. And I start slipping. Like my body's just sliding off of this thing because of the the fucking like the declines that and I go, yo, I'm slipping. I need help. So he starts like running towards me. Yeah. And when he gets close, I slip, but I grabbed the branch like closer to the root. So you let your hand off to grab it. Yeah, I kind of like went like that. And I pulled myself up

from this from this branch. And then when I got up, I like put my arm on, he like grabbed me and just like pulled me to like a safe location. Now shout out to Brandon Burke, by the way, my, my, uh, my guardian angel who kind of saved my life on that mountain by pulling me over there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, of course. Yeah. Jesus. This was like the second time I've ever met him, but I love that guy for life. Also saw him in a Speedo for like 35% of the trip. So I know like a lot about him. Nice. You know what I mean? I know what that ring looks like around his penis. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? That's more important. That's what I went to Utah for to see, you know, dudes in Speedos. Yeah. Just see Mike get a little closer to my friends, not save their

lives. Well, yeah, he saved my life and he showed me that ring. Didn't show me it, but I caught a glance. Yeah. You got a gander. Yeah, exactly. So shout out to Brandon. Also, you have a friend named Dio. Yeah. I thought you were saying Gio, because you have a friend named Gio. Gio and Dio. Yeah, man. Well, he's Giovanni. What's Dio? I don't really know. I mean, I just This is also like the third time I met him. But yeah. So after that, I'm sitting on the side of this, whatever, and then Pete's there. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? Because they were ahead. Didn't they go to retrieve everything? And he goes, yo, we don't know where we're going. And they were, we didn't see them for like a half an hour. So they must have been there,

like looking for a place to go. So now we're fucking lost. It's 100 degrees. We're lost. No self service. No water. Everyone's mad thirsty. I almost fucking died. And so that's team A is up there. And then the fat, the fat groups all the way back here. They're not the fat group. You guys left and they're like fat pigs. No, no, you got to rescue them. No, they were smart. They were taking it slow. Oh, I thought you were like, yo, we're going to go get help. No, they were like here. No, try not to eat each other. And then we're going to go save everything and then come back. No, man. Oh, okay. All right. So they were, they were just like slowly. They were taking it slow. They were very tired, but they were like, yo, like they were, they were like,

they're going to take it slow. I just wanted to get the fuck out of there. I would have been in that team as well. Easily. I wouldn't the leader of that team. I've been like, yeah, let's head back five minutes into the log. Yeah. But then so now, now I'm freaking out because like I said, I almost just fell off this mountain. So like when that happens and you get like super nervous, like if you are the most hydrated you've ever been, your mouth just goes dry. So now on top of being dehydrated, my mouth goes dry from that too. I can't swallow and my whole shit feels like sandpaper in my mouth. So I'm like freaking out. Like I'm like, y'all guys, I'm like freaking out right now. Like I'm not even going to lie to you. Like I'm losing it because

we don't know where to go and I can't go back. Like mad things are going through my head and we're sitting like my feet are like this on the ground because if I left them flat, we'd slide off onto the fucking, you know what I'm saying? Like we're sitting on the side of a mountain and it's far down and we have to just sit there. And now I feel like, you know, we're sitting ducks. We can't call for help. We can't find the way out all this shit. This Asian. No service. No service. This Asian dude who we had saw like earlier on the, on the trail like caught up to us. Asians are good hikers. That's good. No, they are. That guy was Asians and white people are fantastic hikers. Dude, this guy was a fucking all star because he's trying to find the way out too because

he doesn't know where the fuck to go. He climbs up this fucking trail that was like obviously not part of this whole fucking shindig and causes like a mini rock slot. Fucking rock rolls down. It was gigantic rolling down heads up and we all had to like stop and like let this thing drive by. Jesus. Yeah, it was fucking scary dude. And I thought this guy was going to fall off the mountain. I was like, dude, I really don't need to see someone die right now. Like I really don't need this shit. This was the, this was the Asian man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Describe him to me. Was he, was he like muscular? Was he, was he, was he thin? Was he short? No, he was just like a, you know, an average build guy kind of guy. Was he Asian American? What do you mean? Like was

he really Asian? No, he wasn't like, like Asian, like from the Goonies. No, no, no. He was very Americanized Asian from what I gather. Right, right, right. There was no accent or anything. I'm just trying to see like what we're working with here. No, who's saving you right now? Right. Yeah. So he was trying to save the day, but then we ended up finding a way out like after a while. Like we were stuck for a while and I was losing it because now I'm like, my anxiety is like super high because there's so many things going through my head. Like I'm worried about me because like I'm worried not only about myself, but I'm like, yo, if I'm this fucked up and like scared and tired and dehydrated, I'm worried about my other friends. The fat group. I knew it.

I'm worried about my friends because some of them are throwing up, but I'm like, dude, that would make you even more dehydrated because now you're getting rid of any sort of fluted. It's fluted. Fluted. So I'm worried that like, you know, if we can't find a way out, like this is, yeah, there's a lot of things going to happen. At one point, at any point, did you think like I had to record like, uh, no, like death. No, no, no. I wasn't, I wasn't giving up. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. But I really was scared that like, yo, we're going to be here until dark. And then at that point, we can't see at all because there's nothing around. Did you guys have anything for for that? No, I had a bracelet though that had a compass and whatever that like you can make a

fire with it. Right. A flint. A flint. Right. So I had, I had that just in case, but that probably would have took three hours anyway. It's like, I don't know how to do this. I feel like I'm grating cheese. Can you eat fire? But we ended up finding the way out and I, I got out and I was so fucked up. My head felt like I had a concussion and I felt like I gave myself brain damage without like thirsty. Yeah. And I was tired, but my body wasn't that tired. I was literally scared for my life when it comes to dehydration. Wow. Like that's how thirsty I was. Like it was crazy. And I was drinking super slow because if you just drink, it'll just throw up, which is what one of the kids did. It was came back, started chugging. It was immediately vomiting. Yeah. Um, but

it was fucking scary, man. It was just like this whole big experience. Like we were all like mad nervous at one point. Uh, but it was wild. Like the last person to get out, I think was boss. And when he, he was the last one when, when he walked out, I was just like, yeah, like I wanted to burst into tears. Cause I really thought for a second, I was like, yo, I'm gonna fucking die here. Yeah. Like it was fucking scary. It was mad scary. This is day one, bro. Now, do you feel like, uh, that you learned anything about like life kind of from that experience? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I learned don't fucking do that. The fuck? No, but like, did it change your like mentality on anything? If I'm being completely

honest, the thing that it did do, which the rest of the weekend, because we did hike the other days. Yeah. We didn't do any, we didn't like, you know, whatever, but I did learn that like, like what your limits are in a way, not limits, but like how far, how much further you could push through shit. You know what I mean? Like that whole hike and like the amount of like dehydration and like whatever, like you, you could do it. And we were waking up like the next day is like early, like we really got like five hours. Well, actually the next day, that next day, I slept like 10 hours, which I never fucking do. But like the next day we woke up early, went up for a hike again. It was just like a lot of exercise and somehow your body just gets

through the shit and you figure it out. And like, that's the only thing. I didn't learn some like crazy like philosophical things. It was just like, I learned that I could survive that kind of shit. Yeah. For that, for that time being. Yeah. But I would have learned a lot. I would have learned I would have learned what a hospital looks like in Utah. It would have been great. Dude, it was fucking. How far do you think I get through this thing? The hike? Yeah. To my house. You would have got through it, but you would have been freaking out too. Yeah. Like you would have been like really fucking. I would have been popping clons. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. I wouldn't have been passing them out. And I'll be honest with you. It was so like,

I don't want to say that like in my head right now, I'm like, thank God's like certain friends that I have didn't go on this trip. Not that they wouldn't have made it out because I would have made it. No, you wouldn't. Because in that moment, when it's like survival, like, yo, I need, I'm going to die if I don't like do this. Like I got to go. I could do that. But it's, it was very, like it takes like a certain mental toughness to do it. Also, if push comes to shove, you guys probably would try to eat me first. I mean, yeah, you could feed a village. That's what I'm saying. So I would have really been encouraged to get the fuck out of there because if I go down and they go down, they're eating me first. Yeah.

That alone, maybe I could have been able to push. Yeah, it was, it was a scary fucking. Now, would you ever do anything like that again? Hopefully say no. I mean, yes and no. Like the only problem with that whole thing, because if like the slip and the getting lost thing, I don't really mind because that's part of like hiking or whatever, because it wasn't super strenuous. Yeah. It's just that we didn't pack enough water and that was the only scary part. If we had water, it would have been fine. Yeah. Like I would have been tired and shit, but I wouldn't have been like emotionally like fucking rattled by the whole thing, but we had no water. So I felt like, yo, if we have to sit here for another two hours,

like I'm not going to make it. Who broke, like did anybody break? No. All right, that's good. That's good. Yeah. No one really broke. No one was like, because that could be contagious. The only part, I would say I was the only one who was kind of vocal about like, yo, I'm freaking out because I was the only one that like almost felt. Yeah. So I was sitting there. I was like, yo, I'll be honest with you. Like I'm freaking out right now, but I wasn't like, yo, like I wasn't like whatever. I was just saying like, I was just sitting there. I'm like, yo, I'm starting to freak out. Like we need to figure this the fuck out. But everyone was for the most part like calm. Yeah. But you know my thoughts about hiking. It's stupid.

Yeah. Because it's like, it's like, Hey, let's go do something extremely dangerous for like the views. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? To take some pictures. I'm like, yeah, like that's what they got the internet for Google Maps. We could do all that. Yeah, dude. And we, in the last day we did Angels Landing, which if you, if you Google Angels Landing Xion National Park, you will see how fucking insane that is. And like I refused anything that an angel lands on means there's dead people up there. Yeah. It's, there was, there's a sign when you first, because you have to hike all the way up this mountain and like that's tough, but it's not like super scary. Like there are parts where you could just like roll off and die. But it's like,

it would be hard to do that. But when you get to the top, Scouts Landing, you're 1500 feet in the air. Yeah. But that sounds safer. I'd rather be at Scouts Landing. And it's, yeah. And it's really not even that safe. Like there's drops that you could fall off of if you're not careful. But there's a good amount of space you could walk there. Like you, you have like 30 feet to walk. But right when you get to Scouts Landing, there's a sign for Angels Landing. It's like the last mile and a half round trip. You, you're scaling a rock and there's a chain and you have to hold on to the chain because if you slip, you're dead. And there's a sign when you first walk up there, it says nine people have died since like 2008 or some shit. That's nine too many.

Yeah. And I was like, first of all, when I see it, I'm like, I see the rock because I was like one of the first people up. And when I see it, I'm like, yo, there's no fucking way. Like this is way worse than I thought it was. And it looked way further than I thought it was too. I was like, yo, this is fucking insane. And there's children, old women. Like there was a guy with a baby strap to his back. That guy should be in jail because that's child endangerment. Why gentlemen? Why gentlemen? Of course.

A blonde white gentleman. Yeah. Of course he made it up and down. Totally fine. Probably didn't even sweat. Fucking freak. But it was a four year old girl. She's holding on to the chain like this. City people can't do that type of stuff. No man. I was like, I got up there. I was like, yo, fuck all this shit. I'm not doing it. I would feel safer being surrounded by like three armed bums than like climbing the side of that mountain. Three armed bums.

Yeah. Like whatever, like whatever bum instruments they have, you know, like a broken bottle, maybe like half of a broom. Yeah. Something that a bum would have. Nothing great. Nothing. Yeah. But I would feel safer in that environment than if I had to hold onto a chain and scale the side of a mount. A lot of our, well, like half of our group was like, we're not doing it. Yeah. And that's smart.

The other half did it, but got to the second set of chains and was like chill and just turned back. And then boss and that kid Brendan actually fucking did it. You know what? That's impressive. Dude. Yeah. Yeah. And we were sitting down there and I'm like, yo, when boss gets back, I'm immediately going to ask him to show me his balls because I got to see what these things look like because this is absurd. But yeah, it's like, it's, it's terrifying.

I'm doing it, yo. Yeah. He's like, yo, I honestly, like he, they told me because I mean, I wouldn't, I didn't fucking go with them, but they went to the first set of chains, like they got up and then they were like kind of like second guessing it and boss is like, yo, I'm going to go. And then you got to come back though. Yeah. You got to do it twice. Fuck that.

Yeah. I get nothing out of that. You know what I'm saying? And it's not that I don't think I could physically do it because if I had to do it for survival, like I would. But me going there and like putting myself through all that anxiety, I'm not really getting anything out of that. Like did a part of you be like, yo, I didn't accomplish my mish? Absolutely not.

Yes. See, I wouldn't feel that way either. Like I don't have that. Some people have that where it's like, oh, I want to like get this done and accomplish this thing. I don't, I don't have that at all, dude. I was like, fuck all that. Dude, we almost died yesterday. Yeah. Nah, I'm all set.

I hit my hiking quota. I hit my near death experience quota. I'm not about to, and I was, and I was super nervous because I don't really fuck with heights. Like it's not like, I'm not one of those people that can't stand near the edges of things. Like when there's like railings, they're like, yo, don't like, don't like at the mall even. People are like, yo, I'm walking on the right side. I'm like, dude, chill. What about like that clear like thing in Chicago?

Yeah, I could walk out on that. I'll be totally fine. You could like sit on that and take pictures. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. But, but like if there was nothing there, like then I'm not getting close to the edge. And I hate when people get close to the edge. Like I don't really fuck with that. But like, yeah, for some reason I feel like a piece of wind can like pick up a person.

Yeah, but like they can't. Yeah, you know, you just feel that way. That's what I'm saying. When you get super nervous, then your body does weird shit. Like I was afraid that fight or flight, I'd be nervous and like, fuck up and like freak out and like, oh, and just fucking fall off the mountain. So I was like, yeah, I'm not, what a horrible way to die too. It's probably so painful.

Yeah. You just, you just on the way down. You're like, no, you ever see that Simpsons episode where Homer tries to jump the Springfield Gorge on a skateboard and he falls. It's basically I want to like, it's, it's horrible to watch, but like that's like how you would die. You just, every bone in your body would break. You get crushed. Yeah. Um, before I move forward.

Never talking about crushing bodies. Oh, we're like 47 minutes into this episode. Really? I went off on a tangent. I'll be honest with you, but I just had to tell everyone about my near-death experience. Listen, if I almost die, I'm telling everybody about it. You know, like, I, like, it would be doing the show a disservice in addition. Not to tell people.

Yeah. It would be an injustice. A disjustice? Injustice. An injustice. Definitely not a disjustice. Yeah. So you're struggling too. If you, I do recommend people go to Zion and see it because it's, it's fucking beautiful.

And there's a lot of hikes that aren't hard that are there. Was there like a town? Or like, were you, were you just staying like a ranch? We stayed at an Airbnb. There's not a whole lot around. There is a town. We stayed, it was called Hurricane, but it was spelled Hurricane. But yeah, we stayed there.

Actually, you know what's really cool about that town? So they had a high school football team. It was like right down the street from where we were. And on the hill behind it, because there's fucking mountains everywhere, there's a giant H, right? And that Friday night, they had their homecoming game, the football team. And they light the H on fire. So we're sitting in our backyard at night.

And the H is just on fire in the background on the hill. That's cool. Oh, I was going to say, it was fire. So long as it's not a lowercase t, I think you guys are good. Oh yeah. Then I beg you, we got to get the fuck out of here, dude. Yeah, I know. Before you do the sponsors, I do the sponsors, then I'll ask you.

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Buy a sock, give a sock, dude. Buy a sock, give a sock. That's what I'm saying. Boom, bang, bang, bang. What were you going to ask me? Some Utah stuff? Oh yeah. Were there any animals that you saw out there?

You were like, I don't know what that is. Mm-hmm. There was? Two things. Well, we saw snakes. A few snakes. Didn't see any in the way there. On subway the first day, we saw some snakes.

Did they go, did they do that at all? Like when they stand up. No, it wasn't a king cobra. Were there like the rattlesnakes though? There are rattlesnakes out there, but we didn't see any. Did you hear any? No, no, no, no. I would have been an idiot too.

I'd be like, oh, damn, they got cicadas out here. This is fine. You ever see those guys that like pick them up and like slap their heads down? Dude, I saw a video. I don't know how they do that. They're like, wow, thank you. I saw a video on the internet of this Indian guy

slapping the dog shit out of a king cobra. And I'm like, who is this man? Was he like coming out of a basket? I don't know. But the cobra was like sizing him up like, yo, I'm about to fuck your shit up. And I know all you guys were afraid of me. And the guy was just like, stupid ass snake.

Fucking pussy. And that thing has venom in it that will kill you in minutes probably. Oh, yeah. And this guy was just like, shut the fuck up. Like he was like the most gangster motherfucker in the world. The biggest, heaviest nuts I've ever seen on a man.

Because I'll tell you this, listen, I know like. I'm not slapping no snakes. If I was going to have to slap any animal, it would probably be a snake. Fuck no. Because no, the reason why is- Bro, I would slap a sheep before I slapped anything. No, no, no, no, no.

I mean for like survival. Yeah, if the bunch of sheep were around, I'd slap a sheep in the face, dude. That wasn't going to bite me. That guy that punched that kangaroo. I'm not fucking with that meat. I'm not punching a kangaroo. Hell no, dude.

I would slap a snake. I'm not slapping no snakes. If I knew it wasn't going to bite me. Yeah, I'd slap anything if I knew it wasn't going to hit me back. So if you were like, yeah, if you had to bring any animal with you to like a fight. Gorilla. A gorilla, right? Gorillas are savages, dude.

Can an elephant beat up a gorilla? Dude, a gorilla could probably fuck up anything. I don't know, yo. Yo, what can beat up a gorilla? You know how strong they are? And they fight like dudes. Yeah, dude. And they'll just like pick up like a whole lion by the leg and just bang bang bang.

Yeah, they can like rip your limbs off. Yeah, they're fucking nuts. Dude, gorillas are like an elephant. I don't know like if I could get it to fight. I feel like a gorilla I could talk to a kind of and like do some sign language with it. Yeah. And get it popping. Yeah, you can get like a gorilla to paint or something.

Yeah, like a gorilla would come up to me in the club. Just be like, yo, are you good? I'll just be like, yo, we're about to pop off in here. Yeah, I know. Say no more fan. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yo, let's go. I know.

And then you could just, yeah, exactly. That's why you could have a gorilla because yeah, it's kind of like having a third base coach. Like you'd be like, yo, let's fucking lay that blunt down. But it really means we're about to fuck up a giraffe. Word. You know what I mean? Word. So I'd probably choose a gorilla.

Yeah. But what the fuck are we talking about? Oh, animals. Animals that you saw that were weird. I saw this spider that I actually want to Google because I don't know how dangerous it was, but it was like a pretty decent sized spider. But it had this like, you know, they have like that bulb on the back. That fat ass.

Yeah. Yeah. But it was like red as fuck. Damn. Like bright red. And I was like, yeah, what is this? Like, is this like a black widow looking like a recluse? Like, was it fit?

It had a thick ass. Damn. I shit was bouncing. It was bouncing. Yeah. The spider had a bouncy old booty. Spider with fat ass. Yeah, it did.

It had a fat old red ass. Like a bamboo of baboon's ass. Ew. It wasn't like turned inside out. Yeah. It was red as shit though. How big was it? It was like this big.

Damn, dude. So if you crushed that, there would have been shit everywhere. Yeah. There probably would have been like fucking, I don't know what, but it was like, it was filled to the brim. Yeah. Like it could have been a pregnant ass spider, but I don't really know. But I didn't know what, like I was like, yo, there's a fucking,

there's a red ass. Was this at your house or when you were walking? No, no, no. This was on the hike. Oh, thank God. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, if I saw that, I'd be like, yeah, we gotta, we gotta move.

I would have been able to sleep. No way. Fuck that. We saw that chipmunk jumped on my leg. I posted that on Instagram, scared the shit out of me. Those things are assholes, by the way. They're cute, but like get away from me, dude. They wanted your food.

Yeah. They wanted everything. And there was actually a park ranger guy there and he was like, yo, don't put your bags down and like leave them. He's like, cause people, like they'll leave their stuff. Cause it's like a tourist attraction for me. We saw people from Australia there and like all these people. He's like, these people from like England, they like left their shit.

Not when I was there, but another time. And he's like, when they came back, like their shit was just like ruined. Cause they chew through it and just like eat your food. Yeah. Fuck chipmunks, yo. Yeah. Yeah. They're mad, like fast and have large nuts, not like physically,

but they were like running along the edges. And I'm like, yo, these people don't even know how close they are from fucking falling and dying. Well, they probably get caught by fucking hawks all the time. Yeah. Yo. You saw what? Scum.

We saw a fucking condor, whatever the fuck they're called. You saw a condor? You know what they are? You have course I do. I don't, I've never heard of this before. Dude, this condor was the size of a plane. Yeah, they're big. They're huge.

Yeah. We're sitting there and I just hear, and this thing, I look up, I'm like, yo, this shit was fucking long. That shit like took up the entire sun. Yeah. Like flew over it. Yeah. And I'm like, yo, I'm like, that's, that's a bird.

You know what I'm saying? Like you see birds and shit. And then some guy, some white guy with his shorts like way too high. He was just like, everybody. Doesn't work there or work for, he was just a guy. And he's like, everybody, that's a California condor. I was like, shut up. Shut up, Jerry.

Might have been like an autistic guy, maybe. No, no, no. He was right. He was like, why'd you do that? You know what I meant. No, he was just, he was just like, he was just excited. It's a condor. No.

He was just an excited white guy who just wanted to tell everyone. Why people get excited is a lot. Yeah. About like random stuff. That's a cumulonimus cloud. It's like, all right. Who gives a shit, Terry? Jeff, take it easy.

Take it easy there, Bob. Um, you saw that. That's fire though. Saw some snakes. What else? Oh, mad frogs, mad frogs and tadpoles. Tadpoles. Yo, thousands of tadpoles.

Do you think you guys would have been able to like hunt? Bro, what the fuck? Look at me. I can I hunt? No. Would you have eaten a chipmunk raw in the middle of the night? No, you had a flint. You could have cooked that chipmunk.

I wouldn't have cooked a chipmunk. You could live a few days without eating. Yeah, but I would have ate it. No. Yo, if I was stuck there overnight, could you drink the water that was in those pools? No. You can't.

No, uh, someone did have a life straw, but it was in the car. Fuck. Yeah. So if we had that, we'd have been fine. But even that, I would have started sucking everything. Yeah, I like dipped my head in the river mad times because I was fucking hot as shit. I would have sucked like a cactus, like something.

There was some cactus out there too. I love how you guys went into this with just like not a lot of planning going on. There was there was planning, but I kind of just like followed them because a lot of the kids, not a lot, but like a few of the kids who went, they did Kilimanjaro, which is fucking insane. They had to hike a little more water straight. Yeah, but we didn't know. We thought it was eight miles.

I had two, two and a half liters in my backpack. It was one of those backpacks that just has like a reservoir. A camelback. Yeah, a camelback. Did it stay cold? No. And which is fine because I didn't want it to be freezing because it's harder for your body to like digest it or whatever.

It takes more energy to heat up cold water. What? Like when you drink cold water. Yeah. It takes like your body needs to use more energy to heat up that water. Oh, yeah. Another thing there was Matt Mormons out there. Damn, dude, like a dude with like four wives.

So that's the thing, right? That's not a thing. I thought I'm big love. It was. So you remember that movie Big Love? Did I show Big Love? No. We go Paxton, RIP, Twister.

Damn, Twister was far. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you had like three wives in that show that apparently that's not a thing in Mormon. Like Mormonism, they don't do polygamy. That was like outlawed like in like 1901 or some shit like Malone. They probably got secrets though. Yeah, I'm yeah.

I mean, everyone's got secrets. We all got secrets. But no, but we saw a bunch of Mormons out there. And it was it was it was interesting. Actually, some stuff off of more. Oh, yeah. We talked to some Mormons. Yeah.

They were they were throwing some stuff at us. They try to recruit you. They didn't, which was nice because once they were like you guys should. I'd like to do I hear they're like the nicest people. Where did you hear that? I mean, not that they're not the ones I met were nice. No, just like it's like it's like known that like Mormons are really nice. I mean, I'm yeah.

Like Canadians are really nice. The kid that we met was really nice. But it also probably didn't really help that I saw Book of Mormon before I ever met a Mormon. Right. So it made it everything funnier. Yeah. But yeah, the kid that we were talking to like did his mission and fucking like the Czech Republic or some shit.

So he lived there for like two years. Yeah, I'm good on that. Yeah, I'm all set. Yeah. I'm all set. I mean, I could barely get three days in the fucking woods. And we asked him because he's I think he's like there now. And I was like what you guys like because they can't like drink or suck or fuck or any of that stuff

or smoke or anything. I'm like, so what do you guys like usually do on the weekends like for fun? He's like like this. I'm like, I wouldn't do this ever again. Yeah. This kid's just doing it for fun. One of those kids did fucking angels landing for like like his third time. I was like, dude, chill.

See, that's what happens when you're not getting your dick sucked. Start going to angels. Just tempting death. It gets sucked, bro. Fuck that mountain. Fuck some plus. Oh my god. I'm serious, man.

That was an interesting trip. It was an interesting trip, though. Usually like last year we did Denver and did those hikes, but those hikes were easy, dude. It was like, you know, yeah, of course it is. And we went to breweries. We went to the baseball game, football game. Like that's a good trip. I'm down.

Went to a casino when you were there. All right. In Denver? No. No, no, no, no, no. And you told? Oh, we drove back. We flew out of Vegas.

So we were at Vegas watching week one. Nice. Yeah. When anything? 30 bucks. Better than nothing. No, I didn't I didn't put any bets in for the football games. But where I was sitting at the bar, they had like a screen.

So I was just playing. I put like $10 into Blackjack. And I was just playing like screen Blackjack while I watched the games. Boss probably lost like $700. I didn't ask him, but probably. But you know, when actually when I boss, when we walked over to the table, he had three, he put $300 on it and then kept putting $100 on red and hit three times in a row.

So he doubled up and then he just bounced. But I hope he bounced. No, he did. He walked away. But then I think he went back. So who knows? All right. Well, I'm happy you enjoyed your trip.

Yeah. That sounds very exciting. Happy to be alive. Yeah, that's the that's the main thing. Happy that you made it out. But you would categorize it as 100% in your death experience. No, yeah, it was. Yeah.

Like and I would I would categorize it aside. I wish I had a picture of that part of the hike. You could probably find it. Maybe. It was fucking nuts though. If you Google Google. If you're a Google. If you're if you Google Earth it.

I'm sure you know. Perhaps. Nah. How are you going to send a whole bunch of people out to go hiking? And then there's no service. There's no there's no stands. There's no place like campsites set up. The only thing that was what is that?

What campsites? Yeah. Like places like, you know, if you get stuck here overnight, at least you could stay in this campsite. I don't know. The only fucking die out there permit to die. The only thing that's weird is that they didn't tag any trees or they didn't do any of that.

Yeah, I feel like they want you to die out there. I don't think they want you to die. Sick freaks. But they should have tagged some stuff because nothing was tagged. The only thing that there was was that sign. It was one small sign that said this is the way to go. Probably a patron planted probably. I don't know.

But it was fucking. I'm happy to get there at night because then like some weird albino like family. Probably would have fucking ate all of you. What? I feel like mountains always have like, you ever see like the hills have eyes? Yeah. I always feel like weird mountain places like that at night have like these weird

can't come out during the day people and like they would have ripped you to shreds and they all have like ripped up pants and like don't wear like, they don't wear socks or shoes. But for some reason they can run on all of this terrain. They have like callus feet, you know, and they would have ate you guys. I want to go on record. I don't know what you're talking about.

Please you've heard of these people. I will say there are some strange people in Utah. Yo man, we stopped on the way to Zion. Like we drove like two hours and we stopped to like get gas or something and take big old poops. And we went into this like gas station. First of all, it's like a grocery store. There's beds, showers and like whatever like a legitimate truck stop. And we go in there and Eric is wearing a shirt that's like,

it's like a martial arts, like whatever. So she goes, you guys are a martial arts team. And we're like, no. And then Pete just got a coffee. And I found this to be so funny, but Pete got a coffee and he walks up to the counter and she just goes, oh, she goes, is that it? He goes, yeah. She goes, big spender.

Whoa. He's like, he's like, what the fuck? Where am I supposed to buy an aisle of shit? He's like, I just need a coffee. We're driving it up to. What a bitch. Why'd she say that? I don't know, but it was so funny.

Big spender. Yeah. So it's funny that you say that because I went to a wedding like two weeks ago. Yeah. And I got dominoes. That's like my thing. Like if I go to a wedding, I get dominoes almost every time after the wedding because I don't want to be like a sick, disgusting freak.

Like eating at the wedding. You know what I'm saying? Like give me all this I want to do in the privacy of my own room. Okay. So I called dominoes and the guy I'm talking to is like a really nice guy. So I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. And, uh, you know, it gets along like where there's like small chat, like,

and he's asking me what kind of pizza I want. And I'm like, Hey, uh, I'll take a medium, nothing on it. He goes, Oh, all right. So at first I'm like, Okay, that was a little strange. And then the second one I was like, let me get a thin crust cheese, nothing on it. He goes, Oh, well, okay. So then I was like, what's, I was like, do you guys have those? Or like, I thought he was saying like they don't have them.

He's like, no, we got them. Then I was like, why'd you say, say it like that? Oh, I didn't know you were a fucking pussy. Yeah. No, no, no, no. He was like, Oh, no, it's like, you know, we, because a lot of people usually get like the two topping deal or something like that. I'm like, Oh, okay.

So I'm like, all right, let me get that. He gives me the two for like half off. He gives me like a deal. So now I'm talking to him for a little bit. And he goes, all right. He's like, how would that sound? Word up to your mother. Was it vanilla ice?

Yo, he says word up to your mother. So now I'm like, is that even a saying? Yeah, it was like 25 years ago. It's word to your mother. Not word, word up to your mother. He said word up to your mother. And then now I hear that. And I'm like, this dude's fucking with me.

So I'm like, yo, I'm like, word to your mother. So now I'm giving it back. So now I realized that I don't think he's joking. I think that's just the way he talks. Yeah. So now it's like, all right. So how much is it going to be? I give him my card information, all that.

And then I go, all right, man, thanks a lot. I appreciate it. And then he goes word all the way up to your mother. Yeah. All the way? All the way up. That's way too far up to your mother. And then I go, yeah, what are you talking about, man?

You said that? Yeah. I said, what is that? Word all the way up to your mother. Yeah. I was like, what is that? And he was just like, no, he's like mumbling. I was like, dude, I know it's late or whatever.

And like, it's like that. But like, that's like, why would you say that to me? Yeah. And then he was just like, no, I was just messing around. I was like, dude, all right, just like send me the pizza. Because the first time I get it, it's funny. He said three times about wording up to my mother. I'm like, dude, just send me the fucking pizza.

Shut the fuck up. Why are you befriending a Domino's guy? Just get your pizza. Because I'm a nice guy on the phone. And I don't know where I am. And I'm like, all the way up in fucking Ithaca, New York, I'm trying to be nice. And then it's all the way up.

Yo, the guy said, word up all the way to your mother. All the way to her. When he said that, I said, this guy's being a piece of shit. All the way up is not an expression. That's sexual, almost. Yeah. Yeah. You want to word up all the way to my mom?

Yeah, what? Yeah. Disgusting fucking freak. What does that mean? All right. What word? I don't know. Which word?

The first one caught me off guard. I was like, if someone said word up to your mother, I'd be like, who's fucking stepdad is this? Yeah. And Alana was there. She was like, what happened? I was like, kept saying word up to my mother. She's like, what are you talking about?

Word up to your mother, and then word up all the way to your mother. I would continue the conversation to see how far up he could go. Word up all the way to your mother. That's exactly how he said it. Fucking asshole. I hope he's watching this.

Piece of shit. All the way up to your mother. Like when he said word to your mother, I thought he was just trying to be cool. Like it's late, whatever. And now this guy's fucking with me now. He thinks I'm some fucking asshole. Oh god, that's so funny.

And then he was like, well, what's your zip code? He was like, oh, that's New York City, isn't it? I was like, yeah? They was like, yeah? You like living there? I was like, yo, what is this guy? This guy's lonely and weird. But I wanted to get to our next part here.

How much time we got? We're an hour and 15 minutes. All right, cool. This is our show. We do what we want. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? This is like, but I've been looking up.

There was a phenomenon like a couple years back known as the eclipse. No, no, no, no. That was terrible. So many people died. We lost a lot of good men out there. We lost a lot of good men out there. The trades.

The Yankees. I had the trades in Fridaid and Sink. I don't know what I'm talking about. No, but you remember like that thing when it was like Google Florida Man arrested? Yeah. And like you saw what came up. Yeah.

What came up for you? Do you remember? What came up for me? Your birthday, dude, because it was like put your birthday in and then Florida Man. Oh, yeah, yeah. Mine was like some dude broke in the Home Depot and like stole a whole bunch of shit.

That was the only thing I had. Mine was a kid who vaped to come. Yeah, yeah. That's gross. Yeah. Like you can't just like start jewel and come. No, no, no. There's rules.

Hold on. Let me look it up real again. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. February 25, Florida Man. Oh, wait. First of all, this one is Florida Man charged with battery after allegedly throwing cookie at girlfriend, which is weird because I just told that story about Keith.

Yeah, yeah. You could have went to jail if he was in Florida. Florida Man arrested after a threat to pull off women's jaw. Yeah, you got to arrest them. Yeah, I mean, I don't need that's a, you know, crazy. Oh, that this is the one. See, Florida Man vape semen. That's fire.

That probably tastes gross. Smokey jizz. I'm all set. Jizz in your lungs. Damn, you're gonna get your lungs pregnant, bro. I don't know if you are allowed to have semen in your lungs. I think I've said this on the show, though, but you ever come and been like,

one of these was like a professional athlete. I always think about if the first time you ever nut in your life. It's the super nut, right? Yeah. Like the best potential person is there. If the first time you come is when you come in a woman and she gets pregnant, super hero, yeah, probably can fly. Like you never jerked it.

Never came by accident. No, uh, what's that shit? Were you like home in the middle of the night? Free, uh, uh, sleep wet dreams. Wet, wet, Jack. Yeah. What Jack? What are you saying?

What do you Jack? That's not what premature Jack. No. What dreams? Like a nocturnal admission or whatever. You know, that sounds like a Tom Cruise movie. Yeah. But there's, if you don't, none of that happens.

And the first time come leaves your body, it's a baby. That motherfucker is going to be bad. Yeah. It has all good, has all good traits. It's got all the, you know, by the time you get to, that's why everyone's so regular. Because by the time you, you've nut so many times. Yeah, but I don't know, man.

I beat this thing up. Like that's what I'm saying. You're probably on like your like 10,000th nut. Yeah. Easily. Yeah. Yeah. And by that time, it's just like a regular.

It's like that, uh, it's got no superpowers. Yeah. It's like, uh, Coach Steve's, uh, little master. That guy, that's what my sperm looks like now. Yeah. But I, I Google, I just was going down a rabbit hole of like, these Florida men arrested.

I didn't put in any dates, but. Love this shit. So I got some good ones. Yeah. I'm going to start off with a hot and heavy one here. Yeah. A Florida man met another guy on a Unic fetish site, which I didn't even know.

Wait, what's a Unic again? That don't have dicks? Yeah. They're castrated. I only know that from my Game of Thrones. Yeah. I remember it from Family Guy. Okay.

No dick fetish. No dick fetish. So a Florida man met another guy on a Unic fetish site, which is crazy to me, then castrated him. Wait. Oh, it took his balls too? Come on. Yeah, dude.

So he met up with them. A 74 year old man was arrested Monday in charge. Oh my God. It was 74? 74, dude. Cutting off dick. So is it energy to cut off? No, balls.

Yeah. Whatever. He's 74 and you still got the energy to cut off someone's fucking sack? Yeah. And listen to what he was charged with. Charged with second degree felony of practicing medicine without a license resulting in bodily injury. Yeah.

Wouldn't that just be like attempted murder? No, he wasn't trying to kill him. He was just trying to like make sure he doesn't have balls to fuck. God. Yeah. Wait, if I stab someone in the heart, but then I go, I was trying to save his life. Is that me practicing medicine, like not in a legal way or whatever the fuck?

And it's second degree. It's not first degree. I don't know the degrees. Well, I would think it was first degree if I touched your balls and I cut them off. I thought it would be first degree practice of medicine without a license. Down, Florida, maybe second degree. I don't know. I don't really know the degrees.

Who does that? Who cuts a man's thing? Thanks. Who doesn't have a dick? Let me rock with my balls at least. What's a eunuch fetish site? I want to look at it now. You're interested in dudes who don't have dicks or who have lost their dick?

That's like backwards like tranny porn, I guess that. Wait, what? Because like chicks with dicks is like a site. Yeah. Eunuch would be like dudes with no dicks. Yeah. Can you come still? I don't know.

You're going to have to look this up. I'm going to have to. Now I'm not going to do it here. We should have done some research. You should have done some research. I love when people say stuff like that when we talk about stuff. I'm like, you know, you should really do some research before you talk about it. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's exactly the opposite of what I want to do. Yeah, do research. You want to know what makes things less funny? Research. Research. That's what it is. Another man, Florida man arrested for having truck-shaped ecstasy pills. What?

He had a stencil? He had a, apparently, apparently. Well, this is clearly all sold to white people. Yeah. So a Florida man was arrested after he was caught with five ecstasy pills that were the color orange and in the shape of Donald Trump's face. Face. Yeah.

Yeah. Which is probably copyright as well. Yeah, probably. Yeah, I'm surprised. There's a whole, there's layers to this trouble. I'm suing. I'm going to sue you. This is deplorable, but let me get it.

Let me get four or five. Let me have a taste. Let me just see what they do. Me and Melania have been going through some stuff. Yeah, I think that's copyright and also ecstasy is obviously illegal. Yeah. But yeah, that's fucking strange. Yeah, you think anyone's ever trademarked the word titties?

I think people have tried, but I don't know if you can trademark like that. You know, a national treasure. Right? I always wondered about that. Like, can you trademark words just like, like dick? Probably not. Can I copyright this dick?

Yeah, I don't think so. You could probably copyright your own shit. I do never. And the other thing I never understood, they were like, yo, her ass is insured for like $500,000. Yeah. What does that mean? How do you insure your ass cheeks?

Like, if somebody like- Wait, is that like a real thing? Yeah. Who's got an insured ass? JLo has- Her cheeks are her whole. Her ass cheeks are insured. Yeah.

So that if they get cut off, that she gets paid. Or like, if they get damaged somehow, she could get like, because like, they're a part of her career. Is that real? I believe so. We should have done some research. But not enough. I think you can insure parts of your body.

If you had to insure, what would you insure? I don't think I have anything insurable to be honest with you. Nothing's that great. I think it's all good. Nothing like spectacular. Damn dude, this is sad. Maybe my feet. Ew.

Ew. You take my feet. Literally, if I woke up tomorrow with someone else's feet on, I'd be like, whatever. She put socks on. I would say maybe my penis, because like, I don't want to get to know another penis. I mean, it takes some time to acclimate.

You know what I mean? Like, I feel like I know this one so well, that like, I know how it likes to be held. Yeah. But- It's also like, you know, Common Core, how they change the way people do long division now and shit. Like multiple-

Like times tables. Like dude, I'm not going back. No. I'm learning a new system. No, no, no, no. It's kind of like that. No. I maybe would insure like my brain,

because that's like about all I got. You know? But yeah, I'm going to buy one of those Trump Ecstasy pills. Uh, Florida Man arrested after chugging $7 bottle of wine in Wal-Mart bathroom. Now, let me premise this. Preface with this. Yeah. I think a lot grosser things happen in Wal-Mart bathrooms.

Yeah. Now, if a guy was going to drink a $7 bottle of wine, I might just let him have it. That's a desperate man. Also, if you're going to steal a bottle of wine and just chug it in the bathroom, oh no, I would go a higher shelf. Yeah. I'll grab a 30 bottle or something.

$7. I think he tried to like, keep it cheap. So that he couldn't get in too much trouble. Like grand larceny or some shit. Yeah, I guess so. I think the price matters, doesn't it? Like when you get arrested? I don't know.

I think it does. Probably. But you can't get, nothing's grand larceny if you're chugging a bottle. Even if you chug the bottle of like, fucking ace of spades or some shit. Yeah. I don't know. That was the first bottle that came to my mind. So this is a, those other two happened in Florida, but now I'm taking Florida to somewhere else.

Oh, you're going to different states. You can, you can leave, you could take the guy out of Florida, but you can't take the Florida out of the man. Oh, what I'm saying. Okay. So Florida man arrested in nude attack against female tourist in Key West. So, is it? What?

Wait, where's Key West? I thought Key West is like an island. I don't know. I think it's in Florida. No way. Key West? I thought Key West was like, yo, I'm mad dumb son. Should have done some research.

No, no, no, it is an island. Is it part of Florida though? I don't know. I'm trying to find out. It says in the straights of Florida. There you go. Yeah. In the straights.

Yo, I'm so dumb. I'm going to let you know what I thought. What'd you think? I thought the West Indies. That's really dumb, man. Yeah, I know. It's not good. It's not great.

It's not good. Listen, it's not good for me. Should have done some research. Should have done some research. I'll tell you that. But that's going to become a new thing on this show. Research. Should have done some fucking research there.

I can't believe I'm really taken back by that. I fucked this up. No, that's fine. But wait, a nude attack? Yeah. He attacked a woman? Nude? No, no, no, two women.

He attacked two women? Nudely. Yeah, female tourists. He got all up in that thing. Wait, did he attack? How did he punch them? All right, so when they were leaving, this guy, McNeil, offered to drive them to their hotel.

Naked? I guess he was naked at the time. Well, that's what that's. He met them at a bar. So he couldn't have been naked then. So he wasn't naked in there, but he offered to give them a ride home. The women tried to leave,

but deputies say he blocked them, which led to a physical altercation with one of them bitches. All right, so McNeil placed his hands on her throat and pushed her into a television in the living room, which broke. Goddamn. She also stated both women ran out of a porch door,

but McNeil pushed them from behind and both fell down the stairs. A double push? Yeah, naked double push. Oh, he's naked now. Yeah, terrified both women managed to hide in some nearby mangroves? Florida's got some stuff.

What the fuck? What the fuck is a mangrove? It's a good hiding spot. I guess so. Debbie say McNeil's car on the property and spot of the broken TV in the living room, but no one ever answered the door. Both women accused him of being the attacker

in a photo lineup. I wonder if they made them get fucking naked in the photo lineup. Word, yo. Damn. That's weird. Why are you attacking people naked? That's scarier.

I'd be more scared if a guy tried to fight me naked than anything. Oh, yeah. Naked people are just like crazy, man. There's like a video that services like every three months of like a new naked guy in like Times Square. It's like, yo, god damn, man. Oh, wait.

No. So what happened was is they went with him. They began drinking shots at some point. McNeil left the room only to return fully naked. Oh, he tried to like give him the old Louis CK. All right. This is my favorite one because we were talking about food and throwing it at people.

I feel like that's how they talk down there, right? Get ahead. A Florida man was arrested after a fight. A turkey sandwich was the weapon, cops say. Damn, you could hit someone with a turkey sandwich? I guess so. I wish someone would hit me with a turkey sandwich right now. Yeah.

I'd be a little bit afraid. I'll take an ass whooping from a turkey sandwich, man. That sounds delicious. Yeah, like if you, I'll think about eating it if it hits me, it hits the table. Yeah, like if you punch me in the face with a turkey sandwich and I get some mayo, I'm not that upset yet. I'm going to do that.

Yeah, I'm going to make sure it tastes okay. Yeah, a little bit of that. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I'm going to get in there, but I'm not going to go all the way. Like if it goes on the ground, I'm not going to be able to eat it. You know what I'm saying? No, but if a piece of turkey lands on my arm,

I'll pick it up and give it a taste. Yeah, yes, yes. I'll give it a taste. The argument soon escalated and the 40-year-old suspect threw a turkey sandwich at her. Oh, threw it? I would have caught that one now. Striking the victim in the face, near her eye.

It's dangerous, man. You could lose sight. Yeah, yeah, it's true. A turkey could take out your eye. Yeah, yeah. The report went on to say that the conflict turned even more violent with Bryant pinching the woman's neck. That's a weird way to...

I'm going to throw it and then pinch. A throw and pinch. Yeah. A classic throw and pinch. Ow, I hurt my... Oh. I don't think anyone's ever been pinched in the neck. I think that's a...

That's a... That guy invented it. Yeah, but it's like those guys in the Navy where they're like, what's up? Like they like go to sleep. Yeah, but that's like more collarbone, like traps. Yeah. Ow, I hurt myself.

I think I pinched something in my neck. Yeah, I mean... Fuck. Pinching the woman's neck, causing a visible abrasion and pushing her head onto a car. Due to her statement and fresh injury. See what they did there. Nice.

Turkey sandwich. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was a fresh sandwich. Yes. It's the West Virginia native. So he was a Florida man from West Virginia. Now, if you take those two and put them together... We got a turkey sandwich throwing motherfucker, man.

Mega piece of shit coming at you right there. So I'm saying not only did he hurt a woman, but he also littered and he like wasted a perfectly good turkey sandwich. Yeah, I mean, I think he should get life. I think he should get life just because of... Like, you know, you don't throw turkey sandwiches, man. You could throw bologna sandwiches because whatever. Bologna sandwiches, man.

You don't throw turkey? No. You don't throw turkey? No, dude. Probably even if it was low sodium turkey. Did he say what else was on the sandwich? Like, was there lettuce and like... They didn't go that far.

Cheese and stuff? That wasn't in the affidavit. So hungry. Yeah. But all right, and the last one was... This one's unbelievable. Authorities say a Florida man has been arrested for being belligerent and giving his girlfriend a wet willy.

Wait, he was arrested for giving a wet willy? Yes. How fucking deep in that ear canal did he get? I guess that's a salt. Well, I mean, there is some penetration. But I've never been like, you fucking bitch. I fucking hate you. You're taking your ear, you goddamn whore.

Yeah. This might make me food. Yeah, that's, yo, I haven't wet willyed in so long. Wet willies are fucking disgusting. Very gross. For everyone involved. Everyone involved. Putting my finger in my own mouth, I wouldn't do that.

I'm not one of those people. And then shoving it into someone's ear, I would literally have to walk around like this until I cleaned it. I'd be like, ew, this is gross. You ever rub your ear and be like, yo, my ear is disgusting right now. I need a Q-tip so bad.

There's like crust in it? Yeah. You're like, yo, what? I was like, why is it, it looks like a sunburn and your ear kind of, it's like all like, scaly. I don't like that. Like an old snake in my ear. Don't like it.

You ever been out in public and you catch a glimpse of someone's ear canal and you're like, this guy better clean up. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Eventually that's going to start dumping out the side all over the street. You're a wonkai. You found out I have hair in my ears.

Yeah, you had some long hairs. Yeah, I had to cut them. I had to get a trimmer. Yeah, I don't even know how you hear with all that hair. That was, that was what, dude, it was crawling. It looked like a spider. Okay. It looked like a spider was crawling out of those ears.

You know, just saying. I hope, I hope your ears never grow hair. Well, I'm going to, can you cut them? Or you can get a machine. I have, I have, I have one of those circular things for your nose and then for there. Oh dude, I would never be able to do that without sneezing.

I, I, I, it's itchy. Yeah. It's itchy. It needs to run a whole afternoon probably. Yeah. Yeah. Probably. Yeah, but Q-tips, how often should you Q-tip?

And do you lick the tip like moisten the tip? What? I'm moisten the tip of my Q-tips. Why? Because it just feels better in my ear. No, I, I, you know, I, I raw dog it. Okay. Okay.

I just shove it in there. Have you ever touched your eardrum with a fucking toothpick? It is awful. Not a toothpick, a Q-tip. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't feel great. It's like, it sends like a vibration through your head, like your ear.

Two things. One, they say Q-tips aren't actually that good because you're pushing wax into your head. Yeah. Which I don't know what the repercussions for that. But whatever. But also Q-tipping your ears sometimes is like, let me rephrase this.

Q-tipping your ears is like jerking off your head. Yeah. Because it feels good. When you get that fat clump out of there too. Oh, God. Like, I love that shit. I'll do it and look at myself in the mirror just to watch myself enjoy it.

Which is fucking strange, you know what I mean? But it's, it's like I said, it's kind of like jerking off your whole face, your whole head. See, like your bathroom is like, remember like you would go to a friend's house and they would have toys but like, they never had all the pieces. Yeah.

Or like the batteries. Right. Or they never had batteries. Yeah. That's why I kind of what your bathroom's like. But I'm happy that you got Q-tips in there. Yeah. So you could jerk off your head.

Yeah. At least you have that. Yeah. You know? I like to double it up too. I take two and I go same time. I just like, my whole body. Have you ever felt like ear wax fall out of your ear?

I don't think so. That happened to me like two times, like recently. You ever go to itch your ear and then it's like, there's mad wax and you're like, what the fuck? Yeah, it's disgusting. Yeah. What the hell?

What is ear wax to begin with? I don't know. But can you make crayons out of it? You probably could. It's wax. Can we light a candle with this? Shrek did that. He did.

Remember he pulls it and he lights it? Also, there's a thing where you could light a candle and put it in your ear and like, it pulls all the wax out of your ear. I've seen that. Yeah. I've seen that. I would never do that.

Oh, I'm not. Apparently you could pull your eardrum out of it. I'd rather not. Yeah, so that's kind of strange. Another thing. Bathroom related. Yeah. Do your pubes ever get on the floor like of your bathroom?

I assume. Now, if you go to use your own toilet, right, and you see a pube and or pee, do you sit on the pee or you wipe it off? Oh, you wipe the pee. You don't sit on pee. You don't sit on pee. Not on purpose.

But a pube you'll sit on though, right? No. You'll get rid of the pube. Oh, not the pube. I clean my toilet seat so much before I sit down on it. And it's mine. You treat it like a fucking public restroom? Yeah, like I'll clean it before.

I can't have any dry pee. Yeah, I don't like any of that. I don't like any dry pee. Well, there shouldn't be dry pee if you lift the seat. I don't. I'm not a big seat lifter. Really? Yeah, I'm not.

I always lift the seat. No, I'm not. I'm guilty. Why? I don't know. I pee in the shower. What does that mean? Like, I think like that's kind of gross too.

What? But like, I do it. Peeing in the showers is American as apple pie. Yeah, I guess it is. Everyone pisses in the shower. I'll save a pee for the shower. Yeah, I know, but it's like... I'll let the water be cold and then I pee warm on my body

so I can feel the contrast. You know, I like doing stuff like that. Where do you put your toenail clippings? You leave them on the floor? Or in the sink. But I wash them away. Okay. Yeah, no, I don't do it on the floor.

But my toenails are weird. Like, I only clip once and then they peel off like perfectly. It's weird. Telling you. How often do you clip your nails? My toenails? Not that often. They don't really grow like that.

My nails grow pretty well. Like right now, I could clip them. I could clip mine for sure. Yeah. So I probably don't do it as much as I should. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like there's weird, there's bathroom stuff.

Like, do you... Like, are you one of those people that like you have to like wipe until like there's nothing left or like, do you go off feel? Off feel? Like feel, like you wipe enough to be like, yeah, my butthole should be good. Or do you like go until there's no wipe? I don't go off of site.

I'll be honest with you. Really? I go strictly off site. Really? Yeah. It has to be, like there can't be, like you're analyzing. Yeah, there can be no trace of shit. No, I don't, I don't like, I don't, no, I don't do that.

Damn, you go off feel, dude. I do, I go off feel just because I'm like, yo, once my asshole starts to be like, dude, take it easy on me. I'm starting to get hurt here. Then I'm like, all right, I'll let you live. The worst is when you... The worst is when you brush,

not brush, wipe. And you wipe too hard. Yeah. And then it's like, oh God, now I'm stingy. I'm all stingy. Now you have a stingy asshole. Yeah. I hate that.

I hate that, man. A stingy asshole. If you ever had a wedgie so bad, you're like, yo, I'll do anything to get this out of my ass. No, when your ass is itchy. That's what, oh my God. My ass is itchy. I'll scratch my ass now.

Yeah, I don't care. I'll look around though. And I'll like make sure, like I'll back up into like a wall. So I can just be like, oh man, I'll start like, I'll start like checking my pockets and making like, where's my wallet? And then when I go to check the back pockets

for the wallet, I'll just dig in that ass real quick and be like, yo, thank you, Lord. Yo, there's nothing worse than an itchy ass because you have to get so far into the crack of your ass. I know. I gotta like part my cheeks. It's like, yo, can it just be like on the outside of my ass cheek?

It's got to be so in there. And you're just doing four fingers. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I'm basically trying to fist to myself at that point. Oh yeah, I'm just, oh my God. And it feels like you're opening your asshole in a way. You know what I'm saying? Like you're trying to talk with one ass.

It's like, yo. It is. It really is. Why is it so itchy? I don't know. I need a bidet, man. I need a bidet. I can't be itching this ass like that.

It's fucking crazy. Well, you should hook up that other thing. No, I know. I gotta start spraying this fucking aim. Spray that fucking aim. But like, that is more like than Q-tipping for me. Scratching an ass itch? Yeah.

That's a jerking off for your ass. And the worst thing about James, you can't scratch that ass. No, because there's no bend. There's no bend. No break, dude. Yeah. That's why I used to love it in shorts. So you got to dig in through your shit.

Yeah, yeah. You got to go under? No, no, I'll bare ass my scratches. Sometimes if I have the necessities, the tools, I'll put like a man pond in there. Like I'll put like some teepee in there to dry it off. Then I'll scratch it over like my boxer's briefs. I'll just like, if I'm wearing jeans,

because you can't scratch your ass like through your jeans. Your jeans are like y'all chill. It's impossible. Yeah. You're going to rip your jeans. Even if you are in stretch denim, doesn't matter. Your jeans won't let that ass be scratched. It blocks it.

And it's so clumped in there. Yeah. Like you have a G string on. Yeah. So you got to go into your jeans. You got to like undo your belt, go in through your jeans, and then just start scratching. Oh.

You ever have like that when you have to? But it's scary when you've got thin underwear, because now you're like, yo, I'm definitely getting some particles on my hands. Yeah, I don't care at that point. I just need to scratch this ass. Yeah, I know. I got to wash my hands.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. But like I'm just going to scratch the ever loving shit out of this all puns intended. Exactly. You ever have one of those shits where you have that insanely like painful cramp? Where you almost can't walk?

Yeah. And you're stomach for a second? You're like, oh. And you can't walk? And it feels like the lower part of your stomach is going to explode. You're like, this is I'm done. Yeah.

You're like, yo, something popped in my stuff. I was in the elevator. And I was like, yo, I have to shit, man. And like I live on the 11th floor. So like around floor six, it started getting bubbly. Because you have a bubble up. So it went brr. And then it forms a big bubble.

Yo, I hate that. Yeah, that's the worst. And I was just like, oh, oh. Yeah, not fun. I couldn't walk. Yeah. Yo, I couldn't walk. I know.

And then it tightens up. It's like a cramp. And then it just goes away. Yeah. And then I'm like, oh my god, I can shit. And then he's like a disgusting dope. Yeah. You ever try to hold in a fart, right?

And like it's pushing against your ass hole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like it's right up at the gate. You know what I mean? Like Black Friday. Yeah. But then you can't fart because of whatever situation you're in.

So you're clenching those cheeks. And you're like, yo, please god, just like stay in there. And then all of a sudden, you kind of like break it in half. And it kind of disappears into your lower intestine. And it feels like, OK, that's gone. But then you start getting bloated. And you're like, this is going to come back later. Oh, yeah.

You know what I mean? It's like when you beat the shit out of someone, you all be back, though. And then it comes back with a vengeance. And then when you fart like that, that shit will move your pants. That's just like a fucking saloon door. Dude, I swear to God, I have folded mad farts in my stomach.

Because like I said, it's out of your ass. You fold it and it disappears. You're like, I'm good for a little bit, but I don't have much time before this turns into a poop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes. Because air is the number one accomplice to your shit. Yeah, yeah, especially like when you're really shitting,

you'll fart past poop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And just be like, poop's here. You'll be like, gosh, I'm out of here. See you guys later. They skip the line. They got the easy pass. Yeah, they skip the line.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, when you like, you shit first. And then all of a sudden, there's just mad. Yo, you ever shit on the bowl? And like, you shit. And it's like, yo, I'm not done. And then all of a sudden, like, a fart just sneaks out. And like, what was that?

And it sounds like a ghoul. Like, it's just like, ghoul. And you're like, yo, what the fuck, dog? The worst feeling is when you really have to shit. And you sit on the toilet, like, yo, I'm so ready for this shit. And it's just like, squash. Yeah. And it's no shit.

It's just a wet fart. It's just a whirlwind. And I wipe my butt. I look in the toilet. I was like, yo, I just took the biggest shit ever. There's no poop. Yeah. It's just fart.

And then you see the water just like ripples. Yeah. Just like, yo, I just fucking, if there was a sailboat, I should be flying around in there. That's what I'm trying to say. Dude, I know what you mean, man. Yeah, it's the worst. Farting into a toilet is one of my favorite things ever.

Oh, at first, you get that reverb too, which is great. Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude, it just sounds like a D minus. A D minus. A D minor. It's like, skon. Skon. Like, yo.

The best is when you have one of those farts or those shits. It's like, you got something wrong on the price. It's right. It's like, skon. And the best is when you have those farts, those shits that splash the water makes it sound like it goes like the kaplunk. Oh, my god.

They're so rare. Yeah. Farting you in between. Yeah. Once you get it, I'm like, I can't help but laugh. Yeah. Also, my ass is soaked. Yeah, yeah.

It's like dropping a big ass rock into a lake. It's like, god, don't. Didn't you recently take like a shit? Didn't you? God, don't. Yeah. And you know, you're like, that poop is laying on the bottom of this bowl.

There's no floating to that. Like, that was a head. That is like the Titanic of shits. Yeah, man. Didn't you recently take like one of your all time best shits of all time? Oh, dude, it was a phenomenal poop, man. And I don't know why I didn't take a picture of it,

but I honestly was just thrown off by like the sheer mass of this thing. It was a straight snake. Yeah. And like, you know what we talked about before? We were like, once you get going, and you're like, yo, I must have just like ate a bunch of fiber yesterday because there's a lot of stuff

coming out of me right now. Oh, yeah. And it's not breaking up. So once you get past a certain point, we're like, yo, this is already past a regular poop. I'm going to see how far I can take this. This becomes performance on. Yeah, so now I'm trying to like push but also relax,

which is like really hard for your body to understand. Absolutely. It wants to break this up, but I don't in my mind. So I kind of keep it going, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like. You want that one piece. Yeah, and then eventually when it just kind of comes

to a point, it's like, you? And then it's done. And then you're like, I did it, you know what I'm saying? And then you feel eight pounds lighter, you know? There's no farting, no air. No. And then you get up and you go, yo, what the hell is that? No, this is going to be, this front might be the grossest

thing I ever said on the show, but have you ever heard your butthole like expand? Like as the poop's coming out. And it's like the hardest shit you've ever taken. It just sounds like you grabbed a grocery bag. It's like. You know, exactly what I'm talking about. It makes a horrible sound is scary.

And then the piece that comes out is so hard, so hard. Like what happened in there? Yo, did I eat a rock? It's the worst. It's the worst. Have you ever touched poop like as it's coming out of your butt? One time I couldn't get a piece of poop off my butt. You know the one when you got to shake a little bit?

Sometimes it's that little piece of shit that just doesn't want to leave home. I get it. I feel you. I mean, it's tough. Going through change is very hard. I had to go one time and just go and flick it off my butt. You flicked your poop off? Yeah, because I couldn't shake it off.

Yeah, I've never flicked it off. I flicked it off. You flicked the poop? Yeah, but I put a thing on my finger. I don't know how you did that. And then just, but. Man, I don't even know. How'd you get your hand in there?

I just went this way. You went through the front door. Damn, that's weird. Or sometimes I'll like shake it. I'm like, did I get it? The best is when you can't hear it. Those are give the little kaplunks. Those ones go.

Yeah, yeah, nice. Yeah, dude. Your shit was probably so big it was half in the drain, like half out. No, I think it was a it was. I think it was like halfway down the goddamn. It was basically in sewer at that point. It felt like you should have taken a picture.

It always feels longer than it actually is. So you're like, like, dude, that's two feet. Well, they become fish stories. Yeah, it's like, dude, this thing was like, it went all the way to my bathroom sink. Yeah, it was. Yo, we saw a striped bass or this big. That's kind of what it was.

Yeah, it felt really long. Like, you know those jars that like clowns have where you open them and like that thing just shoots out? It felt like that kind of just came out slower. That's impressive. Yeah, it was a good it was a good poop. It changed my life. Really was a cool start to my day.

Because when you poop like that, you're like, I'm so healthy today. That's the best when you shit like that because then you're like, yo, I literally got everything out of me. You kind of feel it in your lower intestine. Just kind of snakes out of you. And you're like, this is,

well, that's the shape of my lower intestine. And how many shits do you think you take a day? Morning, I shit like clockwork. At least, I mean, you shit every morning. I don't have like a... Oh, I do. What time is it now? Yeah, I'll take a shit around like four.

I haven't pooped today. See, that's weird. It's three o'clock. I will shit before the day ends though. Of course, of course, of course. I think you're supposed to take two a day. I don't know, man. Two a day, like a multivitamin.

Oh my God. You wouldn't even believe how long you've been doing this episode, by the way. How long? Hour 50. Wow. Might as well do the last 10 minutes and hit two hours for the first time ever.

Why not? You know what I mean? I mean, we're already in the bathroom. We're already in the bathroom. You ever shit in the shower? Yeah, of course. Wait. Every kid at some point shits in the shower.

I was joking. No, I've shit in the shower. You shit in the shower? When I was 11, I wanted to see what it was like. We're talking about live poops? Or we're talking about water poops? Water poops. Oh, you water poop?

Yeah. It was an accidente, or was it? It was part, but then once it got to the door, like you know when you have two doors, you open the screen door? Yeah. The screen door was already open. I'm getting inside the, you know,

the blizzard was already there. I had to get inside. Okay. So as I got inside, I just let it all out. Yeah, but no way it was full water. No, there were some shit parts in there, shit particles. God, you shit in the shower?

Yeah, man. I shit in the shower. I've never done that. No, I shit in the outdoor shower one time too. I've pooped in multiple showers, and I'm not afraid to say it. I don't even know who you are anymore. Yeah.

The pooping in an outdoor shower was, I was at a beach house, right? And beach houses, a lot of the time, they usually only have one bathroom. Because it's like ran off like well water and shit like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like water scarce, like not where you guys

were scarce, but like, you shouldn't use a lot of water. So I used the outdoor shower. Should have done some more research. Should have done some more research for sure. So somebody was in the shower in there, and the shower has the bathroom. So I had to take a poop shit. So I went into the shower and turned the shower on,

pooped, and then showered. Because I couldn't hold it anymore. I feel you. So I shit. I didn't just like voluntarily like, I wanna see what it's like to shit in here. I had to shit. Both of my shower shits were,

one was half accidental, then I just let it go. And then the other one was like, I have to shit right now. And I'm gonna shit in this outdoor shower. Daniel, up you are, everybody. I don't think that's that strange, man. Shitting in a shower is strange. Unless that shower had a toilet, which none do.

Yeah. You ever throw up in the shower? That I've done. You take a shower, cause you're like, I just need to take a cold shower and everything will be fine. Nope. No, yeah.

The worst is like when your family has like that shower that like builds up a water, and they like won't go down the drain. I hate that shit. You throw up in that. Yeah. That's what happened to me, and my dad had to clean it.

I'm just shitting in showers. You're shitting on the ground. You're throwing up in showers. You're a mess. I'm the king of like asking my dad like how to do something, but I know how to do it. Just so he'll do it.

You know those days are over. Yeah, yeah. They're done now, but like, I remember being a kid being like, I don't know like how to like make a peanut butter sandwich as good as you do. Let me watch you. You know what my dad used to do?

But I did it like 15 times. Yeah. He put a peanut butter on both sides of the thing and a little bit of jelly, and I liked the ways he made his. Yeah. It tasted better than mine. Right.

But I couldn't admit that. My dad used to be like, hey, you want a hot dog? I'd be like, sure. He'd be like, all right, make me one too. I'm like, well, I don't want it now. I thought you were gonna make it, father. I love, I love hot dogs.

Yeah. Even though they're made from like cigarettes or whatever. Yeah. Did you boil them and then pan fry them? No, you did one of them. You either put them on the grill or you like did the water thing. You could put them in the oven too,

which I didn't know, which is like another one. I think you just need to heat them up. You can microwave them if you want. Yeah. No, they'll expand. Whatever. You ever put some metal in the fucking microwave

and think you're going in another dimension? Yeah. I honestly want to tell this story, but this camera is about to die, so I'm just gonna put the charger in. Yeah, yeah, go for it. Yeah. But.

Oh, I think I could do it. Do something. Oh, okay, I'll tell the story then. Do something. No, but there was a time where I was gonna make hot chocolate and the way we made hot chocolate was with milk and you would take milk and put it in the microwave,

heat it up, then put the powder in and just stir it. Boom, you have hot chocolate. Some people use water or whatever. I don't know. But I, so I put my mug in the microwave and I microwaved it and then I'm like, yo, what does that smell? Like, what the fuck is this?

So then I open the microwave after it's done and I wait because the cup's really hot. So I don't like do anything. And when I take the mug out, there's nothing in the mug. I just microwaved the mug and it like the whatever was like it was made out of was like popping and it had this awful smell

and my mom's like, the fuck are you doing? So I just microwaved nothing. I've done so many dumb things like that. Yo, one time my dad, I'm in the garage with him and he said, get him something. Like I said, yo, give me like a wrench or something, right? And I walked over to a radio. He wanted a tool.

I walked over to a radio. I unplugged it from the wall and then took the plug out of the back of the radio. I just had that plug and gave him that. And he goes, and he looks at me and he just goes, what the fuck is this? And then I just looked at him and I was like, I don't know what you said, but I know this isn't right.

That happens to me a lot. He's like, get the fucking wrench. I used to hate when shit like that would happen to me. Like at work, like I scare you. I would get scared to bring the wrong thing back, you know? I'd be scared that like, yo, what just happened to me? Yeah, I know. Because who would ever ask for that?

I mean, I could see how someone could find a way. Like bring me the radio is one thing. But I took the plug out of the back of the radio and then the wall and gave him that. And he was like, what the fuck is this? But you tried though. Like I would come back with like, I would just not come back.

Like when you used to do like moving jobs and they'd be like, yo, can you get some tape off the truck? And I'd be like, yeah. And then I go to get the tape and I couldn't find the tape. I'd be so like non-confrontational that like, I wouldn't go back and be like, yo, I can't find it. I just wouldn't go back. I would start working on something else.

That's the type of dude I was. That's the kind of guy I was. I don't think it's that strange. I just think I was afraid. These older men asking for tape and they're all curmudgeoning. Yeah. Yeah, one time I put tinfoil in the microwave too. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've done that too. Yeah, that's 4th of July. That's 4th of July right there. Things start sparking. It's not fun. No, I don't know. My dad had to like open it. Yeah, cause it's, yeah.

It's a lightning storm in your microwave is what it is. Did I ever tell a story down here when me and my dad found a bat in our house? A bat? Yeah, so we had this ceiling fan, right? In our living room, in our kitchen, which was also our computer room slash like meeting room. So like, you know how it is.

Okay, your family had meetings? No, no, no. Our family never ate dinner together, which was kind of weird. But it was like buffet style. Yeah. But so we're all in there. Everyone goes to bed for the night.

I'm on the computer and my dad comes in. He's like, hey, do you see this game or something like that? And he's looking like at the fan. And the fan's spinning at this time. And he was like, the fan looks weird, doesn't it? And it's spinning. And there's like this black dot that's just like, that's spinning with it.

So we're like, yeah, that's kind of weird. What is that? My dad stops the fan. It slows down and it's a fucking bat. It's a bat. And it just goes, it starts fucking flying around the living room. Me and my dad are fucking swinging at this thing.

My dad grabs this sheet and hands me the other half of the sheet. So now we're trying to like fucking catch this thing. We grab it. It flies into the sheet. And like this, he has two parts of the sheet, two parts of the sheet. We throw the thing out the window,

fling it right out the window. There's no way I would ever be able to do that. If a bat gets in here, this is his place. I didn't understand how it could move like that. Yeah, you're not dizzy. I don't know if it was sitting on it, but it kept going like this. And I was like, yeah, that looks bad weird.

What is that? It was a fucking, it was a bat. Dude, fuck bats. Yeah, bats are disgusting. There was bats in Utah. They were flying around. I was like, yo, it's back. It's in here.

I'm fucking it up. There's one kid was like, yo, bats don't bite. I'm like, you've never seen Dracula? You fucking idiot. And they do bite. You fucking idiot. Do they? Yeah, of course.

But they're based off sonar. They're based off. No, it's true. Like, they hear their food. They can't see anything. Yeah, blind as a bat. Yeah, but that's why it's like, I mean, oh shit.

They're like daredevil. They're like Ben Affleck in that old movie. Right. I don't say right that that hardly. Right, right. But they do that because I used to run around the track at my high school and there was a lot of trees and they would fucking come,

they would come swooping down sometimes because you'd be making noise. Bats can go fuck themselves. All right, before we wrap up, let's do some shout outs for some patrons. Yeah, sure. You know, my guys over here, right? Shout outs for all our patrons.

But yeah, we have Rika Mustundan. I fucked up your name, I'm sorry. Majda Lacklin-Oxford. Rodrigo Horonado. Isaiah Martinez, David McIntosh. Corey Waiter, Cynthia Luciani. Samantha Lauren Moses, damn. Moses?

It's kind of fire. Part of that seat, dog. Ellie Angie Garrito, Savannah Mylene, Devin Buchanan, Ricky Wasson, Dakota Montgomery, Katie Briggs, Ishmael Espinoza, Charlene Medina, Tyson and Gold, Clarence Moran. Moran.

Hannah Cressy, Yuri Cruz, Megan Dilbert, Erika Blankenship. That's a fire name kind of. Yeah, Blankenship. Yeah, what about Blankenship? Yeah, Zack Greene. It sounds like a clue character, you know what I'm saying? Zack Greene in a conservatory with a rope.

John Davy, Megan Hurts, Melissa Wren, Aaron Chips. Damn, that's fire. Mr. Chips, Troy Martin, and lastly, we have Caleb Benson. Wanted to give a couple of shout outs to you guys. We appreciate you guys being patrons, supporting the show. To shout. But yeah, we hope you enjoyed the two hour episodes. Like, that just happened.

I had a long ass story in the beginning, so you know, whatever, we got, you know. Gotta do that. You almost lose your life, you gotta go on for a while. I thoroughly enjoyed it. People ask for a two hour episode, so there you go, it's two hours. There you go.

Where can I find you? You found me at DanielaPriority on Instagram and Twitter, and make sure to check out the Stank Podcast with me and Mr. Frank Alvarez every Friday. Okay, new episodes at the Stank Podcast on Instagram. Yeah, guys, go check out the Stank, you said the at the Stank Podcast on Instagram. And go check out the Basem yard at the Basem yard

on Instagram and our patreon, patreon.com slash the Basem yard. There's certain tiers where you can get a shout out on the show just like that. Others where you get a personalized video message from me and Danny, and you get every episode a week early, and exclusive episodes, and extra content where we're doing Q and As with people who ask us questions and whatnot.

But yeah, go check that out. And I think that's all. Oh, go check out Other People's Lives, the other podcast that I do, with Greg, where we interview people about wild shit. What are you guys coming back? The 28th, I want to say, or something? The last Thursday in September is when we're coming back.

And we have wild episodes this season. Like, I'm really excited to put them out. But yeah, and you can go follow that show at OPL podcast on Instagram as well. That is all. See you guys next time.